How do I say goodbye...

[Witchblade]

Not many of the members outside of the mod forum know this, but my aunt has been extremely ill since the middle of January. She has a number of problems including kidney failure, a bloodclot on her heart, seizures, and one or more small strokes that have occurred and an infection.

They're stopping her treatment at the hospital today because it's not helping her and her mentallity is detoriating. They think small pieces of the bloodclot are breaking off and going into her brain. Witout her dialises, the toxins in her system will eventually overcome her. They're guessing she'll be dead in a week.

So you guys are going to be a lot less of me, even though since this has started I've already been around less. If I'm in a quest with you I don't plan on dropping out, but my writing wont be at it's best.

[Karuka]

*Pats on shoulder*

It's more important that you spend time with your aunt than with us right now, Witchy.

Just make sure that if you get a chance to, you say anything and everything that needs to be said, even if some of it is angry or sad. It'll be good for the both of you... and not leave you with the all-too common regret of having a loved one die without having said everything.

[Reiko]

yeah take it easy while this happens. Sounds really tough but don't worry about Althanas.

[Witchblade]

I don't worry about Althanas... I just think I'll welcome it as a distraction when I need it.

I'm not looking forward to going into work today and explaining my GM why I need some time off. I don't think I'll make it through without breaking down... At least he's the kind of boss that will care.

[grim137]

I wouldn't worry about explaining why you need some time off, since you actually have a real legitamit reason. Unless the guy's a total dick he should understand. Hope things do work out for you and its always sad when a family member dies, particularly if you were close to them, which is sounds like you are.

[Letho]

While I can't say I know exactly what you're going through, Witchy, I went through a similar thing with my father and I know that "hard" doesn't even begin to describe how it is to deal with this sort of thing. Stuff like Althanas are rather trivial and fade away in comparison with a situation so grave. I hope that this goodbye won't lead towards some final goodbye and that with time you'll be able to find not only distraction in Althanas, but joy as well.

Mors Principium Est.

[Storm Veritas]

I'm really sorry you and your family are forced to deal with this, Witchy. I hope you can be there for her, tell her how much you love her, and I hope she passes as peacefully as possible. We'll miss you when you're gone.

[Whiteshadow]

Cameron and I will miss you.

[Jaleco]

I don't know you very well, but I just went through a similar experience with my uncle. My advice is to be with her as much as you can for these next few days. It might make you sad to see her like that, but it will show that you extremely care for her. It will also make it easier on her part. I'm really sorry that this has to happen. Also remember what Karuka said, I completely agree with her. When my uncle died, I didn't get to say a lot of things, and it hurt. Just try to be with her.

[Dissinger]

Hey, good luck with that. I know you have my number, so if you feel up to stalking me again, feel free to come a ringing. I'll at the very least try to call back if I'm on shift when you call.

[Cyrus the virus]

Love you, friend. I'm still around if you ever want to talk. *sloppy kiss*

[Farmboy]

I understand what it's like to be around a sickly relative. Maybe not as extreme in this case, but still, I feel your pain, if only slightly. So just take all the time in the world; you need to focus on you and your aunt's well-being for the moment. Good luck and try your best, I hope you can come back some day. : ]

[aesculus]

You're lucky to have time with your aunt. Family is much more important than anything else. *hugs* see you back here when you're good and ready.

[Zerith]

Personally, I'm really sorry to hear nothing has improved with her condition. I know it's been rough, especially considering the ammount of times we talked about it.

I have a slight understand of what your going through, but not entirely. Either way, Becky and I are still thinking of you and your family during this time.

Of course you know if you ever want to get out of the house, we're just a call away. We can even team up on your one slave and kick his ass if it'll cheer you up.

[Elrundir]

*hugs Witchy*

I may not be able to say I know what that's like, but I certainly sympathize with you. Take all the time you need. Shall I distribute the... cookies to the new members in your absence? I have no interest in stealing human property so you can trust me. (b")b

Anyway, we'll miss you, Witchy. You just take care and spend as much time with her as you can. If I know one thing, it's that that's what'll matter the most to her.

[Witchblade]

Thanks for your support guys...

Elrundir, you're in charge of those cookies. Diss, I just might take you up on that offer and have another go at tele-stalking you. :p Anyone else who's given me their number be afraid, be, very, very afraid.

*returns Cyrus' sloppy kiss*

You'd be surprised how much coming home to just a few simple messages kind of lightens one's day. And I didn't need to explain anything to management, just said it was a family emergency. But I still have two more days of work to get through... I just hope I can make it.

[Ürei]

Witch, I wish you well for the next few months.

I know what it feels like to be dying, and I know personally that what everyone has said is true, having people there is the best thing in the world.

[AdventWings]

:(

*Hugs Witchy*

Best of wishes and May the Stars Shine Brightly.

[Witchblade]

She's gone now...

She passed away at 8:30 this morning. My mom and I rushed down to the hospital as fast as we could but she was already gone by the time we got there.

I want my aunt back...

[Elrundir]

*hugs Witchy*

I don't know what to say, but, I'm sorry. I can only imagine how hard it must be.

[Artifex Felicis]

Losing someone is always tough. I know. Remember the better times and it'll help a bit. Also, talk about it if you can. Makes it feel better.

I hope that you have clear skies from now on, and keep her with you wherever you go.

[Karuka]

This might seem cliche...but you still have the memories, and the emotions.

It hurts now, since you've lost someone so close...

...but in a way, you'll never lose your aunt.

[Reiko]

*hugs witchy as well*

I'm really sorry that this happened, living with death is tough. I hope things will go well in the future for you. I really don't know what to say.

[aesculus]

This is making me feel the same way I did when my grandfather passed away not too long ago. It's pretty cliche but she's gone to a better place, and that one day both of you will meet again. You just remember the good times and know she's watching over you.

[Witchblade]

Thanks guys...

I just... don't know. It's like there are times of normalcy where I can laugh and smile and then I remember what happened this morning and all I want to do is curl up in a little ball and cry. Which is basically what I'm doing right now, minus the ball.

I'm just going to miss her so much.

[Reiko]

yeah that's how grief works, it'll pass and normalcy will once again be most of the time. Just take it easy and go on with your life but don't be afraid to cry, nothing wrong with crying, it helps cope with tragedy.

[Karuka]

It'll be good for you to cry right now...don't be afraid of it.

And if anyone's like "we don't cry when someone dies, you should act more like an adult," tell them to shove it.

[Zerith]

*hugs* I'm really sorry that it had to happen this way.

And I'm really sorry to hear you walked all the way to my place this morning in the rain. You know I would've met up with you halfway or something.

If it'll help make you smile, I'll go post one of our Dane Cook/althanas skits.

...Or I can go kick Lisean's ass. Whatever works best.

[Artifex Felicis]

Keep yourself busy. With anything. I foudn that to be the best thing to do whenever something bad happened like a family member died. Possibly nothing that matters terribly in the long run, but writing, drawing, baseball, running, anything helps. It also works best if you do something that the person who died enjoyed as well. It helps to honor them in that way.

[Elrundir]

It's okay, Witchy. We cry for a reason. It doesn't make us weak or silly. The silly thing is to keep things bottled up instead. Grief is quite the phenomenon, especially when it centers around things we have no control over. But all I do know is that it lets us get past them.

And maybe it's just me, but if I were her, and looking down on the people I knew in life, it would do me good to know that they were crying over me, at least for a little while. Grief is just a way of remembering their life and the ways in which they touched you.

[Beauty]

*hugs Witchy* i know how you feel. I lost my aunt when I was in high school to a brain tumor. Same kinda deal, treatment wasn't working, so they stopped it and she went pretty quick. I want my aunt back too *hugs again*

[Letho]

You have my condolences, Witchy.

Regardless of all the advice, in the end you have to find your own way through the grief. There is no one way through something like this. I hope you find your own.

[Lucien]

I already told you about my open window theory.

Right now, you have to balance a certain amount of emotion for your aunt, and at the same time you need some apathy to keep your life semi-normal. It'll probably take forever for you to find the perfect match, and even then the pain will never go away. I guess the only advice I can give you is remember the good times now and know that in a few months or years, the pain will lessen.

[Witchblade]

Heh, Zerith, next time I feel like walking to your place in the rain I'll call ahead and let you know to prepare Lisean for his ritual beating. Hurting that emo kid always makes me feel so much better.

Just knowing that you guys care is a small thing that seems to help so much. Saturday I got tired of all the crying and all the condolences and hugging, I had Eric over and I laughed and smiled. I think my friends are the people that are going to pull me through this the most. And of course Dan who I vent my feelings to on MSN probably more than I should. Poor guy.