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Nadia
06-20-07, 05:50 PM
Name: Nadia Okenzawa
Age: 35, appears to be early 20's
Race: Humanoid, possible genetic variation (Ages extremely slowly after maturity, possibly rivaling the longevity of an Elf. Calls herself Human and is identifiable in many/most aspects as such)
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Pure white (blind, not freaky glowy crap)
Height: 5' 9"
Weight: 150lbs, but doesn't look it
Occupation: Priestess

Personality: Introspective, quiet, concise, succinct, sometimes blunt. If she opens up to somebody, she trusts them with nearly everything. If this trust is broken, neither hell nor a woman scorned can rival her fury. She's not suspicious of newcomers, unless they give a good reason for her to be so.

Appearance: Lithe frame, Wears an ankle-length red dress, a mid-thigh length coat, black, and a pair of sunglasses(The kind you'd see on somebody who was not blind). On her feet she wears a pair of leather-strapped sandals, and she keeps her shoulder-length black hair in a fine braid. On occasion she has a raven's feather in her hair.
History: Nadia was born into famine and squalor. Her mother died in childbirth and left her to an orphanage. At the age of six, she was sold to the local... escort services... for an "upbringing to prepare her for her career". She frequented the many shrines in the forest behind her place of dwelling, and begged the greater spirits for a way out of it all. In a few months time a troupe of bandits attacked the town, razing buildings and looting businesses. A priestess defeated the troupe, asking only for a young girl to take as an apprentice in return. Nadia offered herself immediately. (For the sake of sanity, I'm skipping forward a few years) Nadia is now a high Priestess, her mentor having ascended to a higher plane, and she wanders like many others before her, searching for an apprentice to train, so that her place will be filled upon her passing.

Skills: >Nadia uses a small amount of magic to supplement her martial prowess. These include:
>*Tangible light: Nadia can create a field of light no greater than her body mass, and no more than 10 times her reach away.(usually 25 feet) This can be molded into various tangible shapes, but cannot be sharpened, and cannot be used to directly cause harm(choking, beating, suffocating, drowning).
//To be gained later//>*Elemental influence: Nadia can, when in contact with certain materials, influence the elements to her will.(Requires focus. Can only use one E.I. ability at a time. (So she can't create a tendril of water from one hand and then send jolts of electricity down it.
// >>*Silver: allows her to manipulate all forms of water, including Ice and Steam(Can turn one into the other). Limited to a 50 foot radius.
// >>*Iron/Steel: Allows for manipulation of fire, can turn sparks into a full out blaze, Iron: 40ft, Steel =50ft.
// >>*Gold/Copper: Allows for control of electricity, this can be used to temporarily numb out pain. Limited to initial strength of charge.(nerve impulses don't turn into Force Lightning... this is normally just a defensive magic.
// >>*Silk, wood: allows for some manipulation of the winds. No gust greater than 20mph, and no sustained wind higher than 10. This is most commonly used for effect, but can be used to deflect light projectiles, like blowdarts.
>Nadia specializes in pole arms, and carries an ornately decorated scythe, representing her close ties with death. (Stuff that happened in those years that I skipped. She may entertain a few souls with her story)
>*The scythe is only enchanted in her hands, by her hands, and while such, is unbreakable and is a perfect medium for her magics (100% conductor of her abilities. Any other weapon is slightly weaker, and many times, her most powerful spells will shatter the weapon if she casts through it. Any object in her hands is "cast through" and has an effect on the spell. e.g. she casts a 'binding light' spell on a vampire while holding a silver object. The spell carries the magical attributes of the silver, which create a more effective and possibly damaging bind spell than if she was empty-handed)
>Nadia's ceremonial armor is made out of an unknown metal with many of the properties of Steel, but works has a strange function: when damaged too much it dissipates, rather than breaking apart, and can be restored after a period of anywhere of two to six minutes depending on magical exertion during the down time. The armor does not hinder movement, is pure white, and has a solid piece for the facemask.

Changed time, commented out skills to be gained later, and removed reference to "energy shield" in description of armor. I was making a Halo reference to remove some ambiguity. Ended up leaving more

Equipment: Enchanted Scythe(see above) Enchanted armor(See above).


Please let me know if there is anything that needs to be changed/removed/expanded upon

Ther
06-20-07, 06:03 PM
Nadia's ceremonial armor is made out of an unknown metal with many of the properties of Steel, but works like an energy shield, when damaged too much, it dissipates rather than breaking apart, and can be restored after a period of anywhere of thirty seconds to two minutes, depending on magical exertion during the down time. The armor does not hinder movement, is pure white, and has a solid piece for the facemask.

You should try to quantify how powerful the energy shield, and you also need to increase the amount of time it takes to be restored - probably by 3 times, at least.

You'll also want to cut out 3 of your other skills - the others can be gained when you level up.

If you can do those edits I'll approve you.

Nadia
06-20-07, 06:58 PM
Edited as per request (I hope)

Ther
06-20-07, 07:12 PM
Looks great. Welcome to Althanas! With those edits your profile is approved and your character is awarded 200 GP to start as well as 300 GP worth of supplies at The Bazaar, the forum where you may purchase additional items for your character.

Now that you're approved, you may role-play anywhere on the forum you like. I would greatly recommend spending your 300 GP at The Bazaar as quickly as possible - if you don't use it within a month of your registration then it will expire. Also, Althanas has two optional forums for new characters to begin their role-playing in: The Peaceful Promenade is a tavern where you may introduce yourself to other players in-character, and Scara Brae is a forum exclusively for role-playing with other new characters. Enjoy!