Stupified (Closed)

[Seth_Rahl]

Ifrit looked at the man in the picture. He looked youthful and happy, having light brown hair and wearing a white men's kimono. He had his arms around two children, who were both smiling and laughing. On their back they wore japanese swords, katanas as he had heard they were called. The man named Regrasoon held both of them close as if they were his own children and not just his pupils.

It was hard to imagine that this man was a killer.

But then Ifrit looked at the reward again. 10,000 gold pieces. When Ifrit first heard this, he thought that this was a scam, a joke, and went straight to Devin, the owner of the bounty house, to "bitch 'em out", a term he had just picked up from a nearby bar. However, upon confronting the big man Ifrit was shown the reward and the demon's red eyes went wide. He had to know more about this guy.

Apparently, Regrasoon was a swordsman who had murdered several warriors and their children and families in cold blood. That was enough to make the cambion's blood boil. However, the reason he had 10,000 gold pieces on him is that they had sent over fifteen other bounty hunters to capture the man.

None of them had ever come back. And so, Regrasoon was ranked as a Class A+ Bounty, a legend in the office's books. And now, once more it was being sent out to hunters everywhere.

"I'll take him." Ifrit said to Devin, who merely rubbed his eyes. "What?" Ifrit asked, annoyed by the man's response.

"Ifrit, he's a Class A+ Bounty. Our best warriors haven't been able to defeat him, warriors far greater than--" He stopped there, as Ifrit had swiftly drawn his sword and swung it, ripping a gash into the side wall, which was made of wood and sent bits of wood and splinters everywhere.

"Have any of your warriors been demons?" Ifrit demanded, snarling with his red eyes glowing. "I know they haven't, so don't underestimate me." He tugged his giant blade out of the wall as chunks of wood fell to the ground.

Devin simply looked bored. "Fine." he finally agreed with the demon, handing him the info sheet with his signature on it. This was standard process for high-ranking bounties: They had to make sure each one was accounted for. "But if you go out and get yourself killed, don't let your spirit come crying to me." And with that Devin stood up and went to the huge gash in the wall. He looked to Ifrit. "You know, your going to be paying for this out of your pay."

The demon simply grinned. "With the amount of money that's going to be coming my way, who cares?" and then he stepped out into the sunlight with his information at hand, closing the bounty office door with a loud THUNK.

Devin shook his head once more before picking up the chunks of wood on the ground. He going to get himself killed... The big man thought to himself. He has no idea with who he is dealing with.

---------------------------------

Ifrit began heading for the docks. This bounty, he read, was reportedly found in Akashima, a small sub-country in the mountains of Corone. Well, at least I get to go sight-seeing on the way there... he thought to himself, in a good mood from his acceptance.

As he made his way to the docks, he began wondering if he should travel with others for some reason. What the hell, I don't need anybody. He finally decided, having almost turned back to request other warriors from Devin. I'll be fine on my own.

[Angel of Light]

It was humiliating; utterly unacceptable. The Ai’Bron monks were just as good as she heard they were, bringing her good-as-lifeless corpse back to perfect health as if that’s all they were there for. Which it was. The last thing she saw before the darkness of death clouded her eyes was the green thing that defeated her walking over to the lightning rods and electrocuting himself. It was stupid. He won. Why would he kill himself after winning? When light finally returned to her eyes under the expert supervision of the brown-clad monks, she scowled. What was the point of living when she had lost the match? She had died. Now she didn’t have a single scar on her save the ones she had earned sometime in the black recesses of her mind. She left the pagoda with hardly a thank-you and headed toward the docks. Hitchhiking from Salvar to Scara Brae seemed like such a terrible idea now that she thought about it, but all the same, she knew that she had to get stronger… much stronger.

It was an outburst coming from one of the myriad of buildings that lined the road that gave her an idea of what she could do. The man who had yelled something in a foreign language had, at his belt, a weapon that looked very much like the blade that never left her hand. The simple black saya was as much part of her as an arm was to any human; her katana an extension of her soul. When the argument invariably turned physical as most did, the fiery-haired woman could only stare in awe with flame-red eyes unblinking as his blade danced about. It was… beautiful. It did not take long to find someone who knew of his homeland; the first person she asked laughed that someone with a blade like hers didn’t know of Akashima.

And so it was that she found herself at the ferry station once more. Even doing nothing but gazing at the sea, people still shied away from her. Some pointed at the symbol on her back, two four-pointed stars crossed to form an eight-pointed star with another cross in the center, and discussed among themselves the meaning behind it. She couldn’t care less. Hushed murmurs as people passed by drifted to her ears almost like they wanted her to hear them. Was she part of a noble Akashiman house? What did the symbol mean? What significance did the dragon tattoo on her left forearm have? Was she a renegade?

She was halfway tempted to brandish her blade, but what use would it have? She had already lost to one monster, what good would she be against a human opponent? Almost unnaturally red hair swayed in the calming breeze flowing in from the sea. The amulet that hung between her small breasts was black now. What significance did the golden swirls that sometimes appeared have? Too many unanswered questions, and not a single clue to help her figure them out. Was this what she had heard people call “depression”? The word was so foreign to her ears.

[Seth_Rahl]

As Ifrit came nearer to the boats, a swordfight broke out that caught his eye. It was between a heavy, tall man wielding a broadsword and a smaller man wielding a katana.

It seemed that the smaller man had the advantage of this battle. His speed astounded the demon, and his skill with the blade was astonishing. Ifrit barely had time to think that this man could be a Bladewraith when the fight was over, the heavier man slashed across the chest with the katana.

He clutched his chest in pain as the crowd stared at the man. Ifrit looked him over again. He was slightly taller than Ifrit, and wore a black kimono with a farmer's hat upon his head, obviously to keep the sun out of his eyes. The way the blade shone in the sunlight was beautiful to the demon as the warrior sheathed the blade back into its scabbard, it making a bell like ringing sound as the blade dissapeared. The heavier man was breathing heavily, as he pointed at the white-robed man with one fat finger. "Y-y-you..." he started.

"Next time you start something, make sure you can finish it." the man spoke, and Ifrit was surprised to hear the voice of a boy. Or at least a younger man. Then the "man" took off his hat to reveal a youthful face full of happiness and joy, probably since he had just won the battle, and easily at that. "Or don't start it at all." With that the black robed man stepped away and began walking, the crowd dispersing as the fight came to its close.

Ifrit started to follow the boy/man, when he noticed one other doing the same thing. She had flaming red hair and flaming red eyes, and they stared in astonishment at the receding swordsman. Ifrit decided instead that he should approach her about him, as she seemed to be as interested in the man as he.

As he came up to her, he made sure to make some noise as he walked, lest he startle her and make her draw her own blade, which he also noticed was a katana. "Do you know who that one is?" he said calmly, his blood red eyes focusing upon hers as her jabbed one gloved thumb the receding swordsman's way.

[Angel of Light]

Rays of late afternoon sun graced the boardwalk as the redhead played the fight over and over in her mind. The smaller man had been so fast that she had almost lost track of his movements. Yes, she would certainly have to go to his homeland. Glancing over her shoulder, one man stood out from the crowd, and he was looking straight at her. A strong gust of wind blew her white trench coat across her body as her left hand instinctively found the hilt of her blade. There was something about his eyes that unnerved her.

He spoke.

“Other than the fact that he’s from Akashima, I don’t know anything about him. What’s it to you, demon?”

Yes, that was what unnerved her so. Through the black veil in her mind, one thing stood out above everything else. All the demons she had apparently slain before something displaced her onto this world had one thing in common, and the man her fiery red eyes were now locked on had the same thing. He had a demon’s eyes. No matter what form they took, only the strongest of demons could hide the lust for destruction that swam in their souls, and that lust was communicated through the smallest of motions, even unconsciously. Yes, he had a demon’s eyes. Well, that certainly brought her out of her slump easily enough. She straightened back up as a strange smile found her face, a smile she hadn’t seen in quite some time… genuine amusement.

“And why would you ask me if I knew him? Just because I have this blade you lump me into the same group as that boy? Don’t insult me like that.”

Her words had an edge to them that she couldn’t really remember putting there, like she was taunting the demon in a language it didn’t understand and she had to emphasize certain words to get the point across. Where were these words coming from all of a sudden, anyway? It felt right, it felt nice, and most importantly, it was natural. Was this the person she had been before coming to this world? Four onlookers had already stopped their errands in hopes of seeing another display of Akashiman swordsmanship, but Adelia had no intentions of fighting any more than the demon did, she figured. Otherwise, he would have certainly attacked her by now.

[Seth_Rahl]

Ifrit stared at her red eyes and saw that she was frightened of him slightly. Inwardly Ifrit rolled his eyes, but did not let that show to the Akashiman girl.

Suddenly she began questioning him and became all defensive. Her words were like blades themselves, and he could almost feel the edge behind them slicing into his skin and cutting his writsts. Almost.

And yet there was that slight fear behind her eyes still, and Ifrit had to remind himself to stop that. He was a demon, he had to remember, and people were naturally afraid of demons.

"It means alot to me, girl." It took him a couple more seconds to realize he had lost his own composure and snarled, letting some of his demon voice into his throat. Regaining the composure he had so easily lost, he straightened up and looked her back in the eyes again. "I did not relate you to him because of your blade. It was because of the way you were looking at him that caused me to ask." He bowed slightly, his black hair flowing to cover his eyes now. "My apologies." And he started to walk away, unsheathing the giant mechanical and yet demonic looking falchion upon his back with a metallic ring in the air. Several people backed up so fast that a few stumbled and tripped over their own feet as they sought to get out of the demon's way.

Ifrit did not know why he had drawn his blade. Perhaps it was pure instinct, perhaps an unconcious need to battle. But suddenly the swordsman that was growing closer and closer seemed much more interesting than a mere curiousity.

Suddenly the man in the black kimono turned around from where he was going and looked around, obviously confused about something. He was no more than twenty feet away from Ifrit when his grey eyes locked upon Ifrit's and then moved to the sword. The boy/man gasped and pointed at the blade, saying with a slightly adolescent squeal, "I know that blade!"

[Angel of Light]

Well, if nothing else, the demon knew how to lose his cool. If all it took to flare him up was a few words, then- no, something wasn’t quite right. She didn’t need to taunt him any more. She wasn’t afraid of him, but rather at what she had just thought about doing. Why had the urge to incinerate him burned so fiercely in her mind? It was strange, and the ease at which the thought penetrated her mind scared her. She almost didn’t hear his calm apology and explanation.

“The way I was… looking at him?” Confusion was the dominant emotion this time, rearing its ugly head for the first time in quite a while. Oh how things were so much simpler when you didn’t have to think about all these things.

The demon walked away, unsheathing his blade as he did so. More confusion. If he wanted to fight, why was he walking away? This demon made no sense. He wasn’t bloodthirsty, he wasn’t insane, he wasn’t hideous, and he most certainly wasn’t radiating a killing intent. What was he? The swordsman with the katana seemed interested in him, or more precisely, his sword, which piqued Adelia’s interest in him as well. What was so special about a sword? Swords were tools for killing. Nothing more, nothing less. Sure she had heard of people naming their blades, but what was the use in that? She brought her unnamed katana up closer to her eye level and flicked a small piece of the blade out of the saya. It was a well-crafted blade and had stood up to things that would have turned a normal sword into a piece of scrap metal, but that was all.

A blade is a blade, just as one life is no more important than another.

The thought’s “voice” was deep, like a man’s voice, but nobody was close enough to speak to her that loudly. It also wasn’t her thought. Only a slight warming sensation against her chest made her look down to her amulet. Flecks of gold swirled around a dimly glowing amber core that pulsed in asynchronous rhythm with her heart.

Your memory has not fully returned, it seems.

The amulet glowed brighter as the voice resounded in her skull. It was a familiar voice. It was the one that told her what her name was when she first awoke in the hospital on this world.

You would do well to follow that man.

And then it was black once more. The fiery-haired woman casually walked closer to the demon, both to listen to what he was saying to the boy and to hopefully glean more personal information about him. Most notably: where he was headed. People didn’t simply hang out at the docks for no reason.

[Seth_Rahl]

Ifrit stopped in his tracks, his red eyes narrowing. This swordsman, or should he say, swordsboy, claimed he knew of Ifrit's sword. "What?" Ifrit growled, his demonic side creeping into his voice once more. "You know my blade?"

"Yeah!" the boy looked excited, almost jumping up and down in excitement. "Its name is Beowulf, right?"

Now at this the half demon blinked. How did this shrimp know Ifrit's sword's name? It unnerved the demon, and he showed it as he tensed up. "Who in all of hell are you?" Ifrit growled again, taking a couple steps forward. The crowd was dispersing, sensing danger, as the air around Ifrit began to shimmer, his demonic aura increasing. If he had to fight, he thought to himself, he would fight at his full strength, even though this kid must be not even 16.

"Now now..." the boy laughed. His hand hadn't even grazed the hilt of his blade, and Ifrit remembered the speed of the swordsman and realized it wouldn't have mattered. The boy was simply too good. "I don't mean you any harm. In fact..." The boy smiled as he reached beneath his kimono and pulled out a tear-drop shaped ruby on a chain. "...I think we are allies."

Ifrit stared. It was a Bladewraith amulet, alright, the genuine thing. Immediately the demonic tension sighed out of Ifrit like steam as he slightly relaxed, but he still kept a grip on his blade. "You...are a Bladewraith?" Ifrit said. "So that explains it."

"Yep!" the boy bounced on the balls of his feet as he came towards the demon, hands in the folds of his sleeves. "I'm Kurana Toki'Ana, 4th seat of the 1st Company." The boy said proudly.

Ifrit arched an eyebrow in surprise. The first company was reserved for the elite of the elite of the Bladewraiths, and its captain was probably the strongest Bladewraith known to mankind. To hear that this boy had been accepted, and 4th seat at that, made Ifrit take Kurana all the more seriously. "Wow. Who taught you?"

The boy laughed, but turned serious as he looked to the docks. "A man who lives in Akashima now. And you, Ifrit?" The boy suddenly turned the conversation over to him, and Ifrit found this suspicious even as surprise once more took him. He knew his name?
"Oh, everyone knows about you, Captain Ifrit Obsidian." the boy said quickly, as if reading the demon's thoughts. "You are the captain of the Seventh company."

The demon chuckled, and he completely forgot about the red-headed girl and everything else as he chatted with the swordsman animatedly. It was nice, he thought, to finally talk to another like him.

[Angel of Light]

Now if seeing two complete strangers suddenly recognize each other wasn’t strange, Adelia didn’t know what was. Her bout of depression was long over ever since her amulet had spoken to her; now she was feeling curious. How could these two people know each other? Or more accurately… how did the boy know the man with the oversized blade? Through the thinning crowd, the flame-haired woman watched as people backed away from what they figured to be another imminent fight. Had she not been so curious as to what would happen next, she probably would have given the demon a wide berth as well.

Bladewraiths? What in the nine hells is a bladewraith? Adelia thought. And wasn’t big dude just about to kill the snot-nosed brat?

Whatever a bladewraith was, apparently it was enough for the two men to set aside their differences. And forget about her, apparently. Another new feeling welled up inside her. She wanted to run away and board the nearest whip, but she also wanted to kick the man’s face in. Jealousy. Why would she be blazing jealous? She didn’t have any reason to be, other than perhaps the man had spoken to her for a moment. Yes, they had spoken, but why would an exchange of words cause this strange feeling? It made no sense.

Gripping her saya tighter, the red-eyed woman took heavy, noticeable steps all the way to the demon’s back. The way the reinforced sheath clicked against the ground was a clear indication of irritation and would certainly alert him to her presence once more. If it didn’t… the fact that she was now aiming a strike with her sheathed blade to his ribs would certainly get his attention.

“You there, boy.” There was no question about who she was speaking to, especially when she was staring straight at the younger man. “You said you learned from someone in Akashima. Who was your master?”

[Seth_Rahl]

It was odd to the devil that another Bladewraith would be here, in Scara Brae of all places. Especially one of the First Company: while being the Elite, they also had a job as lawkeepers of the Bladewraiths, and spent most of their time reinforcing those laws back at headquarters.

Unless....Ifrit had a thought, but before he could voice it the girl whom he had forgotten about came up to his side and glared with red, fierce eyes up at the curious swordsman. "You there, boy." Ifrit realized she was talking to the white robed boy and he cocked an eyebrow. "You said you learned from someone in Akashima. Who was your master?" She spoke with a great authority behind her voice, and Ifrit could tell that she was one who was used to getting what she wanted, via it be by request for force. Her blade clicked against the ground in its decorative sheath and Ifrit was reminded of his comrade Beniiro's own blade, Zakega. The two blades were certainly similar, he thought as he examined the girl's sword.

It was none of his concern, however, as now the white robed boy stepped back and shook his head. "I'm not allowed to reveal that information to anyone other than my own." As he said this the boy's grey eyes flicked to Ifrit and back to the girl, signaling that she could be dangerous. Ifrit had spent enough time at Bladewraith headquarters to know the basics of body language, so he shook two fingers down by his side in a silent response. It was a negative, meaning that Ifrit didn't agree. Kurana frowned slightly and made the same motion with his eyes again, but once more Ifrit made the same motion down by his side.

"Yes, Kurana, why don't you tell us: who is your master?" Ifrit spoke all of a sudden, breaking the growing silence, and even though his tone was still polite there was an edge to it now that suggested the intensity of the situation.

Kurana slightly paled at the pairs of glowing red eyes that now stared at him from both Ifrit and the girl and he groaned allowed. Ifrit smiled, knowing that his words had the desired effect. Even though this Kurana might be a better swordsman that Ifrit himself, there was still the question of superiority, and by rights since Ifrit was a Captain this boy had to do what Ifrit commanded or be subject to punishment by his own Captain.

"Fine..." The boy grumbled, looking around wary. "But I have to catch a boat: its leaving to Akashima in a few minutes. Would you care to join me, Ifrit?" The boy asked, leaving the girl ignored once more.

However, Ifrit wouldn't let Kurana do that. "Yes, we would." He smiled as he responded, before whispering out of the corner of his mouth to the smaller girl, "Actually, would you?"

[Angel of Light]

Hand-talk was something that Adelia had never given much thought to. You either said nothing or you spoke what you wanted; nothing more, nothing less. She could, however, read between some lines. The curt response she garnered from the boy was something she wasn’t quite used to, and the response had set her on edge. She could probably draw her blade and cut at least part of his arm before he could react.

No, now is not the time.

Her amulet spoke again to her mind, and her muscles tensed. She didn’t need to notice his eyes or Ifrit’s motions to know that they were arguing in the silence. She had seen it many times in her veiled youth. Her mother would say something, her father would say something, and then they would talk silently with their eyes when they realized she was listening. If anything, their silent arguments were fiercer than their verbal ones. But the demon did something unexpected to break the silence. Of course he spoke, but his words were unexpected. He reiterated her question.

“I would love to go. I have been meaning to get away from this place for some time now.”

[Seth_Rahl]

The waves crashed as the large boat swept through them, gliding through the water like an eel. It wasn't a majestic battleship or anything of the sorts, but it served its purpose. The mid day light gleamed off its hull as Ifrit stood on the deck with the female akashiman and Kurana, who looked nervously down at the girl.

Honestly, Ifrit didn't know what his problem was with her. She had only seemed curious, and since she was a swordswoman it only made sense that she would want to know who his master was. And yet, Kurana seemed uncomfortable around her, as he fingered the hilt of his Akashiman blade nervously. Ifrit glanced down at those fingers and remembered the speed of which they had drawn that deadly weapon, and edged a little away. If Kurana decided they were too dangerous to let live, or some other strange, odd reason for him to draw his blade against them, Ifrit doubted he could draw his own blade in time to block the blow.

"My master..." The boy swordsman suddenly spoke up, and Ifrit glanced sharply as he broke the incoming silence. "...is a recluse of sorts. He lives in Akashima now, and he is the master of a small dojo in the mountains, I believe."

"You believe?" Ifrit poked a question into the reiterated words.

"I don't know. I haven't seen him in years." The boy shook his head as he spoke, his white robes flowing in the wind. "Last time I did, it was before I even became a Bladewraith."

Ifrit frowned. If it was a man who was a Bladewraith, then the boy would have been taught in headquarters, not before initiation. "He was that good of a swordsman to teach you?" Ifrit intoned, placing on boot on the edge of the hull deck. He looked out across the sea as his red eyes scanned the horizen. No trouble yet...He thought to himself. For the past few minutes he had been getting a sense of apprehension running down his spine that he usually related to ambushes and attacks. This feeling had saved his life on many occasions, and he had learned to trust it.

"Yes, yes he was." The boy spoke up as he noticed the demon captain watching the sea intently. "What are you looking for?"

"Danger." He glanced sideways at the warrioress beside him and noted the way she held herself. While he didn't know her personally, he didn't sense anything out of the ordinary with her, and concluded the danger couldn't be coming from her.

So it could only be coming from three places: the sea, the sky and the boat itself.

Sorry if I bunnied your character a bit.

[Angel of Light]

The sea… a place where most people relaxed and even more people lounged around like nothing could ever happen. Perhaps it was because of the general laid-back atmosphere of the voyage that Adelia felt so uncomfortable. The fact that she was completely surrounded by water didn’t help things either. Her first voyage to Scara Brae had been just as uncomfortable, but she dealt with it just as she was dealing now: sitting with her back to a particularly large crate with her eyes closed. The motion of the boat rocking over the waves was soothing when she considered it to be a skyship ferrying her between Havens back home. That was another piece of her memory that had been brought to the light recently.

Great islands floating high in the sky, shrouded by clouds and spells that only let those bidden enter. She had lived in a haven once, though she couldn’t figure out why. There was something buried behind a torrent of fiery blood, but that was all she could make out no matter how hard she tried. There were probably Havens even here on Althanas.

The boy spoke to the demon in hesitant conversation, words that easily reached the redhead’s ears. How could someone be so elegant and graceful in battle yet so insecure around others? It made almost as much sense as someone who had no battle ability bragging and flaunting in a citadel. Or someone who knew absolutely nothing of herself acting like everything was all right. At least a few of the pieces were falling slowly into place.

But there was apprehension in the air, and she didn’t need a sixth sense to feel something amiss. Even the normal passengers were guarding their conversations more than they should. People stopped walking around as much… the overall noise level diminished to little more than the waves crashing against the sturdy ferry. It was at that moment when everyone might have been standing on thin ice over hungry sharks that Adelia opened her blazing eyes. Something had to be coming. She just knew it.

“Ifrit, boy, have you heard tales of things happening in these waters? I cannot say I am familiar with the lore of these parts.” Authority and calm, blessed calm rolled from her tongue. It was that reassuring voice that military commanders used when leading their troops into what they suspected to be a deathtrap. They knew it was dangerous and would probably kill them all, but to hells with the notion that they were going to go in scared! “Everyone feels it.”

I don’t mind time-skip bunnies.

[Seth_Rahl]

The girl finally spoke once more, her voice calm and strong, perceptive and quick. She questioned the demon by his name, and at first he was startled that she knew it. But then he remembered the the other swordsman had mentioned it outloud. Sighing, Ifrit responded. "No, I am unfamiliar with the seas sorrounding Akashima." He noticed Kurana looking off to the north with a furrowed brow. "Although your right in that aspect. I feel it too. Maybe it would be best if we wen--"

Suddenly something hit the boat. Passengers were sent flying off their feet as the boat tipped sideways at a 60 % angle, and Ifrit felt his own feet sliding out before him. He grabbed onto the collars of the girl and the white robed swordsman before using what traction he had left to slow down the three's decent down towards the incoming sea. Fortunately, the boat righted itself soon enough, and the passengers lay heaving and coughing on the wooden deck of the boat. Ifrit let go of the two's collars, apologizing with his eyes as he looked towards the door that led to the inside of the ship as it banged open.

"What in blazes--" The captain, a big, heavyset man of maybe in his fifties came out, red faced and shaking his fists at his crew. "--is going on out here!" His voice echoed throughout the boat. "Men, drop that anchor! Everyone else, make sure the women an children get downstai--" His orders were interrupted, however, as another blow rocked the heavy boat, and once more everyone found themselves sliding back towards the sea.

[Angel of Light]

Yes, everyone felt it; the knowledge that something inevitable was about to happen, but nobody quite knew when. The demon started to respond to her query, stating that he felt it as well, but midway through his answer the ship listed so suddenly and severely that the redhead didn’t have the presence of mind to stop her feet from sliding. At first, she wanted to glare at Ifrit for grabbing her by the collar of her blouse, but when she saw the sea churning like boiling water, she was immediately grateful. Even though she could walk on walls, walking on water was another thing entirely.

The ship righted itself and the captain rushed out from his all-too-comfortable quarters, froth flying from his mouth as he demanded to know, of all things, what was going on. Yet even in a time of crisis, he still managed to get the default captain’s orders out into the air. Adelia scowled; she wasn’t going to huddle beneath the deck with the rest of the cowards.

The ship rocked again, sharper than the last time. Not fully aware of the situation, the fiery redhead was still more prepared than the last time. The ship rocked, but she did not move even an inch on the rain-slicked wooden planks. It was just like running along walls at home or slick surfaces suspended miles up in the sky. All she had to do was will herself to not fall and she could walk as though the surface was perfectly dry and horizontal.

A woman screamed as her child started falling to the water below. Blazing red eyes didn’t even have time to register where the scream originated from before her feet started moving of their own accord, defying gravity and logical thought alike as she raced toward the falling child. One, two, three, four, five… She mentally counted her steps and the remaining distance to the falling form. She would make it in time, but her ability to defy the natural laws wouldn’t last that long. There was only one thing she could do; jump. At step nineteen, her foot started slipping; step twenty she pushed off from the deck boards like tumbling forward and to her right, toward the raised side of the ship.

Her arms reached for the child, a young boy no older than seven, and held him tightly to her body as her feet fought against the added weight to recover their traction. The jump subjected her to the full fury of natural rules, if only for a moment, but it also allowed her a fresh start to break them again. The problem was that she wasn’t used to the extra weight of the boy. He held on tighter and tighter as she continued to slide until his strength alone kept him from falling from her body. Again without thought, she unsheathed her blade and plunged the razor-edged metal into a crack between the boards. She braced herself for the jolt of a lifetime, and she certainly wasn’t disappointed when the blade struck a crossbeam.

She cringed as muscle and tendon alike strained against the force of gravity, but she would not allow her shoulder to pop out of socket. It still hurt incredibly, but when the ship listed back to normal, she fell over and started massaging her left shoulder. It had been partially dislocated, but not fully. When the first wave of endorphins flowed from her brain, she took hold of her arm and slid the bones back into alignment. The terrible pain made her cringe again, overpowering even the natural painkiller’s power to reduce it. It wasn’t completely useless, but her good arm would need some time to heal. Time that she didn’t have. She slid her sheath into a thin white belt and twisted it once around with her right arm, tying it off slightly and locking it into place. Even one-handed, she could still fight if she had to.

[Seth_Rahl]

"Shit--" Ifrit snarled as he watched the girl with the blazing red eyes fall towards the sea, where now a child was crying as he too was to be sucked away into the distant broiling froth. It was his turn to be amazed, however, when she suddenly began running on the surface of the almost flipped-over boat, her light feet skimming the top of the wooden planks as she flew towards the child. In an acrobatic leap she flew through the air and grabbed the child. Ifrit would have cried out in joy if not had he seen the path her trajectory would have taken her, straight towards the depths of the sea. He released a pent up breath as suddenly she whipped out her own blade and impaled it into the ship's hull, holding her and the child in her arm from falling to the water where several others now were drowning.

The boat righted itself once more, and Ifrit fell to the ground as gravity righted itself once more. Letting go of the side of the ship, where he had latched onto with his clawed hand, and setting Kurana down, who looked pale-faced at this near death experience and at the demon's death-grip around his his arm. "What in God's name was that?" the kid gasped, as he stumbled to his feet. Ifrit stayed on the ground, getting used to the feel of solid flooring once more before even attempting to stand. "I don't think God had anything to do with it, kid..." Ifrit grumbled, and looked over to check up on the flame haired girl. She was massaging her left shoulder now, and he saw her cringe in pain, but still through that pain she continued to work on her arm, and he saw that it had been hurt in a strange way. When she tied her sheath to her side with just one arm, Ifrit got a bad feeling that she was now only one-armed, at least for the time being.

"Sea devils..." A man growled, and Ifrit turned to recognize the captain twirling his thick mustache while his other hand was place against the side of the captain's lodge for support. "Ah should've known. Men, get the women an' children downstairs, now! All others who can fight, get ready, cause we got trouble a brewin'."

As if by magic that the words he spoke could bring about catastrophe, something leapt out of the sea, a beast of some sorts. Several other, smaller, dark figures began leaping out as well, latching onto the sides of the ship and Ifrit could hear the scraping of claws on wood.

"It's a demon..." Kurana said plainly, gazing at the monstrosity that had made its way onto the deck. The thing was over fifteen feet tall, and where its skin should have been was instead seaweed. Twin wings sprouted from its back, made out of seaweed themselves, and glowing eyes stared down at the scrambling crew as they stumbled around for orders and weapons.

Ifrit would have never guess that this thing was a demon had he not sensed its aura. It was huge--this was no ordinary demon. This one might have been living on for thousands of years, swirling in the sea, until...

Wait, that didn't make any sense. Why would such a powerful demon make its appearence now of all times? And why attack the ship? Ifrit saw Kurana's hand slowly move towards the hilt of the young man's blade, and Ifrit stopped him with a look. "What?" Kurana whispered to the Bladewraith Captain, his face showing frustration.

"I'm a demon too, remember? Maybe I can sort this out." Without a second word to the swordsman he strode up to the giant being, who towered over him easily. "Who are you and what are you doing here, Great One?" Ifrit spoke in high demonic, using the formal word for seniority in his address to the demon. He bowed his head as he spoke, to show complacency and respect. "We are but simple travelers who wish to pa--" Ifrit tried continuing on when suddenly a scaled tail whipped out from nowhere and sent the half demon flying, straight through a wall and into the captain's lodge.

[Angel of Light]

Sea devils. Now there was something you didn’t see every day. Wind devils, maybe. Dust devils… no, those were different. Sea devils? They didn’t dare show themselves above the surface of their sea if they even existed at all back home, so when the monstrosity broke the surface and leapt into the boat, a rare stunned look graced the redhead’s countenance. Two thoughts ran through her head in that instant, but the first one managed to beat up and kick the second one aside, so she was left with only one thing to say.

“Man… that thing is ugly.”

She didn’t really care if it heard her or not; it stunk and all the seaweed that comprised its body was starting to make the land-loving woman nauseous. Even the goons that sprang from the waters were uglier than most anything she had ever seen, and living in a city of demons most of her life, she had seen some pretty disgusting things. Towering almost three times her height, the seaweed-demon-thing apparently didn’t take kindly to the other demon’s attempt to talk to it. She didn’t understand many of the words, but she had only been taught a little basic demonic at the Haven.

Adelia’s mind froze for a moment. How was she remembering all this? She drew her blade unceremoniously with her right hand and forced her will into it, igniting the reinforced blade with a deep red flame. Yes, it was her fiery will that was the source of her strength. With that revelation came a renewed sense of purpose; she wasn’t about to let some piece of overgrown seaweed do whatever it wanted.

And so you re-awaken, my precious Feuer.

The pendant hanging around her neck swirled with gold-flecked brilliance as a smile crept across her face to replace the shock that had been there moments before. Alastor; that was the name of the entity speaking to her mind. Ever so slowly, the flames surrounding her blade died down as the metal itself glowed brighter and brighter orange.

“Hey, seaweed-face!” She yelled from her position nearly half the ship’s length away, “What’s up with all these minions? Afraid you can’t take us on alone?!”

There was a confidence in her step that wasn’t there just a minute ago. Flames flickered in her eyes and the skin on her arms shimmered slightly with each step. Pale flesh finally gave way to sparkling red dragon scales up and down the entire length of her arms when she stopped out of reach from any of the demon’s limbs.

“I could take you on one-handed. By Alastor’s flame, you will burn.”

[Seth_Rahl]

A random question, but is your character based off a manga? Because I read a manga where the main character is very similar to yours. Anyways, sorry bout not posting earlier, i'll be right on it.

Ifrit shoved through the wreakage that was now the captain's cabin and unsheathed the blade upon his back. The demonic steel shone in the sunlight as he twirled the blade around his head in a show-off fashion. "Now i'm pissed..." He snarled, and he stalked towards the giant demon, which had its back turned to him. A dark form, lithe and sleek, shot out of the water and landed on the deck, right near Kurana's foot. It was vaguely human, save for black scales and green, slitted eyes, with claws and fangs and its feet were all webbed. On its bald skull two horns protruded out, and a long, prehensible tail waved about in the air, a single spike decorating the end.

A low-rank demon...Ifrit thought, trying to solve the mystery of this ancient being's sudden appearence. ...probably just an underling. But still dangerous enough to be deadly. "Kurana!" Ifrit shouted, cupping his clawed fingers around his mouth to make sure the young swordsman could hear him. "Take care of the small fry!"

The white robed boy nodded and his eyes tightened as they watched the crawling form of the demon. Slowly, the boy's right hand went to the katana by his side, and as the hand found the hilt the black demon hissed, a forked tongue spitting at the swordsman. Ifrit couldn't watch much longer, however, as a young, femenine voice from beyond the humongous form of the devil interrupted his thoughts. "Hey, seaweed-face!" she yelled as Ifrit snuck around the demon, careful to avoid the dripping bits of seaweed. He was surprised to find the young girl he had picked up standing defiantly beneath the towering form of the creature, her blade in her remaining useful one hand. Ifrit was about to yell for her to get out of there when he noticed her eyes and her blade both flickering with flame. Her arms shimmered like rubies in the sunlight, and suddenly red scales, like those of a lizard or demon, covered both of her arms like armor.

This new revelation shocked Ifrit. Was she a demon as well? Unconciously checking her aura, he saw that while it was intense and chaotic, it lacked that property that Ifrit had come to associate with demons. However, the amulet hanging around her neck was another story. Unlike her aura, this was blue, cold, calculating. It was as if the amulet had a life of its own.

Ifrit shook his head, clearing his eyes of the auras. Right now, it didn't matter. What mattered was them getting out alive. Sprinting as if his life depended on it, he ran around the wide creature and slid to a stop next to the strong form of the young girl. As he held his blade in front of him with his left hand diagonally, in his armored right hellfire flame conjured and condensed into a fireball that soon screamed like a banshee in the air. The demon simply looked at the two of them with disinterest, not moving one inch.

"What the hell do you want?!" Ifrit screamed in High Demonic once more, trying to get through to the beast. However, it seemed his efforts were in vain, as soon as he spoke that scaled tail that had knocked him through a wall came swinging around once more. "Duck--" He managed to make out to the girl beside him before he took his own advice and dropped to the deck on one knee.

[Angel of Light]

The sea demon swung its great tail again, apparently in response to the words the demon bedside her was saying. It was only natural; after all, who wanted their food to talk back when asked to die? Instead of ducking as Ifrit suggested, Adelia decided to use her body to whatever advantage she could. That did not involve closing her avenues of attack and playing defensive.

Light feet shuffled back one full step, finding solid footing despite the swaying of the boat. It was no different fighting in a sea bound boat than a cloud soarer. At least falling overboard didn’t mean plummeting miles and miles to your death. It was almost nostalgic; the last time she had been attacked on a boat it had been a sky dragon. At least she wasn’t by herself this time.

The tail soared through the space she had been, singing a high-pitched whine as it went. Getting hit would most definitely hurt. One step in, swing. A horizontal sweep at the legs was the easiest to do since his knees were just below her eye level, so she took advantage of the seaweed demon’s momentary blind spot. The blade found “flesh”, and the disgusting sizzle of wet seaweed boiling immediately filled the air. The strike didn’t have the effect she was hoping for, though. Instead of severing the tendon just underneath and behind its kneecap and sending it writhing to the deck, the sword just stuck there, smoldering.

The demon didn’t take kindly to this attack, however. With a roar and something that she was glad she couldn’t translate, it swung a monstrous claw to bat the painful annoyance away. Even though Adelia was a bit ambidextrous, her right arm was still weaker than her left. Normally she would have been able to yank her sword free in one go, but it took two pulls and an “assist” from the demon. This is to say, it hit her hard and square in the chest.

Its fingers were webbed, not clawed, but the sheer force of the strike sent her rolling halfway across the ship. The only thing that stopped her from going any farther was the pair of sailors she ran into, but even then they grunted from the impact. The world was spinning as she tried fruitlessly to get up; her chest had a rather sharp pain every time she took a breath, most likely a broken rib or two. Unless the ferry from Scara Brae to Corone carried healers regularly, she wasn’t going to be getting back into the fight any time soon.

“Just keep me still,” She spoke sharply to the sailors who were now looking at her like she was either crazy or the bravest person ever. “And if there are any healers on board, I need one as soon as possible.”

Nope, she wasn’t getting up any time soon. Her blade, no longer glowing, was somewhere else on deck, as was her saya.

Maybe I should rethink my strategy next time…

[Seth_Rahl]

The demon had finally spoken, but Ifrit had trouble comprehending what it had said. Sone of a bitch...he swore mentally as the girl foolishly attacked the ancient demon on her own. Ifrit wasn't sure if even the two of them could handle this monster, let alone the girl herself. His fears were justified when she was knocked to the deck and lay there clutching her chest. Unconciously Ifrit checked her aura, and saw that the red flaming aura she had exhibited earlier had dissapeared.

Ifrit leapt at the creature with his blade in both hands now, eyes blazing red as he locked onto its form. It swiped upwards at him swiftly with its giant hands but he blocked it by thrusting his blade fowards against the hand, the sharp edge of the falchion cutting against the rough skin. Even though it cut, though, no blood came out and the monster didn't seem to achknowledge the fact it was being wounded. Ifrit snarled as he was sent flying once more by the mere force of the blow and made sure to grip his sword tightly as to not lose it. Looking behind him quickly he saw he was about to crash through the deck, so he used what air time he had had left to thrust his blade downwards, the tip stabbing through the wood to slow down his speed and descent, but alas his blade caught in the wood and stuck, and he was still sent flying like a bullet from a gun. Crashing into the side of the ship and almost falling over it, Ifrit snarled as pain racked his back.

"That's not gonna bring me down..." Ifrit taunted the beast, wiping spit from his lips with his left hand and beckoning the monster onward. Walking forward quickly he grabbed his blade and pulled hard, releasing it from the cluthches of the ship and back into his hand. Stopping by the fallen girl, he knelt down and whispered, "Unless your not afraid of fire, which I don't think you are, I'd recommend getting out of here. Its about to get ho--"

A scream, high pitched and inhuman, interrupted Ifrit, and he quickly spun around to view the source of the noise. The minion that Kurana had been facing was now stumbling around on its two remaining legs, its head, tail, and front two legs being sliced off by some incredibly sharp blade. Kurana simply stood there, face impassive, as he slowly sheathed his blade and Ifrit saw red blood staining the steel's edge. Daaaaamn. Ifrit thought momentarily before another scream brought him back to attention.

The ancient demon was now making its move, moving towards the captain's quarters, and the crushed body of a sailor lay in the grip of its prehensible tail. "Shit..." He murmured, and with his clawed arm Ifrit picked up the form of the girl, wrapping it around her waist before picking her up and holding her like a kitten. Even though he was much stronger than the average man, the feat still required some effort since he was doing it one handed, his blade in his other hand. "I apologize about this." He said quickly to her before running to where Kurana was standing guard.

"Kurana..." He spoke quickly now, out of urgency, and the younger swordsman could see it in the devil's eyes. "I need you to protect her. I'm going to try and stop this bastard." Setting the girl down he looked her in her fierce red eyes in a silent command to stay where she was. Looking back to the white robed swordsman, he spoke once more. "You can do that, right?"

"No problem." Kurana wasn't smiling. His expression had changed from one of joyful youth to one of an experienced swordsman. Without waiting for further words Ifrit took off running, leaping into the air once more as the opponent turned around. However, something struck the devil from the side and sent him sprawling, and Ifrit snarled in rage and pain as he rolled and used the momentum to soften the impact. One of the demons that the beast had summoned had surprised Ifrit, striking him from the side.

"Shit..." Ifrit swore as two more minions came up from behind him. He would have called for help, but the girl was useless right now and Kurana was busy holding the minions off on that side of the ship, and the sailors were all but bait for the beasts.

The demon swordsman was trapped.

[Angel of Light]

The pain that coursed through Adelia’s body as she lay on the deck of the ship was more excruciating than anything she had ever felt before. Through clenched teeth, the redhead forced her will over her body to the best of her ability, trying to tell her brain to release more endorphins. There was no help in massaging the area; that would only risk shifting the bones and possibly causing the shards to puncture important internal organs.

For a few precious moments, the pain slowly subsided to a bearable level. That was before the pig-headed bastard demon decided to pick her limp body up one-handed and hauled her around the boat! In an instant, pain that put her previous agony to shame raced throughout her body, and utter torment filled the broken, blood-curdling screams of pain that issued out of her mouth. In between screams, terrible strings of curses assaulted Ifrit ruthlessly. Slowly, the screams started to become slightly wet-sounding as blood and other fluids gradually filled her lungs. The newfound pain only redoubled her efforts to slaughter the demon with her words.

Below the deck of the ferry, the screams of agony were more than a little unnerving to the assembled masses of innocent travelers. A young man no more than a day over twenty cringed as the shrieks reached his ears, and the red cross tattooed on his neck almost burned from his will to ease her pain. It was a long, arduous process convincing the sailors to allow him back above deck, but he finally won them over by saying he could stop her from screaming until everyone’s ears started bleeding.

A nondescript blue shirt, messy brown hair, and hazel eyes all suggested that he was a simple traveler. Well, in the most basic sense, he was. A knack for healing was the only thing that set him apart from the useless rubble that hid from the first sign of danger; a knack he was going to put to good use now. He walked across the deck, completely unafraid of the minions that assaulted the few men still fighting back against them. It was like a bubble had formed around him, because any time he came within six feet of a lesser demon, they immediately jumped out of his way. No matter how twisted or evil, very few things were willing to knowingly harm a healer.

The screams were even more terrible above deck, but he had heard them many times before. A gentle hand on the fiery-haired woman’s forehead quieted her some, and a caressing touch silenced her almost completely. His hands glowed with a holy radiance as he administered magical pain killers; he couldn’t concentrate with her thrashing around and giving him a headache.

“It’s going to be all right. You’re in good hands now.” His voice was soothing, and slightly hypnotizing. Close to passing out from the sheer volume of pain she had recently been put through, now she felt tired. Her eyelids were heavy, and she couldn’t move her body. “You broke three ribs. I don’t know how they moved into such dangerous positions, though. I’m afraid something this serious is bordering on the capabilities of even my master.”

Adelia was practically asleep now, only aware of her environment through the warm hands of the healer as he examined her entire body. She wasn’t embarrassed at all from his actions, and even complied as best she could when he put something hard and smooth in her mouth and asked her to swallow. He said it was a magical item that was going to save her life; it was incredibly rare and she should be considered fortunate to have it administered. The pill was rather large, about the size of his thumbnail, but it almost seemed to disappear partway down her throat. Sleep finally overwhelmed her. It was amazing… all the pain she had felt was but a fleeting memory in the realm of dreams.

“Mitsky… it seems you were right again. This woman is the perfect host for Kelly’s spirit.” The man spoke quietly to himself, saying near the sleeping woman while she was so vulnerable. Only the ancient demon would be willing to harm him, and he had an inkling that that situation could easily be avoided. After all, the demon seemed mainly interested in the other demon. The minions were almost exclusively keeping the other fighter from interfering. This girl… she was a special one.

[Seth_Rahl]

The first minion leapt from the side again, and Ifrit was prepared to deal with it this time. Spinning to his left, he swung his falchion with all his might, and he heard the sound of steel cutting through flesh before he had to focus on the second and third ones ahead of him. The monster on the deck seemed to be ignoring him again, now that Ifrit had gone silent in concentration. He didn't know if it was blind or something, but for some reason whenever he spoke in demonic it attacked him, so he either had to speak in tradespeak or stay silent. Ifrit opted for the latter option. Not checking to see how much damage he had done to the creature behind him, he pushed himself off of the deck just as the other two leapt directly at him, their prehensible tails flailing, and he leapt in the direction of the fallen girl and Kurana.

A new figure caught Ifrit's eye, a brown haired and hazel eyed newcomer who seemed to be taking care of the fallen girl. Something about the way he looked at her bothered Ifrit, but he did not have the time to focus on that matter before the creatures found him again. He looked off to the side and noticed that his blade had cut deeper than he had thought, nearly shearing the small demon in half. When did I get that kinda strength? He wondered absently before a thin blade flicked out and sliced off the surprised head of yet another minion. Kurana sheathed the blade grimly as he nodded over to the fallen girl. "He came a little while ago and put something in her mouth. It seems your little act of heroism hurt her more, you idiot." Kurana said to Ifrit, and the demon was taken aback. No longer did the kid who looked up to the demon in awe stand there: no, now there was an experienced fighter and and a warrior beyond Ifrit's capabilities to handle, and Ifrit suddenly felt extremely ashamed. He should be the Captain, not I. He thought to himself before bringing up his giant blade to bear once more.

"You have any ideas on how to beat this thing?" He shouted over to Kurana over the wind. Wait, what was with the wind? He looked up and saw storm clouds covering the formerly blue sky, and from the other end of the boat the ancient demon that Ifrit had attacked held one of its hands out high to the sky. "Dear God, it can summon storms..." Ifrit whispered before sheathing the blade on his back and rushing over to the healer, who looked up in mild surprise.

"Get her somewhere safe and grab onto the something..." He shouted now over the raging gales and the crashes of thunder. "...I think it's trying to capsize the boat!"

[Angel of Light]

The wind picked up, but the gentle healer wasn’t all that surprised. He had seen this demon before on his trips to and from the island. He never quite figured out why the ancient beast only attacked on some of his trips, but he had seen it summon a storm many times. The newer demon and his friend were doing a commendable job killing off the worthless minions, but for every one they slaughtered, another took its place from the infinite depths of the ocean. Finally the tired duo realized what was happening with the wind.

“There’s nothing really to grab onto if the ship capsizes, but don’t worry, I’ll keep her safe.”

Because there really was no safer place she could be than near him. Pressing his hand lightly against Adelia’s chest, he massaged the area where her broken ribs had been. The medicine she swallowed was already close to finished with its work on her body; all that remained were two scars on her shoulder blades that almost consciously rejected the healing spreading throughout her. But at least the worst was gone now. Picking her lightly up off the deck of the rocking ship, a task that was a bit harder than he expected it to be, the healer closed his eyes and said a short prayer.

“Oh Lord in the Heavens, grant a measure of safety to your humble servant and his charge. Amen.”

A stray ray of light managed to somehow break through the black clouds and strike him, signifying that his prayer had both been heard and answered. With a slight smile, he walked without stumbling once to the edge of the ship nearest the port. The next time the railing dipped near the water, he hopped over the edge and started walking on top of the water toward the port. Waves taller than him broke as if striking an invisible barrier before they came within six feet of his body and not even the hem of his tunic appeared damp as he walked without a care.

Through a grey mist, Adelia was only slightly aware of the world outside her eyelids. Everything from the rocking of the boat to the waves wanted to lurch and throw her from the man’s strong, gentle arms, but something that felt like an invisible hand pressed her ever closer to this man’s body. The pain was completely gone now; even the old aches she had lived with for so long as to forget she even had them no longer existed. Streaks of ephemeral light caught her vision, and sometimes from one moment to the next, she could almost see a form in the haze of her consciousness.

“What happened…?” She managed to eek out before a gentle smile told her not to speak.

The ship was completely gone now, and inside the healer’s smile was a heart breaking into thousands of pieces for the lives he could not save. Was one life truly worth the cost of so many? Was this girl worth leaving the rest of the ferry to die? He had dedicated his life to finding the most suitable host for his friend’s spirit... It had to be right. In his broken heart he cried for each and every dying soul he had left. Maybe some of them would make it to shore. He had to pray… he had to believe.

“Father, forgive me. I was unfaithful in your call.”

[Ataraxis]

Quest Judging
Stupified

‘Ello, good lads. This here’ll be your judging, and I do hope you both will find it useful. This was a relatively simple quest, and I’ll be brief as was required with simple comments as well!

STORY

Continuity ~ 5/10. Seth, I basically knew why Ifrit was heading off to Akashima, but the details are very vague on what he was doing before. Also, there is no such thing as Japan on Althanas. Heck, the closest thing to it is Akashima, where this quest was supposed to happen, but even then you let this particular detail slip. Moreover, mentioning Beniiro and Zakega confused the readers who haven’t read about your other character. I also can't say, from the descriptions you've provided, what the Bladewraiths are other than a band of skilled swordsmen. What do they do? Why was the group formed? I also have no idea what the seaweed demon wanted or why it was there.

It’s good that you referred to Adelia’s passage in the Pagoda, Angel, I just wish you’d expounded on her reasons for setting on the trip to Akashima: it was basically ‘need to get stronger, strong swordmaster in Akashima, must go there to learn’. It’s not a bad reason, it just felt a bit lacking. Alastor bemused me, but at least I know you tried foreshadowing with him and you might’ve gotten to a big reveal had the quest gone on longer.

The ending provided some sort of future for Adelia, and that’s good, but it also pretty much marked Kurana and Seth, who were technically the main characters in this story, as dead. I know Seth left, but this is something that sadly can’t be overlooked. Also, the healer’s sudden involvment and mention of Kelly really made things more confusing, as he basically appeared out of nowhere, near the end.

Setting ~ 5/10. Simply put, neither of you ignored the setting, but neither of you tried to meld it into the storyline. It was vague and blurry, with instances that stuck out here and there, but I can’t say I clearly remember much of what Scara Brae looked like, which wasn't even mentioned by Seth until the ninth post (though Angel did in the second). However, the wall Ifrit broke at the beginning and how the ship rocked back and forth, causing both of them to use their swords to keep from falling, was good interaction. I did see the scene where the healer walked on and parted the water better than I did the rest. That could be normal though, since he is Jesus and Moses IN ONE, which is obviously the best fusion since peanut butter and jelly.

Pacing ~ 4/10. This would’ve been quite higher, but the ending, though technically adequate as you said, cut everything down. The plot about the bounty on Regrasoon is basically dead, the sub-plot about Kurana’s master is too; I suspect they were the same person, so even if expected, that plot twist is gone. Bringing in the healer and Kelly’s, whoever she is, spirit also made me quirk an eyebrow when the ending came. If it had gone on longer, there would have been no problem in this category, but I understand that that was impossible with Seth AWOL.

CHARACTER

Dialogue ~ 6/10.Ifrit and Kurana had consistent dialogue, though there wasn’t much that stood out. Some of his lines were a bit superficial, though:


"Unless your not afraid of fire, which I don't think you are, I'd recommend getting out of here." Then why is he saying that? It’s awaste of time to even say it if he knows she has no problem with heat. Yes, a warning is always good, but in that case he there are other ways to word this.

Adelia was consistent too, only at some points I wondered about why she would say something a specific way rather than another.


“And why would you ask me if I knew him? Just because I have this blade you lump me into the same group as that boy? Don’t insult me like that.” It shows that she’s feisty and hot-tempered, and that’s good. Still, I had a hard time understanding why she’d be insulted by being lumped together with an excellent swordsman.


And wasn’t big dude just about to kill the snot-nosed brat? Big dude? That sounds weird coming from her.

The part about her noting the monster’s ugliness made her stand out more than Ifrit, whose lines felt a bit hackneyed, as if I’ve read them as is, so many times before. It was basically the typical 'hero with a shady past' jargon. I enjoyed Kurana’s duality between nervous boy and experienced swordsman, and him insulting Ifrit near the end showed character progression, something quite a few people ignore to include for NPCs.

Action ~ 6/10. I understand why Adelia wanted to join the two of them on their trip to Akashima, but she agreed far too easily, especially after the rather unsuccessful dialogue she and Ifrit had. He’s a demon, on top of all, and from what I’ve learned of Adelia, she’d usually kill one on sight. I know doubts made her step back before Ifrit, but she didn’t seem to show any when he asked her to come with them.

Ifrit did as I’d expect him to act, most of the time, but there wasn’t really anything that stood out to make him intriguing, like Adelia was with her snippets of memory coming back, and how she reacted to them. Kurana’s shiftiness, balanced out by his deft swordsmanship, was interesting to see, though I was surprised he didn’t try more against the sea devil, especially when he’s that much stronger than Ifrit.

Persona ~ 7/10. Ifrit was more than two-dimensional, but he wasn’t exactly moving to read about, at least not as much as I wanted. He’s arrogant and overprotective, he usually thinks he’s the only capable person to keep others from danger, but even when he realizes he’s not that strong, he tries to put the better fighters in the background. It’s odd, but it is something I’ve come to learn about him, and I think it defines his character pretty well. Kurana boosted the score a bit, because there was just this quality to him.

Adelia seems a bit of a blank-slate at first, but she progressively gains depth as more of her memories return to her. Her temper seemed to get shorter and hotter as the story went along, and that’s a thing I enjoyed watching. She also seems pretty apathetic, but how she jumped to save the boy, even hurting herself while doing so, added to her personality, making her seem kinder despite how tough she acts.

WRITING STYLE

Technique ~ 5/10. Seth, your style is straightforward, but you do try your hand at a few similes and metaphors. Most of them were decent, but I’ve noticed a tendency to draw your imagery from somewhat dubious sources in a, let’s face it, fantasy-oriented setting. You mention bullets, guns and wrist-slitting, and though I don’t question their existence in Althanas, they still don’t fit his demon-knight image very well. Also, be wary of tacking OOC notes that have nothingto do with the story at hand, because that detracts the reader's attention. The best thing wouldbe to take down all OOC notes before submitting the thread.

Angel, your style is also rather straightforward, but you do manage a succesful blend of technical and poetic writing. The way you describe battles are very detailed, and there’s a certain spark to certain passages that made me nod in approval. I’d say, however, is that you detail things a bit too much when they could be a lot shorter. This would be a matter of brevity where it counts.

Mechanics ~ 7/10. There was almost nothing on Angel’s part, but I’ve picked up quite a few mistakes on Seth’s part. It’s not horrible, but they were rather easy to spot and proof-reading could’ve given you maybe another point here. Would'Ve given 6, but Angel's posts were almost irreproachable! Odd numbered posts are Ifrit, even are Angel:


ripping a gash into the side wall, which was made of wood and sent bits of wood and splinters everywhere.(1) wood, repeated word

"You know, your going to be paying for this out of your pay." (1) pay/paying, r.w.

He going to get himself killed... (1) He is going to, except if Ifrit is in truth an incognito gangster rapper

Ifrit began heading for the docks. (1) Be wary of using ‘began to’, as it only adds to a sentence on rare occasions. Here, you might as well have said ‘he headed for the docks’, which sounds better and says just as much.

as he pointed at the white-robed man with one fat finger. "Y-y-you..." he started. (3) isn’t he wearing a black kimono. Whatever the case, this is not clear

boy/man, (3) slashes are not appealing to the eye. Don’t use them unless there’s a really good reason for it.

her jabbed one gloved thumb the receding swordsman's way. (3) He jabbed

slicing into his skin and cutting his writsts. (5) You started a swordfighting analogy but then switched to a wrist-slitting one. You could’Ve gone with something more fitting, related to stabbing or sundering him in half.

know Ifrit's sword's name? (7) A bit awkward to read, try ‘know the name of Ifrit’s sword’ ?

via it be by request for force. (9) Be it by request or by force

its leaving to (9) it’s

flaunting in a citadel (12) in the Citadel, considering it’s the only battling-establishment in a citadel (though it’s also actually a ziggurat)

Although your right in (13) you’re right

Prehensible(17-19-21) prehensile

femenine voice(17) feminine

Even though it cut, though, (19) redundant

Daaaaamn.(19) DAAAAAYUUUUUM !

making its move, moving towards the (19) move/moving r.w

Pain-killers (20) I don’t doubt their existence, but using soothing balms and ointments instead would’ve given your sentences more flavor. This is more Technique than Mechanics, but I thought I’d mention it anyway.

No matter how twisted or evil, very few things were willing to knowingly harm a healer. (20) It’s interesting, but usually the healers are those you try to take down as fast as you can. I’m guessing you thought of Javersith’s Fairies when you wrote this, but I think if you’d explained something similarly supernatural instead would’ve given this line more sense. Yes, in many instances I’ve seen people who avoided shooting medics and the such, but that was more of a moral thing between humans. These are demons, and they know full-well that that healer won’t be healing any of them, ever. This is an action-related comment, but since it’s taken directly from my notes, it’s here.

Clarity ~ 7/10. I understood mostly everything. The only issue I had with clarity was due to unexplained references I’ve mentioned in continuity, which blurred things a bit for me, and the direction of the plot which seemed to switch every now and then. It started one way and ended another, and that leaves me with a feeling of confusion, like when I recorded an episode of Heroes, but it cut halfway and then naked people humping like bunnies came up! Y’know, something like that.

MISCELLANEOUS

Wild Card ~ 5/10. My mind wasn’t blown away, but I didn’t struggle with this quest. There was some good effort at the start, and I only wish that Seth hadn’t lost interest to continue this with you, Angel. It was only the start, it could’ve gone somewhere, but considering the circumstances, this is as much as I can give.

TOTAL ~ 57/100.

EXP Rewards

Adelia Dike Veritas gains: 900 XP!
Ifrit Obsidian gains: 900 XP!

GP Rewards

Adelia Dike Veritas gains: 190 GP!
Ifrit Obsidian gains: 190 GP!

Other Rewards

Healer NPC granted as long as he is not used to ends that can be considered as powergaming. You must add his NPC profile to your next level update so that an RoG mod may make edits, if necessary!

FINAL NOTES

Good job, peeps. If it’d gone on as planned, I’m sure it would’ve at least shot in the higher sixties, so don’t fret about the score! I hope you’ve found this judging helpful, and if you have any questions, shoot me a PM or catch me on AIM.

[Karuka]

EXP/GP added! Seth Rahl hits level 1!