Rigor Mortis
07-17-07, 09:01 AM
This thread is for my works of creative writing. Please critique my work, as I'm taking creative writing classes and working on my writing constantly to make it better. (I'm not the sharpest pencil in the class, if you get my drift).
My first work is pretty personal, I think it's one of my better ones though. What do you think?
Return to Sender
A life, defined by words.
Impossible, even by regular standards.
I enjoy freedom, granted by licenses,
age, and responsibility--or lack thereof.
Natural hearing is something I lack.
It may be difficult to imagine not
being able to hear, but it's my world.
Liberated by technology and
advancements in communication,
my hearing is good--not perfect.
Day in, I act like a normal kid.
Day out, I go to bed knowing and feeling
the depression of disability.
I am seventeen years of age
raised a fan of the Boston Red Sox.
such is my hatred of the Yankees.
Basketball is my preferred sport
making use of my 6'4 frame.
Computers is my passion in life
which brought me to this camp
and this class, in which I now write.
A life, although brief, explained
to the best ability words can muster.
Ink does no justice to the toil and strife
brought by my misfortunes.
Misfortunes corrected by the good
Influences in my life.
My first work is pretty personal, I think it's one of my better ones though. What do you think?
Return to Sender
A life, defined by words.
Impossible, even by regular standards.
I enjoy freedom, granted by licenses,
age, and responsibility--or lack thereof.
Natural hearing is something I lack.
It may be difficult to imagine not
being able to hear, but it's my world.
Liberated by technology and
advancements in communication,
my hearing is good--not perfect.
Day in, I act like a normal kid.
Day out, I go to bed knowing and feeling
the depression of disability.
I am seventeen years of age
raised a fan of the Boston Red Sox.
such is my hatred of the Yankees.
Basketball is my preferred sport
making use of my 6'4 frame.
Computers is my passion in life
which brought me to this camp
and this class, in which I now write.
A life, although brief, explained
to the best ability words can muster.
Ink does no justice to the toil and strife
brought by my misfortunes.
Misfortunes corrected by the good
Influences in my life.