Treasure hunter

[Darkarcher]

((Now Closed))

It was a nearly perfect day out on the sea, warm humid day with a nice gentle spring breeze carrying the smells of war of the land behind shadow. “Aww! Man why is it so damn hot out here that breeze may be nice but with this leather on it does nothing.” He started thinking as he took off his leather outfit and cape.

“Hey! I just got a bright idea why don’t I use my cape as a sail for faster movement across this godforsaken lake.” He started saying out loud as he stripped down to his undergarments and put his cape up on a piece of wood sticking up from his raft.

“Ahh that should do for now a little shade and faster movement maybe it could be a brief change from the cloud less ness ever since I left. I swear I’m cursed for good weather at sea.” He said somewhat angrily as he turned over in the shade and fell asleep

Several hours later…

“ Ahhhhhh! Man that killed the back man I need to remember not to sleep on log rafts” He complained as he turned over and looked up at the Dark black storm clouds with the wind picking up. “Finally some more relief from that sun.”

The wind started picking up and blowing madly water splashing over the log raft making little wholes in between the logs where the bark is falling apart. “SHIT! Man whats up with this first I beg for a bit of relief then I am about to drown what the hell.” He said as water splashed over and started washing his leather armor off the raft

“shit!” shadow screamed as he lunged for his armor catching it at the last second “phew! That was close, I think I might get dressed so I don’t lose my drawers next”

As shadow finished getting dressed a large wave came cascading over the side of the raft knocking shadow into the water.

[Cyrus the virus]

Luc Kraus was watching the sky on that fateful day, taking note of how the clouds moved in the wind. Rain was coming, that much was obvious, but the mage didn't like how dark the clouds were. Perhaps a thunderstorm was brewing, which meant he would have to get to shelter soon, or at the least, make a shelter.

He had been taking a casual stroll from Radasanth to a small village called Pollock, where the beef was better and the ale was fresher, but it seemed his plans would have to change. Luc was just coming to a lake between the two towns when he spotted the raft in the distance, thrashing in the heavy winds that had picked up.

What is he doing out there? He wondered. Nobody sails a lake with the skies promising rain like this. He's going to get himself killed.

That, of course, was of no consequence to Luc Kraus. The man had been foolish enough to set sail on a cloudy day, and so he would pay for his foolishness. The circle of life, the way of nature, etc etc. He was beginning to turn about and make his way back to Radasanth when the wind picked up and brought a wave splashing against the raft, knocking the man into the water. The raft itself fell apart only a split-second afterward, casting logs about the water.

A crashing thunder echoed across the lake and into Luc's ears, the loudest thunder he could ever remember hearing, and the rain began to come down, heavy. So heavy, in fact, that seeing only twenty feet beyond where he stood was difficult. It even hurt the top of his head and his shoulders.

He wanted so much to simply Windwalk back to Radasanth, but a change of heart made him stay. "Damn my heart and its foolishness," he mumbled, leaping high into the air and soaring over the waters of the lake.

He couldn't recall where the man had been, and no signs of his raft were present. With the rain pummeling the water his vision was further hindered, but Luc still had some hope. He used his sense of magic to search through the water, beckoning the powerful elements to aid him in locating the man. Then suddenly, not too far from where he flew, he spotted the thrashing man.

Luc swooped low to get above the man, and then lowered himself just enough to grasp at his flailing limbs. The mage struggled to get him as waves continued to wash over the man's head, but Luc's tenacious resolve eventually resulted in him finally grasping his hand.

Without a moment's hesitation, Luc used his Windwalk spell to turn them both into air. They whisked through the sky like beams of focused light, and came back into solid form in Radasanth, literally a second after the spell had been cast. They fell into the main road, and Luc slowly brought the man to a healer.

"He was drowning," Luc panted as he barged through the door. "Do make sure he lives."

((Bunnying, however slight, was approved :p))

[Darkarcher]

As Shadow was struggling to survive in the thrashing waters as a human mage swept in overhead and stuck in his hand out motioning to grab his hand. The man looked as though he was small or just below average height and seemed to be of a smaller built then usual human males as well he had normal human males hair but this was a bit different it was a nice brown and he had green eyes and a little boyish face. He was wearing a green tunic with black trim and arcane designs etched into the stitching, his pants seemed to be of the same design too, he wore a dark green cape that matched his outfit and a nice black velvet belt with scaled gloves. Shadow reached for his hand and was brought under the water from a fierce wave over his head. He leapt and got a hold of the mans hands and was almost spontaneously swept to Radasanth.

The man said at once when he was in a hospital "He was drowning. Do make sure he lives."

“I wonder why that man saved me?” shadow thought, “ Excuse me, Sir may I ask u your name and why you saved me?” Shadow was panting after his endeavor in the lake and was looking at the man very gratefully.

[Cyrus the virus]

The healer, a middle-aged man with dark hair and eyes, was rushing over as the man Luc saved spoke. The mage had been on his way out of the building, but stopped for just long enough to turn around and respond. "My name is Luc Kraus. I felt saving you was the fair thing to do, considering that you're a bulky idiot and probably didn't know any better. I won't be around next time, so try to pay attention to the sky before you sail."

"Idiot," he repeated as he left the healer's place of business.

Though the rain was heavy, Luc could not deny the beauty of it. The sound of water against mud, stone and wood was soothing, much more so than the typical screams and general noise of the people when Radasanth had a clear sky. It sort of made him seem isolated, alone in a grey world without color.

And yet it was beautiful.

He was already soaking from the lake rescue, so Luc didn't make an effort to block the rain from hitting him as he walked down Radasanth's main road. Typically a place of business and bustle, it was odd to see it so empty. There were abandoned stalls where merchants could usually be seen peddling, and some had even collapsed from the wind.

"It looks like I'll have to wait another day to go to Pollock. Because of that fool, I may not Windwalk for some time, and I dare not fly in this rain," he mumbled.

[Darkarcher]

"My name is Luc Kraus. I felt saving you was the fair thing to do, considering that you're a bulky idiot and probably didn't know any better. I won't be around next time, so try to pay attention to the sky before you sail." The guy responded

”Well, Luc you insulted my dignity lets see how powerful a mage you really are . oh and I need to find out where I am.” shadow stated as the healer gave him a couple mashed up herbs mixed in water. “Thank You, I got to go.”

As sadow walked out the front door of the little healers area he saw that it was poetic beuty that almost no words could explain. the rain was beuty in it self coming down and shadowing all and blanketing all with its wetness. then there was the unusual colour of radasanth itself it no longer was the chalky orange/brown that it normally was but instead it was flat mat grey.

"wow i haven't seen a storm this beutiful since when i was little before i was sent off to school by my parents." shadow thought to himself after a bit.

He say a dark figure marching down the main road way there and so shadow thought it was luc so he follwed him down the road way.

All the shops were closed and people had obviously gone inside to shelter themselves from the rain." i wonder when i can get headed to pollock this storm has put me back at least a day for that treasure that's in pollock and i need to get there before that other guy does so i might go get that luc guy and see if he can help me get there faster and i will split it seventy - forty hmm."

"hey luc i have a question for you well actually two u can answer me one by surviving THIS!! shadow said as he threw a concentrated waterball at the back of lucs head.

[Cyrus the virus]

He had decided he would make the walk to Pollock anyway, seeing as he was already soaked. The meal waiting there would be worth it, and something about the rain was soothing. He could gather his thoughts and focus for a while, maybe even determine where his next destination should be. Luc didn't get far before his thoughts were interrupted.

The man, the one who was drowning, was attacking him. It seemed inexplicable to the mage, considering he had just saved the man from sure death. A fine way to repay someone, Luc thought as he spun around. The water ball was coming fast, but if there was one thing the mage could handle easily, it was an elemental attack.

The ball stopped in mid air, several feet from Luc. It barely took any of his concentration to stop and control it, as the ball slowly floated into the air and expanded. "Is this a suitable answer for you? What did you want to ask? Are you strong enough to handle this, or something even more stupid?"

With a disgusted gesture from Luc, the ball exploded and joined the rest of the falling water, descending harmlessly onto the mud. "Humor me," he continued. "What's your other question?"

[Darkarcher]

As Shadow watched the waterball expanded right infront of luc max heard him say "Humor me, What's your other question?"

"Well,"Shadow continued "I was only testing you to see if u were worth the knowledge i am going to give you and ask for your help"

Max thought about this "Should i really tell him about the treasure or should just ask him to escort me to pollock cause he could be going anywhere."

"Ok, i am hunting down the la libre dat habita treasure. It is not very known but it has some very good riches for us if u would be so willing as to escort me to pollock if not then you are out of luck and out of money." Max said as he tried to cocentrate but it was just getting harder and harder.

The world just kept spinning and just at the last moment he heard a low whispering elven voice in his head Concentrate on your magic and thats all you need to do.

All the colours shadow had ever seen were rushing in to his eyes and when the mixed making black Shadow thought this was it he would be knocked out from not listening again. then he remembered the message and he concentrated on his magic. He felt all his abilities come out one after another.

A bright fireball appeared in shadows hand then disappeared, a lightning ball appeared in his hand and sparked all the water around him then disappeared, a nice dark blue waterball appeared in shadow's hand then disappeared again. One Dark Brown rock shield thrust up from the ground and then fell apart and disappeared from where it came.

Max fell over exhausted and passed out.

[Cyrus the virus]

Luc would have laughed at the man's test, were he in any mood for humor. Instead he was annoyed. Once again, this man was hindering him from carrying on with his life. It was almost enough to make the mage want to kill him, but Luc could never fault an idiot. They were born stupid, after all.

"What makes you think your treasure is of any concern to me? If I wanted to, I could get treasure from many different places. I have no need for gol-" he was saying, but was interrupted as Shadow went through a variety of different motions, creating some minor elemental objects before falling lifelessly to the ground.

The mage stayed where he was for a few moments, watching the motionless body of the huge man getting rained upon. Was a second rescue in order? Luc wasn't sure he should bother to save the man from drowning in the mud. Leaving him be would certainly save the mage from future headaches.

The man seemed young, though, despite his height. It seemed a shame to let a young man die in such an embarassing manner. Reluctantly, Luc had the ground lift the man up on a makeshift platform, carrying the heavy man along the mage's side as he made his way back to the doctor's.

"Again?" The healer asked as Luc reentered the building, followed closely by the listless body atop a platform of mud.

"Sorry to track mud into your place of business," Luc muttered. "He collapsed suddenly, after going through what looked like a seizure of magic."

Shadow was placed on the bed. The healer and Luc did not communicate any more as the mage went to a nearby chair to wait. Shadow was obviously having some difficulty controlling his magic, and Luc knew that kind of feeling as well as anyone. Perhaps he could help, and perhaps he could keep the tall human as quiet as possible as he did so.

When it looked like Shadow was waking up, Luc spoke. "Two times I've saved your life, and you've done nothing but attack me with simple water tricks. You should be bursting with gratitude right about now."

[Darkarcher]

As max woke up he heard “Two times I've saved your life, and you've done nothing but attack me with simple water tricks. You should be bursting with gratitude right about now."

“Magic…need…help!” Shadow mumbled

“FATHER!” Shadow screamed as he tried to get up out of bed but hunched over in pain as if someone stabbed him in the abdomen. As he was hunched over he still tried to move but was somehow lifted up and placed down on the bed again.

“What the heck let me go?” Shadow said as he struggled very violently to get out of the bed.
The angrier he got the more he lost control of his magic. A fireball had appeared in his hands as max started to laugh psychotically, the fireball started engulfing his whole entire arm slowly creeping its way up. When it reached his shoulder he stopped laughing the fire went out and he was out cold again.

While Shadow was out he dreamt. Shadow dreamt in he was a beautiful garden surrounded by beautiful lady’s “Well hello ladies” Shadow said as he went to approach one of them all of a sudden everything disappeared and he saw his father engaged in battle and was losing badly.

“FATHER!” Shadow screamed as he slept.

[Cyrus the virus]

"What's wrong with him?" Luc asked of the doctor when Shadow appeared to wake a little, only to fall back into his trance. The mage had experienced times when he was not in total control of his powers, but nothing like what was happening to Shadow.

When the flames climbed the large man's arm, the doctor turned to Luc desperately. "I ask you the same! I've never seen something like this!"

Shadow screamed in his sleep, loudly enough to make Luc block his ears. The mage came close and shook the man as hard as his tiny frame could, which wasn't much considering the other man's build. "Wake up!" Luc called. "Grip your magic and control it, don't let it dominate you! The magic is yours, it doesn't control you!"

Suddenly he cared. Luc, too, had once had little control over his magic and experienced terrible pains in learning to control it. Perhaps this man simply needed a mentor to help mold him into a mage. It seemed like the least he could do was try, though noone had done the same for him.

[Darkarcher]

As Shadow was dreaming about the la libre dat habita treasure he felt himself being shoken however slight it could have been a muscle spasm but for some reason there was a voice behind it.

"Grip your magic and control it, don't let it dominate you! The magic is yours, it doesn't control you!" Luc exclaimed as Shadow woke up. Shadow didn’t recognize anything not even the small man standing over him or the doc in the corner of the room. The room was different it was as if he was here before these plain gray stone walls were basically everywhere but just seemed to stand out a bit more in this building then anywhere else. There were also four or five white beds all lined up one wall with eight to twelve on the other wall.

The man above him The man looked as though he was small or just below average height and seemed to be of a smaller built then usual human males as well he had normal human males hair but this was a bit different it was a nice brown and he had green eyes and a little boyish face. He was wearing a green tunic with black trim and arcane designs etched into the stitching, his pants seemed to be of the same design too, he wore a dark green cape that matched his outfit and a nice black velvet belt with scaled gloves.

Shadow started shivering at the site of this man he just looked somewhat scary.

“Get away from me!” Shadow screamed as he scrambled away and out of the door into the pouring down rain. He looked back towards the doctors building and then took off again towards Pollock.

[Cyrus the virus]

Luc tried to hold the big man down as he thrashed, but when Shadow wanted to move, it quickly became obvious that a man as small as Luc could not hope to restrain him. Shadow knocked the mage back in his effort to escape the building, nearly hitting him in the nose with an elbow as he did.

"He needs help! Catch him!" The doctor said, but Luc was already rushing out of the office to catch up with Shadow.

The rain hadn't let up one bit, Luc noted with no enthusiasm. He looked down the road to see the huge man pounding down. He was going in the direction Pollock was in, and seemed rather adamant about getting there. "Is he after that treasure he kept babbling about?"

Whatever it was, Luc had to catch him. His magic was out of control, influencing him far too much. Luc had once had to fight against the elements for control over his own body, as they assaulted him from various planes of existence. The experience was painful and horrible, and one that Luc felt nobody should have to deal with.

The ground below broke apart and created a platform for the mage, who also used his abilities to harden the mud into rock again. Quickly he flew off after Shadow, who was still going fast enough to keep his distance. "Dammit," Luc cursed, noticing that he wasn't going much faster than Shadow.

On top of that, Luc wouldn't be able to travel this way once they reached the forest. He only hoped that Shadow would need to slow as well, once they were among the trees.

[Darkarcher]

As shadow reached the tree’s he slowed down only a little bit. Weaving in and out of trees was pretty hard for the man his size but he was making very good time for once in his life. Shadow weaved around one tree only to see another right in front of him so he took a sharp left and tripped on a root of a tree. “Stupid Tree!” Max screamed as his magic once again controlled him and sent flames lashing out of his hands only ten feet but it was enough to burn down ten tree’s in his way.

Just before Shadow hit the ground a platform of ground just roughly his size floated up to about three feet from the ground and floated out over and around all tree’s and obstacles in his way.

“Father…I…am…coming!” Max screamed as he jumped off his platform and ran full speed towards the temple and ran past the little floating platform of rock.

Shadow reached the temple and Passed out of exhaustion and magic drainage.

[Cyrus the virus]

Luc hit the ground running, the platform of dirt exploding into bits of soil as he reached the treeline. He darted through the forest, dodging trees as they came before him, but he was nowhere near as fast as Shadow, nor as able to dodge the trees so nimbly. A roaring sound came from ahead of him, and a bright flash caught Luc's attention. As he reached the part of the forest where Shadow had released his fire magic, Luc had to stop and put forth the effort to douse the flames, extinguishing them with a few hand gestures.

Thankfully, he hadn't been far enough behind that the flames could spill out and set the entire area ablaze. "His magic is running wild," Luc muttered as he continued the pursuit, breathing heavy but forcing himself along.

Eventually he came to the entrance of a temple, a massive construct of yellow bricks and ancient stone. Shadow was asprawl by the steps leading up the grand, cavernous entryway. Luc went to him quickly and leaned by his side, he could sense the chaotic magic within the huge man, but wasn't sure if he could do anything to help.

But he tried anyway, using his hold over the elements to try and calm the raging magic inside the man. He only hoped Shadow could fight himself back into consciousness. The rain was dying down, but Shadow's rage was not.

[Darkarcher]

Shadow tossed and turned around in his horrible dark uncomfortable slumber. What Luc and Shadow didn’t know was that this treasure was directly related to his magic problems. The la libre dat habita treasure was actually his father’s head accompanied by his sword and his armor. This all was worth very much to shadow and of course it was emotional to think about it. The more he that about it the more age built up inside of him is making his magic all that more uncontrollable.

“Shadow I am here to help you with your magic problems. Your mother was never there to help you with your magic you had to figure out on your own. You have done very well but I think you should listen to this Luc Kraus that is trying to help you.” Came a voice that was very familiar that Shadow knew right away.

“FATHER! I am here to listen can you help me I know you are not a mage but I need your help!” Shadow yelled while sleeping.

“Son, you have to listen to me. Listen to Luc Kraus he can help you better then I can just do what you have to do and you will be alright it is your destiny.” His father replied

“Luc I am sorry for the way I have acted I am here and ready for you to help me if you are willing to except a young fool’s apology.” Shadow said as he struggled to get up and went on one knee to apologize.

[Cyrus the virus]

Shadow seemed to struggled with himself, or perhaps some force that had plagued him. It was very confusing to Luc as he watched on, but he smiled as the man came to and apologized, seeming to once again be in control of himself and his power.

"It's alright," Luc responded quietly as he, too, rose. On his feet and with Shadow conscious again, Luc examined the temple's appearance more carefully, noting several gargoyle-like structures at the summit of the stairs, on either side of the massive entrance. Symbols were carved into most of the stones, strange sun-like designs and stars.

"Do you think there is a reason why you came here?" He asked suddenly, turning to look at the huge man. "Were you drawn by some force? Or maybe..." he wondered. "...Is this where the treasure lies?"

[Darkarcher]

Shadow felt as though there was something missing in him almost as though he had no magic or couldn’t use it. Shadow remembered this feeling well it happened when he was a kid learning the ways of magic in school. Shadow remembered Luc was there and asked him about the treasure.

“Well Luc I would like to tell you about the treasure I was going to ask you if you knew anything about it after I ate. Anyways the treasure is inside this temple, and it really isn’t a temple it is infact my father’s tomb. This treasure is his head his Steel long sword and full body Steel platemail. I want this stuff even though it isn’t worth much because of its sentimental value to me.” Shadow explained, “I don’t expect you to understand but I am going to go for it. Oh! And just so u know there are myths that those gargoyles up there come alive and attack anyone that try’s to enter.”

Shadow got up and moved towards a punch of old dry twigs on the ground and tried to use his magic on them to start a fire. Shadow tried with all his might to summon a fireball but nothing happened, when Shadow tried so hard he started sweating and shaking profusely.

[Cyrus the virus]

Luc absorbed the information, shocked at learned what the treasure was. He even observed as Shadow tried to use his magic, and was seemingly unable to do so. The threat of the gargoyles was something Luc took seriously, but Shadow's apparent loss of his magic was also troubling.

"Try to think of something that makes you angry," Luc suggested. "If you want to make fire, sometimes being fueled by the same emotion fire represents will help. Think of something that happened to you that just makes you furious, and use that anger to aim and focus your magic."

Hoping the suggestion would help, Luc stood back and let Shadow think about it a bit. His eyes drifted up to the four gargoyle statues above, realizing that they were quite lifelike. Protective magic wasn't uncommon in places like this, and the enchantment might explain why this temple was home to the treasure.

At any rate, Luc was quickly learning that Shadow was haunted by some old memories. He only hoped he could help in some way.

[Darkarcher]

Shadow listened to Luc and thought of something that made him angry. This had ignited some long last hatred for some of his father’s comrades. They had token away Shadows mother and had beaten her to death. Shadow could just visualize it as red hot anger started burning inside of him. Then he remembered this was supposed to be fire for their comfort while shadow got better. He started focusing all this built up rage into a single fireball. Shadow opened his eyes to see a fireball three times the size of his fist and was amazed at what he saw and lost focus. The fireball launched from shadow’s palm towards the ground where the twigs were. When the fireball hit the ground it exploded and set Shadow flying back.

“Holy crap! That was awesome” Shadow said in the midst of laughing looking over at the mini fire he had just caused. “Hey Luc you see that I did it.”

[Cyrus the virus]

Luc watched intently as Shadow summoned his anger and created flames. The power deep within the fire was strong, surprisingly so, and Luc vaguely recalled his own fire being weaker than Shadow's when he was first starting with his magic. Of course, Luc was just a child then, but a prodigy. Shadow's potential was great, the mage knew, for even a soaked plant could not withstand the fire.

"Good work," Luc replied with a deep, relieved sigh. He held out his hand to the flames and fizzled them, to prevent it from spreading. "I think there's only one more thing for you to do now," he said, looking to the temple's entrance.

"I don't think I should go in with you, Shadow. This is your test, I suppose. If you need help, call for me, but unless I hear you, I'll be waiting outside for you to come back."

Luc extended his hand, but not to shake with Shadow. Using the moisture in the air around him, Luc created a puddle of water below his hand, which then rose into his hand and formed into a sword. With a bright flash, the water became ice, and a sword of frost was formed in his hand.

The mage held the sword out vertically for Shadow to take, smacking it against the ground before he did so. "This sword is as strong as Delyn, but it won't last forever. Perhaps it'll be around for a half hour, maybe longer. If you need it in there, it won't let you down.

Be careful."

[Darkarcher]

“Cool! A sword I have never used one I usually use my staff.” Shadow said as he went to grab his staff but noticed it wasn’t there. “Man I must have lost it in the water.”

Shadow reached out and grabbed the sword. It was really cold on Shadow’s bare hand but Shadow didn’t mind. The coldness was least of his worries right now he realized he had no idea how to block with his sword or wield it for that matter.

“Sword wielding is only child’s play my son I used one for several years of my life. I would advise you to practice before you go inside where I will be waiting for you.” Came a voice out of nowhere when Shadow started twirling the blade around.

“Hey this is actually quite fun. I can’t wait to actually fight with it.” Shadow said then paused looking at Luc then to the sword. “Luc do you think you could … Ahh never mind.”

Shadow grabbed the sword in a tighter grip then he had before and walked towards the temple hoping he could get through without waking the gargoyles that would be one ferocious battle on their hands.”

“Son, I am son of Khalksroth, demon lord of shadow. I am Lemaz, demon lord of war. I am royal blood and so are you from here on in I don’t need you and you don’t need Luc Kraus we don’t need anybody but ourselves!” Shadows father said.

“Father! Don’t say that I owe Luc a lot he saved my life twice you can’t say that I don’t need him anymore You may be an almighty lord But for heck’s sake your dead and I’m alive so buzz off!” Shadow screamed into thin air. “Sorry Luc but I have to go in there alone and don’t come in at all not even if I am not out in a couple hours.”

Shadow said as he marched towards the entrance to the stone corridor and walked quietly but quickly past the gargoyles as to not raise an alarm. There was only one room in the temple it was almost exactly like any stone dungeon dark moist but the only thing was there was absolutely no mould or weird funky smell at all. In the middle of the room was a single casket in the middle. The casket was white marble with gold trim and a painting of a swordsman fighting an army.

There was a single latch and handle as to open the casket with. When Shadow opened the casket there was no body in there at all. All there was, was a suit of armor full steel platemail with a steel helm and a steel long sword lying across the breast piece of the platemail.

“Well I guess I don’t need this anymore.” Shadow thought as he threw the ice sword Luc gave him over his shoulder towards the entrance but what shadow didn’t know was it had hit the trap that awakened the gargoyles.

“Father I’m sorry but I will need to be taking this stuff away from you.” Shadow said as he started dressing up in his father’s old equipment with a smirk on his face.

”Son it’s time for you to learn a lesson that you are truly Shadow Demon lord of elements.” Lemaz said

Shadow just thought as he pulled on the last boot of his armor ”How are you going to show me I am truly a demon lord? at that precise moment a burning rage ignited within Shadow so strong it actually felt like shadow was on fire.

“Ahh! No stop this father!” shadow screamed as his voice started turning more and more diabolic and his muscles grew and grew into proper demon sized muscles. Shadow’s strength increased dramatically as his transformation was complete and he sheathed his sword at his sides.

Shadow walked out towards the doorway out when four gargoyles appeared in the doorway. “I don’t have time for you guy’s right now!” Shadow screamed as he started a running shoulder check towards the gargoyles. The gargoyles leaped out of the way and took off towards the roof of the temple.

“You Gargoyles are no different then birds!” Shadow screamed demonically as he drew his sword to strike one gargoyle. Another gargoyle flew in overhead and grabbed the sword and flew off.

“Hey get back here with that!” Shadow screamed as looked over and saw a rock at the temple facing. He picked it up and whipped it at the gargoyle, the rock went straight threw the gargoyle causing it to drop the sword and fall to the ground dead.

Another gargoyle was coming in towards Shadow. Shadow made a fist and punched a gargoyle straight down towards the base of the temple’s stairs. At that moment the sword the other gargoyle had dropped landed at about the same time the other gargoyle landed on top of it. Sticking the sword straight up and threw the gargoyle.

As shadow saw the other gargoyle come in for an attack he felt dizzy all of a sudden and just before he started falling down the stairs he yelled Koron en' naur and then landed on his sword sending it straight through his upper leg.

[Cyrus the virus]

Luc simply nodded to acknowledge Shadow's need to proceed alone. The man was strange, that was undeniable, but Luc also saw him as someone who needed direction and training. Entering the temple alone was a necessary trial Shadow had to endure, but Luc kept a close eye on watch as the large man entered the dark archway.

Some time passed before Luc began to grow impatient, but he did not leave. He didn't have the time or patience to become Shadow's permanent teacher, but the least Luc felt he could do was stick with him through this one day, which was about to end as the sun began it's set over the horizon. Before Shadow emerged from the temple, the statues atop the structure stirred and leapt into motion, soaring down to the entrance to head off the newly equipped warrior.

Luc moved to act, but chose not to a moment later. Shadow was bigger, more furious, and was fighting off the gargoyles as best as he could. The mage not only thought his timing would be wrong if he chose to attack now, as Shadow was simply too close to the enemies, but Shadow's pure fury made Luc fear that he would be lashed out at as well.

Soon Shadow was unbalanced and collapsed upon his own weapon. The two remaining gargoyles swept down to strike, but Luc was far quicker. The flying demons seemed to halt in the air and move not of their own will, being thrown into each other and about. They rose in the air, a powerful current rendering them helpless, and before long a pair of blades came brightly into existence, driving through the small tornado. The wind died instantly, and the remaining pieces of the one again stone gargoyles tumbled to the ground in front of the temple.

Luc went to Shadow then, kneeling by his side and wincing at the wound he'd sustained. "We need to get the blade out of you quickly, and then hurry back to the doctor," Luc calmly stated, though he couldn't imagine actually removing the sword without losing his breakfast.

"I can take you there fast, you won't even need to walk. But you'll have to remove that blade first," he restated.

Luc paused for just a second, before continuing. "How did it go in there? Your Father's armor is magnificent."

[Darkarcher]

“Well you see I was there when my fathers sword was crafted it took the black smith a whole week to make because it is so well made and condensed this sword would probably be about the strength of Plynt. My father’s armor is only steel not that strong against Plynt and also I fell on it me that’s a lot of weight.” Shadow said as he turned over and grabbed the hilt of his sword. “ But Luc I need to ask you a question how did the sword get in my leg it is rather grotesque and funny smelling.”

Shadow winced with horrible pain as he ripped the sword out of his leg. Shadow knew some medical knowledge and knew that if he burnt his wound it would stop the bleeding long enough to get to the doctors office to get the would looked at and accurately judged and fixed up without too much pain seeing as the skin would already be dead.

“Luc I think you might want to look away.” Shadow stated as he conjured up a fireball in the palm of his hand and launched it at the back of his leg.

“Ahh! Holy crap! That hurt.” Shadow screamed as he looked over to Luc “I…think…we…can…go…now…if…you…wish.” Shadow said trying to get up in tremendous pain

[Cyrus the virus]

"I think you fell onto it," Luc said in disgust, his eyes locked on the disgusting wound. "But as soon as you remove it we can be on our way."

The sword clanged loudly against the temple stone as Shadow removed it, then set fire to his own flesh in order to halt the bleeding of the wound. Luc wished then that he'd told Shadow the journey back to town would only take a second or two, but it was too late. All the same, Shadow's wound ceased bleeding, but the pain seemed to be all but unbearable to him now.

"Just relax," Luc said calmly, putting a hand on the man's arm, then gripping the sword handle with his free hand. In a flash their bodies became wind and whisked through the sky, guided by Luc's concentration on where they wanted to go.

In a flash of brisk green light they appeared back in the doctor's office. Shadow was perfectly placed on the same bed he'd been on earlier, and Luc was above him, holding his father's sword. The mage placed it by the bed and turned to see the doctor staring blankly at him, a beaker held in his hands and mouth open wide.

"It's magic," Luc said plainly. "This man needs help once again, please attend to him."

[Darkarcher]

Shadow sat there in pure pain when he saw all of a sudden that hospitals roof come into few once again for the third time.

“Wow trouble must be this guy’s middle name this is his third time here. What’s his wound this time?” The doctor asked

“Well you see doc I must have fallen on a sword and it pierced my leg.” Shadow said as he moved very painfully to show the doctor his wound. “I was wondering how fast this wound would heal so I can be on the road again?”

“Well I know I can fix that wound it is mighty charred and damaged it may take up to two or even maybe three weeks before u could even walk on it.” The doctor said cleaning away from the cut.

“Well Luc looks like I am going to be here a while and I can’t expect you to stay you have helped me out enough as it is and I couldn’t thank you enough.” Shadow stated as he thanked Luc as he rubbed his throat and felt his necklace his. This was shadow’s priceless necklace his mom had given him just before she was dragged off and killed by his father’s followers. “Luc before you leave I want you to have this it is a priceless family necklace given to me by my mother before she was hauled off and killed by demon’s. I would like you to have it. Without your help I would of ended up dieing and I am alive know thanks to you my mother would thank you if she was alive.”

Shadow said this as he started crying half of pain and half of his memories of his mother as he took off his necklace and motioned for Luc to take it. “Luc I don’t want you resisting or hesitating just come and take it then go I can’t stand to look at you. You have helped me too much to even speak off.”

Shadow said as he yelped in pain as the doctor went to remove Shadows armored legs.

[Cyrus the virus]

Falling on a sword probably wasn't a believable explanation, but as the doctor looked at Luc in skepticism, the mage nodded to confirm the story. They had indeed been through a lot on this day, and Shadow falling upon his own sword was one of those events. But they were safe now. Done. Luc felt some good in his heart from helping the man, and Shadow's heartfelt thanks was more reward than anything else he could have recieved.

Am I getting soft? He wondered. Luc was always weak in the realm of emotion and expressing it, but he felt happy now just from helping the massive warrior. It was amazing how Shadow's uncontrollable magic was like his used to be, and even more amazing was the fact that Luc was able to turn his anger toward the man into care.

Maybe he was getting soft.

Slowly, Luc reached out to take the necklace as Shadow demanded he do. It was heavy, but Luc could almost feel the sentimental value Shadow had in it. This was no ordinary gift. He put the necklace around his belt and clasped it shut there until he could purchase a more appropriate pouch to hold it in, for wearing the heavy thing was simply out of the question.

"Thank you," he said simply. "I have a request to make, though. Take it as a way to repay me for my help, beyond this necklace."

Luc reached into his pouch and revealed five platinum pieces, the equivilent of 500 gold, and placed them on the bedside table. They were as bright as a coin could get, expertly shined and looking like they were as valuable as they truly were.

"Find a wizard. There are few in Corone, and the ones in Raiaera are far too arrogant to take you, but in Salvar or Alerar you should be able to find someone. Hire him to teach you in the ways of magic, if you want to learn to control the power that dwells within you." The mage brushed his hair from his face, stringy as it was from the rain. "But beware," he warned. "Alerar is as dangerous a place you'll ever go, and dying in Salvar's cold is about as simple as taking a hot bath."

Luc moved toward the door, but stopped there before leaving.

"I can't help you. I'm... No teacher."

And with that he was gone from the building. The city wasn't grey now, but colorful and bright. The sun shone through the parting clouds to lend color to the world, and Luc could already sense the puddles evaporating, slowly as it was happening. People were leaving their homes again to resume business.

"I'm the furthest thing from what someone wants in a teacher," he mumbled, before strolling off down the sunny streets of Radasanth.

((500 gold transfer from me to Darkarcher))

[Darkarcher]

Shadow sat there and watched his new and right now only friend walk out the door mumbling something then walked down the street. Shadow wanted to get up and follow Luc but as he got up to move the doctor pushed him back down and motioned to his leg.

“Ahh man! Fine I guess I have to stay here.” Shadow stated, as he felt different now knowing he did have a friend a fellow mage. “Doc I want this leg healed pronto I need to go and move on I cant stay in Radasanth for long.”

2 Weeks later!

Shadow got up and stretched after his long slumber in this tiny doctors area of work.

“Hey Doc do you think I can get moving today I am getting bigger and bigger in here I wont be able to get out soon.” Shadow jokingly said as he approached the doctor at his desk and clasped him on the shoulder.

“Holy! Crap your leg can’t be healed that fast that well can it?” Doc asked as I juggled an empty healing potion in my left hand. “Oh you know you could have told me you had that.”

“Meh. I enjoyed the rest.” Shadow said as he walked over and grabbed the platinum from the bed side table. Shadow then went out the front door itching to hunt down his father’s followers with an itching burning passion to kill them all.

((Spoils I would like include: steel long sword (strength of Plynt) full body steel platemail and if you would like my demonic transformation only once a thread and my guy must be near death.))

[Letho]

General Notes: I don’t have that many this time around. This was a rather easy read that maybe moved a bit too fast. Cyrus, at time I felt your magic borderlined with powergaming, as did yours, Darkarcher, but I will address that within the rubric. The story itself felt a bit confusing at times, as if the two of you just decided to play it by ear and that made some transitions a bit too rough. It was an interesting read though, and I read through it in one rather short sitting, and that means something from a man such as myself that reads really slowly. Anyways, the Rubric... *dum-dum-dum*


INTRODUCTION – 4

There was hardly any and it wound up being rather conflicting. Shadow, you say that your character is floating over a sea. I reckon he’s doing so to get somewhere, though where I don’t know until later on. You basically put your character in the middle of nowhere for no apparent reason. Cyrus, yours wasn’t too bad, but it was a rather cliché: “I’m going somewhere because I have nothing smarter to do.”. However, there was some inconsistencies. In his initial post, Shadow is at sea and yet Luc rescues him from a lake. Keep an eye out for details such as this one and always remember that introductions are bound to be a prologue to both the story and the characters.

SETTING – 4,5

There was some and it played an important role here and there, but given the fact that Luc has to interact with the environment, that doesn’t come as too much of a surprise. However, there was nothing noteworthy about it really except that one time when Cyrus described Radasanth during the rain. If you could make all your descriptions similar to that, breathing life into the setting around you, your scores would go much higher. Darkarcher, you tend to be stingy with describing the things that go on around you. I’m not talking about describing forest during the rain. Most people can imagine such imagery without much description. But the crypt of Shadow’s father and the healer’s place basically went without a significant description. Try to form a picture in your head when you write and then try to put it into words.

STRATEGY – 6

I guess the fact that both of you are mages that command elements allow you to do a lot of neat stuff with them, hence the higher strategy score. I like the ways you used the stuff around you, but there were things that somewhat irked me. For example, Darkarcher, in your profile it says that Shadow can create fireballs that ‘pack quite a wallop’, but I don’t think they are strong enough to scorch ten trees down, irritated or not.

I had issues with Luc too. It’s great to use your magic and make it do stuff you usually can’t do, but at times I feel that you rely too much on it. Why fizzle out the fire when it’s raining? It’s bound to die down anyways. Windwalk kind of bugs me as well. If it is indeed windwalk, then Luc would move at the speed of the wind, not the speed of light. I guess you managed to sneak that one past the RoG mods. Also, thought Luc doesn’t seem overpowered, I find it concerning that he can use magic, at lv.4, with no restrictions whatsoever when it comes to how many times he can use it. He can command the elements all day long basically according to the profile. I can’t go against what was approved in the RoG, but I would remind you that you are/were still lv.4 here and commanding elements at will all the time should have some influence on Luc. I haven’t docked points for this, but I will next time around if it happens again.

WRITING STYLE – 5

You two have similar writing styles, though at different levels of proficiency in my opinion. You keep your posts brief and to the point and because of that it’s rather easy to follow it and understand the story. However, both of you seem like you’re lacking inspiration at certain points and they you post just because it’s your turn.

Darkarcher, you have a lot of trouble with punctuation marks and capital letters. Countless times I saw sentences without commas or full stops, character names not capitalized, words misspelled. Take your time while you write a post, reread and even try reading it out loud. If it sounds good to you when you pronounce it, chances are it will good when written. I seriously doubt you speak without full stops and commas. Also, your descriptions feel rather unimaginative at times. You basically took Luc’s description from the profile and pasted it into your post. Twice. Try to avoid that as much as possible because it makes your writing seem sloppy. I also noticed that you tend to write of your character as Shadow all the time. Shadow does this, Shadow thinks, Shadow... Try to avoid this repetition by using other descriptions for him, like, I don’t know, demonic mage, bulky sorcerer or something along those lines.

Cyrus, I like your style a lot. I don’t remember the last time I read anything that you wrote (probably the time we were in a Chosen quest), but I really like how you balanced out your writing. It’s clean, it gets the message across and except and occasional typo here and there, I really can’t find any major mistakes in it. You can sometimes be a bit stingy on descriptions, but I guess the nature of this quest influenced that.

RISING ACTION – 5,5

A bit rushed and a bit jumbled. The important thing about rising action is to make the transitions between certain scenes smooth and that was what lacked here. You started of at the lake mayhem, then snapped back to the calm of Radasanth, then ran into the forest mindlessly, not making the reader aware why it was happening. Shadow’s magic spasms came out of nowhere and only when we’re already in the forest we realize why it’s all happening. And then, when we actually reach the crypt and the build up the climax should continue, you pause to give a lesson to Shadow that totally kills the momentum.

DIALOGUE – 6

This was generally well done, especially when it come to Luc whose dialogue was really realistic and I couldn’t find a single moment where it sound inappropriate or where it deviates from what his character would say. Darkarcher did a good job as well, but at times I felt Shadow’s dialogue to be a bit childish. I mean, when somebody has 25 years and he spent them learning magic and stuff and they are a motherfucking seven-foot-something demon, they don’t sound like a teenager that found himself caught in a pickle. Don’t try to think what would you say if you were in such situations, but actually think what would your character say if he was a living breathing person.

CLIMAX – 5

All things considered, this was done fairly well. Shadow entering the crypt, taking his father’s apparel and kicking the crap out of some gargoyles. However, the climax was jumbled into a single post, together with some reactions that had nothing to do with it. Luc basically took no part in it except finishing off some gargoyles and in the end, it seemed like the climax was a bit bland. There was almost no mention of what Shadow was feeling during all of this, how he experienced the transformation and the battle he was forced into. Remember that climax isn’t just killing some enemies in a real cool manner. It has to have a foundation and a purpose.

CHARACTER – 5,5

Luc seemed consistent here and I liked his inner struggle about getting soft or whatnot. Though I have to say, I still found it a bit surprising that he went through all this trouble with Shadow, chasing him down through pouring rain and into the forest. Still, I guess arrogance and pompousness isn’t the only thing that Luc has inside of himself. As for Darkarcher, same thing I said for dialogue goes here. You have a bigass badass demon here. Try to play him like one. I thought you started off good by being cocky and attacking Luc, but then it all went sour in a hurry. If your character is in fact going through some major changes, try to describe them precisely.

CONCLUSION – 6

Not a bad way to finish it, but still relatively bland. Luc went through all this trouble to help Shadow, giving him advice and money in the end, and the first thing that Shadow does once he wakes up is decide to go chase the demons that killed his mother. Despite the obvious volatile nature of his magic that Luc suggested he should go tame with some wizard trainers. Even if you wanted for Shadow to ignore Luc’s proposition, try to mention it in the conclusion. Mention that Shadow didn’t want to waste time on training because he had more pressing matters to deal with.

WILD CARD – 5

A rather average quest. I really found nothing exceptional that would sway my Wild Card above or below the average 5.


TOTAL SCORE – 52,5

Congratulations!



Darkarcher gets 500 EXP
Cyrus the Virus gets 1300 EXP (due to level difference) and 100 GP
500 GP is transferred from Cyrus the Virus to Darkarcher

SPOILS: Darkarcher, all three things seem a bit too much. I will approve the plynt sword and the steel full plate mail, but I have to say no for the transformation at the time. I reckon the two items are much more important to you and you can quest again for the transformation.

[Thoracis]

Rewards Added!