Not even god knows how a women thinks

[Rok the Blade]

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Abruptly he shouted out loud, "Lord grant me one wish."

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and the booming voice of the Lord said, "Because you have been faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish".

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. It is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I've been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing" and how I can make a woman truly happy"

After a few minutes God said, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"

Bwahahaha!

[Bullet Witch]

Lol how true. But if you want advice on women, you know to come to me buddy. :) ;)

[Reiko]

quite sexist but pretty funny^^

I'm glad it's a joke. I was worried about it being serious Mars and Venus BS.

[Rok the Blade]

Indeed it is sexist, I thought it was pretty funny though... Of course, I don't really believe that.

[Bullet Witch]

Nah, but sometimes it is hard for us men to really know how girls truly feel. But I don't know if that would be a blessing or a curse.... o.0

[Caden Law]

In the words of a 50-something female coworker of mine: Women don't know what women are thinking most of the time.

Make of that what you will. Me? I'm runnin' for a bunker, ASAP. >_>

[Empyrean]

Yeah, okay, we girls are strange creatures.
But I vote men are simultaneously easy to figure out and also the hardest thing in the world to understand. Fo sho.

[Rok the Blade]

Did you guys like that one?


An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He stated how hurricanes at times were given feminine names, and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she".

One of the students raised his hand and asked: "What gender is a computer?"

The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine.

Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

I take no credit for these, but they're clever and awesome.

[Bullet Witch]

Ouch. *winces* I've seen cases where both are true.