The Emerald Hind
08-15-07, 01:07 PM
I am writing up a solo for my character to get the "big story" started with her, one that will trigger subsequent solos and possibly a few open quests. For the most part, I'm happy with it, even though it's a rather common story that Kaia will be following.
Unfortunately, I have written myself into a hard spot. I'm trying to have as few holes in the story as possible, but, there is a huge one that's staring me right in the face as it's blocking the way to the story's conclusion. I really don't want to give too much detail about what's taking place, but, as much as I dislike it, I have to give away quite a bit to explain what's happening...
Kaia is being accused of two murders: the poisoning of Kaenso, the head of a powerful merchant family who is plagued by all the symptoms of old age; and the stabbing of another prominent family member in direct line of succession to the merchant's wealth. She is due for some family-style justice, but, by a bit of luck, a low-ranking member of the family, Hanse, has witnessed what really transpired and can speak out on her behalf. Unfortunately, he is without physical evidence, all thanks to my over thinking and desperate need not to have glaring plot holes. Instead of a few small ones, I now have one huge one.
So, this is the problem: The real killer is an extremely intelligent and crafty man and has killed Kaenso through years of slow poisoning. He accelerated the rate at which the merchant was poisoned when Kaia came into the family as Kaenso's personal healer, making it appear as if Kaia was responsible for the man's deteriorating health. This, along with many other problems that have arisen for Kaia, has sparked dissension within the family as most call for the girl to be removed and punished while others plea on her behalf. (There's an entire back story to all of this to give this facet of the story more depth, and make to more plausible.) The man then kills Kaeno and another prominent family member and implicates Kaia in order to remove her as competition upon hearing that the girl will be named heir to the merchant family's wealth, thus removing the killer from the line of succession.
Being intelligent, he does not keep the poison on his person, and slips it through the family's defenses in an indirect manner that is virtually untraceable, especially considering the serious lack in technology available to this particular folk. The person through whom he acquires the poison is considered mad at best, and he is very careful not to be seen meeting with the old woman. The only time he is ever seen with her is by Hanse and Kaia, at which point the killer tells them he is consulting her over a love spell (he's well known to be a hopeless romantic), and it is not immediately obvious that she is the killer's supplier.
Furthermore, the poison responsible for Kaenso' death were found amongst Kaia's belongings, and her knife was the one used to stab the other family member. Not only that, but the blood is on her hands, and she is "caught in the act" by the killer himself. Before all this, though, Kaia had come to suspect that Kaenso was being poisoned and did a bit of research into the matter, writing down some information about a few plants that match up with his symptoms, all of which are also found with her things, further implicating her. It's seen as evidence of her plotting against Kaenso, even though she made her worries known to the family: they think it's just an elaborate means by which to seem innocent. There are no records of any purchase of these poisons, or anything else that can be used as evidence against the killer. All that exists is what Hanse saw, and that can be written off as deep love and affection for Kaia.
So, this is what I need help in: how can Hanse possibly find evidence against the killer? He knows who the man is, and the killer doesn't know that anyone but himself knows whose responsible. Kaia is ignorant of the truth until Hanse educates her on the matter. I can always say that Hanse goes to the old woman on a whim and bribes her into speaking on Kaia's behalf, but the whole family thinks she's crazy, which she is. However, she could even tell Hanse about some handy powder that sticks to the flesh of any person who has handled the poison, as the resin remains on the body for some time. That just seems too convenient, though, and I'm afraid that it won't work.
And before anyone suggests this, no, I can't have Hanse sneak Kaia away from the family cells (she's being detained in a sort of family owned prison), as I want the story to end with Kaia in the family's good graces. Her escaping and coming back to threaten and/or kill the real killer is not at all how Kaia would go about things. Nor would she simply run off with her reputation ruined with what can possibly be the only blood ties she has left in the world. That, and they're rich, and money-minded Kaia will most definitely want a piece of that wealth.
I don't know if anyone really can help me with this, but if anyone has any suggestions, please, give them! It would be immensely appreciated.
Unfortunately, I have written myself into a hard spot. I'm trying to have as few holes in the story as possible, but, there is a huge one that's staring me right in the face as it's blocking the way to the story's conclusion. I really don't want to give too much detail about what's taking place, but, as much as I dislike it, I have to give away quite a bit to explain what's happening...
Kaia is being accused of two murders: the poisoning of Kaenso, the head of a powerful merchant family who is plagued by all the symptoms of old age; and the stabbing of another prominent family member in direct line of succession to the merchant's wealth. She is due for some family-style justice, but, by a bit of luck, a low-ranking member of the family, Hanse, has witnessed what really transpired and can speak out on her behalf. Unfortunately, he is without physical evidence, all thanks to my over thinking and desperate need not to have glaring plot holes. Instead of a few small ones, I now have one huge one.
So, this is the problem: The real killer is an extremely intelligent and crafty man and has killed Kaenso through years of slow poisoning. He accelerated the rate at which the merchant was poisoned when Kaia came into the family as Kaenso's personal healer, making it appear as if Kaia was responsible for the man's deteriorating health. This, along with many other problems that have arisen for Kaia, has sparked dissension within the family as most call for the girl to be removed and punished while others plea on her behalf. (There's an entire back story to all of this to give this facet of the story more depth, and make to more plausible.) The man then kills Kaeno and another prominent family member and implicates Kaia in order to remove her as competition upon hearing that the girl will be named heir to the merchant family's wealth, thus removing the killer from the line of succession.
Being intelligent, he does not keep the poison on his person, and slips it through the family's defenses in an indirect manner that is virtually untraceable, especially considering the serious lack in technology available to this particular folk. The person through whom he acquires the poison is considered mad at best, and he is very careful not to be seen meeting with the old woman. The only time he is ever seen with her is by Hanse and Kaia, at which point the killer tells them he is consulting her over a love spell (he's well known to be a hopeless romantic), and it is not immediately obvious that she is the killer's supplier.
Furthermore, the poison responsible for Kaenso' death were found amongst Kaia's belongings, and her knife was the one used to stab the other family member. Not only that, but the blood is on her hands, and she is "caught in the act" by the killer himself. Before all this, though, Kaia had come to suspect that Kaenso was being poisoned and did a bit of research into the matter, writing down some information about a few plants that match up with his symptoms, all of which are also found with her things, further implicating her. It's seen as evidence of her plotting against Kaenso, even though she made her worries known to the family: they think it's just an elaborate means by which to seem innocent. There are no records of any purchase of these poisons, or anything else that can be used as evidence against the killer. All that exists is what Hanse saw, and that can be written off as deep love and affection for Kaia.
So, this is what I need help in: how can Hanse possibly find evidence against the killer? He knows who the man is, and the killer doesn't know that anyone but himself knows whose responsible. Kaia is ignorant of the truth until Hanse educates her on the matter. I can always say that Hanse goes to the old woman on a whim and bribes her into speaking on Kaia's behalf, but the whole family thinks she's crazy, which she is. However, she could even tell Hanse about some handy powder that sticks to the flesh of any person who has handled the poison, as the resin remains on the body for some time. That just seems too convenient, though, and I'm afraid that it won't work.
And before anyone suggests this, no, I can't have Hanse sneak Kaia away from the family cells (she's being detained in a sort of family owned prison), as I want the story to end with Kaia in the family's good graces. Her escaping and coming back to threaten and/or kill the real killer is not at all how Kaia would go about things. Nor would she simply run off with her reputation ruined with what can possibly be the only blood ties she has left in the world. That, and they're rich, and money-minded Kaia will most definitely want a piece of that wealth.
I don't know if anyone really can help me with this, but if anyone has any suggestions, please, give them! It would be immensely appreciated.