phantom's battlefield

[Daggertail]

(open^^)

I had to prove myself, prove that I was a capable fighter and not just some girl that chose to wield a blade. Now I don't really like fighting unless there's more too it and killing someone just to prove a point was stupider than anything I'm willing to do. Thank the Thayne for the Citadel.

Althanas most famous landmark, the Citadel is the place that warriors from all over come to fight and train where battles meant nothing more than a spent afternoon even if it was a lethal fight. No one would die and for me it'd be like playing dice with someone else's money, ergo I couldn't lose.

Now I know it isn't my kind of place especially with the strange monks running around but I'll be brief in that I found this guy with a beard and robes that had a treasure map but he wouldn't sell it too me, only give it to a real warrior. I know it seems weird but he didn't want money for it, just wanted to give it to someone that proved herself worthy of the adventure. It's strange enough to be honest to goodness on the up and up. How could I pass up such a chance?

So I went to the Citadel, the place was too big for it's own good. So many rooms and huge always all decorated with statues of buff heros and voluptuous amazons, too bad there will never be a statue of me up there for obvious reasons. I searched and tried to open a door and found it locked, I went to another and found it locked as well and then the next was locked and after a few minutes I was flustered and panting. "I'm going to be worn out before the fight even begins at this rate."

"Can I help you?" A monk came out of nowhere as if my complaints were a conjurer's spell.

"Yes, I need room and an opponent." my smile was the kind meant to be friendly, though he didn't seem to care.

"Alright, we can provide the room but fate will provide the opponent."

Fate... Fate always takes so long. I was worried, how long was I going to wait for fate to give me someone to prove my fighting prowess against. "Umm ok, thanks." I flicked my tail with doubt, was I just wasting my time.

He lead me to a door, that was previously locked but no more as it just opened under his hand. "This will be your room." Somehow I kinda felt like I was staying at a hotel but I knew better there wasn't going to be room service.

I walked through and the door closed behind me and stayed unlocked. It was time to wait.

The room I was in wasn't a room, but an open mountain on a cloudy day where the sun wasn't going to shine. Gray dirt was the ground and everywhere was the garbage of war, empty armor, rusted swords and axes and other weapons, broken siege weapons. Everything but the bodies, there was not a living thing here until I came. It was going to be a lonely wait.

[Elijah_Morendale]

The door to Elijah's room at the inn burst open, violently shattering one of the hinges. Startled at the noise, Elijah looked up from his breakfast to see three men enter his room. He recognized one of them immediately. "I'll have your money today, I swear! I just need a bit more time!"

The shortest of the three, who was still an inch or so taller than Elijah, shook his head in disapproval. "Mr. Morendale, when you have a debt to pay, it bodes well for you to pay it on time."

He looked at the monstrous specimens of men that flanked the third man, allowing a small amount of fear to creep into his voice. "Look, uh, I'm pretty sure we can come to a compromise or something, right? U-um, I have a deck of cards right here! Double or nothing, what do you say?" It was a game of poker that had gotten Elijah in this mess in the first place, and it was his only hope of getting him out of it as well. He still vividly remembered how his four of a kind with nines was beaten by the man's royal flush after he pushed all in--with someone else's money.

"I'm afraid the time for trying to escape is over," the man said, his expression unchanging. "I assume that you were planning on skipping town, so I've decided to collect my own sort of... payment." He walked over to the window, casually observing the townsfolk below. "Are you familiar with the Citadel, by any chance?"

The name sounded familiar to Elijah. Everyone who held a weapon at one point of their lives has heard of the Citadel. After a short pause, he asked, "Wait, so what you're saying is..."

The man turned to face him again. "That's right. Instead of paying me back my money, I'm going to have you fight for my entertainment. If you survive, then I'll clear your debt."

"And if I don't?" It was a question Elijah didn't want to ask, but it had to be done.

"Well, then you die, of course. But the monks'll reincarnate your sorry ass, and then you'll still owe me the three thousand gold." The man walked over to the chair that Elijah was sitting in, coming within three inches of his face. His breath reeked of tobacco and stale beer. "And believe me, if your first taste of the pain of death isn't enough to make you pay up, then I have no problem killing you again--but this time, you'll stay dead."

The last thing Elijah remembered was the impact and sounds that came with a big, meaty fist colliding with the side of his head.

--*--

Elijah regained consciousness in front of a plain, oak door that was set in marble. The two bigger men restrained him, each of them holding tightly onto one of his arms.

The man to which he owed the money to spoke up. "Good, you're finally awake. I was worried for a second that I wouldn't be able to have my fun." He turned to the monk and nodded. The monk opened the door, revealing nothing but utter darkness, and the two burly men tossed Elijah through the portal.

Elijah landed with a soft crunch. "Oomph!" He slowly picked himself up, his surroundings slowly fading from black into something recognizable. He began dusting himself off as he looked around: The landscape was littered with various signs that a large battle had taken place here--but where were the skeletons of the unlucky? Turning around, his eyes happened upon a lone figure standing amongst the piles of rusted armor and weapons. She was short, thin, and her crimson hair flowed down her back like a river of blood.

It had to be another girl, didn't it...

However, Elijah noticed the girl had something peculiar attached to her butt: A tail with a short protrusion of bone, which looked awfully sharp. Elijah, due to his past experiences, had no trouble identifying what this other person was.

Scratch that. It had to be another demon, didn't it...

[Daggertail]

It seemed my opponent was not the type to know how to make an entrance. Instead of strutting in here looking dangerous and striking fear into my heart he just fell and landed in a manor much like someone being kicked out of a bar. I will give him that he regained composure very well, most people who fall like that scream in slurs about how they 'dint do nothin'.

But here he was standing up and looking at me, the kind of analyzing glare that people do when they size people up. He was in rather strange clothing that I didn't recognize the material and had some slick raven black hair. I didn't see his weapons, but being in the citadel he had to have some or be a skilled pugilist, not a fun person to fight.

But in the end all I saw was a boy standing in the middle of a trash heap of war with me. I had no clue what to expect and it made my tail do a little worried twitching. "Hi, I'm Tyria!" I said as I waved before leaning back against a wheel of a catapult that lost it's other three. I was trying to look calm and composed, you know casual, like a woman that ate fighters for breakfast and sword masters for lunch. But I really was unsure what to do. Guess it was going to be like one of those bored games where players move pieces and the one with the first move had it hardest because he gave away his play style first and it was a disadvantage.

"Well I'll let you take the first move. I'm not sure what to do right now, but no ladies first. That idea comes from a mind set that thinks I should cook and clean and my ultimate goal in life should be to marry and pop out a lot of kids. So lets just have you go first." I giggled and drew my sword and laid it on my shoulder and then holding it ready on a defensive position.

I was probably giving my strategy away but I was hoping he'd get overconfident. Okay that was stupid, I was canceling out one of my strategies with another but that's what you get when you're hasty.

[Elijah_Morendale]

The voice also giggled as Elijah watched Tyria take her stance. "Ooh, look at her... She's being so cute and casual about drawing her weapon... I think you should flex your dinky muscles to show her what she's up against, since your puny-ass dagger ain't gonna' do shit against that sword of her's!"

Elijah casually glanced to his left. "You know, if you're going to talk right now, I'd appreciate it if it were something, you know, useful for a change?" Quickly realizing what he was doing, he looked back at the demon girl. Blushing a little, he allowed a small chuckled as he spoke. "You'll have to forgive me. There's something wrong with me right now, I've got this voice in my head that... Well..." He quickly changed the subject, trying to avoid any further embarrassment. "By the way, I'm Elijah. Pleased to meet you." He flashed a friendly smile at her.

There's nothing quite like formal introductions to break the tension of an impending fight to the death.

Elijah took the next few seconds to analyze his options. Tyria had offered him the first attack, her body language driving the point home. Elijah may have been naive, but he wasn't a dumbass. He quickly guaged the amount of moisture in the air, trying to get a feel on how well he could use his icecraft. The arid landscape they were in meant that there was less moisture than he had hoped for, but he would have to make do. Now, let's see... Running in for an attack wouldn't be a smart move.

"No shit, Sherlock."

Shut up, I'm trying to think here! ...But perhaps if I can trick her into swinging her weapon right before I reach her, I can sneak in a clean blow. She looks fast, but not THAT fast. Elijah put on his best serious face and reached both of his hands into the hidden confines of his unbuttoned jacket; his right hand ready to unsheathe his dagger, the left one crafting a chunk of ice.

When he was ready, he lunged forward, dashing at a good click towards the waiting Tyria. When he was roughly twenty feet away, he whipped his left hand out of his jacket, flinging the chunk of ice at her head.

Here's hoping she falls for the bait...

[Daggertail]

I hardly could believe the first words out of his mouth though the second words gave an explanation. In brief he was crazy or possessed, both were a bad sign. If I lost and he was one of those sick men that got off on pain then who knows what trouble I can be in and hearing voices was a step towards that kind of madness.

Well I went the Citadel and there was no going back. I had to win if I didn't want to find out what it would be like at his mercy and I've seen some people that seemed alright but really weren't.

No that I offered the first move he made his. It seemed simple at first, a run to get close but he didn't draw his weapon. Elijah was the kind of person that like surprises since his charge was the one that hinted at a few surprises, since if he didn't this fight would be shorter than the attention span of demon berserker.

I kept my attention close while hardly moving, waiting to see when he'd reveal his first surprise and it was the flinging of some rock strait ahead. It wasn't much but a simple move that I simply sidestepped to avoid. Still it probably was a hint at something more, trying to get me a false sense of security. Still if that was his worst, I would hardly break a sweat.

I simply moved my left hand to draw my dagger as he quickly ran over the old battlefield, his sure footwork not faltering as he passed over lost swords and abandoned armor.

"I hope you're next trick is more fun." I smiled widely as I predicted his movement and made a swing with my blade, sure that he within its reach, my dagger was ready to defend against a trick that was probably up his sleeve, if he had no trick it'd be too easy.

[Elijah_Morendale]

"You missed, in case you were wondering."

Elijah quietly thanked the voice for stating the obvious as he sailed past Tyria, who easily sidestepped his airborne chunk of ice. It appeared that the demon girl had quick reflexes, much like he did. That would make this battle a bit more difficult for him. He would have to rely more on technique--something that, frankly, he lacked. However, he noted the expression on her face when he admitted to talking to himself. The uneasiness one usually felt when encountering someone who might possibly be crazy could be used to his advantage, if he played his cards right.

He skidded to a stop after he passed the girl, kicking up a small cloud of gray dust. He could hear the faint sounds of her drawing her dagger, and instinctively pulled out his own from the inside of his jacket, blindly making a vertical swing behind him. Elijah was secretly expecting to get his arm sliced up, but instead, he heard a metallic scrape. He lucked out: He parried Tyria's strike.

With a 180 degree turn, he hopped out of range of any further attack, as a safeguard. A sly grin crossed his lips as he spoke, trying to sound as menacing as a nice guy like him possibly could. "Trick? What trick? That ball of ice was merely a test to see how good your reflexes are.

"Liar."

"But I see that you are rather fast on your feet... Perhaps you'll put up much more of a fight than the rest of my victims." His grin stretched from ear to ear.

"Victims? What the fuck are you talking about? You damn near pissed your pants when you saw that one elf bitch kill that other guy back in Scara Brae!"

He decided to let this particular comment slide. Now was not the time to go completely crazy. "Unfortunately, I'm just as quick as you are. So, let's see what you got." He began crafting an icy shuriken with his left hand, pushing it up his sleeve so it remained hidden from the demon girl's sight.

[Daggertail]

Oh he was lucky, I was so close to embedding my sword into his arm I was sure of a quick win, but at the last moment his dagger met my blade just in time. I smiled at Elijah for I knew he was playing games since it would have been less about luck if the dagger were on the ready.

He made a quick retreat before my knife could make a bite and started taunting me, hoping to scare the wits out of me with the talk of victims. “Oh, come on, I’m not some silly school girl who’d shake and curl into a ball just because you’re some sick murderer.” I decided to try and stare at him in the eye, unflinching. “You do know I’m a demon? Don’t go dreaming of being the hunter again.” I hoped it would work because deep down inside I was nervous; the comment about the voices seemed sincere. I just hoped the eye contact would set him back even more. “Oh and you may be equal in speed, your blade just doesn’t have the size to win.” I giggled a little realizing that my words sounded dirtier out loud than in my mind.

Perhaps my words worked for he was fidgeting a bit while I was talking and I hoped that was the case. If he were nervous, then I’d have the advantage. I wagged my tail as I thought about throwing my knife and drawing a wand for a quick end but it seemed to early to pull a stunt like that, for we were both fresh and I’d have a better chance if he was a little fatigued.

Well it was time to move, get close and not let up. I ran forward, hoping over a pile of armor as I brought my blade to play, a quick downward slash at his chest, something he couldn’t wisely ignore and difficult to evade. My skill in swordplay wasn’t a trick I was going to hide since I had more cards up my sleeve.

[Elijah_Morendale]

The smile faded from his face as Tyria began her assault. As she gracefully bounded through the air, Elijah noted the speed at which she was bringing her sword down, fully intending on slicing him down the middle. The chain mail he wore underneath his shirt and jacket was guaranteed to provide some protection, but what good would it be if his face was split in half?

Given the situation, there wasn't much he could do. The sword was close enough that evading untouched would be nearly impossible, so he decided to play the trick up his sleeve--literally. He allowed the frozen, razor-sharp shuriken to slide into the palm of his left hand, and with a quick hop to the right, he flung his trick at the demon girl.

However, he didn't act quick enough, allowing the sword to cut his left forearm. He could feel the iron scrape against the bone with a sickening grind. The severed nerves shot fire up to his brain; a pain like none other Elijah had ever experienced before in his life. A pain that had only one word that could describe it in a sophisticated and articulate manner...

"Fuck!"

Elijah staggered a few more steps away from Tyria. He quickly dropped his dagger on the dry, cracked ground, taking a quick survey of the damage. Blood was gushing out of the open wound, his denim jacket soaking up whatever it could. He quickly place his free hand over the wound, taking two seconds to craft a small clamp out of dense ice around his forearm, effectively keeping pressure over the gash. He then quickly reached towards the ground to reclaim his dagger.

With tears of pain welling up in his eyes and a scowl to match, he looked up to see if his Plan B had any effect on his opponent.

[Daggertail]

I had no clue what he was up to or thinking what he could gain by screwing around with his shirt while my blade was sailing at him. But then it hit me like a snake coming up my shirt to bite a personal place. He had countered with something and it stung and screamed in a not very frighteningly way before I felt a jar of my blade hitting something solid and getting free.

Both of us retreated and I was finally able to realize that he did indeed do something, my shirt was wet with blood and there was a bloody hole in the shirt. I tried to hold in a whimper as he screamed about sex. Why do humans have to think about sex at a time like this when I was thinking about not wanting to die.

The missile he threw at me was gone, it must have been magic that formed it so when it mingled with my blood it started to lose the magic that made it. Elijah was able to use magic to stop or at least try to stop the bleeding while I could only just hope that it would clot. It was a nasty wound but not deep, for then I would be coughing up blood but it seemed to be slow enough that I'd live.

But that didn't matter, I could still fight and could still win if I kept trying.

"Heh I guess you got lucky." I said trying to be intimidating but a throbbing pain in my chest forced a whimper. I had to win this. Well it became time to use some tricks. I took my knife and threw it by the blade, the weapon was not meant for such a stunt but it was balanced enough to be thrown. With the blade leaving my grip I went back ward and climbed onto the catapult and ducked behind it, trying to ignore the pain beneath my breast. Once there I grabbed my purple lightning wand and was readying my self for the assault that would make me the victor.

[Elijah_Morendale]

"Heads up, chief!"

Elijah noticed the flash of steel flying towards his head, but it was easily dodged. He figured that the pain caused by his icicle piercing her chest disoriented her enough to the point where she couldn't aim her projectile properly. He saw Tyria climb behind some cover; a catapult that looked like it had been burned by battles and submitted to several hundred years of weatherly torture.

The adventurer was annoyed. He knew that the monks of the order of Ai'Brone could easily heal any wounds that the battle's participants suffered, but... That bitch ruined my jacket! It was true. His left sleeve was nearly severed by the demon girl's sword, the area around the cut literally drenched with his own blood--a stain that, by experience, he knew he'd have a rough time cleaning out.

The voice screeched, causing Elijah to wince. "Nobody messes with the denim! This bitch has got to pay! I like that jacket just as much as you do!"

He smiled lightly, speaking loud enough that the demon girl could hear him. "Yes, you're absolutely right. She has to die, right here, right now. There's no other way..." He let out a small chuckle, trying hard to make himself sound like an asylum inmate who was twenty minutes overdue for his next dose of medication. Something isn't right here, he thought to himself. She's been hiding for a good thirty seconds... She's probably got something else in store for me.

"Hey, chief, there's a shield ten feet over." Elijah looked to his right, spotting the wooden disk. There was a rusty steel rim circling the slightly rotting oaken plank--not much protection, but it was better than absolutely nothing. His arm still screaming in pain, he quickly sheathed his dagger and raced for the old shield, grabbing it with his good arm.

"What the--Why'd you put your dagger away, you stupid fuck?"

Elijah muttered in a harsh, barely audible tone, "In case you haven't noticed, my left arm is completely useless, and my right one is too busy defending our sorry asses!" Besides, he didn't really need the dagger. He still had a couple tricks waiting in the wings.

[Daggertail]

I stayed behind the rickety old catapult to catch my breath a little. Thanks to that magic knife, I had a wound that made it hurt to breath and I wasn't enjoying it. I could hear the boy agree with himself that I needed to die though it was probably the voice in his head. Elijah was crazy and I pretty much knew it and now he was mad.

I peeked out to see him scavenging the wastes for something to fight me with, perhaps a sword or spear for further reach but then I saw he chose a shield and said something about his other arm not working.

Can he really be that stupid to reveal such a critical weakness and then take something then maximize that weakness? My mind screamed as I gave my tail one flick and sighed and left my cover.

"So she has to die, then why the shield?" I said holding a smile and trying to make it not look to pained. "There is a reason the one armed warrior never carries a shield." I Smiled as I raised the wand. It was a wooden shield so it might not conduct the lighting from the wand and might be able to defend against it. Why did he have to have the luck to pick such a thing at this time, did he know my wand would shoot lightning? Still the good thing about lightning was that it would stun him even if I just hit a finger. Pointing the wand at his legs I spoke the command word and shot the lightning and half a moment later was cleaving my blade at he shield in hopes of knocking it out of his hand. He wanted to kill me but I didn't need his death to be a win and the words of surrender would be sweeter than a death rattle.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Seconds after Elijah had taken up the shield, he saw the demon girl spring up from behind the catapult with a small stick in her hand. He could hear her scream something, then saw a flash of yellow light emit from the end of the stick. He pulled up to his face, figuring that she was aiming at his head--however, he felt a hot, sharp pain in his left leg and immediately dropped to one knee. Screaming in pain, he felt the left side of his body go numb as he looked down at the spot he was shot at. His jeans had a hole the size of his fist, revealing a patch of slightly burned skin.

"Son of a bitch!" A tear streaked its way down his cheek as he looked up at an oncoming Tyria, her sword raised high in the air. She jumped through the air at him, bringing her sword down towards his head. Elijah closed his eyes and clenched his teeth as he raised the shield above his head in an attempt to save his life. The sword impacted with a crunch, sending splinters of rotting wood every which way.

Facing almost certain death, Elijah felt that he had no other options left but to use the blade in his shoe. He quickly smashed the insole of his right foot against the ground, causing the blade to spring out the front. During the split second that the demon girl was trying to remove her sword from his shield, he kicked his blade-toed foot at her side, losing his balance in the process.

As he lay on the dusty battlefield, slowly gaining control over the left half of his body, he couldn't help but realize that he was flushed. Trying to craft ice in this dry environment drained enough of his stamina as it was, and having his arm gashed and body zapped by lightning didn't do anything to improve his condition. If the shoe blade didn't stall her long enough, then it was practically over.

[Daggertail]

I was winning, the bolt of lighting struck true in a flash and I hade my moment. But when I hit the shield I only managed to get it stuck and had to pull out. It wasn't hard but I lost a few seconds and those few seconds were critical. With that moment in time my opponent was able to counter even after taking a wound to the arm and a lightning bolt from my lesser wand.

I even had a smile on my face as my blade came free and my chance for the final blow came. But a movement from below and a glimmer of light caught my attention. His foot now had strange hidden knife. Guess he's smarter than I gave him credit for. I thought as I let my wand fall and moved my hand to grab the kicking foot.

But it was too late for all I ended up doing was creaming and throwing my head back. It really hurt, it hurt more than a kick should and All I could feel other than the pain was how wet my leg felt as blood slowly slithered down it.

My body was feeling weak, I still could fight but not long. The wound wasn't going to stop letting my blood go, as it was a mortal wound. Enough I still had a chance, I may need help for the wound but I had to tough it out, I went forward, not fast, it hurt too much to run but as fast as I could and I brought my sword slashed clumsily but it was just a distraction; my tail would be the real weapon and it would lash out like a viper as I got close. I felt faint as I made my move, I hoped that I would draw final blood before I would collapse.

[Elijah_Morendale]

It worked! For once, something actually worked! Elijah let out a small, surprised laugh as he felt his shoeblade enter Tyria's side. As he yanked his foot loose, he heard an unearthly scream of pain coming from his opponent as blood gushed from her open wound, pouring down her leg like like a crimson waterfall.

"Yes! Yes! Now's your chance! Go in for the kill! Do it! Now!" The voice urged him on, but the adventurer paused for a moment. He had no idea what to do next! The split second was all the demon girl needed, however. She was taking pained steps towards him, her sword raised in the air again. Now able to support himself with his left leg again, he stumbled backwards, raising his shield again. The sword struck once more, completely shattering the piece of wood.

The voice pressed on further. "What the fuck are you waiting for? Pull out your goddamn dagger and stab this bitch right between the eyes! Come on! Don't make me pull some split-personality trick and do it myself!" Elijah felt his hand reaching for his favorite weapon while Tyria slowly and laboriously prepared to finish him off with another sword slice to the brainpan. It was then that the thin purple stick near his foot caught his attention. It was the wand that she had used to zap the hell out of him two minutes ago, and it was high time that she got a taste of her own medicine.

With as much speed as his slightly broken body could muster, he reached for the wand and pointed it at Tyria, trying as hard as possible to will a bolt of lightning out it. His face frozen in anger, he vigorously shook the wand. With a scream that cracked his voice, he erupted, "Zap her, you bloody useless toothpick!" After a second or two of utter nothingness from the wand, he realized that he needed a special word to activate it. He gazed at Tyria in defeat; he knew that the battle was just about over. It was then he once again noticed her tail flicking about in anticipation, the sharp protrusion of bone coming out of the end.

"Aww, to hell with this." Elijah unsheathed his dagger anyways, springing at Tyria, secretly hoping that he could slash her throat before she could do anything about it.

[Daggertail]

I still had a chance, I was able to break the weakening shield to pieces but it was tiring. I Wanted, needed to follow up the attack but I was stunned for a moment trying to catch my breath as I tried to keep from getting too dizzy. Why did I have to get dizzy at a time like this.

And I was too late. My enemy had my wand in his hand and had it pointed at me. Even it's weak power would have me laying on my back and having trouble getting up. I was frozen with fear as I watched his lips move. In this state, I wasn't going to do much in evasive maneuvers since my vision was blurred and I doubt that I'd not trip on a rusty sword or rotten spear. I waited as my heart painfully beat and pump the blood out of my thigh in a slow trickle.

But the bolt of lightning didn't come, I grinned with pain as I brought my sword up to make the killing blow but then I was tackled with his blade going to my throat. I had no choice but to grasp his wrist and hold the knife at bay but the mans weight sent me to the ground and the jarring motion that sent my sword away and put a scratch on my neck before I keep the blade at bay. I was going to lose the test of strength but I had one less trick.

My tail, the very weapon I had since I came out of my mothers womb was my last hope. I put all the strength into keeping the dagger away but my tail was able to move, lashing it back and then having thrust at Elijah's belly. I wanted to live even though death did not matter here, I wanted to survive to be the one that would be the winner, even if it meant I had to be covered in the kid's insides. If I wanted to win my tail had to reach his stomach before his dagger reached my throat.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Elijah could slowly feel his strength return to him; an adrenaline-induced second chance at winning. As he and Tyria struggled over whether or not his dagger was going to carve out a nice piece of the demon's neck, Elijah could feel something impacting with his stomach. The pain that ensued reminded him of that time back in Salvar when one of his friends from the unnamed village accidentally stabbed him with a saftey pin. Elijah let out a small, high-pitched yelp as he chanced a glance towards his belly, seeing the girl's bone-tipped tail trying to burrow into his stomach.

A innocent smile formed across his face. "Sorry, Tyria. Tightly-knit chain mail. An 'A' for effort, though." Despite the incredible amount of pain that the struggle was inducing on his injured left arm, he put as much of his dwindling strength as he possibly could into making sure that his dagger found a temporary home in Tyria's jugular. The sharpened piece of steel inched closer and closer to its target.

He closed his eyes, a few tears of pity welling up. "Please forgive me."

[Daggertail]

I was going to die... I was going to Die! All thanks to that stupid armor. I was shaking as I fought against his power to buy as much time as I could before his blade made it's fatal plunge. I needed to do something else but what would that something else be. The whole mess was just for a map a map for treasure.

"No fair, how can you move so quick in that armor!" I found myself whining, being rather pathetic and immature for being about to die. It was silly, like child whining about a fair hand. I didn't have armor but there was no rules against it. But I still fought the dagger that wanted to draw my life.

Everything stung to numbness, I needed to escape even though he was heavier than me and maybe even stronger and the fact I wounded his arm was the only reason I was able to fight but I was starting to lose, the blade was ever so slowly getting closer and closer. I didn't want to die. I needed one final trick.

I wanted the boy's wrist to come to my mouth so I could bite it. I was going to bite his hand. glove or no glove, maybe it wouldn't hurt but if his hand was in my mouth he couldn't put that blade in my throat but even then if I couldn't claim victory in the moment of time that biting his hand would bring then I'd lose but in contingency I started to slither my tail up towards his throat, for we were close enough that it could reach and then with his dagger out of the way my tail would take his throat as well.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Elijah opened his eyes up in time to see the demon girl try one last move. She had gathered enough strength to maneuver his arm in such a way that... Wait, this isn't cool. Tyria clamped down hard into Elijah's wrist, causing small trickles of blood to pour down his hand. The ensuing rush of pain caused the adventurer to drop his dagger and sit up. His stream of cuss words went uninterrupted for several seconds, but was cut short by another disturbance.

Elijah heard the sickening sound of bone piercing flesh and muscle as Tyria's tail found its way through his throat. He fell silent, his hands trembled on their way up to his neck. With a smirk on her face, the demon pulled her tail loose, which made a small popping noise on its way out. Words could not describe the immense amount of pain that he was feeling.

For once, the voice sounded dead serious. "Quick, you better learn how to breathe through that new hole, or you're done for." But it was far too late for that. Elijah slumped backwards onto the dusty battlefield, allowing the copious amounts of blood flowing from his neck to mix with the gray dirt. He was as good as dead, and he knew it by his rapidly-fading senses. His head rolled to one side, and he caught a blurred glimpse of his imaginary friend. She shook her head, her face split by a sadistic grin. "So you lost... What are you going to do about what's-his-teeth and the 3,000 gold you owe him now?"

Elijah's heart sunk at this reminder. Right before his life-force turned off the lights on its way out, he secretly wished that he filled out a do not resuscitate order before entering this battle.

[Daggertail]

I won.

I struggled into a sitting position to see the sight of my enemy, unmoving. He was completely still and the true smell of death entered the battle field as well as the ash and rust that was there before. I had to look away as his face was haunting and I started to feel bad; I had killed a man for a piece of paper that would lead to treasure. Was I really so greedy to put a man's life out. He may have been crazy but still a person and he was dead.

But it was the Citadel! I smiled widely wand wagged my tail with a little cheer of "I win!" I wanted to hop up and cheer but I couldn't, it took a lot of work just to get standing. "I'm sorry but I guess I was just a little better." My grin was rather pained and I just couldn't look, although he'd be brought back to life.

I limped out of the room and sought a healer.

~^~^~^~

The monks were quick and I was as good as new, now I could hope around with the thrill of victory, just in time for the old map man to come in. Seeing his old dusty visage made me so happy I pounced on him.

"Hey watch it! I'm too old for girls to be doing that!" He protested and I let him go.

"You owe me a map." My smile was wide and my tail was a danger to anything that dared to go behind me and face the sharp bone tip at the end that would be wagging hard enough to do real damage.

"Yeah, the map. I did promise but that was a really sorry display, you got lucky."

"No I didn't, I was the better fighter, I won fair and square!" I yelled in protest.

"Fine, have the silly map."

(Spoils: just the map, it's to a ruin that is supposed to have treasure. It's just a plot hook.)

[Elijah_Morendale]

With a sudden scream, Elijah came to in a dimly lit room in the Citadel. Several monks were knelt next to him on the floor, a small glimmer of light cast off by each of their hands. He still felt tired, but at least he was still alive. His hand slowly touched his left arm where the girl's sword had passed through his flesh. Surely enough, it was as if nothing had ever happened--barring the glaring cut that his jacket had still endured. I kinda' wish that these guys would've fixed that too... Oh well, nothing a short trip to the tailor's can't fix.

Even though his physical wounds were healed, his mind was still slightly fractured. To drive the point home, the voice spoke up. "You better watch your ass when you're leaving. That creep you owe might be waiting in the wings..." Elijah's heart sank. Three thousand gold, and no way whatsoever to get it--legally. He gathered his meager belongings on the way out of the citadel, wary of another encounter with the man and his goons.

As he made his way down the hall, he could hear the familiar sounds of Tyria's voice echoing through the marble hall, something about a map. He hung his head low, slightly embarrassed that she had won with a good old fashioned dirty trick. He continued on his way out of the Citadel, hoping to never see this rotten place ever again.

(Spoils: A dose of humility)

[Skie and Avery]

Daggertail is red, Elijah is blue. Any and all questions should be posed to me in PM or to AIM at RestitutionSpork.

Story

Continuity
4 - While I can appreciate the fact that you even told me about the treasure map and your character's need to prove herself in the first post, you gave me as much information about it as I have just outlined with this one sentence. A small scene with her conversation with this mysterious map-bearer might have been better, or really just something. When you toss your readers a few bones for background, make sure there's meat still left on them.

7 - You're getting better at the art of the introduction, it seems. I liked how you let me know why he was fighting, all down to the hand of cards that led him here. Well done.

Setting
3 - This was your setting. You were the one who described tons of weapons and armor, left to rot. I could have used more, as in the condition of the sky, but that wasn't my major complaint. My biggest problem was that you set yourself up with a veritable plethora of usable items that went unused. Your imagination was the only limit here to how amazing this battle could have been in the choice and usage of the pieces, and yet you limited yourself outright with the simple fact that you gave yourself a creative utopia only to ignore it.

4 - You didn't do much better, shield or no shield. Tsk tsk tsk.

Pacing
6 - There wasn't much of a rise between no action and high action, but that crops up sometimes in battles. Your character's personality seemed to help this perception as well, what with her very manic demeanor.

4 - I had a big problem with post # 14. If she was close enough that he could hit her with his toe blade, and she didn't step back and he had been laying on the ground, how, when she attacked, did he have enough time to do all that thinking, grab her wand, wave it around, curse at it and then replace it with his dagger, going for her throat? Waaaay too much lumped all at once there. Not only do you have to think about the overall pace the thread takes, but individual posts as well.

Character

Dialogue
5 - Sometimes external and internal dialogue seemed really formal and then at other times really informal and immature. It was hard to get a good feel of personality just from the things that were said and thought outside the first person narration.

5 - This is more or less the same that I've been seeing from you, and I'd really like more. Use the banter between Elijah and his lovely conscience to really progress your character. One thing you definately need in your entire style is dynamics and it can be applied here.

Action
4 - The actions of your character leaves your battle mostly in herself. I got a strong feel that she was being batted back and forth between solidifying herself as a girl, or as a demon. Timid and unsure, and then turn around and she's fearless and ruthless. It could be that's how you want to play her, how she's supposed to be, but the way you write just makes it look like she's a shaky character that the writer isn't sure of. With only 500 exp, I assume she's new and I hope that her character through her actions is something that will solidify itself with time and use, but I'd really like to see more effort from you.

5 - By now, Elijah is starting to get familiar to me. His little passive agressive ass was played decently, I thought, but I still felt that you were holding so much of him back. These low scores, for both of you, is linked to the setting comments I gave as well, but only by a point or two. Elijah is a very vocally developed character, through thoughts and the conversations with his conscience. I'd like to see more of him shown through the things he does. Actions speak louder than words, after all.

Persona
7 - I have a feeling that Tyria is going to be a character known for being obnoxious and hard to get rid of. For some reason, I have a soft spot for these kinds of personalities. She's hard to forget, and that's good. Just work on solidifying the style to suit her personality, to really bring it out, and I can see you getting perfect scores for this in the future.

6 - As much of Elijah as I've been reading, it just seems to me like this character has plateaued. This thread was pretty much what I've seen in the past from you, and I think it's time to take a step forward. The man needs some passions, some inspiration. As far as character's go, he's a wallflower, and there's no need for that.

Writing Style

Mechanics
4 - There's a lot that I'd like you to work on. Punctuation and spelling are small problems, but the biggest thing that's needed here is your run-on sentences. When you write straight from your head, this can be a big problem. Trust me, I know! It's easy to get caught up in the pictures in your head and just keep going on and on. Waiting a few minutes after a post is written, rereading it or even reading it aloud before posting can be a big help.

6 - You're pretty solid when it comes to grammar, though I do notice mistakes from here to there. Sometimes you forget quotation marks at the end of some dialogue, and there are a few spelling errors and strange phrasing that just seems wrong. Mostly, though, just tidy things up and you'll be grabbing top scores here in no time.

Technique
4 - I liked seeing first person, but it needs more sensory details. The thing about first person is that you really want the reader to not only see through your character's eyes, but actually become the character. Fixing those runons and finding a flair that really brings out the character will also help.

6 - What you really lack here is dynamics. Your style right now doesn't do too much for your writing. It reads clearly, I can tell what thoughts are whose, and that Elijah and his many levels of consciousness are real potty-mouths. =P If you, like Daggertail, were to find a true flair for your writing that shows the character, that brings the reader into the character's mind, it would do so much for you.

Clarity
5 - This wasn't terrible, but there were a few spots that gave me a bit of a headache to read. Working on the spelling errors and runons will make the biggest difference here.

7 - Fine, I didn't have any really glaring problems here.

Wild Card
4 - I really wish you would have used that catapult as something more than a large, strangely shaped shield.

5 - As someone who once worked in a nursing home, DNR jokes get me giggling disgustingly easy.

Totals
46
55
Elijah_Morendale is the winner!

Daggertail receives 150 EXP and 210 gold. She also receives a map detailing the supposed location to a great treasure.
Elijah_Morendale receives 500 EXP and 665 gold. Congratulations on obtaining Level One!

[Letho]

EXP/GP added! Elijah_Morendale, welcome to the next level.