“Shuffle, Shuffle, Moooooan...” Memoirs of Undead Encounters

[Christoph]

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Zombie Tales Part Three: The Fairer sex doesn’t play fair.

Never doubt that women are dangerous foes. This is true in animals and intelligent beings alike. While male adversaries are normally directed by pride and victory, females are far less predictable. They rarely forgive misdeeds and never forget them. They seem to hold all the metaphorical cards; they are the more beautiful of the genders and the most stubborn (they will give in as often as they forget).

When they are friends, they are not helpless creatures to protect -- when they are your enemies, they are not to be taken lightly under any circumstances. It’s not that they are necessarily more likely to defeat you than a man. However, if I had a choice of losing to a man or losing to a woman, I would choose a man every time. Men fight you to defeat you and crush your pride; women are not so easily satisfied.

To make matters worse, it is only the wisest of men that would ever suspect them. Needless to say, I was far from wise when I first learned this painful lesson...

From the Memoirs of Christopher Knighton



Chris blinked groggily as the morning light hit his face. His body jerked with a start. He’d fallen asleep! After promising to stay awake for the night, he’d fallen asleep. Sighing, he rubbed his eyes, but did not open them. There was nothing to be done about it now; the night was gone I probably really needed that sleep anyway...

His head throbbed and his stomach turned as he fought the nausea brought on by dehydration and dizziness. He still seemed to be slightly disoriented. Where was he? Chris felt the coarse bark of a tree trunk against his back, heard the churning and spraying of running water nearby, and smelled the distinct air of a vast and ancient forest. He was in Concordia. Had it all been a dream? A quick check confirmed that the bandages were still covering him. This, of course, reminded him of just how painful his wounds were. He grimaced. So no, apparently it was not a dream.

All right, so what had happened? That was certainly the more difficult and complex question. If his memory served him, he and the half-Elf Dineia had fled Radisanth to avoid being arrested for disturbing the peace. Prior to that, he’d left his hometown in Salvar to see to business regarding supplies and shipment for his mother’s tavern. Needless to say, he’d gotten himself off track. After leaving Radisanth, Dineia and himself made their way into Concordia during the night. They came across some mystery girl and experienced a shambled run-in with some zombies. They fled, of course, which led them to where they now were.

“Is everyone still alive?” Chris asked, his eyes still closed. On the bright side, I can’t complain about my life being too boring anymore.

[Dineia]

It had been a long and nerve racking night. Dineia had fought to keep her nerves stimulated enough to keep a grueling watch. Chris had fallen asleep rather quickly, though she didn't mind because he wouldn't have been much help anyway. Human's think they are so useful at night She had been thinking the moment she started to hear his snores. As the wind blew loose leaves around in a sort of lullaby Dineia had found herself having to dunk her head in the cold water multiple times.

The sun had peaked through the trees after a while which meant that they had survived. Dineia looked at the sleeping bodies on the ground. The girl Chiyo had been restless all through the nigt, but at least she was safe. Dineia looked at Chris when she heard him asking if they were still alive. A smile burst into bloom as a wave of laughter filled the air. She didn't know why she was laughing. The biggest reason must have been that Chris hadn't bothered to open his eyes. It was rather refreshing, even if she was exhausted. "Yes, we made it through the night. But you should be thanking me for staying up." She said sticking her tongue at him. She did it more for her own comfort than as a teasing thing since he hadn't opened his eyes yet.

"Hey Chiyo!" She shouted as she knelt next to the girl. The sooner she woke up the quicker they could get out of the forest. She lightly tapped the girls shoulder waiting for a response.

[LegendaryIsis]

Chiyo's eyes shot open and looked straight into the strange girl's eyes that she had met earlier. A slight touch of her shoulder had awoken her from the zombie filled nightares she had been having all night. She gasped and blinked a few times, a few tears sliding down her cheeks before she rolled over on her side and glanced around.

Her hands and knees were nestled in a damp grassy patch. Tall, leafy trees caught her gaze and her ears picked up the sound of the nearby stream. She stared into its shallow waters and tried to recall her latest memories. Slowly images of the events from the day before came back to her.

It had all been a dream Chiyo realized and sat up slightly, placing a hand to her chest where her heart was beating like the fluttering of a hummingbird's wings. Finally she remembered what had happened and who the girl was that had awoken her. She looked up at Dineia from the ground with a grim expression. "...Morning..."

[Christoph]

Chris smiled at Dineia’s laughter and couldn’t help but to laugh back. It was good that she still had a sense of humor given the current situation. After a motionless moment, his laziness subsided and he opened his eyes. As usual, the forest seemed far less ominous now that the sun was shining. This didn’t diminish his desire to get out of it, though.

“Thank you—ow!” Chris replied as he climbed painfully to his feet. He looked at Dineia and forced a grin. “I tried to stay awake. I must have been more tired than I'd thought.” He rubbed his eyes and shuffled to the stream to quench his thirst. Finally, he turned back to face the other two.

“Don’t be mean to her, Dineia,” said Chris, in an almost scolding voice. His eyes softened, though. He sighed. Perhaps being groggy was making it difficult to be upset with the half-Elf. He retrieved some cooking utensils and small bundles wrapped tightly in brown paper. “At any rate, who’s hungry? We should eat before we head off.”

[Dineia]

Dineia was mildly offended by Chris's accusation that she was being mean to Chiyo. It was only that she was trying to get the girl up. She didn't want be in the woods another night and she didn't know how far it would be to the next village or town. The fact was, she was too tired to make any complaints. But she looked at him and smiled anyway. The mention of food helped her mood a bit as she was more than starved.

"Are you offering to make breakfast for the ladies?" She asked in her energetic tone. Now if only her body could take on the same demeanor. She didn't even move away from Chiyo. Instead, in a rather confusing twist of her legs, she plopped to the ground in a peaceful cross-legged manner. "I could use some food." If he was going to offer, she was going to take. No need in giving up her own food.

[LegendaryIsis]

Chiyo sighed and without saying a word of response to Chris's question got up and walked over to the stream. She could feel her stomach growl as she sat down by the cool water but she didn't want to ask the human or half elf for any favors. She cupped water into her hands and moved it up to her lips to let the water slowly slip past her lips and down her throat. She gulped down all that was in her hand before taking a deep breath of air and closing her eyes for a moment.

She heard her stomach growl again and turned around slightly to eye Chris and Dineia. She looked back into the water frowning slightly.

[Christoph]

"Of course," Chris replied, grinning. He produced an apple from his pack. “Well, all right, I’m not actually going to cook anything. It would take too long to get a fire going to be worth it at this point.” The chef dextrously cut the fruit into thirds and cored it. He chuckled to himself. Even as stiff and tired as he was, he could still use a knife as though he were born with it in his hand. Setting the portions onto a piece of cloth, Chris unwrapped one of the brown packages, revealing a few dark grey slices of dried meat.

“Besides, we just need to eat enough to give us the energy to make it out of this forest,” the chef explained, dividing up the meat. “And the sooner that happens, the better. I do NOT want a repeat of last night ever again.” He shuddered reflexively as the memories from the previous night’s run-in with undead filled him with a renewed feeling of revulsion.

“Right... anyway, eat up,” said Chris, keeping his composure and sliding the food covered cloth forward. He didn’t eat right away, though. Partially, it was the manners of allowing the women to start first. An equal part of it, however, was the fact that he wanted to wait out his disgusted feeling in his stomach so that his appetite would return.

[Dineia]

Dineia couldn’t help but frown a bit. The food was still out of her reach. She took a deep breath that ended up turning into a yawn before she pushed herself onto her hands and knees. She slowly crawled closer to Chris and took a few pieces of the fruit. She quickly took a bite of the refreshing food allowing the sweet juice to flow over her tongue. She chewed slowly trying not to yawn too much.

“Hey Chiyo, hurry up and eat.” She said as she tossed the girl a few of the remaining portions of fruit. For some odd reason she couldn’t get herself to eat the meat. As much as she generally liked smoky, spicy pieces of dried muscle, she just wasn’t in the mood. The sooner they left the forest, the sooner she would get to find a bed to sleep in. All this trouble for a lousy sack of money. She didn’t even bother to find out how much was in her new companion’s coin purse before she had led him from the city.

She quickly finished her portion and went to the side of the stream. She cupped the cool water in her hands and slowly drank down the crystalline contents. The entire environment seemed so different than from the night before. The trees seemed more alive though they were already losing leaves. Though the ground was covered in a sea of deadened leaves, there was still some growth peaking through the waves.

After a moment of studying her surroundings, she turned to Chris. He still hadn’t touched any of his food. “Is everything all right?” She asked keeping her right hand dangling in the water. The mild bite from the cold was helping to keep her awake. “You haven’t even touched your food.” She said in an almost accusing tone. Her lips pursed as she tried to comprehend his lack of action.

[Witchblade]

(I apologize for how long this took me to write.)


“Is that all…?”

Witch looked out from the darkness of her hood to the figure before her. A beautiful woman in body, but in mind and soul she seemed disfigured and scarred. There was something missing from her that any sane person would clearly have in abundance, but that did little to persuade Witchblade from this job. She cared not how delusional the person was she served as long as the halfling was allowed to operate in her own way. It always reminded her of the old days when she worked within the Chaos Within Order clan. A fun adventure it was, even when she became a commanding leader for it. Unfortunately leading was not one of her better traits. The halfling always operated alone unless forced to do otherwise and though anyone could shout orders from their mouth it took a certain person to care whether or not those people came back from their orders. Witch was not one of them. Thus she seemed perfectly suited for the job this lady with offering.

“That is all.”

She smiled at Witch, something that could have looked genuine but Witch was brushing lightly against the outer reaches of her mind. This woman was powerful in ways that Witch was not but it worried her little.

“And what is it I’m getting out of this endeavour?”

There was always a price. The halfling cared little for money and materialistic, human gains. But there was always a price, there had to be.

She brushed her fingers through her long red hair; it looked like fire in the coming light of the day. “Whatever you want.”

Lips long ago sown shut for the pleasure of a madman twitched into a smirk at the edges, “We’ll discuss it later then.”

She could always use a few more sharp, pointy objects. But there would be time yet for that. Right now she was perfectly suited with what weaponry she carried on her person and what weaponry was natural to her person. Not everything made for battle came from the forge.

“One more thing.” She stopped Witch before she could disappear into the forest; “There was a disturbance last night…I want to know what it was.”

Witchblade inclined her head and then disappeared into the forest surrounding them. It wasn’t hard, she practically lived in Concordia and it’s twisting branches and interlocking caves were nothing new to her. She had explored every valley, swam in every river and jumped from the tops of most waterfalls. To disappear into the brown and green was a simple task made easier by her cloak and it’s chameleon enchantment. She could blend into most surfaces as long as she stood still.

Something to keep me busy…

The murderess had had enough of self-pitying herself into depression about her existence in this world. She came to a point where she could no longer debate within herself over the way Althanas was created and whether or not being created in mind of someone else made her real. She thought, she breathed and she killed, that was real enough for her. It was time she got back to her old ways, it was time she smelled the blood of innocence in the air again as she tore through flesh and broke bone all for the sheer pleasure and watching the life slowly leave weeping eyes. There was nothing more satisfying than taking a life and knowing you had that kind of power over a person. Their fate within your hands. How lives could change so dramatically.

Grabbing onto a low lying branch, the halfling effortlessly swung herself up into the tree, crouching and sniffing the breeze as it gently flowed against her. She caught the scent of the animals around her, the river not too far away and faintly she picked up the unmistakable stench of rotting flesh. Zombies, her new employers little toys. Witch took off through the treetops, heading towards that one smell and knowing the trail would lead her somewhere.

[LegendaryIsis]

Chiyo turned her head when she heard her name being called and caught the food that was flung towards her without a second thought. She felt the firm and wet texture of the apples slices and looked down at the contents in her hand with a slightly surprised look. She had seen apples before but she knew they were human food and had no real desire to try them. An object flashed out of the corner of her eye and she looked up to see that Dineia had come over to the stream to take a drink.

A cool breeze ran past Chiyo's face, bring the scent of dry meat that Chris had pulled out from his bag with it. She couldn't help but follow the smell of the meat as he feet carried her past Dineia and to the grassy patch where the food in question rested.

She looked down again at the fruit in her hands with a look of disgust and sat it down on the cloth next to the meat. She then took a seat, resting on her knees and gave Chris a furtive look. "How much meat can I have?" she asked then stared down at the ground. She was feeling rather pathetic, accepting food from a human. But Chiyo was getting so hungry that her head slightly throbbed in pain along with her stomach. So she would suck up her pride and eat to continue her journey. That's all she could at the moment.

[Christoph]

The weary chef's head spun as he found himself being questioned by both of his companions at once. He needed to compose himself quickly. For some odd reason, these two strangers seemed to be looking to him for guidance... or something. He'd need to pretend that he was capable of giving it to them (and if he was lucky, perhaps he could even manage to pretend that he knew what he was doing). He blinked and turned to Dineia first.

"No, I'm fine," he replied before taking a modest bite of apple. He scoffed silently at just how much of a typical male he'd sounded like. "I'm just getting my brain to wake up the rest of the way." With that 'convincing' explanation provided, Chris turned his attention back to the strange mannerisms of Chiyo. He couldn't quite profile her behavior. Perhaps it's because I've always been too used to interacting with people when alcohol is involved.

"There are a couple pieces of meat there, help yourself," said Chris. He stretched his back, creating a few sharp cracking sounds. Sleeping on the ground was never pleasant. "You'll need some fruit for energy, though." He didn't look at her as he spoke; he felt too much like a parent lecturing a child, and he didn't quite like that feeling. It seemed awkward.

And so, three strangers shared their first meal in a haunted forest. They sat and talked as the morning light kissed their faces, unsure of what the future might-- Oh for the love of god. Enough of this.