Light the Fires!(Open to All)

[Kaern]

Kaern sat upon a tall stone shard admiring the cold night and the motion of his prey far below slipping beneath the star light. His long hair blowing carelessly behind him as he sniffed the air. Goblins.

He watched the little bodies scuffle over the plain of stones and farther toward a still pool of water which from his vantage point reflected the clarity of a mirror against the sky above.

Ageless and silent as the stones he sat upon the large Orc savored the moment. The telltale gestures of the pitiless creatures, the trail of dull brown grass, the scurry of the burrowing gophers, the taste of their sweat in the wind; every nuance had meaning. When combined, Kaern could almost sense the burgoning crest of a perfect opportunity about to break.

As he was about to make his move a deep echoing sound began to rise from the pool below. The howling vibration grew louder and more disonant driving through his bones, teeth, into his skull. Even the stone around him no longer felt stable.

Suddenly as it came the sound stopped, leaving the warrior in a landscape of silence. He blinked, collecting himself. A massive plunging gap in the water was the final overwhelming crescendo to the madness, shooting geysers of water far above the dead plains below. Then silence reigned once more.
But there it was, the Cove was the same yet as his gaze passed over the "painting" two new brushstrokes so subtle he barely noticed them appeared, almost making him jump when he realised his find.
Something black, massive,wet and horrid layed above the surface of the pool now. Below it, the party of goblins had bowed in worship, crying horrible tributes to their dark god.

In a voice so loud it almost blotted out his vision called to him. Inside the Orc's skull the words.."COME" spoke as if the mouth had always been there, waiting years for the right moment to speak.

Kaern did not move, did not blink, did not breath. Then slowly he pounced towards his prey, landing behind the hunting party of goblins with a dull dusty thud. They did not turn to move, let alone acknowledge him.
Breathing hard Kaern moved between the small creatures towards the crystal waters.
The creature seemed to absorb light, so every time he thought he could make out it's features the light shifted and he was left with a grotesque wet silouette.

"What is it Creature? Have you come to finally meet the Void because I would gladly send you there."

The Orc's voice was deep yet husky, crackling and reverberating with hostility. Now he stood not two steps away from the monster, his toes touching the water's edge.

[Kaern]

The black mass of void stood taller screaming into his mind.

Images of humans burning and flayed scissored across his vision, branding his mind with more pain then he had experienced in the last ten years.
Skin layed open while the men still breathed, prolonged torture a never ending sea of amplified hate and sheer horror.

He knew what the creature wanted from him. A boon, a gift.. an offering.. In the form of human bondage and suffering. Almost passing out from the sheer magnitude and scope of the visions, Kaern managed to pull himself away and rolled down the stone beach until he lay at the foot of an patrol fifty goblins strong.

They looked at him blankly, as if waiting for some unseen clue yet delivered.
Kaern knew what they wanted. It was branded to his mind what they wanted.

Standing slowly he begin to move towards them, the goblins followed him like a school of fish, walking toward an hillside lit by fire light sunken into the silouette like a worn scar. Walking slowly and unsure of foot, he marched towards his doom or perhaps his destiny. The goblins jumped up beside him as he was an hero, or savior ready to save them from their oppressors. He smirked and laughed aloud drunk on the telepathic barage of hate. Nothing could be further from the truth... Nothing.

Kaern entered the goblin camp as a returning king, a cusp of a wave driven hard up onto the shore. Towering above a sea of goblins, he knew what their dark god wanted from him. He knew the taunt of the blood lust creeping through his veins. The promise of power unseen, of conquest and sastisfaction. It was all there layed out to him like a scroll tattooed onto the surface of his mind.

Goblins swarmed around him like a bee hive, awaiting his command as the extention of his own limbs.

Burn it.

Burn it to the ground.

Scara Brae would Burn.

Kaern shuttered at the thought.

[Wulfgang]

After traveling all day Wulfgang now looked down upon a magnificent city, but the look splayed upon his face was grim at best, for what he saw outside the city was a hoard of goblins assembling to attack Scara Brae. Wulfgang had hoped for a day of rest but now he found himself faced with a day of hard battle instead.
Wulfgang leaned over and patted Peregrinus on the head muttering "this is going to be an interesting fight my friend, interesting indeed". He concluded that it would be best to move closer for a better look and it seemed as he moved closer the crowd of goblins grew ever larger, until he finally noticed off to the side, and out of the ranks by a long shot an orc. He was not entirely sure but he thought that the orc was either a leader of siege or maybe someone who hated the goblins and wished to try and stop them. Without being sure Wulfgang dared not approach the creature but instead quietly snuck up behind him and pulled forth Canis Zhan, his two handed sword, and called out " You there ORC!! who are you and why are you here?". Wulfgang hoped the ruse would work.

[Wulfgang]

Wulfgang hastily made alterations to his plans, crouching behind and tree and quietly beginning to back away due to a quickly approaching band of goblins. He now had to assume that the enemy knew someone was on the outside, but he found himself with no choice in the matter. Wulfgang walked silently into some brush, all the while sending images to Peregrinus, his canine companion, depicting images of ways to cause havoc amongst the thick lines of goblins.

Wulfgang eventually concluded the best course of action would be to ambush small groups of approaching goblins, planning to strike quickly and escape without ever truly committing to battle. Thus Wulfgang began to quietly stalk through the forest, listening for any sounds of approaching creatures, which didnt take long considering the place was teeming with the horrid beasts.

Wulfgang and Peregrinus were soon hidden within bushes not far from the path the goblins seemed to have chose to travel upon. The pair sat patiently in the brush until the small troop of around ten had passed him by, and then crept out of the bushes and onto the path beginning a quiet charge toward the group. Peregrinus was the faster and reached the line first, passing the first few goblins, attracting their attention and attacking one of the grotesque creatures on the outer right of the group; jumping up and ripping at the hopeless creatures throat. This brought angry shouts from the viewers, which soon changed to cries of confusion. Wulfgang flew into the ranks with Canis Zhan, using heavy slashing blows, being sure to cause as much havoc as was possible in the short time before the creatures formed a defense. Peregrinus attacked another creature and dismissed it as quickly as the first, and Wulfgang's wide sweeping blows had claimed the lives of three of the grotesque beings; however the goblins were fast becoming aware of the dire danger around them and were beginning to form in a defensive circle, thus the battle was no longer worth the risk to the pair. Wulfgang had done something to the troop and the story among goblins would no doubt be over exaggerated, so Wulfgang and Peregrinus retreated from the battle, disappearing into the woods and diving into some heavy brush.

Wulfgang smiled, their work had just begun, but a darker thought was already entering his mind, "am I really making any difference in the tide of battle, or am I signing my own death warrant". Wulfgang quickly dismissed the thought, countering it with the reassurance that it was better to try to do something than to do nothing at all, even if it did mean his death, for at least he would die with honor on the battlefield. As soon as he was sure any danger of being found had passed Wulfgang cut down a sapling tree as big around as a wolf’s hind ankle and began to whittle a tip to it. He soon had a spear, though a crude one, it could be thrown easily enough and was sharp enough to pierce the thin flesh of goblins. Wulfgang smirked at the thought of his next encounter with another troop of the vile beings.

[Kaern]

Suddenly Kaern felt a burning sensation ripple through his body. It felt as though his fingers were being cut off, the flesh trimmed like a stunted tree meticulously and repeatedly.
His pupils dialated rapidly as he searched for the source of the pain. Far off in the distance he could feel the lifeforce of his army weaken. It was not his army, more like forty new limbs. He could feel them surge, rise and fall like the tide as they crossed the landscape ready for battle.
Goblins... how he hated goblins, and here he was knee deep in a legion of them, telepathically linked to follow his orders unto death.
Restraining the sudden urge to drive his entire army towards the source of the pain and blot it out, Kaern stepped towards the direction himself, quietly testing the boundaries on his mind, and the extent of his own mental freedom and seperation from these beasts and their hellspawn master.
As he pushed the mental connection away, he could feel it sending a tremor of fear and chaos through the hearts and minds of the vermin. Like the surge of a riot they would tear each other apart and him in a drunken cannibalistic rage. Their god did not mess around, he was the spearhead it's self of primal chaos. If he could not use these goblins, in all likely they would decend on the countryside like ravaged beasts instead of strong arms. There would be no easy way out.

Kaern stepped closer to the tree line, his telepathic link sensing a disturbance. With this dark vision, he saw the open wounds and severed limbs of his "fingers" like surges blue fire sprouting from their very puncture holes. The smell of blood made him hungry, and he stepped over the bodies peering into the tree line. There was something there, something ...else.

Suddenly a wave of terror breaching his mind like a flood smashed through his senses eminating from his temple and sinuses. It took almost all his mental strength to hold back the horde from tearing across those stone hills into the tree line to rid the area of these new lifeforces.
It was the mental equivilent of holding back the nervous reaction of an scorpion tail strike. They were filled with rage and hate, spilling over at the cusp.

Speaking to Wulfgang, his voice rang out in feral pain.
"If you be fool enough to stand here and face this horde, you will surely die. I.."
His voice faltered from the mental barrage.
"I do not know how long I can hold them back...."

Kaern wanted to purge them from his system, he wanted the Goblins out. He almost aimed them towards the human colonies and set them loose, just to push them out of his mind long enough to give him room to think.

He screamed out in a bloodcurtling voice.
"LEAVE NOW OR DIE."

The dark being pressed a black thumb into his mind, with such force that blood began to drip from his nose. He just wanted to let go, if only he could let go....

[Wulfgang]

Wulfgang was accustomed to receiving telepathic communication, though normally in the form of picture, he was aware of its existence and knew it took a creature of substantial intelligence to operate. Wulfgang felt the telepathy as only a small intrusion at first, very weak and almost non existance, however as seconds elapsed it grew progressively stronger until it was overwhelmingly so.

Wulfgang help his head and listened as the voice echoed throughout his mind, screaming at him "If you be fool enough to stand here and face this horde, you will surely die. I.."

Then the communication subsided for a second but quickly returned, finishing the sentence "I do not know how long I can hold them back...."

Then finally metally screaming into the barbarians mind, sending Wulfgang reeling to the ground in pain, "LEAVE NOW OR DIE."

Finally the other being began to release him from the mental grasp, but Wulfgang would not let it go that easily, though he did not know how to send words through telecommunication he found that had the ability, though it was far from a constant stream of words.

He opened the link and stated boldly “I’ll help---- you! I fear them not! Please allow---- me to assist--- you, give me your--- current position!” Wulfgang struggled for the link for a minute as a result of a squirrel leaping out of a tree and making a loud crash into the leaves below; this had startled him out of concentration and almost lost his link. Wulfgang quickly closed his eyes again and sent recovered the fading link saying “I CAN HELP!”

[Kaern]

Kaern pushed away the new voice, knowing that if he concentrated harder on the sensation his mind might just snap, letting the howling maw of goblinoids loose on the human. Yes it was a human, he sensed it, smelled it in the wind.
Cutting the voice off was all he could do to keep the newcomer safe.

Summoning all his courage and resolve the Orc made up his mind.

There was not strength enough inside of him to break the hold of his summons without shattering his mind in the process. He would lead the Goblin Horde towards the great colonies of the Humans.

Signalling his army, the Vanquisher shot them forth from his his mind like a sling.
Take the colonies, burn them to the ground.....

An onslaught of beasts tore across the plains of stone like a plague of rats. Bleak sounding horns billowed through the night air, the sound of knashing teeth and hundreds of tiny feet all driven in terror, filled with ravaging hunger for blood and death and murder. Their pupils were tiny, and their little goblin mouths hung wide open as if savoring a meal before finally devouring their victims.

They were possessed.

Kaern momentarily gave into the Hunger.
He screamed from the top of his lungs, twirling his Bladed Chainwip high above his head letting the blood lust and rage fill him and carry him till he kissed lady death herself and tasted warm blood between his lips this night.

The powerful Grey Orc ran amongst the extention of his own psyche, feeling the ripple of a sea of goblins move in rhythm with his own bodily shiver.
They were like hands. Clawed fingers that were about to rip a hunting lodge of humans towards the mouth and feed him.

Far off in the distance lay a wood cabin, faint trails of smoke climbed from it's chimney stock.

This would do.. they would be the first victims to fall this night. Torn asunder like a stampede.

Kaern continued screaming loudly, till his voice grew flat hoarse. His left hand was clenched before him as if to becon the destruction towards himself.
"Bring me their hearts, I want to feel the flesh beat between mine own hands before I extinguish their flames."

Riding the pain out, Kaern searched the back of his mind for any weakening of the dark god's link to his children. If perhaps he could drive them far enough away from the source, he could turn them, stop them or kill them all himself..

Only an animal could howl with such cold gutteral beastlike passion.
He did not truely scream for the slaughter, but for the guilt and the pain he was about to experience by exterminating these lives. No matter, a handful of humans was the least of the death planned this night. The mongrol's hate only applified his own, and it was very difficult to control. Deep down inside himself. he was aware of exactly what he was giving in to, and did not like it one bit..

[Wulfgang]

Wulfgang heard no telepathic reply, in fact, he felt the line break as soon as he stopped communicating. His mind whirred with confusion, trying to make sense of what was happening and wanting to learn the identity of the sender of the telepathy. The barbarian was dragged back into reality as a primal howl sounded from somewhere far off in the forest.

Wulfgang stood up, noticing a bizarre silence in the forest, the birds were not singing, the woodland creatures had ceased moving almost completely, the only sound was the bloodthirsty scream of goblins; An uneasy air had descended upon the entire area. The barbarian felt the uneasiness that permeated from the depths of lower planes of Chaos. He ran up a small hill and climbed the highest reaching tree atop it, looking around to see what the goblins were doing. The sight sent him into an outrage, his perch had granted him a perfect view of the goblins swarming a small cabin, burning it to the ground and no doubt mutilating the innocent people within.

Wulfgang stood atop a branch, his eyes burning like embers with the rage that had been evoked within him, He raised a fist into the air roaring with all his might “You will ALL DIE! ALL OF YOU! YOU HEAR ME? DO YOU!?”

Wulfgang climbed down the tree tall with amazing speed, while he was making his way down however he received an image of an approaching band of goblins, numbering about twelve. The Barbarian slowed his climb immediately, quietly descending until he was only fifteen feet off the ground. He watched as the band walked almost right underneath his tree.

Wulfgang quietly slid Canis Zhan from its sheath and then with a blood thirsty battle cry he leaped down into the crowd. He had landed on the ground, absorbing the impact with his powerful legs by bending his knees; however his swords impact was absorbed by cutting deep into the skull of goblin. Wulfgang quickly kicked the body off his sword and spun around, swinging his sword in a wide sweeping motion 360 degrees around himself. At the end of the sweep Wulfgang had extinguished the lives of four goblins. Peregrinus now joined in the chaos, attacking the confused goblins, ripping their throats free from their bodies and sending them stumbling to the ground gasping for breath that would not come.

Wulfgang looked into the eyes of the goblin, deep into the black soulless pit that stared back at him, and almost overswung his attack. The beasts are not normal goblins, but what could they be, why were their eyes black? These questions whirred in Wulfgangs mind.

He let one hand leave his sword to grab a spear, then kicking the opponent hard in the chest sending it flying backwards without its weapon. Wulfgang still possessing some advantage from the havoc he had caused did not even drop the spear to return to a fighting style, but instead stabbed the spear deep into another goblins chest and swinging his sword wildly with his right hand, if for nothing else to keep chaos. Wulfgang kneeled to dodge a thrust from another particularly ugly goblin and then counterattacked with a thrust of his own, the difference was that he did not miss, pushing Canis Zhan deep into the gut of the hideous creature.

Wulfgang glanced around to notice that all the goblins had been killed, however his rage satisfied and his thirst for goblin blood was far from quenched. Wulfgang cleaned off his blade and re-sheathed it, then went about searching the corpses for signs of who had sent them. After a long while of searching the barbarian gave up, no symbol of a leader, no tattoo, not the slightest hint. Wulf kicked a corpse hard, feeling a few ribs break under the blow, but this did nothing to alleviate his rage.

Wulfgang clenched his fists together and growled “Guess we will just have to kill all of you, or die amongst a pile of your corpses.”

Peregrinus howled, feeling the blood lust and enjoying the feeling, it too loved to kill goblins and looked forward to feeling more die under its powerful bite.

Wulfgang began to make his way toward the burning cabin, his eyes burning with flames of hatred.

[Wulfgang]

Wulfgang took long determined strides toward the blaze, making good time through the forest. Peregrinus ran ahead, acting as a scout and relaying messages to his master of any approaching goblin bands. Wulfgang thirsted for the blood of the unnatural beasts, and nothing would stop him from quenching that thirst. Canis Zhan remained in Wulfgangs hands, eager to see battle.

The two companions were soon near the blaze and Peregrinus relayed an image of thirty goblins standing around the burning house with five humans in their possession. Wulfgang quickly cut down another small sapling and whittled a tip to it. This spear would come to good use very soon.

Wulfgang crept up to a position nearly close enough to the squabbling goblin band to hurl the spear. The group seemed to be involved in a heated debate over who would be allowed to kill the humans. (yes fools, keep debating and none of you shall spill human blood!) Wulfgang thought privately. He finally edged his way into the crude spear’s throwing range.

Wulfgangs arm tensed as it lifted the spear into position, his body twisted slightly in preparation, and then like a rubber band under tension his body burst into sudden movement hurling the spear into a group of arguing goblins.

The spear hit its mark perfectly, lodging itself deep into the chest of one of the loudest creatures, dropping it dead. The other goblins seeing their companion fall were suddenly on their guard, looking nervously in the general direction of the spear. The creatures finding courage in numbers began to slowly approach the area where Wulfgang had been.

Using the dark to his advantage, as soon as the barbarian had loosed the spear he had moved away into a position to the right, hiding behind a tree and waited. Canis Zhan sat in his hands, awaiting the action eagerly. Peregrinus sat to the left, patiently waiting to cause havoc. The barbarian and sat quietly, until finally the torches of a small band of the goblins began to search the woods, nearing Wulfgang’s earlier position.

Peregrinus hid in some brush, finally spotting one goblin who had fallen behind, ambling along feeling safe behind the group. The canine burst into action, moving too quickly for the goblin to even react, Peregrinus leapt upon the goblins back and biting deep into the back of its neck, snapping its spinal column.

The goblin fell to the ground with a squeal and then became deathly silent. The other goblins turned, startled by the cry of their comrade, to see a large wolf spring off the fallen goblin and run off into the dark forest. The dim-witted creatures took chase, but little did they know, they would soon run past where Wulfgang had concealed himself.

Wulfgang watched from the shadows as the goblin party ran past him, he could have reached out and touched them if that had been his intent, however it was not. Wulfgang waited until the final stragglers began to scurry past his position, then he emerged from his concealment with a great sweeping strike, sending two of the beasts spinning to the ground while trying to hold their entrails inside their body with their hands. The third goblin hadn’t the time to stop and thus tripped over his bloodied screaming comrades, falling right onto the waiting Canis Zhan, who plunged deep into the monsters breast.

Wulfgang didn’t have any time to spare, the other goblins had turned in response to the screams and were now running back toward him. The Barbarian kicked the corpse off his blade and disappeared into the darkness roaring “You’re in my element now! My blades gunna slash every one o’ Yous!”

Peregrinus received a telepathic image of a few goblins dead and heard the goblin party turn around. The canine turned as well and charged to catch up with the monsters, eager for more havoc.

The goblins had forgotten completely about the wolf and were now chasing after a barbarian, they were twelve strong still and the others were coming to see what was taking the group so long, thus their confidence still held, even with four dead.

Peregrinus caught up to the last of the pack, who was a rather fat goblin huffing and puffing in an attempt to keep up with the leaders. It heard the canines approach and turned, but it was already too late, finding the wolf already descending upon him, knocking him to the ground and ripping him to shreds. The goblin party turned to the sound of the screams and came to a complete stop, suddenly not entirely sure that they wanted to be out here. Peregrinus ran off into the night, having claimed another life, but still fervent for more.

Wulfgang heard the goblins cease their chase, thus he stopped and stalked to the right, moving around the group and back to the blaze. He shuttered with rage when he finally got a view of the area where the humans had been held. The illumination from the burning house allowed Wulfgang to see the crimson liquid splattered on the ground and pooling under the no longer moving bodies of the people. He scolded himself for his tactics, feeling as though his actions had caused their doom, deep in his soul he knew it was inevitable but he still brought it upon himself.

“I should have done more! I should have charged in and cut their ties! My death would have been worth the escape of five innocents.” He thought, but he realized that even that action would not have promised the five a way out.

Wulfgang howled and lost all thought when he saw a group of goblins with still crimson spears. Peregrinus approached his master now and felt the rage, knowing what was coming.

Wulfgang released all tactical advantage, allowing his rage to overcome any sense, his legs carried him into the open toward the small group. “five, five, five, five, FIVE!” he howled, both the number of foes and number of innocents that had been slaughtered.

The goblins saw his enraged adventurers approach and were put on their heels by the fierce roars that he emitted. However two of the goblins still threw their spears at the large foe.

Wulfgang ducked one projectile and deflected the other with Canis Zhan, never slowing in the least. The spears only fed his rage, his pace quickened and he roared “DIE FOOLS!” The creatures, though outnumbering the foe five to one, not even noticing the wolf that followed the barbarian, turned and fled for their lives. Their feeble attempts did them no good, the barbarian easily outmatched their pace, catching up to each one and cutting them down, not slowing until he came to the last remaining beast. Wulfgang caught up to the creature, using his weapons unbelievable reach to hamstring it. The creature howled in pain and toppled over, impacting with the ground hard.

“Think you can run? YOU DIE NOW!” he howled on the edge of hysteria. The Barbarian stabbed his sword through the helpless creature’s neck and fell to his knees. Suddenly his senses returning to him as his blood thirst was quenched. Wulfgang drew his sword from its warm sheath, closing his eyes and calming himself. Almost immediately however he began to hear the loud noises of an approaching group of goblins, and by the sounds, it was big. Wulfgang realized now that he had run out into the open and gave chase to a small group amongst a pack of goblins, and now he suspected that well over thirty goblins had taken up the chase to catch the barbarian. He stood up and cleaned off his sword then sheathed it in its scabbard. There could be no victory here.

The Barbarian ran for over an hour before finding a tree with a large hollow that had been dug into a den for some animal or another to rest in through the winters. Wulfgang and Peregrinus took it for the night as a place to rest and hide.

Wulfgang curled up next to Peregrinus and slept, dreaming of slaying more goblins and the horrid image of dead innocents dying at the hands of the mindless brutes, he was determined to assist the city in need.

The next morning Wulfgang was awakened by the sounds of battle. He crawled out of the den and snuck toward the sounds. Peregrinus moved forward again as scout and sent Wulfgang back an image of a band of armored humans fighting some goblins.

Wulfgang drew forth Canis Zhan and charged through the forest to aid the warriors in their battle with the monsters. He came into a small clearing and saw a group of only twenty men fighting a large band of around twenty eight goblins. Many corpses already littered the ground both men and goblin alike.

Wulfgang tackled a small group of the ugly monsters, knocking them to the ground in a heap, however the Barbarian had managed to keep his footing and now stood over the fallen goblins. Canis Zhan fell heavily upon the prone creatures, slaying them quickly and efficiently. The barbarian turned around just in time to dodge a thrust from another goblin, which he promptly kicked in the chest, sending it flying to the ground, then pouncing upon and distributing a powerful thrust of his own.

The battle continued on for many minutes but the humans came out the victors, although only seven remained. Wulfgang approached the band but was immediately put on his heels when he heard “Who are you, you are no warrior of our town! LEAVE! Leave you bumbling brute before we kill you, your kind is not welcome! You are no better than the scum we just dismissed from this world.”

Wulfgang somewhat confused, stated “I am here to help, I could join you and help remove these cowardly beasts from your doorstep!” trying to keep his calm.

“We don’t want it, LEAVE before we slay you, pain and suffering is all your people know how to distribute and have troubled us much longer than these goblins, I will give you a chance to leave since you assisted us but do not doubt that my sword will cut your heart out if you do not leave IMMEDIATELY!” one of the men stated threateningly.

“WHAT, FINE! Die then I care not any longer! Fools” Wulfgang stated in rage.

He sheathed his sword and stalked away from the city to wonder the forest!



OOC: endpost, no one else is posting on this, no loot asked for

[Call me J]

This thread is one post and over 4,000 words short of meeting the minimum requirements for judging. However, since you did put some effort into this thread, I am going to give you some comments and some EXP. However, I am eschewing the traditional rubric in favor of a few comments for a few reasons. First, because of the way this thread was concluded and the inactivity of one of the members, the score would not be very flattering. Second, I don’t really feel the score would be indicative of the effort that was put into this thread, especially by Wulfgang. Third, I feel that the comments I give this way will be to your benefit more than a traditional judging, especially since Wulfgang has recently had two threads judged and many of the comments that Karuka and I made in those threads apply here. Anyways, here are my comments.

Kaern- Introducing a thread midway into action can be a very good thing, but be careful with the way you do it. If you’re going to start a thread going full throttle, you have to introduce me to your character during this initial action. This is where your character’s decisions, thoughts and words can help to say a lot about the person that your character is. You didn’t do a really good job of it here, so it’s something that you need to improve on for the future. Another issue you need to concentrate on is clarity. At times, it felt like you were so interested in cramming action into your thread that it was hard to understand what was going on. I love an action packed story, but you have to make sure that in the process of pacing your story well, you don’t lose clarity. With practice and effort, the two need not be diametrically opposed.

Wulfgang- This thread had a very dissatisfying ending, but I got the impression you were just trying to end it so that it could be over, not because it was a particularly good ending to the story. Otherwise, I don’t really have too many comments for you, other than that you really need to do a better job explaining your character’s motivations. Here it wasn’t clear that you really knew what motivated Wulfgang. He seemed to make decisions based on what was expedient to the plot instead of his personality. This was not a good thing. Your writing was fairly strong, it is mostly clear and there are no spelling errors, so you can afford to challenge yourself a bit more. Take these comments in addition to the comments from your solo quest and battle against Red Lightning and use them in your further posts. Best of luck to you, you have a bright future, it'll just take some time for you to reach it.

Spoils
Wulfgang gains 200 EXP and 50 GP
Kaern gains 100 EXP and 50 GP

[Karuka]

EXP/GP added!