AsukaStrikes vs Damian : Candle Light Sonata

[AsukaStrikes]

Serenity.

A word to describe the air; a word befitting the atmosphere within the threshold of the amber-hue room.

There was not a sound resonating within the walls, not a breeze to stir the amber flames dancing above the reed-mat floor. Not entirely large in itself, the room was bare of any and all distraction.

Wafts of incense permeated the room, drifting lazily in the windless air to the simplistic sliding doors. Amidst the dim candle lights, in front of the gigantic bronze statue of a coiling dragon, sat the lonesome figure of the Warrior of the Dajas Pagoda.

...Kazen...

Odd twists and turns of events seemed to follow Asuka in her wake everywhere she went. It was merely a few weeks ago she was approached by a stranger, saying they wanted her to hold a position within the Dajas Pagoda as one of their warriors. At first, she turned them down, smelling a fishy deal from their sweet-talking and suspicious looks. The Akashiman swordmaiden had heard plenty about the fabled tower through her roaming, though rumor also had it the Pagoda had been closed down years before.

Looking back on it now, it all seemed a dream.

A dream, that was how it appeared. Because of her fame from advancing so far in the recent Serenti Invitational, the officials in the Pagoda decided to recruit her to work for their cause. She never thought about holding such a position, as her ultimate destiny was to search for a person from the Yamihara household. But, who knows there that girl went. And who knows if she would end up showing up in one of these arenas. Only time would tell.

Not today.

...Give me strength...

Rising from the woven reed mat, the warrior heaved a sigh as the sliding door sounded the arrival of her opponent. Taking one last glance at the statue of the Emerald Wind Dragon, she turned around to face the challenger.The red-hair maiden stared forward, her coppery flowing locks glowing in the candle light. Her sword sheathed on her right leg, ready to strike when the time was right.

"Damian Delta, I presume. Welcome to the Dajas Pagoda."

[Damian]

Scara Brae

Damian passed through this island about a year ago, just a couple of weeks after his “accident” that gave him his curse. He detested the island, there was no place he found that could offer him the sanctuary he needed. But there was one item in Scara Brae that peeked his interest: The Dajas Pagoda. He heard from local barkeeps and tavern patrons that the mythical tower once held epic fights with god-like enemies and that the common fighter could challenge these war machines. Damian knew there were bits of exaggeration in the description of the tower, but one thing was clear; Damian wanted to be a part of it. Unfortunately it was closed during his stay on the island.

But one day while walking through Underwood, Damian heard rumors that the Pagoda was reopening. After he thoroughly checked the validity of these rumors he instantly sent a request for a battle. Quicker then he imagined he received his acceptance from the Warrior Asuka Murakama. He dropped all of his current jobs and trekked to Gisela to take the next ferry to Scara Brae.

Damian stood in front of the Pagoda; ignoring all the citizens who are bustling for the grand opening, smiling to himself he strode into the tower. The grand opening, I am a part of it. Damian, with apathy, introduce himself and was quickly shown were his battle will take place. The Pagoda’s attendants hurried Damian to a wooden sliding door and bowed slightly as they left the werewolf with his thoughts.

This will be the beginning of my ascent.

Damian harshly pushed his breath through his canine enhanced teeth. He settled his nerves and willed the beast inside of him to settle as well. He palmed the door and slid it effortlessly. The pungent smell of wax and incense smoothed over his olfactory senses as he entered the arena.

The arena itself was a simple room with its only light source emanating from plain wax candles that lined the walls. On the far side of room was a metallic statue of some serpent with a mat in front of it, obviously used for praying. But the object that interested him the most was the woman with the deep crimson hair and three foot sword strapped to her leg. Asuka Murakama.

"Damian Delta, I presume. Welcome to the Dajas Pagoda." Asuka welcomed Damian into the arena.

Damian walked in the center of the arena and spun on his heels to face his opponent. His white hair swirled around his face and shoulders and his leather duster around his legs mocking the hair. “I am indeed Damian Delta. And you must be the Warrior Asuka Murakama.” Damian bowed his head slightly never letting his gaze leave Asuka’s emerald eyes. “I am pleased to help with the grand opening of the Pagoda,” Damian’s expression showed a somber face as he expressed his glee.

[AsukaStrikes]

Asuka said nothing as the challenger made his banter, the lass merely throwing off her worn leather jacket in response. She was not here for the chit-chat. Not for the glory of the battle, either. If it had been before, it was for the glory of the battle and the rush of being in the eye of the storm.

Not anymore.

She was here only for the money - fighting for that small pouch of gold the rank of warrior would get at the end of the day. It was not much, but she knew it would put her one step closer to resuming her quest. No endeavor had no want for gold.

...But why not enjoy a bit of this while you're at it, Asuka?

It was a good idea, after all.

"Let's get it on, Damian." The swordmaiden grinned, tossing her coppery hair once before falling into a battle stance. "But~ Since you're the challenger, I'll give you the honors of attacking first. Warrior's courtesy, if you will."

Lie. She only wanted to see this man's moves before making her own. In many battles before, the lass would simply charge in without a second thought and ended up floored by even the greenest of Coronian Army cadets. She was not going to make the mistake again - after all, if she could see how the other person roll, it would only be a matter of skill and timing that would earn her the rightful title of the victor.

Standing a good ten feet away from each other, the room went still as amber candle light cut through the darkness. There was not a stir of air disrupting the steady flow of incense, with the gigantic bronze dragon keeping watch over the arena as if it was the sacred battleground's guardian.

Let's see what you got, bud.

[Damian]

Damian watched the grace in Asuka’s moves as she tossed aside her leather jacket and assumed a battle stance he has never witnessed. She moved harshly but with a central balance that could only be gained from experience on the battle field. Her hair swooned around her face in a loose ponytail, her eyes blazed a green fire, and her hands hovered over her sheathed blade but yet she did not draw. She encouraged the white haired wolf to begin the battle, a ploy she is constructing he believed. As tradition with Damian, when he has the time, he checks his equipment that is situated around his waist. Claws in the back. Dagger on the left. Knife on the right. He smiles inward as he checks his bracers on each forearm, the bracers themselves are hidden under the sleeves of the leather duster.

Damian eyed the ten feet that lay before the fighters. He shifted his weight from one foot to another, the ground gave a little but it was sturdy. Solid ground, textured, a couple of steps and I am on top of her. His sapphire and emerald eyes scanned the arena once more as he nodded in agreement to Asuka’s request to start the fight. The amber flicker of candle light seemed to make the room toss and turn; a slight wave of motion sickness washed over Damian. He mentally shook himself back into the battle.

His hands felt cold and clammy, his stomach stopped digesting, his heart raced; all signs that his adrenaline was pumping freely. The beast inside of his head was quickly breaking down the mental cage that constricted it. He took one last breath to calm himself and willed the beast to settle once more. Preparations are over. Let’s begin. Not drawing her sword will be her first mistake. Drawing a sword of that length will take time; I will be able to get my first attack in unscathed.

Damian reached for his dagger with his left hand. He shot out his left arm, making his elbow pop with some discord, and let the dagger fly, blade tip first toward Asuka’s unprotected torso. But not holding anything back, Damian quickly ran toward his opponent. He crouched down planting his left hand on the ground; he withdrew the knife with his right. With his right arm and knife pressed up against his body, he let his feet sail forward aiming for Asuka’s foremost leg.

[AsukaStrikes]

Thump- Thump- Thump-

Asuka shifted her weight from one foot to another, her form minutely bouncing to the rhythm of her heartbeat. Eyes straight forward, left shoulder leading and one hand hovering near the ring of her sword. If he was going to attack, she would see it coming. If he was going for a bluff, she would see it in his eyes. If he was going all out, she would see a path to floor the kid in one clean strike.

If he was coming for an attack, she would see it coming. Although ten feet was not that much of a distance - to be completely honest with herself, ten feet was a distance she would rather not keep between any target of attack. It was such a short distance, so close she could see the white in his eyes. So close she could feel the tension rising from his hair, an intense nervousness and anticipation so thick one could cut with a knife.

Like the small blade that raced to meet her heart.

But she saw it coming since the fighter went for his daggers. Asuka stepped back almost in sync with the withdrawal of Damian's hand, her form already shifting backwards to compensate for any follow-up attack. She had seen one too many of this kind, a feint strike and a real second strike aimed to maim or kill. She was not going to have any of it.

The knife grazed by her shoulder as she slid to her right, a small red line forming on her exposed left shoulder but without much consequence. The lass contemplated on drawing her sword, but hastily decided that it would be ill-form to unsheath such a weapon until she knew exactly what she was dealing with. Instead, seeing the opponent's blade drawn, she withdrew towards the wooden pillar in a hasty retreat to put some distance between them. And it was good of her to do that, too, as the leg shot out and nearly tripped the lass on her way out.

Taking a few seconds to weave about the polished wooden floor, putting about ten yards or so between herself and the blade-weilding fighter, Asuka creaked a small grin of satisfaction and rubbed the wound on her shoulder. It would heal in time, the lass reasoned while still training her thoughts on the white-hair challenger. The person before her would be the bigger problem than a small nick on the arm.

"Not bad, Damian." She taunted, wiping away the crimson line on her left shoulder. "Though I do hope you have more than just knife-throwing as a distraction."

The maiden merely grinned back at the expression she was receiving, knowing she probably had tugged at some nerve in his mind. With a coy smile, she turned away from her target and blew on a nearby flame.

Relinquished of its flame, a part of the room faded into darkness as the sly chuckle of the Pagoda Warrior echoed through the windless room. Partly shrouded in the cloak of shadows, the copper-hair maiden lifted the saucer-shaped lamp off its perch and held it in her hand, casually waiting for her prey to dart in with teeth bare and claws outstretched.

[Damian]

Asuka’s pant leg tugged slightly against Damian’s foot as it sails past the fleeing copper haired warrior. Damian, not expecting this reaction, landed hard on the smooth wooden floor, a small grunt escaped his lips. He rolled the opposite way his opponent ran; he pushed his way to his feet rubbing his bruised hip. Damian, still showing no expression, took a wide defensive stance; his arms protecting his body and face, knees bent for a low center of gravity. The mercenary faced Asuka sideways, giving her a smaller target, he prepared for her counterattack but none came.

The warrior’s only actions were mocking words to Damian’s first strike. No sooner had she berated him than did a veil of hungry darkness consume her side of the room. The caged animal clawed and gnashed the conscious walls of it prison, but Damian paid no attention to it. His anger boiled to the lack of assaults thrown at him. The added pressure of being in the Pagoda and his opponent’s devious ploys, and now hearing the high pitched giggle echo across the barren room, finally made Damian snap and lose concentration over the beast within. The mangy mutt mauled its way into freedom and ran its bloodlust into Damian’s veins.

As the transition happened, the wolf’s breathing became labored and forced. He gripped his body as to stop it from being ripped apart. Sweat formed and clung as liquid leeches to his brow and chest. He finally stood at a rigid ease, he laughed deeply with a hoarse voice to Asuka’s obvious ploy.

“You will have to try harder than that bitch,” Damian spat the voices as venom. He gripped the lower hem of his duster and approached one of the lighted walls. Darkness crawled after the white wolf as he ran around the rest of the walls extinguishing all light. Damian felt his pupils dilate as his werewolf eyes sucked it in. Reaching into his back pocket he produced his leather clawed gloves, he slide them on effortlessly, he smelt the faint stench of blood rise from the fingertips. The pupils in his eyes consumed the once colorful iris, now turned his eyes to a vast dark window which sank into his soul.

“I see you,” the wolf laughed at Asuka, as he ran back and forth across the floor. He pounded his feet on the floor as he sprinted side to side, to make sure his opponent would be disoriented from all the sounds. Closer and closer to the bewildered warrior the white wolf stalked. Then nothing, all sound ceased, the last of the footsteps echoed silently as Damian was airborne claws outstretched to meet Asuka’s body.

Sorry for the delay long weekend and had to work 18 hours on monday.

[AsukaStrikes]

((One Warning for over-extending the 72-hour Limit. One warning for me as well. Oy.))

Hmm... Now that's going to be a problem...

Asuka tried to make out the challenger's movement as he flung himself about the room, the tiny flames disappearing one by one in his fleeting movement's wake. She also did not like the tone of his voice, a drastically different taste to the words from the previous line she heard him say. It was... It was as if he was now someone different - changed from a rather uninteresting man to a dangerous beast.

Maybe I should've give him a good whack in the head before he gets any more out of his mind...

The warrior maiden contemplated on her next move, trying to catch glimpses of the white-hair challenger in the dim-lit room. To be completely honest with herself, she could even barely see the ring pommel of her Kazeryu reaching up to her side. Carefully balancing the dish of oil in her right hand as she listened to Damian's movements, she slowly backed away from where she last saw him before he disappeared in a blur of white and brown. Almost immediately, her back impacted the wooden pillar and the lass nearly spilt the pungent oil all over her leg.

Ugh, that was close...!

And almost immediately, the idea came to mind.

Lucky for her as well, for the wolf came charging forward in the darkness, its flurry of feet resounding against the spacious halls as if coming from a thousand directions. The maiden backed herself against the column in hoping to force the beast to charge at her from the front - at least, for her, there was one direction she would not have to worry about.

And then all was silent.

... -SHOOT!

She had heard many things and seen much in her travels, from the way the birds tap the side of trees in search for juicy grubs to the resounding leaps the Draves of Corone use to take down their prey. Even from afar, she could feel the heat of battle and cringed at the thought of being caught between it and the ground. She realized that if she stayed standing there for a second longer, she could very well be the same as that hapless prey the Drave was soon feasting upon.

Asuka wasted no time rolling onto her left shoulder, just seconds after her ears picked up the whisper of cloth sailing against still air, and tossed the saucer of oil into the air where she once stood. Landing hard against the solid reed mats, the maiden came to a skidding halt and finally rolled onto her feet, immediately flashing the steel longsword from his sheath and laid it flat against her forearm. If anything, the feral man would have to get through her blade before getting a bite of her flesh.

Bring it on, doggy-boy.

[Damian]

Damian saw the warrior roll away from his lofty attack. He landed hard, the wood floor shook as his feet crashed upon it. The wolf did a backwards glance to see Asuka tumble and regain herself a few yards behind him. “Hahaha-…” Damian abruptly stopped laughing because of a soft gurgle. The idea of a stream invaded his mind, but the gurgle was different then a stream but definitely liquid in nature. “No!” His black eyes shot wide as the memory of Asuka giggling and blowing out the candle came to him. The fucking candle saucer. He tired to step back, but due to awkward placement of his feet, he only managed to lean away from the wall. The scorching liquid spilled from its golden perch and splattered on Damian’s left leather duster sleeve, the saucer fell loudly onto the floor with a hollow clank. The oil’s fragrance enveloped and intoxicated him; the scent was heavenly and reminded Damian of the fresh flowers in Luna’s garden during the spring.

Hey, concentrate boy! I don’t care about your pathetic memories.

Damian was partly annoyed at his darker conscious for blowing him off. The oil on his duster radiated a small amount of warmth through the leather but otherwise his flesh was untouched. With his right hand, Damian brushed away the heavenly/hellish liquid. He felt the leather on the sleeve, once smooth as silk, was now pitted from the boiling liquid. The werewolf turned toward Asuka, who now finally withdrew her sword and perched it like an eagle on her forearm, and howled a symphony of pain and amusement.

“Hahaha,” the howl died into a hellish cackle “now this is entertainment.” Damian slowly started to walk around the perimeter of the room, grabbing one of the saucers that were left. He examined the saucer; he noticed how plain they were no engraving, no signatures, just nothing. Unamused he tossed the dish across the room, letting it spill its heavy aroma oil on the floor. “But warrior, you will not be able to use your sense of smell to find me in the darkness,” the wolf watched as the copper haired woman shifted her position to the sound of his voice and feet. “Now my fair lady lets make this battle even more interesting.”

As Damian stood to the right of Asuka, he crouched down low and took long strides on the balls of his feet. Careful not to make a sound onthe wooden floor he approached her from behind. He held his breath as he made his last step toward her. Crouched and ready to spring, Damian was only two feet away from her backside. He raised his gloved claws and cupped his hands; he made all the nails on both hands come together to rest the tips into one equally sharp point. Effortlessly he cocked his arms back and shot his hands forward to Asuka’s kidneys.

[AsukaStrikes]

Rats. And I was hoping that would work at least for a little while...

Asuka was disappointed at how quickly her plan had been foiled. But on hindsight, it was not a very good plan to begin with. The room was airless to begin with, no wind to stir the scent and bring it to her nose. Any kind of smell she could pick up would have to come from very close by, if not too close for comfort. And from the sound of her opponent's cackle, it did not look like the indirect damage was enough to deter his assault, either.

Well, time for Plan B.

But what was Plan B, she had to ask herself. She was never one to be good with planning out attack points and tactics, a flaw she was now going to regret. And because she did not take into account how the sudden extinguishing of lights would cause the entire room to literally disappear, let alone an enemy that could see in the dark, it was just the needed ingredients for a tasty demise. Her demise.

Well... If not smell, then... The clatter of a discarded vessel resonated off to her left, making the hair on her neck stand on ends as her head snapped towards its location. Forget it... I can't even see the tip of my fingers.

Sound was not even an option. She could barely hear the man's footsteps, not even the ominous creaking floor that most tavern bars tend to have. It was the tatami mats, after all, which both cushioned and softened the footfall of even an untrained greenhorn. The arena floor lining was there to provide a bit of respite when one should take the fall - at least it would only be a numbing headache when you fall on your face instead of a crushed jawbone. A gift and a curse when your only senses that seemed to be working were your ears.

Darnit! Where'd that guy disappear to?!

If the room had not been airtight as it was, Asuka was sure even a slight stir of wind would be enough to dislodge her rationalities and lash out at every single breeze. So far, nothing out of the ordinary reached her mind. However, that put her on edge even more - when you become blinded, it was not hard for your mind to play tricks on you. Especially if you knew death was lurking around the corner.

"...Well, then..." The lass managed a forced, shivered comment to no one in particular as the prowler homed in on her form. "I guess... I'll just have to go to Plan C..."

-SLASH!

The swordmaiden howled as Damian's claws dug into her waist, the tremors of pain ripping through her entire lower back and threatening to tear out her spine. Falling on her knees from the attack, the maiden reached to grab the offending weapons before they had a chance to retract. Even still, the voices in her head cried Pull them out! For the love of Kazen, pull THEM OUT! but her hands remain steadfast.

Unimaginable pain wreaked havoc in her head... But it was something she had already felt once before. For had she not been through the Serenti... poked full of holes and then doused in sea water... nearly cleaved in half at the waist by a titan of a man... broken her fists once too many times on some thug's face... This pain, she would have to endure. If anything, she was looking forward to it.

For it meant Plan C worked. At least, half of it did.

Even as her back spazzed in horror to the foreign pieces of metal, Asuka clenched her fist blindly and drew her sword hand forward... With Kazeryu running down the side of her arm, she slammed the sword back against the invisible target and hoped to catch the blade against his arm.

Pity. He should have tried hitting her in the face with a thrown knife than attempting to gut her with his arms. For once, since the unforeseen lights-out trick, Asuka knew where her opponent was. And he was going to pay for it.

Big time.

[Damian]

Involuntary muscle spasms made Damian’s claws tremble with each of their twitches. He could feel Asuka’s blood run slick in between his gloved fingers, the full bodied scent emitted from the free flowing liquid. The blood ran surging rapids out of the warrior’s new battle wounds, it settled into deltas as the blood flowed onto the leather sleeve and formed small ponds in the pitted surface. The werewolf’s blank eyes consumed the sight of the blood pools hungrily. He was snapped back to reality by the human conscious nagging him. Pull out. Damn it! Pull out. His human side regained control of his own body and yanked out his twitching fingers from Asuka’s new inch and half holes. The white wolf’s body went back to rigid battleness as his bloodlust assumed control once again.

“Don’t you ever pull that sh- ARGHHH!”

If his fingers were still inside her wounds, he would have felt her controlled muscle movements as Asuka turned her back slightly to swing her sword. But alas he was caught off guard but not unprepared. Damian’s arms were held up in front of his body, much like a boxer’s honor stance. The maiden’s swing was wide and wild, and luckily it hit Damian in his most protected area. The three foot, double edged sword cut through the leather duster easily enough, but it did not penetrate the iron bracer on his left arm. Sparks flew inside the wolf’s sleeve, the sudden sparks however dim still managed to burn their afterimage into Damian’s retinas.

As the sword finished it trek along his bracer it found its mark on the other arm. The gleam off the bracer made the sword change direction and it managed to cut into Damian’s right hand. As the leather spilt apart it revealed a dark horizontal line that ran across his right hand.

The white werewolf yelped in pain as he tucked his right shoulder and rolled across the bamboo laden floor. His body passed over the remains of the spilled oil that Damian threw a minute ago, making his retreat a little slick. He cupped his semi-closed right hand with his left and forced himself to control his breathing. As his senses calm he tried to see his surrounding, but to no avail. The dim sparks still left their afterimage burned into his vision.

So Damian closed his eyes and listened for his worthy opponent’s movements.

[AsukaStrikes]

The swing went wide and uncontrolled, the lass went even wider and fell to the floor. She might not have seen the actual damage, or even the unflattering result, but she could feel it strike home after the initial skid. It did not matter much now, however, as she writhed in pain with a hand trying to plug the gaping hole in her back.

Kh- Dame kuzo-!

Asuka hoped Kazeryu would really dig into her opponent's arm like she wanted, but she had neglected to realize he was wearing steel bracers on both. The plans hit replay and raced through her head, wondering what would happen if she tried to strike the head instead. Or what if she tried a kick? Or even try to wrap the wolfman's arms against her before he could retreat so they could get things done up close and personal? All the thoughts and "what ifs" mingled in the spasms of pain and sparks of fire snapping at her head from within, making the warrior grunt in frustration as she finally found where the ground was.

Alright... If that's how you want it...

Panting laborously, Asuka forced herself onto her legs with her left hand clenched over the hole in her right side. Warm vital fluids seeped through her gloved hands and dripped into the reed mat, staining the material red in spots and puddles. She did not need to see how large the puddles were to know she was in trouble. She could already feel herself growing weary by the second.

"Gheh." She scoffed, intentionally trying to draw attention to herself. At least it would be a good conversation starter and (hopefully) get a response from the other party. "Nice toys ya got there, Damian. Anyway, this place isn't exactly known for bringing people back from the dead and I plan on staying alive for a few more years. Whaddaya say we get this over with?"

Staggering on unsteady legs, the maiden managed to slam her back hard against one of the supporting pillars. The impact rocked the already badly-injured side, nearly causing her to drop Kazeryu in the jolt that shook her entire right side. It did, however, tip over an empty lamp stand that once held the clay dish Damian had thrown to the floor. The iron pedestal bounced noisily against the soft lining, a much clearer sign as to her position.

All part of Plan D.

"Come and get me, wolfie." She tightened her grip in her longsword, planting the blade's end into the tatami mat's fibers. It ricochet once against the fallen lamp stand in front of her before finally embedding itself into the floor, serving as a makeshift support for the weakened fighter.

Of all the things that's happened... Asuka smirked at the train of thought, straining to hear the silenced footfalls of her foe. And I had to lose to a dog-boy.

What can I say? I'm a Wildcat, after all.

[Damian]

Darkness shrouds the small room with bamboo flooring; wooden pillars and useless candles stand defiantly in the blanketing shadow. A metal dragon watches over the room with sight unseeing. And two overly proud fighters stare into the veil as they watched and listened for their invisible opponent.

Damian Delta sat, near his original entrance to this arena, with his back propped against the wall. His left gloved hand gripped his right injured fiercely; it added pressure to the wound to stop the onslaught of rushing blood. The wound itself stretched the width of his palm and was about a fingernail’s depth in his flesh. The werewolf had his eyes closed, though he still saw the bluish tint of the sparks scorched into his retinas. He listened, with over sensitive ears, to his opponent’s heavy panting. Unseen, a smile flashed across his face.

Asuka Murakama, on the opposite end of the room, leaned heavily on her sword. Her dragon statue, just to her right, watched her labored body with tentative eyes. Her heavy breathe echoed slightly in the still room. Two deep wounds on her back caused her blood to spill and created an ever increasing crimson puddle around her feet.

Though the conditions of both the fighters differ greatly, neither was going to let this fight end this way.

“I could just stay here and rest, and listen to her die. Then guess what? I win,” Damian’s darker side smiled gleefully as her contemplated his next action, or lack thereof. His human conscious shook his disembodied head, “You’re a coward, I hope you realize that.” Damian’s face grimaced as his comment struck a nerve.

“Fuck you, boy,” growled the werewolf in a voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll show you how a coward fights.” He released his left hand’s death grip and let it fall to search his waist for his blades. After a few frantic pats across his hip, he soon realized that he left both blades scattered inside the arena. He scanned the room, but his vision still was not optimal; the wolf could barely make out the outlines of Asuka and the wooden pillars around the room.

“Shit, shit, shit…”

Damian went over his options. He realized he could not attack her straight on again, despite her wounds she can still attack with that sword. So he must use his knife or dagger to finish her from afar. Damian scanned his memory of the beginning of the battle, he threw the dagger at Asuka and it stuck to the wall. The knife however was dropped when the wolf assumed control over his body. Damian got a feel for his surroundings and eyed the door he entered. “That means the dagger is next to her and that ugly serpent statue.” He was extremely disappointed with that fact, but one hope was left. His knife was somewhere in the middle of the room.

Damian’s vision returned slightly and he eyed two small dark objects on the floor, one was his last hope and the other was the saucer he discarded earlier. He slowly pushed himself to his feet, and stealthy walked on the balls of his feet to the first item. It was indeed the knife, but the handle was smeared with the slick oil of the discarded saucer.

He picked up the knife with his left hand; it felt awkward and cumbersome inside the grip of his inferior hand. With his right hand useless he had no choice, so he rearranged the blade to be pinched in-between his index and thumb and cocked his arm back over his head. With a small grunt he threw the knife ineptly at the panting form of Asuka.

But with the oil and his inexperience with his left hand, Damian did not know how well he could perform.

[AsukaStrikes]

The swordmaiden waited for her opponent to attack patiently, swaying unsteadily despite the solid support of her sword. Still, the uncertainty of her opponent's whereabouts and the condition of their arena brought doubt and frustration to the weary maiden. The room that seemed to be moving and swaying under her feet, coupled with an entirely bad feeling she was not going to make it out alive, Asuka could only hope the battle was to be ending very soon.

She almost had her wish granted when the whizzing sound of rushing wind met her ears. But with not strength left to quickly move out of the way, she closed her eyes and waited for the attack to meet its mark.

-Slice-!

The awkward blade slapped against her left cheek and embedded itself into the pillar next to her, cutting off a length of her fiery locks and smearing her wound with the rancid liquid. Cringing frrom the burn of oil in her face, Asuka wearily wiped the back of her hand against the cut in a pitiful move to alleviate the chemical burn.

Sonnova... Ha... ha...


Even as her life liquid leaked from her side and seeping into the reed mat below, the Pagoda Warrior let out a laugh that echoed through the empty room, bouncing against the walls and pillars until all that could be heard was the obnoxious laugh coming from the bleeding gal. The laughing stopped only part ways, the maiden started coughing up blood onto the floor, but resumed with low, audible chuckles.

"Heheh~ What's the matter~ Damian?" Asuka craned her head upwards, staring out into the inky blackness with a snarky grin making its way across her face. The world suddenly felt lighter - irrelevent and no longer painful. "Afraid to attack poor little me, bleeding and helpless, with those claw hands of yours again~?"

Delusional thoughts poured into her mind, which became lighter and farther away from this wretched battle with every second passed. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore; not Damian, not the Warrior status, not the Dajas Pagoda or any of the obligations she held as one of their warriors. This battle was not about them, the battle organizers trying to promote sanctioned matches rivalling that of the underground fighting ring Zirnden. This battle was not even about who will rightfully win the title of Warrior and move on to higher ranks.

This battle was all about her... and her alone.

She will win. No white-hair wolfman was going to deny that from her.

"What a coward, Damian." Laughing at the challenger as if she could see him, her pitched voice clearly growing delusional as blood seeped from the gaping wound in her side. "And I thought you were one of them fighters who'd like to pounce on their prey at the first chance they get..."

Throwing her left arm outwards and shouting out to the darkness, Asuka nearly threw herself to the ground from the swing but managed to hold her ground with her right hand still on the sword's grip.

"Well, c'mon then. We don't got all day, ya know..."

[Damian]

“See I am not the only one who thinks you are a coward mutt!” Damian’s human side mocks the wolf’s horrible display of an attack, inside his own mind. Unable to control his own body and its movements, he is thrown aside into his own mind while the cursed werewolf uses his body to accomplish his lust for another’s blood. I really wish you hurry this up, in case you haven’t noticed my nose itches.

The werewolf was already annoyed with his opponent and her lack of offensive attacks, but with the man’s conscience now jeering at his failed attack, he was pissed. “Shut up, boy. Or you won’t have a nose to itch,” the wolf added insult to injury as he took the steel nail and dug it inside the wound on the right hand. All of his nerves lit up with pain and excitement, the cold steel tip felt around inside the wound making it flare up and seep blood faster. In an instant his right hand was numb with pain, and blood had now gathered inside his glove claw and created four individual pools of crimson blood in each of the fingers.

Damian’s conscience winced from the pain in his hand; and wished that this cursed wolf would be gone from his life. In fact, that was the reason why he was so interested with the Daja’s Pagoda, Damian believed if he could reach the top of the Pagoda, he would learn how to best this demon and keep if locked up and silent for the rest of his life. Ironically, the only way he can reach the top is by using the werewolf’s power to beat each competitor. Asuka is the first in a small line of opponents that he will beat and gain the title of grandmaster of the Pagoda.

“You know you talk too much for someone who haves one foot in the grave.” The werewolf now directed his action elsewhere across the arena floor to the copper haired Warrior, who just threw her left hand out in a dramatic fashion. The maiden waved unsteadily with her right hand clutched on the handle of her sword. The sword had been stabbed into the bamboo floor, to add as a further anchor for the fading warrior; it also had a small smear of blood on the edge of the blade from where it cut into Damian’s right hand. “But don’t you worry your pretty little head; I still have some weapons left in my sneaky arsenal.” The white wolf laughed at Asuka with her hand still raised in the darkness, it seemed like she tried to feel her opponent’s movements within the currents of the stagnate air.

The air was full of clashing aromas: the heavenly oil of the overturned candle saucers, the rustic stench of blood that has been spilled from both Damian and Asuka, and the musky scent of each fighter’s bodies. The wolf’s nose wrinkled in disapproval to all the smells combing themselves together. But he pushed them away and concentrated on the heavy panting and guttural coughs from Asuka. “Well bitch, my cowardice is something to fear.”

Like a ghost in darkness, Damian sneaks across the room to the Pagoda Warrior who stands near her beloved dragon statue. He sidesteps over the heavenly scented oil, and gets into a low crouch and takes one long step. His nerves fired up again with shocking pain, as the wolf outstretched both of his hands, exposing the deep laceration in his right palm. As Damian crept closer he saw a sizable puddle of blood under Asuka’s feet from her wounds on her back. The werewolf admired his handy work as he prepared for his attack.

“So this is your last attack to finish off the fight. Seems fitting for you mutt.” The wolf in control of the body ignored the voice in his head and sprung up aiming his hands to seize control of Asuka’s arms by her wrist. As he did this he bore his final weapon; his canine like teeth, which he has used in the past without fear of having anyone else being cursed, and lunged for her throat with them.

[AsukaStrikes]

That's right, wolfie... The tired maiden's grin widened upon hearing her opponent's irritating reply. He was wrong about a few things, though.

One, she was did not have one foot in a grave. Truth be told, she was already knee-deep in her grave and continually sinking further into it by the second. Sharp pains that once poisoned her mind now flowed in steady, yet overpowering numbness that threatened to cripple her permanently. Her nerves were on fire, yet all she could feel was the distant throbbing in her head. The darkness before her started turning a tint of blue, then green and yellow invaded her vision.

Ah, hahaha... Asuka laughed to herself as she stood there, swaying and slowly drooping towards the floor. So this... is how Death feels like...

Her left arm remained rigid, sticking off to the side even has she leaned dangerously onto her sword arm. With each breath, her lungs burned with a vengeance and her throat growing dry. It was becoming too much for her to stay conscious, but she was not going to give in just yet.

...Hmmm... Pity I didn't feel this back when I was fighting in Serenti...

But why was she not fighting back actively? The question probed its way into her head many times over, despite some very good opportunities to do so during the early parts of battle. She could have done better with the candles still lit, providing neither the challenger or the warrior any distinct advantages. But with no means of finding her opponent asides from direct contact, she was a sitting duck. A frail, juicy duck at that.

I'm no duck. She mentally retorted, all the while trying to use what little senses she had left to determine her target's next plan. Plan D was still in effect, but she was not sure if he would fall for the bait.

Knowing how he eagerly took the last one, the probability was still high.

...What's Plan D, again?

-Wham!

Damian struck the fighter strong and true, Sending the maiden's feet flying out from under her air-borne form. Asuka barely had any time to react to his brutal onslaught and by the time she realized it was the werewolf's clawed hand that gripped tight around her wrist, teeth sank into the side of her neck as both of them landed hard on the ground - her right hand still weakly wrapped around Kazeryu's handle.

-Ah!

The girl inside her screamed in horrified silence as the half-canid's teeth dug into her muscle, puncturing veins and arteries as if they were mere cloth. She could even feel the man - or beast, she was no longer sure of this anymore - breathing on her skin, despite the numbing sensation of blood loss nullifying all other senses. It was a warm, vaguely nice feeling... one she was unaccustomed to even as a woman.

But her woman side had died when her mind was warped by pain. The woman side that would so much love this contact was not there to revel in it.

Her Wildcat Side was, however, and it did not like this feeling one bit.

Fighting with all the energy left inside her Asuka forced a roll onto her back which would slam the mad dog's back against the reed mat. Hoping the canine had not ripped out the side of her throat out in his mouth yet, infection of the Lycan curse aside, she brought her sword arm in a long wide swing over her fallen form. The blade raced down vertically to sink into her enemy's throat, Asuka grabbed hold of Damian's shirt and pulled him in even closer. Already feeling too light from creating the lake of red where she once stood, this was her last chance to put up any kind of fight.

If she was going down, Asuka was hell-bent on taking Damian along with her.

Don't piss off a red-head.

[Damian]

The warm fluid tasted rustic and acidic as it flowed freely from the Warrior’s throat and caressed the werewolf’s canine teeth and slowly dropped onto his tongue. The wolf eagerly lapped up Asuka’s diminishing amount of blood. With each pulse new waves of blood flowed out, he could feel her faint but steady heart beat reverberated through his teeth. His heart raced with the excitement of the kill. His “claws” held true around her wrists, pain shot up through his right palm but the white wolf was in so much rapture that the pain just became a dull noise.

The werewolf could feel her body convulse with fear and disgust. But what he took as random convulsing was actually the maiden rolling him onto his back. Oblivious to her recent offensive tactic, the wolf’s pain was increased due to his surprise.

“Ahh,” The werewolf let go of her throat and let out a hapless yelp.

“That’s what you get, you sadistic bastard. Too bad it’s only a bump on the head. “ Damian’s human side chuckled at the wolf’s misfortune. The stars he saw were big and bright and did not help to ease his daze and confusedness. Through the darken veil he could see the room spin on a lopsided axis.

Yet again, unaware to Asuka’s movements, the werewolf did not see her raise her sword up with great struggle. And with great relief let the sword slice vertically towards his throat.

“AHHHHHH”
“AHHHHHH”

Both streams of consciousness let loose a murderous scream as the sword cleaves off a chunk of Damian’s neck. Acting out of blind rage, the wolf clawed at Asuka and wormed his way out of his frail grasp. Damian crawled and rolled away from the Warrior and soon rested on the opposite wall on where he started his previous attack. He ripped off his glove claw and stuck his left hand over the gaping wound. Damian’s palm was barely big enough to apply ample pressure to the gash.

“ You fucking bastard. This is your big plan to WIN!? Fuck this! I am taking back myself. I am coming forward.”

The best way to describe his “coming forward” is like trying to walk through a doorway underwater with the werewolf’s consciousness creating a heavy rip tide leading away from the goal.

The werewolf tried to refuse the transfer but Damian’s body was weak and it has taken its toll on the wolf’s strength. New pains emerged as his body switched consciousnesses; his flesh began to sear hot with agony, his muscles, bones, and organs shifted inside of his body and settled in an awkward style. But when the pain of the transition finally settled, the pains of his battle wounds raged with fire. He gripped his neck, leaving his right palm to fend for itself. The human Damian looked up to see his opponent but saw nothing.

Darkness

The same image that Asuka has seen this entire fight now finally fell on Damian’s two-toned eyes. The wolf inside its mental cage was fast asleep with its tail in-between its legs.

“Stupid mutt,” Damian muttered under his breath as he shifted his weight against the arena wall. The shifting of his weight took enough energy that he blacked out half way through the ordeal. “I have one chance left to leave here with my life intact.”

He hoped the maiden has not realized his transformation, that she still thought the bastard wolf was in control.

In a forced unsteady imitation of the werewolf’s deep voice, Damian stated to Asuka somewhere in the darkness.

“Listen. This is not worth your life. I felt, no, I tasted your weakening condition.” Damian licked his lips and spat in disgust of the taste on iron in his mouth. “Your last blow, though effective, was the final one you will strike for this battle. You have no energy left to defend yourself and you know it. So just call it off. This is not the Citadel; life is not guaranteed after your last breath.”

Damian’s own weaken state also has left him with no energy to defend himself, he went through two transformations and suffered a major wound to his neck. But he hoped his opponent has the same weakness of pride as his darker side has.

Time will tell.

[AsukaStrikes]

Asuka almost felt like laughing.

What is he, two people in one body?

Truthfully, she wanted to laugh in his face for such a fallacy. What did he think, this little bout was going to get them both killed? Did he really believe one of them… That she was going to leave her life here as a testament to the cruel path of the world? Surely, he jest!

The Pagoda warrior forced her lips into a twisted smirk and chuckled, sending red bubbles frothing from her mouth. She wanted to walk over there, despite the darkness and her unsightly condition, and give that wolfman a swift kick to the head. What was he thinking?

Well, not like I can do that, now could I?

She knew better than going through with her wish. With her left hand wrapped across her waist and pitifully forcing the holes in her side, she could barely stretch her back without falling over from fatigue and pain. She would have gone with just laughing and mocking his weak resolve from where she laid, helpless on the chafing reed mat, but the sword hand that pressed her throat together warned her not to try and push it.

Hehe, look at me. Hahaha… The maiden merely grinned in defeat as she heard her opponent shift and shuffle in the distance, wondering when the healers of the Pagoda would arrive to whisk them away to work their magic. Slowly, but sure, the lass felt herself drift away into the darkness, her bofy feeling less and less pain as time itself moved to a stand still.

Beaten by the dog. For shame…

~~~

“S’bout time you woke up.”

The first sensation that greeted Asuka was the sound of a familiar voice. Creaking open her eyes, she immediately forced them shut once more as spears of translucent beams invaded her sight. Keeping the offending rays of light filtered through her eyelids, her other senses worked their way in describing the maiden’s surrounding. One thing she could tell was the sweet, familiar smell of alcohol and the warm comfort of a bed. She could also feel her arm, a realization that brought a smile and a frown to her face at the same time.

“What’s the matter, Asuka?” The voice spoke up once more, accompanied by the steady shifting feet and the clatter of metal instruments. “Are you looking for something?”

“K… Kaze…” The red-hair fighter weakly responded, remembering having her throat torn out but still wanting to speak.

“Your sword is fine, Asuka.” The person replied. A cold, solid object met her outstretched hand and the lass quickly took hold of it, letting the long steel blade rest against her side as the other individual chuckled heartily.

“Well, now. I guess you’re alright.”

Finally able to handle the contrast of her previous sight condition, the swordmaiden eased her eyes open to her surrounding. The first thing to greet her was the stark white ceiling staring back at her. In fact, the entire room seemed to shine with a strange white light that bounced around from the large windows to the side of her bed. Rolling her head to the side, she finally saw the other person in the room.

“Oh, it’s you.”

The man smiled back as he pulled back the hood of his grey robe, revealing the chiseled handsome face and deep black eyes of an Akashiman. Asuka remembered his face almost immediately – it was the same man who had told her of the Citadel back when she was in Radasanth many months ago.

She should have known he was a Citadel Monk back then.

“So, how did your battle go with that lycan?”

Asuka snorted, rolling over on her side and faced away to stare out the window.

“Hahaha, I see.” The man replied as he moved plates of food from the tray to her bedside table, the tantalizing smell of omelete and rice tickling the maiden’s nose. “Don’t worry, Asuka. The other monks are taking care of him at the moment. No one’s going to die on our watch, that’s for sure.”

Still not getting any reaction from the brazen red-head, the Akashiman monk finished setting up her recovery meal and decided it would be best to leave her alone for the time being. Before heading out the door, he glanced back one last time.

Finally, he heard a sigh from the maiden as she shifted onto her back, staring up at the ceiling with a quiet look on her face.

“…I feel sick.”

((You can go ahead and post your finishing post, Damian. You don't have to if you don't feel like it and can just send me a PM saying your done instead. I recommend you make one, though.))

[Damian]

Revolting sounds emitted from Asuka as she tried to laugh at Damian’s plea bargain. The gurgling and sucking noises she made, reminded the cursed man of a foot being pulled out of thick mud and makes that juicy THUCK sound. The Warrior ghastly chuckle soon transformed into a weak guttural coughing fit. A small audible pop escaped from a blood bubble escaped her lips as she sighed. Then all sound ceased.

“Asuka?” The white haired man did not need his counterpart’s acute hearing to know his opponent was no long breathing her raspy breathes.

“Asuka!” Pain flared up his right side as he tried to get up with his right hand. A small thud echoed across the room as he hit the hard reed floor. Damian lifted his left hand off the gash on his throat, to crawl over to the maiden. He felt the warm blood creep along his neck leaving snaky tendrils in their wake. His left hand struck out and grasped one of the many grooves in the textured floor, and he pulled his body to where the Warrior’s last audible report came from.

“Asuka!” Damian’s voices was hoarse and weak, his energy was leaving he quickly. After two transitions, one to the wolf and the other back to the human, a cut across his right palm, rending his right hand useless, and a stab that took a chuck of his neck with it; his body could no longer handle it.

The body of Damian Delta lied motionless in the middle of the arena floor; he had managed to work almost halfway across the floor before his body quit on him. The left arm still grasped one of the grooves of the floor. Blood, from his neck, outlined the grooves of the floor, every so often a small bridge forms in-between the cracks and trickles the blood into a new patchwork of grooves and cracks.

Neurons and synapses sparked and fired inside the mind of the inert body. The mind sent out useless commands, but the body would not respond. Though the fatigue of the body did soon overtake the mind, but it transmitted one last thought before the darkness dropped its shadowy veil.

This sucks.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A young teenaged boy with white hair sat on a stump, which overlooks a wooded valley in Salvar. A blonde haired lass joined the boy and sat next to him admiring the view. The boy’s soft features lit up when the girl sat down.

Luna

The young girl showed a delicate smile and spoke with a soft voice.

“You must not give in to the beast; you must use him for yourself.” Luna’s blue eyes were filled with wonder and knowledge. Her silky hair billowed in a soft breeze that never caressed the boy like it did her.

“I am too weak, I do not know how to stop it.” The boy’s features instantly turned hard and weather worn. His two toned eyes soon lost their luster and now turned rather dull. The girl just smiled more as the boy sulked in his own misery.

“You must find your strength and reign over the beast.” She lifted her arm and gently placed it on the boy’s shoulder. His pain and worry was washed away with her simple sweet touch.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Damian awoke in a sterile white room, the lone furnishing was a cloth cot that he has been sleeping on. He tried with great difficulty to kick his feet over the side and sit up, but yet again the body did not respond to the mind.

“Ughh,” the cursed man closed his eyes again and stretched out his sore body. As his muscles relaxed he could feel sleep trying to pull him in again. He shook his head to knock away the sleep, his neck ached with a dull pain. He felt the left side of his neck and touched the oval shape scar where his neck was ripped away. He then examined his right palm, a discolored scar appeared across his hand. The scar itself ripped right through his life line that crossed his hand from wrist to thumb.

Damian then remembered one of his elders telling him about the life line on everyone’s right palm. He remembered specifically the old one saying that any scar that rested on the life line will indicate a severe time in one’s life. His scar passed closer to the wrist; his teenage years, the attack from the wolf with the blood red scarf.

Damian grimaced as he closed his hand, it too ached with a dull pain. From his prone position he noticed a monk enter the sterile white room. In his arms were his worldly possessions: his dagger, knife, and the glove claws.

“Ahh, you’re awake as well.” The monk smiled at the white haired man lying on the cot.

“As well? So Asuka is fine then?” Damian expressed his questions without any emotions, his normal form of conversion.

“Yes, yes, she is fine. A few scars, just like you, but fine.” The monk continued his smile that seems to be permanently stamped on his face. Damian adverted his gaze to the blank ceiling and thought about the holes in the Warrior’s back.

“Not too create such a fuss, but it seems our attendants forgot to get the entry fee from you when they escorted you to your battle.” That smile turned slightly greedy as the monk pressed for payment.

Damian opened several different compartments inside his duster, he produced the hundred gold for payment from thirteen different pockets. He kept his money this way so for one pick pockets could not steal all of his money, unless they stole his coat entirely; and second he disliked the metallic clanks of the gold rustling together in a loose pouch.

“Very good, very good.” His eyes shined as he stared at the gold pieces. “You will wait here to hear the decision of the match.” The monk quickly disappeared, leaving his weapons on the floor next to the cot.

The wolf barked at Damian, to rouse his attention. The man frowned at the fact he is never truly alone, the wolf growled and flashed its teeth at Damian.

I lost. My cowardice at the end was unacceptable. Luna is right, I need to find my strength.

[Amaril Torrun]

Asuka

Story

Continuity- 8 - There was an almost perfect sense of continuity. I knew how Asuka became a warrior of the Dagas Pagoda, why she was asked to do so, and what she had thought about the proposition.

Setting- 7 - You did a great job of not only describing the arena, but you also interacted with it a great deal. Using extra senses other than sight and touch really help out when getting the reader to see what you’re thinking. One problem though, is that as the battle went on, you slowly wrote less and less about the scenery. Particularly during the fighting scenes, I started to lose a sense of where things were.

Pacing- 8 - This thread was evenly paced throughout. Even when Asuka was suffering severe injuries, you two didn’t rush to the end. The pace did quicken as the battle progressed, but in a good way.

Character

Dialogue- 7 - I liked that in the beginning her speech was quite formal, as would be expected of a representative of the Pagoda. As the battle got more heated, her thoughts and speech changed drastically into things like, “Bring it on, doggy-boy.” It helped the flow of the battle.

Action- 6 - I have to say that letting your character take two really hard hits was pretty brave and shows that you’re not willing to sacrifice realism to keep your character in a safe little bubble. With that said, I expected there to be a bit more detail on how she was feeling after the first hit onward. Asuka is a brave, tough girl, but she still should have had a stronger reaction to such devastating wounds. It seemed like after the initial shock of the attacks, all that remained was a moderate amount of pain until she eventually bled out of consciousness. In other words, don’t turn her into a pansy, but make the pain of serious injuries more apparent.

Oh and don’t think I forgot about you using the oil saucer and getting rid of some light. That was pretty creative.

Persona- 6 - You let the reader in on what Asuka is thinking some of the time and gave a sense of who she is in general. I would have liked to see more though. It seems like the setting and action took over as the battle progressed, leaving little room for character development.

Writing Style

Mechanics- 6 - There were grammar errors in the thread, but nothing that really hurt the flow of the story. You shouldn’t start sentences with conjunctions such as “and” or “but,” there were some misplaced commas, and there were a few instances where you switched from past to present tense. There were also some incomplete sentences.

“This battle was not even about who will rightfully win the title of Warrior and move on to higher ranks.” There’s an example of switching tenses, with the use of the word “will.”

“Her sword sheathed on her right leg, ready to strike when the time was right.” There’s an example one of your incomplete sentences. Putting the word “was” right after “sword” would fix that.

Technique- 7 - There was some very good word usage throughout the thread. There was also good literary devices such as metaphors, though there could have been more.

Clarity- 6 - It was slightly easier to understand what was going on throughout the battle. The fight scenes are where I started to not follow the writing as well.

Wild Card- 7 - This battle was well done. There are plenty of battles that can be downright boring or seem to have a forced life changing event to make the story better. This was not the case here. The battle was simply a battle, done in an interesting way with a good portrayal of who the characters are.


Damian

Story

Continuity- 5 - I kind of knew what brought Damian to the Pagoda, but hardly enough. Near the end of the battle you mentioned that he wanted to become the grandmaster in order to learn how to master his darker side. While this is a worthy reason, you need to explain how he expects his goals to be reached by becoming the grandmaster.

Setting- 7 - See Asuka’s Setting.

Pacing- 8 - See Asuka’s Pacing.

Character

Dialogue- 7 - I simply loved how his way of speaking changed along with his personality. Calling Asuka a “bitch” threw me for a loop, but in a good way. The inner conversation’s between the two personalities also helped you here. The way he speaks while in his human form was a bit bland, seeing as how you also mentioned that he isn’t much of a people person. If he prefers to not communicate with people, then I’d expect his dialogue to be a bit rougher.

Action- 6 - Damian’s actions were what one might expect of a brutish fighter. Using his claws as a single weapon seemed to be more for show than anything else. Sending two clawed weapons at two different parts of the body could have done much more damage. I did like the use of oil on the dagger near the end, and his left-handed throw. While limiting your character’s ability may hurt the chances of winning a battle IC, it actually helps make the story more interesting. I’m not saying do it all the time, because it can get boring pretty quick, but the way you did it with the slicked dagger was well done. If can make the rest of your attacks less two-dimensional, you’ll be scoring much higher in this area. Also, interact with the setting a bit more, again using the oil slicked dagger as an example.

Persona- 7 - I saw a bit more character development from you, with the bickering between the two personalities. While you did drift away from character development a little as the battle turned more action oriented, the dual personality keeps the reader interested in what is going on inside Damian’s head. I’ve never heard of a werewolf that can interact with both personalities at the same time, but I think it makes your character much more interesting than if he turned into some mindless beast.

Writing Style

Mechanics- 3 - There were severe errors in the thread and there were parts where those errors hurt the overall feel of the battle. You have a habit of writing run-on sentences and the reader loses a sense of what is going on because of it.

“He shot out his left arm, making his elbow pop with some discord, and let the dagger fly, blade tip first toward Asuka’s unprotected torso.” This is a run-on sentence. I used to have trouble with this as well, and still have to work on it everyday. Try to look at sentences with a bunch of commas and determine the best places to break it in two. Here’s what I would do for this particular sentence. ‘He shot out his left arm, making his elbow pop with some discord. His dagger was let loose, with the tip of the blade flying toward Asuka’s unprotected torso.’

You also switch from past to present tense in almost every post. You need to pick one or the other and stick with it. Fixing that alone would do wonders for your Mechanics.

Technique- 7 - See Asuka’s Technique.

Clarity- 5 - While I feel that it wouldn’t be fair to deduct points in two areas, the switching of tenses hurt here as well.

Wild Card- 7 - See Asuka’s Wild Card.

Asuka - 68

Damian - 62

Congratulations to both of you on a well done battle!

Asuka gains 862 experience and 300 GP (150 for winning + 50 warrior bonus + 100 for the long wait).

Damian gains 225 experience and 100GP (for the long wait).

[Letho]

EXP/GP added. AsukaStrikes, welcome to the next level.