PDA

View Full Version : Mental Wars



Whisper
04-01-07, 07:03 PM
I'll be the first to admit I do things the hard way. For instance, I cannot acceptably write a character until I have crawled in their head, dissected it, and poked all the squishy parts. Sometimes I create characters around an amazing idea and then can't crawl into their skin. This usually ends with me on my frustrated knees going 'Please!' while he/she sticks their nose in their air and goes 'Nope! I saw what you did to the last guy.'

And sometimes...

**

Let me make the introduction. See that man, standing over there, leaning cavalier against the stone wall as if he does not stick out like a sore thumb? As if the townies that pass him - widely - do not glance at him curiously, wondering what man could be so well off he can afford to stand seemingly listless during midday, when all else are pressing hard at their work? He certainly doesn't look like nobility. A gentleman would have piping upon that jerkin, embellishments on those sleeves. He would have a hat. That unruly, dark mop of hair would be somehow contained. The hilt near his thumb tip - that digit watched close by cautious men - would have some adornment.

But this mange, this scruff, this ruffian is just standing there, watching the bustling dock as if he is some casual, scientific observer just taking notes. Only he has no notes. A couple steps past him, nervous on some psychological level that the man will never admit and the woman will never voice and as they do, he shifts, just a shoulder, but the man steps farther away from him, wraps a protective arm around the slim waist of his consort.

The ruffian barely contains his smile and after the couple has walked a few twenty paces, down the pier and to the avenue he knows well, he follows. It isn't very often he is forced to pursue payment from a fellow who still owes his due.

After a large audible dose of clicks from his boots, a young woman runs after him, scampering. Parchment, inkwell, and quills bounce precariously as she reaches him, panting.

"Sir!"

The breathless exclamation is followed by more panting and he pivots, ever so slowly - and commanding, for she reaches only his shoulder - and he raises a quiet, this-had-better-be-important, perfectly penciled dark brow.

She flushes. There is a pause as she considers a curtsy but in the end she believes there is no way to ultimately please him. "If I may, sir. There are some people that need to know about you."

"Need?"

She takes a look into eyes that are dark like black coffee and though he cannot harm her, the menacity in them makes her fidget. In turn, she almost loses the several sheafs of parchment and as she recovers with no help from him, she gushes.

"Well, umm... yes. You see there is this writing board and you know how I like writing and while I know you prefer me to use the other characters... Well, umm, you see... I would like...if you would. I mean-" Oh who is running this confardint show anyway? "I need you to fill out this form." There is, surprisingly, an authority conveyed in her voice.

His bends down and he studies the meticulous scripting, the careful lines painstakingly placed for his input. He does not appear very interested. In fact, he looks particularly disinclined. She is flustered again.

"Okay. I'll fill out the form. You just stand there an answer."

He leisurely places his hands in his pockets, thinking he might derive a minimum of amusement from this. There is a moment his thoughts are correct as she balances inkwell and paper to moisten her quill and then shuffles the disarrangement again to station a paper over the the thin piece of hardwood she carries. Not once during this time does she raise a glance accusing that he has not lifted a finger to help her.

"Okay. Name." Her fingers hold the pen perfectly poised.

He looks at her.

"Oh, yes. Okay. S'pose I can get that."

She scrawls. Alucius Darionne

"Race."

Another look, this one deadpan, from eyes set between two normal ears and above a nose that appears perfectly human.

"Oh. Erm... yeah." She pens.

"Sex," is the next item on the list. She really needs to stop reading out loud.

"Are you offering?" His smile escapes in a half grin. "Because if you are, then no."

She flushes, has no ready retort, and considers writing the letters p-i-g, in sequence, upon the line before it, but then she would have to do all these nice lines over again so she reluctantly spells out m-a-l-e in its space. These letters are darker than the rest and seem to have been written with moderate pressure. His half grin remains but disappears as his eyes scan the next entry, simultaneously voiced.

"Occupation."

He scowls.

"Umm, we'll come back to that later. Appearance."

He rolls his eyes, then, and thinks about wandering off. But then she will only further pester him if he does. She surveys him and then writes down:

Black hair, thick, just past shoulders. Dark eyes, tan skin. Small scar from a blade near his lip, covered by facial hair - a mustached goatee. Facial scruff. Broken nose (twice) that mended nicely. Trousers and vest-like jerkin, both black. The trousers are leather but look worn. The shirt is softened white linen. Both wrists have black leather guards. Silver/pewter rings on three fingers - one looks like it could leave quite a mark. His sword is harnessed in black leather and is pommel-less, the grip wrapped in straw colored cord. It is more like you can sense its constant use, rather than see it. His boots are, of course, black.

"How many knives are you wearing?" she asks.

"Three." She looks puzzled, so, impatiently, he shows her. There is one nestled in a sheath at his back and two others, smaller, disguised beneath each trouser seam, strapped to his boots.

It's ridiculous, but the sight of them unnerves her. "Personality," she says, her voice, already quiet, just a smidgen more so. He crosses his arms, a humored quirk to his lips as he waits to see what she comes up with.

"Umm..."

Quiet. She looks at him. But not because he is shy. Passive. He believes in the old adage 'every man for himself'.

"You know what I believe?" The question is a challenge.

"I created you. I bloody well should," she snaps, irritated because she knows she must use more than two words and half a sentence here to give a description here though she can think of nothing better than what she has already written. He watches. His brow has become deep in thought as if he does not agree with her statement and is thinking of ways to annul it. She continues.

He takes offense easily and is quick to retaliate. In fact, I think he *likes* to be encouraged to draw arms. He seems most happy when he feels his pointy, messy demonstrations have proven well deserved. That is not to say he is heartless. He has one there, somewhere - for what other device would pump forth his blood? Occasionally, Rarely, it will come out from hiding to perform a good deed. Maybe two.

A quick look up through a bushel of eyebrows and the girl is assured he has not taken offense. Yet. She dips the quill, again, with difficulty, and scratches more letters.

In essence, he is the epitome of cavalier. He cares for nothing as he galivants about-

"Galivants?"

She absorbs his tease with a scowl. "I like the word." He shrugs and lets her continue.

- unheeding any structures of government or the normal balance of a daily, unchanging life. Not to say that he is irresponsible, for when it comes to his business he is very responsible indeed. He keeps his appointments and his promises (if you can get him to utter one) and he is actually a reliable friend if, of course, he has deemed you as such. He has no real quirks though he does enjoy a well flavored smoke. He can be clever when a situation is deemed reasonable enough for the trouble and most times he prefers blunt speech over frivolous propriety though he can be fairly deceptive himself, despite the charm in which he delivers, a charm collectively built in a mind free of worries.

Oh, yes, and he is very irritatingly obstinate.

"That's very impressive," he says, meaning it at least for the moment.

"That I actually came up with a paragraph to describe you? Yes it is."

"What's next?"

"Background." She hasn't thought about it but she suddenly does as he glares at her. "Well, you have to have one," she persists.

"I have and I do but there is no particular reason in which it should be revealed." His eyes were beginning to harden into stubborn.

"Well. They have to know SOMETHING."

"That sounds good. Write that."

"Write what?" She has become befuddled.

"That. I lived somewhere, did something, did something else of which I am still doing and, to this point at least, I am still here so something must be working. That's perfect."

"You're inane." The quill taps against her lips as she thinks.

"I've been called worse." He shrugs, uncaring until he sees the first words she pens are not those he said. His fingers snap at the quill. "What are you doing!"

Growl-sighing, she grabs to recapture it but the foot and inches taller man has no problem keeping it away and she comes back with only black fingers.

"Give me that!"

"Alright." He makes no move to comply.

"Alucius!" Her face has become red and puffy and he has become amused. "Give me that pen right now or the next thing I write when I get back to my desk will be your horrible death!"

"Oh, how intriguing," he says, exaggerating a smile.

"You insipid little..." So furious she cannot finish the last words, she angles the hard piece of wood and pushes it fiercely his direction. The gracefulness and ease in which he avoids her is almost sadistic. She ends her angry exclamation with a frustrated "OoooF".

"Oh just go," she says.

Satisfied and very much delighted, he turns. She waits a couple steps until juggling her armload long enough to produce another thin quill. She hastily scratches.

He is a smuggler. He was close to his father, a trader who then became a factor who then became a trader - for he missed the adventures of travel - until his ship was overcome by pirates, his goods stolen and his life taken from him and his wife, two sons and his daughter. Alucius has not talked to his family since that day, though he looks in on his sister, for he took another boat from the pier that day to run the pirates down. He has never found them nor has he since believed in the law. He swears-

"What are you writing?"

The question, like cold steel, is delivered to her ear from a distance not far enough.

"Umm..."

"Give me that!" He reaches for the paper but this time she is quicker and her little feet carry her, pumping, fast down the street.

The smuggler hurries after her. "...wretched little wench..." But he knows he will never catch her, as much as he wills her deceptive little fingers to type it so.

Whisper
04-01-07, 07:07 PM
Since this is similar to the above, I'll post it here too. I used to create blogs long before they were this insanely popular (Upsaid, back in its early days, anyone?). They usually died once my regular viewer count got in the teens. This is why:

**

The woman, with dark hair and eyes that cannot choose a color between green, grey or blue, sits hunched over her keyboard, typing nothing, staring at the blank document of her screen and pretending she doesn't see the other woman approaching in the reflection of an empty document. The woman stops just behind her; both are similar. Both are freckled with confused eyes that don't show their age, and short. The one standing, with her arms crossed and her eyes all cold and irritating-like, speaks.

"Why aren't you writing?"

"I am." The seated woman punches a word into the keypad to make her point. The other woman leans over, scrutinizing the word 'The'.

"That isn't writing," she says, sternly.

"I'm trying," says the other, in all a wail, a plea, and a cry for pity but neither one, two or three are forthcoming.

Manicured fingernails of the standing woman tap her bare arm. When she speaks her voice is like dried acrylic. "You said you were creating this blog for writing exercises. Where are they?"

In answer, the other woman who had once taken up the same molecular space but now is much smaller, clicks open a folder. The standing sergeant woman skims the documents and meets the shrinking green-blue-grey gaze of the other.

"Why aren't they up?"

The window snaps closed. "I changed my mind."

"You can't change your mind. The whole purpose of this-"

"But people will seeee!!"

"People are <i>supposed</i> to see!"

There is a moment of one angry glare and a frightened look crossing directions.

"...but..." The eyes of the smaller, hunched over woman are pleading again.

Sergent woman stands taller, growing, it seems, like a dark iron-black tree. "Don't 'but' me. You are supposed to be writing something creative. How are you ever to get better if you don't practice?"

"...but..."

"Write it and Post it!"

"...but ...I didn't expect to have visitors."

"Then why did you sign up for a traffic exchange if you didn't want people to see?" The sergeant woman's has become far past exasperated and her arms have slickly moved form beneath her chest to her hips.

Meekly, "To see if they'd work?"

"OYYEEE!" Sergent woman swoops down, aiming for the precious and shiny black new keyboard. "Give Me That Thing!"

The other woman runs for her documents' life, or at least for their anonymity, and the black and no longer lit object is hugged to her breast and her heart, cord and plug jutting and spewing behind her like entrails. She runs for the door and when that doesn't work, the window.

Scuffling and grunting, then a four handed, ten pink-and-purple-clawed melee on the floor. Fabric is torn, panting is done, shrieks and growls are both heard, there is some name calling and moderate riding up of blouses and skirts but, sorry boys, no exposed globules of flesh, and in the end one has victored and has repunctuated the typing tool's masculine end into its female receiver.

Nails click into place, indexes fondle the concave, matte surfaces of Eff and of Jay. She begins punching methodically; the rhythm, after such a display of violent tendencies, is almost eery in its jaunty, light tap-tap-edness, and her smile is more than somewhat disturbing. More so is the pale fabric of torn slip that hangs from her canines and lips and that where the other had lain defeated now is only empty air, of which echoes above a faint click-click-clickety-click.

It is hard to say who won because the girl who had lost has disappeared, gone to the humiliating place of lost battles and torn slips that dishonored girls like her go to, when they lose the fight that had them in the right place.

At the desk at the computer, dainty hands click-clicking away on the keyboard and in the chair where the other woman now sits her domineering derriere.

AdventWings
04-02-07, 01:07 AM
Hmm... Quite an interesting display of literary prowess you have here...

Yamihara: Heehee. That means she's better than you, then?

Me: ...I suppose.

Yamihara: I like it. Especially the first one.

Murakama: Then isn't it about time you do something to be as good?

Me: ...Not now, you two. Do it on your own accounts.

Murakama: Oy. Whatev'

Me: *Ahem* OK, where was I? Oh, yes. I like the way you think. It's so fun to see what goes on inside that mind of other people and how the lives play out in reflection of one another. Too bad I'm not as good with words as you are, or else I'd have three New York Times Best Seller out in bookstores already. :rolleyes:

Well, we can all dream, can't we? :p

Letho
04-03-07, 06:38 AM
I have to say that I'm impressed, and I'm not impressed that often. You have a knack of making the characters quite unique and recognizable, giving them traits that people can connect with and imagine quite easily, and all of that while creating a certain believable atmosphere around the. The whole meeting with Alucius reminded me of an introduction of the Concordance of Stephen King's: The Dark Tower, where the author "meets" the main character of the series.

I'm very eager to see how you do within the limitations of Althanas. :)

Whisper
04-03-07, 11:59 PM
Shucks, you two. This is the kind of crazy thing I come up with when nothing else comes. I'm extremely flattered you both liked it so much. Thank You.

AdventWings: You should never never ever EVER undermine your own talent. I've skimmed a good number of threads on this site, before and after I joined, and every single person here is talented. I loved your comment. That's how my head feels most of the time! (occupied!)

Letho: Okay, so you've made me blush. Now let me see you try and make me do a cartwheel. I am going to the bookstore this weekend and will have to check that introduction out. I bet it's all kinds of interesting. If I were King, I'm not sure I'd want to meet anything I created o.O

BTW, I am having a helluva hard time not falling in lust with your character. From the looks of it, that seems to be the norm around here. *looks for the back of the Letho-lust line*

Letho
04-04-07, 01:34 AM
No, not a cartwheel, but I might try and make you do a quest with me.

The meeting I mentioned is actually just a part of an intro and not as elaborate as yours (no dialog and less details), but the concept is the same. Though if I were King, I wouldn't want to meet most of my creations either. Some of them, sure, but most of them I'd avoid like the plague. :P

And you can lust if you want, but not too much if you don't want one very pissed off redhead on your back. ;)

Yamihara
04-04-07, 01:58 AM
And, believe me, that's not a very good thing to have her on your back.

Which reminds me, Mister Letho, will she be coming along with you to Akashima? I could certainly use a chatting partner.

Your ways with words are great, Whisper. I wanna get in line to quest with you, too! But I think that would have to wait... Master Raven's being lazy again. :rolleyes:

Rith
04-08-07, 08:31 PM
That was great. Some was quite amusing, and I must say I wish I was as talented as that. Hopefuly I'll leave here aquiring half the talent you posess at writing. Keep them coming, I'd be looking forward to read more.