Raiding the Henhouse (Open)

[Blackwhisker]

Open to whoever feels like joining. I'll post at least every other day

Well today’s not been much fun. It’s evening already and all attempts of getting some sort of meal in her gut have gone unjustly rewarded, in other words she’s yet to manage to actually get anything into her gullet.

Hopefully things are about to change.
After wandering through farm fields for the past couple of hours and more, there’s finally something more interesting come up ahead. Human settlement! More importantly, food!

There’s a farmer’s house, a barn with hayloft and what not, a shed and then the most important feature of them all and what’s gotten the young waterdragon’s attention. A henhouse! Oooo! The clucking and feathers and scratching and ruffling of feathers and just all those lovely noises that denote fish in a barrel all ripe for the plucking! Okay, so a mix of metaphors , but you get the point and Blackwhisker isn’t really the brainy sort to register that sort of thing anyway.

Red gaze is fixed on that little boxed dwelling of wire and wood, contemplating how best she can access it’s confines and wring those scrawny necks. Of course without waking the farmer or any of the other human residents. That sort of thing tends to be rather counter-productive. It's not like as if when there’s like twenty chickens that one, two.. four –seven will really be all that missed.
Not really.
Not as much as the farmer’s likely to complain about, sort of.

Anyways, it’s not the farmer that’s the worry at the moment. It’s that bloody big wolfhound and the two little yappers wandering around the back of the main house. Those are going to be the main problem. Perhaps if there had been one or even just the two yappers she could of put them out. But that wolfhound’s going to be a bother if it notices her. It’s as big as her if not bigger on all fours and it’s a reasonable age, so it’s going to know how to attack effectively. The Skuugra doesn’t want to be damaging her scaly hide over a couple of scrawny squawkers even if she hasn’t eaten the last couple of days.

So it’s the waiting game at the moment, huddled down on the edge of the closest field among the long stalks of some sort of cultivated crop or other, watching and waiting for the dogs to settle for the evening so she can go raiding the henhouse.

Pity she’s not exactly the most patient sort of creature.

[Jaleco]

It was evening when Jaleco's boat finally arrived at the port, yet he was not tired. He left his horse to the man who brought him across as payment. He didn't want to grow attatched to something, not again. Kyra never left his dreams, so he decided never to grow close to anything.

As Jaleco walked, searching for some kind of fruit to ease his hunger, a town sat lonely in the distance. He walked towards the place, maybe he would find someone willing to give him a place to stay. On the way to the town, he came across a small farmer's home. It had a barn, a hen house, and a shed. He figured he might as well try to get some rest here.

Jaleco walked towards the barn, hay would be a suitable bed for now. His robe flapped as a cold breeze blew across him. Distracted by the cold, he tripped on a small stone in the ground. The ground rushed up to meet him. He rose, angry about his clumsiness. When he wiped the blood off of his nose, he noticed a large hound shape near the hen house. He dived into a crop of corn in an attempt not to be noticed. While slowly moving back, he noticed a big blue tail lying on the ground, it was attatched to a big blue-white creature.

Jaleco yelped and tried to hide from both the creature and the dogs. "This is getting frustrating," He thought to himself.

[Blackwhisker]

Movement, noise.. a body. Now who's that and what're they doing? Stubby muzzle follows the figure as it stumbles about, disappearing further down the field than herself into the crop. Great, something else to contend with. And with all that nosie they made..

BARKBARKBARK!

Yup, there we go. It got that stupid great big mutt's attention when Blackwhisker had been trying to avoid it! Damned stupid thing! Whatever it is! Well.. maybe it'll get the dog's attention and keep it away from her. That'd be nice if it did. Then she could let the dogs chase it and raid the henhouse without worry of anything but possibly the farmer. Hmn, that's something she hadn't thought of. What if the farmer comes out because of all that noise? Bother.

Anyways, the big ol' noisy wolfhound's bounding off over towards this direction after the scuffle noises and thud from the other figure's faceplant. This means the young Skuugra's backing further into the green of the crop to avoid it's attention. Let the mutt go after the other body.

It's a few uneasy moments as there's sniffling out beyond the crop line and in which Blackwhisker realises the body that had gone by before is now much nearer than she'd like. Her own nostrils flared and sniffing there's that distinct two foot smell much closer and fresher than would be said of the farmer's passing during the day. Damnit!

A hiss of annoyance escapes scaled lips and that's done it.

BARKBARK!

Crap. She just gave herself away and that dog's bounding through the corn stalks in her direction. Well screw that, she isn't going to have some giant mutt trying to rip her throat out. Nope. She's gonna give it that stupid two foot who gave her away! So without further a due, Blackwhisker turns on her feet and bolts off towards where she had scented the human. There he is! Trying to hide and looking somewhat stunned. Well here's more reason to be stunned! A four foot dragon thing, all scale, teeth and claws coming right at him with a snarling barking dog in hot pursuit only a half dozen paces behind.

Hoping to leave the dog with the human Blackwhisker does one of the first things to come to mind and runs straight at the two foot's legs. Ducking out of the way at the last moment she can she bounds around the two foot, tail sweeping in behind her. Perhaps a moment too late even for the last half of her that passes, though this could possibly be just that little bit intentional, as in she wants to trip up the two-foot and send it sprawling for the dog to get.

With the tail lash done she's off onwards past the two-foot and further into the corn field, hopefuly leaving mutt and man behind so as to give her a second chance in which to come back and raid that hen house again.

[Jaleco]

Jaleco jumped up, frustrated and unaware of the dogs rushing at him. Thinking of nothing but revenge, he sprinted after the creature that planned to use him as bait. "Damn thing, I'll show it not to screw with me!" he shouted out.

With the dogs closing in, there weren't very many options. Jaleco looked around, not much to use. The wind rushed past his face a he sped up, it was all he could do if he didn't want to fall too far behind the creature. Behind him the dogs turned, and ran back to the farm. "Well how about that," He thought.

When he looked ahead he couldn't see the beast, so he stopped. "Where did it go?" He asked himself. After a looking around a bit more there was still nothing. So it was back to the town. Walking back, he found the beast again. It was approaching the henhouse while the dogs were no where to be found. He unsheathed his sword and silently approached the tail that dragged behind it.

[Blackwhisker]

Well, with the obvious sounds of pursuit behind her, (evidently the attempt to give the mutts the man hadn’t worked) Blackwhisker’s bolting as fast as her arms and legs will allow her. Damnit, she’d really hoped that two foot would be left on it’s butt again, this time with the dogs harassing it so they’d completely forget about her. Of course luck never does run that way does it? Oh well.

There’s a change in the sounds coming from behind.. ha, the mutt’s have given up the chase, what lousy dogs, but the two foot’s still there, she can hear it crashing through the stalks behind her. Well maybe some evasive action is in need. From previous experiences the Skuugra’s found that two foot’s generally aren’t as adept as well, dogs and other animals at maintaining pursuit, probably something to do with the level they work at. Anyway, time to zigzag!

So with a skidding claws in the dirt she’s off all over the place between the not really very neat cornrows, shows what you get with cheap labor, any who.

Good timing on Blackwhisker’s behalf means there’s suddenly no pursuit behind her and well, actually, it takes her a few more minutes of bounding through the field before she realizes this. When she does there’s still yet another couple of minutes before she stops and has a look back in the direction she’d come from. Well woo, she lost them already. That was easy.. kinda. Hard breathing ensures as she remembers that running like that does tend to take some energy and your puff, so she’s up to recovering that before going about thinking on what to do next.

Breath back again it’s time to start thinking once more. Thoughts bound about much like she’d been doing through the field a short while ago until it stops and settles on.. food. Yup, food, she’s hungry still and she wants to damned well eat. Little black whiskers twitch and nostrils flare in mild annoyance as she puts two and two together and realizes she’s just been jipped out of her meal and well, she’s not going to just here and take that. Nope, she’s going to go get her meal again!


So a short while later the young Skuugra’s once more eyeing off the henhouse from the grain field with all thoughts on wringing scrawny little feathered necks. Evidently there’s been some time passed as the dogs are back near the farmhouse laid down and dozing, looking very much like they’ve been in such a state for at least a good five minutes. Hmn, must of gotten a bit lost on the way back, ah well, no biggie, just means less trouble from them for when she does finally get access to the chooks!

With all thoughts on the henhouse and it’s occupants and the fact she’s downwind of it there’s no sense what so ever that she’s being snuck up on. Probably not the best or smartest thing, then again Blackwhisker isn’t the smartest creature in the realm or even the local area by a very wide stretch. Anyway, food’s just a dozen paces away and she’s much too hungry to care about anything other than filling her gullet.

So with no thought as to what could be behind her the Skuugra’s darted off across that short clear distance from the cornrow to the chicken wire fencing around the henhouse. Of course there’s no one out and about scratching at this moment but that’s not important, the important bit is that she can actually get past this sort of obstacle in a much easier fashion than your standard predator.

Attention fully on the wirework, all sounds and anything else of consequence is blocked from her mind. As carefully and quietly as someone who doesn’t really have much skill in those areas can Blackwhisker makes her way towards the other side of the wire fencing and the small gate that will allow entrance within.

Now.. just as long as nothing gets those dogs or the farmer’s attention again… she should be fine! At least, one can only assume.. hopefully.

[Jaleco]

Jaleco waited in the small coop, preparing for the dragon to try and enter. Of course, Jaleco was prepared this time. The farmer had been forwarned. He was shocked by the news, and had his dogs pretend to sleep. Once the creature enters the henhouse, everyone would attack.

Jaleco looked around, there was an empty shelf to his right, he climbed it and hid. The hens were all removed so as to reduce the noise. Jaleco heard footsteps outside. He peeked over the edge of the shelf, ready to strike at first sight of the thing.

The door flew open and a foot creeped in. Just a little bit more. The creature showed it's head and Jaleco jumped! The dogs rushed up behind it and jumped as well. It was surrounded.

[Rith]

Growing into the evening and wandering around the contry side Rith finialy spotted a home off in the distance and decided to head towards it to ask the farmer if he could spend the night in the barn. As he came closer to the house he noticed what seemd to be a large blue object creeping into the barn. Rith pulled out his bow and began a spint towards the henhouse.

After about 45 seconds of quick paced sprinting, he pulled out an arrow from his quiver and notched it upon the string. Just as he had done so, he yelled halt beast to the blue object. Within a second two large dogs jumped and the farmer came running out of the house. After seeing one of the dogs charging that blue beast, another turned its attention upon Rith.

He cried to the farmer "That beast is going for your chickens, call your dog off or I'll put an arrow into it's thick skull." The farmer paid no attention and seemingly didnt even notice Rith standing off to the side of his home. The dog was not called off and Rith let his arrow fly towards the dog. Rith missed, and oddly he was not suprised. It had been years since he fired an arrow at an approaching creature intent on killing him and the pressure got to him. That split second of thought nearly cost him. He jumped out of the way taking a paw to the chest sending him to his rear. Rith pulled his dagger just as the dog came down to rip out his neck and jabbed it in the dogs upper right shoulder.

The dog yelped and, Rith pulled the dagger and jabbed it into the dogs underbelly and again into it's neck. The thrid strike put the dog on the ground. With the uncontrolled wimpering of the dog and Rith's heart pounding he suddenly remembered the best at the barn. He wearily stood up and looked over amazed to see what had happened...

[Jaleco]

Jaleco landed on the beast, driving his sword as hard as he could. It was to no avail. It pierced the scales, but not by much. The thing thrashed and flailed about, trying to rid itself of the pest above it.

"Halt beast!" Jaleco heard from beyond the walls of the coop. One of the dogs ran off, leaving a large gap in their defense. The creature darted towards the flaw. The farmer threw his pitchfork at it, while Jaleco kept stabbing. The remaining dogs launched them selves into the air and rushed down. Their deadly teeth sank into the scales. Blood slowly dripped out of the wounds, making the monster howl in rage. The sounds echoed and reverberated all throughout the place. Jaleco was finally tossed away from the creatures back. He landed hard on the ground, breaking a few ribs.

A man ran up to Jaleco and the farmer, panting hard. They were all weary from the fight, especially Jaleco, who went through numerous encounters with the beast. "My name is Rith," The stranger introduced nobly.

"I'm Jaleco," Jaleco replied breathlessly. "I shouldn't of wasted so much of my energy."

"Let's get you inside, my wife will fix you up," Offered the farmer. Jaleco was taken inside and bandaged up while Rith and the farmer got the chickens back in the coop. After that the farmer introduced himself as Chase and his wife as Kayla. They all got some rest before the next morning, though it wasn't plentiful. Jaleco, despite his injuries, wanted to leave. Rith had to hold him back.

After a few days, the creature came back. Jaleco tried to get up in an attempt to chase it off, but was kept inside. Rith and Chase went out. The beast glared at them and, instead of fleeing, charged them!

[Rith]

Despite the beat's wounds from the previous days, it seemed at perfect health. This beast was intent on getting its revenge on the farmer and Jaleco for whatever the reasons may have been. Rith told Chase to go back inside and that he would do his best to settle the matter, quickly and indefinitely.

Rith drew his bow and notched an arrow. He aimed at the charging beast and drew the string back, aiming for the softer under skin between the beast's leg and shoulder. He let the arrow fly and it was a hit. He struck the beast directly underneath its left shoulder. He quickly notched another and fired at the spot again, this time no luck. The arrow just soared over the back of the beast and bounced from the thick hide near its rear. As the animal was nearly there at him, Rith had hardly enough time to fire one more shot. He took his chances and notched his last arrow, this time aiming for the beast's neck. Rith let his last arrow fly from the string and with a bit of luck it struck the beast, not in the neck though. The arrow managed to wedge itself deep between the shoulder and back of the raging animal’s foremost right leg. There didn’t seem to be any penetration on the beast but that arrow looked rather uncomfortable wedged in there.

Rith threw his bow off to his right side where it landed in the chicken coop. He also stripped his quiver from his back and drew his battleaxe. Rith took a defensive stance and awaited the charge. He thought silently to himself, this beast looks familiar. There was no time to try and remember old friends at this time though, this thing wanted him dead. Prepared, but frightened he had hopes to survive the initial strike, but was unsure of how lucky he was going to be, seeing as this thing was nearly twice his size, twice as angry, and was not going to back down. Rith prayed to himself that he would luckily just make it through this damned ordeal alive.

[Blackwhisker]

Oooookay.. Well I'm a little lost with how this has turned with you two.. But I'll just work myself around it.

Before Blackwhisker had even had the chance to step within the coop, noises abounded and she’d frozen stock still. Behind there was yelling, in front there was crashing and thudding of something being attacked. Ha.. Someone else had her idea did they?

Already at the doorway at the side of the wire fence, the young Skuugra stuck her short muzzle in to peer and find.. well.. a two foot and another blue tinged monster creature battling it out. Oh well bother. Where’d that come from?

Barking behind and the noisy shout of farmer and another man cause Blackwhisker to quickly pull herself away from the doorway and look towards the farmhouse. A man on the ground, dogs going off their heads and another two foot with eyes on her scaly hide. Awful lot of commotion and none of it beneficial for her at this point.

An oof as suddenly she’s shoved aside, the other blue monster with the two foot atop crashing past her in it’s effort to escape the henhouse with it’s own scales in tact. Sprawled on the ground and a little dazed Blackwhisker hisses, the corner of her eye watching as the monster manages to finally dislodge the two-foot from it’s back and then run off, another dog worrying it from behind.
For that matter, an annoying yappy sound at her own tail is saying quite insistently that there’s another mutt (of the smaller variety) trying to make a show of scaring her off. Another hiss and a quick thrust of a back leg sends that dog rolling with a high pitched yelp and she’s up on all fours to get her hide out of here.

With all the attention on the other monster that’s sizably bigger than her, at least half again over her own stance, Blackwhisker’s all for making herself scarce. No point dragging all that anger her way.
So using the nighttime shadows to her advantage the Skuugra slinks off as fast as her four feet will take her back towards the cornrows and hopefully events more profitable.

Really, this was much more fuss than chickens have any right to be.

~~~

The night time hours nearly gone, with the sun peeking up from the horizon has Blackwhisker a good dozen fields at least away from the farm she’d had all intentions of raiding some hours earlier. Still hungry and coming to a foul mood she finds her path crossing that of another creature’s. One who’s been leaving a trail behind of not so pleasant things. Hmn..

A nostril twitch says that though the main over powering scent of something scaly isn’t going to lend itself to anything good, the underlying one of young flesh says something of a possible meal. So with thoughts on her gut Blackwhisker’s off following the trail that’s been left by something bigger than herself through the wheat field.

Another hour’s journey has the field gone and a small thicket standing before her reeking of something large and scaly with a taste for putrid flesh. Well, not what Blackwhisker would pick for a home, but then she’s not one for picking places in general to stay at very long. Earfins fanning and crimson gaze weary she takes her time to pass through the thin line of trees to find where her nose is taking her. It’s not a hard trail to follow, with splashes of blood here and there and the reek of death getting stronger as she goes it’s quite obvious she’s going in the right direction.

It’s the slowly growing sounds of hisses and squeaks that cause her to pause to the edge of a large bramble patch. Youth and young! Food! Easy to get and kill food! Well.. as long as it’s not too big and mama and papa aren’t too close by. Yes! Finally she can eat!

More than a little excited she crouches down low and makes her way further in between the trees, nostrils flared and senses on the alert to the possibility of something big and angry that could possibly not appreciate a predator so close to it’s young. Lucky for her she’s timed this well and big ol’ nasty mamma of the babes is long gone again from it’s short time visit to it’s young. There’s no fear of danger here for the likes of the young Skuugra.

At the edge of a small den that holds the stench of death and decay Blackwhisker eyes around to see nothing worth a worry. Wonderful! A nostril twitch tells her that she’s scented the home owner before and not so long ago. Passing thoughts speak of blue and big, the creature she’d met the night before perhaps? But such things are not helpful and are quickly gone from mind. No, it’s those much louder squeaks and squeals of youth unguarded that have Blackwhisker’s attention and finding no one here to stop her, she’s off down into the den to meet her long awaited meal.

Me and another monster, as otherwise you two have been bunnying me horribly without permission and well, that's a no no. And just to clear it up. First half is last night with the first monster attack, second half is the morning where you two are after the other monster again who's mama to the young in the den Blackwhisker's in now, which is some distance from the farm but there is a trail if someone has any sort of tracking ability.

[Rith]

I only played off of Jaleco's post to try and keep the story moving. I tried to keep it down to bare minimum but I had little to work with... Sorry about it though. If you need to bunny me by any means do so. Just dont do anything drastic.

The morning came too soon. Rith had managed to run off that damned blue beast, but he paid a price for it. He suffered from a large gash to his abdomen, what felt like a few bruised ribs, bruises all over and some scratches on his arms and back where he slid across the ground. When that thing charged, he managed to somehow swing his axe and actually hit that thing. His attempt of a swing wouldn’t even be called a swing by most, hell if any. It was more along the lines of just having the living crap knocked out of you and your weapon flying up into the air. But that was all that he needed. His axe went straight into the beast’s under-shoulder, the same shoulder his arrow was in. With that bit of luck the blade managed to slice right through the soft fleshy meat of its belly and leg. The gash was nearly 3 foot long and easily a couple inches deep. A fatal blow not on contact, but that thing would surely bleed to death within a night’s time.

It was clearly enough to have that thing not wanting to come back for more because it didn’t even slow down. When it made contact with Rith, it didn’t bother to even slow down after they exchanged blows. The blue creature made its way directly to the field it came from and ran off.

After seeing what happened between Rith and that wretched beast, Jaleco and Chase thought for sure he was dead. He lay on the ground where the thing had charged him and sent him back nearly 8 feet from a direct blow to the chest area. They both ran to Rith to see if he was still alive, they hoped for the best but expected the worst. When they got over to him they quickly noticed he was not moving and bleeding from his stomach.

~~~

Bloody, bruised, scratched, but breathing, Rith awoke early next morning in a spare bedroom of the farmhouse. The first thing he noticed was that his torso had been bandaged and there was an inky red blood stain coming from the right of the once cotton white bandages. He went to sit up and as he did so he let out a cursing yell. Everyone came running to the room within the minute. All groggy and clearly stunned to even see he was alive, none expected Rith to live through the night.

When the others entered the room, Rith looked to them and just asked “What in the hell happened?”

Chase explained to him how the beast charged him and ran off into the fields. He also told Rith that he managed to gash the beast because there was an awful lot of blood where they picked him up from the night before. They also told him that there may have been a trail left behind because just from where they stood, they could clearly see blood trailing off into the darkness. Chase and Jaleco were both unaware of where or how fatal the blow was to the beast.

This was all the motivation Rith needed to swing his legs off to the side of the bed and make an attempt at standing. It seemed all at once Chase, his wife, and Jaleco all shouted “NO!” to him. Chase’s wife told Rith he was in no condition to leave, but being the stubborn and hardheaded one he was, he grinded through the pain of sitting down to standing.

He took a step and realized that the pain was somewhat worse standing up and that sitting down was much better than standing. Rith looked to Chase and said “How many steeds do you have?”

Chase looked and said “I have 8 for the wagons when we go to town to trade our excess harvest. Why do you ask?”

“You told me I had managed to hurt that god be damned beast that hit me last night. I want to make sure it’s dead. That thing nearly killed me and I’m going to make sure that it’s where it fucking belongs, dead and rotting in a pit in hell. I’ll be leaving within the hour with or with your help.”

“Please Rith, there’s no need for the language, I understand you’re angry about it nearly killing you. But Rith, you’re obviously in no condition to travel, and what if it’s still alive and charges you again? What are you going to do about that? There’s no way you will survive from another attack.”

“I guess I’ll just have to take my chances then won’t I? I ask for a horse for myself and one for Jaleco.” Rith turns to Jaleco and stares at him and says, “That of course if you are willing to.”

Rith turns back to Chase and says, “I’ll return your horse when that thing is dead, you have my word.”

Chase stands quietly and looks over to his wife, then to Jaleco, and back to Rith. “I’ll lend you the horse, one to Jaleco too, if he decides to join you. If you do not return, I’ll just presume you’re dead. If a horse is killed, I will not hold you in debt for that either. You have obviously showed your true colors by willing to help out strangers in trouble, and I owe you for it. If you’ll accept this as my payment to you because if you wouldn’t have come along I’m sure we would have been slaughtered, or at least my chickens would have. But none the less, you can use the horses and if there is anything else you need before you leave please tell me.”

Rith looked at the farmer and began, “The horses will be plenty.” Rith looked over to Jaleco and finished, “Now will you join me?”

[Jaleco]

"I could go for an adventure. Besides, someone's got to protect you," Jaleco said with a grin on his face. "Our injuries might get in the way, but there's still two of us."

Rith and Jaleco thanked Chase and Kayla before parting. Rith struggled to climb the mount, sweating from the effort. Jaleco had a rough time as well. "Hopefully the blood hasn't faded," Rith thought aloud.

"Ehh, if it has, we'll just have to look around. The woods aren't too big," Jaleco replied sarcastically. As the two set off, their wounds were throbbing with pain. Jaleco swore that he heard his ribs clinking together in sync with the steed's trodding. Rith's gash reopened from the strain, blood trickling down from the saturated bandages.

The creature's blood was not splotches, but a continuous trail. This made it obvious that the beast was bleeding terribly. They continued to follow the trail, not stopping for any rest. After an hour or so of pain and boredom, they came across a decaying creature. The same creature that they had previously fought, yet something about it wasn't the same. After a bit of pondering, they saw that it was a different gender. This was the one that they had faced two nights ago, and the one that Jaleco had chased. Or that's at least the one he believed it to be. They figured that the two were mates, perhaps that was why they fought viciously and left quickly. There must of been eggs or children somewhere close.

The continued to follow the blood, searching for the male. The blood suddenly ended near a small pond. The father was dead, close to the water. In the water were bone of all sorts, and half eaten carcasses of the young. Jaleco and Rith figured that the father had ate them in an attempt to live. Little did they know that a young Skuugra had previously been, ate, and left. They both began to return to the farm, glad that the trouble was finally over.

Just to be clear, neither of the dead Skuugras were you. The one that I chased was you. The one that entered the coop was the female, looking for food for her young. The one that Rith fought was the male. So you're still out there Blackwhisker. That's why the next day, it's wounds seemed completely healed as Rith said, it was the other Skuugra.

[Rith]

The two trotted along on the horses, bored out of their minds for about an hour into the sunrise. Rith examined his bandage that covered his wound all the while groaning. Rith looked over to Jaleco and couldn't help but run what he had said back at the farmhouse through his head.

"Besides, someone's got to protect you." GAH! I dont need protection, I can handle myself just fine, all these humans thinking I cant take care of myself. If only they knew what it was like to be half dwarf. Why am I even making a deal out of this? He was willing to help depsite his slight injuries, oh well.

Soon after they found the body of the beast. Rith quickly dismounted from his horse and fell to the ground. Grabbing his side and letting out a cry of pain, he regained himself, slowly but surely and got back to his feet. He walked over to the beast and sood over it examining it from nose to tail.

Rith began to talk outloud not necessairly to Jaleco but more to himself, "Glad this damn thing is dead, sorry excuse for an animal. Surely I've seen one of these before, even a friendly one. No matter, this one's dead and good riddance to it."

Rith looked to Jaleco still mounted on his horse. He stared back at the dead body that lay before him and pushed against it's body with his foot. These things have some really tough scales, it would make a great hide armor. I wonder if I could skin enough to make a suitable piece of breast plate underarmor, possibly a helm and bracers. Rith grabbed his dagger from his waistband and leaned over the thing's body.

"You know what these things are called? I've seen them before but many years ago."

"Skuugras," was the simple answer from Jaleco.

Rith shoved his dagger within the back of the Skuugra near its neck where he thought it's hide to be toughest. He began cutting away the hide in a fashon that would create a long sheared set of scales nearly 3 foot wide and almost 6 feet in length. It took nearly 30 minutes to competely strip the scales off the thing's back. Rith hadn't paid really any mind to Jaleco while he was cutting away at the beast's back. He turned over his shoulder and saw the man stairing off into the field mindlessly, probably just daydreaming. Rith pulled the sheared piece of hide from the animal's back and folded it in a fashon that so it could be used to cover part of the horse's back nad used as a cushon.

"Where to now?" Rith asked to Jaleco in a voice that seemed to startle the man.

Blackwhisker... You've got to make yourself a part of this story involving us somehow. We try to interact with you but you in a sense just keep going away, almost like you're writing a solo... I'm trying but seeing as you keep moving away I'm not sure what to write next. Hopefuly you'll run into us soon while we're stopped or something because it seems we're writing 2 different stories. Anyways looking forward to seeing what you write next...

[Blackwhisker]

Death had come quick and by surprise to the small monsters deep within their den. Blackwhisker had given very little warning and well, the little scaly creatures weren’t old enough to truly realize their danger until much too late. If they’d been older possibly it would have been a struggle or cause for trouble on Blackwhisker’s behalf. But nope, all was good and finally the young Skuugra had gotten herself a kill and a filling meal for the first time in she couldn’t be sure how long. Counting days not really being a thing worthy of much thought and all.

She hadn’t spent long in the den after the kill, there was no telling when mama or papa were going to turn up again and to be perfectly honest she had no intention of being anywhere near by when they returned. Blackwhisker had killed a nest of birds when much younger once and found out the hard way that staying by the kill for the parents to find afterwards was not much fun at all. Lots of noise and scratching, pecking fun. No, it was much better to just kill, eat and be gone as quickly and with as little fuss as possible.
Sure, her belly was now telling her to snooze since it was full and content but her head was actually thinking enough for once to tell her that staying in the thicket would not be a good idea.

So the landlocked seadragon had headed off once more despite that strong belly wish to just lay down and sleep, to get the rest she hadn’t received the night before. It would have to wait though.. wait until she could get herself away from any sign of danger or the prospect of confrontation with anything bigger than small, fuzzy and half her size.



First off, sorry for not having been able to post. I’ve been busy with school stuff and work and haven’t had the time to just sit down and get a chance to type a response.

Second, yes, Blackwhisker is ‘going away’ as I have nothing more to add for my character (There’s nothing that would lead her to interact with your two characters again at this point in time without breaking character) and I’m going to suggest to the both of you to do finishing posts as it would probably be better for you two to start another thread together to continue your adventure doing whatever as I can no longer lend input instead of continuing this one.

Finally I have to object to your representation of my character species. Just skimming over my profile history will tell you that there’s pretty much no way the ‘other monsters’ could possibly be Skuugra. Skuugra are seadragons, they come from the ocean, a long long way away from where the current setting is. Skuugra breeding grounds are under the sea, they lay their eggs in sea caverns and they have absolutely no parental instinct past laying their eggs somewhere reasonably safe.
A full grown Skuugra measures twice a man’s height and over three times a man in length, has scales more than strong enough not to be dented by a good steel sword and they’re not just big dumb monsters.
Getting past the fact Skuugra don’t look after their young, a full grown adult one that is capable of having babies would not go after chickens, it would kill men and it would kill them with ease. And if those were too much trouble it would go for at least sheep if not cows. There is no way that the monsters played so far could possibly be Skuugra without editing my whole character concept.

Sorry if I've sounded snippy anywhere here. Anyway, if there’s something else that you’d like to say I’m open to being messaged as apposed to clogging this thread with ooc business and such. Thanks for your time and joining me even if it didn’t lead to too much, least on my behalf.

[Letho]

General Notes: There is one thing that I would like to say to all three of you, one word that would’ve prevented from numerous issues ever occurring. Communication. Communication between the three of you would’ve helped greatly. PM each other with ideas, IM each other, make an out of character thread in the Roleplayer's Corner, email, send smoke signals, but get in touch with each other. This thread is a perfect example of how an open, play-by-ear thread can go downhill if people don’t talk to each other. Also, there is a thing we call “bunnying” here on Althanas. It is when you roleplay a character that is not your own and we frown upon it unless it is approved and discussed between the person that bunnies and the person that is being bunnied. But there will be more talk about that later. Now, the rubric...



CONTINUITY – 4

There are two main reasons why a score is this low. First, Blackwhisker, while your character was the only one that had a plausible reason to be at that farmer’s house, you didn’t leave much of an opening for your fellow rpers other then that they just kind of plodded along the road and ran into the farmstead. Which both of them took, of course, thus utilizing one of the most cliché introductions. You just happened to be there. This is not a creative way to enter a thread. And even if you do decide for this approach, there still has to be some reasoning behind it, some explanation why your character was there, why was he walking down that particular road, where was he coming from, why was the farmer attacked by monsters, why are you helping him? One of the most important questions you need to answer with your writing is why is the story taking place.

SETTING – 3

“It had a barn, a hen house, and a shed.” I pulled this sentence out of one of the posts and, with an addition of the corn field, it about describes the setting. My advice to all of you is to expand on everything. Let me know what kind of a roof the barn has, is the road covered with dry dirt or damp mud, if the corn leaves cut at your forearms, if the air smells of horsedung, is there a wind setting the leaves in motion, is farmer’s wife a hottie, does their house have that earthy peasant smell, EVERYTHING that your senses would’ve picked up if you were actually there. Having too much details can be harmful, but not as much as having none at all.

PACING – 3

This is one of the aspects of the quest that the aforementioned lack of communication hurt the most. Your posts didn’t click with each other, you failed to smoothly link the beginning of your post to the end of the previous one, there were moments when entire days were skipped, and then there were moments where some new things popped out of nowhere. Try to maintain a constant flow of a story, not to make it monotonous, but to have a heading that you can all follow. Jaleco, I have an advice that might help you with this, a simple rule to follow when questing with others. In your post, acknowledge what others are doing, make your character (and only your character) respond to what others are doing and move the story a step forward. Not two or three or ten steps, but just one, just to give others something to work with. Like when you first saw Rith, for example. You acknowledge his appearance, you finish your attack on the beast and you approach to him and introduce yourself. Don’t bunny the other character into responding and then get them all in the house and jump forward in the timeline a day or two.

DIALOGUE – 5

The dialogue kind of blended into the grayness of this thread. Partially it was because some of the dialogue was not written by the character’s owner which made it unnatural. Rith written by Rith sounds different then Rith written by Jaleco. There were also times when I felt like the dialogue was spoken by a figure made of cardboard, especially the communication between Rith and the farmer. Try to put more emotions into the dialogue via body gestures and different tones of voice.

ACTION – 2

I’m sorry, but all the bunnying and confusion and beasts popping out of nowhere made me strain in order to understand what was actually going on. As I said in my General Notes, bunnying shouldn’t occur unless it is explicitly allowed by the other party, and in case that happens, I would like a notification that it was allowed. There was a moment where Jaleco writes that he’s attacking a blue beast and then everybody is attacking the blue beast, and the only blue beast that was in the story up until that point was Blackwhisker. Only three posts later, in an OOC note, I realize that it wasn’t Blackwhisker. You need to make your actions clear, meaningful and justifiable.

PERSONA – 4

I want to see more of your characters in your posts from all of you. If Jaleco is frustrated, tell me why he is frustrated. If Rith is charging out of the house to defend the farmers, tell me why is he doing it and how does he feel while doing it? Is he scared? Is he cocky? If the farmer’s wife is screaming “NO!”, tell me is there concern in her voice. The only easily recognizable part of persona in the whole story was Blackwhisker’s simple desire to get its belly filled with food as soon as possible, and that saying something. Persona is what makes characters alive, it’s what gives them all those big, important characteristics and little quirks that make them differ from each other.

MECHANICS – 4

A lot of typos from all of you. I think most of you don’t run your post through spellcheckers. If you don’t have on your computer, there are always some available online. Blackwhisker, you forget to put commas in a lot of places which sometimes makes your posts difficult to read. Example: “Ducking out of the way at the last moment she can she bounds around the two foot, tail sweeping in behind her.” If you try to read that “...moment she can she bounds around...” part fast, you can see it forces the reader to re-read and that’s never good. This should be “....moment she can, she bounds around...”. Also, watch for tense shifts. There are moments where you jump from the present tense to past in several sentences.

TECHNIQUE – 3

Nothing too fancy here. I think the three of you spent more time trying to figure out what to write in order push the story forward then you did at the way you are pushing that story forward. Take more time when you’re writing your post, re-read, edit if a better word/device comes to your mind.

CLARITY – 2

There is a simple general rule that I tend to adhere to and it says that if something needs to be explained in OOC notes, then it wasn’t written in the right way. And there were a lot of OOC notes in this post. Clarity too was a victim of your failure to communicate with each other and hash out the details. Even after the post is up you can PM each other and ask one another to do some edits. Try to keep OOC to PMs and IMs.

WILD CARD – 6

All first lessons are hard... Well, most are anyways, and for all three of you this is the first Althanas lesson. I’m probably a rather harsh teacher, but hopefully all three of you will realize that my comments and harshness aren’t here because I’m mean, but to help you better yourselves as writers.





TOTAL SCORE – 36

Congratulations!!!



SPOILS:

Blackwhisker gets 220 EXP and finds 50 GP on her way out of the lair
Jaleco gets 200 EXP and the farmer gives him 50 GP for helping him with the beasts
Rith gets 200 EXP and the scaly pelt that he later sells for 75 GP


EXP/GP added!