What Happens Now? (closed to Ataraxis)

[Seline]

Kara looked around her at the flowing landscape. There was a forest in the distance, and it would change from day to night in seconds. During the daylight it was simply a field, yet during the night it would change dramatically. Fire would erupt from the ground, creating walls of fire that she could feel from far away. The only warning you would get as to where they would erupt, would be a slight glow on the ground, giving you seconds to get out of the way.

Kara turned to Alex, the tiny dragon sitting on her shoulder. "I can't believe that Monk put us in here. I just wanted some battle practice, not to be boiled alive."

"Stop complaining." Alex told her. "What did you think you would get? A field full of flowers?" Alex attended to a scratch behind his right ear. "Ahh, that's better. Besides, they heal you if you get hurt."

"I'll believe that when I see it." Kara mumbled, relieved that it was currently daylight. "Now all we have to do is wait for someone else to turn up."

As she said this, the sun disappeared and the ground beneath her feet started to glow, Kara ran for the closest edge and just managed to leap free before the fire erupted, Alex taking flight. "Oh, this is going to be fun." Kara said sarcastically, pulling herself up from the ground and brushing herself off.

Alex settled back down on her shoulder. "Next time your going to jump, give me a little warning." The look on Kara's face made the tiny dragon gulp and bury his face in her hair.

[Ataraxis]

It may have been an architectural wonder, indestructible even to the endless onslaughts of demonic hordes, according to historic retellings of the ancient war; but what the Citadel had become was but a specter of its once eminent form, fallen from grace into the pits of decadent bloodshed. She had heard stories of murderers, who lay in wait behind closed walls for their unwitting preys, as well as tales of deuced rapists, who took pleasure in keeping their ‘opponents’ alive, for hours on end, subjecting them to the most horrible abuses, until they finally grew tired of their broken toys and slit their throats.

However, as much as these rumors chilled her extremities, she could not deny that the monks had done well in restoring the ziggurat, and using it as a Mecca for those who seek spars for their mutual betterment. A noble concept, in a utopian world. If only those who are drawn here were as venerable in their motives. With time, she had managed to find respect for the establishment and those who tended to it, especially after multiple conversations with one of the Ai’Bron monks, whom she had abducted from the Citadel. He had detested her for months, but her ceaseless apologies, desperate reasons and charming demeanor had made it impossible for him to remain irked. Since then, they had become testy allies, and perhaps even friends.

And there she was again, for reasons quite dissimilar to those that had lead her here the very first time. After many tribulations, she had realized nothing could compensate for her fundamental weakness: her complete and total lack of strength and combat experience. The girl would crumble down after moving a few pieces of furniture, and a slightly overweight cat would have no trouble overpowering her. With the incessant coercion of a travel companion, a dreadlocked Fell Human named Aiden, she finally decided to travel back to the Citadel and test her mettle.


“What in the Moon's name is this place?” The girl yelled at the top of her lungs, running away from a spire of blazing flames that had burst out from the ground. Only moments ago, the vista had been that of a peaceful landscape, with the haze of a forest stretching across the distance; but soon came the fall of night, as well as the call of Hell. The soil beneath would rumble and glow a baleful light, until it split open into a gaping maw, eructing embers and singing fires into pillars of red.

The landscape quelled, and it seemed that for a few minutes, it would be devoid of the flames and fulminations. A small hand clutched her chest, attempting in vain to slow her beating heart. Catching her breath, she huffed and puffed, picking herself up from the peaty soil. In her rush, she had tripped and fallen into a patch of dirt, and looking at her once immaculate dress, she almost welled up at its grimed and soiled condition. Shaking her head, she went her way, treading softly in the asinine assumption that in silence she would not rouse another miniature volcano.

From the corner of her eye, she saw a figure flit under the veil of night. It was another girl, her elder by only a few years, it seemed. Believing the woman to be one of those rare and noble warriors, who had come for the sole purpose of training, Lillian let her hand flail in a conspicuous wave, announcing her presence as a sign of good faith. “Hello there!”

[Seline]

“Hello there!”

Kara started at the sound of the voice. Looking towards the source of the sound, she saw a girl, only a couple of years younger, she guessed around sixteen, waving at her.

She turned to Alex and nodded at him, his claws digging into her shoulder as he took flight. He flew over to the girl and circled her a couple of times, keeping out of arms length, then flew back to Kara and landed on her shoulder again.

"She looks harmless, but you know how much appearances can be deceptive. I doubt she will attack you if you go over to her." Alex told her, peering over his shoulder to keep an eye on the girl.

Kara nodded and slowly walked towards the girl, her hand resting on the hilt of her sword in case the girl drew out any weapons. She stopped a sword-length away from the girl and stood there studying her for a moment. "My name is Kara Dragon Keeper. May I have your name?"

[Ataraxis]

Lillian tensed up when the woman gave no sign of reply, her confidence faltering at the thought that she may have been wrong. Did I just put my hand in the maw of a wolf? She asked herself under high alert, but what little she had of experience told her to steel herself and expect the unexpected; and indeed, the aerial assault of a dwarfish dragon was definitely not high on her list of expectations. As the lean scaly mass came swooping at her, she hefted her spindly arms in a fragile guard. Better than having an eye poked out!

When no pain had seared her flesh, she lowered her hands, expanding her vision to the nightly panorama. In the dark, she saw the lean and scaly mass flit around in circles, orbiting around her before veering back to the roost that was the woman’s shoulder. “Huh?” she uttered bemusedly, squinting an eye to better see the approaching girl and her darkling apparel.

Fitting with the shroud that reigned over the landscape, she was all in black, though slender regions of fairer skin contrasted with the fabric into pleasant shapes. For a moment, she lost herself in observation, wondering for the fleetest of instants whether the years would endow her with equal munificence. Shaking her head at the superficiality of her thoughts, she nodded awkwardly, her coyness painfully shining through. Eyeing the ornate blade that hung at her waist, Lillian had the foreboding feeling that going in for a shake of hands meant going out without hands altogether. “My name’s Lillian Sesthal. Friends call me Lily, though some of them prefer Lollipop. I’d rather not know why.”

Tugging sharply, she reeled back her tongue, stopping before she said anything more embarrassing. With a wan hack of the throat, she gave cursory looks around, on the watch for any of those ominous glows on the ground. Thankfully, she saw nothing but the grey shades of the expansive grassland as well as the dark masses that swayed and rustled in the distance. “Well, I guess we should do... something, now?” This was awkward.

[Seline]

Kara slowly unsheathed her sword, hoping not to frighten Lillian. "Okay Lillian, so how do you want to do this. Shall we start slowly, or just go for an all out fight til one of us drops?"

Kara held her sword in one hand and pulled out her dagger with her other hand. She had no idea how things were done here, she didn't know if there were any rules, or if it was a case of stop asking questions and just attack. Everything seemed so strange to her, yet deep down something was telling her to shut up and attack Lillian while she was still unprepared for it.

She unclipped her cloak and let it fall to the floor, she then kicked it out of the way, so she wouldn't trip over it. She just hoped that she wouldn't find the ashes of it later. She then took a couple of paces back and raised her sword.

"The choice is yours, I don't mind which."

[Ataraxis]

How terribly tempted she was to choose the former, rather than the latter; but having it easy was not her purpose in coming back to the Citadel. She even rebuked herself for extending an olive branch, instead of trying herself at the stealth and swift stabs she had marveled at while reading those novels of cloaks and daggers. But no, I had to be civil about this. If Aiden were here in my place, she’d already have seventeen stab wounds in the eye. She shuddered at the grisly thought, chiding herself for creating such unpleasantly vivid imagery.

“Well…” Lillian began, her speech deliberately slow. Her eyes wandered about the purple blazon of the skies, then the knighted grays of the soft ground and fresh grass that crunched under her feet. Letting her left hand fall to her side, she drew out the glint of blue that hung from her rope belt, trifling with it between her fingers before pulling herself back into a knife-fighting stance.

The memories of her first coming flashed through her head and she saw herself in the exact same position, contending against the expertise of the vixen sword mistress, Doji Ki. Almost a victory against a legend, she told herself, grabbing onto that sense of exhilaration she had once felt, in the heat and heart of battle. “I choose the third option.” Her grip tightened around the glass hilt, a sly smile shaping her lips. “We fight all out until we’ve had enough. Why ruin this with death, when it is not requisite for victory? ”

“Here I come.” Without further notice, she crouched and sprang into a dash, the refined jag of glass that was her dirk making its way to impale her adversary’s left shoulder at a blistering rate. Now, it was obviously clear to the young girl. Faster than you’ve ever been, Lily.

[Seline]

Kara was a little surprised, but recovered, just in time to side step away from the rushing Lillian, but not quickly enough as to come out unscathed. The blade of the dirk grazed her naked left shoulder and a small thin line of blood appeared.

Kara looked at her shoulder in shock, she had not expected Lillian to be that quick, she knew that she could not underestimate the girl again.

In retaliation, Kara swung her sword around in a high arc and came down on the unguarded and unprotected left leg of Lillian, intending to run the tip of her sword down it. "An eye for an eye, as they say."

[Ataraxis]

But not fast enough. Lillian chided herself for being too cocky, widely underestimating the reflexes of her opponent. Because of the impetus of her charge, she took a few staggering steps past the bonny woman, the tip of her dirk meeting no resistance. Unfortunately for the girl, these few seconds of bemusement had left her vulnerable to a nigh-crippling strike, aimed to sever her hamstring. Hearing the swish of a sword, Lillian kicked the ground and threw herself down, but the edge still caught the the skin of her calf, thin sparkles of red trailing behind the blooded tip.

Her body rolled across the mat of grass, her unceremonious evasion ending half a dozen feet away. A jumbled haze flew before her eyes, the momentary dizziness making her see stars dance across the violet shroud above. "Ugh, that didn't go too well," she grunted with effort, shakily drawing herself up. A dry pain seared in her wounded leg, but from its intensity, she knew it to be but a surface gash, barely breaking past her skin.

"Quite spry, I can see," she addressed Kara with a a slanted grin, an eyes squinted shut as though harbouring stray specks of dust. The only one left unsealed, however, was strangely aimed at the earth underfoot. I need to stay at bay. Getting close to her is too risky. The Dragon Keeper's blade had obviously an longer reach than that of Lillian's dirk, but she knew of a trick no blade so long could execute.

"Watch out, fire!" She cried out, pointing at the patch of dirt under her opponent's boots. Were Kara to look down, she would see naught but an unmoving sward, devoid of any perilous glow. However, there was indeed a light shining wan, announcer of embers and flame spires, growing brighter with every moment wasted - and it was right beneath the dagger-wielding librarian.

An eruption blew divots of dust and earth into the air of night, the blazing pillar piercing the darkness of the lieu by its almost blinding radiance. It burned on, ravaging the land little by little as it singed grass and diffused a thin cloud of smoke. To the woman's eyes, it would seem that Lillian had been consumed by the edacious fires, her body charred beyond recognition, perhaps even turned to ashes in a matter of instants. Kara might even have believed the girl to be beyond resurrection, had a flash of blue not bolted through the wall of flames, the shine of the dirk set on impaling the swordswoman's abdomen.

[Seline]

Kara was shocked at seeing her opponent disappear behind a wall of flame, it was certainly not something she had expected, and she awarded herself a triumphant smile. She had known the cry of "Watch out, fire!" had been a ploy to get her to look down, but she had never expected to see the pale light under Lillian's feet.

She was not paying enough attention, so when the dirk flew at her from the flames, she didn't instantly move, but she did, just not quickly enough. The impact of the dirk sinking into her side knocked her to the ground, the pain was excruciating, she quickly pulled the dirk out and pressed her hand into her side as she stood up.

Kara looked at the dirk in her left hand, which was pressed against her side, then looked at her sword in her right hand. She then laughed, a laugh full of amazement and triumph. She lifted her right hand, and sunk her sword tip into the soft soil, she then transfered the dirk over to her other hand and held it so that the moment the wall of fire ceased, she could return it to it's owner the way that it had been given to her.

As Kara waited, she kept her eyes peeled for any sign of movement, as the wall started to dwindle, and she caught some movement out of the corner of her eye, she aimed and threw the dirk with as much energy as she could muster, making it fly swiftly. She then grabbed her sword, all this time, ignoring the tiny river of blood coming from between her fingers.

"It's not wise to unarm yourself." Kara called. She stood there waiting, trying to compose herself for a charge when Lillian became completely visible. That was unless she had seriously wounded the girl, then she would go easier on her. Kara's temper was beginning to rise to the surface, and she doubted she would have any control when it did.

[Ataraxis]

"How perfectly true."

As the blotches of fire cascaded down, siphoned away into the hollowed earth, Lillian took a step out of the fuming effluvium, The blackness of her crest the first to be noticed by her opponent. Strangely, the second section of her anatomy to be disclosed was not the remainder of her head, but rather, the downy tip of her spindly finger, still stretched out from the throwing motion she had previously executed. When the smoking mist had receded enough, the girl revealed a solem visage, unfazed by the approaching projectile. So cliché, but I'll say it anyway: you fell right into my trap.

Shifting her whole weight onto her left foot, she lunged for a sideways crouch, the dirk slowing down as it sliced open the flesh of her upper arm. Blood gushed lightly, sending a pained scowl to the librarian's face. The blue ray was swirling in the air, seeming like a disoriented dragonfly: seeing this, she spun over her pivot, yanking her wrist as her left forearm shot toward the rushing swordswoman. With a yelled oomph, she sprang again into a charge, ready to meet her foe head on and unarmed.

What remained of the wall of smoke parted behind her, the cursive shapes of her weapon swinging back into the fray. In an impressive deed of coordination, she managed to catch it in its returning flight, bringing it to bear as she steeled herself to parry the downward strike that aimed to cleave her clean in half. Steel met glass in a resonant ring, the gritty noise of the edges grinding in their ears as she contended against the sheer strength of her opponent, both the girl's hands white and trembling on the blue haft.

"Harder to see in the darkness, isn't it?" As they struggled inches away from each other, Lillian shot a wry glare at their joint weapons. With a bit of squinting, something unnatural could be seen trickling from the hilt of the glass blade, something so fibril and dark it would still be inconspicuous under the revealing light of day. A single black string was affixed around the pommel of the dirk, and at the other end of the thread was the tip of her left index. Lillian had spun the magical string right before chucking the dirk for safe retrieval, later on. "If you had held onto it instead of throwing it back, you'd have already won."

[Seline]

Kara lost her temper the moment the words left Lillian's mouth.

As she pushed the girl away she became unjoined from her body, her mind lost in rage as she intended, with every fiber of her being, to kill the little upstart.

Kara gripped her sword two-handed and began an all-out offensive, sweeping and hacking not really paying attention to whether she hit Lillian, her dirk or even air. One move flowed into the next, and she had no control over it.

All the while, blood was still flowing from her side, running down her leg, slowly draining Kara's energy.

[Ataraxis]

All smugness had been swept off from her face, and quite literally at that. Steel glinted every which way, hacking and slicing, shorning away bits and pieces of her robe, now stained with wide splatters of her own blood. The wee little girl was trying her best to create an adequate blockade, but the barrage of blades had all but overwhelmed her petite frame and lacking musculature. This was no longer a bout where words were welcome, and Lillian knew it. As the cuts and gashes grew more numerous, so did the certainty of her own death grow ever stronger.

But I can't just die like this! I won't let myself killed this way! Her mental screams were loud and ireful, but only to overpower the terrible fear she had of a meeting with Death that would not be postponed. She had survived where no other would ever hope to stand, she had eluded deathly strikes that never should have missed: but now, she saw the skeletal wraith approach with every metallic clank, with every inch she lost to her maddened foe. Oddly, all she could do was send momentous glances to the ground, hoping for a flame of salvation to rise and smite her soon-to-be killer.

A sick splurt sounded in the dead of night. Her eyes widened into frightful orbs of pure azure, haunting as they froze within the clutch of death. The blade held her by the waist, until Kara drew it out of the gaping wound, leaving her body to fall limply on the ground. There, she writhed painfully, her blood feeding the peaty soil as it gushed out like water from a broken dam. She had never heard her voice so weak, as it groaned out a befuddled weep, her dying gaze welling with tears. "I thought... you were... different... from them all."

[Seline]

Kara watched Lillian fall to the ground and listened to her words, she then raised her sword for the killing blow, and was about to swing it down when Alex flew in front of her face.

"Kara! What are you doing?!" Alex asked, bringing Kara back to her body with a horrible thud.

"I-what-huh?" Kara stammered, and lowered her blade slowly to her side. The pain from her wound came back full force, and she pressed her left hand against the flow of blood.

She then looked past Alex to Lillian lying on the grass, her wound pouring blood. It hit Kara like a blow to the stomach to realize that she had caused the wounds.

"You've succeeded in killing her even if she hasn't taken her last breath yet." Alex pointed out, he flew over to Lillian, landing next to her head and nuzzling her.

Kara sank to her knees beside Lillian, and leaned over her to see if there was any way she could help stop the bleeding, even though she knew it to be hopeless, tears springing to her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. That has never happened to me before. Well at least not as long as I can remember, which is only a couple of months. Please forgive me."



For my spoils I would like, if possible, for an upgrade in 'sword fighting', to make it 'She is proficient in this field, above the average, and is thus quite swift and agile.' rather than 'She is only slightly above average in this field, and is thus quite swift and agile.' I also would like whatever amount of gold the judge deems adequate.

[Ataraxis]

Lillian focused her eyes, as best she could, but only a haze of flowing red had caught her sight, the blur of her vision worsening with the wear of time. Only on the cusp of death did she truly realize the importance of blood and the warmth it had provided her at each and every moment of her life. The cold had ashed over her like a lone wave from the seas beyond the North, and as it ebbed away, so did she feel her concsious drift farther and farther. She could feel a tiny muzzle prod her temple, something that made her cough gratefully.

"That's... strange," she groaned in a deathly whisper, her eyes straining to see through the tears. "Wish... could help... but..." In the blur of her mind, she had managed to muster a thimble of humor, hinting at her less than stellar disposition. "Maybe... after..." A short convulsion jolted through her being, letting blood spurt from her yawning mouth in profusion. This was the only thing that left her confident before the gates of the Nether, that she would have another first breath after breathing her last. Lillian had her doubts, having never suffered such a fate within these ancient walls; but what else could she believe in, now?

"I'll... forgive you..." The time was near, and she had very little left to say what burdened her heart. Though her sight was all but gone, she could sense a window of opportunity opening before her, and was hell-bent on using the most of it: this was, after all, her last chance to be witty. "But.. first things first..."

The rumbling of an earthquake was now strong enough to hear. Unbeknownst to Lillian, a smile was tugging at her bloodless lips, puckered as she lay on her death bed. "As... they say... an eye for an eye." Mustering the last of her strength, she threw herself to the side, pulling the little dragon that nudged at her head along with the rolling motion. Kara, still hunched over, looked at the earth whittle right under her, a crimson glow seeping out from the broadening fissures.

Hell was raised, taking in its ascent the corpse of the Dragon Keeper. From the corner of her lifeless eyes of stilled blue, gleamed the swirls of blood and fire, darting so high they seemed to lick the night-veiled skies, spreading their flames across the violet fabric. It was such a beauty to behold, the festoons of fire adorning the battlefield like mortuary garlands, dancing along the funeral pyre for the deceased. In death, even illusory, the fires would cleanse what resentment had lingered still.

And from the smoldering ashes, they would start anew.

Only spoil would be to add a new weapons skill and whatever gold is found to be decent!

Flexible Weapons Proficiency - After months of adventuring in the real world, she realized that to survive, words and daggers are not always the most useful tools. Lillian was often in hackles when she was unable to reach distant targets with bladed weapons, and had found that willingly disarming herself with the throw of her dirk was more detrimental than beneficial in the long run. Because of this, she chose to make an innovative use of her web-weaving abilities: by affixing magical threads to her weapons, she could substantially increase the range of her attacks, without risking the potential loss of her scarce arsenal. However, her skills are below average in this field, being only barely past the point of self-inflicted wounds, and she can rarely use these skills to her advantage in a battle.

[Ther]

(As always, if you have questions on any of my comments, feel free to contact me on AIM, through PM, or you may make a thread in the Role-Player's Corner. I'll be adding EXP/GP onto this later tonight.)

Seline

Continuity: 4

Reading the thread, I had the burning desire to know why your character decided to enter into competition at The Citadel, since she doesn’t believe it will be fun. In your next battle, I would recommend including a little information on what your character has been up to before she begins fighting – for example, you could mention how she lost her memory and the direction (or lack thereof) her life is taking because of it.

Setting: 5

This was a setting I hadn’t seen before, specifically the random fire pillars, but I feel it could’ve had a greater bearing on the fight. I also like the rapid change from night-to-day, so hopefully you can incorporate that again in a future battle.

Pacing: 6

The story moved briskly up until your character started to go mad and began hacking wildly. I would’ve liked to have seen more action at this point, and a more gradual move towards the battle’s climax, because as it stands right now, the story ended too abruptly and really had no excitement and tension at the end.

Dialogue: 5

There’s not really much to say – you kept it simple, and during the battle your character didn’t speak much and what she said wasn’t too wordy, which makes sense.

Action: 4

Having the dragon scout your opponent seemed logical – could it also work to unnerve the other character as well? Your character’s growing anger didn’t make a whole lot of sense, though, especially since it first seems to rise at a moment where Kara is unsure of Lillian’s fate, and there seemed little justification for it.

Persona: 4

See above in “Action.” I would’ve liked more explanation as to why your character grew angry all of a sudden, especially since your profile doesn’t mention that she’s easily angered or frustrated.

Mechanics: 6

My main concern is with your use of commas – there are points where their use is unnecessary (in “The only warning you would get as to where they would erupt, would be a slight glow on the ground, giving your seconds to get out of the way” the first comma isn’t needed). Also, watch out for the way you format your dialogue – I would grab your standard Fantasy novel and check out how the author does it, since there are times where you should be used commas to bracket off your dialogue instead of periods (“’Stop complaining,’ Alex told her” instead of “’Stop complaining.’”).

Technique: 5

There are points where I would like for you to vary your words a bit more. For example, you use the verb “change” in both your second and third sentences, and you use the word “Fire” twice in the same sentence shortly thereafter. You also use “seconds” twice in the first paragraph. To work on this, just read what you write and if you find yourself using the same word in close proximity, use a thesaurus to find a synonym. Also, your imagery lapses into the cliché at points, such as calling the setting a “flowing landscape” – what exactly is so “flowing” about it?

Clarity: 6

Your writing is easy-to-read and moves quickly. The one thing I would work on, though, is varying up your sentence structure a bit, because there are times where you use the same few words to start several passages. So, for example, in the third paragraph of your third post, you start each sentence with “She” – this structure begins to feel stilted after awhile, so try rewriting these passages and use different beginnings.

Wild Card: 4

Total: 49/100




Ataraxis

Continuity: 5

Mentioning the abduction of the Ai’Bron monk worked well, but it begs a few questions that aren’t addressed. For instance, how did the other monks react to that? Why would your character be allowed to participate in The Citadel ever again after doing that? What about the events of “Bibulous Toasts and a Drunken Celebration”?

Setting: 6

Your character using the fire eruptions to try to trick Kara was great, as was using them as a smoke screen for the dagger attack. Also, nice way to turn the fiery pillars into something your character now looked forward to, instead of feared, as she was dying.

Pacing: 3

You shouldn’t have sold Kara’s wild attacks so quickly – doing so killed any dramatic tension the plot had up to that point. I would’ve maybe taken a hit or two, and then counterattacked to see how Kara would’ve defended herself (if she did so at all).

Dialogue: 4

Again, there’s not really much to talk about here, since your character wasn’t placed in any sort of tense, dramatic situation where dialogue might play a greater role. That said, try to avoid using a construction like “Ugh,” which sounds contrived – just mention that your character grunted. Also, I’m not sure

Action: 5

Your character’s reaction to the dragon made sense, and you sold the first attack to your leg well. Trying to trick your opponent into believing that the fire was coming made sense, since the goal of The Citadel is not only to beat your opponent but to train as much as possible.

Persona: 5

Mechanics: 5

Be careful with your semicolon usage (for example, the semicolon in your first sentence should actually be a comma, as should be the semicolon after “unexpected” in your second post and the one after “latter” in your third).

Technique: 5

You don’t use too many rhetorical devices, so I’ll have to work with what you have. Calling anything a “specter” or “shadow” of its former self really doesn’t work – it’s a metaphor that’s become so overused that it’s cliché. Your reference of “Mecca” seems out-of-place, since your character is not from Earth, and Althanas has no place with that name, but I did enjoy your allusion to the Tyr myth.

Clarity: 4

This is your weakest category – the wordiness in your posts make them difficult to read. Why use the word “deuced” when you could have used “evil” or “vile” or “diabolic”? Why use “mutual betterment” when “improvement” would work? What are “desperate reasons”? What does it mena when your character is under “high alert?” Why use “eructing” when “belching” would work just the same? I think your posts would benefit from using simpler language, since these constructions make your writing appear difficult and complicated for no other reason than to be, well, difficult and complicated.”

Wild Card: 4

Total: 46/100

Seline defeats Ataraxis, 49 to 44.

[Ther]

Seline receives 750 EXP, 525 GP, and for battling with a new player a bonus of 275 Bazaar Credits, the latter which expires at the end of July (if you want, feel free to make up a story about this bonus that can lead into another battle/quest). Spoil request is approved.

Ataraxis receives 225 EXP, 130 GP, and for battling with a new player a bonus of 270 Bazaar Credits, the latter which expires at the end of July (if you want, feel free to make up a story about this bonus that can lead into another battle/quest). Spoil request is approved.

All EXP/GP has been added.