Save the Village!

[Call me J]

(open via PM)

Certain that it would impress Ashley, Jame carried his recent purchase from the bazaar with a sense of undeserved accomplishment. He had sent message by raven mail that she should meet him at a village near the coast, and the young half-dragon couldn’t help but to think about how impressed she would be. “She said I have no direction... no focus,” he thought with pride. “How’s she going to say that to someone who spent three hundred gold pieces on a useless weapon...”

Thus, as Jame arrived in Basthuk, he was conscious of the way that the locals looked at him. Normally, the half-dragon was oblivious to his surroundings, but now, Jame liked the idea that his new purchase had made him the center of attention. The fact was, Jame could tell that his stature, combined with his new weapon, had impressed most of the town. Women told their children not to come too close, and young women of marrying age glanced coquettishly towards him. It filled Jame with a newfound sense of confidence that he hadn’t felt in quite a long time.

The only thing that might have seemed unsettling was the lack of activity. Everyone who had been looking at him maintained their distance and stayed within the safety of their homes. It wasn’t all that cold of a day, especially considering it was the Salvarian coast, but there were still no vendors or children playing in the streets, no fishermen or serpent hunters returning from the coast, not even a police officer patrolling the streets.

Had Jame been more observant, he would have realized that he had picked a poor place to meet Ashley. However, the half-dragon thought little of this, but instead smiled when he finally saw a little boy run out into the street.

“Are you here to save us?” the child asked as he ran towards Jame.

Jame, caught up in his newfound sense of bravado, replied, “yes.” He didn’t know what it was that the child needed saving from, but he doubted that any problem facing a young boy was going to be all that difficult for him to handle.

The boy’s face began to brim with tears, as if he had suddenly been promised a gift his parents had always been too poor to buy. The boy wrapped his arms around Jame, leaving the half-dragon to pat the boy uneasily on the head.

“Thank you,” the boy’s mother said. “I’m sorry he was so abrupt, but our town’s diviner promised that a hero would arrive today... he just saw you and got excited.”

Jame smiled. “Of course he would,” the half-dragon boasted. “I’m quite a sight to see.” He showed off his new bazaar purchase, letting the glassy black delyn shine brightly with the light of the Salvar sun.

With that, the mother’s eyes began to well up just like her son’s. “Come in, come in...” she said, ushering Jame over towards her house. “We’ll send for the mayor, but I was just about to make dinner. You have to be our guest...”

Jame smiled. He had never expected that a mere trip to the bazaar would make that much of a difference on the way that people saw him.

[Call me J]

Dinner was a relatively somber affair, hardly the kind of meal Jame imagined his celebrity status had earned him. There was a stew on the table, and from the smell of it, all Jame could figure out was that it had the meat of some snow mammal or the other. That was the only course from what Jame could see, despite the fact that the summer was temperate enough in Southern Salvar for crops, there were no vegetables anywhere, neither in the woman’s cupboards nor anywhere around the stove.

Jame thought to complain, but before he could get a word in, the woman who was serving him poured a large ladleful of stew into his empty bowl.

“I’m sorry, we didn’t know you were coming here,” she said. “I would have assumed a hero like you would have gone straight to the mayor... not stopped to answer a little boy’s question. But thank you... really thank you. You’ve given all of us hope.”

Jame had managed little more than a less than grateful nod in acknowledgement of his dinner before the woman started speaking again.

“The mayor is already being sent for, when he comes, he’ll be ready to listen to what you have to say,” she continued. “Everyone has been waiting for you for just sooo long, I can just imagine the way everyone is going to be... it’s been since forever that we’ve had anything real to celebrate around here!” She marveled at Jame, staring at the young half-dragon as he took his first sip of the soup. “And to think.... I don’t even know your name...”

Jame’s face puckered as he tasted the soup. The meat had been salted, it wasn’t fresh, and the difference in taste was obvious. The meat had also offered little to the gravy, and outside of the few salty chunks of meat that hovered in the soup like misshapen icebergs, the rest of the broth was essentially water.

“And you couldn’t have prepared a better meal?” Jame replied. “I’ve come from so far... I spent four hundred gold pieces at the bazaar and you tell me this, that I have to eat such cheap soup?”

The woman looked taken aback, but before she could muster words from her disapointedly quivering lip, she was interrupted by her son returning with a few of the town’s dignitaries.

“So you’re the hero that the diviners told us about...” the mayor said, not bothering to introduce himself or any of the people around him. It was only at this point that Jame realized he had not yet given anyone his name. “It is so good that you’ve arrived.”

“Yes... yes it is,” the first woman added, as if trying to overcome how embarrassed she was about the way her soup had been described.

Jame put down his spoon. “Yes, I’m your hero,” he said. Though he was a bit confused with the words and the mention of diviners, he didn’t seem all that concerned about it either. “Make sure Ashley knows about that when she gets here?”

“Who’s Ashley?” the mayor asked. He exchanged a few confused glances with the rest of the town elders.

“My girlfriend,” Jame replied. “She was supposed to meet me here, and I’m going to go find her now...”

[Call me J]

By the time that Ashley had arrived, the entire town was practically singing Jame’s praises. Though it had been less than fifteen minutes since Jame had revealed his intentions to the boy, the news had spread through the town like fire over a forest starved for water. However, as Jame approached Ashley, he was shocked to see such a sour expression on her face.

“I bought this sword,” he said, speaking quickly so as to curb her from getting a word in before him. “I spent a whole lot of money on this to show you that I’m finally committed to something!”

“I should HAVE you committed,” Ashley retorted. “The way you’ve been behaving lately, the Justice of the Ethereal Sway couldn’t convince me that you’ve changed... I don’t care what you’ve spent your last bit of allowance on... or even if you go around playing hero in this town...”

Jame flushed red. With everyone in the town calling him a hero, Jame hated the idea that Ashley would publicly acknowledge him as something less. “I AM a hero!” he insisted. “This town has embraced me...”

“Why?” Ashley shot back irritably. “Why have they embraced you?”

“I’m the hero...” Jame said. “Look at my sword, its that simple!”

As if on cue, the mayor appeared behind Jame and smiled at Ashley. “I’m glad to have your boyfriend here,” he said. “We’ve finally got someone who can save us from the monster.”

“Monster?” Ashley asked incredulously.

The mayor nodded.

Ashley looked at Jame, shook her head and then walked away. “Good luck,” she said. “You’ll need it.”

Finally it had sunk in to Jame’s callow skull, Basthuk wanted something from him in return for their adulation. “I have to kill a monster? he thought, his eyes suddenly becoming as wide as saucers. “Just because I have the sword doesn’t mean I can kill anything or anyone with it... I mean, seriously... what did they think, I’d just come in here with my weapon and save the day. I just got it to impress a girl and now that hasn’t worked...”

As Ashley continued to walk away from him, Jame shook his head in disbelief. “Come on Ash... please...”

The mayor said something, but Jame didn’t pay much attention. He was just going to run after Ashley.

[Raelyse]

The little town in Salvar must have been particularly lucky that day, for just a few hours before the arrival of a false hero, Raelyse had actually taken up accommodation in one of their many buildings. The prince of Myrusia was far from a hero but particularly enjoyed tricking people into believing that he was. Despite this, he never once took money from his adoring fans from all across the land. That was not to say that an offered gift did not find its way into his hands, Raelyse just wanted respect and people to think highly of him.

The unsuspecting residents weren't at that stage yet though, because the prince of Myrusia was resting in his room, thinking about whether he really wanted to go to the trouble this time. He was a prince of course and that in itself deserved more respect than any hero. This was often a card he had dealt to those that were unlucky enough to be in his wake and was often one that worked.

Raelyse realized though, whatever he decided was of little paramount. He was on his way to grand things and in mere weeks, when he reached the peak of Northern Salvar, his life would be transformed and then he could truly carve his name into the hearts and minds of every man, woman and child in Althanas.

Such thoughts of grandeur were often invigorating to Raelyse but he had grown bored of the luxuries in, compared to what he normally was used to, his relatively simple room. Donning a formal jacket to fend off the relatively mild Salvarian winter, the prince took a quick look in the mirror to make sure he looked his glorious best. His silver hair, impeccable was only outdone by the perfection that was his clothes. It seemed at all times as if a spotlight was shining on the prince of Myrusia, for people always noticed him, if only at first. Oftentimes, that was all he needed.

A few moments later, the cold wind blew straight into the prince's handsome features as he exited the inn, the slight breeze enough to let him enjoy its feeling but not enough to ruin his perfect hair

Narcissistic desires were interrupted though as soon as he walked into the middle of the road, just in time to see a disheartened girl walk almost straight into him, brushing his shoulder just enough to knock him slightly off balance. Leaning on his cane and swiveling on it to turn around to see who had done that, Raelyse nearly didn't pay enough attention to turn around and realize that someone else was about to barge into him and this one would surely have knocked him over.

The prince of Myrusia turned however and buffed his chest out subtly so that his already formidable figure became even more imposing. He glared at the boy, who was mere feet away at this point, standing in between him and the girl he chased.

"Why the rush?" he said, his tone tinged with the slightest bit of rage.

Hopefully for this town, that rage would not swell.

[Call me J]

Normally, Jame would have had no qualms with ignoring the stranger. The young half dragon was rarely rude to people, but he was often inconsiderate. Had it not been for the fact that Jame was desperate for help, he wouldn’t have spoken at all. Even so, he felt little need to involve another in his troubles (lest that person laugh at him). However, Jame remembered that there had been a divination that an actual hero would arrive, and while the young half dragon had no pretentions as to whether or not he was that person, he hoped this new stranger could be.

“There is a monster who attacks the poor innocent people of this village,” Jame began, hoping to play on the sympathies of this well dressed stranger. “I don’t know much about it, but these people need someone to save them...”

The callow youth paused when he noticed that the wealthy stranger walked with a bit of a limp. “Even I could fight a monster better than a cripple,” he thought. However, Jame knew that if someone was going to have to die fighting the monster, it was better someone else than him.

“I heard even a cripple could defeat it...” Jame continued. “It’s not that hard of a monster to beat, the people around here are just scared... that’s all. You could do it. Just think what people would say...”

Before Jame could finish his sentence, there was a sudden thud that surrounded the area. Footsteps rung out like giant rings, the very ground seeming to jump with the impact of the feet upon them. Jame shuddered. He could now see, right above a few houses in the distance, the monster that he had been called on to fight. It seemed a viscious creature with one terrifying bloodshot eye lurking ravenously beyond matted dirty hair. At one point, the monster’s fur might have been yellow, but now it was dyed a rusty red with the blood of what had to be countless victims.

Reflexively, Jame looked over to Ashley to find that she seemed to be paying no attention to the beast. Lost in her own anger, she seemed impervious to the fact that the dangerous creature was so near.

“Ash- look...” he called, pointing towards the creature.

Ashley ignored him. “Shut up Jame...” she shouted, caring little that everyone else seemed to be running away in the opposite direction of her.

Jame shook his head. He didn’t know what to do. For a moment, he imagined life without Ashley, just how terrible it would be. She was the only one who understood him, the only person who listening to didn’t always seem like a chore. Though he hated to think it, the young half dragon knew he had only one option. Albeit nervously, Jame thus flapped his wings and drew his sword. He took one last glance at the cripple.

“Time to be a hero,” he said, gulping.

He only hoped that the crippled stranger could be that hero instead.

[Raelyse]

It wasn't even something that he meant to do - Raelyse's eyebrow just raised itself as the boy spoke to him. His smirk only widened as he surveyed this town. With every second that passed, it was proving more and more to be the stereotypical village that he seemed to liked so much. He hadn't been sure of it before but now that he noticed its very own adolescent try-ever-so-hard hero, the prince of Myrusia now fully realized that he was in a town that was no different to most of those that he passed through on his epic journey through Althanas. The inns, the boring, typical characters that dominated the streets and buildings, they were like carbon copies of the people he had met from all over.

The one thing that was different was that this time, the teenage swordsman had spoken to him in a manner that he had heard rarely. That patronizing way that people looked and talked to him was not something that he stood for long. His face instantly changed, crumpling from one of his quiet confidence to quite obvious rage. That feeling did not last long though, for a great sound interrupted not only his thoughts, but those of all within his immediate vicinity. It was likely for the young boy, because otherwise, Raelyse surely would have unleashed one of his many plethora of spells his way. Insult was not something that he took lightly.

The creature that appeared before him was not something to be taken lightly either and this time, the prince was the one to be lucky. He took a frightened step backwards, his face clearly contorting to show fear, fortunate that all the village had their eyes clearly focused on the monster that seemed to appear out of nowhere. The prince quickly straightened his expression, composing himself and even steadying himself.

He glanced at the boys, clearly rushing forward to confront the grotesque creature. Raelyse leaned more and more on the cane that lay entwined between his right fingers, his mind constantly debating on the question to take. He was now very much involved in the day's actions, thanks to being in the "right place" at the "right time." Within the cane lay a very fine blade, which when pulled from its ornately decorated sheath would form a very formidable rapier. Another alternative would be for him to unleash the spells that he had been saving for the boy. Then again, speaking of the boy, Raelyse could just sit back and see how he handled this threat, and also gauge the strength of this strange creature.

The latter more than looked like the option that Raelyse wanted to take and he was so convinced it was the thing that he wanted to do that he did one of the few things that he hated to do.

As the swarm of people joined in to see what the commotion was about, the prince of Myrusia blended into the crown.

[Call me J]

As Jame ran forwards he began to notice that no one was following him. “Damn cripple,” he thought, glancing all around him for some kind of help. Everywhere, there were people running away from the monster, even a few young children were left behind because of their parents fear.

In the cries of fear and pain, Jame could only call out pathetically to Ashley, begging her to listen. “Ash—come on!” he pleaded. “COME ON!”

The monster was clearly close to the girl, and by now, Jame figured that she had to see it. Maybe, somehow, she was testing him. Jame shuddered at the thought. “Maybe my sword really did fool her,” he thought. “She’s running straight for that thing because she thinks I’m going to rescue her...”

Now that Jame knew that there was no one who was going to help him, his decision had become that much harder. While he still continued running in the direction of the beast, he was moving out of inertia, not genuine conviction. He was almost running as if he expected someone to intercede in the battle, prevent him from being hurt. It was an irrational hope, but so was the boy’s hope that someone would protect Ashley.

Before Jame knew it, he was in ten feet of the monsters. His feet shook with the ground, and pebbles all around him danced up and down on to the vibrations of the monster’s footsteps. With a sword already in hand, Jame felt the cold metal upon his sweaty palm and gasped nervously, hoping that the longer he stood doing nothing, the more likely it was that he would be saved somehow.

Ashley had been hurt, still alive, but a bit of what was once a house had now fallen onto her leg. She whined, a bit pathetically, but understandably so under the consequences. There were tears in her eyes, but also a sudden sense of admiration. “Is Jame actually coming through for once? she thought, her eyes wide with amazement at that thought.

As the monster moved close, Jame knew that he wouldn’t have much of a chance against it. He waved his sword around like it was some sort of magic repellant, but ultimately found that he could make little progress doing so. The monster kept coming towards him, the powerful footsteps and dangerous claws getting that much closer with every minute.

At that point, Jame didn’t know what to do. He took his sword and threw it straight at the monster. Somehow the weapon embedded itself in the monster’s shoulder, but even then, the creature seemed unfazed. Terrified, Jame screamed pitifully for his life. “HEEEELP!!!” he begged.

The monster locked onto him. Jame began to run. Immediately, the boy headed back towards the cripple, figuring that if he couldn’t outrun anyone else, he could at least run faster than a man with a gimpy leg.

[Raelyse]

With any sense of surprise or fear vanished from his emotions, Raelyse could now freely glance at the creature that lumbered slowly towards him. It wasn't the most pleasant thing that he had ever done. He regretted it from the moment that his eyes fell upon that large, unavoidable bloodshot eye to the brief second when his eyes focused on the creature's fur, matted and crimson soaked to mark past victories, before he could take it no longer and he tilted his head. It was only then that he realized that the crowd had moved from around him into the safe haven that the nearby buildings provided or the safer option, a few feet behind the prince of Myrusia. Before he could see where else the crowd could have hidden, he spotted, out of the corner of his eye, the figure of the young hero from before sprint past him.

Almost as if by instinct, Raelyse's attention shifted back to the monster. A sword was embedded in its fur, though the majority of the blade was still jutting out and it still shook as the creature thundered forwards. The creature had hide beneath that fur, the prince surmised and the boy's strike had not been strong enough to pierce through it. That was why it had felt nothing.

With running no longer an option now that every possible hiding place was now jammed to the brim with cowardly townspeople, the prince of Myrusia sighed when he realized that swear had to be broken this day. He had no time to formulate a battle plan though for the creature was the first to attack. Reaching around its body, it pulled the sword from its body. The weapon was small for its hand, making it look more a dagger than a long sword. The impression didn't last long though for the monster braced itself before throwing the weapon rather clumsily towards the only target it had - Raelyse.

It was an attack that had the necessary strength but the precision and grace was lacking, making the attack easy to deflect. Leaning further onto his cane, the prince raised his free hand, revealing his open palm faced towards the oncoming weapon. It slowed in the air until it stopped, hovering no more than a foot in front of him. Raelyse flipped the weapon so that the sheath, and not the blade, was facing him before he raised it and brought it into his palm. He grabbed the weapon, disgusted by the sweat on the sheath, and turned to look at the boy, who was still in hiding, though he was still clearly visible.

"Take your weapon," he murmured, half of his vision still focused on the creature. It had now overcome its confusion and was now moving forward again, but this time with greater speed and vigor.

"I'm not going to say this again," the prince said, this time sterner and forcing the weapon towards him.

When the boy made no movement, Raelyse threw the weapon at his feet. Shifting his attention back to the more pressing moment, the prince executed a flamboyant, quick move. He shifted his right foot backwards and moved his left hand, previously free, to the handle of his cane and pulled strongly, unsheathing his weapon from the housing to reveal Lhustaril's glimmering black blade. He wasn't done yet though, for he dropped the partial cane, now a sheath, and threw his weapon into the air, catching it by the handle in his preferred right hand.

By now the grotesque creature was no more than three feet away and getting angrier by the inch. Still, it had the disadvantage.

Because this time Raelyse was more than willing to fight.

[Call me J]

Jame knew now that he had two choices. He had seen the way he’d been called to arms, but had not gotten involved, out of fear of death. However, he could see that all the admiration of the townspeople had shifted from him towards the cripple. “I bet even Ashley’s out there, looking impressed over this guy,” Jame muttered. “And I’m the one who got her out of that monster’s grasp…”

He figured he was going to have to do something, but he decided to bide his time. Right now, the monster seemed content to go after the cripple, probably because he was the only person within the monster’s view. However, Jame didn’t know what kind of a memory the creature had, and he was nervous to think what might happen should he emerge from hiding.

Biting down on his lip, Jame thought through his choices. He could grab the sword and join the fight, but that seemed far too risky. He could stay where he was, and see how the battle went down between the cripple and the monster, but that meant risking his newfound glory, and perhaps more importantly, his reputation with Ashley.

Neither option seemed particularly palatable. Truly, Jame just wished the monster would go away. Ashley would have been impressed with his sword then, and he would nave never had to put it to the test. Now that fate had conspired against him, he couldn’t help but think it was so unfair that his plans that had been so well thought out could have ended up so poorly in the end.

After what seemed like an eternity of agonizing, Jame picked up his sword. He looked at the blade, looked back at the monster, and then over towards Ashley. His first attack had done little damage, there was more dirt on his blade than monster blood. If he was somehow going to persevere, he would have to come up with some kind of a new idea.

Knowing he didn’t want to get any closer, he contemplated using his firebreath. Being born a half dragon had blessed him with certain natural advantages, of which that was one. However, even his firebreath was of limited range, and Jame didn’t even want to be that close. Looking at his sword one more time, he mulled over the futility of throwing it again before suddenly realizing he had the sollution.

Now, spreading his legs apart like he was launching a javelin, Jame cocked back his arm and took a long heave straight towards the monster’s eye. Once the sword was released, Jame took a deep breath and exhaled fire, heating up the Delyn blade until it took a bright red color because of the heat. Then, with a sudden bit of satisfaction, he watched as it embedded itself in the monster’s shoulder.

A few seconds later, the monster cried out in pain. However, its gaze remained upon that of the cripple.

Triumphantly, Jame readied his steel sword, just in case he wanted to repeat the process.

[Raelyse]

The opportunity presented itself and the ever vigilant prince of Myrusia spotted it instantly and chose to take advantage of it. The monster was growling in pain and had stopped its advance a few feet in front of him. Its slow move forward for him would begin again soon so he had little time, but to be modest, it was all he needed. He shifted the right side of his body backwards, raising his closed right fist before extending each one of his fingers slowly, pointing them at the monster. He had intended to use his sword but opportunity was something Raelyse never turned down. His blade was not an option right now so he let it stay at his side as he focused his attention on his powerful magic.

Just as the monster started to move again, he raised his palm, facing it towards the monster. A moment later, a lightning bolt shot forward from his open palm, slamming straight into the creature's chest, a foot short from striking it in its eye. It stumbled backwards, groaning and raising its hand to where the lightning bolt had struck it. Before it had a moment to recover, Raelyse went one better with his attack, this time launching yet another magical electric bolt. This time it struck the creature straight in the eye, causing it to stumble backwards, but this time it had not been stable and once it had failed to brace itself, it lost its balance and fell flat on its back.

The prince took a few steps forward, his eyes firmly eying the blade that stayed embedded in the creature's shoulder. He focused his mind on it and felt the bright hot weapon, still burning into its shoulder. Raelyse concentrated on the the air surrounding the boy's sword, raising his left hand and pointing his fingers at it. Rapidly, the air around it began to cool until the blade itself returned to room temperature. That wasn't it though because then, the prince froze the blade, allowing it to cut deeper and deeper into the creature.

As the monster screamed in pain, Raelyse continued to make the weapon colder and colder until it cut through the other end of the monster's body. He levitated it, taking it out of the body before shifting it and letting it float a few inches above the creature's eye before letting it slice straight into it, throwing its head back and screaming in terror.

Raelyse turned to face the crowd, knowing the monster defeated. Uncharacteristically, there was no look of triumph on his face, there was no trophy for him, not yet anyway.

"This is no natural creature," he said, moving slowly towards the crowd of people.

He didn't have to look back to see the magic enchanting the monster end. The creature rapidly shrunk, its muscles and body shrinking as its gigantic eye split into two smaller ones. Slowly, it changed back to its natural form - an orc warrior.

"And he will have friends."

[Call me J]

Jame had barely heaved a sigh of relief that the monster had been defeated when the sudden attack of the orcs began. One by one they began to winnow out of buildings, usually carrying treasure they had looted from the houses in the village. They all seemed enraged and senseless, normally intelligent creatures who now, with their brilliant ruse revealed, knew how to do nothing other than fight tooth and nail. Immediately, Jame wanted to run, but he knew that would be futile. His hiding place had provided him with little alleyways for escape, and the half-dragon doubted he could outrun a group of orcs even if he tried. When it had been one monster, he just had to outrun the slowest person. Now, he had no choice but to fight.

He barely offered a thought to Ashley as he tightened his grip on his steel blade, wishing he still had the delyn sword. That glassy black blade had meant respect, intimidation, and above all, a last chance at his girl. The delyn weapon had been what had destroyed the monster as well, and now that he was left with only his steel sword, what little confidence he had almost instantaneously evaporated.

Still, when the first orc flung a knife at him, Jame was able to dodge. He was able to block the first few paries, and then use his fire breath to create a bit more distance between himself an the orcs, a couple of the less hearty soldiers had backed off him then, but even so, Jame was outnumbered six to one with his wings up against the backside of a stone building. He held his sword tightly, gazing into the orc’s yellow eyes with the hope that they might reveal some sign that there was a more peaceful sollution.

“I- I- can take all six of you,” Jame managed bravely, hoping the sweat pouring off his body wouldn’t deter them from taking him seriously. He held his sword above his head, and prepared to breathe fire, waiting to see if there was any response from the orc.

“Krhugash… gneavarish” one of the orcs blurted unintelligibly. Jame didn’t know if the orc was speaking in a black tongue or just gibberish.

However, now the orcs began to move in a circle around Jame, and there was nothing particularly between him and them save for his sword and his wits. “Maybe if I just stave them off that cripple guy will take care of them,” he thought. He didn’t know the cripple well at all, but it seemed that the man was far more magically adroit than the average Althanian. Once again, with limited hopes for survival, Jame knew he was going to have to rely on others if he was going to escape.

Just hoping to bide time, he breathed a wave of fire, setting whatever flammable debris there was on the ground on fire. It was a small bit of fire, but for the barefooted orcs, it would be painful to cross. Unsure, they looked towards the one who had spoken earlier for direction.

With the speed of an idea, Jame seized this opportunity, taking his sword and running it straight through one of the orcs looking for direction, and by the time they had recognized Jame’s attack, he had already withdrawn his sword from his victim. The young half dragon used this opportunity wisely, slipping out past the orcs and running vaguely in Ashley’s direction.

[Raelyse]

There was no creature that Raelyse found more disgusting than the orc. He could not deny that they were muscular and robust creatures, who were arguably better warriors than humans. But he neglected that, like he did with any one else's talents, for the only thing that Raelyse really cared about in all honesty was the appearance. He loved elves, he liked humans and he didn't mind any other humanoid. But dwarves and gnomes were quite low on his list of favorite creatures. Of all the common races though, orcs and all their relations were the only one that Raelyse could honestly say that he was repulsed by. They always seemed to be dirty in his eyes and even on a good day, they usually were nothing more than giant, animated humanoid mud.

Seeing them pour from every conceivable hole in the town, already beginning their war chants and beating their own chests like savages was all that Raelyse could take. They waved their weapons in the air, running around the town apparently aimlessly now that they had finally been released. The prince took a quick look around, stepping backwards into the cover, until he released there was no where left to hide. The humans had already been rounded up like cattle and were being shifted into a rather large building by the orcs, who were clearly showing no mercy, pushing them roughly and sometimes even striking them with their weapons. They were quickly surrounding the few people that remained and unfortunately, the isolated Raelyse was one of those.

Orcs encircled him, separating him from his only other possibly ally, the young boy with the fire magic. That was the last thing on his mind thoughthey revealed their sharp, dirty teeth. About seven to ten orcs now surrounded him, in addition to the other five or so which were focusing on the boy. There was no visible leader, for all of them shouted as one as they brandished their stained, black teeth. The prince had been shocked by how fast these creatures had been at getting out of their hiding place and how strong they apparently were. Their magic was another matter. The transformation from orc to hairy cyclops had not been an improvement aesthetically speaking, but the change in strength was notable.

He channeled the powers from his rings in anticipation, readying his muscles for battle, tightening his grip on the handle of the majestic sword in his right hand. Raelyse didn't have much time to devise a strategy though, for the muscular creatures rushed forwards from all angles, attacking the prince of Myrusia from all sides. He didn't have much time to react, so he did the first thing that came to his mind.

His telekinetic talent was focused inwards and he used that to throw himself backwards. The height had been about five feet into the air and he had managed to fling himself about ten feet away from the circle of orcs. Raelyse just managed to brace himself on impact, preventing himself from losing his balance and falling down. He landed roughly on his feet, but he endured it... he could not let his enemy see any weakness.

As the orcs swiveled around, wondering where their prey had gone, Raelyse was already spending much of his energy restraining himself from wincing in pain. As he had escaped the frenzy, a rogue blade had cut through his pants and sliced across his left shin.

"Perfect," the prince said softly to himself. "Just fucking perfect."

[Call me J]

As Jame continued to move, he could feel that there were orcs coming at him from all directions. By now, every last one of the murderous creatures had given up on their initial plans of thieving for revenge. Jame could hear their war chants ringing in his ears. He was headed towards Ashley, not sure himself it was by design or purpose. He wanted to escape, he wanted to emerge alive, but somehow, his recent parries had made him considerably more confident. Already, he’d managed to hold a whole group of orcs at bay with his fire breath, and yet another one had fallen to his sword. Now, as his feet moved across the hard cold earth, he couldn’t help but feel that he could ready Ashley too.

Soon enough, Jame heard her cry. In a situation indicative of how the fates had changed, she was calling out to him, her shins crushed under a large wooden beam. The orcs, till now, had ignored her, but now a rather small one with a lewd expression was angling towards her. Ashley wiggled pitifully, her hands desperately grabbing at dirt and debris to fling at the diminutive orc’s body. Drooling lustfully, the orc seemed to be completely immune to her weak defenses, blocking them with his crossbow.

With a group of orcs on his back, Jame didn’t know what to do. He could throw his sword, but that would leave him weaponless with an army facing him. His firebreath might keep him from being completely defenseless, but the young half dragon’s throat was already parched from his earlier uses and his lungs were struggling enough just to get the air he needed.

Shaking his head, Jame knew there wasn’t much that he could do, but there was something that he had no choice but to do. Still fully hoping that the cripple would be able to defeat the rest of the lot, Jame ran straight towards Ashley, holding his sword right above his head. With his heart pounding in his chest and his lungs withered from fatigue, Jame still closed the distance between himself and the prurient orc. With a hard, heavy blow, Jame decapitated the orc, only to feel his wings behind him sliced into by one of his pursuants.

Terrified and shuddering in pain, the young half dragon was crippled to his knees. His wings were quite tender, and the callow youth had never suffered this kind of an injury before. “I’m sorry,” he mouthed to Ashley, weakly as his whole body shuddered in a mixture of disappointment and fear.

The orcs now gathered around Jame. His sword fell from his hand. Still, he did not beg for mercy or disgrace himself, but only because Ashley was watching. Now, he was going to prove himself, even though it was going to kill him.

However, just as the orcs were about to deal him a glancing blow, a crossbow bolt whizzed through the air. It landed right between the eyes of the orc who was about to deal Jame a final blow. Jame looked up, it was Ashley. Somehow, she had wrested the weapon from the orc he had killed. With a sudden rush of adrenaline, Jame took advantage of the moment to hit a pair of his assailants in the groin, and deliver a swift kick to the chest of a third. All three crumbled to the ground in pain.

Still wounded, Jame brushed away the tears from his face and stumbled to his feet. Grateful for the few moments of rest he had now, he staggered his way towards Ashley and freed her from the beam. She got up, weakly, unable to put any weight on her right leg. The battle was still going on, but for a moment, they were safe.

[Raelyse]

Yet again, Raelyse found himself missing Raiaera once again. Even the most savage of possible attackers there would never gang up on him in such a manner as before. His dramatic escape from their clutches had only served as a temporary deterrent to them. Disappointment quickly turned to blood lust once again as the most overeager of the group charged forward, waving his broad sword, which now appeared gigantic, leading his slower-off-the-mark allies. The prince swallowed the last of his fear and shifted his body backwards, gritting his shiny white teeth through the pain. He had no choice, he had to face them straight on. His confidence was the last thing that was keeping him going. Fortunately for the prince, that was the only thing about him that was truly invincible.

Raelyse waited for the orc to close the distance and even waited for him to prepare his heavy weapon for strike before he dashed forward, using his momentum to swing his right hand forward around his body in an extravagant, yet incredibly fast slice. The tip of the tinted black blade, Lhustaril cut across the fast orc's stomach before he had a chance to even think about striking. Guts poured out from the wound but the prince had already moved forward to greet the advancing warriors. Their fallen companion had dropped his weapon before his legs gave way and he fell into his own stomach. They lay there shocked, a cluster of warriors with their feet rooted to the ground.

Raelyse gave them no chance to recover, sprinting forward with all that he had, bringing his sword above his head and striking hard on his next enemy's weapon, causing him to bring the weapon up to block, before the prince's weapon moved quicker than death back to his side before slicing across the orc's dirty chest and downing him shortly afterwards. Yet another fallen companion spurred them on and the orcs moved on the prince, who had already taken a few steps backwards to ready himself for the inevitable assault.

He panted tired from his efforts, watching sweat bead from his forehead and come across his sight before three weapons came at him. Raelyse swung his weapon wildly in an arc above his head, deflecting all three of them, an axe and two swords away from him before thrusting his left hand forward and using his telekinetic powers push one of them away and into the ones that were yet to attack. The other two had not been as lucky as their friend, for they lived the whole minute less. Raelyse spun wildly, pirouetting like a ballerina as he moved across the orcs to avoid the assault that he knew was coming and thrusted his blade into the side of the axe wielding one before pulling out not only his blade but a substantial amount of innards to his side.

As that orc fell to the ground, Raelyse was surprised to see his ally attack so quickly, avenging his fallen comrade with a overhead slash. The prince acted completely on instinct at that point, turning the weapon in his hand and thrusting it up into the air to counter so that the length of the blade was across his body. The heavy sword came down hard and sent vibrations all the way down the prince's arm but he endured that as well. With the orc recovering from his heavy attack, the prince swept his left leg across and tripped the heavy creature on the ground in front of him. The creature tripped and fell and before he hit the ground, Raelyse's sword had thrust straight into his chest. The prince turned his head backwards, sweeping his silver hair from his face to see the remaining four orcs standing there with no reluctance shown on any of their gruesome faces.

Raelyse tightened his grip on Lhustaril's handle and thrust his blade deeper into the orc's chest to make sure he was dead.

He was.

But the prince of Myrusia was not. He had not known the magic that dwelt within the black-tinted blade that lay in his hand until this moment but now he did. For as the blade lay deep within the orc's chest, Raelyse could feel the weapon drain strength from the creature and feed it into its wielder. All of a sudden, the prince felt reinvigorated. As he allowed himself a glance around the arena to the rest of the fallen orcs, the prince realized how he was able to endure his wound so easily.

He had no wound - Lhustaril had sucked life force from his victims and healed the prince of Myrusia. As the remaining orcs charged on him, Raelyse pulled his weapon from the chest of his enemy and stepped over the fallen bodies.

Now that he knew that he could truly fight all day, he had no qualms about spending his time in the company of orcs.

[Call me J]

As Jame staggered forwards with Ashley, he couldn’t help but feel grateful for the tranquility he had been provided in the middle of battle. Spent aggression and the gaping wound in his wing made him a bit dizzy, and the young half dragon knew he couldn’t fight much longer no matter what the stakes. Still, it felt good to be leaning on Ashley, as she leaned on him and they took advantage of each others’ strengths. Ashley, still armed with her crossbow, had reloaded it to finish off the orcs that had been knocked out by Jame.

All around them, the orcs around him had begun to retreat. Now that some of their most hardy had been felled, many of the orcs that remained had begun to investigate their loot and realize that it was well worth what they had paid for it. Jame smiled, he could tell that was what they were thinking, by the reverence in their eyes. It was the same as when he had first appeared in the village with the delyn sword. Whether or not he had earned it, in the eyes of the looters, five orcs had failed to finish him off. With his steel sword still in hand, Jame could tell that none of the others wanted another try.

Thus, Jame moved like an angel through the battle, watching as a few of the townspeople had begun to throw their own lot in against the orcs, either out of anger or just to regain their stolen property. The entire village was in shambles, and James wasn’t surprised that those who could would risk their lives to get what worldly possessions had not been destroyed by the monster’s final attack.

For a moment, Jame wondered if it wouldn’t make sense to take advantage of this turn in fate to leave. After all, he had saved Ashley, proved himself a hero, and accomplished everything else that he’d set out to do. However, the young half-dragon thought of his delyn sword, lying now on the ground right near where the monster had fallen. Initially, the area had been surrounded by orcs, but Jame figured now that he would be able to get it back.

After everything he’d been through, Jame coveted the sword. He was no warrior, and he never intended to be, but he wanted everyone to know what he’d done. Now that he was still standing in the midst of corpses and shattered homes, still breathing and able to walk, he could feel the headiness of the situation overwhelm him. The blood that flowed out from his wounds seemed to be miniscule compared to the proud blood flowing through his veins. He had been desperate, he had killed, he had felt the fear of death, and had delivered that fear onto others.

There was going to be nothing that was going to stop him.

“We’ve gotta get my sword,” he told Ashley, nudging over to the delyn weapon with his chin.

Ashley shook her head. “I’ve had enough of your stupidness,” she said. “I don’t want either of us killed…”

“Ash… you’ve already killed three of ‘em…” Jame began, only to be cut off.

“And I’d think that’s enough,” Ashley replied.

Jame bit his lip. For a brief second, he wondered how much he wanted the weapon. “I’m going for it,” he said. “Let go of me if you do…”

Ashley just shook her head, seemingly resigned to her fate. The two of them hobbled over towards the sword, and then Jame held it out in his hand again, sheathing his steel blade, the namesake, in favor of the glassy black one.

“And can we go?” Ashley asked impatiently.

Jame didn’t say anything. He looked around, watching the cripple battle a whole set of orcs with ease. The young half dragon smiled the unsettling smile of a callow idea. Ashley’s eyes rolled. “Just a minute,” he said.

Ashley shook her head, and grabbed a piece of cloth from the ground. It was relatively clean, torn from what at one time was probably a very expensive dress. “At least let me bandage it…”

However, her words had no avail, Jame had already run his delyn blade through the back of an orc.

[Raelyse]

The few orcs that had been spared of the assault were now being rounded up by the very people that had they had been herding like sheep not so long ago. The ones that had come so close to facing Raelyse were the last few that were not facing any foe. Those three had already considered escape, but now that the silver haired one had inspired his fellow humans to retaliate and attack, there was no gap in the endless wall of inhabitants who were defending their home with unending reserves of energy. The prince of Myrusia walked towards them so dramatically, even slowing himself down to enjoy the moment. The orcs were moving further and further into themselves, trying to defend themselves from all sides, knowing surely that they were going to die very soon.

Thoughts unlimited ran through Raelyse's mind as he contemplated what to do. His first thought had been to simply end all three of them but he realized that would lead him nowhere. These cattle needed a herder. They would not simply attack a random village, even one that was so close to trade routes. There must be something here, there must be something worth for them to take. Then again, maybe this town was just a baby and the candy was just too tempting for them to take. Nevertheless, Raelyse could not get the thought out of his mind that there was an actual mind behind the attack of these otherwise brainless creatures. If he didn't find out, it would definitely come back to hurt him. The leader had in possession some powerful magic if he could transform his men into such strong behemoths.

When Raelyse was in striking distance, he let his blade rest at his side as he eyed the three orcs. "Tell me," he said sternly, still managing to be heard over the din of the orcs. "Where is your leader? Who is your leader?"

They said nothing, even doing so much as to look away vainly, though the prince knew that out of the corner of their eyes at least, they were looking at him, waiting for his move. When he took another step forward, he saw them shuffle scared, he saw them tremble in fear. Raelyse lifted his left hand at this point, opening his palm and watching as a ice shard about one foot long materialized in the air inches in front of him, generated through the prince's magical talents. Without warning, the shard shot forward, piercing into the middle orc's forehead, straight in between his eyes, killing him instantly. He fell down to the ground dead not a moment later.

Raelyse watched as the two looked down at their fallen comrade, only for the one on the left to receive a similar attack, this one striking him straight in the chest. This one stumbled backwards a few times before he fell to his knees, grabbing at the shard of ice embedded in his chest before he fell face first into the dirt, mere feet away from his downed comrade. The last remaining one eyed Raelyse, all of his fervor, courage and adrenaline now faded along with all of his comrades. The prince of Myrusia saw various men around the surrounding area nock arrows to their bows, pulling back bowstrings and waiting to strike. He held his hand up to ask them to stop.

"No, I don't like you," Raelyse began. "I want to have my answer."

When the orc just growled back, the prince moved forward and sliced across his enemy's chest with a purposely uncharacteristically slow attack. There was a parry with a rather large broadsword but Raelyse had wanted his opponent to bring up his weapon. He raised his weapon again, this time striking with typical hard and fast fury, slamming his blade hard and strong onto the orc's weapon, knocking it from his grasp and onto the ground. The prince then reached up and punched the orc hard in his stomach, causing him to stumble backwards. Raelyse followed this up with a hard pushing kick aimed at the chest, knocking him flat and onto the ground. He raised his weapon high and in the air and pierced the tip of Lhustaril's blade deep into the creature's shoulder, causing him to scream wildly in pain.

"Tell me, you won't live anyway. But now you won't get the pain of suffering."

The orc did nothing, grunting and biting his lips in pain. After Raelyse twisted the blade in his shoulder, causing yet another scream of pain, he eyed his fallen enemy with much disdain. The prince invoked Lhustaril's magic, but controlled the flow, causing life force to slowly flow from the orc and into him.

"Now your pain will be infinite."

"t-t-trosk..." the orc just managed to mumble. "troll... trosk..."

It was a name that Raelyse recognized early and not one that brought back the fondest of memories. He pulled his weapon from the creature and turned around, sheathing his blood soaked blade into the sheath strapped to his waist.

The prince walked away, knowing in his heart that he had missed the chance once again to catch Trosk Warstorm, his long time nemesis. He had assumed that the leader of the orcs had left long ago and now that the dying orc had confirmed the identity of the leader, he knew that all he had done today was put a dent in an orc army.

Raelyse knew how insignificant that dent woudl turn out to be. Trosk was a formidable, wily troll and this setback would be temporary.

"I need to leave," Raelyse said as he paced away, noticing that he had spoken underneath his breath, but loud enough for the warrior boy and his girlfriend to hear.

[Call me J]

Jame’s newfound desire to fight was soon extinguished. He had jumped into the fray whole heartedly just at the moment that the orcs had decided that their survival lay in running. After he had run his sword through the first of them, the rest began to move away like oil dropped in a pool of water, and the few that stayed did so more out of surprise than because of a genuine need to fight. Jame smiled as he stood over three more slain orcs, and looked on through the cripple’s interrogation.

Soon, Jame felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Ashley. “We’re done here,” she said, putting extra emphasis on the word done, as if to imply that if they weren’t done there, then their relationship was through.

Jame saw little reason to disagree. He had regained the respect of the village, and any other orcs that he would have killed for reputation had now dispersed. The adrenaline that had compelled him back into the battle was waning, and good sense and fear were creeping back into his judgment. The appeal of war was ephemeral, and without the steady strew of corpses, it could not be maintained in Jame.

The callow youth had yet to consider the ramifications of his actions, or what it meant to have survived. Through the battle, he had thought too much for it to be healthy.

“Yeah,” he replied. “I guess we’re done. Hey…” He winced. Ashley had begun to tie up his wing so as to protect it from other damage. Jame tried to move it, but it was a bit stiff. He was quite tired now, he had lost a good deal of blood and was prepared to go home.

Even the cripple was walking away. Under his breath, the powerful sorcerer announced his intentions to Jame, and the boy couldn’t help but feel as if they had shared some kind of kinship as a result. After all, it had been the two of them who had slain the monster- the cripple’s magic, but Jame’s sword.

“We’re leaving too…” Jame called out to the cripple. He began to walk out in the same direction as the cripple. With a pleading look, Jame glanced back towards Ashley. He could tell that she wouldn’t have wanted to continue on anything more that even vaguely resembled a continuance of the day’s events, but she had been resigned to them at this point.

“Oh just go….” Ashley said. “I’ve turned you into a monster, now haven’t I?”

The choice of words was poor, but Jame had not yet begun to feel guilt for what had happened in the village, least of all the orcs he’d killed. Youth had provided him the advantage that many veterans lacked. Knowing nothing about families or heartache, killing seemed much more innocuous for Jame.

“Just meet me at the Ravensdale pub,” Ashley said. “When you’re done…”

Jame nodded and headed out after the cripple.

[Raelyse]

Despite the fact that Raelyse's body language hinted in every way that he wanted to be alone, it came as no surprise that the boy came running up to him, his boots clashing on the ground alerting him to the fact a long time before he turned his head around to see that inevitable face looking back at him.

"What?" he asked grumpily. "I saved you and your little girl, didn't I?"

He was in no mood to socialize and was never in the mood to make new friends, espicially when he had nothing to exploit from that relationship. He eyed the boy for a while longer, seeing the eagerness etched clearly into his face, even as he spoke and scolded him. It was then and there that he realized that there was something to gain from this little boy.

"Sorry," he said, every muscle in his face defying his true emotions and taking new orders from his brain. "I'm just a bit tired... How'd you like to come along with me?"

Raelyse knew there was no way that he would deny. His swordplay and magic had been nothing short of flawless and since the battle had ended, not an eye in the city had moved from the perfectly orchestrated manner in which he conducted himself. This boy was no different. The way in which he had left the girl's side to join his had given him the hint and the way that he looked at him confirmed it.

"My name is Raelyse."

Myrusia would have to wait. It wasn't safe for the leader of the Grander's Order to be without any form of protection in the middle of nowhere when a known enemy was hiding somewhere in the shadows.

Even if their newest member was in his company.

Spoils: Raelyse's rapier gains the following ability -

A powerful enchantment, imbued into the blade by the elven bard Legiomir, exists within the weapon. Anytime the blade pierces flesh, it drains strength from the victim and revitalizes the user, removing fatigue. Minor to medium wounds are also healed, though Raelyse has yet to experience whether Lhustaril’s magic affects major wounds.

[Call me J]

Jame wasn’t sure what to make of the sudden passive aggressiveness, but he had decided to ignore it for the most part. He was somehow different after the battle, he couldn’t exactly explain it, but for the moment he just felt better being in the company of someone who was comfortable with violence.

With an unwary sigh, Jame looked back at the village. Many of the people who had respected him upon his arrival, were now moving uncertainly among the rubble, looking for family friends, and if they were fortunate enough to have both of those, what was left of their possessions. Despite he was amidst all that destruction during the fight, it had never occurred to him what the casualties would be for the village. All he had been concerned about was his own survival and killing the orcs.

He was tired and embarrassed, but a part of him craved for redemption. In this, his first battle, Jame’s wing had been cut into and his pride severely bruised. He hadn’t been able to handle the pain, and had it not been for Ashley, he would have been just another of the casualties on the ground. Now that Ashley’s bandage had stopped the bleeding and there were no more orcs around, he felt almost foolish for turning to tears and hopelessness then.

Still, there was little point dwelling on the past, especially when there was a future so easy to grasp. “I’m Jame,” he said, replying to Raelyse. Jame could tell that some of the respect that Raelyse was getting was now being reflected on him because of the fact that they were walking away from the battle together.

It was once again a heady feeling. Everyone else who had taken arms up against the orcs was left trying to pick up the pieces from the battle, but Jame and Raelyse were able to leave with no particular concerns. They had been immune to the destruction that had almost destroyed a village.

Jame smiled, warily, but it was still a smile. The future was open.

[Witchblade]

Story

Continuity: - 8 This was a typical save the village thread that felt like more, not because of some new twist that you two threw into the quest but because of your characters. They made it interesting, their personalities and actions made it enjoyable. The story behind the thread was something we’ve seen a thousand times of Althanas, but it wasn’t the story that kept me reading, it was the characters and the way in which they were written. There wasn’t a lot of information as to why Raelyse just happened to be spending the night in this particular village though, not that it really detracted from the story.

Setting: - 6 Shyam you have a good knack for describing setting in small details, but not really big ones. I knew the streets were barren and that few if any people wandered them, but I never really knew what the village looked like. The monster was also part of your setting for a while but never fully described by either of you. It was there, it was hairy and it had one eye but until it start crushing houses and things like that I didn’t know how truly big it was, I was picturing something much smaller. And if it was so big, just how did Ashley miss it? It supposedly shook the ground when it walked, even an angry person would notice that.

Pacing: - 6 The flow of the quest was great. At intense moments for the characters, the reader was on the edge of their seat waiting to see what would happen next to the unlikely duo. One I found that hurt the flow a bit was Raelyse’s interrogation of the orcs. Because Jame had just jumped back into the fray of battle, the reader was expecting a bit more action to take place, a bit more something, not an interrogation. Also the ending seemed rather abrupt. Jame just kind of left Ashley and Raelyse decides to ask him to travel with him, which is normally fine. However Shyam your last post just didn’t feel like a conclusion at all, it made it feel like the two of you should start posting more. Giving it an open ending is one thing, perhaps you just left it a little too open.

Character

Dialogue: - 8 Great dialogue. As stated below, Jame truly came out in all of his actions, including his dialogue. It was childish and rash at the best of times, and downright stupid and rude at the worst of times. Calling Raelyse a cripple to his face was downright funny and stupid at the same time. If Raelyse were a real person, I would have loved to see the look on his face at that point in time. I’m sure it would have been classic. Even the dialogue of the NPC’s came out rather well, their small roles coming to life simply by making them seem more real.

I always thought that Raelyse would be a bit more pompous in the way he speaks, however his speech seems rather normal to me. I don’t know if he’s always like that or not, but his attitude would suggest a more refined way of speaking.

Persona: - 9 Jame is a youthful boy that doesn’t understand much if any of how the world around him truly works and this comes out in his thoughts, his words and in his actions. I love the way he is portrayed as naïve, dense and selfish. It is very much in tune with someone who is ‘let’s say 14’ years of age. He doesn’t understand the ramifications of his actions and doesn’t really care to. All he does care about are how things affect him. Even his girlfriend at times he forgets about, choosing only to think of himself. This doesn’t even damn him in the eyes of the reader but makes him more real and believable. It also makes the reader want to continue to read his adventures see how he changes as a person, matures maybe and how he learns about life’s lessons the hard way.

As for Raelyse, well he’s Raelyse and we all know that you don’t have any problems portraying his narcissism, Colin. In fact Raelyse’s personality comes out very well in the way you write him. As he slices open an orcs stomach, you’re talking about his hair catching the light of the sun at the same time. It really puts emphasis onto the mind of the character.

Action: - 9 The actions portrayed the characters and their personalities well. I even liked the idea that there needed to be an intervening event that had to throw Raelyse into the battle, for otherwise he would have stayed on the sidelines. Jame’s actions were clumsy and every time he successfully killed an orc or dodged an attack, his confidence grew, unknowingly putting him in even more danger. I really enjoyed the fact that he preferred to keep a distance between himself and those he was fighting and he would do this by throwing his weapon rather than using it. The NPC Ashley seemed to have a sudden burst of bravado as well; either that or it was the will to survive kicking in.

Writing Style

Mechanics: - 8 Spelling mistakes were few and far between, but I still spotted a few of them. You guys know the drill, re-read your posts, blah blah blah; you’re not new to this. I didn’t notice anything alarming about the mechanics of your writing that has to be mentioned in here.

Technique: - 7 Both of you have very well developed writing techniques for your characters. Even though this was Shyam’s first quest with Jame it seems like you’ve been writing with him for longer. Still he needs a little more work like any other character, but quite enjoyable.

Clarity: - 7 I never once had to re-read a sentence out of confusion. There were a few times when I wished they contained a bit more information about what was going on though. Sometimes scenes tended to jump around a bit, especially on Shyam’s part. Make sure you describe going from one action to another clearly enough for the reader.

Wild Card: - 7 Points to you two for taking something a typical and making it interesting and engaging to read.

Total: 75

Rewards:

Raelyse receives 2,800 experience! The enchantment to Raelyse’s rapier Lhustaril is also approved, though will need to further be approved of at the time of a level up.

Jame receives 750 experience and 200 GP!

[Letho]

EXP/GP added. Raelyse, welcome to the next level.