International Althanian Jester's Association

[hamnat]

Haha. Jokes, bombs, firecrackers, and funny dances away! This time, let's laugh it up! Tell your best jokes or about something funny. Here's a chance to work on your standup routine. Now get out there, act silly, and make us laugh!

Note: try to avoid spamming. Don't just post one line saying "lol!!" or "omg, hella funny!" Go ahead and comment on others jokes, but add one or two of your own, as well.

[Die Sieben]

There's a child up past his bedtime and he sneaks downstairs from his bedroom and sees his parents having sex on the couch. The next day he asks his mother, "What were you and daddy doing last night on the couch?"

The mother replies, "Oh honey, we were just making donuts."

A few hours later the child goes his father and says, "I know what you and mommy were doing on the couch last night."

The father asks, "What's that, son?"

The child's eyes light up, "You were making donuts, I licked the frosting off the couch!"

(First American joke I ever heard.)

[hamnat]

That doesn't say much about American's, now does it.:(

[ontopic]
So there's this nun, see... and she's heard all about the agnostic scientists that live in Antarctica. So, she decides to make a mission trip to Antarctica to try and convert them to the faith. When she sits down to her first meal, a scientist walks up and slaps a raw fish onto the nun's plate.

The nun looks up at him in disgust and says, "What is the meaning of this!?"

The scientist takes a step back and says, "My apologies, sister! I've always observed that penguins eat this."

*bow*

[grim137]

Warning: The following jokes may be considered offensive to women with no sense of humor.

Why don't women need a watch?
Because there is a clock on the oven.

Why did the women cross the road?
That's not the point, why isn't she in the kitchen?

[Fenris]

Ooh, them's fightin' words. Almost as bad as a joke a rather...interesting friend of mine told...which I don't think I'll repeat, since there's an awful lot of armed females about...


Sherlock Holmes and Watson go camping. They have a marvelous time, pitching the tent, building the fire, fishing in a nearby creek. Sherlock, of course, deduces all the best fishing spots while Watson takes notes.

That night, they roast some fish and share some wine before crawling into their sleeping bags to get some shuteye.

Later that night, Sherlock awakes and nudges Watson.

"Watson, look up. What do you see?"

Watson looks up. "I see millions of stars."

"And what does that mean to you?"

Watson sees that this is his chance to impress his deducingly-inclined friend.

"Well, horologically, it tells me that it's about two o'clock in the morning. Meteorologically, it tells me we're likely to have fine weather tomorrow. Astrologically, it tells me that children born tonight have a good chance of developing a taste for prunes. Theologically, it tells me that the mind of God must be great and vast to number the stars and call them all by name, as the Good Book says. Astronomically, it tells me that the workings of the universe are great and complex, and our planet is greatly insignificant in comparison to the greatness of the galaxy."

He pauses, feeling rather pleased with himself.

"Why? What does it mean to you?"

Sherlock ponders this for a moment.

"Someone has stolen our tent."

[Zook Murnig]

A little girl sees her mother sucking her father's dick one night, and the next day she asks her mommy if that's where babies come from.

The mother chuckles knowingly. "No, dear. That's where jewelry comes from."

[grim137]

Here's one Cory (Lucien) will like, the funny part is it was my dad who told me this joke (that should tell you something about my family):

Whats the difference between a microwave and gay sex?
A microwave won't brown your meat.

[Zook Murnig]

A guy walks into a bar.

He gets up and rubs his head.