Everybody Knows. . .

[Koran]

Shit Happens!

TAOISM - "if you understand shit, it isn't shit'
HINDUISM - "this shit happened before"
CONFUCIANISM - "confucious say 'shit happens'"
BUDDHISM - "shit will happen to you again"
ZEN - "what is the sound of shit happening?"
ISLAM - "if shit happens it is the will of Allah"
SIKHISM - "leave our shit alone"
JEHOVA'S WITNESS - "knock knock. shit happens"
ATHEISM - "i don't believe this shit"
AGNOSTICISM - "can you prove that shit happens?"
CATHOLICISM - "if shit happens, you deserve it"
PROTESTANTISM - "shit happens, amen to that"
JUDAISM - "why does shit always happen to us?"
ORTHODOX JUDAISM - "so shit happens, already"
TELEVANGELISM - "send money or shit will happen to you"
RASTAFARIANISM - "let's smoke this shit"
HARE KRISHNA - "shit happens rama rama"
NATION OF ISLAM - "don't take no shit"
NEW AGE - "visualise shit happening"
SHINTOISM - "you inherit the shit of your ancestors"
HEDONISM - "i love it when shit happens"
SATANISM - "sneppah tihs"
CAPITALISM - "this is MY shit"
FEMINISM - "men are shit"
EXISTENTIALISM - "what is shit, anyway?"
SCIENTOLOGY - "if shit happens, see Dianetics p.137"
MORMONISM - "excrement happens" (don't say shit)
BAPTISM - "we'll wash the shit right off you"
MYSTICISM - "this is really weird shit"
VOODOO - "shit doesn't just happen - we made it happen"
DISNEYISM - "bad shit doesn't happen here"
WICCA - "you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times"
COMMUNISM - "let's share the shit"
MARXISM - "you have nothing to lose but your shit"
CONSPIRACY THEORISM - "THEY shit on us!"
PSYCHO-ANALYSIS - "tell me about your shit"
DARWINISM - "survival of the shittiest"
AMISH - "modern shit is useless"
SUICIDAL - "i've had enough of this shit"
OPTIMISM - "shit won't happen to me"
TREKISM - "to boldy shit where no-one has shit before"
SHAKESPEAREAN - "to shit or not to shit, that is the question"
DESCARTES - i shit therefore i am"
FREUD - "shit is phallic symbol"
LAWYERS - "for enough money, I can get you out of shit"
ACUPUNCTURIST - "hold still or this will hurt like shit"
DOG - "i just shit in your shoe"
CAT - "dogs are shit"
MOUSE - "oh shit! a cat!"
POLITICALLY CORRECT - 'internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens"
EINSTEIN - "shit is relative"
FAMILY GATHERING - "relatives are shit"
MATERIALSIM - "whoever dies with the most shit, wins"
VEGETARIANISM - "if it happens to shit, don't eat it"
FATALISM - "oh shit, it's going to happen"
ENVIRONMENTALISM - "shit is biodegradeable"
AMERICANISM - "who gives a shit?"
STATISTICIAN - "shit is 84.7% likely to happen"
HIP-HOP - "motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!"
TANTRISM - "fuck this shit"
CYNICISM - "we are full of shit"
SURREALISM - "fish happens"

The ever expanding world of 'shit' -

EPICURENISM - "keep shit in moderate amounts"
DRUIDISM KARUKA STYLE - "i can tell you shit"
SKEPTICISM - "is this shit for real?"
THEOLOGIAN - "how'd this shit get here?"
MENSA - "everyone else has shit for brains"
DETECTIVES - "did you do this shit?"
TRAITORS - "you should see the shit we got planned..."
MAIDS - "i'll clean your shit up"
REPAIRMEN - "let's fix this shit"
DUALISM - "i could give two shits"
EQUESTRIANS - "this is horse shit"
FLY FISHERMEN - "we're knee deep in this shit and still ain't catching shit"
INGRATITUDE - "you haven't done shit for me"
AC REPAIRMEN: "the shit always hits the fan..."




If you've already seen or read this or heard of this, I quote "'who gives a shit?'"

:)

[hamnat]

OMGWTFBBQ!!!! :P

Biggest laugh I've gotten in a while....despite the profane nature of the humor...

[Atzar]

aww, c'mon... profanity is awesome.

[Zook Murnig]

I had a good chortle at the Satanic one.

[Reiko]

hey my religion's first on the list^^

[Elrundir]

Arrrgh, I saw this on a t-shirt in North Bay and I wanted to buy it but I didn't have any money on me. >_<

[Artifex Felicis]

That post must have taken a while... but gawddamn it is funny.

Also, to add one that I want to be up there.

EPICURENISM - "Keep Shit in moderate amounts."

[AdventWings]

*Tries his best not to burst out laughing like a maniac while at an Internet Cafe*

Oh~ boy. Some of these actually made perfect sense (i.e., "this shit happened before" and "shit is relative) and some that are hilariously ingenious. XD

Oh, well... I guess I'd better get some sleep before I konk out from lack of...

*Falls flat on the keyboard in the middle of his train of though.*

[hamnat]

aww...the plushy kitty's tired...bed time for you, mister!*picks up plushy and carries it off to bed* good night, Raven-plushy!

[Atzar]

Except it's morning there.

[Karuka]

Druidism Karuka style: I can tell you shit.

[Koran]

I've only seen this stuff in poster form, which is where I got it all from. Just bought the thing and felt the sudden tickle to share it with everyone. So far, so good. :p

[AdventWings]

@ Hamnat - Atzar's correct on the time difference... It is indeed morning where I am... Or rather... pretty late in the morning and is too late in the morning for a healthy day's rest.

The glaring sunlight just won't do... Oy. :p

*Yawns*

OK! Back to work!

Ravenism: Whatever happens in life, shit will always get in your way. Thus, the invention of the Poopa-Scoopa. :D

EDIT: You know what? I just realized it's almost noon where I am... Talk about pulling a 25-hour day schedule...

*Slumps over in his chair*

NeNeNe: EYA~! Don't sleep on me, Raven~!!!

[Lady Anais]

Lest we forget:

SKEPTICISM - Is this shit for real?
THEOLOGIAN - How'd this shit get here?
MENSA - Everyone else has shit for brains.
DETECTIVES - Did you do this shit?
TRAITORS - You should see the shit we got planned...
MAIDS - I'll clean your shit up.
REPAIRMEN - Let's fix this shit.
DUALISM - I could give two shits.
EQUESTRIANS - This is horse shit.
FLY FISHERMEN - We're knee deep in this shit and still ain't catching shit.
INGRATITUDE - You haven't done shit for me.

[Zook Murnig]

AC REPAIRMEN: The shit always hits the fan...

[hamnat]

Shenjara-ism: Burning **** is fun. *glances over* hey! You think you can give me ****? Well, burn like ****, ****head!(O_o so profane....so very profane....*twitch, twitch*)

Dragons and eccentric rich person-ism: *notices a possession moved just a tiny bit* Who moved my ****?

[offtopic] Aww...kitties are so cute when they're sleeping. *turns raven into non-humanoid cat* You can sleep on my couch if you want. Just try to avoid my other kitty...she's very territorial.