Unto the broke, unto the cynical

[Caden Law]

I took a few liberties with Scara Brae; mostly by putting a Bazaar in it (the location isn't mentioned anywhere that I've looked so far). Everything else was a mix of comedy and local flavor. Incidentally, I don't know if the F-word and a bit of druggie humor counts as Mature Content. Sorry if anyone's upset D:

Welcome to the City of a Thousand Journeys!

That's what headlined the brochure Caden was handed as he stepped off the ramp and onto one of Scara Brae's innumerable docks -- specifically the one that stank of fish and cheap passages from worse places. Which probably sums up about half or more of them anyway. The sun was shining overhead, its crisp light punching defiant holes in the clouds gathering beneath it. Everything had a layer of cold, clammy humidity, and everywhere was a chorus of smiling faces and not-exactly-beautiful faces. Several of said faces were missing things, like chunks of noses, one or both eyes, and plenty of teeth.

Caden glanced up from the brochure and took it all in with the kind of culture shock that always hit him when going from places defined as OH GOD(S) GET ME OUT OF HERE to ...can I change my underwear now? Please? Thanks! He considered it all; from the token wenches who managed to look a quarter-way respectable as they plied their trades, to the bitter old men trying to keep food on the table and beer in their guts. Everyone was smiling. They all had their own stories, their own miseries, their own lives, and they were all smiling. Caden considered this most of all. Quietly, and only in that shadowy little part of his brain reserved for such things, he thought to himself...

Are these people drugged out of their minds, or just under a geas?

He thought about it some. Shrugged. Pointed a finger, went something like eeny meany miny... and then put this theory to the test.

"Fuck you!" he shouted.

"Fuck you too!" someone else shouted back, and actually sounded joyous about it.

Caden nodded with satisfaction. Just drugs.

----



Looking for gear to start your next adventure?
Be sure to visit the Bazaar
...for all your questing needs!
Outfitters not responsible for self-injury of any sort, up to and including lost genitals, organs, flesh, freedom, sanity, or souls.

This is one of about three hundred ads littered through the brochure. Caden read it. Read it again. Then a third time just to make sure it sank in right and he wasn't reading an advertisement for a black market of doom. The brochure came with a sort of coupon; the kind that's been slapped together with bargain-rate magic for the purpose of sinking a hook into someone's interests. A 300 Special, the brochure identified it; Scara Brae's 'gift' to first time visiters. It'd expire in a month if he didn't use it.

He read the Bazaar's ad one more time.

"...what could possibly go wrong?" Caden wondered aloud.

----

About two hours and a five-finger discount on a hot dog later (Caden didn't stop to think about what was in said hot dog, because such thoughts are generally conductive of vomiting), he arrived in the general region of the Bazaar. Caden could tell it was a Bazaar because it basically looked like a great big black market with bad music blaring in the background and a smell between gunpowder, shit, molten metal, burnt wood, more shit, and at least two people were running around with vendor-trays more or less bolted to their bodies.

Business is rough in some places. Scara Brae marketed itself nicely, but it was like any glorified tourist town: Take you for a ride and not let you off until you're hard in debt.

Caution in mind, Caden tucked the brochure into his signature blue longcoat, then sighed. Because you have to sigh in a situation like this. It makes the smell a little less noticeable. He strode forward, hardly hidden by any stretch of the imagination -- except maybe the backwards twist variety. People only missed Caden if they were trying to ignore him out of embarrassment.

He went perusing the marketplaces, and what was he looking for, you ask?

"A bowie knife, a scalpel...and've you guys got hallways for hotdogs?" Pause. "...that totally didn't sound like what I meant it to, did it?"

Let the bargain hunting begin!

[Moonlit Raven]

Elena stood under the shelter of the cloth of her stall and silently cursing the monthly trips she made to the near by island of Scara Brae. As she fiddled with the few lesser quality knives on display, a mental clock ticked down in the back of her head. Counting down the the week until she could return to her shops in Corone. For a moment she considered bringing the blades of better quality up into view of the passing people.

"If you laugh at me one more time I'll have you up here waiting to help customers. You wouldn't be able to use your pheromones to draw in people, either." Elena hissed at the quiet chuckled that drifted to her from the back of the stall. She nodded to herself when the soft laughter abruptly stopped. Yeah, I didn't think you would want to help me out. After all what good are the Moontae for if they can't sex up something or screw someone senseless ? Elena grinned at the derisive thought about her guardians.

The sight of blue cloth caught her attention for a moment. Elena looked over the man, careful to not get caught. Experience had taught her that getting caught looking at a male of any race often caused more trouble than it was worth. After a moment she frowned slightly puzzled. Elena wondered what the guy was doing in this place. Normally dodgy, drugged or adventure crazed men and women ventured here. Must be a tourist. She concluded after a moment.

Here goes my good deed for the day. Elena though as she brushed pieces of airborne leaves off of the red silk of her dress.

"Sir!' She called out to the man. 'Can I help you look for something or direct you to a stall that you might find of interest?"

[Caden Law]

Thanks!

Listen very, very closely, and while we're at it let's set up a little heart monitor behind the Fourth Wall. Yes. Look at how steady Caden's heart rate is. A little frantic, obviously, but try to ignore the fact that he's also prying his way out of one of about thirty or forty rampaging mobs of buyers and sellers right now.

"Sir!" Note the heart rate as it skipped up a little higher. "Can I help you look for something or direct you to a stall that you might find of interest?"

It is at this point that Caden, looking rather harassed and a little bruised and with his usual unnerving pleasantness, finally shoved his way free of the human(oid) tide and stumbled up to Elena's stall. He almost smacked right into her counter, stopping only by virtue of good reflexes and sturdy arms. Then he jarred upright and, in the span of about two eyeblinks, gave her a once over that tried to go untempered by cynicism.

What a cute little mother-to-b-- Here is where you'll notice Caden's heart skipping a beat or two; he just looked into her eyes. His breath hitched hard enough that it resulted in something like a neuron traffic jam with gang violence involved. She's...seen things, he thought with a relative quickness, for lack of better words to use. This from a man who spoke numerous languages and had, himself, Seen Things.

It took him a split second to recover from that jarring bit of insight, and then he managed to get his usual unnerving smile back up and that was that. "You've got a good selection of knives, Madame," he was looking right over her to see them. Keep away from those eyes, instinct told him, They've got too many stories. He finally pried his hands from the countertop.

"I'd like to see a bowie knife and... Would you happen to have any scalpels too?" he asked, finally looking down and, with the usual Wizard's subtlety, looking her right between the eyes.

Hope I didn't go overboard with the eyes thing. Just trying to acknowledge your character's traits and all.

[Moonlit Raven]

Not a problem, most people ignore Elena's creepy side until she's mad and all vampy. They see only the hotness. ^_^

Elena arched a brow at the refusal to meet her gaze, she shrugged it off and pushed aside the memories of the villagers she had grown up among. Those too frighten by her inhuman sire to give a innocent child a chance to prove herself. To be honest with herself Elena wasn't sure if she should start laughing or be insulted. With a mental shrug she decided to choose the middle path, and plastered a pleasant smile on her face.

"I know for a fact that we carry bowie knives, the scalpel, I'll have to do a bit of digging in the stock we have with us. I'll be right back." Elena hurried off towards the curtained off area of her stall.

"I hear a male voice out there. Is he attractive?" Serraphiel asked as soon as Elena came into view. Elena waved dismissively at her and started digging in one of the packing crates most of the weapons were still in.

Serraphiel stared at the red silk covered butt that slowly waved through the air as Elena pulled weapons out of the crate and placed them on the floor in search of, something. She grinned and reached out, her hand lightly caressing the firm muscles under the silk.

Elena jumped at the unexpected touch then hissed at a stabbing pain in her hand. She looked down to see the very scalpel she searched for embedded firmly in the palm of her hand.

"So, is he cute?" Elena heard Serraphiel ask again. Elena stood up and yanked the scalpel from her palm.

"Since when do you care about attractiveness? I thought the Moontae would fuck any that lives." Elena grabbed a black cloth from the small table by Serraphiel as she swept by the stunned woman. She firmly wrapped her hand in the cloth after she wiped all traces of her blood from the small blade.

"It seems you are in luck sir. We did bring one scalpel with us." Elena greeted as she emerged from the back. She placed the scalpel on the counter then retrieved a bowie knife from the shelf hidden under the counter.

"Is this all you are looking for today?"

[Caden Law]

Caden waited with patience and calm, taking the time to remove his glasses and wipe some Essence of Scara Brae from each lense with a wrinkled old hankerchief. All the while, he listened. Caden couldn't hear them clearly, not over the hustle and bustle of the crowds outside, and hardly over the sound of his own breathing, but he heard enough to know there was someone else back there and a conversation was going on.

A full minute or so ticked by. Caden was (roughly, and only after some serious guesswork) able to conclude that the second voice was female. He heard a question or two, judged solely by tone as opposed to content. Then he considered himself in the reflection of a sword that happened to be hanging on one of the far walls of the booth.

Caden wasn't particularly handsome, just memorable. He was obviously Salvic and certainly from the far northern reaches of that region -- he spoke with no discernable accent, but you could still hear it in his voice and see it on his skin. He wasn't porcelain pale or white as snow or any other flattering adjective. He was pasty looking from a lack of sunlight. His hair was a mess even when only partially viewed from under the hat, and his fashion sense...well...he was a Wizard. A true blue pointy-hatted Wizard. About the only compliment you could give his appearance was that he looked smart.

...and out she came, breaking Caden's self-critique with the rustle of a curtain. He looked to the girl again, focusing squarely between her eyes only to give a quick look down. Most people who came through here would've asked about the wound on her hand. Maybe a few would gush over how much it had to hurt. Caden's mouth simply twitched a bit. "Hazardous job," he offered with what sounded about as close to sympathy as he normally gave people. "Thank you for putting up with the hassle of looking."

And that was that. Caden was a minimalist about these things. He took the knife and scalpel, one by one, and looked them over with a relatively experienced eye. "What would you say the craftsmanship is? And the price?" Pause. He put the items down and fumbled for words a little, butchering languages in a mumble as he did so. A rough Common translation of each phrase: "...vessel of unreality...hammerspace gateway...Akashiman prostitute...Dwarven beard...TARDIS...application of description theory...Ah!" Nod, nod. Try to ignore that little look of eureka! in his eyes.

"You wouldn't happen to have...I think they're called Bags of Holding here? Bigger inside than out," off went the Hat, and note the permanent hat-head left in its wake. Might've almost looked good if he grew it out a little. Caden promptly shoved his whole arm inside without causing so much as a wrinkle on the exterior -- something that should've been quite impossible. "A bag that can do this?"

[Moonlit Raven]

Elena nodded, glancing down at her hand, feeling the seeping of blood coming to a stop. She curled the fingers of that hand up to play with the cloth, gradually loosening it

"That it can be, luckily for me I'm, special. Give me a month and you'll never be able to tell that I had a blade stuck through the hand a minute or so ago.' She smiled.'Very useful ability."

Elena raised a brow at the unusual properties of the the man's hat. Mentally shaking the surprise and curiosity away she returned the the business at hand.

"The bowie knife is of average quality and is 60 gold. The scalpel is above average in craftsmanship, its cost is fifty gold. As for something like your, hat. I'm afraid we don't carry anything like that. You might want to try the synthesis shop that I have heard of in Dheathain. Perhaps they can help you create this 'bag of holding' you are looking for."



ROFL! I love your char. I'll be watching the adventures Caden goes through and expecting great things from him.

[Caden Law]

Thanks :D

As he was fitting his Hat back on, Caden merely nodded to her abilities of healing. Pleasant as he was trying to be, it came down to a simple fact of life he'd learned (often the hard way) during his travels: Everyone is special. Go into any given tavern and you'll spot lost monarchs, bardic legends and terrible demons of every sort. Heck -- Caden didn't know it, but this viewpoint was even further justified because he was speaking to a queen of some kind.

"I'll take both," he said, drawing out the old 300 Special and poking at it a bit. Magic sparked around his fingertip. "That'd be 110, yes?" Pop; out came the coinage. It spilled from the air just in front of the coupon, piling onto the counter with the unnatural perfection of civic magicks. 110 coins, basic denomination, the real deal. Caden stared at this rather dumbfoundedly, then mumbled, "Pity these things are probably tamper-proof."

He looked back to Elena while tucking the 300 Special back into his coat. "Erm...yes. I've heard of that place..." Twitch went the brows; considerations in progress. "You wouldn't happen to know somewhere I could get a plain burlap sack though, would you?" Because my last one was set on fire and eaten by a monster. It was big and ugly and had four dicks and it wasn't even male, he wisely left unsaid. But he was thinking it. Oh, Gods help him, the poor Wizard was thinking it.

[Moonlit Raven]

A brow rose at the sudden spill of coins onto the counter. Use to the convencing illusions of the Moontae Elena picked up one coin and waited for a moment. Once she established that the coins were indeed real and swept them carelessly aside in a pile to put away later.

Elena jumped slightly when a burlap sack landed on the counter beside her just after the man finished asking for one. Elena eyed the sack for a moment the glanced back at the room where Serraphiel hid. Someone doesn't want me to stay mad. Elena thought with just a hint of a smile.

"One burlap sack, as you asked for. The sack is 5 gold." Elena offered the man a sharp edged, genuine smile, one that was filled with more than a little amusement.

[Caden Law]

Caden looked up just in time to see the hand that threw the sack. In the way that men can, he studied that hand; the skin, each fingernail, how young or old it looked, how quickly it moved, how thin or thick and short or long the fingers were, the presence of jewelry...all these things, and more. There was a little bit of empty space around the hand, and his eyes traced up the length of the arm, and then...

The curtains shut.

Caden broke free of this reverie right as the sack hit the countertop, and that was that. Out came the now 190 Special. Skeptic and a little reserved, he poked it again. The card's magic sparked in kind, followed by a pling, a plang, a plink, a plunk and finally a twing! as the gold coins fell out of thin air to the countertop. It was much slower than the previous flood, but the currency was still the same: All real.

He looked up to the girl again, and met her square in the eyebrows this time. Know that chick's phone number? would've probably been the question asked if phones existed on this world. Instead, Caden merely smiled and said, "Pleasure doing business with you, Miss."

One by one, he took the knife, the scalpel, and the sack. Knife went, holster and all, onto his belt. The scalpel found itself secreted away somewhere in his clothing; hard to say where, with a Wizard's sleight of hand. The bag went flying over his shoulder, snapped tight with its strap against one of his fingers, and finally fell back down between his shoulderblades. With his free hand, he reached up and tipped his Hat.

"Have a good day, and take care," Caden said.

Then he turned and left, simple as that.

Thanks again! :)

EDIT: Oh, and do I post a character update for this? Sorry if it's a dumb question. DX

[Moonlit Raven]

Elena smiled and shook her head. She raised a hand and waved slightly.

"Have a good day sir. Watch out for the goolies out there."





Transaction complete. Caden Law loses 115 gold and gains 100 exp for good IC interactions. ( Char updates are to be done when the character levels up or if something big changes. Like a new ability learned.)