Needle Point Valley (Location A)

[Max Dirks]

The Needle Point Valley is a grassy gap in the Northern Mountain chain. The area within the valley is small enough to mount a strong counter defense, and it also allows easy movement to other locations on the map.

This is Twisted Infinitum's starting location.

The tournament will begin when 6 threads have been posted in this subforum. Good Luck!

[Twisted Infinitum]

A cold wind, shrill as a screaming housewife, ran through Needle Point Valley. It seemed to bounce back and forth between the rocky faces to either side, continuously whipping the grassy terrain into a symphony of crackles and whispers. The moon was new, and the sky clouded in more areas than not, so it was a place more heard than seen.

Suddenly, the valley sounded full. Crackling grass was replaced by frightened gasps and expressions of awe. The ground, already near black, swelled with the shadows of hundreds of bodies.

“Is this the Queen’s dream, or are my eyes still closed?” asked one of the bodies at the very center of the mass. The voice was clearly male, though with a heavy lisp and click that painted this man as seriously in need of dental surgery.

Not more than three paces in front of him, a light blinked on and a gentle electronic whir could be heard over the expectant murmurs of the many listeners. “Reality is stable,” said another male voice. This one was crisp and precise as if every word was read from a text book, one that the reader actually found interesting. “It is clearly not a dream, and my eyes are open or I could not be reading the monitor.” The handheld light source waved about to take in the sights of this sightless world.

“Who goes there?” spouted the man with the lisp, his tone turning from surprised to commanding almost instantly. All among the masses behind him, metal scrapped and bodies rustled in anticipation.

“I’ll fix this situation momentarily. Refrain from rudeness until then.” It wasn’t a command, simply instructions, ones that the speaker was certain would be taken without question. He laid both the lighted device and a much heavier object on the ground, and then proceeded to dig through what seemed like a pile of metallic objects. In no time, he gave an affirmative murmur and pressed something forcefully to the ground. Despite the hiss of the rerouted wind, there was a very clear pop of pressure and a rapid expelling of gas. The new device was then lifted from the ground with a powerful sucking sound, as if air were rushing to fill a void. A small object rose from that spot, traceable only by the song of beeps and boops that it played. When it sounded to be about shoulder height, it suddenly sent a blinding column of light forward. The object, visible now as a large floating eyeball, iris at front and wires looped at the back, floated beside its creator and cast its beam upon the masses that had been so quick to rudeness and weapon rattling.

Their eyes were wide despite the glare, and their long ears lay back in apprehension. Mouths became snarls, which made their massive buck teeth even more obnoxious. “Most impressive,” said their commander, a regal white hare of impressive height. The gold-rimmed monocle over his beady eye quivered as he wiggled his nose in what would pass for a wry smile among rabbit kind. “However,” he continued confidently, “I have faced Cyclops of all sizes before. You must live far from your brethren to not quiver at the sight of me. However, I am sure that even you will know my power upon hearing my name.” The old hare butted his shining spear to the ground once and stood tall on his spindly legs. His gloriously detailed set of breast and back plate, as well as matching shield, seemed to shine. All the furry faces behind him turned with adoration and stiffened their ears to listen to his grand betitlement. With his own ears quivering as if suggesting applause, the old hare proclaimed himself, “Head of the Queen’s, pay she live eternal forthwit, Royal Hare Regiment. I am Sergeant Puddles Butterworth! It is a name that curses my enemies with the scorn of her grand kingdom!”

“Indeed. Rightio,” said numerous members of his regiment who simply couldn’t hold in their enthusiasm.

“Interesting,” said the leader of those who still lay in shadow. “I am not a Cyclops.” The floating eyeball twisted to point at the speaker. Immediately, the glare from technological trappings on his body was astounding. Through that glare, one could make out the shape of his frail frame and the pinched, scholarly face buried in his oversized helmet. Behind him, row upon row of young men and women in similar attire stared, their eyes toggling from open to shut in disbelieve. Their leader straightened his back in an equally strong show of bravado. “I am-“

He was interrupted by a unanimous scream from the rabbit ranks. Even the wind seemed to falter as they wailed their high pitched cry like a thousand tops spinning at full speed. The human force responded in kind, though their cries were less shrill. They even faltered regularly with pubescent tone jumps. At the middle of the cacophony, both human and hare commanders stared at each other with their faces drooping in embarrassment. “Silence!” they both shouted to their backs in unison. Silence didn’t follow, but the screaming became recognizable words.

“Giant bunnies!” gasped the teens as they glanced amongst themselves to confirm a shared observation.

“Metal monkeys!” cried the rabbits with their eyes bulging.

Sergeant Puddles rounded on his troops and drummed the ground with one foot. The technological leader, on the other hand, simply glanced over his shoulder and informed them, “I will give B’s to anyone still speaking at the two point five second mark, beginning now.” Every human mouth slammed shut. Some even held their breath. The rabbits were not far behind as they calmed themselves and lapsed into endless cycles of apologies.

“With that matter pacified,” said the human commander as they turned back to each other, “I will introduce myself. I am The Astounding Relativologist. I expect to be referenced with the full name in all situations. These bright young people behind me are my apprentices from class number 438.” The predominantly male crowd momentarily puffed up with pride, while some took the drop in tension as a sign that they could whisper about the bizarre race of rabbit warriors.

Sergeant Puddles lifted his nose and noisily smacked his lips as if tasting the foreign phrases. The furrow of his brow showed that he found them less than palatable. “Wot strange names… for strange creatures,” he mused, “Are you a music troop? Singing eyeball and such. Right terrible if that’s all you play.” Every rabbit scoffed at the notion. Some even made their own mocking renditions of the eyeball’s sound.

The Astounding Relativologist merely blinked at the insult. He bent down, his second skin of high-tech bobbles clanking, and hefted his heavy metal backpack off the ground. The sensor that he had lain down was quickly placed in a holster at his belt. As his students began to murmur about the rabbit commander’s disrespect, their teacher finally gave the lecture they all knew was coming. “You are creatures of the Leporidae family, I estimate, unless that is some genetic abnormality. The Hominidae features are unmistakeable, specifically those of Homo Sapiens. I see that you have aspects of the cultural impacts upon highly evolved races. For example, you, as their superior, have a disproportionate body mass that indicates a hierarchy in the system of food distribution.”

It was Sergeant Puddles’ turn to blink mutely, though more likely because he needed time to digest the cold analysis. After straightening his monocle, it dawned on him that this strange little monkey had called his race, for lack of a more fitting term, ‘ugly’. On top of that, his girth had been called into question. Among their kind, a strong, solid belly was a sign of standing. However, under the eyes of so many judgmental creatures, he sucked in his gut as if to imply that his armor wasn’t a size larger than that of his troops. “What a little sod you are, very disrespectful to an officer of my rank,” he responded haughtily.

Before the argument could escalate, a black shape darted along the edge of the massed armies. It appeared as nothing more than a cloud shadow, given the already dark atmosphere. But, it was very real to the hares near the back of the regiment’s formation. There was an almost insignificant clatter of metal, and then one of then bellowed, “Somethin’s raiding the packs!”

Both forces became silent and vigilante. The thief could be heard just over the wind as it padded the grass with four feet and dragged a noisy collection of steel equipment with it. All ears followed it to a point thirty paces away where the dark shape of a stone outcropping rose like a royal’s platform. There was a surprising amount of sound as the metal trappings scuffed against something wooden. Then, an orange orb appeared over the back of the pedestal. It seemed to be an eye, for it gave off enough light to clearly make the flesh around it visible. Though, that light must have been very strong because all of the watchers could see not only that half of the face, but the skull and brain matter as well. “Don’t fight, kiddles,” said a voice that clicked and groaned like a broken record player.

The Astounding Relativologist’s floating eyeball directed its beam at the new arrival, which caused many in both forces to wish they hadn’t looked. Standing atop the rock was a creature in the shape of a man. Its right side was wooden, like a tailor’s mannequin. The left side was gelatinous and translucent, and it contained the creature’s lone, bulbous eye. A billowing black cloak covered everything from the neck down, but it also wore the pilfered hare equipment. The plates were fastened to the waist upside-down, looking like an oversized steel skirt all the way to the knees and with its shoulder straps dragging on the ground. In the right hand, also wooden, was grasped a spear in dramatic pose. Or, it would have been if the butt of it weren’t the airborne end. Around the forehead, the creature wore a karate style headband emblazoned with a smiling cat insignia.

“The mark of the Queen’s honor guard?” asked the hare commander incredulously. The Astounding Relativologist was silent with a studious expression, likely trying to associate some known family of creature with this abomination.

“I am Edgar,” clicked the half-wooden man as if reading from a script, the words recited more than understood. “Tortured Mau,” he continued as he pointed to a location at the base of the platform. The eye’s beam tilted at a mental command from its creator, and the third of the generals was revealed. She was humanoid, though feline in the exact manner that Butterworth’s troops were hares. Most of her charcoal colored fur was covered in the trappings of a far away queen. Robes, white, blue, and gold adorned her body. The same colors played over her tall hat with its strong metal peaks. Rows upon rows of necklaces hung from her, each with a charm either intricate or dazzling. The only other object on her person was a staff with just as many charms attached to it and ending in the looped cross of eternity. Her other hand rested between the ears of a large cat. This one was shaped like a natural leopard, if somewhat sleeker. Its skin, however, was a piece of the night sky with stars that actually twinkled and confused both eyes and sensibilities. With the entire gathering staring at her, Tortured Mau simply nodded and looked down at her pet. Her pupils glowed brightly with the light directed at her, but that did not hide the sadness ever present on her face.

“Make eyes. Follow,” Edgar said to no one in particular as he hobbled off of the rock and walked toward the generals. He moved as if one leg was weaker than the other.

Sergeant Puddles was caught halfway into a bow, though even he couldn’t decide if it was directed at Edgar or Mau. One bore the highest mark of royalty and acted as if expecting obedience, but the other was a creature so similar to legend that she must have been related to the royal family in some manner. The problem of divided loyalties was solved, though, as the one called Tortured Mau fell in graceful step behind Edgar. With vigor righting his ears, the Queen’s finest hare turned to his troops and shouted, “We follow the Queen’s emissaries, may her and them live eternal forthwit!” The hares locked spears and bows into marching position as an affirmative response, though a sizeable number still expressed doubt in their eyes.

Edgar and Mau passed between the two generals. The first gave not even a glance to either despite their stares at the pilfered hare shield he wore like a tortoise shell. Mau gave each a contemplative, wistful look. “If only…” her eyes seemed to say, though she didn’t elaborate at all.

“Under whose authority?” asked The Astounding Relativologist with a tone so aloof that it spread to many of his students. Before a response could be given, he cocked his head to the side as if listening to something within his globe-like helmet. “Father Brain has resumed contact,” he informed his forces. Wide grins spread throughout and sweat was wiped from many helmeted brows. Their instructor listened for a few moments longer, and then he turned to them and said, “We are to follow this… creature.” Numerous students whispered that this was the first time he had not come up with a specific, complicated designation for such an oddity.

“Eyes,” Edgar grumbled as he continued on past both leaders.

With scientific precision, and also a bit of haste, The Astounding Relativologist brought the eye creation device out of his pack once more. It appeared to be nothing but a deep metal bowl with a piston shaped handle at the top. Heavily, he punched it into the ground and forced the piston down with that familiar pop of pressure. Gas suddenly flattened the grass around it as pressures equalized and another of the All-Seeing Eyes Version 3.52, as designated by the writing on the side of the bowl, came into existence.

Edgar seemed not to notice. He simply hobbled onward, leaving a vacuum of space behind him that the army was expected to fill.

*~*

As the grey of dawn lightened the pitch black of the night, it found the small army moving north along the western beach. All-seeing eyes, ten in total, floated overhead like fairies with flashlights. The hares, with both spear and crossbow, secured the outer ring of the formation. Their strong legs tensed and released at a leisurely pace despite the supplies carried by many. Clearly, they had not had a march this slow since basic training. In the center was the entirety of Class 438. They already seemed tired and nervous, their gun-like devices held guardedly at their chests. At their fore was the transport they had built themselves as a class project. It was a giant steel behemoth, though it looked too much like a beetle to inspire thoughts of grandeur. Arms were set into moving belts that wrapped over and under it for the whole length, each of which supported a long metal plate. The vehicle, it appeared, used those to walk. To the unknowing eye, it would certainly look like as if the heavy machine was supported by spindly legs and metal sheets. More than a few hares had commented on the impossibility of such a design, and the students just smiled smugly and whispered to each other. They knew that the vehicle ran on not conventional power, but reflected an antigravity field from the reflector plates when they were under its belly. It was as obvious as relative spatial fluid theory from their junior year.

At the head of the army, the wooden leader and his three generals walked while having a meeting of the minds. Only Sergeant Puddles and The Astounding Relativologist put much effort into communication, though. Mau glanced at them once in a while with a bemused expression, then resumed patting her pet’s back. Edgar, with all his attention on the path ahead, gave the impression that there wasn’t enough of a mind there for them to meet with properly. They all followed, though, more for the fact that only this creature called Edgar was native to this world. That didn’t speak well for Althanas’ reputation.

The whole army has moved east to Central Coast (Location B).

[Tiberius]

Under the cover of darkness and silence, twelve men land safely on the shores of Needle Point Valley from the Southern Rift (Location C). They silently hide their rafts and make their way two miles inland before setting up camp. They light no fires and use little sound. Come morning they will march up the coast to the Central Coast (Location B) and investigate the sighting of a large force of bodies there.