The Really Horrible Make-A-Wish Foundation

[Skie and Avery]

This is a game that got started on my KoL clan's forums, and I thought it was really hilarious and that us creative peeps here at 'Thanas could have a blast with it. Basically, a person makes a wish. The person below them then grants their wish, but twists it to ruin their lives and then makes a wish of their own.

Example: I wish for super strength.
Next person: You get super strength, but it's uncontrolled. While so forcefully pushing out a bowel movement, you give yourself terrible hemorrhoids, ending your love life for good.

I wish for...


See? Simple and fun.

I wish those were, indeed, the droids I was looking for.

[The Valkyrie]

They are the droids you are looking for, Miss Manda, but unfortunately they've been reprogrammed by Mr. Skywalker to hunt you down and make a new purse out of your skin. In fact you can hear them now whispering down the hole they've thrown you into "It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again...".

Eww. Creepy.

Anyways,
I wish........ that.... I were married to Matthew McConaughey and we had a great sex life.

[Atzar]

Valk: Granted, but you find out that he has nineteen different kinds of STD's.

I wish I had a million dollars.

[Daggertail]

Granted but it's one million dollars in a failed currency that's 1 dollar for 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00 of the currency and you're buried under it.

I wish I was a god.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Granted, but the rest of the Gods in the heavens (and hells, while we're at it) are upset that someone reached their status without the millenia of peon-busting and vigorous training in god-like powers, so they cast you off to the inter-dimensional void.

I wish I could blow stuff up with my mind.

[Letho]

Your wish is granted, but at one point during a senseless carnage a thought occurs to you that you probably can't blow up your own mind with your new power. Well, you can.

I wish I wrote a best-seller.

[Karuka]

Granted, but it's a best-seller in Ethiopia, meaning it only sells some 50 copies and it was more expensive to get those copies there than the profit of selling them, and you're buried under the other 9,050 copies.

I wish college wasn't so expensive.

[Breaker]

You did, but then JK Rowling plagarised it and made way more money then you, then hit you with a lawsuit claiming you stole the ideas from her.

EDIT: Oops, beaten. Ok... college is no longer expensive, but because of this you now have nine thousand roomates. Work out a bathroom schedule for THAT!


I wish I wasn't such a horribly bitter person.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Your wish is granted, and you decide to try out your newfound love for humanity by hugging every stranger you come across, until you realize that the last person you hugged stole your brand new Rolex and your wallet, reminding you why people are scum.

I wish I had expert guitar playing skillzzz.

[Rigor Mortis]

Granted, but then you suck at Guitar Hero II because you're not used to the video game controls.

I wish I could fly.

[Serilliant]

Granted, but unfortunately the new flight regulations since 9/11 have granted the US Airforce the authority to shoot down any unidentified object. The last thing that goes through your head after "my this wind feels nice" and before "oops, I'm dead" is a Tomahawk missile. Shame.

I wish it were a sunnier day today.

[Xos]

Granted but then you wish it wasn't quite so sunny, especially after that brand new sunburn.

I wish the one person I cared about most was happy beyond measure, even if it meant something horrible for me.

[Karuka]

Granted. That person is happy beyond measure and you're forced to work in the mines for life. As an added negative, this person no longer knows you exist.

I wish I spoke fluent Gaelic, Chinese (Mandarin and Cantonese), French, Spanish, German, Japanese, and Arabic.

[Saxon]

Granted and given your new finesse with linguistics you unfortunately didn't ask for a filter, causing the information to be dumped into your brain like an entire pitcher of lemonade poured into a shotglass. The results were messy.

I wish for the ability to phase through objects.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Granted, but as you are travelling through the Deimos base while packing some serious shotgun heat, someone accidentally types in IDSPISPOPD while you're in between two isolated rooms.


I wish I could obtain a Power Glove.

[Wraith]

Granted. But when you put it on, you realize someone with sweaty hands had been using it before you. And they had touched something sticky.

I wish everyone wore black, everyday.

[Xos]

Granted, but unfortunatly you fit the terrorist profiles for not wearing black from the department of Homeland security and disappear in the midddle of the night never to be heard from again.

I wish I had the Codex of Ultimate Wisdom.

[Karuka]

Granted, but it's written in Linear A and you can't read a single squiggle.

I wish my bird would be a bit quieter.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Edit: Dammit, Karuka! *shakes two fists and a foot at you*

^^Granted, but somewhere in Appendix B you discover the question to the ultimate answer of life, the universe, and everything; causing all of existence to phase out and be replaced by something even more complex and illogical.

^Granted, but when a burglar enters your house in two weeks, the bird is unable to alert you to his presence, and the thief makes off with your computer.


I wish someone would come up with a wish for me.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted but unfortunately its dead quiet now, cos er... it has shuffled off it mortal coil

damn it

granted your wish implodes

i wish i could think things into existance!

[Xos]

Karuka: Granted, but its quiter because its dying of a horrible disease you cannot cure.

Elijah: Granted, but the downside is the wish is more harmful than good.

[Xos]

granted but unfortunately its dead quiet now, cos er... it has shuffled off it mortal coil

damn it

granted your wish implodes

i wish i could think things into existance!

Granted, but you cannot control it and everything you think of becomes real, eventually causing something you cannot undo to destroy all things, starting with you.

[AdventWings]

...

Seeing that Xos here hadn't make a wish, I'll grant it - He did not have to make a wish. But in doing so, he has forfeited his chance to make a very very special wish. :p

I wish there were catpeople on Earth. ;)

[Karuka]

Granted, but they seem to think that Ravens are a delicacy.

I wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish...I had some inspiration.

[streak101]

Granted, but then they claim them part animal put them on the endangered animal list causing the price for their pelts, ear, claws, etc. to sky rocket. The illegal hunters destroy almost the entire population of the race until the only ones left are two males, utterly causing the entire species to die out.

EDIT: DARN! Okay let's see...you get your inspiriation and everything's good until you come up with so many good ideas you write them all as quests and battles here on althanas and soon you are writing best sellers by a week you have many good ideas but no one wants to publish them becuz your set for the next five years of your life, and so you live rich, but their is no emotion in you, for you poured it all into your work, and your inspiration goes to waste, with no emotions or inspiration your money and fame goes to waste as well seeing as you find no need for your money without your happiness to have it, and your fame is gone simply becuz people have read your books and will not here from you for 5 years.


I wish I was an Althanian

[AdventWings]

Your wish is granted.

But then you realized Althanians are fictional, thus, logic determines that you are fictional! Once you realize your writer stopped writing... You ceased to exist.

...Scary.

I wish... Humans have wings (and can actually fly, of course!).

[Karuka]

Granted.

And then tens of thousands of children die every ear in pre-fletched flight attempts. All because you wished for it. And everyone who loses a child sues you, meaning you are several billion dollars in debt.


I wish my sleeping patterns were not screwed up.

[Varia]

Granted, but now your sleep pattern causes you to be asleep. All the time.

I wish more people got on irc.

[Wraith]

Granted. But all of them are members of NAMBLA.

I wish a kitten really did die every time I touched myself.

[Karuka]

Granted. But you find this so amusing that you do yourself permanent damage before you turn nineteen.

Oops.


I wish...that life was a little bit less complicated.

[AdventWings]

EDIT: Ninj4'd by t3h Karuka!

Granted. But that "less complicated life" you were looking for was so boring, you end up dying from sheer boredom.

Oops?

I wish I owned 95% of the Internet.

Response to Elijah: Well, I'd readily give Al Gore 70% of the money, anyways. I "voted" for him during the 2000 Presidential Election. ;)

[Elijah_Morendale]

EDIT: This seems to be happening more and more, doesn't it?

^^Granted, but your life settles itself into a boring 11-8 grind where you wake up, shower, go to work, come home, eat, go to bed, then repeat until the day you die. Your friends are upset that you have no time to hang out with them, and you slowly become distant from them until they virtually disappear, leaving you a sad, lonely little girl who clicks the refresh button on her browser in hopes that something interesting happened on Althanas since the last time you clicked the button thirty seconds ago.

Weeeeee!

^Granted, but Al Gore comes knock knock knocking on your front door and demands 70% of the money that you rake in from website advertisement, and has his goons break various bones in your body while he preaches about global warming until you give in. He takes 80% percent instead, saying that the extra 10 was because he invented the freakin' internet, dammit!

I wish I could actually do something about the multitude of screaming babies that come in to ______ whenever I'm working.

[Karuka]

You can! You make a nursery section...and you're in charge of it.

Yay for screaming babies all day long while their parents shop in peace.


I wish it was August already.

[Empyrean]

Granted. However, the sudden increase in speed from this month to the next overheats the sun, and as a result all the crops on the earth shrivel up and die. And so do we eventually. We just stop living. Fun. Thanks a lot, Karuka. Geez.

:) This is fun, actually.

I wish I had a dog.

[Daggertail]

Granted but you skip over the best thing that would ever happen to you in the end of July.

Edit: Granted but the dog dies and everything else becomes a bad country song.

I with people didn't smoke in the cars at my work.

[Atzar]

Granted. Now they shoot heroine instead.

I wish the sound worked right on my computer.

[AdventWings]

Granted.

That is, until you realized the "sound" problem wasn't with the computer - It was in your ear. :eek:

I wish my dorm allowed the students to cook their own meals. Yum. ;)

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

Granted, but your roommate forgot that he left the pizza in the oven for too long, and you had no other food in the room (and no money left, for good measure), so you have no choice but to eat the burnt husk of cheese, pepperoni, and crust.

I wish I had telekinesis.

[Atzar]

Granted, but it only activates when you're dead.

I wish I had a paper clip.

[Death's Nephew]

Granted. But then you realize you're near a chicken, two watermelons, a broken slingshot, and a bottle of antifreeze. In classic MacGyver style, you somehow create an enormous laser beam that destroys you and your loved ones.

I wish bunnies weren't so damn cute.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Granted, just in time for you encounter the one in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.


I wish there were 30 hours in a day!

[Xos]

Granted but the sudden change in hours causes you to go insane from sudden changes in sleep patterns.

Lesse, a fun one...

I wish there was a four lane highway between Californa and Hawaii.

[The Valkyrie]

Granted, but while you are on it, it develops a giant oceanic sinkhole beneath it and you sink under the ocean never to be heard from again, along with 1500 other victims.

I wish my dog would hurry up and get house trained.

[Atzar]

Granted, but your dog invites another dog over to play, and the other dog promptly urinates on your couch/chair/whatever applies.

I wish I wasn't at work.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Granted via pink slip. You end up moving in with your parents with not even a dime to your name, living in their basement and earning food and clothes by cleaning out their garage every weekend for the rest of your life.



I wish.... hmmm... I wish I could actually draw anime characters with a good amount of skill.

[Xos]

Granted but then Anime goes out of style and no one wants to see your drawings.

I wish for the Impossible, that is, I wish All men and all women understood each other.

[hamnat]

(aww...you took mine....)
Granted, but when you decide to publish something, your storyline sucks and they take everything you own to pay for the expenses.

Grr...Ninja'd... Granted, but then life becomes boring because there's no confusion to balence out the understanding.


I wish I could figure out what to do with my life.

[Xos]

Granted, but then in a twist of fate an accident happens preventing you from doing it.

I wish we were not alone in the universe.

[Atzar]

Granted. Then we die, and they are alone in the universe.

I wish they weren't alone in the universe.

[hamnat]

Granted, however, it is a race of warrior beings that come and wipe them out. Then, without anything else to satiate their bloodlust, they wipe themSELVES out, leaving the universe empty.

I wish I could evoke fireballs IRL.(pretty easy to turn around, yes?)

[AdventWings]

Granted. ;)

Sadly enough, a misfired fireball ends up in your hair and you couldn't put it out in time to save the hairdo.

Ouch.

I wish I was a small black cat. Meow~

[Ataraxis]

Granted, but you give yourself ungodly amounts of bad luck until the very moment you spontaneously combust.

I wish my wish couldn't be turned into something negative.

[Xos]

Not granted, thus turning your wish into something Negative.

I wish Cthulu was my bestest friend in the whole wide universe.

[Wraith]

Granted. But even he kicks your ass for being a nerd.

I wish I knew what I'd do for a Klondike bar.

[Karuka]

Granted. You eat it. But then the company goes out of business before you can get one, making it a moot point.

I wish my foot would stop hurting.

[Xos]

Granted, you don't have a foot.

I wish I knew what the question was to find the answer to the meaning of life, The Universe, and Everything.

[Wraith]

Granted. But you stay Ugly.

I wish I enjoyed the company of women as much as I do the company of men, and, occasionally, small house pets.

[Xos]

Granted, but then every woman on the face of the planet disappears.

I wish the person who next posts gets their wish even more screwed up than usual.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Good. Your wish will hopefully be granted...


I wish that I had an anorexic emo chick as a girfriend!


The person granting my wish better not disappoint me... ;)

[Karuka]

Granted. You can have Syn. :eek:


I wish I knew swordplay.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted you get stabbed in your first attempt

i wish i was loved

[Elijah_Morendale]

Don't we all...


Er...

Granted, but the one person who ends up loving you was that fat cheerleader who always tried to fit in with the cool girls back in high school... You notice with some dismay that her acne hasn't quite cleared up yet.

I wish I could stop posting in this thread.

[thorn aldsmith]

its my anniversairy with my girlfriend on wednesday, we are both very much in love

living in england means we dont have cheerleaders, also meaning we don't have fat cheerleaders!

the only way we can grant that is by killing you! *smile speards across my face as i pull out a knife*

i wish i wasn't so evil!

[Elijah_Morendale]

*Elijah's bloody corpse would like to second Thorn's wish in his favor*

[Karuka]

Granted. But then you find that life is really boring being good, so you turn emo and slit your wrists. Now you're dead. Way to go.


I wish I had a video camera.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted but its a magic video camera and everyone you film with it dies, you swear never to use it again

i wish someone would answer the bloody phone!

[Wraith]

Granted. But it's that chick from The Ring, telling you you're dead because Karuka videotaped you.

I wish my hate was a beam of death.

[Karuka]

Granted. With it comes the lobotomy that removes the portion of the brain allowing you to hate and love.

I wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish...that I knew what to wish for.

[thorn aldsmith]

damn her what did you film me doing?
and danm your speed

granted but it will end up killing you in some nasty way!

i wish i could manipulate the elements

[Ataraxis]

Granted, but after being under your control for days, the elements retaliate and control you. Your buttocks are intruded by the forces of nature.

I wish I controlled time.

[Varia]

Granted, but when trying to go into the future to find lottery numbers, you muck it up and accidentally age yourself to 100. You're now past the viagra stage and can't flirt because you've no teeth.

Poor Jean, pwned by time.


I wish I could shoot spaghetti out my fingertips. :C

[Xos]

Granted, but when trying to go into the future to find lottery numbers, you muck it up and accidentally age yourself to 100. You're now past the viagra stage and can't flirt because you've no teeth.

Poor Jean, pwned by time.


I wish I could shoot spaghetti out my fingertips. :C

Granted but then you become the arch nemisis of The Flying Spagetti Monster. The followers of The Flying Spagetti Monster hunt you down and sacrifice you to His Noodliness.

I Wish I was my Favorite character out all the Characters I ever made in every place I've ever made one.

[Wraith]

Granted. But every enemy you've ever fought tracks you down and sodomized you with various fantasy instruments. You can never look at a lyre the same way again.

I wish I could always get what I want. Fuck what I need.

[Karuka]

Granted. Both of them. Makes eating kinda...gross, though. And you quickly become dehydrated for lack of drinkable water. Bleh.


I wish I ran on a 36-hour awake cycle, with a 12 hour sleep cycle between waking cycles.

[Saxon]

Granted, but during your steady adjustment to your strange cycle, you encounter your subconscious slowly beginning to merge with your personality, unfortunately causing you to descend into a permanent state of gibbering lunacy akin to a bag lady.

I wish for the ability to read someone's thoughts at will.

[Karuka]

Granted. But reading thoughts makes you loonier than me.

I wish I could show everyone how silly this bird is.

[Xos]

Granted, it becomes the next Reality tv star and you thrust to the side as The Bird moves to Hollywood and becomes a big star.

I Wish I could go back an undo a mistake I regret making to this day, that severed a friendship I valued highly.

[Letho]

Your wish is granted, but by doing so you create a rift in the space/time continuum. Everything ceases to exist. The last thought that passes through your mind is: "Maybe that friendship wasn't worth the entire universe."

I wish I could find cure for cancer.

[Xos]

Granted but the side effects are even more horrible than the disease.

I Wish I had an Alienware Computer from www.alienware.com

[Wraith]

Granted. But I kill you for it. Twice.

I wish Santh would pass away and leave me Althanas to rule over in his will.

[Saxon]

Granted, except in annoyance at the sudden bloody coup, the citizens of Althanas rise up and cast you off your throne, ripping you limb from limb before you even hit the ground.

I wish foresight was 20/20.

[Xos]

Granted, but then you lose the ability to learn from your mistakes.

I wish Wraith didn't kill me for my computer, twice.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Granted.

Now it's three times.



I wish Excel Saga Volume 16 would hurry its ass up and get released stateside!

[Karuka]

Granted. But it sucks so badly that you have to wear a bag over your face in response to the shame of owning it.

I wish I had a functional car.

[Ataraxis]

Granted. It is in fact so functional that it transforms into a 40' tall robot while you are still at the wheel. It uses your blood as motor oil.

I wish that for once, the negative stuff happens to the person who grants my wish, instead of me.

[Varia]

Granted, but then I kill you in your sleep for making such a horrible wish :(

I wish I had a kitten.

[Xos]

Granted, but its a baby Tiger kitten. It mauls you in your sleep.

I wish Someone would hurry up and judge my citadel thread and answer my Bazaar post.

[Karuka]

Granted, but the results give you negative EXP and GP. Forever.

I wish that a couple of my threads would move now.

[Xos]

Granted, but like me, they give you negative EXP and GP, Forever.

I Wish I could store Time in a bottle.

[Ataraxis]

Granted, but a bumbling idiot comes in and crashes into the shelves on which you kept your bottles, and as they break, a vortex tears your body apart. Later, a group of archeologists finds your perfectly well preserved foot in Giza, but sadly your most important limb is lost in the future.

I wish I had the power of instant teleportation.

[Karuka]

Granted, but you can't control it. You know the fairytales about people being trapped inside of trees? Yeah, those are real. You learn that too late.

I wish that the spiders stayed OUT of the house, where they belong.

[IBB]

Granted. Except now they're all lying in wait for you outside the house. And they're really, really hungry.

I wish I wasn't so darn shy. :p

[thorn aldsmith]

granted but in your new found extravertedness you are happy being naked around people, and get arrested for it a lifetime in jail wishing you were too shy to ask for the soap!

i wish i was a better writer

[Laurea Aeglos]

Granted. You become a better writer only to realize that everyone else has also improved so your writing remains mediocre.

I wish it would rain really expensive vodka from the sky.

[Varia]

Granted, but the vodka is so strong that it's also highly flammable. The whole world sets on fire. >.>

I wish I had more money.

[Karuka]

Granted, but your happiness decreases in direct proportion to the money you have.


I wish everyone would get up already.

[AdventWings]

Wish Granted. :)

Unfotunately, they cause so much ruckus about insomnia the many nights afterwards you can't go to sleep at all. For two weeks. :p

I wish... money was easier to obtain than yesterday. ;)

EDIT: Oh, c'mon, Karuka. You're supposed to grant my wish in one way or another, aren't you~? *Makes sad kitty eyes*

[Karuka]

Not granted. You retroage to infancy.

I wish long hair didn't tangle...

[IBB]

You and me both...

Granted. Brushing has become a thing of the past... but now your hair just sticks up in random directions all the time. It looks weird, but at least it doesn't get tangled anymore! :p

I wish... that it didn't get so sticky and humid up here in the summer.

[Xos]

Granted, now Winter never ends.

I Wish that puddle at the end of my driveway would evaporate.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Granted, but the toxic fumes from whatever that unidentifiable substance was wafts its way through your bedroom window, leaving behind a rank odor that you can't get rid of.

I wish that I didn't get depressed so easily when I see a happy couple.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted you now become so happy when you see a happy couple that no one wants to be around you any more, you will now be alone

i wish i was at the party thats happening at my house not at work!

[Zook Murnig]

Granted, but for some reason you've found yourself drunk in a closet kissing a swine. Sou-EYYY!!!

I wish I didn't impregnate every girl I came in physical contact with.

[thorn aldsmith]

Granted you miraculously impregnate every girl you talk to, and very effeminate guys too :eek:

I wish my girlfriend lived closer to me

[Zook Murnig]

Granted, you now share a lung.

I wish people liked me more.

[Ataraxis]

Granted. she is now fused into your body, in a tasteless reenactment of the Fountain of Salmacis.

Buh.

Granted, people like you so much they want to eat you. In fact, they're done sucking the flesh off of your pelvis.

I wish I could write at a superluminal speed!

[thorn aldsmith]

zook everyone likes you soo much that you nowe can't stand the attention and wish to be alone

Ataraxis you can but in doing so your fingers can't cope with the friction and cause you to blead to death very painfully

i wish i could grant wishes

[Zook Murnig]

Granted, but when someone wishes you would go away mere hours later, you are entirely removed from this universe.

I wish I was paid a decent wage.

[Xos]

Granted, but every wish you grant becomes twisted like the ones in this thread.

I wish I was even cooler than Chuck Norris.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Granted, but out of jealousy, Mr. Norris roundhouse kicks you in the face, shattering your skull.

I wish that life was in 8-bit.

[thorn aldsmith]

Granted, but out of jealousy, Mr. Norris roundhouse kicks you in the face, shattering your skull.

I wish that life was in 8-bit.

lol excelent i love it!

granted till 16bit come along and kicks your ass!

i wish dr. pepper was more popular

[Indecisive]

Granted, but an accident at a bottling poisons thousands of Dr. Pepper bottles, and the ensuing lawsuits, fines, and all the bad publicity forces its parent company to close down their soda business.

I wish I could actually hold a conversation (as in being able to converse comfortably without awkward silences).

[Xos]

Granted, but then you annoy everyone to the point they wish you would just shut up.

I Wish I was Death itself.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted but your first wank at being so happy causes you to kill yourself in a paradox!

i wish my computer was faster

[Saxon]

Granted, and after your computer was suped up, the monitor leaps off the desk and scurries out the front door, Harddrive in tow.

I wish I could own a chocolate factory ran by big breasted hookers. ;) (This ones' for David Attell!)

[AdventWings]

Your wish is granted.

Unfortunately~ The hookers are transvestites and constantly begging you to clean chocolate off their fingers.

... *shudders at the thought*

...I wish it won't rain everytime I try to hang out the laundry.

[Karuka]

Granted. Instead you suffer a plague of moths, and they eat it all up.


I wish my room was larger.

[Moonlit Raven]

Granted. Your room suddenly seems to grow much larger only when you try to go to bed you realized that the room has stayed the same. You now are the size of a average one year old child.

I wish this thread would come out as I intend it too.

[Karuka]

Sure bet. But then you realize that how you intended it to come out wasn't really how you wanted it.

I wish these stupid lists typed themselves.

[AdventWings]

Granted. ;)

But when you look at them after they're done typing, they're not the kind of list you wanted. :p

I wish I could have seven brains and twelve arms like Shyam/Djakara/INDK/Damon Kaosi had.

...Or was it four brains and ten arms?

[Laurea Aeglos]

Granted. You have all the arms and brains you want, but a scientist spots you. You spend the rest of your life in a lab being prodded and subjected to humiliating tests.

I wish everyone loved me.

[Karuka]

Granted. You're now a high-class whore.

>.> That caters to both men and women.


I wish I could get this shoulder fixed.

[Laurea Aeglos]

Granted. You get your shoulder fixed, only to break your neck the next day.

I wish men could bear children.

[Karuka]

Granted. Congrats, your husband is pregnant. With quadruplets. So now he's got the "poor pitiful me" complex for nine months, like men get when they're sick, and after the birth you can kiss your sleep cycle goodbye.

I don't have a wish. Someone make a wish for me.

[Xos]

Granted, but its not the sort of wish you would've wished for in the first place thus adding unneccessarily large amounts of bad Karma to your life.


I wish the only remaining wish I could think of wasn't so destructive.

[Saxon]

Granted, except this time the benevolence of your wish causes others around you to begin taking their own lives at random until the world around you becomes a much smaller place.

I wish that the Cheshire Cat haunted the dreams of George Bush with images of dancing boxes of bisquick and other such nonesense.

[Moonlit Raven]

Granted. As result Bush loses all grasp on sanity and decides to start a nuclear war, killing billions of innocent lives.

I wish Zephyriah would come back to Althanas.

(I miss him!)

[AdventWings]

Wish granted.

But even though he came back, he never posted a single IC or OOC post. Poor you!

I wish Free Internet was a reality. ;)

[hamnat]

Granted. But then the economy crashes due to the sudden change of economic process.

I wish I could find someone who understands me.(oooohh...deep!:P)

[Xos]

Granted, but Narcissim is never an attractive quality, so you never find that special someone.


Granted, except this time the benevolence of your wish causes others around you to begin taking their own lives at random until the world around you becomes a much smaller place.

I don't know, lets find out.

I Wish Darkness and destruction would rain upon the earth until the end of Time, I wish all even the most innocent of newborn children would suffer through indescribable agony and suffering. I wish Diseases so incomprehensibly horrible as to redefine the concept of Horror spread accross the earth. I Wish Real nightmare creatures from the bowels of hell would creep accross the earth, bringing with them, the greatest Villains in all of history. I Wish the light would darken and fade, taking away, the hope of day.

Nope, doesn't seem quite so beneficial.

[Atzar]

Granted. Then the movie ends and you leave the theater to find the world exactly as it had been before you made the wish.

I wish I had a capybara for a pet.

[Karuka]

Granted. But it has rabies and bites you.

I wish I could at least bring my cell phone to Harrisburg Invasion.

[AsukaStrikes]

Granted.

But then you lost it along the way and some fat guy stepped on it. No. Scratch that.

He sat on it and left an imprint of his cheeks onto the ear piece.

I wish I was real.

...No. Seriously.

[Karuka]

Granted. Now you suddenly have to deal with real life problems. Congrats.

I wish my bird was just a wee bit less stupid.

[Aiko]

Granted, now its superintelligent and gets an attitude of superiority with you.

I Wish Destrudo Nil Libido wasn't such a complex character to research and understand in my quest to make a Complex and deep character.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted the character is now simple, as in it is boring no story no powers no adventure in their past nothing, boring, yeah simple!

i wish i could get drunk again

[Of Free Will]

granted the character is now simple, as in it is boring no story no powers no adventure in their past nothing, boring, yeah simple!

i wish i could get drunk again

Granted, but the moment u become drunk u decide that you've always wanted to be a NASSCAR driver and take off in your car, eventually driving youself off a bridge and into your watery grave below.


I wish that my band's first album would go platinum.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted but in a typo your name isn't mentioned, they get swept up into fame and your stuck at the bottom hating them for not remembering you!

i wish CD's were cheaper

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

Granted, but in turn, artists don't make as much from royalties, so they start putting five or six songs total (four if they're really long... Dragonforce, I'm looking at you!) on a disc and release that instead.



I wish I didn't take the 7-4 shift tomorrow.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted you instead have been fired! you have to find another job and it only has 7-4 shifts

i wish i didn't eat so much chocolate

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

Granted. You develop a severe allergy towards chocolate. You're doing just fine keeping away from it, until one morning you fix yourself a glass of Nesquik without a second thought and down it. You die ten minutes later, surrounded my your mom and dad, who are scolding you for your stupidity.



I wish I could control my own zombie horde.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted but it takes time and in that time you develope feeling for one of the zombies names gerard and feelings progress till you are lying in bed with gerard and he eats your brain! but in the moment before you die you feel closer to gerard that ever!

i wish i could buy something good from ebay!

[Chromanon Rockskin]

You do buy something good from e-bay, but the point is you BUY something good from e-bay. You actually receive someone else's order. You never really recover from it, and end up slitting your wrists in the bathtub over a second string vinyl pressing of Vanilla Ice.

Sorry, man.

I wish I could burp the alphabet without getting dizzy.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted but your new found ability come with a bit of a downer, you can now only talk through burping!

i wish time moved quicker when im bored

[Chromanon Rockskin]

Wish granted, but now it moves so fast that you never get time to think in the boredom of new thread and character ideas, and your creative mind degenerates. Three weeks later, as you stumble stupidly and a little rushed through Los Angeles, California for some inane reason, you are found by Paris Hilton and made her new BFF because you two understand each other more deeply? than anyone else will ever know, simpleton.

I wish I spoke only in Shakespearean verse.

[thorn aldsmith]

Thy wish be granted. Whilst during thy banter. not one could understand thee!

damn it i wish i didn't know how to write shakespearean verse, now i just sound nerdy

[Saxon]

Granted. Its now safely gone after you visit a neurosurgeon.. unfortunately you've developed a severe, involuntary twitch to the sounds of the first half of the alphabet.

I wish Gamefly would ship games faster, especially since their outlet is only one state away. :rolleyes:

[thorn aldsmith]

granted now they hassle you to keep up with their orders and stop delivering to you cos you can't order quick enough

i wish i could do astral projection

[Xos]

Granted, but you become stuck on the Astral Plane. However you also discover that there is no such thing as fantasy....

I wish The fountain of youth was real and I owned it.

[AdventWings]

Wish granted.

Of course, you were so wrapped up in astral-projecting, you didn't notice the Solar Flare coming your way. Within a matter of seconds, you found yourself drifting aimlessly without a concrete body. Your real body, unfortunately, had been discovered by your paranoiac parents and thought you had commit suicide.

Now, without a body to return to, you wither away into nothingless.

EDIT: Ack! Ninj4'd!

Granted, Mr. Xos.

You indeed own the Fountain of Youth, but then it dried up for no apparent reason. :p

I wish there were four of me. (10+ threads to respond to within 12 hours! T3h H0rr0r!)

[Aiko]

Granted, but then none of you can agree which of you is the real or original you. Thus the four of you end up fighting for dominance and you don't get anything done.

I wish I was a mod so I could understand the difficulty the staff goes through in keeping up with everything.

[AsukaStrikes]

Wish granted.

But then you'll have to keep up with all the work the Althanas Staff has to do. If you're on the staff, you can't sit on your hand.

I wish someone would host a webboard for some space-age RP who also understands the Althanas methods.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted but now we never see you on here :(

i wish i could think of something to do, im bored

[Saxon]

Granted, you found out your little cousins are coming over tomorrow and unfortunately the next day they find a firearm in your dad's dresser drawer and decide to spook you. You died on the operating table five hours later.

I wish that physics clarified the parameters of time travel and what it takes to actually do it. ;)

[thorn aldsmith]

granted although the first person to travel decides he likes it too much and destroys the formular, meaning he is the only one who can time travel and won't let anyone else do it!

i wish work was easier

[Xos]

Granted, now its so easy a a computer can do it by itself. The next day you find yourself in the unemployment office.

I wish I really did have the powers to grant wishes.

[Moonlit Raven]

Granted. Now that you have the power to give anyone what they want causes jealous in the masses. Angered at being denied you die from dismemberment as the masses tear you apart.


I wish for once my husband liked my cooking.

[Karuka]

Granted. Then he becomes your zombie and travels to your family's house to eat their brains, too.

I wish I felt motivated to write.

[Damion Shargath]

Granted, yet as you write you notice that your brain mass deteriorates and you begin to scribble around like a three year old.

I wish nothing negative ever happened to me :) - now I'm curious...

[Skylar]

Sure thing. But since you actually reversed your polarity to negative, you are instantly and horribly stabbed, maimed, and bludgeoned to death by every metal thing in a 5-mile radius. Those poor Autobots.

I wish that the person below me would never say anything that would involve my death, harm, or general discomfort.

[Xos]

Sure thing, but even Paradise can be hell if you can never escape, and after a time, you tire and get bored of having your every desire granted in a good and benefical way, yet when you desire for it to stop, it doesn't, and your forced against your will to live in luxary and comfort for eternity.

I Wish I was clever.

[AsukaStrikes]

Sure thing. Wish granted.

But then you realized that being clever isn't all that beneficial. You find the simple chores to become increasingly taxing and annoying... The usual mindless fun no longer fun, but merely mindless...

And then you realized being clever meant no longer being innocent.

...Hmm... Good or bad?

I wish birds could talk.

[Synful_Blood]

They do. Mine, for instance, says "where's the pretty bird?" and other birds are much more verbose.

And the one you like so much says "I hate you."

I wish my bird wasn't such a vain critter.

[AdventWings]

Thy wish be granted.

No longer wanting vanity, your bird neglected to preen itself regularly and ended up infected by epidermal fungal infection. ;)

I wish everyone lived in one, big ol' continent instead of being spread out all over the world.

[Synful_Blood]

Too crowded, not enough food or farmland, everyone dies of starvation/in-fighting/illness. Thanks, Raven.


I wish I had a new masa bowl, so I could make tamales.

[Laurea Aeglos]

Granted. Your new masa bowl has arrived int he mail. Unfortunately the manufacturer's forgot to place a protective glaze on the inside of the fiberglass bowl, as result you contaminated your tamales. You spend the next 24 hours wishing you were dead as the particles work their way through your system.


I wish that my nemesis would drop dead.

[Karuka]

Granted. But in karmic retribution, so does your best friend.

And I wanted an aluminum masa bowl. Yes, safe!


I wish I didn't have to sew my sister's dress.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted your sister decides to have a bit of fun with some skin grafts, instead of wearing dresses now she wears you!

i wish leaving someone you love was easier

[Aiko]

Granted, now there is no longer any such thing as love, and now one of the founding pillars of humanity and all of civilization no longer exists, thus causing the slow, painful, unstoppable collapse to the same lower level as any other beast which crawleth upon the Earth.

[thorn aldsmith]

did you not want to make a wish aiko? groovy, i don't have to grant it!

i wish chocolate wasn't fattening

[Elijah_Morendale]

Granted. Ever see the weight loss contest episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force? Yeah.


I wish I had MORE SUGAR!

[Aiko]

Granted, you now own a Sugar Plantation, and it costs more to run it than it would've to just buy more.

I wish I knew the perfect wish to make.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Granted. However, the panda bear that brought you your triple decker super supreme ice cream sundae (with the cherry on top, of course) had rabies and mauled you, then ate your wonderful desert.



I wish radio drama would make a comeback, replacing television as the dominant form of entertainment.

Firesign Theatre, Amos 'n' Andy, and Suspense FTW, ya'll.

[Xos]

Granted, but then, uh, no that's just pretty twisted on its own. Any twisting anyone else did, would just make it make sense.

I wish I wasn't so excited about a nearly finished character concept.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted however now all your characters are so boring we dont see you on here any more :(

i wish this thread wasn't evil and really granted the wishes

[AdventWings]

Granted. This thread is now boring. :p

Now, that wasn't evil, was it? :D

I wish money grew on trees. ;)

[Skie and Avery]

Granted! You now have a money tree. The good news - the fruit of this tree ripens fast, making you a very rich man quickly. The bad news, it begins to decay and fall apart in your hands the moment you pick it. =( The worst news, just growing the tree gets you in trouble with the Department of Homeland Security who think that it's a new and unusual sort of biological weapon. As George W. Bush puts it, "Somethin' like that's gotta be nu-cu-ler, right? Heh heh heh." They confiscate your tree and put you in prison, where the only thing that's ripe is your budding passion to not drop the soap.

I wish my fat dog would just explode.

[Varia]

Granted, but it explodes all over your face sending FLAMING HOT BALLS OF FAT onto your skin. :/


I wish people would wake up.

[orphans]

Wish granted. Everyone around the world wakes up but is unable to fall asleep. 96+ hours later, much of the human population of Earth begins to grow insane and Bush decides that the 4000 something off nukes need to be shared with the rest of the world. The End :D


I wish life was a game with a reset button.

[Ataraxis]

Granted. I am now conscious and ready to bring all kinds of wrong upon you! <3

Gurh!

Granted! When you encounter a rub in life that you can't seem to scratch, you push the reset button in your navel. You then remember that you didn't save your game, and start to the moment your mother gave birth to you. You are traumatized from being shoved headfirst through woman's vagina while completely conscious of what is happening to you. You end up in an asylum from the trauma, and the straight-jacket keeps you from resetting!

I wish I were a Space Tyrant who knew the hidden assassination art of Death Ballet.

[Varia]

Granted. But while flying around in your space tyrant-ey ship, you get sucked through a wormhole and flown far, far away from earth. You're now light years away from all your friends and family, and forced to live with alien rebels in a big living ship named Moya.

I wish Jean would get on msn.

[Ataraxis]

Oh, she knows I have my period everyday, and she knows how me having periods is abnormal!

Granted, but the guy who makes all those music clips in elevators shafts you in one, and you begin wearing trashy clothing and singing songs about promiscuity to make up for your bloody loss of innocence. You then marry Kevin Federline.

I wish I had the power of Space Compression/Expansion/Manipulation, as well as complete control over it!

[Xos]

Granted, but while you sleep you accidentally compress yourself into a black hole and take the Earth with you.

I Wish you hadn't done that.

[Ataraxis]

Well that doesn't sound like complete control over it, and technically unlikely, but heck.

Granted. Instead, I compress myself into a black hole while awake, then reverse the polarity to spew out the Earth! However, the planet has become barren lands and watery graves, as all humanity was lost to the tidal forces that storm inside it. Mollusks begin their evolution into the prime sentient life form of the planet. They live on Quizno's Sub.

I wish cows farted oxygen.

[Xos]

Granted, but we breath methane instead.

I wish I could fly like an Eagle, to the sea, fly like an Eagle let my spirit carry me.

[thorn aldsmith]

granted, the people love you, all the people love you you are amazing people fight just to get near you, the people you really love get killed for having to much of your affection.

i wish i wasn't so easily depressed

[googlyeyesultra]

Granted, but now you are easily irritable instead. Your boss fires you because you yelled at him, and now you have something to be really depressed about.

I wish that my wish wouldn't be turned against myself or anything I love.

[Xos]

Granted, now its turned against anyone you love.

I Wish I lived inside the internet.

[AsukaStrikes]

Granted.

You now have no real body and a single server reset causes you to no longer exist.

I wish I wasn't so Existentialistic in my thought process. But you really have to wonder... "What are we?"

[Karuka]

Granted. Your existential thinking buzzes around in Raven's brain and he gets hit by a bus. You don't think anymore. Ever again.

:( I hate you now.


I wish I'd gotten a better night's sleep.

[Laurea Aeglos]

Granted. You get you better nights sleep but still wake up feeling grumpy, groggy and tired.

I wish I could look at my notebook and find my stories written for me just how I want them to be.

[Karuka]

Granted. But then whoever wrote them sues you for plagiarism, and when we find out that it's been plagiarized, we don't let you roleplay on Althanas anymore.

I wish I could see.

[AdventWings]

You wish you could see? Wish granted.

You also received the ability to see dead people, which prompts you to say this line almost every other 10 minutes.

"I see dead people."

:D

And don't worry, I haven't been hit by a bus. Yet.

I wish I had more than 150 bucks a month as allowance. :p

[Xos]

Granted, but now you have to pay the government some form of taxes.

I Wish I wasn't quite so imaginitive this morning. You see, I'm seeing a flower growing out of the side of my moniter. I know its not there, Logic and reason tells me its not there. My hand can pass right through it. Yet I see it all the same. Beautiful Sunflower though.

[Artifex Felicis]

Granted, and you get busted by the Police the moment you stop, who claim you're being a thought-criminal. You get erased from history rather easily.

I wish I had some candy, and that the bad stuff happens after the candy.

[Aiko]

You get the most delicous Jawbreaker in the world, and enjoy it thoroughly. Then you contract Diabetes.

I wish I had an Everlasting Gobstopper.

[orphans]

Wish granted. You are now gifted with an Everlasting Gobstopper who in turn is actually a sentient being and somehow manages to kill you. Thus, it is known as the "Everlasting Gobstopper" for being able to preserve its own being through the history of man!

I wish that time flies like a fish.

[Karuka]

Umm...yeah. About that. You've just sentenced the history of the universe to "wheeeeeeeeee!!!!" ... "flop" and everyone dies. Congratulations.

I wish...that I had someone around here to poke.

[Xos]

Granted, but that person pokes back.

I Wish I had the strongest coffee iin the world. You know, the kind of coffee that could jump out of the pot and go ten rounds with the world Super heavyweight boxing champ.

[Breaker]

Granted, but it keeps you awake so long your mind folds in on itself from lack of dreaming.

I wish there weren't four huge holes dribbling blood in my mouth.

[Xos]

Granted, now their dribling Corrisive Gas, due to your body becoming more Draconic, because your ancestors were really Green Corrisive gas Breathing Dragons, like Xos.

Such a small price to pay for good Coffee, its worth it.

I wish I really was a Green Corrisive Gas Breathing Dragon.

[AdventWings]

Wish granted.

You are now declared "Endangered Species" and whisked away by Secret Federal Official, claiming to be from Sector 7, and subject you to all kinds of horrendous scientific experiments.

On the plus side - you have your own room, all the food you want to eat (except before and after tests which come very often) and you don't have to work! Isn't that great?

I wish I wasn't so lazy. :p

[Xos]

Granted, your a scientist, and join me in "Sector 7."

I wish we weren't in Sector seven.

[AdventWings]

Granted. ;)

Now you have no one to break you out when the other scientists wanted to see what's inside your head... by conducting brain surgery. :eek:

I wish I have the ability to communicate with animals. :p Myu~

[Xos]

Granted, right after I eat those pesky humans and lay waste to their civilizations, I give you the ability to talk to me, as I'm the only other remaining being on the planet. Okay, world reset, everythings back to normal.

I wish I could walk on water.

[streak101]

granted, but a week later you commit a crime and the police come after you, they chase you towards a lake, where you can dive in, swim deep enough and avoid the bullets, but oh no! You can't since you can only walk on water, and so you get lit up by automatic rifles and die.

I wish I was the really really horrible make a wish foundation

[Nadia]

You are. But, you now also have cancer and two hours to live.

I wish I had some tacos.. crunchy shell, meat and cheese.. and safe for me to eat between the time I get them and twenty four hours after I get them. Also, no pubes in the wrapper.

[Karuka]

Granted. You get your tacos and are driving home...when all of a sudden a semi runs into your car. Good tacos, and you didn't even get to eat them.

I wish I knew where my CD was that my little sister lost somewhere in the house.

[Nadia]

Well, you find out.. but where it was and what it was being used for will forever haunt you, and you won't be able to listen to any of those songs ever again for fear of being reminded of that trauma..

I wish the Tetris Song wasn't stuck in my head.. da dadaum dumdumda dadadum dumdumda da du-dum da da dum dum dum-da~ dadadum dum-da dadadum dadadum-dum da da dum.

[Xos]

Granted, now you have the singularly most annoying song in the world stuck in your head, as sang by the singularly most annoying singer in the world, and it won't stop. All efforts to make it stop fail, as does suicide. Nobody else can kill you either. You live forever, with the song in your head.

I wish I was meaner.

[Nadia]

You are meaner.. but somehow every mean thing you do happens to be, in the popular view, extremely kind and generous.


I wish Barney was green instead of purple.

[Mark]

Granted. A green Barney is exponentially more popular, enabling a newly found Barney Corp. to perform the world's largest corporate merger with Microsoft. Windows monopolizes the market, but is replaced by an obnoxious Barney-themed operating system.

I wish I had one more wish.

[Siren]

Granted. But it's strapped to a bomb, which is attached to your small intestine.


I wish someone would give me flowers.

[Nadia]

you get flowers.. they're beautiful..
You get them every day, but you don't know who it is
one day, you get the flowers and a cassette with The Police's "Every breath you take"on it for the entire tape. over and over again
You start getting letters in the mail.. pictures of you.
It doesn't end until that someone gets you..

I wish that stupid lawsuits were no longer allowed in the US

[Artifex Felicis]

Granted, then thousands of people who survive on those lawsuits die out. (is that a bad thing?)

And you, uh, get AIDs.

I wish the bubonic plague would come around. Yay CF immunity!

[Karuka]

Everyone who feeds you dies. You then starve to death.


I wish the stuff I had to do was at a more reasonable time. Like...four in the afternoon, instead of 7:50 in the morning.

[Artifex Felicis]

Granted, now you have to do stuff at 730 AM like me. >_<

I wish I eated breakfast instead of searching for socks.

[Karuka]

Granted. Now you work all day in the hot sun barefoot. But you eated breakfast. it was poptarts.


I wish that sunflower was gone. It's runty and annoying.

[AdventWings]

Wish Granted.

But then you got something else that looks and acts like sunflower. Except its name was Bill.

>.>

I wish I don't have a twisted sense of humor. (Is that a bad thing?)

[Xos]

Granted, but now your boring.

You are meaner.. but somehow every mean thing you do happens to be, in the popular view, extremely kind and generous.


Then I win! By twisting my own wish before I wished it, it made you untwist it back to my original intent thus getting exactly what I wished for in the first place without any negative side effects.

Alright, new game.
I Wish my Father could read and write but he can't, seriously.

[AsukaStrikes]

Wish granted. Now the Secret Government Officials take your father away, claiming that he is in need of "medical assisstance."

I frankly don't know if that's good or bad.

I wish I could construct a life-like humanoid machine that I can implant my ghost into. Preferably without having to ghost-dub someone else.

[Karuka]

Granted. But, like early gen computers, your early gen android crashes frequently, and you suffer frequent and frustrating bouts of amnesia. Until the drive crashes permanently.

I wish the house would keep itself in order.

[AdventWings]

Well, hopefully Asuka didn't use a Windows-based OS. :p

Wish granted. The house keeps itself tidy. You were thrown out the door in the process. :D

I wish I don't have to pay anything for online time, Nya~ :p

[Moonlit Raven]

Granted. You no longer have to have to pay your your net usage. As result those that still do get jealous enough to smash any computer you come into contact with.


I wish summer would end. Me + heat = x.x

[INDK]

Granted, the summer has ended, but only because Armageddon has come to Earth! If you think the summer is hot, try hell.

I wish that the University of Iowa was located on the East Coast.

[AdventWings]

Wish granted. Now when you travel around campus, you're forced to walk with a lantern and listen to the constant blaring of the fog horn. :D

I wish Summer was a bit more chilly than now. >.< (Is getting 30+ degrees Celsius days on average)

[Artifex Felicis]

Granted. It's now -30- degrees Celsius on days instead.

I wish I didn't have 700 posts to go through.

[Chiroptera]

You don't. Your moderator status has been revoked and you've been banished from Althanas.



I wish Batman was real and in love with me.

[Karuka]

Granted. Now you have dates cut short and cancelled randomly, and long nights wondering if he'll survive this next thing. That's hell enough for anyone.

I wish I could conjure stuff like food and water.

[Call me J]

Granted, but your wizardry is considered blasphemous and as a result you are denounced as a witch.

I wish that I had more time and less responsibility.

[Xos]

Granted, but then people beg you for food and water, and if you won't give it to them freely, they then hold everyone you love dearly hostage and force you to give it to them. You eventually die from excessive Magic use.
Edit: Ninja'd

Granted, but then you die of boredom and sloth.

I wish I knew how much for that puppy in the window. The one with the waggly tail. ( A cookie if you get the refrence, mine are soft, moist, chewy, and enhance your positive aspects temporarily.)

[Christoph]

Granted, but it the store only takes human souls as currency. Furthermore, you die on account of making a reference to a bad children's song. :p

I wish, I wish I was a fish.

[Siren]

Granted. But then I stab you and fillet you for picking up my brainwave.


I wish my headache would go away.

[Christoph]

Granted, but only because your head exploded, thus making a headache impossible due to lacking a head.

I wish the customers at Burger King weren't so stupid and annoying.

[AsukaStrikes]

Wish Granted.

All the stupid and annoying customers turn into intellectuals out for lunch. They find out the Burger King you work at is substandard compared to other Burger King branches. As a result, no one comes to your Burger King at all.

I wish showers weren't so cold.

[Xos]

Granted now every time you shower you suffer third degree burns. Infact, anytime you touch any liquid you suffer third degree burns, no matter how cold it really is. Ice, as a frozen object is uneffected by this curse, however once it melts it is aqain a liquid.

I wish it was December 12, 2012.

[Karuka]

Wonderful. You've just brought about the end of the world.


I wish I didn't have to sand and paint a hundred little metal dowels.

[Xos]

Granted, now you have to sand and paint 100 little wooden dowels.

I wish I could perfectly and accuratly understand the Female mind.

[Christoph]

Granted. But now they're all freaked out because you know their secrets and you'll still never get a girlfriend. :p

I wish I could fly!

[Atzar]

Granted, but you never learned how to land. Nobody can stay up forever...

I wish I wasn't bored.

[AdventWings]

Wish granted. Now you're boring. :p

I wish the sky would rain down star candies from time to time. :D

[streak101]

Granted.

BUT! Those start shaped candies are rather sharp falling from the atmosphere either burning into bits before they land, or singing into the earth and shredding through anything lse in its path. Unfortunately, you open your mouth to catch said star shaped candies, and end up getting one - through your head.

Have a nice day! :D

I wish I was three inches taller.

[Artifex Felicis]

Granted, but you also needed to break you leg bones to do so and add metal plates to increase your height, forever preventing you from standing up straight for longer then a minute.

I wish I didn't have to get up at 0600 for work five days a week.

[Xos]

Granted, now you have to get up at 0600 four days a week, and at 0300 on the fifth.

I wish we could surf the internet like they do in futurama with those cool helmets and gloves. It'd be kinda neat to actually walk the internet.

[Karuka]

Granted. The massive amounts of information make your brain explode.


I wish I wasn't ill at the moment.

[Xos]

Granted, but now you have no immune system and have to live in a bubble the rest of your life.

[Christoph]

Your wish is granted; you cease to exist.

I wish I had pie right now.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Granted. However, the baker had a secret vendetta against you, and placed a bear trap underneath the crust and filling, awaiting the fateful day you cut into the pie.



I wish I could do something about the rude geriatrics I have to deal with at work.

[Wraith]

Granted. But you're still ugly-tastic. Your sad life ends when you come to this realization; well that and when you realize that even your hands ball up when they try to love you. You commit suicide by plunging out your internal organs. The funeral is small and nobody attends. But still, you don't have to worry about old people anymore.

Except in death, where they bother you constantly.

I wish someone would die, right now, that isn't me.

[Karuka]

Granted. But it's the one person you hold dearest (and yes, you know there's at least one person you care about). You go insane and stab out your eyes for having committed such an atrocious act.


I wish I had a wish.