Alone (Wide Open)

[Massacre]

A'rei sat on the warm sand, feeling it sift through her nimble fingers. Feeling a warm breeze pass over her face and slightly making her long hair sway was wonderful. Such a thing hadn't happened since her days in the fields of her father's farm.

Valeena Lake they called this. . . it's so beautiful. . . A'rei's thoughts wandered all over. From religion, to politics, to her past. Truly at ease, she got up from her spot and looked across the lake; I've never seen so much water in one place. . .

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A large fist beating her head again and again. The smell of liquor. A'rei clutched onto his legs, begging him to stop, "Father, please!" Another fist came crashing down.

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Crumpling to the ground sobbing; I keep having these. . . flashbacks. . .why? Gaining control of herself took some time. When she finally did she got back up and walked down the beach, cloak swaying softly with graceful footsteps; Those days are long past. . . why am I still bothered? Continuing to walk, she found a nice spot that was sparsely inhabited and sat down again, watching children playing together in the water; Such beauty. . . yet all I ever do is watch. She shifted her attention to the adults who watched like hawks over their children, finding it much less interesting except a couple who were having a heated discussion. Two men, both tall with a dark tan and short, trim hair; Are they. . .? The only person alone on the beach, A'rei, got up and moved into a spot to better see and hear what they were arguing about.

"How could you--"
"Do you even know what you're talking about?!"
"I. . . I do!"
"That was mine! Mine!"
"But you. . . you said that I could--"
"Without messing with it!"

A'rei thought to herself in Vai; Vu na tomoes pes. . . Looking down at her knees, A'rei sat there. . . silently.

Sorry if I made any grammar or spelling errors. I'm not that great at English. Also, if you'd like to join in, please send me a PM so we don't post and then have your post be in the wrong spot. ^^

[Corvus MacCallum]

... my toes are soggy...

That thought provided some motivation for the furred and clawed digits to wiggle and did so vigorously, both feet and most of his shins submerged in the sweeping surf. Normally such warrior practices were done on an empty beach, but well, it was a good day and you try convincing farming families and other heavy labour workers that they had to stay off the crisp sands and mull about in town. In relative terms your cousin is often an uncle or aunts kid... but using relative in its non-literal sense the wolf-man had set up his little jig with the elements past the kids and in the opposite direction of the only lass who was showing non-standard curiousity upon the sands. His ragged t-shirt was bundled up quite a bit behind him on the shining stones that made up this pleasantly rough part of the beach, made bare-foot travelling interesting for one thing...

That giant slammer sword also rested against the stones, while it was pure iron and one of the toughest things about... it was still not good to wave it through the water, any hint of rust could impair the bloody thing for good. Instead he'd spent some time whittling and was now holding a very large splinter-hazard cut out of a tree trunk, ropes covering its form and under those bindings were stones, bricks and other weight offering objects... Shapes all wrong but he had to get some degree of weight training while here. A notion had been forming in his mind after witnessing unusual techniques from fellow weilders of blades, raw power was good but he needed something special... something curious or at the least something flashy to scare the shite out of his opponents. Dragons, griffons and other such beasts very rarely got intimidated on how you twirled your sword, but humanoid opponents or at least ones with intellect beyond instincts would litter his path along with the huge conquests.

Perhaps not the best place for this...

It was a typical custom to test your strength against the elements for any hardened warrior, to strike at the leaves as the wind makes them dance through the sky, to drive your blade through solid rock and then smash it upon the earth... he had yet to work one out for fire but this one was water and he was attempting to cut a wave.

... yea...

When it came to waves he was mostly dealing with a big frothy ripple rather than a towering approach of crushing liquid. So that rules out chopping down the waves but there was one possibility... clutching his mighty thwacking stick the Highlander raised it up, then behind his head and brought it down swiftly, watching as with the sheer speed and force the waters surface distorted, shifting away from the huge weapon displayed over it. How much of a gust could he stir up using the Slammer... enough to make his opponents squint maybe, enough force could maybe wreck their balance... possibilities yes.

Again he raised the horrible mimicry of his sword up into the air, deciding to give this the extra effect and with a shuffle of his shoulders and waist brought the sword down in a diagonal slash, cutting from shoulder to the opposite thigh... if he had an opponent at this moment... the water shifted only a touch more. The shape was probably a big deciding factor and that sword itself was... rather odd. His third raising of the wooden clump were halted as a powerful, voracious growl rung out... from his stomach. Smirking at his rather violent instincts giving a better sound-off than most pups he waded out from the water, feet sinking into the soft sands... then getting all kinds of pointy surfaces placed against the travel hardened soles while he clambered onto the rocks. One quick nudge to his sword and the back-pack was revealed, all those lovely fangs and of course, lunch.

Not really a huge favourer of pre-packaged snacks, this thing was an exception, smelt so damn good. Was some foreign food that the recipe had been passed from salesman to vendor, to customer, to salesman, to vendor and then finally to the home of the old couple far north from this little spot. He had given them a hand ploughing up a small smattering of their home ground, the horse had escaped and wound up darting off, after catching the thing it was too knackered to start dragging that contraption, so instead Corvus reigned himself into it. Hurt the shoulders a tad but it was good to see if he could surpass a horse that toned, which he had, though likely from better footing thanks to the claws. After helping out with that he'd been given a little packed lunch as a going-away gift and reward for his aid, wasn't a whole heap by anyones standards but they didn't seem capable of giving more.

"Rice balls... curious things"

Apparently the old biddies favourite though the husband couldn't stand the thing, since she prepared them it made them a tad more important that they'd been given away, apparently rice was not easy to get ahold of in these parts. So first a mighty snack and then... back to training maybe or... well how long had it been since a good lounge in the sun...

Decisions... decisions... to skive or to slash

[Massacre]

I must have dosed off...

A'rei looked up to see the two men had left and there wasn't much else of interest. She gracefully stood up and stretched, raising her arms high above her head and leaning back. She took another look around, not seeing much of interest except... Who is that..?

A'rei looked at the scruffy man in wonder. He was quite tall, almost six feet tall from the looks of it, but ridiculously lean. And carried a large sword she had never seen the likes of before. And that tail. That was a sight to behold, she had never seen anything like it on a humanoid before.

A'rei turned to the right and began walking in the direction of the man... or creature, whatever he was, to get a better look. Moving swiftly and gracefully as not to be seen by the general populace, who were busy with their swimming and picnicking, A'rei was interested only in this new arrival. As she came in closer her strides slowed down a bit and and the human woman lifted her hood up half way up and hesitated; Wait, that might attract more attention... The hood slipped from her hands and A'rei proceeded to take the cloak off, gripping the material nearest her thighs and slipping it quickly off and over her head, it was warm and she was beginning to sweat anyways.

Blond hair came bellowing down and instantly began to sway in the light breeze. A'rei's leather armor was shiny and polished, showing a slight gleam, her pants were loose and comfortable, tucked into her boots for mobility should she need it. She looked around and saw the scruffy man try to slice through a wave with his crude sword. Why isn't he using his real sword... A'rei glanced at the giant sword resting against a rock; Oh, it must be iron. Looking back to the man A'rei watched him lift his sword and cut into the water from shoulder to thigh in a vicious looking diagonal slash. He raised the crude weapon again but this time she heard a wretched noise come from his body. Was that his... stomach?

A'rei watched him slowly walk up onto the sand and navigate his way through the rocks to his sword and saw him take out his backpack. When he opened up the backpack the inside reeked of rice. Although he looked like more the type to eat a rabbit or goose raw A'rei was comforted in the fact that he was civilized enough to eat rice. Feeling like an assassin stalking her prey, A'rei decided to move in and talk to him. Yes, that was what she would do. The woman gathered herself for a second, took a deep breath, and began to walk as friendly-like as she could over to the man... beast... whatever he was.

"Hello," A'rei clumsily blurted out; Why am I doing this? "May I join you?"

[Corvus MacCallum]

The fangs of the Highlander were a thing to take pride in, the strength, the gleaming quality... they were currently bared as he attempted to bite into this unusual dish of a rice ball, but words halted him, he had to blame his upbringing, he could rarely ignore a womans voice. Both blazing green eyes opened up and glanced about from his snacking, the spray had been tickling his naesel cavities too much to really pick out her scent but if she was going to draw closer on acceptance of that offer, no wucking forries.

"Sure lass, make yourself cosey over here"

His tail flicked out to one side and gave a flimsy pat to the surrounding stones, he sometimes got jealous of those lizard anthros and such that had perfect control, but he liked his tail how it was. While one hand continued clasping onto the rice ball its twin dove back into the pack, bringing forth the rest of his packed up lunch and plopping it on the stones in front of him. A few rice balls, a chicken that looked thoroughly roasted and a water skien that seemed to match the chickens rounded shape. Not a whole lot for a wolf that often hacked up boars but at the least it would hold off the growling grumbles from his stomach.

"Me names Corvus MacCallum lass, fancy giving me your own name-sake?"

He hadn't seen many blondes in this region, least not ones that came in armoured attire and yet seemed very well kept... finally catching a whiff from her frame his mind worked through the possibilities, at the least she didn't smell fake like most deposed or travelling nobles. With an unseen mental shrug he brought the rice ball up to his mouth, he was very curious on what it tasted like and with a rough chomp devoured half...

... hmmm... yea not bad, I think...

... When it came to non-meats Highlander taste-buds weren't the best developed, or at the least they weren't all too refined, a few field plucked veggies and a great dollop of a hunted beast and they were overjoyed. While on the flip-side a poncy plucked pheasant garnered with ginger, tyme and other such funky herbs would bring a retch... did have the benefit of a Highlander never having to pay much for a meal they'd enjoy.

[Massacre]

He seems so nice... I should be careful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The man was upon her, slowly taking off her clothing and looking her straight in the eyes, his intentions obvious. She had been "paid" there was nothing she could do...

...Left crying, wondering why this fate had been chosen for her, how long would this go on? What could she do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A'rei snapped back into reality. This man was a warrior, not a piggish aristocrat. There wasn't much to worry about, hopefully. A'rei looked down at the sand near her left foot and watched herself take a step forward. The blond quickly looked at the man... Corvus... and walked near the spot his tail had patted. She set down her cloak on the fairly smooth rock and sat down.

"Oh, my name is A'rei," faltering slightly, "how are you?" She cursed herself in Vai quietly, "Etat... te zhe maur." A'rei sat down at the spot and tugged at her left backpack strap which made it fall loosely around her arm. The woman pulled her arm out and used her right hand to swiftly swing the backpack around and opened it, taking out some food of her own.

I love these things... A'rei had a rather simple but filling loaf of bread. She took out her small dagger and began cutting it in thin, articulate slices. Taking two slices she held them out of Corvus, "Would you like some--" she hesitated and lowered her hand and looked away from Corvus to the ground. The rocks reminded her so much of her past; Like his fists-- then blurted, "If you don't mind my asking... where are you from?"

Damn it, why can't I stop obsessing over his looks?!

[Corvus MacCallum]

"Doing alright heh, just having a few practice swings by the water-side... as for where I'm from?... come from Salvar, way up in the north of that country heh, how about you?... ain't never heard that kind of dialect before"

He had been watching her a tad but wasn't really focussed on anything in particular, just didn't want to seem rude by staring off into the distance while someone was speaking to him. Finishing up on the first rice ball he wiped at his hand and then shook his head, the massively spikey mane rocking from side to side.

"No thanks lass, though am willing to part with a bit of chicken if you fancy... not in the mood for bread just yet"

A quick smirk and he then took upon himself with great freedom a moment to stretch, his arms dragging themselves out to the sides, shoulders raising and tightening before with a...

"Mmm... ah... "

It all flopped back into place, his tail swinging behind him gently. It wasn't just pleasantness that he was offering, she didn't seem fully capable of hunting her own down, not with those boots and he'd often seen people fretting over those golden disks that decided so many things. He had no use for bought goods really and so it makes sense to offer up what you don't truly need to make a persons lot better. Flicking out a finger lightly like one would pop open a pen-knife he traced a claw along the skinned chicken, with a few swift pokes out came part of the breast, nice and white, though cold sadly. With a quiet chuckle on the old womans face while she cooked he plucked it using those fangs of white and had a happy chew.

"Nice place this though... only been here three times over a handful of years"

[Massacre]

"This is my first time actually, I've never seen so much water in a single place," A'rei sighed and looked back up at Corvus, "I come from a small farm in the fields of Corone, we only had a small well. My father talked in that language... it's called Vai. He told me it was the language he and his friends used to speak in. I'm not sure where it came from..." A'rei's attention drifted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clinging to the legs was her only hope, begging for it to stop. A'rei hoped that one day someone would save her from this fate. Another fist landed roughly on her delicate cheekbone, "Salla vere!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A'rei snapped back, a look of pain about her face, "Oh, I'm sorry. Talking about my father brings back bad memories." A'rei slipped the uncut half of the bread back into a cloth and placed it neatly in her backpack. She ate a slice of bread with grace like an Elf shooting an arrow; What was that?

She only caught a glimpse. It seemed like two men. A'rei looked at Corvus briefly with a surprised expression and back to where she had seen the two men arguing before; It was nothing.. and besides, they left a long time ago.

A'rei was curious as to what she say now, "Corvus... did you see two men earlier, arguing?" She looked around again carefully.

Damn it, maybe they're with Corvus... is he a slave trader? He doesn't look cruel... maybe a catcher...? Etat...

[Corvus MacCallum]

"Corone eh?... only seen a few borders of that place, never really travelled through it though..."

The spray was quite a bit of irritation for his nose, but then he didn't need her scent or any kind of extra sensory perception to know that something was bugging this lass, he was just not bringing it up to be polite. Still that was the second time she'd seemed to glaze out of reality and it was nagging at the back of his head, best ask later when their finished... if she storms off, better she do it with a full belly heh. As she nibbled on her meal like someone far too highly raised to be sitting on a stone Corvus returned to his own, plucking another chunk of chicken meat... or was it merely poultry, either way he suspected vegerations not calling this meat could be accused of fowl play, with a chuckle and shrug he had another quick chew before the lass asked her question.

"bloomphs?..."

Blinking the wolf-man smirked and raised a claw before finally swallowing and then returning to the conversation at hand.

"Blokes?... nah wasn't really paying attention to who was lurking about, too focussed on swinging that chunk of wood about heh... why, trouble makers skulking in the surf?"

Saying that he had no idea if this woman was even on the up and up, she could have been an escaped convict known for using her influence on men to stir up fights until blood had been shed to satiate her hellish fetish of death... or alternatively they could have tried peeking on her when she was changing. Could have just been rather rude in disturbing the peace of all the children laughing about, either way he hadn't really noticed anyone, too much of a chill in his nose to detect much more than that it was cold in those waters.

[Massacre]

I feel like there's someone still watching us...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another night, and yet another time he came home drunk. Calling for A'rei. Laying under an upside down basket was her best chance to avoid the beating that was due. And for what? Because she hadn't harvested enough corn?

Why..?

A sudden burst of light and the feeling of floating in strong arms. Powerful fists coming down, "Salla vere, ma duot!"

"Father.. please.."

Blackness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stepping back into reality was something she had down quite often. Even during mid-conversation she would step in and out between the present and the past. Shifting between the two wasn't something she wished to keep doing but how could she help it? Concentrate on what's happening right now, A'rei.

"I'm sorry," A'rei muttered, "I'm just paranoid."

Glancing from her knees where the soft, nimble fingers she treasured so much rested, to Corvus, A'rei looked into his eyes for the first time. They were beautiful, a slight glimmer made them stand out from the rest of his scruff. The sharp teeth, crude weapons and garments, but the eyes...

"Your eyes are so green," A'rei glanced at the piece of meat and back up to Corvus, "I suppose that seems a little awkward... never mind."

Why am I even sitting here? Is this man really that--?

Again! That glimpse of a person. This time she caught more fully and quickly jerked her head to the side. And surely enough, there they were, the two same men as before but fully clad in armor this time and watching the couplet eating intently, as if bodyguards.

"See! Those men over there," A'rei quickly looked back to Corvus, "do you know them?"

Please... please say no... I want so badly for Corvus to...

[Corvus MacCallum]

The Highlander couldn't help but chuckle at that comment, waving her off as he finished up on one side of the chicken, with one hard bite the leg bone broke in his jaw and he continued to crunch down on it. Was an odd thing to say but not really awkward, he did get more awkward comments, like people asking what does his tail wag to, do Highlander females go into heat and the real doozy, can ya lick yer own scrotum... fun times meandering about to those queries. So what would make this girl paranoid.

Why is it shes curious about two blokes, no shackles, nor the jingle of hidden ones, she definately had that quick eye movement of a slave... at least one that wasn't born into the whole deal. His attention was roused as she pointed out the two men, Cors eyes working over them, looked like mercs, no distinct markings... either hired men or long time contract holders.

That Broadsword scabbard is pretty damn wide... looks like the flats used more for hitting than the edge, netting scraps peeking out from behind the two and that polearm the others carting looks great for snapping a slave out of reality with one quick swing... why should men like that be there though... or else they just want to pick a fight with the furry freak, lets see

"Not a clue who they are lass, I don't travel with guys like that heh... oi wankers, enjoying the show?..."

Lots of signals were universal really in Althanas and currently the Highlanders left hand was displaying one of those signals, his middle finger prominently jutting out from his closed hand.

"Yer making the lass uncomfortable so get lost"

[Massacre]

The two men were taken aback by the Highlander's remarks. They still looked confident enough in their skills, however. The left most was wearing leather armor similar to what the blond was wearing. An abnormally wide broadsword hanging limply from his side. The other, wearing chain mail armor with iron greaves. A large halberd was in his hand, stuck into the ground like a totem.

"Did that furball just pick a fight with us, Kaz?" muttered the first man, fingering his large sword and slightly pulling it out of the sheath.

"I reckon so, Raphael," the second man readying his large halberd, "remember, we're just here for the bitch." The first advanced while taking his broadsword out with his left hand, the second following closely behind.

*************************

Slavers... why me? They couldn't possibly know about me... and I repaid my debt anyways!

A'rei looked from the two men to Corvus and back again. Slightly turning her body towards Corvus, "Corvus, will you help me?"

Please say yes... please.

A'rei stood from the rock she had been sitting and rest her hand on the hilt of the longsword gleaming at her side, blond hair gracefully swaying in the wind, she looked coldly at the two men.

*************************

The two men had stopped their advance about twelve feet from the couplet's picnic area.

"Hello lady," the first said, "and you, you piece of filth," looking at Corvus; This should be easy with Kaz here. Some wench and a furball.

"Remember, Raphael, we can have our way with the girl once we beat down that furball." Raz blurted.

By now mothers and fathers all over the beach had their children in their arms, watching in terror at what was to ensue.

[Corvus MacCallum]

There came a loud laugh and then Corvus flashed a grin to the slavers, he didn't need any persuading, he hated slavery and those involved with a real passion... hell his village had been attacked several times by slavers but driven off time and again, important lesson, don't screw with the big wolves. Now it was time to show these two why.

"I might be the furball lads, but I'm the one who'll be teaching you to fetch, here"

With a growl his foot lashed out side-ways, ramming his claws into the wooden mass he'd been using for practice, drawing it up into the air his knee joint popped like only a Highlanders could to allow his four legged speed and snatched it from the air with both hands. Grinning he then used his other leg to spin him away from the lass and keep the air clear as he hurled that mass of wood and stone towards them. The one known as Raphael would likely now be known as Lefty since his right arm took the brunt of the impact, knocked far to the side as the club continued to twirl on, as Corvus came to a halt from his toss the freshly empty hands snatched up his Slammer.

"Now, are you gonna run off and take your partner with ya?... or do I have to bend you down and insert this up you?"

Was strange, normally he wasn't this cocky, but then in the past month or two his fang rope had been expanded upon quite nicely, human opponents weren't much of a hassle when they trained to only tackle untrained nomads or the scared and weak. His tail gave a sharp twitch as a familiar scent hit him, that of freshly spilt blood, he wasn't sure if it was pleasant... but it did strike a chord with him, then there was the sight of Raphs right arm complete with exposed elbow and the bones that made up that joint. People were screaming in the background but he made sure to phase them out for now, he had more to focus on, like why was this woman important for slavers... okay she was a looker but why sniff her out in a public place like this?

[Massacre]

Terror! How had that beast thrown his wooden piece of shit with so much force? Shit, my arm... Raphael fell instantly to his knees, dropping his sword and pawing at his right arm with his sword hand. He looked up at Corvus, "You mangy furball!" Raphael made a variety of grunts and moans as he got to his feet, "I'll kill you..." Raphael was on his feet and bent over to pick up his sword with extreme pain showing on his face.

"So, you've got some skills, furball." Kaz readied his weapon, "Are you ready you mangy piece of shit?"

********************

He looks more prepared than his friend... and how is that man even on his feet?

A'rei pulled her sword fully out of the sheath and took a step forward with her left foot, allowing herself to be facing her left shoulder slightly forward. Her sword was held limply in her right hand, ready to make whatever maneuver was necessary.

"Thank you, Corvus." A'rei shifting her feet back and forth to get better footing if they rushed her. Surely enough, the wounded Raphael rushed at her, sword in the air. It came crashing down, she crouched and took a large sidestep to the right, his weak side. Raphael turned his head before his body foolishly, only to see A'rei's leather gloved hand coming at him. He took the blow directly to the face and it caused him to fall down, already being off balance from his overly dramatic downward slash.

"Goodbye, slaver." A'rei said as she quickly stepped over him and grabbed the hilt of her sword with both hands and drove the tip cleanly and mercilessly into his sternum. The man's muscles briefly tensed from the pain and then fell limp.

She felt no remorse. They had tried to capture her. To make her captive again; Screams..? What's going on? Oh my-- A'rei looked at the terrified people and then quickly turned to see Corvus. She only found them both watching her, she looked into Corvus's eyes, those pretty eyes, that were filled for ferocity and gave him a look of warning and pointed to Kaz who was ready to charge at Corvus; Corvus... go!

[Corvus MacCallum]

The Highlander... was impressed, he hadn't seen moves like that for a long time, most of the folks he chummed about with were of a heavier armament or at least a more straight forward method of fighting. It was an excellent one for humanoids, he had to give her that, but against larger beasts trusting that they would be distracted would only lead to very heavy injury. His grip had tightened on the handle of that gigantic sword, it had felled far mightier beings and stronger wills than those of slavers.

As Kaz stomped towards him twirling that simply flawed halberd Corvus grinned, its not that Kaz had no chance, but he had lost this battle on equipment and mentality alone. The head of that halberd was so very ornate and fancy... no combat value really... plus it was heavy, as was the metal stand, which likely seemed imposing when you hit it off the tiles of your masters home. But the big problem is that the pole was still wooden... and it had not been designed for such a heavy burden. As Kaz raised it up and attempted to bring the weapon down, Corvus brought his own to match it, but his weapon was far superior in its simplicity.

"Lookie here"

The pole snapped like kindling as the blade was smashed against the slammer, as his slash continued upwards the head was carted away, then came a momentary release of his swords handle. The weapon sailed upwards for only a moment before digit by digit he clamped back down on it again and... SMASH... Kaz became seperated from himself. Torso being forced off by the thick blade while his legs made a defiant attempt at standing, then came flopping down as Kaz's lifeless face broke against the stones.

"Hmmm, don't think I'll keep that release, feels a little odd to let go of my weapon..."

They were slavers, they enjoyed what they did judging from their grins earlier, there was no remorse to give those gits and he wouldn't waste time thinking on weak opponents.

"Shall we head somewhere less... well potent in scent?"

[Massacre]

Very impressive... I've never seen such a thing. Then again, this is the second person I've ever killed... and Kaz was the third person I've ever seen killed... I wonder--

"Thank you, Corvus." A'rei half whispered. Looking around at the people was more of a sight to behold than the killings themselves. They were simply amazed and too stunned to even cover their children's eyes. A'rei felt her hair slip down as she looked at the corpse beneath her. I'm curious as to why they came for me here... A'rei proceeded over to Corvus, dropped her sword and embraced him, whispering, "Thank you, Corvus."

We should get out of here.

Stepping back A'rei mumbled, "Yeah.. let's head to the city and see what we can dig up..."

A'rei turned around and walked back to the rocks, grabbed the backpack up, swung it around and put the straps on her shoulders and then bent down, picking up her tattered cloak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The door opened.

"Now listen, I'm not here to gorge in worldly pleasures with you." The man strode in with such grace and had a commanding presence.

"Wh.. what are you talking about? If you want it just take it! Either that or just leave me alone." A'rei looked up from the plush chair.

The room was dimly lit with only candles mounted on the walls to provide it.

"I don't want to touch your body in such a raunchy manner as those in line after me," the man strode across the room to the bed and slowly pulled out his sword. A'rei cringed; Does he mean to kill-- The man spoke before she could finish her thought, "I do not wish to harm you, but instead, to help you. Before you speak let me make it clear that I'm in the business of.. liberation."

"What do you mean?" A'rei sat forward on her chair, what little clothing she was allowed, falling off. She pulled the low cut blouse up and buttoned up the top three buttons from her last encounter, "what are you interested in then?"

"As I said, liberation. You see, I want to make you an offer. I'll train you to fight so that when the time comes you'll be able to help yourself." The man pulled off his long navy blue cloak.

"I've.. why are you being so kind? I can't learn to fight in one night!"
"Don't worry, I'll come six more nights. Do you accept."
"Y.. yes.. I do."
"Good, first of all, take this cloak and hide it somewhere, I want you to have this should you ever need it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A'rei walked back to the Highlander. "Let's go."

[Corvus MacCallum]

Normally it felt good to bring an opponent down, but then, they were not opponents... they were obstacles and nothing more, temporary and fragile. With a quiet sigh Corvus let one hand slip off his slammers handle and was attempting to make its way to his rough mane, but stopped on the scent of blood, some of Kaz had been flecked onto his knuckles. A quick shake, wipe and then suddenly a warm form was against his... that always felt better than taking down an opponent, however worthy. Well he believed that, had yet to match up against a particulary strong opponent. Glancing down to her he gave the lass a soft pat on her back before feeling her slide from him. That pleasantry over he slid something far less heated against his back, hooking the gigantic iron blade onto his back, blood was trailing down his blade but no time to wipe it up.

He gave a glance to the now rather disturbed families, hopefully this would be the only time they'd need to see a man carved in two by a hungry wolf-man... but who knows really.

"Sorry about that folks... bandits with a bit of shine to them, no choice..."

He gave a heavy sigh and awaited the few steps his new acquaintence had to make in order to draw up level with him. Flashing another smirk he gave the lass a pat on the shoulder and jerked his head off to the side, there had been a nicely trodden road there that would lead into a rather small village... he'd been there before a long time ago. Got him this really funky job involving three fully feathered cockerals and a behemoth snake, bloody basilisk rumours.

"If your up for a brisk jaunt we can head on to a little place I know, called... whats the name again, Red... something, eh well its a little village, shouldn't be any of these guys sniffing about, even if they are should be spotted easily heh"

[Massacre]

"Yeah sure, let's do that. We can go to Red something!" A'rei exclaimed. For the first time in her life A'rei felt happy. And she felt at ease with Corvus. Despite his appearance he really was a very kind person. She set off with usual ease and grace down the path Corvus had pointed out to her that led to "Red something."

A'rei looked at the road, it was quite trodden. How hadn't she seen it before? Had she really circled nearly half the lake walking in the sand earlier? I'm glad I decided to come here. But... I'm still worried about why these slavers made such an attempt to snatch me...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally I made it to town! But where should I go now?

The entrance to the market was bustling with activity. The farm was barely visible from Radasanth; Where do I go now? Taking a closer look, A'rei saw nothing of much interest that she could possibly afford...

...Walking, walking, and more walking. A'rei wandered the streets like a homeless mongrel for nearly 2 hours, she decided to ask for directions to an inn. She walked up to a scruffy looking adventurer. Clad in leathers dyed totally black and an insignia of a purple crow on his left pauldron, the man looked experienced at his trade. What A'rei wasn't aware of was his trade.

"Ex... excuse me sir, can you please help me?" asked A'rei looking up at the man innocently.

The man seemed interested in helping out, "Sure, but first, how old are you?"

"I'm only fifteen and quite lost, please I need to find--"
"Okay, quiet now... I'll help you out. What are you looking for?"
"An inn, please... I'm so lost..."
"Okay, I'll bring you there. Come with me..."
"A'rei."
"Okay, come with me A'rei." The man held out his hand and A'rei took it without question...

...Waking up and not knowing where she was frightened her terribly. She felt strong hands carrying her onto something. Going up... ...being set down on a wooden bed, the white sack got taken off. Faint conversation and her eyesight adjusting. Everything was foggy.

"...will be good. How much are you asking?"
"Ten thousand. No less."
"Ten--"
"Yes. Ten thousand. She's already a looker, imagine..."

The door closed. She could smell salt. Was this the sea her father had told her about?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A'rei beckoned Corvus to follow her and began walking down the path.

[Corvus MacCallum]

"Its such a bloody shame trades like that exist..."

The wolf-man grumbled and gave a brief shrug to fix that sword in a more comfortable position, his tail swinging out to the side in an attempt to stay gore free. He couldn't help but cringe on her repeating the village name of 'Red something', hes a wild beast, how important is a place name really?... well unless its something like 'gorge of pointy death' or 'entering the fangs of oblivion', apart from those place names weren't that important to him.

She definately has some way of moving heh, if it weren't for the cape covering most of her form earlier I'd have bet it was that which brought on the slavers... but no, theres something odd about this and with a touch of luck the heart of it will be in town... been wanting to rip out something pulsing and bleeding for a few days now

With a few darted steps he caught up with her, drawing up alongside the lass, twice now he'd come into contact with shorter, far more graceful women... though sadly this one wasn't wearing a skirt with a high hem-line. Smirking at his own thoughts the Highlander kept his eyes pointed forwards, he had seen enough of her without having to let his eyes rove over her frame, however nicely proportioned in areas. Must have made quite a sight, a girl that seemed like a short earred elf in perfection of face and motion, alongside a beast of a man with a huge sword clattering against his back. Didn't help that he`d forgotten to redress, that t-shirt doing its best to sail in the meagre wind offered up to them, but his gauntlet and buckler were fitted back on and felt, well... good to have on.

Promise of a nice protracted battle maybe, with some fiercely reputationed bodyguard that he'd make his quarry... maybe tear apart a building in the fight as the two honourable... well reasonably honourable combatants engaged in a deadly embrace of metal.

Then again with my current luck of opponents he'll be some overweight guy called Norman that likes to swing about a big stick and fondle women who scream no... bah

Didn't take long at all before the village of Redmane came into view, the four feet padding up above the crest of a hill to look upon the small settlement. Already there was the thick scent of hay, horse droppings, mead and all the general daily stuff a sensitive nose gets afflicted with. It was one of those adventurer kind of towns, or at the least a tad shady, built around its brothel or pub, depending on the time of day. Of the native population it probably only had one in the sixties or so, a nice, quaint farm village that suffered great muscled oafs wenching and drinking for all they could now and again... course the glimpses of shining metal and patrols through the streets told a somewhat different story.

Could be those slavers, or else the owner of the pub is looking to keep order in a nice iron fisted kind of way, curious...

"Dang, best we keep our heads down in this place, no point holding it off though, only gonna get chillier as the sun heads down"

[Massacre]

"You're right.. it is a shame such professions exist." A'rei looked up at the mangy Highlander, "I know from first hand experience, but my debt was repaid after two years... and they didn't have the same purple crow on their shoulder."

Why did I say that?

A'rei was still looking at him but he kept looking forward. She wanted to see those eyes, oh how she loved those eyes. How they went from glimmering circles to the most fierce spheres of madness she had ever seen. As they continued down the path she smelled the ale. She knew that smell from anywhere. They must be approaching the town Corvus spoke about. As they came over the crest of the hill she saw the village in the distance. It looked bustling like every other town she'd seen since... well... since she was a slave.

It looked like a place fit for adventurers and vagabonds in the distance, she kept walking alongside Corvus silently. Then she saw patrols in the street; Curious...

"Dang, best we keep our heads down in this place, no point holding it off though, only gonna get chillier as the sun heads down," remarked Corvus.

"Yes... that's something I'm very good at. Have you remembered the actual name of this place yet?" asked A'rei. They kept walking closer and closer...

[Corvus MacCallum]

"Right there is the clue, see the flag?"

Indeed there was a flag, flying large and true from the top floor of the pub building, upon it was a lions head and its mane was a swirl of flames. As they continued down the hill A'rei got both her wish to see those eyes and also the story behind that place.

"Its called Redmane due to the efforts of a deposed lord, his vast fortunes went into building the place up and creating a livable area for families to spawn and prosper, but the commoners refused to accept him, living alone up on the uppermost floor of the Pub... then there was some great beastial roar tearing through the silence of the village one night. A few of the braver men and women went out to find an elemental beast, known among us hunters as an inferno lion... some alchemists sick joke in a way, but yea it was a lion of flame. None of them could get close enough to take it out when suddenly the deposed Lord stormed out of the pub, brandishing his tarnished and chipped saber and with one fierce lunge rammed through the beasts skull. On connecting the mans arm burst into flames, then the rest of him but the beast had been killed, they honoured the Lord by burying him with others of the village and giving a holiday for him at a certain time of the year, his name fading through history and being known solely as Redmane... killer of the firey lion..."

Course I got this story from a bard so its tricky to say just how accurate it could be... still its a fun thought heh

Her eyes, well to him at least seemed just as green, but there was a lot behind them that dulled the colour in his minds eye. She had a weight upon her that made his massive sword seem insignificant, unhappy pasts weren't uncommon but Corvus was never sure if they should be brought up, at the least she'd warmed up enough to let him know she used to be a slave and finally gained freedom.

Attractive girl like that... probably had all kind of rich gits plying for her... bah what bastards...

Considering more slavers could be there Corvus let himself be carried closer to the lass as they walked, closing what little gap remained and watching her. She could defend herself yes, but how ready was she to wade through corpses of her own creation?... its all well and good to dull those senses thanks to trauma, but one day it all comes flooding back.

[Massacre]

"That sounds like a bard's story! Oh how wonderful it is hearing such a magnificent tale. I very rarely hear such epic stories." A'rei was trotting alongside Corvus while listening in awe at the story, she did in fact rarely hear such things except for an occasional couple of rich slobs outside her door as a slave talking about myths and legends.

As they neared Redmane, she was positive that it was an adventurer's kind of town. Drunk women, men, and a whole variety of drunk things were all over the place. Sitting on benches passed out, others harassing each other or being thrown out of bars. I wouldn't be surprised if the horses and pigs were drunk.

There were at least four pubs she could count without even entering the town. This was definitely the place to lay low. With so much ruckus one could easily become lost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope he comes tonight...

A'rei sat in the plush chair as she did every night. A heavy knock and the heavy oak door swung open; It's him! It really is! He came back!

"Hello to you my dear A'rei," the man greeted.
"Hello! I never asked in my excitement, what is your name?" A'rei inquired cheerfully.
"My name is unimportant, such connections are not advised, I wouldn't want to teach you only to have you risking your life to try and find me," the man pulled out his blade and handed it gently to A'rei. Getting up out of the chair she took the longsword in her hand.
"Please... will you tell me your name?" A'rei swung the blade clumsily through the air.
"I will not." The man pulled out another blade from the opposite hip's sheath and began the lesson...

...A'rei was sweating, something she didn't do anymore even during the most vigorous men. The training had been intense.

Loud knocking on the door, "Time's up buddy! Finish up!"

"Yeah, yeah..." the broad man replied, "Okay, please try to keep yourself together. I would hate for my time and currency to be wasted on such a beautiful face." He bent over and kissed A'rei's forehead. A'rei handed him the sword, watched him sheath it and then he walked out the door, leaving her with envy in her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A'rei looked at Corvus and saw that while she was deep in thought he had moved considerably closer to her.

"Corvus, where are we going?"

[Corvus MacCallum]

"Well I had been intending for us to just find a cosey part of the Cock and Trumpet there, that one there with the red cockeral on the sign... where we could then have a chat and talk about plans from here on out, but I don't think that option will be all that easy"

Drunk or not, there was a lot of danger present here... an unco-ordinated blade could still peirce or cut just as deeply as one honed over centuries of training, the likely-hood was just a lot lower. Sometimes he did wish he had taken up wearing a cloak, at the least it could hide his sword so people would stop staring...

I am NOT compensating for anything, theres no short-comings in my body, so stop with the accusing glares sheesh!

His steps halted on seeing one of those paired up patroling prats up close. No symbol like last time, but there were some shared features in the way they wore that armour... like the previous two the right shoulder was over-armoured with a large metal shoulder pad, three holes as well. Was the place overrun with slavers or had the two half-wits...

Heh technically true of that Kaz guy now

... just been looking for a bit of extra cash, no they had known about A'rei so that meant they were in the slave trade on a bigger level. That was his assumption anyway, high selling products always garnered a lot of attention, even if they were flesh and blood. She definately was the kind of woman that would wind up with that kind of attention forced upon her, made the bile rise in his throat thinking just how many hands worked over her after dishing over a handful of coins...

Wether A'rei had seen them or not, he gave a gentle nudge to the back of her hand using his furred manipulator, then a quick nod to the passing guards. It took some effort to drown the growls out in his words so they were understandable.

"Lets duck into that little alley and work out how we want to handle this eh lass?"

[Massacre]

A'rei wasn't surprised at the number of people who stared at them walking down the street. A large, funny, humanoid with a small, graceful human must've been a sight. Especially with that huge sword that Corvus carried.

As they walked A'rei noticed some of the patrols, that same shoulder armor... the holes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Outside her door there were two men who were loud, annoying, and probably obese from the sound of it.

"Well Bernard, those god damned Coronian mercs have no crest. I say that's no honor!"
"You fool, they're some of the best around! Honor or not they're good at what they do. Magerys mentioned something about the three values."
"Damn, they could put that on their armor in huge letters 'The Three Values' and I'd respect them more."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That must've been it.


"Lets duck into that little alley and work out how we want to handle this eh lass?"

A'rei looked up at Corvus, "I agree. They're Coronian mercenaries I think, hired as slave traders."

A'rei turned to her left and followed Corvus into the ally he had spoken of.

[Corvus MacCallum]

"Mercs eh?... well thats good, with armies you take down the general, or demoralise them with a quick snatch of the banner... with mercs we just need to scupper the gift dishing out the gold and then handle the greediest ones while the rest skulk off in need of a new job"

They didn't really make it into the alley quietly, as Cor shifted his shoulders the Slammer turned in its hooked holster and tore a fairly deep groove in a neighbouring wall with quite a screech. Still a few drunks just groaned and no one else took much notice, not his fault they built villages and towns with such a claustrophobic nature. As they walked together down it the Highlanders mind was filling with all kinds of strategic notions... well strategic in that they didn't just consist of smashing into the pub and carving down all those who were armoured. The lass was good, he wasn't doubting that she could defend herself, but it only takes one misplaced toe, one loose floor-board to scupper a style like that and best to choose the location of your combat rather than give the enemy home-field advantages.

With all these many thoughts... well yes he got a tad excited, his tail wagging speedily behind him, keeping to one side in order to avoid the gored sword, the overly fluffed fur brushing against A'rei though it was just on the back and nothing sensitive was impacted lightly.

"Sorry heh... well they seem fairly plainly equipped, those two we saw on the street had the same kind of polearm and sword as the two down by the lake, flimsy armour, lots of weak-points... but how many is a good question we've yet to answer... might want to put your hood up too since they came looking for ya Ari... uh thats close right?... I'm not good with names heh"

[Massacre]

"Mercs eh?... well thats good, with armies you take down the general, or demoralize them with a quick snatch of the banner... with mercs we just need to scupper the gift dishing out the gold and then handle the greediest ones while the rest skulk off in need of a new job," Corvus was looking a bit more worried than before.

"I agree with you, we'll have to find a creative way to get rid of them. Or maybe we won't have to if we can stay unnoticed." The horrible screeching noise, what was that? A'rei looked at Corvus and noticed the gash in the wall, she looked up at him and Corvus shrugged. At least no one had seemed to notice... either too drunk or too busy.

A'rei felt the sensation Corvus's tail brushing against her back. He must have been getting excited or nervous about something. Was he really thinking about all this that much? A'rei glanced at his tail, it was wagging far more than usual... he must be genuinely concerned.

There's only been one other person so concerned...

A'rei didn't let herself slip out of reality and tried to keep focused on the present, "Sorry heh... well they seem fairly plainly equipped, those two we saw on the street had the same kind of pole arm and sword as the two down by the lake, flimsy armor, lots of weak-points... but how many is a good question we've yet to answer... might want to put your hood up too since they came looking for ya Ari... uh thats close right?... I'm not good with names heh."

A'rei stopped quickly, set her backpack down and flung the cloak over her head, her body becoming easily encompassed in the navy blue fabric. She quickly grabbed the hood, putting it up to hide her hair and shadow her soft face.

"Maybe we could cut their pay off and then they'd leave... we should find out who's paying these Coronians. And you're just off with the accent a tad on my name. Pronounced more like 'Ah-Rye', it's fine though." A'rei looked up at Corvus, a slight gleam in her eye.

[Corvus MacCallum]

He gave a quiet chuckle, concern sure, but yea he was far more excited at the prospect of a nice multi-melee. Still least he'd gotten confirmation on the name, he was suprised why folks went with such, extravagent name-sakes, then again he'd met many folks that resented simple names...

---

"I tells ya boyo dere ain't bin a single fimush aero by da name a Bob, it just didnae appen in dis day an idge"

"I know but come on, you have a good chance, Bob the Beast Breaker has a pretty good ring to it, hell you could always trim the last bit off and impress the ladies"

"Aye, Bob da Beast, I like de sand a dat, den again yer da beast of this bunch am a right boyo?"

The goliath of an axe-warrior gave a younger but still as fiesty Corvus a hard slap on the back, before quickly sinking back into his tankard. It was some simple little backwater tavern, a few gold disks capable of buying you a wench or a horse depending on the current trends, Corvus was sat in a corner with the other 'front liners'. It took brute force to break a monster and he was part of that main team, his anti-cavalry sword, slim and far weaker than the leaders imposing Iron Slammer. Then there was the 'Digger', it was the only name he had been known by, a spear like a tree trunk always by his side, vast claws and spikes rammed into the base for him to hold his ground and of course crowning it was a visciously bladed head enough to skewer even a Blazens heart.

"Kip up vith zat dreen-king and you jall only be known as Bob ze Bloated"

"Ewe shut yer trap Grimnor, tweren't me dat broke is nose off dat table in da Owling Wulf"

Grimnor was, despite his rough name one of the softest of the bunch, silk shirts and lacy sleeves mingling in with his shining plate and chainmail. He was part of an important system in large hunting groups, he was the wailer, strange name yea but it made sense when it was him and other strong lunged sods that were to draw out the beasts from tight caverns or else to pass signals to the 'back-liners' and ambush sites. It was common for them to travel light but Grimnor was a tad too narcassistic, he loved the idea of riding in alongside the other gruff warriors, some gleaming archetype of the Knight in shining armour and ride off to the local speak-easy with some easily impressed lass.

---

Corvus gave a quick shake of his head, those many sharp hair-spikes tracing across his brow and nose. His turn to return to reality really, was strange... he never put much thought on the old posse. Highlanders mourned the dead but they rarely let their minds linger on those who passed unless it was an elder or lover, they will never be truly replaced but others would come that would have a semblence towards the deceased amigo. He wanted to do that again, a team of chums able to bring down the strongest of monsters these lands had to offer... but who knows when that would happen.

"Sorry, glazed over for a moment there heh... slavers love posessions in general and they definately love luxury, after all their products remind them of how they could if they weren't rich and powerful... reckon we'll find him in the tallest building so he can overlook his fledgling empire"

A quick glance to the sides in order to keep a good notion of how secure they were, thankfully all clear for now but it couldn't be long before they notice two strangers. He could just picture the manual labour assignments that would be set to him, galley slave, pit fighter... bah, friggin slavers. Would be unwise to wait for night, it was only just past noon considering how short everyones shadows were, besides neither of them had any idea how many other duos, trios and other such ios of slavers were out and about in the surrounding area.

"How many people have you fought before lass?"

Lets pop in a translation in the method of olde foppe

Bob1: "I tell you my dear chap there has not been a solitary hero of reknown known by the title of Bob, it was just not something that would happen in this day and age, frightful"

Bob2: "Oh yes, Bob the Beastly, its phonetics are pleasing to my audio receptors, but then forgive me if one is mistaken, but are you not the more, beastly, one among us dear chap?"

Grimnor: "Continue with your consumption of fermented vegetable drinks and you will become known as Bob the Bloated in reference to your rotund belly old bean"

Bob3: "Please do close your noise hold you rather irritating fellow, for it was not one that damaged his nasel passages upon an oaken table in a previously visited drinking establishment, what-ho"

[Massacre]

A'rei was walking with Corvus when she noticed him drifting off. A look on longing in his eyes. What was he thinking about? Probably better days, he was stuck now with a small woman who was far less brave and ferocious than he. He looked to glazed over; Is that what I look like when I start thinking? He looks so nostalgic. Mine isn't nostalgia though... it's...

"Sorry, glazed over for a moment there heh... slavers love possessions in general and they definitely love luxury, after all their products remind them of how they could if they weren't rich and powerful... reckon we'll find him in the tallest building so he can overlook his fledgling empire," Corvus took a quick look as if checking their state, but she would have told him if something was out of place.

A'rei watched a group of five slaves being led in shackles; Could we...?

"How many people have you fought before lass?" Corvus seemed to want a fight.

"Oh, not many. That man on the beach was the second I've ever killed," A'rei pondered for a moment, "Corvus, I have a better idea. If you would mind pretending to be a freelance slaver we could find some shackles and have you demand that I be taken straight to the top man himself. What do you think?"

[Corvus MacCallum]

... okay that was uncomfortable to think about...

"That sounds like... well it seems an okay idea in theory but, urgh... sorry lass but that thought makes me retch, besides they were actively out for you, that means somethings special planned, I turn you in for all we know they could just box you up immediately and ship you off to some far-flung corner of the map..."

She'd probably look pretty good in some skimpy rags though... where the hell did that pop up from... ditch it man, ditch it

He shifted against the wall, thankfully only the hilt of his sword grated against the building and the sound was un-noticable. His arms slowly drew themselves up and entwined, only two men dead by her hand and she gave nothing up on that second mans death... he didn't like that one bit. Perhaps the shackle option would be best, at the least it would mean when it came to combat, he'd be the one swinging about.

"A'rei... I hate to ask but, what class of slave were you?... did you go to the service of those high up?"

No wucking forries lass, when will ya be back?

[Massacre]

I hope he thinks it's a good idea, I wouldn't want anyone getting hurt on my behalf...

"That sounds like... well it seems an okay idea in theory but, urgh... sorry lass but that thought makes me retch, besides they were actively out for you, that means something special is planned, I turn you in for all we know they could just box you up immediately and ship you off to some far-flung corner of the map..."

"Well... it would be the fastest and least bloody way to the top of the ladder. I'd like to avoid a confrontation. I don't doubt your skill but there are a lot of these slavers around." A'rei glanced from Corvus to her left and quickly to the right. Nobody around... good.

Corvus shifted slightly; No! Luckily, his sword only made a light thumping noise against the surface.

"A'rei... I hate to ask but, what class of slave were you?... did you go to the service of those high up?" Corvus looked like he was in almost extreme pain as he asked.

"Well, yes and no. Whoever could scrounge up the money to pay got what they wanted," A'rei's eyes drifted off a bit, "Please. It won't be hard to find a pair of shackles that you could easily break me out of. Just demand that you be taken straight to the top yourself. Claim that you heard about their search for me and want to be guaranteed full payment. Trust me, they'll comply. I know the slave trade."

[Corvus MacCallum]

As they talked the first hour past noon had faded through, at the least shadows were a teensy bit lengthier. Nodding slowly at this horrible proprosition... but unflawed plan, Corvus shed the massive load of weight presented by his slammer. His left arm raised up to rub at his shoulders... he had often done that with his right arm but that bloody buckler was so large it kept catching him on the chin, so many bruises from a simple reflex action, what a bitch. Slowly the Highlanders head lowered, slipping that chin against his neck and giving a fleeting glance to A'rei, arms folded and claws tapping at the metal around his fore-arms.

Avoiding blood-shed, sure fun... but I fancy a bit, these bastards deserve it for ruining peoples freedom

While his mind worked steadily and methodically through this whole little scheme his tail just swung widely from side to side, a nice contrast of wisened elder and playful pup.

That should work... now to just grab meself some shackles, ah I hear the clink of a victim

Reaching an arm behind him Corvus drove his swords tip into the ground so it wouldn't need his support just for now, a quick smirk flashed to A'rei before moving to the nearest alley exit. He could smell it all... sweat, ale, tears of a stranger upon their clothing, slavers... two unique scents, two sets of foot-steps. Pressed against the darker side of the alley he allowed his anger to build, lip curling upwards and exposing those flesh ripping fangs, a deep growl rising from his chest. His overfluffed tail ceased its wagging as other muscles craved the blood to fuel and tense them, shoulders lowering, hands idling at his sides...

Now!

At the first fleeting flash of an oily t-zone Corvus lept from the alley, turning on one heel to stand in front of the two, as he had surmised, they patrolled in identical spacing trained into the muscle memory so no slave could slip between them. The left one had quicker reactions, two of his fingers had managed to find the handle of his sword when they went limp... his partner hadn't even acheived that before his life was carved out... along with his voice-box. In the ambush Cor had swept both arms up and through, claws cutting right through unprotected throats and in his palms held onto the fleshy insides of the slaver necks.

Both slumped forward thanks to the simple tug he had given before those throats came free, his hands releasing the dripping sections of innards and then sweeping up to press his hands against their backs. A few quick shuffling foot-steps and he had pulled them back into the alley... shackles waiting on their waists. For some reason, a feeling arose that never had before, with his hands soaked in blood he couldn't raise his eyes to A'rei, instead he just kneeled down and plucked the steel manacles... easily broken with a good sharp tug. He had become something far stronger than most could manage thanks to that sword... so why was someone strong from blood-shed, ashamed to show a fellow warrior his face on doing what was natural...

... This is odd...

[Massacre]

A'rei watched in awe as Corvus came around the corner and easily ripped the manacles off of the slave. He wasn't looking at her, was he ashamed? He shouldn't be, after all she inspired the idea in the first place.

"Corvus, don't look away from me like that, please." A'rei began sticking her hands out but stopped. What if her plan went awry? Something could happen to Corvus and she would be stuck in the hands of slavers. She could escape but if something happened to Corvus she wouldn't forgive herself.

A'rei had a way of convincing even herself to do things most people wouldn't approve of or do.

Don't worry A'rei, Corvus is a good warrior and I'm not exactly bad at fighting myself. I think we'll make it out okay... but if we don't... Vra nulah!

"Corvus, put the shackles on just loose enough so they will come off if I tug on them just in case. But not so loose that they fall off." A'rei stuck her arms out for Corvus to put the manacles on.

Please just do it.

Translation:
Vra nulah -> Die with honor (roughly)

[Corvus MacCallum]

"Corvus, don't look away from me like that, please."

I CAN'T help it...

There was something in his throat that gave off the sound like a wounded pup, a low whine, he felt proper shame for bloodying his hands and he couldn't put a claw on why exactly. Perhaps spent too long mingling with regular society, now a greater shame burdening him on top of the previous one of being embarassed by his own nature. With a soft jingling the manacles fell to the dusty ground, the Highlander following suit onto his haunches, his fingers tearing and cutting at the left guards shirt... it felt so strange to bring out the blood from his fur and hands without moisture... that horrible stickyness and thickening. His claws often gave some pathetic little glimmer, but now they were dulled by the scrubbed blood clinging to the recesses and lines in them.

Pressing one hand onto his thigh he made to hoist himself up, the other arm lazily swinging down to scoop up the manacles. One more attempt made to rise up and see A'rei, looking to the constraints he was now gripping... they had been washed many times perhaps but he could smell it, faint traces of innocent blood that had been spilt onto the steel from rough tugging around, a sharp edge, a twist of the flesh and then crimson pouring across it. His mind was being forced through many passages of imagining... in one he could see his own form, emaciated and clutching to some wooden wheel, lashes falling upon his spine to have him push it. Another brought those manacles to a different purpose, it was a thought he could scarcely believe was his, one end around A'reis neck, the other around his, a burning building and something hotter arising from that closeness...

... that was, very odd...

Was about the only comment he could make on that, probably just a result of travelling alone for so long lately... company was craved yes, but there were other facets to company a hot-blood Highlander had quite a wanting for, thankfully he could control those urges. He must have been standing there for some time in thought, his hands trembling and causing the steel chain to shake and clink against itself. But slowly they moved towards her outstretched hands... or at least, half-outstretched, his eyes tracing up her form before settling upon her own windows to the soul as they were called by barbs of liscentious thought.

"If need be I'll break these with my own teeth to return your full freedom A'rei..."

He felt so horribly strange in that instance, he often gagged at the heroic types that would spout off lines like that... but perhaps it was possible for someone to genuinely make those kind of comments... like now, he hoped. The manacles were a simple affair, to rounded halves bolted together on both sides, the outer bolts were the ones that would be loosened or tightened for release and capture.

"I never fail when a lass needs me, you can be sure of that"

Again with this... but am I really reassuring her?... it seems so bloody redundant

[Massacre]

A'rei slipped her hands into the shackles as Corvus put the bolts in. There were a thousand things that could go wrong with such a loose plan, especially with only the two of them. A'rei just hoped that the official payroll provider was reasonable and would accept outside help.

He was probably a fat and completely rotund man who would have his way first with A'rei and then sell her off or use her for whatever purpose if it were up to him. This time however it would not be up to him. A'rei could slip out of the manacles given four or five seconds and Corvus could certainly break them off.

After Corvus was done putting the shackles on her wrists, A'rei nodded her head in the direction of the large building that was presumably the headquarters of the mercenaries while they resided in Scara Brae. They had begun to walk and many of the mercenaries were looking at Corvus with respect and almost honored him as he walked down the street with the beautiful woman captive in his strong grip.

As the duo approached the large building the mercenaries guarding the door stopped their chatting and looked up, the bigger man demanding their purpose, "You got this wee lassie? State what 'ya want or be on ye' way!"

[Corvus MacCallum]

"I want to see your boss"

There was a lot of hatred in those words along with something else, something primal held back deep in his chest, it so badly wanted to surface but for now he just snarled at the guard and held it back. Shoving the guard right off his feet and onto the dirt nearby, mercs and slavers respected strength, the whole dominant male aspect, such utter bollucks, even to a wolf. Again that primal feeling surged up through Corvus as they walked through the bar of this slaver headquarters, women in tatters being tugged around by armed men on chains and forced to serve them. For now it was just drinks, but then there were other floors to this building and he doubted all had drinking facilities. Sure enough as the two headed upwards through each floor they could easily hear the moans and sobbing... it was like walking into a brothel during rush hour, except these girls weren't willing or ready for such things.

Every scent will fade and die before the sun falls past the horizon...

As they scaled up the final stairs, now being carefully watched by some upper-crust body-guards Corvus let his hand slip from the handle of his Slammer. It didn't stay free for long however, taking hold of some mace weilding giants hand when he attempted to reach for the dragon-slaying weapon, immediately a massive growl was let loose from the Highlander.

"Git ta fuck boyo... I'm here to see your boss, got the woman you lot are looking for"

Some grunts and hushed, unintelligent words were shared between the suprisingly plain giants of body-guards before the door was opened. The heavily armed Highlander leading A'rei in by one of those chains and forgoing any sense of 'business' distance... that thing those in imposing positions loved so much, instead he came straight up to the desk. What sat behind it was some pathetic creation of cross-breed between frog and human, at least, thats what he should have been, but no this slimey skinned, pustule ridden creature was all human.

"Whats her price?"

[Massacre]

"Price, for her?" The rotund man was looking at Corvus with a hint of fear in his eyes. "Well, I'm not in charge of paying for this bi--"

"That is quite enough, Alton," A tall and deeply tanned man walked into the room from a door in the back, his face hidden in the shadows, "I will take it from here." The man walked into the light. He had a leathery face from what one would guess to be years of hard work on the fields, a deep tan from forging his own living through farming, smooth and large muscles forged from farming and refined through vigorous training. The face was what A'rei noticed most of all. The scar down the left cheek, the sharp nose jutting out like a spike.

No... please no...

A'rei flinched and began to try and squirm out of the shackles, the man then approached and stopped about ten feet away as to keep the beast at her side calm.

"A'rei, do not run from me," the man looked at her with love, "please my daughter, I wish to make my wrongs right again. Here let me help you." The man, apparently A'rei's father proceeded to aid the young girl in getting the manacles off but she managed to wiggle free before he got to her. The loud clank of them falling on the floor made the small, rotund "boss" flinch slightly. A'rei's father stood but four feet away, eying the beast for any sudden movements.

"Wha--" A'rei, completely shocked, couldn't make the words come out of her mouth. A'rei simply fell to her knees and wept. She began to shake uncontrollably and had her face buried in the dark blue cloak she held so dear.

A'rei wept with all her heart.

"For two years I've searched for you A'rei," her father looked down at her with pleading eyes, "after you ran I realized my mistakes and decided I would find you no matter what. I... I asked a few men from the pub to come with me. After the first year we became organized and now we're hired to do the dirty work... all the while I've been searching for you. Come back to Corone with me, please."

[Corvus MacCallum]

Corvus often felt it wrong to answer for other people and so avoided it like the plague, but right now he was already feeling a bit sickly and so let it loose.

"No"

This woman had obviously had bad experiances with blokes and it would be likely he'd just add to that with this decleration, but no child should weep out of fear on reuniting with their parent. A'reis father definately bearing witness to a sudden movement from the Highlander, but one too fast for him to do much about, with a heavy sweep down came his blade to the side, blocking the weeping lass from his advances. Those fangs once again bared and tightly clenched, that primal urge sweeping right up through him.

"Get, back!"

No wild animal would cross him in this state, but he often felt humans needed the extra vocal incentive to make things clear, too removed from their basic instincts really. Alton was literally oozing, his sweaty girth not good for dealing with stress of fighters and resisters... he wanted to yell for the guards but unfortunately he had a good mind for distances, seeing a six foot sword and only needing the beast-man to do a quick hop forward before being able to split him from bald head, to hairy arse. Instead the slaver just kept his mouth shut, a good move if anyone there knew it was intentional.

[Massacre]

There were two knocks on the door and A'rei's father tapped his foot, apparently the sign for them to come in because there were suddenly ten or fifteen guards in the room. Even that amount was too much for A'rei and Corvus to fight. They had a rough semicircle and two of them were at A'rei's father's side; ...why?

A'rei looked up, her eyes practically filled with tears, "Who are you to come looking for me?" A'rei could not comprehend why after him not caring for year after year, how he could suddenly care so much. "Do you honestly expect me to believe you?!" A'rei screamed at him.

Her father flinched at the words. He must have been expecting her to run to him with open arms. However he didn't realize she had been enslaved, abused, and humiliated time after time for two years because he inspired her to run away. Yes, it was his fault. A rough looking man with an eye patch barged into the room and pushed his way through the guards and walked up to A'rei's father, "Malikus, we found it," the man looked back at Corvus and A'rei apparently not realizing this affair was taking place, "the men say it's the biggest beast they've ever seen but we're one hunter short. Most of the men aren't even strong enough to be helpful..."

A'rei got up from her knees and looked over at Corvus. At the mention of a large beast his tail began wagging excitedly. Could he really miss hunting beasts that much? He must, after all, he seemed to enjoy killing the first mercenary although he must have felt shame after killing the second two. He wouldn't even look at A'rei after the deed had been done.

Meh, short post but I can't think of anything.

[Corvus MacCallum]

His tail was wagging yes, but not at the mention of a monster... these men knew nothing of what a monster was, but for the last fleeting moment of their lives would likely face one today. The eye-patched guard was looking a tad non-plussed at what was going on, but quickly recognized the blonde woman, a description that had been hammered into their heads since taking on this job... she looked like a good bit of flesh indeed. Again that horrible rise of something so very instinctive inside Corvus, tongueing at the roof of his mouth to try and ignore it before finally letting loose another short burst of words.

"We're leaving, her and I, in freedom"

A'reis father cracked a smile at this, a nervous one yes but he beleived numbers were in his favour... okay so he could draw that sword quick but theres no way he could swing it about, gravity was on his side for the unmounting thats all. He was preparing to give that command, they knew not to harm his daughter, otherwise not a penny would be paid, fingers twitching feverishly as he readied.

"Get that beas-"

Their weapons had already been raised and attempted to approach, by the first few foot-falls things far heavier smacked against the ground, the Highlander had responded to that threat. Three of their number now lay in a selection of parts, torsos and arms slapping heavily against the ground, then those legs falling after realising nothing was pumping the blood through them. His swords point rested beside A'rei, the flat of the blade giving her hip a cold pat to move behind him. She may have thought they could not win, he got that feeling from a glimpse of her eyes... but he would not fail in a ladies service.

"He.... he got Freddy!"

"in bits man.... hes in fucking bits..."

Those who hadn't picked out head-gear were now very pale indeed, the sight of people they had likely known for years brought down with a single blow from a sword that seemed carved from a giant mass of iron. Good time to press the advantage of fear.

"Come on then!... the hell you waiting for!"

Baring his fangs and removing one hand to show off those solid black claws he took a step for them, there were quite a few noxious scents, a lot of it from the portly egg shaped blob of a human behind the desk on the opposite side of the room. But also from those guards, he could hear knees trembling against unworn leather, knuckles were regaining their colour or whitening even further as they tried to work out 'fight or flight', growling loudly Corvus let out a tirade of fierce barking. Two had figured they had had enough, weapons clanking to the ground as they threw themselves against the door-frame, hauling each other out of their path until they fell down the stair-way.

A'reis dad was currently having some fleeting thoughts that mimiced those, but no, his child was there... his sweet, sweet daughter, he was going to have her back.

"A bonus of one thousand gold coins for his head!"

Mercs were often bandits in need of more money than they could gather from a few wagons passing by, people that had no other option to survive but could swing a blade... for men like this, their life wasn't worth much, a reward like that got their attention. The one eyed leader barking out orders to his men, Corvus had stopped paying attention to them, in their current state he could envision how the blows would fall, paniced hacks and slashes, unbalanced jinks and steps as they tried to keep themselves ready for retreat. It would probably take a human of exceptional skill even now to pick through their defences... these men were used to dealing with humans.

I ain't no human... fun fuckers...

Another massive growl rose from the Highlanders throat, three swordsmen charging towards him, practically tripping over themselves in wanting to get that reward. His grip on the slammer loosened until it smashed against the floor beneath it, before it had finished, Corvus, now unfettered by its weight pounced. His shoulder smashed into the middle swordsman, tearing him off the ground, his claws ripping through the cloth and skin before puncturing between the ribs to get vital organs. Beofre they could scream a blood-stained Corvus pounced on the next, his fangs tearing into the humans throat as his yells became nothing but gurgling whines, a wild sweep with his foot blinded the third soldier for life... but that was only a few seconds anyway as his other foot smacked hard against his jaw-line, sending him reeling out the window and to the ground below.

Using his bodies momentum Corvus swung around the guard he was still biting on, the throat coming loose in his mouth and came skidding to a halt not far from the gasping corpse. He gave that flesh a solitary chew just to line it up better before hocking it out, a large, red splotch of fresh blood splattering against A'reis father.

"Better raise it a tad to keep the interest going"

[Massacre]

Only two men remained. A'rei had guessed their numbers wrong. The two who remained were standing next to Malikus. She had forgotten her father's name after the horrors of slavery.

Malikus... yes, that...

A'rei looked up at her father, his eyes gave off his slight amazement at Corvus's deeds.

"Very well done, beast," Malikus looked at Corvus at gave off a slight grin, "I've waited for someone like you for years. Would you like to join my ranks?"

A'rei looked at Corvus and knew he'd refuse, but what did her father have in store for him after he refused? He looked at Corvus with a look she hadn't seen from him, ever. Respect. Corvus really was a great warrior, he took down a whole room full of mercenaries in less than twenty seconds. That took talent, something that Corvus had. A'rei figured it was mostly his instinct that drove him to kill as a solution to every problem. Why did it have to be like this? No, it didn't.

"Just stop!" A'rei stood up and looked around at everyone in the room. She was sick of bloodshed and couldn't stand the thought of anyone she cared about getting hurt. Although her father had abused her, she still loved him, as any child loves their parents. A'rei just wanted the violence to stop now, there had been enough blood spilled on her behalf already. "Just stop the killing! There's no need. I'm done with this business, just tell me what you want father!"

"A'rei... I just want to fix my mistakes..." Malikus looked at his daughter with compassion, "I know I've hurt you in the past but I'm a changed man, and successful."

"You call this success, you run a band of mercenaries!" A'rei looked to Corvus, "Corvus... please... there's no need for more killing, I'm fine... you can leave... I don't want you to possibly get hurt on my behalf."

A'rei hated the notion of anyone getting hurt, there was no need for it any longer. She believed her father. He was the only person she had ever trusted. Except the man who taught her...

[Corvus MacCallum]

Corvus had managed to growl forth his response to Malikus before A'rei intervened.

"I fight for peoples sake, not for gold, get bent"

It wasn't instinct that drove him to kill, at least, not in these kind of scenarios, it was simple survival. For that much gold they'd likely kill a family member, let alone from beastial stranger and while the reward lay ready to be snatched up Corvus would not get peace, best to solve the problem quickly... besides, they were willing to imprison people for the rest of their lives, slavers do not deserve mercy. While A'rei poured her heart out through those words the Highlander bent down for a moment to snatch up his sword, giving a hard swing to sweep the blood clinging to the blade.

Much as he wanted to look dramatic something was bugging him quite badly, taking one hand off the immense swords handle... he had a pick at his teeth and dislocated a sizable chunk from one of the guards before looking to A'rei.

"You'd beleive a man that is part of a bunch of slavers?... that came hunting for you with blade and chain?"

[Massacre]

"Corvus... he's... he's my father. Don't you understand that? Despite what he did, "A'rei glanced at her father and quickly back to Corvus, "he's still my father and I still love him like my father."

A'rei didn't feel shame despite his profession or choice of work. In reality she had hated living on a farm, she was almost proud of her father. He had gotten himself out of that pathetic farm and into the world, forging a path through the competition.

You see my friend, in my business it becomes necessary to front a number of different organizations. What better way to find my daughter than pretend to be a slaver? It has also proved to be quite profitable along the way." Malikus regarded Corvus with harshness, almost as though he was inferior.

"Father, will you let Corvus remain unharmed at all, in any way, if I come with you wherever you're going?" A'rei stepped in front of Corvus, almost defensively. Her father surely had more elite guards elsewhere in the building. Perhaps they could harm Corvus unlike the ones who hadn't seen such a beast before.

"Yes, your friend there may leave unharmed. He can even join us if he'd like. He seems to be a great warrior."

"Don't drag him into this, I just met him today! He's got no business joining your mercenaries."

"Fine, but if he tries anything I'm having Raeythecus here take care of him."

A'rei turned to Corvus, "Please Corvus, don't worry about me. Just go and continue what you were doing before you met me. I'm sick of seeing you in danger because of me."

[Corvus MacCallum]

"My whole life is danger... "

His fingers tightening upon that sword he brought it up and thrust it past A'reis shoulder, not even touching the misguided lass but the point sure as hell aimed at her dad. Blood was dripping from the sharpened tip, his hands and mouth quite thoroughly coated as well... he was mad as hell and really wondered if he could leave these lot unharmed... all those women he saw being paraded through the streets...

"When I leave town I will strike the fact hes your father from my memory... along with your wish he not be killed, nor his lackeys... if those people remain slaves tomorrow I will be back and better not doubt me on that you bastard"

Slowly that gigantic sword withdrew, since there were no fangs to rip or hides to skin Corvus eyed up one of the large bladed broad-swords, scooping it up and the sheath from one of the fallen guards. At the least it would be alright for skinning and add extra weight training. His claws rapped against the floor as he slowly began to walk out, tail sweeping from side to side with a real display of his hatred on this whole situation. On reaching the door the rapping of foot-claw stopped... replaced instead with his hand, claw after blood-soaked claw hitting against the door-frame, he gave a look back to the girl all this blood had been shed for... perhaps futilely shed in fact.

"A'rei... heres a lesson from a vagabond, position and power mean nothing, riches and servants even less... what matters is if you can look back on your deeds and hold your head up high, thats something he'll never be able to do, don't make that mistake as well"

Agreement or not, as Corvus walked down through the building no one opposed him, he stank of blood in all the most lethal areas and word had been screamed by the retreating guards of just what he'd done. Man-slayer was such a pathetic title when compared to dragon-slayer, but if it made even one of these men sober up to the idea that slavery was wrong... well it was worth having.

[Massacre]

"Finally, reunited with my daughter. Come A'rei, let me introduce you to the man who helped me the most in finding you!" Malikus outstretched his arm implying he wanted to put it around A'rei's shoulders. She looked at him and blinked for a brief moment and walked under his embrace, "This is Raeythecus, the man whom I drank with formerly. He decided to become a mercenary and I joined him in search for you."

"A true pleasure, Miss Ngoyu," the rough looking man gave an eloquent bow, "I've heard tales of your beauty and I see that it is indeed true."

"Uh, thank you." A'rei hadn't heard anyone speak with such eloquence and look so rough in her life. She liked the man so far.

"Certainly! Your beauty is well commanded. You have my admiration," the rough mercenary turned to Malikus, "I must take my leave. I have a beast to hunt. Best of luck to you both in mending your past." The hunter made his exit to the door A'rei and Corvus had entered through.

A'rei's father sat down and began conversing with her. Like an abused pet that comes to its master, she sat down and listened.

For the second time in her life A'rei didn't feel so... alone.

[Lucien]

Mood: Apathetic. (I'm just that goth)
Music: Broken Wings (Piano Version) ~ Trinity Blood Ending Theme

Now, I apologize for the long wait. I didn't pick this thread up until the 21st, and well, laziness and two jobs aren't a good combination. So, yeah, sorry again.

To make things easier for me and easier to organize, I'm only going to put quick notes near each of the categories. This way, at the end, I can give you both a larger paragraph summary on the things you need to improve on, etc.

I am also underlining anything I think is absolutely important.

STORY ~

Continuity (6) ~
-Masscre, you gave me storyline and continuity throughout your thread, which is very rare for any Althanas character. While I do believe you went a bit overboard at times by spreading it to almost every post, it was fresh. Good Job.

-Corvus, you had more scattered background, with most of it sitting at the beginning in your opening posts. It worked, which is why this category earned a 6 between the two of you.

Setting (5) ~
-For both of you, this gets an average score. There was a lot of detail at the beginning, but most of that energy seemed to die out later in the thread with only sporadic smells of Corvus and semantics from Masscre. I had almost no idea of what the village/city you two entered looked like. People were drunk, yes. But was it a small drunken village? Was it medieval and uncivilized in its design? Were the streets paved? The houses you scratched; were they in good condition or not? Also, a key piece of advice;

Setting is like the scenery of a play. No one wants to just see a painted tarp behind the actors as the pantomime; not unless they're drama nerds or something. They want props, they want interaction with the environment. And they want a lot of it.

Pacing (3) ~
-This is the area that got hurt the most. I'll explain to both of you why this is so low in the summaries. But know that is was not the fault of any individual. And while you may believe pacing isn't important; better pacing would've made this an easier read for me.


CHARACTER ~

Dialogue (4) ~
-Massacre: I preferred your dialog towards the beginning. It seemed more natural, more worrisome. Later on, it kind've appeared, well, psychotically energetic at times. I could see your character saying these things, but not while she's being hunted by slavers as she and a wolf man huddle in a back alley. Also, don't ever repeat the other person's dialog in your post. Remember that your reader has already read it, so that they know what you're talking about. Please, it just gets repetitive.

-Corvus: You need to work on keeping modern sayings out of your work. It just seemed liked your character grew up on Earth at times, the way he spoke,

I ain't no human... fun fuckers...
not merely in vocabulary, but also in grammar.

It also wasn't just your main character.


"He.... he got Freddy!"

"in bits man.... hes in fucking bits..." You see, it's not just the word fucker, it's the way it's said. These two mercenaries sounded suspiciously Vietnam survivor to me; not Althanian.

Action (6) ~ For the most part, action was alright and fitting to both your characters. Corvus smashed things, and Massacre was introverted enough to come off as an abused person. At times, it was a little fuzzy as to how far you pushed the boundaries of your actions into something far different than your characters. Like Corvus not wanting to be ripping throats out in front of A'rei; but then later he hacks through them like a mad man on meth. Just a tad inconsistent, not too bad.

Persona (5) ~ The persona in this was iffy for me. Like I said in dialog, A'rei came off really energetic at times, and I found her saying things that filled plot holes, which felt weird. I counted about three times when she said, "Why did I say this?" or "Why ....etc?" and yet there was no answer after that as to these actions. It made her seem a bit ditsy. But the first page also made her out to be extremely troubled and nervous, but still managing to talk to people? Trying out a new character can be hard sometimes, as you'll often fluctuate persona around. You'll eventually find your nistch though, or whatever the word is.

Corvus, not to forget you, but your character seemed rabid to me. Not just because of the brutal violence either. He seemed to love a challenge and hate society, but you mention he helped out a nice old farm couple. Also, why be at a populated beach so close to people. You could've headed much further down the shoreline to a much more isolated area.


WRITING STYLE ~

Technique (5) ~ No many literary techniques I saw here. There was some train of thought by Corvus, and flashbacks and *hinted* foreshadowing by Massacre. Please, especially for Corvus, use some more imagery. Paint a more vivid picture, a lively world teeming with life. A warrior character needs that.

Mechanics (4) ~ There were a lot of mistakes. I'm not going to point them all out, but if either of you want to see them I will gladly have an Instant Message or Private Message conversation to go over them with you.

Corvus, this connects to what I'm going to say to you in my final paragraph.

Clarity (3) ~ I can't give this a higher score. I was confused a lot of the time of what was going on. A'rei's flashbacks threw me off from time to time, and I thought Corvus had stabbed her father at the end of the thread. (Which would've been funny as hell.) This all comes down to pacing.

Wild Card (8) ~ While there is a vast area for improvement, I see a lot of raw talent here. If you both keep writing you can really become some of the best on Althanas some day. So what the hell, have an 8. I can do that.

Total Score: 49


Corvus: You need to learn how to write in a less casual fashion. You write as if your character is narrating, or at least some extension of him. And yet, you also write in the third person limited form. These two do not mix. It often sounds like Corvus' thoughts during your descriptions, which vastly take away from pacing and flow, as well as enjoyment.

You also need to lessen up on your use of ellipses. This really... breaks up the....way...someone....reads...something, as you can see. It's a good rule of thumb to never have them in anything but actual character dialog.

Massacre: You aren't a native English speaker, I understand that. There were a few fundamental sentence structure and grammatical mistakes that even I was making 'till I joined Althanas. Instant Message me and I'll be glad to go over these with you and what you can do to improve on it.

Your flashbacks really cut up the pacing to a choppy level, which in turn hurt clarity. Never go for the flashbacks so often. There are other ways to hint at a dark past that the reader can put together. Remember, the reader does not always have to be an idiot, most readers can piece some key together on their own.

Again, please PM or IM me with any questions, complaints, suggestions, or death threats.


Massacre:
EXP - 709
Gold - 100 - Because her father gave her some for back owed allowance.

Corvus
EXP - 691

EDIT: After being PMed by Corvus, I'm awarding a steel broadsword to him as a spoil. Not very ornate, it serves functionality first, and it's made from an alight steel. It also has some weight to it, so it can be used to train with a different type of sword.

Whether or not Corvus decides to sell it later on at the bazaar is up to him, but it isn't really worth much outside of spare weaponry.

*Also, a side note. Your side bar says your current "slammer" sword is six inches, not six feet. ' is feet, " is inches.

*Also Also, It was a bit unrealistic how you dispatched those guards. They are train professionals, and taking out six or so of them in a few swipes seems unreasonable. They know how to dodge, especially when they see a six foot, or inch, sword coming at them. You need to remember to give your NPC henchmen some more realism in feelings and ability.

[Letho]

Please don't post in threads after the judgment is done. PM the moderator instead.

EXP/GP added!