View Full Version : The fight of a lifetime. (Closed to sdwdrake)
The people in the citadel were in a panic. Shell had practically taken over. She was bad for business, plain and simple. She kept insisting that they send someone out to challenge her, but even when she lost she claimed it wasn't enough of a challenge and ended up killing one or more of them. But there was one person who was daring enough to sneak out and look for a beast strong enough to take her down for good without her permission.
Normally, an act like this would have gotten this Citadel attendent killed by Shell, so he was lucky that Shell didn't notice him sneak out the window. Now all he had to do was ask around until he found someone who knew of a beast that might be strong enough to get rid of Shell once and for all.
After a while of asking around, the man finally found out about someone who might be able to help. The guy's name was Crum. And according to rumors, he was half dragon. The Citadel attendant went to seek him out immediately.
sdwdrake
01-31-07, 11:48 AM
Crum was wandering around the citadel when a citadel attendant ran (head first) into Crum, this angered him so he, glares at the human and easily lofts him off the ground.
“Human scum watch where you are going, or ill kill you, Citadel rules or not.”
The man looked at Crum and asked. “Are you Crum?”
“Yes so what of it?” he drops the human in a pathetic heap.
“PLEASE, PLEASE YOU MUST HELP!” the man groveled
“I have to do nothing human.” Crum said his anger rising, only his commander may give him orders.
“PLEASE THERE IS A CRAZY WOMAN WHO HAS TAKEN OVER AN AREA OF THE CITADEL AND WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!”
Crum was getting pissed at this time from the impudence of this human.
“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! YOU SPEEK TO ME LIKE THAT AND YOU WILL DIE A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH!”
This quieted the man “I’m so sorry” he said in fear, “But please we could use your help. You will get paid handsomely for completion of the task.”
This interested Crum, he was currently pretty low on cash and wanted to get another sword to go with the dragon blade he currently wielded.
“DEAL! But you had better pay up or ill be even worse than this woman you fear.”
Shell was sharpening her tailblade with the sword of a dead foe when she heard someone yelling. It was hard not to overhear, in fact, because the noise wasn't that far away from her. Odd thing was, it seemed that an attendent was trying to get a fight for her when she wasn't ready.
'Oh well,' Shell thought, 'The joke is on him, because I am always ready for a fight, and after I kill this new opponent, I will murder the attendent that turned against me.'
As Shell continued to listen in, she realized that her opponent seemed to be just as chaotic as she was. In fact, everything the guy said seemed to be exactly what she would say if she was in the same situation, but just as Shell was about to go and see if the guy was willing to help her take over the citadel, she heard him say “DEAL! But you had better pay up or ill be even worse than this woman you fear.”
This struck a chord with her and she just snapped.
"I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, BUT I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY ARE BETTER THAN ME. IT'S ON!!!!! RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!!!"
The attendent looked over at her, he was shaking in his skin.
"I-I-I will p-p-prepare a r-r-room."
"FUCK YOU!!! I SAID RIGHT HERE AND I MEANT IT!!!" Shell yelled out angrily to the man as she slashed his left arm off. "By the way... thank you for reminding me to KILL YOU!!!!"
Shell slashed the attendent's head in two, letting the brains spill out everywhere and turned to face her foe.
"NOW IT IS YOUR TURN TO DIE, FOOL!!!!" Shell yelled as she attempted to slash his neck wide open.
sdwdrake
02-10-07, 11:17 AM
Crum watches as this woman demand the fight happen right here right now, this brings a huge smile to Crum’s face, he just hated to wait for a fight to start and from the power this woman commanded it was surely going to be fun.
Suddenly after she finished with the fool she turned to Crum.
"NOW IT IS YOUR TURN TO DIE, FOOL!!!!" she screamed as she attacked Crum, planning to cut open his throat, and Crum was barely able to duck under the blow.
“ME DIE!?! AS IF I WOULD LET A STUPID WOMAN BEAT ME!!!” and started into a powerful counter attack, he went straight from the crouch and launched his entire wait into a strike at the bottom of her jaw. This is getting more and more fun by the second, and the shower of this woman’s blood will be glories.
“NOW DIE!!!”
Shell smiled as she barely avoided the hit. This guy was just the type of fighter she was looking for. It was almost as if she was battling herself... Almost.
Shell started to spread her wings and take to the air before she realized that there was a low roof in the hallway, So instead, she started to slash at her foe with a seemingly endless barrage of chest blows.
"YOU REMINDED ME A LITTLE TOO MUCH OF MYSELF. DIE."
sdwdrake
02-18-07, 02:48 PM
Crum was just able to block the barrage of attacks the woman threw at him.
“HA STOP THINKING ABOUT ME AND START THINKING OF YOUR LIFE, FOR IM GOING TO SLAUGHTER YOU!!”
Crum launches himself a good distance back and wades right back in throwing back his own volley of attacks at her head.
She will die on my blade, Crum thinks to himself, and I will taste her blood.
This guy was almost her equal. It was amazing how fast he was attacking with his sword, but fast or not, Shell had a surprise up her sleeves.
After dodging the first few swings, Shell just let out a chaotic laugh. "YOU FOOL!!! YOU THINK I HAVE EVER CARED ABOUT MYSELF? ALL I CARE ABOUT IS FIGHTING!!" After dodging a few more swings, Shell proved her point by using her arm to block the blade. Her arm was cut completely off, but she didn't care at all. In fact, she hardly seemed to notice. What she did notice was that the blade went a bit slower when it cut through her arm, just as she had planned. She counter-attacked in an attempt to cut off his sword hand (Or, if he was using it 2 handed, Sword-hands) as it cut through her arm. As far as she was concerned, it was win, win, for her. Either she succeeded in cutting off his hand(s), or he let go of his sword. Either way, she would make him weaponless, giving her the distinct advantage.
Shell didn't realize that there were a few other options given to him, but she had made her point. She didn't care about pain, she had actually come to enjoy it. All she cared about was the thrill of the fight.
sdwdrake
02-22-07, 06:42 PM
Crum smiles with glee as his blade finally sinks into her flesh, and the shower of blood was exhilarating.
Out of the side of Crum’s eye he notices her blade coming towards his outstretched arm.
“Shit.” And Crum makes an attempt to twist his hand out of the blades way, and believes he was successful when he didn’t feel the blade sink into his skin.
Crum throws a punch in retaliation and then jumps a distance back to enjoy the blood that now ran down his blade.
Suddenly Crum feels on his arm something warm, this puzzles him, the blood on the blade had yet to hit the hilt of his sword, then he recognized a smell in the air, it was his own blood.
Crum reaches down slowly and touches the blood, his eyes open wide in anger. (To those nearby it would seem like he was afraid to see himself injured.) ‘How dare this impudent woman strike me’ Crum thinks in anger ‘she will pay’.
Crum feels the anger deep inside of himself as it began to unlock his true form, his half-dragon form.
Crum turns sideways in the hall and lets his dragon wings extend then retract scales now cover his entire body and some vicious claws now grew from his hands.
“You shall die for hurting me, I will rip you to SHREADS!!!!” and charges.
Shell smirked when she saw the transformation occur. This fight was going to become a lot more interesting very soon.
"And here I was thinking they brought me another human mortal... This is going to be so much more fun now that I know otherwise." Shell said as she dodged backwards into one of the rooms, tossing her blood in her charging opponent's eyes in an attempt to blind him.
Shell took to the air and waited for her opponent to follow. The room they were in took on the shape of a valley. Nowhere to hide in a place like this, but more importantly, lots of room to fly.
"HEY!!!! DRAGON!!!! DO THOSE WINGS OF YOURS WORK?" Shell taunted. Her plan was to slice off one of his wings as soon as he got close, sending him plummeting to the hard earth where she would finish him off. The thought that he could do the same to her didn't even occur.
sdwdrake
02-25-07, 12:52 PM
Crum was just able to dodge the blood that she tossed at him and followed her into the room, and responded to her taunt with a feral growl, he knew that she wanted him in close, and he had no plan to give her what she wanted.
Crum goes into a vertical clime to gain a height advantage over her then, once he felt he was high enough he to start to dive-bomb her.
“DIE YOU WENTCH!!!”
Shell couldn't have asked for a better opportunity, as the half-dragon divebombed her, she quickly flew to the left and attempted to use the downward momentum against him by making a quick upward slash to his right wing. This would most likely send him spiraling to the ground giving her the advantage.
sdwdrake
03-01-07, 05:26 PM
Crum smirks when he sees the dodge, he angles his wings slightly so he is facing her and came down with his blade aimed at her head, ‘She will die’ Crum thinks in glee.
Shell couldn't believe it. To be able to not only turn quickly, but also dodge her attack while in the middle of his divebomb made him a truly admirable foe, but now it was her turn to try her luck. She dodged backwards while flying to a higher altitude. The sword had nicked her tail, barely. There was no chance of it bugging her, though. She went in for a divebomb herself, expecting a dodge. She wanted the dodge, actually. As soon as her opponent dodged, she would slice horizontally while passing him. If he counter-attacked, she would attempt to use her tailblade's sharpness and speed, combined with her own speed from the divebomb to cut through his sword.
sdwdrake
03-05-07, 05:58 PM
i think you should check your spelling rofl kslice
Crum watches as she climbs to dive bomb him, that was not going to happen, using the speed he had gained from the dive bomb he pointed himself straight at her, and with his sword at the ready.
“YOU GOT LUCKY BUT NOT THIS TIME!” Crum yells with glee.
Ok. Fixed it.
Shell was about to divebomb her foe when she noticed him pull out his sword. She realized this meant he would counterattack, so she got ready to block his blade with hers (and hopefully cut it in two). She did her own divebomb and swung at his blade in an attempt to to do so.
sdwdrake
03-08-07, 07:15 PM
Crum strikes at her with full strength, knowing that it will be almost impossible for his blade to break. Crum had plans for even if his blade was knocked away he was still going to kill her.
Shell struck the blade with full force, but it remained intact. She just started to laugh.
"You know, we are sort of at a stalemate here. If you wanted to help me get rid of the rest of these filthy humans, I'd let you. Truth be told, though, this battle has been a lot of fun for me, so the choice is yours. Either help me or DIE!!!!"
Shell backed off and landed on the ground in order to give her opponent time to think it over.
sdwdrake
03-13-07, 03:35 PM
Crum smiles at her as he lands across from her.
“This has truly been one of my most fun fights I’ve ever had, and sure I’ll help you. ONCE YOUR DEAD!” and laughs.
“NOW DIE!” and swings at her head.
Shell didn't expect this guy to accept her offer, but it would have been fun for her to chop his head off once she had taken over the Citadel with his help.
"FINE!!! I WON'T GO EASY ON YOU, THOUGH!!!" Shell said as she ducked underneath the blade when it came her way. The blood was still coming out of her arm as she rushed out of the room and into the room next door. This room was filled with trees of varying heights making it nearly impossible to fly. The trees also made it hard to swing weapons around. Shell was hoping the dragon would follow her in and light the forest on fire. She had a plan for that. Shell also had a plan in case he attempted to attack her with his sword. She was going to have the advantage in this terrain for sure, unless the dragon got smart, that is.
sdwdrake
03-24-07, 02:02 PM
Crum watches in annoyance as she runs off.
“I thought she wanted to fight.” and walks after her and enters the forest right after her.
“dam, I hate forests…”and starts punching the nearest tree trying to knock it down.
Shell was surprised to see that the dragon was attacking a tree. She slashed through the tree at the dragon's knee in an attempt to severely handicap him with a sneak attack, but things didn't exactly go the way she planned. The tree fell right on top of her. At first, it looked like she was down for the count, but after a bit she rolled out from underneath the tree and got right back up.
She was all bloodied up, but she still looked like she could continue fighting.
"COME ON!!! BRING IT!!!"
sdwdrake
04-07-07, 09:15 AM
Crum laughs at her, failed attempt at a sneak attack, he had smelled her before she even got close, her bloody stump of an arm is like a beacon for Crum, she can't hide from him.
"You shall die!" and lunges fist first at her, planning to finish this fight with his bare hands.
Shell rolled out of the way, barely dodging the lunging attack. She hadn't had so much fun in a long while. Most people usually just ran away from her or died too quickly for her tastes. The fact that she was losing the battle actually made it fun for her.
"I'm sorry, Mister dragon. Was that aimed at me?" Shell mocked. "You will have to do better than that to take me down. I may be battered and bruised, but I refuse to stop fighting as long as I still live."
Shell got to her 'feet' and took a 'Jab' at her foe, with her tail. She knew there were too many trees around to do her normal slash, but the number of trees was also going to make dodging hard, so she had high hopes for this attack.
"NOW DIE!!!!!!!!!"
sdwdrake
04-16-07, 09:48 AM
Crum grunts as her blade enters his chest, then smiles a feral grin, even as he feels the blade slide deeper into his chest. before it can do any real damage Crum gabs her tail, and laughs.
"You fool." and starts to pull her towards himself.
"NOW try to escape!" and laughs evily.
"Why would I want to run away from you? I am about to win." Shell said with confidence. She still had her blade in the dragon's chest, and while he was pulling her towards himself, Shell was already on the move with her next attack. She twisted her tail with great force, in an attempt to use it like a drill.
The fact was that even if she didn't drill a hole in the dragon's chest, it woul definately open the wound more, and although she could only twist the end of her tail because of him holding onto it while pulling her towards him, it was still enough to do major damage in her eyes.
"Now it is your turn to feel the pain."
sdwdrake
04-18-07, 12:54 PM
Crum grunts in pain as the blade starts to turn in his chest.
"YOU BITCH!" Crum screams as he attempts to get a hold on her throat as to crush the life from her.
"HA LIKE A PATHETIC CREATURE LIKE YOU COULD KILL ME!!" Crum screams in rage, not even feeling the blade in his chest anymore, the only thing he could feel was his rage, and his lust to kill.
Shell was now in a position of power. Despite being battered and bruised, Shell had regained the advantage at last. With the dragon's hands attempting to go for her throat, she now had full use of her tail again. She could see the fire in the eyes of the dragon. He seemed to have become just like her, unfeeling, uncaring, and willing to fight even without any limbs or chance of winning. Though she didn't know it, those were the exact traits that made her such a formidable foe, the exact traits that had kept her alive all these years. She had credited it to skill, but the reality was that plenty of her victems had more skill than her.
She once again twisted her tailblade while it was inside her foe, opening the gash even wider. The wound was really bad at this point, but she was about to make it worse. Shell pushed her blade deeper into the dragon's chest, barely dodging his grabs for her neck. She knew at this point that it would take too much time to open the gash like before, but she didn't feel it was something she needed to do. She had gotten her tailblade quite a ways into her foe's chest by now, so she decided to go for what she was sure would be the decisive blow. With a quick flick of her bladed tail, Shell cut through the dragon's right side, freeing her tail from the dragon's stomach in the process. As her tail came out of the dragon's chest, it grazed the trunks of a few trees, and almost got stuck in one. Almost.
Had Shell recieved the same wound she had given the dragon, She would have kept on fighting, but the wound was big enough to slow even her down, had she been on the recieving end of it.
sdwdrake
04-20-07, 12:57 PM
Crum stumbles as she pulls her blade from his stomach.
"fucken bitch!" he yells, and draws his blade.
Crum knew he was in trouble, the wound was bleeding profusely, and it hurt like hell.
Knowing that the fight was almost over went into a berserker attack knowing he had to kill her quickly or it was all over.
His blade had become a bluring wall of steal, even the trees around him where getting shredded from his ferocious attack.
Shell smiled as she saw how badly she had wounded the dragon. It was only a matter of time before she could take his head home. The problem was that not even she was able to dodge all the slashes sent her way. She dodged the first few with ease. The next 3 slashes hit her dead on in the chest as she accidentally backed into a tree. Shell was unable to ignore the pain any longer"
"You... will... Die..." Shell said, breathing heavily.
She had had enough at this point and she attempted to slice his arm clean off before he had a chance to slash her again. She just needed to get rid of his sword arm, and he would be nearly defenseless.
It would actually be pretty easy to do, considering the fact that it is hard to stop an attack mid-swing, and she was swinging her blade the opposite direction of the sword and the arm connected to it.
"NOW DIE!!!!"
sdwdrake
05-10-07, 04:01 PM
Crum grunts in surprise as he sees her attack coming.
"FUCK!" Crum yells as he cranks his arm as best he can to avoid the worst of her attack, but the effort only worked, he was able to twist enough so that instead of her blade taking his arm, it only went into it deeply.
Crum grunts in pain and reaches up for the blade with his good arm, even as he starts to swing his sword at her with his bad.
"HA you think that will stop me form killing YOU!" Crum laughs uproariously at that.
Crum smirks because he has an idea on how to finish this fight here and now.
"YOU ARE MINE!!" Crum cries in glee.
Shell was unable to believe that she had met someone who could take just as much pain as she could. The possibility that there was ever anyone stronger than her was an inconceavable in her mind, though. She was the best, and she would prove it.
Noting the fact that one of the dragon's arms was almost entirely useless, Shell started moving towards her foe swinging repeatedly at the dragon's other arm.
"WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!?!?!?"
sdwdrake
05-15-07, 03:02 PM
Crum smiles at her.
"Die? NOT UNTIL YOUR DEAD!" Crum cries as he strikes at her with his sword still in his injured arm, and keeping his other just away from her blade.
Suddenly Crum lunges at her, throwing his entire body at her in this attack.
"YOU SHALL DIE FIRST!"
Shell dodged out of the way as the blade went barely missed her. She was unable to see if the sword got stuck in a tree, but there was a good chance that it did. The arm the dragon was using to hold the sword had become outstretched from the lunge. Shell knew that even without his sword, the dragon still had his claws, but she was going to remedy that. As s soon as the outstretched arm wizzed by her, Shell swung her tail at it, hopefully slicing it off. She then went for the dragon's leg, hoping to hinder it's movements. Nobody had ever pushed her this far before, she enjoyed this fight, but it had to end here.
"You can't kill what you can't hit!" Shell mocked.
sdwdrake
06-02-07, 10:20 PM
Crum cries in rage, and is just able to dodge her attack, and receives some shallow cuts instead of loosing his arm and leg, and starts into an attack of his own. Crum glares at her, he knows that if he doesn't finish this fight soon, he will lose.
"Can't hit? WE'LL SEE!" and start to swing as fast as he can, "YOU SHALL DIE HERE AND NOW!!"
Shell had finally had enough. This fight was going to end in someone's favor NOW!!!
"How about we make this interesting, Mister Dragon." Shell said as she charged forwards, letting his attacks hit her. "I wonder, who can take more pain, Me or you."
Shell started slashing mercilessly at her foe, not bothering to block any more ofhis attacks. She was convinced that she could take the pain longer than he could. She refused to let up, even if it meant her death.
sdwdrake
06-04-07, 02:33 PM
Crum laughs "Yes lets see!" and starts to swing as fast and hard as he can as to kill her first, and shrugging off most of her blows and just going into a frenzy.
Crum quickly realizes that very soon one or both of them shall fall.
"YOUR MINE!!!" Crum screamers at her as he swings at her head, trying to lop off her head.
Shell saw the attack coming but didn't bother to dodge it. It was too predictable of a move to attempt to dodge it, instead she attempted to take his head first. It seemed impossible for him to pull out of his attack now, so Shell took action.
Shell swung her tailblade straight at her foe's neck. She saw blood pass in front of her eyes. Lots of it. Was any of it the dragon's? It was impossible to tell if it was as she collapsed in a heap.
sdwdrake
06-05-07, 02:26 PM
Crum looks in triumph as he sees his opponent fall to the ground, and tries to laugh in triumph, but all that came out of his mouth was a spray of blood.
'Shit' Crum thinks as he starts to fall to the ground, 'that bitch.' and collapses.
Shell woke up an hour later. She had been completely healed. The Citadel was always doing that. It was annoying. Whatever happened to keeping scars as trophies after battle? Her arm had been healed to the point where noone would believe her if she told them it had been cut off. Her neck was not even hurting the tiniest bit. What Shell didn't realize until just now was that she had no idea where she was.
"Why the FUCK am I here?" Shell yelled out in frustration
"You needed healing beyond what the citadel could provide. Honestly, there seem to be way to many deaths from that place these days" The closest nurse replied.
"HEALING?!?!? THAT WAS JUST A FLESH WOUND!!!!!!!"
"You and your opponent would both be dead if it weren't for us."
"YOU just signed your death warrent by reviving him!!!!" That being said, Shell slashed the woman's head off and smiled.
She had finally found a challenging opponent. Now she just needed to find a place where she could permanently kill him. Shell flew out the window in order to find that place.
"YO, DRAGON. IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, I THINK I JUST FOUND THE PERFECT SPOT TO KILL YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!! YOU INTERESTED? THEN FOLLOW ME."
This is my last post here. Post one more time and I will submit this. Thanks for the battle.
sdwdrake
06-09-07, 09:02 AM
Crum had just woke up when he heard her yell to him. he was in his human form.
"That bitch."
a nearby nurse gave him a profoundly confused look.
Crum smirks even as he stands up and with a quick twist gave her head a full 360 degree turn.
"Now i will make you stay dead." Crum went half-dragon and took off after her.
Massacre
06-11-07, 10:01 AM
And here's the judgement, swsdrake's scores are in red and Shell's scores are in white.
Story:
Continuity: What I gathered was that both of your characters just happened to be in the Citadel for the simple reason they wanted to fight. Perhaps just a little blurb about how they got there, even, would be nice. Also, your characters, being level 0 lasted an awfully long time wounded, there's more on this later, in the action category.
I don't see a dragon doing a dive bomb like a kamikaze pilot in the Citadel.
2/2
Setting: I knew it was in the Citadel, that was it. Both of you need to begin to describe the surroundings and how you interact with those you describe. While it may not seem important to you while battling, it most certainly is, if not more important than in a quest. Neither of you showed me anything about the Citadel, it could just be a large, square room or a small circular room for all I know.
1/1
Pacing: This quite simply, was a long drawn out battle. There was nothing terribly interesting about what either of you wrote. Remember, when you're battling with someone, you need to be articulate and show the reader the action you're writing about. This battle seemed long and unnecessarily long, I found myself getting bored of it halfway through.
2/2
Character:
Dialogue: Where to begin? First off, the dialogue did fit the attitude your characters had, but it was monotonous and got a little old after so many insults telling each other that they would be slain. If you insist on putting dialogue in a fight, you should at least try to make it fun and fresh. I felt like there was little effort in this category from the both of you. Also, never, ever repeat another person's dialogue. It's unnecessary unless it serves a good, hard purpose much later on, and even then, I wouldn't advise it.
1/1
Action: Quite simply, I don't think that you should even receive the score you'll be receiving here but I'm hesitant to give any lower because at least you made the effort. When your characters get their limbs sliced clean off the loss of blood surely must slow them down and make them tired, there would be so much blood that you couldn't possibly last for very long. Along with the "many slashes" and "quick slashes," you've barely attained the score that I'm giving for this category.
1/1
Persona: Your characters are angry brutes and it's rather boring to read about constantly. You should try to spice up your characters a bit, there are a lot of ways that can be achieved and I saw almost none of them. If you would like specific suggestions, feel free to send me a PM.
2/2
Writing Style:
Mechanics: Here, swsdrake shone a little more. Quite often, there were spelling mistakes and no use of apostrophes, commas, and sometimes even periods by both of you. Let me say this, as well.
All capital letters and 5 exclamation marks doesn't make anything more exciting, it's annoying to read! Most of your errors would be fixed by just quickly copying and pasting your post into Word very quickly, which would take about ten seconds out of your life! Also, re-read your posts, make sure that your sentences make sense!
2/1
Technique: Quite simply, I saw nothing special in this thread, just the two of you wanting to win ICly. Let me add this here, never, ever use parentheses in creative writing unless you absolute have to. They make commas for that.
0/0
Clarity: Your words were clear enough to get what was going on but the actions they were describing were bland, boring, and quite frankly - generic.
1/1
Wild Card: I saw nothing special and nothing new, for reading the judgement (assuming you did), I'll give you both a bit more.
3/3
Let me end saying this, if you spent even 10 to 15 more minutes on your posts, I think your quality would improve greatly.
Final scores: 15/14
swsdrake wins the battle!
swsdrake gains 350 EXP and 90 gold!
Shell gains 150 EXP and 100 gold, as consolation!
Congratulations!
Cyrus the virus
06-11-07, 10:33 AM
EXP and gold added!
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