Kelyia
10-26-07, 12:56 AM
All writings copyright to Kelyia, do not reproduece in any form, in any way, unless you wish to be brutally murdered one night in your bed with a string and some toothpicks
I am working on several stories just for fun right now. I'd love someone to critique them, or tell me how I could improve:)
This is my favorite story and one I am trying to perfect right now. I have more written but I am editing it right now
Seath was tracking a rabbit when she heard human footsteps and the sound of someone muttering under his breath. The rabbit heard the noise too and bounded into the bushes, quickly becoming a mere brown blur. Seath jumped onto the low branch of a conveniently placed oak tree and clambered up into it with ease. She didn't want to be seen either. Looking down from her perch she saw a boy. He was walking slowly down one of the many deer trails that wove through the forest. She inspected him carefully; he had slightly curly auburn hair that was streaked unevenly with dark blond strands; down and loose it came to just below his ears. His eyes were hazel, with such a mixture of brown and green that you couldn't discern if they tended towards either color. He was tall and slender and still had the gawky, loose movments of boyhood, though he was beginning to fill the frame of a man. Seath thought he looked about 16 years old. He had well muscled limbs clothed in dark brown breeches and a short tunic of the same color. His face still had the look of youth, yet if you studied his eyes closely you could sense that he had some sort of different quality that made him wiser than his years. After a few moments of close observation Seath recognized him. This boy and an old man had come into the woods about a week ago. They had almost seen her when she had lingered to long observing them from a bush that had suddenly appeared to be directly in their path. In her wolf shape she had fled into a thick grouping of brush and trees. Since then she had been carefully avoiding them, it would only cause trouble if they realized she was here. The boy bent down and pulled a twig from one of his worn leather boots. I wonder what he's doing so far from his den, Seath thought. Usually only the old man wandered this far from their living site. She watched him for several minuets. He was retracing his steps over and over again, for some reason. When she heard him calling, "Merlin! Merlin, where are you?" Seath realized he was lost. Humans, Seath thought with mild disgust, they couldn't find their way through a forest if a path as broad as a river lay in front of them. She gazed at him from the tree for a few more moments. She really hadn't wanted to be seen by either of the humans, as it would only create more difficulty in her life, but she couldn't just let the boy wander into a trap meant for wolves or deer, as was likely the way he was blundering along without care. Still, she paused. Seath had been in the forest around eight years now, since she was seven . She had not spoken to a single human in all that time, and had grown more into a wild creature herself. She did steal clothes from travelers, though is was as much to remind herself of her half humanity as it was for warmth. It was because of this and more that it was so large a struggle to climb from the tree and approach the boy,with every natural instinct screaming at her to run, to hide and stay hidden till every danger was past. But she mastered her body, stepping in front of the boy and opening her mouth to speak. A strange sound came from her throat that sounded, Seath thought crossly, like a sick goat. It had been a long time since a human word has emerged from her, and Seath had to close her mouth, swallow and think a moment before she tried again "Hello," Her voice was rusty and feral sounding from disuse, but it was easily understood. The boy stared at her, startled. He clearly didn't know who she was but he still answered her, "Hello..." His voice was wary and his eyes glinted with caution.
This is a 'junk' story that I'm not working to hard on
Daisy peered through the shop window, pretending to be interested in the "absolutely gorgeous" dress her mother was going to buy her for the fall dance. Yuck. Why couldn't she go around in breeches and a loose, comfortable shirt like she had a year or so ago? Because she was fourteen, and she was on the verge of ladyhood, she was told. Like she cared. She didn't want to be a lady anyway. The life of a trapper, or ranch hand seemed much more interesting to her, driving cattle across the range with just your horse and a few other people like yourself for company. Now that would-Her attention was broken from her thoughts by a shout and the sound of many hooves pounding. As if called by her thoughts a small herd of cattle thundered around the edge of town into the temporary holding pens made for just that purpose. The town of Cactus Light was a very convenient stop for anyone driving cattle across the open range in Oregon. Many a tired cowboy's face had lit with a grin at the sight of the quaint, friendly town in the not to far distance. Looking at the herd of Hereford-Angus cross cattle, Daisy guessed there was around 100 head of them. An average size around there. Her mother had noticed the cattle as well, though her attention was caught more by the rough around the edges looking drivers than the cows themselves, "Come Daisy darling, its time to go" She said nervously, tugging at her daughters hand. It was obvious she was terrified. And this is the woman who came all the way across America in a wagon, Daisy thought with disbelief and annoyance. Her mother had come over on the Oregon trail when she was Daisy's own age, all the way from Independence, Missouri. Daisy knew that a journey like that required courage, strength, and intelligence. Yet her mother was so much the frivolous, emotional kind of person Daisy hated.
I just got inspired to write a story about a modern shipwreck, so...
Prologue
Arctic cruise. Yippee isn't this fun? Selina thought as she stood at the ships railing. This wasn't even the arctic. It was Alaska. Although maybe Alaska was arctic. She hadn't bothered to look it up. Not that nor any other sort of information relating to this trip. She had wanted to go to Florida for the summer, had thought that's what she and her mother had planned. Then, when she finally got out of school for the summer, she had found out that their original plans had been blown away by her mothers new fabulous idea, a trip-by-water, or cruise, around Alaska. "It'll be fun, sweety, just imagine the beautiful snow white land" Yeah, her mother hadn't exactly gotten her 'snow white' dream. It turned out that Alaska was green in the summer, wasn't that just amazing? Not. Selina had tried to persuade her Mom to at least let her stay at home for the summer. Atlanta had some nice attractions, and she wouldn't have minded just staying there and hanging out with her other friends whom hadn't gone on their own trips either. But of course, her mothers answer was no. No matter that Selina was 16, and old enough to take care of herself, it was too 'dangerous'. Selina snorted, the sound itself breaking her trance. She looked at the sky, it was probably midnight, even though it was barely dark. It didn't get dark in the summer time, they had been told. Her mother had been amazed at this 'amazing feat of nature.' Ha, no more amazing than a thunderstorm, which they had regularly had. She had woken up when a particularly large wave had rocked the boat, and hadn't been able to fall back asleep. Her mother hadn't had that problem it seemed, she was still snoring like a motorcycle motor. Selina had walked out onto the deck for some quiet and fresh air. Simon, the captains dog, had ran up to her wagging his tail and wanting to play. She had obliged and they had had a few fun minuets of wrestling. Now the border collie sat beside her, mimicking her appraisal of the land. "We're approaching the arctic coast" She jumped at Captain Peter Baker's voice, she hadn't realized he had walked up behind her, "What?" She said. "The arctic coast, we'll be alongside it by tomorrow morning. Its about the most remote and uninhabited part of Alaska." "Oh" That sounds like fun, she thought sarcastically. To the captain she said, "OK, well I'm going back to bed, goodnight." And walked back to the room she and her mother shared. Simon followed her. Once she laid down in her bed he hopped up on it, curling up and looking at her so adoringly she couldn't protest. She loved dogs, they were the one animal she had never been afraid of, oddly enough. With a sigh apiece the girl and dog both fell asleep.
Creeeeeak, crash! Selina was tossed out of bed to the floor as the boat suddenly came to a rough stop, a yelp and a shriek told her the same thing had happened to her mother and Simon. Creeeeeeak The horrible groaning sound came again, and this time shouts accompanied it, someone banged on there door, one of the crew, she guessed. Her mother got to the door before she did and unlocked it, "Please come out on deck, Mrs. Andrews!" A young woman shouted, "We need to get you both off the boat, its sinking!" The woman's face was pale, but her voice steady. Selina's mother on the other hand seemed to be about to faint, "What?" She asked stupidly. The woman grabbed her, yelling at Selina to follow them, and to stay away from the rail. They were half way across the space between the cabins and the helicopter when a huge wave rolled over the ship. Selina managed to keep running through it, following the woman and her mother. But then she heard a sound that made her stop and whirl around, "Arrreeeeep!" Simon was screaming his furry head off as the wave washed him towards the side of the boat. Without a thought Selina started to run towards him with a cry when the boat tipped, sending her sprawling. Terror struck as she herself started to slide towards Simon-and the rail-without the power to stop. Someone will grab me She thought, nausea rising in her stomach, someone will-She slid over the side of the boat and into the water. Everything went black, and Selina knew she was about to die.
I am working on several stories just for fun right now. I'd love someone to critique them, or tell me how I could improve:)
This is my favorite story and one I am trying to perfect right now. I have more written but I am editing it right now
Seath was tracking a rabbit when she heard human footsteps and the sound of someone muttering under his breath. The rabbit heard the noise too and bounded into the bushes, quickly becoming a mere brown blur. Seath jumped onto the low branch of a conveniently placed oak tree and clambered up into it with ease. She didn't want to be seen either. Looking down from her perch she saw a boy. He was walking slowly down one of the many deer trails that wove through the forest. She inspected him carefully; he had slightly curly auburn hair that was streaked unevenly with dark blond strands; down and loose it came to just below his ears. His eyes were hazel, with such a mixture of brown and green that you couldn't discern if they tended towards either color. He was tall and slender and still had the gawky, loose movments of boyhood, though he was beginning to fill the frame of a man. Seath thought he looked about 16 years old. He had well muscled limbs clothed in dark brown breeches and a short tunic of the same color. His face still had the look of youth, yet if you studied his eyes closely you could sense that he had some sort of different quality that made him wiser than his years. After a few moments of close observation Seath recognized him. This boy and an old man had come into the woods about a week ago. They had almost seen her when she had lingered to long observing them from a bush that had suddenly appeared to be directly in their path. In her wolf shape she had fled into a thick grouping of brush and trees. Since then she had been carefully avoiding them, it would only cause trouble if they realized she was here. The boy bent down and pulled a twig from one of his worn leather boots. I wonder what he's doing so far from his den, Seath thought. Usually only the old man wandered this far from their living site. She watched him for several minuets. He was retracing his steps over and over again, for some reason. When she heard him calling, "Merlin! Merlin, where are you?" Seath realized he was lost. Humans, Seath thought with mild disgust, they couldn't find their way through a forest if a path as broad as a river lay in front of them. She gazed at him from the tree for a few more moments. She really hadn't wanted to be seen by either of the humans, as it would only create more difficulty in her life, but she couldn't just let the boy wander into a trap meant for wolves or deer, as was likely the way he was blundering along without care. Still, she paused. Seath had been in the forest around eight years now, since she was seven . She had not spoken to a single human in all that time, and had grown more into a wild creature herself. She did steal clothes from travelers, though is was as much to remind herself of her half humanity as it was for warmth. It was because of this and more that it was so large a struggle to climb from the tree and approach the boy,with every natural instinct screaming at her to run, to hide and stay hidden till every danger was past. But she mastered her body, stepping in front of the boy and opening her mouth to speak. A strange sound came from her throat that sounded, Seath thought crossly, like a sick goat. It had been a long time since a human word has emerged from her, and Seath had to close her mouth, swallow and think a moment before she tried again "Hello," Her voice was rusty and feral sounding from disuse, but it was easily understood. The boy stared at her, startled. He clearly didn't know who she was but he still answered her, "Hello..." His voice was wary and his eyes glinted with caution.
This is a 'junk' story that I'm not working to hard on
Daisy peered through the shop window, pretending to be interested in the "absolutely gorgeous" dress her mother was going to buy her for the fall dance. Yuck. Why couldn't she go around in breeches and a loose, comfortable shirt like she had a year or so ago? Because she was fourteen, and she was on the verge of ladyhood, she was told. Like she cared. She didn't want to be a lady anyway. The life of a trapper, or ranch hand seemed much more interesting to her, driving cattle across the range with just your horse and a few other people like yourself for company. Now that would-Her attention was broken from her thoughts by a shout and the sound of many hooves pounding. As if called by her thoughts a small herd of cattle thundered around the edge of town into the temporary holding pens made for just that purpose. The town of Cactus Light was a very convenient stop for anyone driving cattle across the open range in Oregon. Many a tired cowboy's face had lit with a grin at the sight of the quaint, friendly town in the not to far distance. Looking at the herd of Hereford-Angus cross cattle, Daisy guessed there was around 100 head of them. An average size around there. Her mother had noticed the cattle as well, though her attention was caught more by the rough around the edges looking drivers than the cows themselves, "Come Daisy darling, its time to go" She said nervously, tugging at her daughters hand. It was obvious she was terrified. And this is the woman who came all the way across America in a wagon, Daisy thought with disbelief and annoyance. Her mother had come over on the Oregon trail when she was Daisy's own age, all the way from Independence, Missouri. Daisy knew that a journey like that required courage, strength, and intelligence. Yet her mother was so much the frivolous, emotional kind of person Daisy hated.
I just got inspired to write a story about a modern shipwreck, so...
Prologue
Arctic cruise. Yippee isn't this fun? Selina thought as she stood at the ships railing. This wasn't even the arctic. It was Alaska. Although maybe Alaska was arctic. She hadn't bothered to look it up. Not that nor any other sort of information relating to this trip. She had wanted to go to Florida for the summer, had thought that's what she and her mother had planned. Then, when she finally got out of school for the summer, she had found out that their original plans had been blown away by her mothers new fabulous idea, a trip-by-water, or cruise, around Alaska. "It'll be fun, sweety, just imagine the beautiful snow white land" Yeah, her mother hadn't exactly gotten her 'snow white' dream. It turned out that Alaska was green in the summer, wasn't that just amazing? Not. Selina had tried to persuade her Mom to at least let her stay at home for the summer. Atlanta had some nice attractions, and she wouldn't have minded just staying there and hanging out with her other friends whom hadn't gone on their own trips either. But of course, her mothers answer was no. No matter that Selina was 16, and old enough to take care of herself, it was too 'dangerous'. Selina snorted, the sound itself breaking her trance. She looked at the sky, it was probably midnight, even though it was barely dark. It didn't get dark in the summer time, they had been told. Her mother had been amazed at this 'amazing feat of nature.' Ha, no more amazing than a thunderstorm, which they had regularly had. She had woken up when a particularly large wave had rocked the boat, and hadn't been able to fall back asleep. Her mother hadn't had that problem it seemed, she was still snoring like a motorcycle motor. Selina had walked out onto the deck for some quiet and fresh air. Simon, the captains dog, had ran up to her wagging his tail and wanting to play. She had obliged and they had had a few fun minuets of wrestling. Now the border collie sat beside her, mimicking her appraisal of the land. "We're approaching the arctic coast" She jumped at Captain Peter Baker's voice, she hadn't realized he had walked up behind her, "What?" She said. "The arctic coast, we'll be alongside it by tomorrow morning. Its about the most remote and uninhabited part of Alaska." "Oh" That sounds like fun, she thought sarcastically. To the captain she said, "OK, well I'm going back to bed, goodnight." And walked back to the room she and her mother shared. Simon followed her. Once she laid down in her bed he hopped up on it, curling up and looking at her so adoringly she couldn't protest. She loved dogs, they were the one animal she had never been afraid of, oddly enough. With a sigh apiece the girl and dog both fell asleep.
Creeeeeak, crash! Selina was tossed out of bed to the floor as the boat suddenly came to a rough stop, a yelp and a shriek told her the same thing had happened to her mother and Simon. Creeeeeeak The horrible groaning sound came again, and this time shouts accompanied it, someone banged on there door, one of the crew, she guessed. Her mother got to the door before she did and unlocked it, "Please come out on deck, Mrs. Andrews!" A young woman shouted, "We need to get you both off the boat, its sinking!" The woman's face was pale, but her voice steady. Selina's mother on the other hand seemed to be about to faint, "What?" She asked stupidly. The woman grabbed her, yelling at Selina to follow them, and to stay away from the rail. They were half way across the space between the cabins and the helicopter when a huge wave rolled over the ship. Selina managed to keep running through it, following the woman and her mother. But then she heard a sound that made her stop and whirl around, "Arrreeeeep!" Simon was screaming his furry head off as the wave washed him towards the side of the boat. Without a thought Selina started to run towards him with a cry when the boat tipped, sending her sprawling. Terror struck as she herself started to slide towards Simon-and the rail-without the power to stop. Someone will grab me She thought, nausea rising in her stomach, someone will-She slid over the side of the boat and into the water. Everything went black, and Selina knew she was about to die.