Ghoul versus Teddy. ((Lorenor versus Sasorick))

[Mutant_Lorenor]

"How the hell did this happen to me?"

It was a simple thought really. The ghoul seriously wanted to know how he'd ended up in such a predicament. He wasn't sure exactly how it all happened but it all went back to that night he fought Joshua Cronen. This had something to do with a technicality within the rules of the Dajas Pagoda. The powers that be declared that there'd been some sort of infraction of the Pagoda rules on Cronen's behalf. Lorenor didn't understand it all and frankly, he didn't need to.

They'd thrown another battle upon him, these accursed Scara Brae Knights. He'd fought with every ounce of skill he could muster to stay alive against that mushroom staff wielding Master Chef. Lorenor remembered that the skeleton thought that Lorenor had beaten him! What a load of crap. It took him every ounce of skill just to stay on top of the Skeleton, and he'd broken his left leg in the process.

Bandaged up and with a broken spirit, the ghoul stared at the ceiling as he lay on the ground. 24 hours ago, the ghoul had battled against Krugor and suffered that serious injury. Now he lay there sleeping in a half state of dementia as the Scara Brae Knights worked on his person. They'd left the warehouse (At least a few of them) to work out documents and papers sealing Lorenor and Krugor's fate. On the one hand, if Lorenor's story ended here he could be freed of these accursed Scara Brae Knights.

On the other hand, if the powers that be declared that Lorenor won the battle he would continue to train hard against whatever challenges came his way. He never knew who or what he was going to face, he merely waited for the next challenges to come. As the Scara Brae Knights shifted through the pool of worthy contenders to face off against the dueling ghoul, Lorenor rested.

Watching.

Waiting.

For the next warrior to come calling.

"Let them bring whoever they want to. Damn it. My leg still hurts despite the fact that they've healed what they could. I'm ready to face their next challenge." Lorenor muttered to nobody in particular in his current state of hysteria. Time passed whilst he waited for the next challenger to arrive for him. Would they free him of this cursed Pagoda responsibility? Or would Lorenor be destined to be trapped within the confines of the Pagoda for all eternity?

Was this Hell?

[Stuffed Fury]

"You want to do what...?"

"I've already told you like a million times, Roderick, I wanna go to the Dajas Pagoda in Scara Brae!" Sasorick cried excitedly, standing on one of the top shelves of his father's little Bazaar Shop, tucked in between two other merchandise stalls. He had a book open and laid out across the shelf, the pages told tales of the Dajas Pagoda. Roderick stood on the ground, but he was still at eye-level with the small stuffed animal. He looked at the excited bear through his wide glasses.

"Sooo... You want to fight in the Pagoda, eh? Why?" Roderick asked, that old wise-man inquisitive tone in his voice.

"I want people to take me seriously!" Sasorick exclaimed, hopping right onto Roderick's head, right onto his mat of short, light gray hair and faced the street outside of the stall. "I want everyone, especially the Corone Rangers, to look at me with respect!"

The old merchant laughed, "But Teddy, people already do take you seriously." He said, turning around with the stuffed animal on his head to face the bustling street that made up the Bazaar, thus turning Teddy to stare at the back of the stall. The sun blared down on everything except beneath Roderick's little stall. He sat on a big chest filled with various warrior accoutrements and watched as a motley assortment of people walked by, the occasional person glancing at his weapons and armor sprawled on the counter.

"Oh really?" Sasorick began, scrambling to turn around to face the street as well. "Look at that! That guy just laughed at me!"

"Who?"

"That guy, that just passed our shop! He looked over and went 'ahahahaha!'" Teddy pointed repeatedly at a short human that was walking away from the stall, tapping Roderick's head with his foot at the same time. The little bear's vain attempts made Roderick chuckle.

"Sasorick, do you truly think you could beat a real fighter at the Pagoda?" Roderick asked, reaching up with one hand and snatching up Sasorick, setting him gently next to a longsword on the stall counter. The bear whirled around to face the merchant.

"A real fighter? What does that mean? I'm a real fighter!" Teddy yelled, gesturing towards his little crossbows and longsword.

"Indeed..." Roderick sighed, "Well I guess there's no talking you out of this. It's not like you'll die or anything..."

"I can go!?"

The old merchant hesitated, "If you wish. Just please be careful. I'll arrange transportation for you so you won't have to worry about it, okay?"

Sasorick hopped onto Roderick's shoulder excitedly and said, "The Teddy Bear Ranger shall rise to recognition once and for all!!"

______________________________________________

A fairly short boat trip arranged by Roderick and then an even shorter trip on top of some Knight's head had Sasorick standing inside the Dajas Pagoda, looming many stories overhead. From atop the knight's head he could see the whole of the first floor. A circular counter sat in the middle of the large room, where apparently people registered themselves into the never-ending tournament. The countless lanterns that hung on big iron hooks all around the room lighted everything. Did they not believe in windows? Sasorick looked around and saw the various warriors and mercenaries wandering around, each with a distinct look to them.

"Wow this place is awesome!" Sasorick yelled, hopping once on the knight's metal helm. The Scara Brae knight laughed through his mask.

"So, are you ready to register, Sasorick?" The knight asked. He was a friend of Roderick's, and had agreed to escort Teddy through town happily. He was a tall, robust Scara Knight with a deep voice and a kind heart, an old veteran. He was wearing the standard uniform of any ol' Scara Brae Knight, with an exquisite longsword sheathed at his side.

"Hurry hurry, over to the counter!" Sasorick exclaimed, pointing forward. He wanted to register quickly and get right into a fight without delay. The stuffed animal was so excited he kept hopping up and down on the knight's head. The knight walked over to the counter and Sasorick hopped down onto it. A thin, frail old woman stood behind the counter, her old gray-blue eyes didn't even bother to look at the teddy bear.

"Here to duel again, Norris?" The old woman said, in a light but strangely young-sounding voice. It belied her age. Sasorick was stunned; he was simply staring at all the wrinkles on her pale face! The knight, Norris, shook his head.

"No, ma'am, I'm actually here to get this lil guy in for a fight." He motioned for the teddy bear, who was still eyeballing the old mistress, who looked at him in return.

"A... Stuffed animal?"

"I'm ready to fight right now! Get me in there so I can prove my worth and show what the Corone Rangers are made of." Sasorick exclaimed.

"I don't... I don't think we have someone willing to fight one such as you." She said, regarding the bear's small size.

Sasorick growled, "Whaddya mean?"

"Hold on, " Norris said, spreading his hands to gesture for the bear to calm down.

"I don't even think anyone is open for today, " The lady said, shuffling through some parchment on the counter and eyeing them.

"Ah ah, waaaait. I do remember someone earlier was looking for someone to duel, right on the spot." Norris said quickly, a thoughtful look on his face.

"You're not talking about... That mutant, are you?" She asked gravely, leaning forward and whispering so only Norris could hear.

"I'm sure he could handle it." Norris responded. Sasorick jumped forward in between them, right on top of some documents, and ruffled them up as he hopped up and down like a child.

"What? What is it!" He cried, the knight and the woman backed up at the same time.

"You'll get your fight. Hop on, we have someone lined up for you already." Norris said. Sasorick hopped lightly onto his shoulder and immediately the two took off.

"Best of luck to you." The old woman said finally.

__________________________________________

"So who is my opponent?" Sasorick asked while the two walked down an empty and strangely cold hall that led to the back of the Pagoda. They were still on the first floor, and the hall was totally abandoned, just cold gray brick lined up to make a straight walkway. Several torches burned in holders on the walls, but other than that the place was devoid of any light. It was like a dungeon, but Teddy didn't really feel any fear. It smelt like fresh paint. Norris's metal boots clanked as he strolled casually on the brick floor. The place surely wasn't lively at all.

"Oh, just some guy who likes to fight in the storage room back here. There's nothing to worry about." He replied.

Sasorick smiled and perked up as he saw the door ahead come up closer, a duo of similarly suited knights stood guard on either side. "Are they guarding the storage room?" Teddy thought to himself.

"Good 'ay to you, Captain Norris." One of the guards said as they approached the door, Norris nodded in response.

"Is this to be our lil' fighter, aye?" the other guard asked, looking at the teddy bear perched up on the captain's shoulder.

"Indeed he is, Faerl." Norris replied, stepping through the door after Faerl opened it for them. "Well this oughta be interestin'." Sasorick heard one of the guards mutter behind their backs.

Teddy brought his attention to the new room they had walked into, a dimly lit room stacked with boxes and crates. He could barely see past the first line of crates, it looked sort of like a dark maze. Norris began to make his way through, meandering through the wooden containers and after a quick moment they found themselves in a big ring, lined with a couple standing torches to light things up and also a couple of hanging lanterns on the ceiling - casting a reddish glow over the warehouse. A light came from the far other side of the room, the yellowish light of the outside coming in a little bit. So there is a warehouse in the back of the Dajas Pagoda? They could've just come through that way!

Sasorick could see several other knights standing atop the crates, armed with deadly looking weapons. Immediately he whipped out one of his hand crossbows and leveled it at a random knight.

"Is that my enemy?" The stuffed animal yelled, getting the attention of the knights. Especially the one who he was aiming at, who let out a little chuckle at the diminutive ranger.

Norris chuckled and responded, "No."

"Is he!?" Sasorick said, pointing at another knight.

"No..."

"How about that guy? Look, he's shivering with fear!" Teddy exclaimed, pointing at another knight, who was in fact shivering a little bit, up on a couple crates and almost touching the ceiling. He was shivering but since Sasorick couldn't feel the coldness of the room he could only suspect that he was full of fright.

Norris laughed again, "No, he will be your opponent for today." He was pointing to the center of the ring, at a heap lying in the middle. Sasorick aimed his crossbow excitedly, and leveled the sight of the weapon at the beast, disregarding the fact that he was a scary-looking mutant.

"Alllll right!" Sasorick cried, pulling the trigger to let loose a magically growing bolt at his foe. Then he leaped off of Norris's shoulder onto a low-lying crate beside him and readied his other crossbow. He had no hesitation to fight, he wanted to win!

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Lorenor's leg was bandaged up at the spot of the injury he'd received at the hands of Krugor's damned mushroom staff. Dim lights swung overhead as a light breeze touched the warehouse from cracks in the wall and the opened double-doors that signaled new strangers entering the large building. Lorenor was used to people entering and leaving the warehouse at random shifts so he didn't really care that new people were coming.

What he didn't know is that the Scara Brae Knights carried something different, they carried his next opponent amongst their fold. Lorenor studied the shifting patterns of light and shadows in the warehouse. Miles upon miles of crates lurked within the buildings filled with rations and supplies of all sorts. This was a resupply despot for the Scara Brae Knights. Lorenor had attempted to break into it after his battle with Krugor and got caught in the process.

Lorenor heard loud voices approaching his person. The dust filled floor lurked beneath him as he lay on the ground. Then suddenly a particularly loud voice was nearby and started an obnoxious conversation with the Scara Brae Knights. Lorenor never bothered to talk to them since they were all just faces in the crowd.

And then it happened.

A sense of danger touched Lorenor's sensory array and all Hell broke loose around the ghoul. A sharp, tiny, bolt passed Lorenor's body and made it all the way to Lorenor's face. At the cheek-bone on his left side Lorenor felt his flesh being ripped apart with the precision of a surgical incision. A long two inch cut spread across Lorenor's face from where the arrow bolt passed and continued on past Lorenor's head. He heard it puncture some crate in the distance.

Black blood flowed incredulously from the wound. Lorenor eyed the blood flowing down his face and screamed in agony for a moment. The Scara Brae Knights laughed at what had just occurred keeping their weapons trained upon Lorenor's person somehow. Lorenor touched his face and looked around to see what had attacked him.

"What the Hell was that!?" Lorenor yelled angrily. He stood up so quickly that he felt pain on his injured leg. He groaned with agony and clutched his leg casually as it was still recovering from its injury. He frowned angrily upon what he saw next. A talking teddy bear. A frigging talking teddy bear had attacked a Pagoda Warrior. Lorenor saw that the Scara Brae Knights were all LAUGHING AT HIM. He touched his injured face for a moment keeping his hand upon the injury. "All right you little runt, I'm going to make you pay for that--!"

He suddenly stopped himself. Was this THING his next opponent? Judging by the crossbow in the small bear's hands he assumed it was. He recognized the Scara Brae Knight named Norris from previous encounters with him.

"THAT IS MY NEXT OPPONENT YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING?"

Wearing an amused expression on his face, Norris simply nodded with a smile in the affirmative.

"Thaynes be cursed! All right then. FINE! I'll fight the little runt if it amuses you. I'LL FIGHT ALL COMERS THAYNES BE CURSED!" The ghoul swore. "I'll make you pay for that you stuffed whatever you are!" The ghoul was so angry he couldn't think of anything to say to it. He simply stared incredulous and drew John Mattis' longsword. He prepared himself to duel against this--Teddy Bear.

Moving into a loose combat stance, the ghoul awaited his opponent's next move. This had most certainly been a rude awakening.

[Stuffed Fury]

Sasorick stood puzzled for a moment, keeping both crossbows leveled at the torso of his mutant opponent, but he was wondering just what was going on. He had read that the Warrior Hierarchs were respected in the Dajas Pagoda... But this creature, it looked like he was being ridiculed. Laughed at, treated like a dog. A sense of pity washed over the stuffed animal, pretty much because he sort of knew what it was like to be treated like that; But fortunately for him he had the right attitude to shut anyone up!

He shook his head to keep his mind from musing, a smile spreading on his face when he noticed that he had enraged the monster after his little bolt struck home. He knew it didn't do much damage, but hopefully he could get in more hits like that while keeping himself out of harm's way.

He pulled the trigger on his other crossbow, letting another bolt fly towards the mutant's torso, then he proceeded to reload both weapons simultaneously, and hopped down from the crate to stand behind it, his green cloak flowing freely behind him. He landed with a soft thud, and his cloak draped over his face.

"Gah, damn thing!" Sasorick said, twisting, turning and shrugging his shoulders to get the cloak off his face while reloading at the same time. Thankfully the wooden container was tall enough to totally cover the stuffed bear and hide him from the mutant's sight. The teddy bear had so many things to hide behind and use to his advantage, it was astonishing!

This would certainly be an interesting fight.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Lorenor's acute sensory array caught wind of the incoming bolt giving the ghoul enough time to evade. He swung the plynt longsword just in the nick of time hearing the sound of a tiny clink. Metal resonated against metal as Lorenor struck the side of the bolt sending it harmlessly to the ground somewhere nearby to be consumed by layers of dust. Just like that, the stuffed teddy bear ran out of bounds and went into hiding behind one of the many crates in the warehouse.

Lorenor sighed. Why couldn't people follow Pagoda rules? They were supposed to fight within the designated combat area! For crying out loud! Lorenor felt frustration in his stomach, and with good reason. Krugor had attempted to within the vast area of crates. Why did they always underestimate his sensory capabilities? Oh well. Lorenor knew that he had the upper hand when it came to this game of cat and mouse.

Rubbing the Aegis Bracer calmly the ghoul concentrated on his senses. He had to focus on the Teddy Bear's unique scent. Once he'd located it the ghoul became as a blood hound. He spotted where the Scara Brae Knights kept there arrows trained on the Teddy Bear's position. The Scara Brae Knights did that for everyone who came into the combat arena as a fail-safe to prevent any cheating.

Only the Thaynes knew what those arrowheads were made of. But they were sharp and deadly. Lorenor nodded towards the Scara Brae Knights. Laughter had stopped many moments earlier and now it was business as usual. The ghoul moved following the scent of the Teddy Bear and made his way towards the top of the crate that the stuffed animal hid behind. He leaped silently towards the top of the crate and stalked his prey like a black panther might.

Lorenor crept towards the edge of the crate and saw the small opponent just at the edge of his sensory array. He looked down and jumped so that he landed in front of the Teddy Bear's person. "I have you now!" Lorenor said calmly and struck out with his longsword aiming for the Teddy Bear's right Trapezius region. He hoped it would connect. He knew the rules though, the Teddy Bear had to leave this place alive.

[Stuffed Fury]

"Ah!" The teddy bear squeaked in surprise, jumping back into the crate with a startled expression on his face - or as startled as his face could get. Out of sheer adrenaline and shock, the surprised stuffed animal leaped up as high as he could, just over three feet. Thankfully, the blade of the mutant's longsword passed harmlessly beneath him. The leap was more of a reflex than a conscious thought, rather than freezing from fright the teddy bear's reflexes had him getting the hell away from what scared him!

Strangely though, Sasorick was propelled forward, and he plopped down on the crouched monster's arm, just above the wrist. He chuckled childishly at the sudden change in pace of the battle. He was standing on a mutant that was five times as tall as he was, and with strength that's countless times more than he, and here he was, parading on his arm.

He had jumped out of harm's way again, but he was sure that even one slip-up and he would have his arm lopped off. Until then, he was gung-ho and would be relentless.

Sasorick raised both crossbows up and pulled both triggers, aimed at the mutant's stomach. Hopefully his foe's skin wasn't leathery tough so his bolts could do some damage. He was surprised to hear one of his crossbows click in a weird way, and realized that he hadn't loaded it correctly and the string skimmed over the top of the bolt. He had loaded it with one hand after all.

"Damnit all!" He thought to himself as a single bolt went after the mutant's gut.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

((Bunnies approved for this match and its remainder thank you Mod))

Dust swirled all about the two tiny warriors. One was a stuffed teddy bear and the other was a derelict ghoul. With the dust devils flying all around his person Lorneor had a hard time seeing the little dervish with his physical eyes. So he shut them and relied upon his ace in the hole; his senses. The ghoul concentrated as the little one jumped skillfully out of harm's way.

His sword tip crushed a nearby wooden crate spilling its contents upon the dirty ground. Lorenor propelled forward with his body weight and he suddenly felt the weight of his opponent upon his wrist. With the forward momentum and added force of the leap, Lorenor suddenly dropped his sword. When it hit the floor beneath them there was a loud sound of metal banging against concrete.

Lorenor swore profanities. The little devil was on his arm! It had released another attack and he was thankful he still wore the leather shirt from his last time he'd resupplied with the Gol'bron. There was a slight bruise that was formed where the cross bolt struck against his shirt. It was a forceful impact, and the tiny thing tore through layers of fabric. It got itself stuck inside of the thick fabric though. Lorenor angrily swiped at the tiny needle point sending it falling harmlessly to the floor. The small bruise was barely noticed by the ghoul.

Lorenor still felt the weight of the teddy bear on his arm. A damned teddy bear is attacking me and I'm loosing to it, what's the matter with me? Do I want to blow this battle?! Lorenor thought angrily to himself. He suddenly shifted his body weight and swung his upper body so that his arm rotated and moved towards a nearby wooden crate. He wanted to slam the teddy bear against one of the wooden crates if he could. Or at least get the thing OFF his arm. As he moved, he knelt down to grab his sword with his opposite arm.

This was going to be a long night.

[Stuffed Fury]

Sasorick was surprised at how fierce the duel had gotten, and so fast too. One second, he was standing safely upon the shoulders of a strong Scara Brae knight, and the next, he was being thrust into a wooden crate after pretty much placing himself in the catapult that was the mutant's arm.

Teddy's back hit the side of a wooden crate, "Ooof!" He exclaimed, as whatever air that was harbored in whatever lungs he had was forced out of him. Good thing he was a stuffed animal, though, or else that impact would've actually hurt!

Crack! The sound of the wood splinter and crack erupted from the teddy-on-crate impact, and the small Sasorick literally broke through the container and fell inside. A small cloud of dust poofed up when Teddy hit the bottom of the crate, and he was enveloped in darkness. The crate was empty, or at least that's what Sasorick assumed. He couldn't see anything except what the thin ray of light coming from the hole he had created. He guessed that it was a fair sized crate, probably three times his size in height and width both. He felt like he was in a dark and wooden chamber.

Standing in the ray of light, Sasorick looked out the hole; Nothing. He saw another group of crates on the far side of room but no signs of his mutant opponent. He knew though, that his only was out was through that hole. There was no way he would bust another hole to get out, so he would have to see what happens.

"He's gonna come in here!" Sasorick thought quickly to himself, looking at the adjacent side of the crate, the side that the mutant most likely would've been on. "No! Waaaaait... Maybe, here!" Teddy whirled around to face the next side of the crate, opposite the hole. "He probably jumped over!" He quickly lowered his crossbows and began to reload them with two quiet clicks, then he hopped into the corner of the crate, right next to the hole. He was covered in darkness, though it's not like his foe would shrink down and come inside looking for him. He would have to wait and see what happened though.

He raised his crossbows and kneeled in wait.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

The stalker observed his prey casually. It slammed through the crate. The ghoul waited for his opponent to come out of there on his own for a moment to continue the duel, but once again the little thing stayed in hiding. Lorenor sighed at the physicality of this. He's making me work for my win. Fine that'll be that and this will be this.

He switched his sword from his right hand to his left hand quickly and leaped up to a nearby create. He was now three crates down from where he knew his opponent was. Taking a running jog he leaped off the second farthest crate away from Sasorick's position and moved through the air towards THE TOP of the box.

Once Lorenor reached the apex of his jump he pushed his body weight downward so he could come crashing down upon the top of his opponent's head, quite literally. Lorenor felt gravity become his waltzing partner. Time slowed down for the ghoul as he fell down upon the box containing his target.

He had no projectiles to throw at the bear but either way the attack went, he was certain to get the drop on his opponent. Lorenor felt his feet connected against the box. Underneath his body weight the box easily collapsed and caved in underneath Lorenor. The ghoul was aiming to completely trap the small teddy bear beneath him. He'd had enough of Sasorick. There was no more time for fun and games.

"NO MORE PLACES TO RUN TO LITTLE ONE! NO MORE PLACES TO HIDE! RUN TO HELL AND I SHALL FIND YOU!" The ghoul yelled in anger. There was a loud smashing sound as the wooden crate broke.

[Stuffed Fury]

Sasorick heard screaming, but rather than reacting he simply stood in wait, only looking for something to happen. Almost simultaneous with the yelling, though, a being plunged down from the top of the crate with a loud crash! The sudden impact made the teddy bear jump up onto his feet.

The ceiling of Sasorick's temporary sanctuary came down upon him, crashing in the center of the dark chamber that made the crate. It was a good thing that he hopped into a corner, or else he would've been crushed beneath his mutant foe. The force broke the side of the crate too, making them open and flatten outward while the top piece that the mutant crashed through smashed into the stuffed animal.

A cloud of dust erupted and Sasorick was forced to shut his eyes, and after a moment when things cooled down he opened his eyes to see his feet pinned under the top part of the crate that crashed down onto him, and the mutant who had drop kicked it standing victoriously on top of it all.

"Come on, Sasorick! You can do it!" Came a voice from above, and it made Teddy incline his head so he could look behind him, sort of. There stood Norris, with a smile on his face. He had backed up a couple of steps from where he was originally, probably to avoid the confrontation that made it's way there. He gestured encouragingly for Sasorick to keep going, to persevere and not let his enemy win so quickly. He was small, but his undying spirit, attitude, and will to win all kept him trudging.

The stuffed bear focused his attention back on his mutant foe, and raised both arms to aim his crossbows at his opponent's face. Or, wait, did he? He watched as only one of his arms raised up with his will, and looked over to see his other arm laying limply at his side. It wasn't fully cut off, but he could see a large tear across the shoulder, which practically made that arm useless.

"Gah! Trisgen, damn it all!" He shouted, firing off the one crossbow from his able hand, hoping that this fight wasn't over yet.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Lorenor remembered the cut on his face. When he saw that his tiny opponent prepared to launch yet another bolt at his person, the ghoul became angrier than before. This time, he moved off to the side the moment he saw that the small one raised his arm. He didn't want to risk getting hit and feeling that damned pain again from the needle-like bolt.

The bolt zinged harmlessly past his person and connected to a wooden box someplace nearby. Lorenor breathed heavily. His face stung, his body heat was off the charts and he just generally wanted to get this over with. He'd run completely around several crates and ended up at the back side of the teddy bear some few feet away from him. Taking up his weapon, the ghoul ran towards the teddy bear and prepared his next attack.

His opponent was small so he had to improvise quickly. The ghoul ducked down in mid sprint and held his sword with both hands keeping his weapon at the ready. He broke into a sudden and wild slide maneuver. The dust helped propel him forward. Lorenor created a dust cloud as he skidded across the slippery concrete floor. He kept his sight upon his slippery opponent at all times propelling himself forward with his momentum. He had to attack low to keep his opponent off guard.

Lorenor's boot stretched out towards his little foe. He hoped to kick the living daylights out of the little teddy bear. Lorenor's face was completely serious as he assaulted the tiny warrior. His cloak flowed in the momentum of his movement. He held his blade up above his head ready to strike like a coiled serpent. Seconds fell off the proverbial clock as Lorenor slid across the ground.

He hoped something happened in his favor. This entire battle had been nothing but a fluke.

[Stuffed Fury]

Without allowing his foe any respite, Sasorick attempted to scramble to his feet. His shot had missed, but he wouldn't let that phase him. Things were still looking grim for the teddy bear, one arm had been rendered useless and his opponent still proved to be the much bigger, stronger fighter of the two. Those two factors were paramount, at least in Sasorick's case.

With a grunt and a titanic effort, he managed to pull his feet from beneath the heavy crate, at least to him it was heavy. He spun around to meet the charge of the ghoul, who was just seconds away from sliding into him. He didn't have much of a choice but to stand strong against the charge, he was surrounded by stacks of crates and he feared that if he went any further away from the ring he would be disqualified for disobeying the rules.

Teddy dropped the crossbow in his able hand and it immediately shot up and clutched the hilt of his longsword, a determined look on his face. He might've started off the battle a little shaky, but right now he was determined to have this mutant leave the battle with a new scar, whether the stuffed bear won or lost.

Sasorick's torn arm dangled loosely at his side, while his other hand struggled to pull free his longsword, barely being able to handle it's weight with one hand. Also at the same time, his body quickly began to glow a pale white, barely visible, and out from that stitched mouth of his he uttered, "Retzin!" Then at the same time as his body glowed, his longsword blade began to grow, glow and flow with the magical energy of his "Long" Longsword spell. He mustered a battle cry from the depths of his will, and let the magic of Dash work. He always loved using those two spells hand-in-hand, he just thought it would look so cool if he was looking at himself do it from afar.

He was propelled forward at an amazing speed, compared to his little size, and was charging at the speed of a full grown average man towards the mutant's booted foot, longsword thrust outward. The tip was just above the ground, barely keeping upheld with his one hand, the momentum of Dash would have to do all the work. If he was going to get kicked, that kicking foot wouldn't leave the impact unscathed.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Lorenor knew he'd made a huge mistake. He'd let his emotions get the better of him and wasn't thinking clearly for the onset of this duel. Lorenor slid forward right into the tiny one's counter maneuver. He never even saw the attack coming. Sliding across the ground Lorenor managed to cover some ground from his last position to his current position before he managed to see what was happening next.

The ghoul braced himself for pain. Lorenor's thick hide boots protected his foot with some degree of protection but didn't hold well enough. The microscopic steel easily punctured the thick layers of hide and was pushed forward with the tiny warrior's momentum. Lorenor saw a glow of some eerie power resonate around the teddy bear. Feeling the epidermis region of his sole get punctured, the ghoul howled in pain.

Once again the battle was moving rapidly downhill. Lorenor moved his sword so that the blade tip skidded against the ground a bit. He couldn't even salvage anything from the attack. He quickly retracted his foot from the puncture wound, black blood spilling everywhere. The glow around the teddy bear hurt Lorenor's eyes. With his sensory array he felt some slight pain from the non-elemental energies flowing from the small warrior.

The little guy had power. Lorenor gave him that. The powers of darkness recoiled against the teddy bear's assault. Lorenor quickly pulled himself backwards once he used the sword's tip to skid to a complete stop. He pushed himself backwards and away from the teddy bear. Now the battle was deadly serious. The ghoul had been personally insulted. He eyed the Scara Brae Knights for a moment and could feel their eyes upon him. They wanted the ghoul gone.

Lorenor shook his head and he tried to stand on top of the foot injury. The ghoul fell down as pain coursed up his leg and up his pain. It was more than he could bear. The humiliation was too great. Lorenor saw that the Scara Brae Knights set him up good this time. He stared angrily at the tiny warrior trying to dig into his next bag of tricks. In being forced to fight a one sided battle, Lorenor's arsenal had been greatly diminished.

Lorenor was helpless on the ground staring up at the ceiling. He arched his neck so that his eyes could observe the little punk claim his victory upon the ghoul. With the injury on his foot, the ghoul had to wait until the wound sealed itself before he could freely around. Sasorick easily tore through the hide boots injuring the ghoul's pride. Lorenor had no choice but to retreat backwards.

"Do it! Finish me off I don't care. I didn't want this damned Warriorship any damned way."

The ghoul worked to uphold the Scara Brae Knight's rules that were forced upon his shoulders. He tried to be a good duelist but he was beaten not just by the Master Chef, he was also beaten now by this Teddy Bear. This damned Teddy Bear warrior. He'd been out-classed and out-styled. The latter point hurt the most. His foot throbbed and ached with agony as he stayed there against the ground moving steadily backwards. He held his sword in his hand. The weight of his Aegis Bracer felt like a against his arm.

He had power, he just needed to restrain himself from using. These duels were all about self restraint. He remembered the night he fought Joshua Cronen, that battle had been personal. This was becoming personal. Lorenor struggled against his feelings as he tried to push them aside. Blood seeped out of his hide boots from the injury he'd sustained. He stared angrily at his opponent. With the sword in his hand, he waited to see what the little one would do next.

Lorenor couldn't stand with the pain in his foot.

[Stuffed Fury]

With the thrust, came the bust. Sasorick's unstoppable dash propelled him straight into his opponent's ramming foot, and the impact forced his sword from his hand. No way he could've held on with a single arm. The teddy bear's face rammed into the sole of the mutant's boot with three pounds of force, and the sudden stopping of Dash, the sudden inertia that surged through his body, pushed him backwards.

Teddy was sprawled across the ground, the top of his fluffy head just barely tapping the edge of the broken crate again. His longsword, being flung from his grasp, was a little bit ahead of him, as well as his opponent. He looked over on both sides of him while on his back, seeing one of his crossbows laying on his able arm's side. His other one was, strangely, still clutched tightly in his torn arm. He reached over with his other arm and snatched up his crossbow, bringing his head to look straight up again.

He saw the bare ceiling of the room, a glow off to the side that signaled the arena, then he saw a tower of stacked crates to the other side. He could see a knight peering down at him from the top of that tower, crossbow in hand and a funny smile on his unprotected face. He was probably laughing on the inside at the spectacle. Not every day did you see a foot tall stuffed bear defeat a big monster of a man.

Using his one arm, Sasorick managed to push himself to his feet, facing his bleeding foe, Norris was standing a couple feet to the side of the mutant, simply watching the duel. A wicked grin spread across his lips, and he felt like a real badass. Deep down he knew, though, that the mutant was not only suffering some sort of physical inury before the fight, but an emotional one as well. The teddy bear knew that he himself couldn't measure up to a real fighter, but to this beast, his relentless fighting had procured him a... Victory? Perhaps, but this wasn't over yet.

Click! His able-armed crossbow had been reloaded, and he stood, thirteen inches tall and proud of it on the dusty concrete ground with one torn and dangling arm. His giant of an opponent lay before him in a heap, struggling . No doubt it'd be hard to stand back up with a hole in the sole of your foot! Sasorick might not have had the ability to slice up at someone's face, but he was able to attack the very thing that people used to keep upright.

"I feel your pain, but if you weren't such a scary beast and I wasn't a cute stuffed animal I might feel worse than I do." He cackled. He did feel a little sorry, but the mutant did also say that he wanted to leave this place, and Sasorick knew that his victory would do just that for him. Plus, there was no way he'd come and lose his very first battle at the Dajas Pagoda. That just wasn't what Corone Rangers did!

He lifted his projectile weapon and pulled the trigger, letting fly yet another magically growing crossbow bolt at the torso of his opponent.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

To add insult to injury the little one attacked him AGAIN. This time, Lorenor was ready for it and swiped his sword in an arch to intercept the incoming small needle-like missile. Lorenor heard a slight clanging sound as the projectile impacted against his weapon. The tiny bolt was flung harmlessly off to the side. Lorenor had been cut up enough by those damned little things. He cursed in silence and tried his luck at standing again.

After some considerable effort he was able to get back up on his feet but fell down once more with the first attempt. A cold draft touched the bottom of his foot since Lorenor didn't bother to wear socks. Lorenor stood up after trying two more times. The teddy's insulting words were much more than Lorenor would stand for. He wouldn't allow the little one to humiliate him any further.

The Scara Brae Knights already thought of him as a joke and the event was further weighing in his heart. How had it come down to this? Lorenor wondered to himself. After some considerable effort he was finally able to ignore the pain and stand on his injured foot. The steel blade had caused a size able injury that needed some treatment for infections later on. Lorenor knew that the Scara Brae Knights would at least provide THAT much help.

With his pride injured, the ghoul pondered what to do next. The bear had attacked HIM while he was down. This wasn't a duel. This was a humiliation party. This was make Lorenor look like crap day. Well he would show them!

The fight wasn't over yet. Not by a long shot. Lorenor looked up at the lights as he sucked up the pain. No. Unlike teddy, the Scara Brae Knights weren't going to support him. They wanted him the heck out of their precious warehouse. Lorenor was just another mouth to feed. He eyed the Scara Brae Knights for a moment and then returned his gaze to his foe.

He had to keep this thing going and wear his opponent down. He limped a few steps getting used to walking with the pain and then burst forward into a sprint. He held his sword in his hand and sent a downward thrust towards the teddy bear's trapezius region once more, on the inured side. Lorenor knew he couldn't inflict any lethal damage to the bear, just wear him down.

And that's exactly what he was going to do. He waited to see what further tricks the teddy bear would have in store for the ghoul. Teddy was now down two weapons...maybe he could use that to his advantage.

[Stuffed Fury]

"Damn it, I'm a stuffed animal, quit charging me!" Sasorick cried as his mutant foe rushed at him yet again, sword pointed at his little neck. What was he trying to do, decapitate the little guy? Sasorick's longsword was on the ground, there was no chance of him getting it without running headfirst into that ghoul's sword thrust. He also had one limp arm...

Beginning to get frustrated and nervous at the same time, Teddy began to work furiously with one hand to reload the crossbow in his unharmed arm. There wasn't enough time to cock another bolt in and pull the trigger before his foe reached him, so he had to think quickly; What were his choices? He could act like a coward and avoid the attack, jumping up onto a little ledge created by the stack of boxes to his side, or he could meet the mutant's charge and get his head lopped off.

He looked down quickly, the little bear's feet were sure and stable on the concrete ground but he wasn't sure if he had it in him to jump up as high as he could again. His feet had been smashed and looked a little flattened, he wondered if his inanimate muscles could lift him that high again.

He left his musings, shaking his little head, and then was surprised to see his opponent a second away from getting to him. "Ahhh!" The stuffed animal cried in surprise and fear, hopping up and forward toward the mutant's charge out of pure reflex. The metal of the sword missed his neck, instead skimming his chubby tummy and slashing through the fabric a little bit. The rip brought no reaction from Teddy, who instead focused on thrusting his foot outward, sailing towards the ghoul's face. He heard a guy cackle from elsewhere in the room, it was probably pretty funny to watch a stuffed animal try and side kick a mutant in the face.

Not to mention the fact that the attack would be pretty much useless!

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Lorenor felt a little more confident when his sword connected with the bear's stomach. He knew he couldn't kill his foe but at the very least he could severely injure the little guy. Lorenor attempted to pick apart his opponent's attack piece by piece. Once he saw the little one attempting a mid-air jump kick the ghoul frowned.

He reacted quickly by tilted his sword so that the flat end faced up underneath his opponent. Then, he shifted his body weight so that he thrust both of his arms upward. He intended to use the flat end of his sword to attempt to knock the teddy bear out of the air and into further trouble. Lorenor had a feeling that his small opponent was growing desperate. He nearly had him with his last attack.

All it would take is ONE little decapitation to end this one and for all. The lights danced across the battle arena as the torch flames bounced with the wind flowing through the warehouse. Lorenor pondered seriously taking the teddy bear apart. The entire encounter had been a lesson in humiliation.

Lorenor knew he was supposed to be the one doing the teaching, not the other way around. I'll show you and your bag of tricks little one! The match had grown out of control quickly. Seeing the attempt by the teddy bear to kick him the face was the final straw. He thrust upwards with his sword hoping that the flat end of his weapon would intercept the teddy bear before it ever even touched his face...

Only time would tell.

[Stuffed Fury]

Just one more second... One more second and his foot would have connected. Not really doing any damage, but hopefully stalling his opponent's attack so that he could reload his crossbow for another assault.

"I got you now! You'll never -"

"Oof!" Teddy exhaled loudly as the mutant's sword came upward, bashing the stuffed animal's underside. The impact sent the lightweight flying through the air and upward, Sasorick screamed and flailed his arms as the distance between him and the dusty ground quickly increased, his green cloak flowing freely in the wind. How high did he go? Norris's chest quickly passed by his peripheral vision, then a crate passed right below him.

Sasorick managed to incline his head and look ahead at his flight path, he was headed straight for another knight's face!

"Ah!" The short Scara Brae knight yelled and shielded his face just before a three pound stuffed bear came crashing into it. A soft thud came from the crash and Teddy was sent falling onto the crate beneath the one the knight was standing on, on a little ledge created from the corner jutting out.

"Damn it all!" Sasorick cried, pushing his back against the crate on top of the one he was on, so he could push himself to his feet without using his arm. He was busy reloading his crossbow. As soon as Sasorick was up on his feet, and before paying any attention to his opponent, he looked down to check his body for any unforseen injuries. "Lets see... Legs, torso with a cut in it, one good arm, one dangling ar - wait!" A surprised expression erupted on his face and he snapped his head around.

"Where the hell is my arm!?" Teddy yelled, looking everywhere for his previously torn arm, apparently it was completely off now at the shoulder. After a moment he spotted it laying halfway in between him and the mutant, on the concrete ground. It just stood there, inert, the hand crossbow still clutched in it's inanimate hand. "You'll pay for that, mongrel!"

He looked up to see the still surprised knight staring down at him, but he couldn't see his expression through his silver steel full helm. Then he looked forward again. From that height, which was probably two or three crates off the ground, he could see much of the room. Forward and to the right was the arena, a circular ring lit by some hanging lanterns and a couple standing torches, and dirt covered the whole of it, and the large, open double doors stood swung open far down the room - he could barely see them through the maze of storage containers.

The two combatants hadn't fought for one second in that ring, hopefully the duel was still legit. To his left, more stacks of crates and then the door Norris and he came through at the start. Behind him he guessed was the wall, just behind the stack of crates he was on. Sasorick then brought his attention to the mutant opponent that still lay on the ground, probably half a dozen yards away. Without hesitation, Sasorick lifted his one arm and pulled the crossbows trigger, just aimed in the general direction of the ghoul.

"I'll force you to sew my arm back on, beast!"

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Success! That was probably the first bit of good news that the ghoul had heard all night. The yelling of his opponent as he bashed the little one was that good news. He watched his opponent fly upwards through the air and come crashing against one of the Scara Brae Knights. Good that'll keep him off my back for a little while longer. He saw that the little one's arm fell off at the socket and this brought a grin to the ghoul's face. He could rest knowing that he'd done substantial damage to the bear without killing it.

Lorenor limped forward a few paces still getting used to walking with that damned injury on the bottom of his foot. He was tired. He was exhausted and in bad spirits. The Scara Brae Knights were draining the ghoul's resources effectively. He hadn't ate anything or drunk anything in many days since his first arrival at Scara Brae. He kept thinking of the night he fought Joshua Cronen.

He wondered if the other Pagoda Warrior was faring better than he. Lorenor took several deep breaths and then the little warrior attacked him again, this time Lorenor's back was turned to the small Ranger. Thaynes be cursed he just doesn't QUIT! What is he made of Prevalida or something!? Wondered the ghoul as his opponent released yet another attack from those devilish crossbows.

The tiny needle sizzled through the air. Lorenor felt it brush against his sensory grid and had no time to react since he was distracted. He shifted his body weight so that the needle like bolt hit his left rhomboideus muscle group. It pierced into his Vlince Cloak (Lorenor still wore the Vlince Cloak from the last time he resupplied with the Gol'bron) lodging itself into that general region. Lorenor spun around feeling the impact against him from the tiny object's momentum and speed. He grimaced as he felt the tiniest portion of the tip impact against his flesh.

Even through the Vlince cloak, the force was so great. Lorenor reached behind himself and slapped the needle out of his cloak. Another bruise developed at his rhomboideus region. Lorenor felt the pain flowing through his shoulder blade area. Those damned needle things hurt like Hell! Lorenor looked at Norris' person to see if he still had their blessings to continue the out of control duel. He kept his sword in hand.

Norris nodded calmly. That was all he needed. He turned to face the general direction of the tiny warrior and lunged towards him. His opponent was several feet away from him near a Scara Brae Knight. Lorenor saw that the Knight shifted his position and moved towards the top of another crate abandoning the Teddy Bear's current position. The Knights weren't allowed to interfere except to prevent cheating.

Lorenor sighed at that thankful for at least that blessing. Already, his opponent left many of the tiny bolts scattered across the floor. He had to be careful not to accidentally step on any of them with his hide boots. He concentrated to be sure that he could pick out the location of any stray bolt he might encounter on the floor as he proceeded to his enemy. Lorenor jumped and climbed his way up so that he was level with the Sasorick.

Once on the same plane as the tiny warrior, Lorenor approached him until he was no more than a few paces away facing him.

"You're resilient as all Hell. I'll give you that little one. That's not bad for someone whose had virtually no professional training. You just keep shooting those damned bolts at me. You've had the devil's luck all night long. But now the time has come to end this thing once and for all!"

Lorenor was truly frustrated. He raised his sword into combat position and waited to see what his foe would do next.

[Stuffed Fury]

Click! Another crossbow bolt cocked into place and Sasorick raised the sight aimed right at the ghoul's face, in front of a nasty smirk.

"If I wanted your lip, I'd have dropped my pants." Teddy muttered. He didn't really have any pants, but he felt that the joke got its meaning through well enough. He stood for a moment rather than firing, his opponent's face was right in front of him but if he remembered correctly he couldn't kill his opponent. Surely a shot to the face would do significant damage, despite his bolts being so small.

Sasorick smiled, another plan coming into that little noggin of his. He lowered his hand, and taking advantage of the mutant's sudden hesitation, leaped up and forward, right onto the ghoul's head. Sasorick laughed childishly and hopped off again before the beast could react. His legs thrust him as high as they could, though they were feeling a little weary. Up and over his opponent Sasorick went, whirling his body around in mid-air to face the ghoul's back. He raised his crossbow and pulled the trigger quickly, aimed at the top half of the mutant's back.

Then he looked down, at the good half dozen feet of air that stood between him and the cold, iron-gray concrete floor, and waited for gravity to take it's course.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Almost the moment that the teddy bear leaped up into the air, Lorenor knew exactly what to expect. The fact that he'd grabbed his face didn't bother the ghoul as much as the fact that the little guy was now DISRESPECTING him in his own arena! The nerve of him! Seeing the aerial antics of the little runt, Lorenor quickly sprung into action.

Whatever moment's hesitation was soon gone as the ghoul reacted with all the agility his small frame could muster. He heard the little one reloading his damned crossbow and knew what was happening. Almost on instinct, really just to avoid getting hit by another one of those damned bolts, Lorenor swirled completely around on his heels.

Bringing John Mattis' sword up to bear, the ghoul swung at the half pint warrior almost at the exact apex of the other's leap. Lorenor intended to cut the tiny teddy bear in two even pieces knowing that such an injury wouldn't kill it. He'd be humiliated, but he certainly wouldn't die from it. Lorenor counted off the second to see if his counter strike connected with the teddy bear.

The cross bolt zinged through the air and indeed struck true. Lorenor winced in pain as yet another bruise developed on his abdomanilis region. He ignored the needle impact as best he could and just continued to work this battle until the Scara Brae Knights said it was all over. The crates underneath him were made out of particularly sturdy oak wood and thusly held against his weight. Lorenor didn't want to talk to the teddy bear after the previous insult, he simply wanted to end this battle as soon as he could.

Lorenor was tired. He was weary. Exhaustion was rearing its ugly head in the ghoul's heart and he did his best to keep going despite the terrible feeling in his gut.

[Stuffed Fury]

((Haha... I understand this is WAY over the limit in time. But I'll finish anyway. It sucks that I had to leave for 5 weeks when I was just one post away from finishing...))

"Mother fu-!!"

Ssssssling!

...

Thud, thud.

"Gah!" Sasorick exclaimed, lying on the concrete ground propped straight up... On his torso. He had been cleaved clean in half, his lower body was a couple feet in front of him, a line of fluffy stuffing in between. His cloak was sprawled out behind him, thankfully it hadn't been sliced. But his belt was still on his lower body.

"You sunnabitch!" The enraged teddy bear looked up angrily at his opponent, towering before him. He had an empty crossbow in hid hand, which he rose up and pulled the trigger fruitlessly.

"No fair! He's bigger than me! Grrrrrr..." He scrambled with one arm onto his stomach, ignoring the beast before him now. He was pissed, he didn't care anymore. With one arm he crawled over to the mutant's injured foot quickly and jabbed the end of his crossbow on the boot, trying in vain to get results. He wouldn't lose his first Pagoda battle no matter what! But sadly, after a couple of strikes a hand reached around his severed body and hoisted him up.

"What?! No! This isn't over!" He tried to wildly flail his one arm to loosen Norris's grip but it was like iron. The Scara Brae knight scooped up the rest of the pieces of Sasorick and looked at the mutant.

"Well, it seems to me that you'd be the victor. Congrats." He nodded and turned towards the door they came in.

"No! He hasn't one! As long as I can move the fight still lives!" Sasorick began to try and reach for his lower body where his quarrels were with his one hand, still clutching his crossbow, but it was too far away.

"Sasorick, stop. You can try again when you're all sewn up again."

The teddy bear sighed...

"I wonder what Roderick is going to think of this..." The ranger thought quietly to himself, fully limp in Norris's hand as they walked through the dim hallway back into the main part of the Pagoda, his booted feet clicking on the concrete ground with each step.

"He'll probably make me sleep in the boot again if he has to repair me all over again, even with stuffing. Sheeeesh..."

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Lorenor was tired. Exhaustion crept up in his stomach as he fell down to the ground, his sword clanking on the floor. That little bastard was a real hard ass. I have to give it to him. The nearby Knights looked at the Pagoda Warrior and moved to treat his injuries, there were quite a few minor cuts and incisions through out his person. Those little crossbow things hurt like hell!

The ghoul laid down on his back feeling the weight of the situation at hand. He knew he wasn't going to get much out of this excursion. Strangely, he found one of Sasorick's bolts nearby. He decided to keep it as a momento of the fierce battle. Lorenor gasped as he laid on the ground staring up at the ceiling. This was the culmination of all of his training...fighting a teddy bear and a reanimated skeleton.

Lorenor thought back to the fight with Joshua Cronen. That battle had been a real battle. He still remembered how much the powerful kick to his chest had hurt, though he was able to suck it up. He groaned, feeling the intense pain from the paper cut like wounds all over his body. The most serious injury was that one bruise on his thorax that really didn't need any medical attention.

A Scara Brae Knight took a hot blade to Lorenor's skin and sealed up the wounds with a steaming touch. Lorenor groaned loudly each time that the seering hot blade touched his flesh. Tears streamed down his face. He sighed as he sat there feeling his muscles tensed up. Norris walked over to Lorenor after the battle was done.

"You could have held back on him you know." The warrior said.

"Are you kidding Norris? I WAS holding back damn it."

The two warriors chuckled.

"You know for an undead, you aren't half bad despite that air of darkness about you."

"Thank you. I had to take advantage of that last hit, I was trying to end this ludicrous battle before it got anymore out of hand." Lorenor said to Norris. He was still in that sitting position feeling tired.

"What are you going to do now Lorenor?"

"Sleep for about a month." He said and laughed.

Norris laughed with him.

Fin.

[Karuka]

Okay, this took a little longer than I'd anticipated, but here it is.

Continuity:

ML: You did a very good job establishing your continuity. Even if I hadn't judged the fight against Krugor, I'd have known about it and about the fight with Cronen. I'm still not sure what brought him to SB, but what you had was good. One comment: make up your mind if Lorenor's "just another mouth to feed" or "hadn't eaten for many days."

9

SF: You took me through the journey and the reasons that Sasorick came to the Pagoda, and I got a good idea where he was going at the end. Good job.

9

Pacing:

ML: You kept breaking up the action to put in introspection. In battle, you shouldn't have the time to do that. It broke up the flow and got tedious, and you frequently said the same thing about three or four times in the same paragraph. Each post needs to be a little less epic and a little more harmonious with the thread as a whole.

3

SF: You did better here, the action kept going on your end.

6

Setting:

ML: It started off as solid and bland, and then you guys started ignoring the setting almost altogether, save for the dust and boxes.

4

SF: See Lorenor's comment, with the addition that you used it like I think a little guy ought to.

5

Persona:

ML: You did a good job of showing me Lorenor's emotions, and I got a better feel for him than I have in the past. One thing worth mentioning, though: you sounded really detatched when describing Lorenor in pain. Show, don't tell, and your score here will pick up.

6

SF: You did a good job here of showing Sasorick as a tiny but gumptious and humorous little guy.

8

Action:

ML: For the last time, the Scara Brae Knights have NOTHING to do with the Dajas Pagoda. I've told you that before. They especially wouldn't waste at least a half dozen of them to keep ONE little ghoul imprisoned. It's just impractical. If yuo want them as part of your story, have it so that if he leave, they can nab him - that's incentive to stay, or, if you feel you ABSOLUTELY need them, they can be the equivalent of those stupid NPCs in video games that do and say nothing worthwhile. They don't jeer, they don't encourage, they don't do anything. There are Pagoda Judges that keep an eye on things within the arenas and send for medical aide - we have a few Ai'Brone monks for that purpose.

Aside from that, I don't understand why he yelled out and surrendered...and then kept fighting for another six printed pages, and a note on dust: it creates friction, not negates it. It's the reason that baseball players can slide into Home Plate.

4

SF: Most of this was sensible for a little 3 pound, 1'1" teddy bear to do...but I do have a couple of notes for you. First, you shouldn't have been able to smash through the box in post 8; it seems like a bit much for a soft and fluffy projectile. Second, in post 16, the sword cutting into Sasorick's belly should have robbed him of both direction and momentum, and you've already established the zenith of Sasorick's jumping capability at 3', not Lorenor's 5'. The attempted kick to the face should have been well beyond his capabilities.

5

Dialogue:

ML: I liked the dialouge in this thread very much. It was both fitting and lively.

9

SF: See Lorenor's comment.

9

Mechanics:

ML: You have a pleothra of comma errors (some sentences require pauses, if you want specific sentences and examples, shoot me a PM). You should also write out numbers and avoid parentheticals whenever possible. You also have some scattered tense mix ups and choppy sentences, but this is the best I've ever seen from you.

7

SF: Don't capitalize after a semi colon, and try to break up some of your longr sentences.

7

Clarity:

ML: Two of George Orwell's tips for writing will serve you well: "never use a long word where a short one will do," and "never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent." Specifically, naming muscle groups was far too specific. Most people don't know them, and to see them in fantasy fiction is annoying, not impressive. Those terms belong in anatomy books for med students and artists to study, not on Althanas.

6

SF: One of Edgar Allen Poe's writing tenents would have done your first post very well: brevity. It was fun and funny, but dragged on and on. The intro sections could have been cut to two paragraphs a pop.

7

Technique:

ML: I noted some decent similes/metaphors, but some of them are kind of worn out.

6

SF: Not much use of formal technique, but there was plenty of humor.

6

Wildcard:

ML: This is honestly the best work I've ever seen from you, and I am pleased with your progress, and look forward to seeing you continue to progress.

7

SF: A fun thread with a fun character. I look forward to seeing more of you around.

6

Totals

ML: 61
SF: 73

Rewards

Stuffed Fury wins score-wise, and gains 1200 EXP.
Mutant Lorenor wins by rules of the Pagoda, and gets 200 EXP, 150 GP, and his souvenir tiny bolt, as well as retaining his Warrior position.

EXP/GP added!