Kaiserin Vs. Banda

[streak101]

It was a boring day, and there was nothing to do. Banda set out for the citadel, hoping to excite his day with vigorous battle, and a nice victory. When he got to the citadel, Banda was greeted by a monk upon entry inside. “Would you like a duel sir?” the monk asked. “Yes, and I don’t care who just stick me in an arena, and I’ll wait. The monk agreed, smiled, and led Banda in the direction of a door.

Banda stepped through the door, and looked about his surroundings. The floor was plain dirt, it was raining, and there were no tall buildings. It was a simple area, nothing to use against each other just enough for a good 1 on 1 duel. Banda sat down, and took a nap. He waited for his opponent.

[Kaiser]

“Excuse me” came the unfamiliar voice, then again no ones voice was familiar and she was the stranger in this place. Dusk opened her eyes to the man, a no descript monk at best, he resembled the others in this place with there cropped hair. Dusk pushed herself away from the wall absently looking around the dark room before her crimson red eyes turned back to the monk. “Someone has requested a duel, and being the only one waiting do you wish to accept this open challenge”, Dusk was half way between groaning and grinning, she had come here trying to track someone down, and waiting for a challenge was the only way these monks allowed her to stay within the Citadel, still it was a challenge and they were always fun.

“Sure why not … I guess I am going to have to start somewhere right” the monk smiled but Dusk still held an emotionless face, that or she was bored. The monk politely showed her to the room with the challenger he even went to the length of opening the door for her. Dusk stepped in and was instantly taken to a very barren scenery, there was little to define the place, it was like a huge flat desert, except the ground was solid and wet with rain, the sky was a very dark grey, and there were no signs of it breaking up to reveal a sunny day in a bit. The whole Citadel thing was a mystery, did it conjure up its own worlds for people to fight in, or did it spiritually transport them somewhere in the world, such questions would have to be put on hold, dusk spotted her challenger … sleeping.

Dusk frowned, what kind of guy was this, to set a challenge and then fall asleep waiting, surely he did not set this hours ago, did he. Dusk took the time to take of her jacket and discard it to the floor with her keen red eyes glaring at her sleeping challenger, she had half a mind of killing him in his sleep to teach him a harsh lesson, but as she adjusted the bangle and chain on her right wrist, she made no attempt at anything hostile … yet.

“Should I really end this while he is asleep” Dusk thought for a moment as her pre-fight ritual took her from the bangle to the blood red scarf around her neck, and from that to a lazy warm up exercise and still her opponent slept “As tempting as this is…” she kneeled down and picked up her jacket and then threw it with a little force at Banda in hopes of waking him up, if not then killing him in his sleep would have to do.

[streak101]

Banda woke up in a lazy daze, attemping to recover from his hazy dreams. Before his vision could clear, he could tell the silhoutte of Kaiserin standing over him, looking at him in query. "Wait your my opponent?" said Banda. He handed her, her jacket which he was entangled in waking up.

He bowed down to Kaiserin, and then drew his weapons, "I hope I win... but this might be close." Swordin one hand, shield in the other, and boomerang fitted accordingly, he stepped to one end of the arena, and waited for Kaiserin to ready herself, and attack.

[Kaiser]

Dusk just watched him with a blank face, considering he had been asleep just now and had woken up in a cheerful mood surprised Dusk, who woke up cheerful? Dusk groaned at the boys comment but said nothing as she accepted her jacket from him, “don’t worry … I am not impressed either” Dusk said to his comment before, and watched the boy move back a bit getting his gear ready. He held Sword in one hand, a simple one, but still a sharp one. And a shield in the other, now shields were just pesky things, Dusk thought while narrowing her eyes at it. But the strangest of his items was the boomerang, that was going to hurt if it scored a direct hit, but surely nothing life threatening.

Dusk grinned suddenly as she realised the boy forgot to introduce himself, Dusk considered it bad manners, but at least he had bowed down, but that was after his rude comment. “The Names Kaiserin … But you can call me Dusk” she would not allow the rude boy to call her by name, and she grinned whilst holding her left hand in front of her. Like always her sword began to materialize, the whole process looked like strings of light quickly weaving into each other, at first it looked like a spell, but when the 5 foot weapon materialized gravity should have claimed it if Dusk had not gripped the handle with her left hand.

She Hoped the size of the sword would intimidate her opponent, also she hoped that he would misjudge the weight and decide to evade more than he would block, whatever he thought about the blade all Dusk really hoped was that he was Intimidated. She set the blade into a ready stance, but curiously took a stance which favoured her left side. “ok, lets go” she calmly said before running towards her opponent cutting the distance between the two until Dusk made her attack by violently swinging her sword from left to right, she wasn’t expecting the first attack to hit, especially when it was so direct, but the fight had to start someway or another.

[streak101]

Banda watched as the sword materialized in Kai- er... Dusks hands. He kept his cheerful mood, though he was very intimadated by it's size. It seemed light, but it was unlikely, that a 5 foot sword could be light.

She then made her move, running at Banda with her sword swinging. That's a little sloppy to start but, oh well Banda thought. Banda then slid through Dusks legs to avoid the attack and to give himself a chance to attack. "By the way the names Banda Utako. Just call me Band." he said in a mocking voice.

He quickly got up and swung at Dusks back, hoping he didn't take too long to retaliate.

[Kaiser]

As she expected the attack did not score a hit or her opponent for that matter as he evaded by thrusting and sliding himself through her legs, she made a note to not keep her legs spread so for apart in the future. With her sword still swinging she carried it as far around as she could twist her wrist so that the tip of the blade would hit the ground as far behind her as possible.

With the blade in place she quickly moved to her right following the movement of the attack only the positions were reversed, the move had taken her out of harms way putting a little distance between the two although she felt the blade brush against her long flowing red scarf, and with Dusk once again facing her opponent. Dusk grinned but was mindful of her awkward stance with her wrist twisting around as far as possible and the way her sword’s tip stuck in the ground. “Attacking from behind?” she said slyly taking her sword from the ground and flowing into a comfortable stance with the sword before her.

“I can assure you … you won’t win like that!” she said before acting to attack once again, she spun around raising her sword as she did whilst moving closer so that she was in range, with the movement her blade was held high to her left and swung it low, so to avoid being blocked by the shield and hopefully injure the boys leg

[streak101]

Banda wondered if his opponent was toying with him, for this was becoming too easy. Dusk swung low at his legs, and the way she did made Banda wonder, She's making this too easy!. Banda waited for the right timing and jumped when the blade came close, a little late though.

He stifled a groan as he felt the tip of his big toe slice off. About 1 centimeter, of skin was cutoff from boot, and foot. He could ignore the wound though, it was not that deep no matter how much it hurt.

"Dont swing that low, or your opponent can jump over your swing!"Banda said, then he swung his sword rather high at Dusks legs, so that she may not be able to jump over the swing.

[Kaiser]

The tip of Dusks sword once again hit the ground instantly halting its momentum, her eye caught sight of Banda land and started to bring her sword back to her usual fighting stance, but the instant Banda had landed he was on the offence again, and Dusk had caught sight of the hostile movement, she lined her sword to intercept Banda’s blade and was thankful when she didn’t have to move it far, but because of the length of the blade, Banda’s blade would hit hers on a steep angle.

Dusk was startled to feel a small sting on her leg after hearing the two blades collide, she quickly glanced at what happened and saw that she had misjudged the length of her own weapon and the position, the blade had cut her pants and a little of her skin, it wasn’t much, she had scratches worse than this little nick. ‘Eh … my bad’ was all she had to think about that, there were pros and cons about her sword, Dusk stepped back pulling her sword back before levelling it off grinning for a second.

And one of its advantages was that she was now in striking range, and Banda was not. With her sword level it was clear what her next move was going to be, a simple lunge for the body, but Dusk didn’t even do that, instead she lunged for the ground in front of Banda sticking the tip of her blade into the ground. And then with both hands on the foot long hilt she fling the sword upwards in a vertical slash, it also kicked up the dirt that was lying under the damp cracked ground.

[streak101]

As the rain poured down his face, Banda admitted that his attack was not the cleverest, but it did work to an effect. His sword was locked with Dusk's, but the sword still struck her in the leg, stinging her.

Dusk then did something Banda didn't suspect. She stuck her sword in the ground, and then uprooted it, the blade cutting towards Banda. Banda made a quick shift to the left, dodging the blade's cut. Dusk was still gaining balance from her attack, and Banda took this opportunity, and threw his boomerang at Dusk.

Aiming at her leg it qould be hard for it to miss, even if it miss the leg, the boomerang would retract back to Banda hitting something.

[Kaiser]

Dusk was surprised that her attack had missed; she had thought for sure that it would strike something at least, it was an indirect attack but she guessed it took too long, sticking it into the ground allowed her opponent to move out of the way. Before Dusk could glance over to where her opponent had escaped to her leg was suddenly in pain, and without thinking she used her ok leg to jump back and with a note of satisfactory as she increased the distance between the two, her leg was still working.

“What was …?”

Hey eyes then spotted the Boomerang that had hit her leg hard, Dusk could hardly believe that he had gotten a free hit of her with that thing, it looked poorly made and it was just plain embarrassing, no matter what she could not let him win, it would be too embarrassing and she would never hear the end of it, well it was a good job she did not know many people in Althanas … or any friends for that matter. Her leg hurt but it would be just a bruise on her leg, it was a good thing that it wasn’t sharp or it would still be in her leg causing a lot more than a simple bruise.

“You … are such a pain” She swing her sword menacingly in front of her shifting it into a perfectly horizontal stance with the tip of the blade pointing towards her foe, Dusk gritted her teeth and charged forwards mindful of the way the muscles in her leg pained where the bruise was. Dusk ignored it as she charged forwards before thrusting her sword forwards, this was how her last attack should have gone, more direct, and with the design of her blade, she hoped it would splinter the shield should he put it up.

[streak101]

Banda watched as the five foot long blade cut through him. Gasping for air, he pulled the sword out of him, and then jumped away from Dusk. Using his first-aid skills, he managed to repair his wound. "If you think I'm a pain." Banda said, confidently, "then my sword will be the end of you." Banda charged towards Dusk with full vigor.

Let's see what u think about my Sly Striker... He then jumped into the air, and shouted, "You'll never live through my Sly Striker!" Slashing vertically downwards, at his opponent he would then slash at her flank. That's one time... Banda thought as he struck.

[Kaiser]

‘ Yes, I do think you’re a pain … a wounded one at that ’ if inflicting a wound against her opponent was satisfying, then running him through felt a whole lot better, Dusk retracted her sword whilst recalling an interesting saying, ‘an injured animal is very vicious’ or something along those lines, either way she was not really willing to test that saying out. But to her surprise her opponent had a healing spell, and magically that serious wound was sealed up causing Dusk to narrow her ruby red eyes at her opponent with envy, healing spells were not easily done, it was a wonder how the monks at the citadel performed such feats, such a feat did require skill and her abilities with magic go only as far as her ability she has possessed from birth, and still that was not much.

“You are a pain, and my sword is the cure … if you catch my drift, and …”

Dusks’ eye’s grey confused for a moment, there was something stranger about her opponent, and she recognised that she should not be seeing what she was, “Crap!” she yelled out flowing back into her stance, letting the sword tip cut between her vision of her opponent as he charged forwards with an attack. Something about it was off, and Dusk really did not want to stick around so she held her sword forwards hoping that he would run himself into the sword this time, but she was only holding it there so that he could not charge directly at her.

Then Banda leapt into the air catching Dusk off guard, and at that rate he would be quickly within her defence circle and have an opening with whatever attack he had planned. At the moment that dusk recognised in her mind that he had leapt into the air, her instincts carried her unwillingly to leap backwards, his first strike missed as she pulled back and the quick second hit her sword with surprising force that caused Dusk to change her stance, she landed without a word wondering exactly what the hell her opponent had done to strike twice so quickly.

“… what …” her expression of confusion changed it one of agitation as she held her sword tightly well aware that a chance for a counter was long gone, she had been startled for too long, “Neat trick, but you going to have to do a whole lot better than that to beat me,” Dusk leaped forwards quickly regaining the ground she had lost, dusk spun around in the air extending her sword out wards swinging it in full circle aimed to make contact with Banda’s chest area in the middle of her blade.

[streak101]

Banda had tried to use his Striker against Dusk but, it seemed that she was too quick, and was able to protect herself against both attacks. Banda was surprised That's the 1st time thats happened!, he hid his expression of astonishment, as Dusk said, "Neat trick, but your going to have to do a whole lot better than that to beat me,”.

His opponent swung her sword in a circle, Banda knew what she was trying to do. As if this was an easy thing to do, Banda ducked from the sword swing. "Yeah, it is a neat trick isn't it? It took me some time to master it completely too. Watch closely now, it goes like this! Sly striker!"

Banda swung at Dusk's leg's, and then he would charged for her side.

[Kaiser]

It was a lucky strike, that’s what her mind had concluded after the pain had settled in nicely, His full strike had hit this time, and after she had charged for her she was pretty much sent onto the floor. It hurt too much to get up, as she lay there gritting her teeth trying to mentally block out the pain, it wasn’t working very well. “Damn that attack” she yelled out, and it was clear that she could not hide the pain. Her leg hurt, but her side hurt the most, but she didn’t care, infact she didn’t know which was worse, the pain, or the fact that she had given him such a chance to strike. ‘ you honestly thought you could escape an attack like that again? ’ her mind told her, but it was enough to give her the will power to try and sit up and scurry away from her opponent, hopefully he had a little honour and would not attack his opponent while she was on the ground.

‘ what the hell am I doing? How could he still be standing? I ran him through … damn healing spell, and damn that attack of his ’ her mind seethed with anger and her face showed a little of it, wishing that looks could kill. But eventually her eyes drifted to her wounds, they didn’t feel as bad as they looked, she noted with amusement, but they were a threat to her if she let them bleed like that, already it was trickling to the floor, but the one in her side looked the worst. Without even thinking about it she took the scarf from around her neck and tied it around her waist tightly hoping to stop the bleeding, the scarf only darkened its shade a little, it had after all, had once been a white scarf, but that was a long time ago and now it was stained with her blood. And quickly she tied one of the long trails around the wound on her leg, at first it seemed clumsy but there was enough slack so that it would not hinder her. But the wound had already done that and the only way she would be able to spring away from any attacks would be with her left leg which was still in good condition.

Then she started to get up using the size of her sword to assist her to her feet like a walking stick, once back to her feet she found that she could not put much weight onto her right leg, but she could use it to stable herself so long she didn’t shift her weight drastically, but her sword was going to cause a problem. It was a dilemma for her, she was getting beat by a punk, and that was agitating, but the thing was that she had little chance for a comeback, but if she could run him through again, then maybe she could pull this one out of the bag. She let her stance droop hoping to create the illusion that it hurt more than it really did, but that was not much of an act as her hand instinctively went to nursing her side, to clutching the hilt of her sword still planted into the ground. She shifted the sword too after a while throwing it to her right side with the tip resting against the dirty ground while her stance seemed far to open, as though she were too wounded to truly fight back.

“To attack twice for the price of one … Cute … really cute” she said more to herself then to Banda but still. “Ok … I will admit … I am wounded, and you got me good, yet … lets just see you try that again!” Dusk gritted her teeth after sending out the bait, hopefully her opponent would rush into attack her, it was amusing, dusk wondered if she could actually fight back, this could possibly be the last move.

[streak101]

"lets just see you try that again!” Dusk shouted. Banda was confused surely his opponent must be joking. Under her circumstances, Banda would easily defeat her in a short one-two thrust. Her only line of defense would be her sword, and dodging would be her only defense, and her leg wound will slow her down. The smartest thing to do would be to use Sly Striker.

But why send yourself to your own defeat? Banda thought. Was Dusk really already tired? Or was it only an act to catch Banda in a trap? Banda went over this again, and again. Ah! Forget this! Eni! mini! miini! MO!

Banda ran up toward Kaiser swinging his sword, "Your trap can't work on me! Besides, I wanna beat you the right way! A swing of the sword! And the thrust of it's blade!" Banda swung his sword more wildely the closer he came to Kaiser. The early swinging would also ease his swing helping him strike with a faster speed.

[Kaiser]

Her opponent hesitated, Good, which meant that he wasn’t as dumb as she thought he was, so if she was to be beaten it would not be a total humiliation. ‘ I got one chance … time to see if this silvet heritage pays off! ” she then adjusted her stance again this time into a very she reversed the blade in her hands, so that the hilt was pointing away from her opponent as the hilt faced Banda, whatever you do with a five foot long sword, you never hold it in reverse, unless it was a thrusting motion, but her stance denied that logic. “Come ON!” Dusk yelled, the burning pain in her side throbbed without the added pressure of her hand, plus her leg felt like it would buckle under her and the swords weight, but her tail was there to take the edge of it and put more onto her good leg.

Then Banda charged, her mind raced with possible conclusions of what could go wrong, but they were just clouding her head, and with determination and hope that this would work she discarded it like a bad drink. Dusk did not even wait she raised her sword above her head so suddenly, once again a movement that seemed confusing, but then she thrust the blade downwards into the ground just in time to hear the sword clang with Banda’s as he struck nothing but sword. But with the position her sword was in, it would be impossible to pull free for a counter attack. But when Dusk used her good leg and arms to throw herself upwards it was clear she had something else in mind as her strength sent her into the air above her blade.

The action had caused her sword to be pried loose, and the angle of her leap sent her over the blade onto Banda’s side, it could be said she was now above Banda, pulling back her good leg ready to kick out as she descended on her foe. Hopefully there was enough of a surprise factor, and that would be enough to throw him off his game, she could only hope as she kicked out as hard as she could, too late to worry about the pains of the wounds, with a little hope her boot would make contact with his face, and that in itself would make this whole fight worthwhile.

[streak101]

As Banda reached Dusk, the attack was blocked. Shit....He thought. Dusk had parried, and Banda was too tired after using so much energy swinging, that he could not regain enough strength, to counter what Dusk was about to pull off. Instead, of pulling the sword out and striking him down. She instead used her sword as a sort of spring.

She flew into the air, and jerked her foot toward Banda's face. Banda was too tired to realize the attack, and deliberatly had been mashed. After the attack, Banda regained his senses, and, nose bleeding, mouth cracked, and forehead bleeding even more, he swung at Dusk, who was defenseless. "THIS IS THE END!!!!!!! SLY STRIKER!" He swung first at her good leg, and then after made an attempt to swung at her uninjured side.

[Kaiser]

The satisfaction of feeling his face under his boot could possibly be better than winning this thing, her inner self smiled wondering what was going through his mind, and surely his face must hurt because of her surprising strength. Dusk landed on the leg she had kicked out with and as soon as her other leg hit the ground she winced at the pain but made a discovery, the muscle’s in her leg had not been damaged and standing on it would hurt, but the pain was only in her mind right? Grinning at the prospect of actually pulling through this she got back to her feet as Banda stumbled a fair distance holding his face, indeed, that was very satisfying.

He recovered faster than she had expected and saw the familiar glow, Banda didn’t even have to shout out the name of that cursed attack because Dusk knew what he was going to do, and the third time in a row was a bad idea now that she had experienced it two times, she had a fairly good idea at how to block it. She raised her sword in front of her once again with the tip cutting her eyesight at Banda, and with her good leg she stepped back getting as much distance she could in a single step, then she took one more wincing at the pain, she had only just settled back into her stance before Banda was charging yelling that this was the end ‘Please let that call be ironic!” she pleaded to whichever god may be closest. Banda swung his sword but Dusk moved her sword to intersect successfully blocking the blow, But yet again the attack was stranger than it looked but she already knew about that as she braced for the impact, her own blade didn’t recoil as far after the first attack, as Banda’s second attack come, ironically in the direction his last attack at knocked her sword too, her sword hit his again as she gritted her teeth, by either pain or the moment of the battle she would not be able to tell.

“The end eh? … Not impressed kid” she said venomously to her opponent, her words were quick and at the same time she pulled back her body and her sword so that it had enough room to fit between both of them. The Five foot blade levelled off perfectly straight aimed towards Banda’s chest area, and hopefully he was tired, he looked tired before she had drop kicked him in the face, and performing that attack hopefully took even more energy out of him.

Dusk didn’t scream any attack, or called out any taunt, for some reason she didn’t feel like it as she launched with both her legs, her face winced at the pain as she thrust her sword forwards, running her opponent through for a second time would be a record for her. Would this attack seal it, no probably not, Dusk had realised something, hoping to win would not get you anywhere, doing something to win is a completely different story; she felt her taunts and callings in this fight were empty.

[streak101]

Banda's rage, had once again gotten the best of him. As most of the time it happens during rage, Dusk was able to block both of his attacks, and that's when Banda came to a conclusion. Each time he used Sly Striker on the same person, the easier it was to parry, or block, even dodge. So after the second encounter Dusk, could have easily destroyed him, if he used it earlier, then again he used it anyway.

What surprised him, was that Dusk could still stand after her leg wound. Regardless, the irony of the situation was Banda's words before his attack, "This is the end!". He cursed at himself, and heard Dusk say, "The end eh? ... Not impressed kid," Who she calling a kid? Banda thought. The good thing was that his opponent expected him to be tired.

Too bad for Dusk, after hitting Banda he was able to come back to his senses, and now this 'kid' isn't giving up. Dusk pulled herself back, and then thrust her exaggerated blade towards Banda. Not this time! And this time... Banda schemed. He jumped quick enough so that the blade replaced him where he was standing. Then he landed on the sword, before Dusk was able to retract it. He ran towards Dusk weighing her sword down, as he went. She wouldn't be able lift the sword with her injuries, so Banda did not worry.

Banda swung at her shoulders not wanting to be barbaric by slicing her head off. He smiled on the inside, he was able to disarm, his opponent and leave her defenseless.

[Kaiser]

Missed, like all good opportunities there is always something that you overlook when thinking on the fly, some angle you missed, or misjudged. For Dusk she misjudged her opponents energy reserves, he was just as energetic as ever that meant that she was still technically on the loosing end after being hit more times than she had dished out, or at least she thought that. Banda made an interesting move be leaping into the air and landing on the blunt side of her sword, causing it to fall at an angle, as the leverage worked against Dusk who still held the hilt upwards. What’s he … he thoughts were silenced as her opponent started to step forwards along her sword, making it harder to hold its, and his weight together, anymore pressure and the sword would break under that kind of punishment, Volak was a strange material, and he sword had been guessed that it was the equivalent to steel, but it could not band, her sword was impossible to bend and instead it would just snap.

That caused a bit of an issue but luckily her sword did not come to any breaking point, she twisted her wrist so that she could pull the blade along the ground making it steeper for her opponent, and raise the hilt guard at the same time, she had no doubt she could handle his weight whilst letting the ground hold most of her blades weight. Banda’s strike came for her shoulder, any higher and the horizontal slash would have taken her head clean off, but Banda had made the same mistake she had, he had underestimated her condition. The sword hit, although not exactly what Banda had intended, Sure it had hit her bare shoulder, drawing blood, but it was just as shallow as the first wound she had received in this battle, the hilt of her sword had deflected most of Banda’s blow, but there was still the recoil, still with her current movements if she had not raised her end of the sword then her head would have been taken off, it was an awkward angle. Maybe I should have ducked that one…

Dusk then twisted her wrist turning her blade so that the cutting edge turned upwards to throw her opponent off her sword, providing he was greatly out of balance, still the least that would have happened was that he would have landed on the ground, the bad thing was, that dusks sword as now ready to take off, upwards under his guard and between his legs. She looked at Banda, her eyes although red and menacing, showed kindness, ok that was a lie they were very menacing and very determined. Where Banda didn’t want a barbaric end for his opponent, Dusk on the other hand, was very willing to give her opponent a gruesome death. Her sword rocketed upwards, free from the hold Banda just had on it, this was an attack that required Dusks full strength, her wounds already forgotten, cleaving opponent in half, if she was lucky to cut through bone, was going to be a hell of a lot better than running him through.

[streak101]

Banda gasped as he saw the blade come up to him, wide-eyed, he knew he lost, time felt as if it slowed down. " You beat me. Great job, I guess my anger, and confidence got the better of me. Mark my words though, next time I'll get you!" Banda formed a smile, and felt the sting.

The blade had begun it's work, Banda screamed, and cried. The pain was horrifying, but he knew it would be alright, the monks would revive him, and that's all that he would need, to reassure himself.

As the blade finished it's work, Banda's two halfs of a body laid, on the floor, gushing blood. Where he was merciful with Dusk, Dusk wasn't to him. She wanted a gruesome death, and had it. Banda's last thoughts were, Next time...

[Kaiser]

Her sword finally arced upwards, the resistance from bone and flesh seemed over in an instant as her opponent, cleaved in two half’s, she couldn’t say that it was clean, no the strike was not quick enough. She stayed in that stance as her opponent fall to the ground, both right and left, she would rather forget the gruesome details, technically this would be the first time cutting an opponent in half, it would also mark the first time that she had killed without mercy. Still the fact of the matter was that this was the citadel, and hopefully the monks would patch him up, stick him back together, whatever they do. Infact was the fight truly real, was this even her body she was in but a trick to the mind, once again the reasons for how the citadel worked confused her, but this was a victory, a close one, but yet she felt no joy, not as she looked down at her opponent fading from the arena to be healed by the monks.

Finally her strength went slack and her sword fell to the ground, still she had a confused expression, as though she had not won, that her opponent would jump back at her any second. It wasn’t about winning, it was how she won that scared her, it marvelled her to think that she was capable of killing someone like that, and even now she really didn’t regret it, mainly because that her opponent was not truly dead. But what did that mean for anyone outside the citadel, would she regret it then or was she truly a heartless monster.

“oh man … Father … Your truly have trained me, at least my mentality anyway” she said with a grin, chuckling not at the victory but at realising what she could do, what her resolve allowed her to do, what she was not afraid of doing. The grip on her sword loosened but it did not fall from her hand, with the battle over it started to glow, and like how it forged itself with the strings of light, it all started to unravel, returning to the jewel that acted like its sheath, hidden under her glove. Her ruby red eyes then turned to the blood on the floor, already the rain was mixing with it, the rain, she had totally forgot about the light rain, its presence unnoticed through the battle with Banda. “Banda … he isn’t so bad” she said silently looking around for her jacket, she approached and gripped it, the movement reminded her that she was wounded, the one on her side kept on pulsing, between sharp pain then numbing away for the pain to return.

“… Quit it Kaiserin … if your going to be a heartless killer then your going to have to stop getting so deep on killing your opponent.” She said to herself, as though voicing the darkness of her consciousness, but she frowned when she thought about it, heartless killer, no she could pretend but, she could never be a heartless killer, she had too much of a strong sense of loyalty for that. ‘ Dammit where are these monks, I want out now ’ and as if on cue, Dusk faded from the arena, pondering as she left if that place was real, or just a product of the citadel.

((Ready for judgement))

[INDK]

Kaiser is the winner!

Streak101

Total Score= 28

Introduction – 3 You gave me a basic idea of why Banda wanted to go to the Citadel, which was a good thing. However, I would have liked it if you’d described the battle arena a bit more, told me more about your character and why this moment was significant and noteworthy. Your reasoning for coming to the Citadel was a bit flimsy.

Setting – 1 Setting was rarely taken into account.

Strategy – 5 I was generally impressed here. You did a very good job describing what it was that Banda was doing. On occasions, it seemed to stretch the physical limits of what your profile indicates his abilities are, but overall you did a good job. I like the fact that you factor in stuff like time an attack will take. Some of this was well reasoned and at times a bit creative. I would have liked it if you had expressed the effects of your injuries though. I’ll talk more about this in rising action.

Dialogue – 3 I liked the use of internal monologue, but that was one of the few things I thought was good here. Dialogue must relate to setting. There was too much trash talk going on here, long sentences where there shouldn’t have been any. Take a look at this example, right before he dies Banda says;


" You beat me. Great job, I guess my anger, and confidence got the better of me. Mark my words though, next time I'll get you!"

I really have trouble Banda managing to get that much out so quickly when he was about to die. The part that he would know that it was his anger and his confidence that got the better of him was particularly tough to swallow. Save that stuff for after he’s revived. It would have made a much better climax than a conclusion.

Character – 3 What you really need to do is explain what it is that makes Banda Utako unique. Why is he an interesting person, what makes him so special? He has a personality, so work from there.

Rising Action – 2 When your rising action is good, all the posts feel interconnected with each other.

Climax – 3 A rule of thumb is that your climax and conclusion should never be in the same post. There are times when you can break this rule, but this wasn’t one of those times. Take your time and make sure both are detailed.

Conclusion – 2 The only thing here I really felt was concluding was the last part suggesting that there would be a next time. You bled some aspects of climax and conclusion together (see the comments in climax dialogue) so that you really did service to neither area.

Writing Style – 2 Proof reading can be your best friend. There are a lot of things you would probably catch if you read your posts before you posted them. Also, if you’re not using a Word Processor or spell checker, you will want to do that. Also, for numbers lower than one hundred, you should always write them out as words instead of as numbers. Use “one” instead of “1.” Diction is also an issue here. Make a point of choosing words purposefully.

Wild Card – 4 Go over these comments and the ones you got from Thoracis about the LCC. They will help you.

Kaiser

Total Score= 35

Introduction – 3 Your introduction was a bit longer, which is a good thing. You also gave me a few insights into who Dusk was, as well as reacted to your opponent. However, this introduction lacked purpose, which was one thing that Streak had.

Setting – 1 You can improve in this category merely by putting in more effort.

Strategy – 4 I have no real comment here. Try and do more creative things.

Dialogue – 4 Like I said to Streak, dialogue must be appropriate given the situation. Yours was a bit better than his though, as most of the dialogue in the later posts was internal monologue or short phrases.

Character – 4 I feel you know who your character is, but you need to find more ways to tell readers about her. The only good character was in the conclusion, and that made the conclusion a bit weaker (see conclusion comment).

Rising Action – 2 See Streak’s comment.

Climax – 1/5 I didn’t really get much of a climax from you. You didn’t really build up to the final blow, but then you may have not known that it would be the final blow. Better rising action would have helped you here, but I’m shifting half the points to conclusion, because I can’t see how you would have been able to control the climax.

Conclusion – 7/15 If I knew much about your father or your desire to become a killer, this could have been a very good conclusion. However, because of the lack of character earlier on, character here came out of left field.

Writing Style – 5 Your writing is pretty solid. This isn’t an area where I think you need as much work as some of the other places. The one little thing I would work on is flow. Also, proof read your posts. I saw a few mistakes a spellchecker would have missed.

Wild Card – 4 This was pretty good. I’d be interested to see how you did against tougher opposition.

Spoils=
Kaiser receives 70 GP
Streak101 receives 50 GP
EXP is awarded according to the formula. Streak gets 50, Kaiser 340

[Thoracis]

Rewards added!