Darkness Within...

[Zook Murnig]

Caduceus lay in his bed, flat on his back. His legs were crossed at the ankles, right over left, and his hands rested on his abdomen, left over right. His room was a simple one, a bookcase in the corner and a window beside, and then his unadorned bed. It was deep night, as could be seen from the pitch black outside, and yet the magician was not asleep.

"Perhaps you ought to look into skrying someday. It could prove useful, and will lead to higher magic."

Keyei had said those words over a month and a half ago, and yet they rang clearly in his mind still. Skrying in the Spirit Vision. That is what Regardie had called it in his notes. Chic had simply referred to it as Astral Projection.

Caduceus breathed slowly, relaxing his body and mind. I am ready, he thought. I have prepared myself for this. All the correct seals are in place.

Over the past month, he had researched, and placed, every seal, sigil, and symbol of protection he could find all around the room, though they remained unseen. He had drawn them astrally, making the marks with the surrounding elements. The Qaballistic Cross of Light at the door; Metatron's Cube over his bed; the Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram over the whole room; and many more. He was truly prepared his his excursion into the higher realms.

He continued his relaxation exercises, coming closer and closer to sleep. His body slowed, his mind began to dull, and yet he held himself back. Ain Soph, guide the light into me, he prayed, calling upon the Etheric Sight before he slipped into the ether itself. To go blindly into that plane was to go to your doom.

His vision buffered, he continued his descent into the lightest realm of sleep. Just before becoming unconscious, he uttered the angelic name, "Sandalphon." As he called out to the archangel of the astral, his consciousness latched onto the slippery slope of slumber, pulling himself spiritually upwards, and launching his mind into the path of Tau, leading to the Sephirah Yesod, where his goal lay.

And yet he hesitated, knowing the dangers he faced. The first trip was always the worst.

[Zook Murnig]

Thick purple darkness everywhere. A drowning sensation overcame the traveler, and a feeling of claustrophobia. Far above, a point of silvery light shone, and all around there was only darkness. The magician sensed that his salvation would be in that tiny speck of light, as distant as it was.

The astral fluid shifted slowly, but constantly, around, pulling Caduceus away from the light above. He floundered, swinging his arms and legs about sluggishly, trying to pull himself up like a child first learning to swim. I'll drown! his lower mind screamed, panicking. I must get to the light.

Despite his rapid and frantic movements, he did not seem to go anywhere. Then the thinking mind awakened, taking control. Pull yourself together, Cad! he mentally chastised himself. Knowing his random movements were of no use, he tried coordinating his kicking feet and pulling arms to no avail.

Eventually, he gave up this forced movement, as physical movement would not aid him here. The astral, he began to reason. Realm of dreams. Realm of thoughts. Mastered by intent. That was it! He must not push and pull himself up, but rather use the force of his will!

UP! he mentally commanded.

With a sudden flash... nothing happened. Then, slowly, he began to rise, though the dark matter pushed and pulled at him still, squeezing his body with all its force.

[Zook Murnig]

Ascent through the lower astral was a slow, steady process. He continued to make mental commands, directing himself away from thicker areas of the ethereal broth, but always up. The silver light shone ever-so-slightly brighter, but still, he knew he was coming closer. That was all the assurance the young magician needed.

UP!

A quick flash, then a slight acceleration of his movement. This has been relatively pleasant, so far, he thought, a slight tinge of paranoia tainting his thoughts. It shouldn't be this easy.

Then, just as he had finished the thought, as if on cue, he felt a push against his back, more forceful than the shifting liquid. What in the world? the Qaballist thought. What was that? He willed himself to turn slightly, and as he came around, a bright blue claw raked across his chest.

Caduceus screamed soundlessly in mental agony. Then, regaining his mental capacity, he focused his etheric sight more strongly, discerning a group of spectral creatures floating towards him.

They were bright blue, as if they radiated a sinister light of their own. Three spindly arms came off of a bloated torso, ending in four-fingered claws. A single tail came off of the bottom, covered in gross hair that seemed to refract their inner lights sickeningly. Then there was the head, off the top of the blob-like torso. Three glowing red eyes, with horizontally slit pupils, gazed emotionlessly at him, with a toothy maw below pulled in a wide grin.

Astral demons! he thought, recognizing the ghastly figures on sight. I am an intruder into their realm.

Still, even knowing this, the magician could not allow them to kill him astrally, sending him straight back into his body to awaken in extreme pain, and with some serious mental problems. His old master back home, Chic, had warned him of the dangers of such attacks, telling tales of astral travelers who had been struck down in the mental realm by these demons and others like them. They had awoken screaming in unbearable pain, and when they were done, they always had some difficulty. Some could not speak, others no longer remembered how to read or write. Some poor souls had been struck down so hard that they were permanently disabled in every way, a mere shell of what they once were.

Knowing from his readings that he needed no divine names or ritual to use his magic in the ether, he mentally pulled the Air energy, Vayu, towards him, and thrust it out at his attacker, pushing it away.

UP!!! he commanded more strongly than before, moving towards the light above.

The beasts did not give up so easily, however, taking up the chase, and rapidly gaining on the Qaballist. A claw wrapped around his right ankle, pulling him down.

You have intruded into our domain, magician, the demon said. You know the punishment for your trespassing against us. As he finished, its fanged mouth grinned wider, and opened slightly for a thin forked tongue to snake out.

[Zook Murnig]

Ain Soph, aid me. Give me strength.

Caduceus knew he stood no chance against this many of the demons. One, maybe, but not a whole troop of them. It was with this knowledge in mind that he began to gather the Water energy of Apas, seeing it flow into him as a dark blue mist. He felt the now-familiar chill rush through him, and he let out an involuntary shiver.

I must get this thing off of me, he thought. It was with this intent that he flexed his will into the Apas, forcing it out to act on the aberration. The dark fog concentrated around the thing's wrist, glowing darkly for an instant.

The magician was stunned as a horrifying mental scream pierced every part of his body. The beast recoiled as freezing cold gripped its limb. The bright blue light of its body turned fiery red around the wound, and the creature growled mentally at its prey. Very brave, magician. Very brave, and very foolish.

With renewed vigor, the astral demon charged at Caduceus, its fellows quickly following suit, their bloated snake-like tails flicking back and forth as they advanced. The monsters surrounded the magician in an instant, all taking hold of him at once, pulling him this way and that in their frenzy.

Then a single beastly claw raked across his face. A blast of pain wracked the Qaballist's frame as an image entered into his mind of that which every mortal fears.

[Zook Murnig]

Into his mind a scene came, forcing its way to the forefront of his consciousness.

A robed form lay limp on cold brown earth, a dark stain in the cloth over the abdomen. Its skin was light in shade, and the hair atop its head was a light brown, tied at the nape of it neck. A piercing, but empty gaze could be seen in the round, black pupils of its blue-grey eyes, and bright red blood trailed from the corner of the mouth.

A young woman lay over him, though seemingly in the background despite her position in the scene. All that could be seen of her was the tears falling from her eyes, dripping off her cheeks and chin onto the dead man's chest.

A sense of despair emanated from the woman, and a sudden realization came over the magician.

This is my body, lying dead on the ground. This is my future.

[Zook Murnig]

The scene having been played out, the young Qaballist's consciousness returned to the astral, and the dilemma at hand.

Did you enjoy the view, magician? one of the demons clawing at him goaded.

It cannot be real. A trick of the demons', it must be! he rationalized.

That is the fate that awaits you, dabbler, chided another.

No! It cannot be! It's a mind-game!

It is no trick. That is what awaits you, foolish youngling.

No...

Hopelessness and despair washed over him, and even his struggles to break free from the grapples of his antagonists became feeble and half-hearted. Nothing I do can change this destiny. I will fail in my chosen path, bringing despair over those who cared about me, and disappointing all who believed in my ability.

A gleaming blue claw lashed out against his chest. Another blow came to his neck. Another and another, his will to survive diminishing with each strike.

Dead, all alone. None will mourn you.

No. That wasn't right, he thought. The woman. I was not alone. I was mourned. Her tears...

Realization came over the magician. The demons know nothing of what they show. They can only guess.

This knowledge instilled greater confidence in the man. Though he knew himself to be helpless against fate, he could still carry on until his time came, doing the best he could.

Demons, release me! You have no power over my fate, and no power over me, he proclaimed, full of renewed confidence.

He summoned for the Vayu, Air energy, swirling it around himself to create a whirlwind of pale blue fog. Finally, once all the demons had been forced out of reach, he released the energies in a blast of astral wind in all directions.

[Zook Murnig]

Pale glowing bodies flew everywhere, thrown great distances by the force of the magician's will. Tails lashed and arms flailed as the demons tried with all their strength to resist the azure gusts and return to the feeding frenzy. In the middle of it all, Caduceus floated, his arms cast out to either side, and his eyes closed in concentration and prayer. When the demons had been cast as far away as could be managed, the magician opened his blue-grey eyes.

The deep purple fluid of the astral flowed and shifted around him, and he saw above him, less distant than before, an orb of silver light. I have to get there before the demons return, he determined, knowing that the beasts' hunger had not been abated. Rather he had fueled it with anger and a thirst for vengeance.

UP!!! he called, and with a flash he continued his journey. The gelatinous matter of the astral pushed and pulled against him as he rose, but rise he did regardless of such forces.

How was it that I repelled the creatures? he wondered, thinking back to the Air manipulations that freed him. I will have to remember it in case I need it again.

[Zook Murnig]

Hours, days, weeks-- none seemed to be evident in the realm of the Ether. As far as the magician knew, or cared, no time had passed at all. All Caduceus thought of was reaching his destination, that singular point of light, both far above and close at hand.

On occasion a lost soul would reach out towards him, especially as he rose higher into the realm, where spiritual energy was at a premium. The Qaballist did not fear them, however, knowing these skeletal specters could not harm him as the astral demons had. Rather, they longed to feel the living and remember the world they had left behind so long ago.

Remembering his studies of the Astral, Caduceus presented each group of specters with the signs of the various elements, indicating a need for guidance to Yesod. Most looked upon him in confusion or fear, recognizing him suddenly as a magician. A few, however -- likely, magicians themselves in lives long past -- accompanied him in a ghostly parade toward the silvery light above.

The Qaballist and his guardians floated higher and higher, and a structure of sorts became apparent in the gloom. A gateway constructed of pure amethyst, and knobs that shone with the same silvery light he had seen all along his journey, and the astral matter around the portal seemed to radiate and cast outward the light in all directions. Carved into the face of the door was a large crescent moon. Luna. Dead and yet still living, creative and destructive. Attributed to the Drowned God, Draconus of the Thayne.

Caduceus prepared himself for the opening, remembering the phrases and divine names to be uttered, all the while his honor guard shied away from the silver glow, as if fearful it might destroy them entirely. He moved into the midst of the glow, coming up just before the crescent in the massive door, placing his palms upon it and closing his eyes in prayer.

Anima Mundi, Soul of the World, in the name of Gabriel, archangel of the Kerubim, I command passage from the path of Tau into Yesod, the Foundation of the ancient Tree of Life, that I may be closer to the holy light of Ain Soph Aur. I speak your great name, Shaddai El Chai, and you will answer!

The whole of creation became a blast of light, and Caduceus was no longer floating in front of a door of amethyst.

He heard a voice familiar in every way, but foreign hearing it from this new source. "At last we meet, magician."

[Zook Murnig]

It was as if he were looking in a mirror. The same pale skin and light brown hair pulled back against the nape of the neck. Even the clothing matched. The only sign that this was not him was in the eyes. The familiar piercing gaze of his blue-grey eyes was absent, replaced by the mockery's blood red orbs, only marred by asymmetrical pupils of white.

Caduceus glanced around. The ground was sandy, with areas of obvious moisture creating dark splotches. Low, dark clouds roiled overhead. Between the magician and his doppelganger stood a pair of narrow, square towers, capped with a pyramid each. The left tower appeared to be formed from pure obsidian, the right of the palest marble the young man had ever seen. The ground between the pillars was marked with what appeared to be a summoning circle, with Caduceus and the other standing on opposite edges.

"I've waited a long time, Grimaldi, but here we are. You have at last come to face what lies within you," said the strange man. "Too bad you will never survive to learn anything from this encounter."

Face what lies within me? pondered the magician. What in the many names of God is he talking about? Why have I not awakened? What is this place? Caduceus' mind reeled, taking in the situation, wracking his brain for anything he had read or heard about anything like this. Only one thing about this place seemed familiar to him: the towers. The Pillars of Mercy and Severity. But where was the Middle Pillar, the fine line tread by a true magician, between light and darkness?

Finally, he decided on a single question he hoped would explain more than any other. "Who or what are you?" the Qaballist demanded, glaring at this copycat before him.

"I am you. I am the Qlippoth. I am everything dark within you which you have refused to face or acknowledge until now. You seek to ascend the Tree of Life, but a tree has many branches. The magician walks the trunk, the most perilous path of all, because he refuses to choose between the two paths set out for all others.

"While you call yourself a magician, you refuse to believe in any darkness within you, assuming yourself to be of light only. Dark means may be the best path to light ends, and the road to the Abyss is paved with good intentions. You do not accept this, however. In so doing, you have forced yourself into two parts. You. And me. Only one can exist from now on, however, as you have ascended to the Foundation, out of the Kingdom, Malkuth."

Realization washed over the magician, immediately followed by fear. A demonic grin spread across the Qlippoth's mocking face.

"I will destroy you, Caduceus Grimaldi of Hearthwood, apprentice of Chic Cicero and student of Tel'Han. And I will be free of this prison." With that, the demon thrust his hands out toward Caduceus, a gout of black flame shooting from his palms at the magician.

[Zook Murnig]

Caught completely unprepared, the magician's only option was to dive to the side and hope the Qlippoth wouldn't immediately fire another blast while he was down. He hit the sandy ground hard, forcing most of the air from his lungs. Thinking quickly, he closed his eyes in prayer for a moment and called out to the Prithivi energies of Earth. "Adonai ha-Aretz," he intoned, calling up a small amount of the sand around him to shield him from the next blast while he got back on his feet.

A thunderous noise rang out as black flame exploded against the hastily summoned cover, blowing it to pieces. By the time the sand had settled, however, the magician was already gathering Air energies within himself and gesticulating in his spellcasting. "Shaddai El Chai," he muttered and the demon stumbled forward as a focused gust of wind hit him in the small of his back, denying him the focus necessary to loose another bolt of magic.

"Well, played magician. I had hoped this would be interesting." The fiend chuckled as his hands went through arcane motions before he closed his eyes in focus, muttering something under his breath.

The air around Caduceus' chest grew suddenly chill, the moisture in his skin solidifying into ice and his robes stiffening with the cold. He doubled over with the pain, screaming as the ice tore open his pores. Almost on instinct, he called on the Tejas energy of Fire to fill him with its warmth, halting the effects of the spell. He'd done it so many times before just to ward off the chill of the Comb Mountains, he didn't even need to think about it. Still, it amazed him that even in such a dire situation, he could summon the will required. Turning the gathered energy to his advantage, he stood up straight again, blood seeping through the cloth of his robes. His fingers flew through the air, drawing a five-pointed star as he intoned the divine name, "Yod-Heh-Vav-Heh Tzabaoth."

A bolt of fire shot from his outstretched palm, followed by a second bolt from the other. Neither one flew toward the Qlippoth, but rather towards each of the pillars. Knowing the resonance of magic within a summoning circle, Caduceus had planned to charge it with magical energy -- for what, though, he had no idea.

The fireballs became absorbed into the pillars, with motes of energy quickly flowing down into the circle. The sigils began to glow in a rainbow of hues with the mystical forces suffusing them.

The Qlippoth's unblinking eyes grew wide and he began muttering and waving his hands frantically through the arcane gestures.

"Shaddai El Chai," said the young Qaballist as he gathered Vayu and made a second push against the demon, forcing the creature into the center of the circle. In a panic, the demon screamed indecipherably, its voice becoming like the screeching of metal on metal, flinging bolts of black flame at Caduceus, trying to break the chain of spells.

The effort was pointless, however, as the theurge redirected the Prithivi he had gathered towards his own defense, summoning a wall of mud and sand to block the attacks. He continued to draw in the Earth energy, recasting the spell to form a tightly packed mass of mud around his foe, restricting its mobility, preventing it from further counterspell attempts.

Unbidden, words of power which Caduceus had no recognition of flowed into his mind. The magician walked calmly into the circle, between the pillars, to where the fiend was trapped. In a rasping voice that he did not recognize, the words flowed from his lips. "Edin nau tsu. EDIN NAU TSU!!!"

[Zook Murnig]

Caduceus reached out to the Qlippoth and, upon touching its exposed face, blinding light sprang from his fingertips to engulf the beast. The light expanded and grew into an unending pillar, piercing the grey clouds above before fading to reveal a third tower, taller than the other two, of pure gold laced with veins of silver sculpted to resemble vines running up the obelisk.

Moments later, the theurge's eyes flew open as he awakened in his room back in Tel'Han. His entire body was wet with a cold sweat, and his robes were soaked in blood where his chest had bled. He resolved to wash himself and tend his wounds before they became infected, though he was baffled as to how the wounds had carried over into his physical form.

He found when he stripped to clean himself, to his further surprise, that a mark of a shining silver crescent moon had appeared on him, just an inch above his groin, marking him as a magician of the Zelator order. He smiled at the reminder of his success.

Still, the events in Yesod weighed heavily on him, particularly the unbidden phrase.

"Edin nau tsu..."

Spoils: Unlocked Astral Projection- Caduceus, having traversed the path of Tau and attained the Zelator grade, is capable of projecting his mind across the planes into the Astral. He cannot yet communicate with material beings in this form, but he can observe. Anything that happens to his astral body will likely happen to his physical body.

[Karuka]

Right, if you have any questions, you know how to get in touch.

Continuity: 6 I know why Cadu is doing this, but not anything that brought him thus far, nor do I get a hint at where he's going next.

Pacing: 5 This was way too rushed. Everything happened too fast and too easily. Take more time with the story, and it'll help you in other areas, like action.

Setting: 8 I had just about enough detail without it cluttering the thread, but you tended to put all the sensory details in clumps, rather than pertinent details as he interacted with them. Some tactile detail wouldn't be bad, either.

Persona: 4 I don't know Cadu any better at the end of the thread than I did at the beginning.

Action: 6 It made sense. I think. I don't understand all the Qabal-specific words, so I don't know if -everything- was right.

Dialogue: 7 A little flat, a little cliche, but solid and it made sense.

Mechanics: 9 Pretty good, but you misuse reflexive pronouns.

Technique: 5 I didn't see anything special, although it isn't too often that you see a thread in dream land.

Clarity: 6 Take some time to make sure your reader knows what you mean. Who is Regardie? What is the Path of Tau, what does Zelator mean? You're using a lot of philosophy-specific, non-standard words and not bothering to make them clear to someone who is not familiar with Quabbalah.

Wild Card: 6 Not bad for shaking off the rust. It's good to see you back in the game.

Spoils:

Zook Murnig gets 940 EXP, 120 GP, and his Astral Projection.

[Letho]

EXP/GP added.