Surreal-ly Crazy Battles

[Lucien]

Using just Nirov, while full of focus, bores me just a bit. So I've decided to use this account once more and try to pump a little life into the story. I'll go ahead and begin posting in an old thread to keep the main story alive, but I am offering to do three battles. And believe me, I fucking hate battles.

The battles themselves will be taking place in the citadel, in the most surreal and freaky setting you can think of. The arena is entirely up to you. However, I do require conditions for this battle.

1: Battle number one must be written entirely in haiku, 5, 7, 5 format. It's not entirely original, as its been done on both Althanas by Wolftrappe, and by me during the ToL, but man does it lead to some humorous fucking shit. - Taken by Matt McSexington Cyrus

2: Battle number two will be written in standard Shakespeare sonnet format. Another thing I did during the ToL which was pretty cool too. The form, if you're unfamiliar, goes as such:

a
b
a
b

c
d
c
d

e
f
e
f

g
g

Thus, the first 3 parts rhyme with every other line in their part, and the final rhymes every line. I think it's fun. Taken by Madison McShoulddonatemoneytodarfur

3: The funniest battle of all. It must be written in awful purple prose; filthy disgusting, over the top, Anne Rice ripoff Gothic storytelling. Similes and metaphors are thrown out with little regard.

Post if you're interested.



EDIT:

All three have been taken. But there will be other chances.

For Cyrus (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=9009)

For Madison (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=9010)

For Colin (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?p=89028#post89028)

[Cyrus the virus]

1 or 3 plz

Actually 1 plz

[Edward Judorne]

I love rhyming schemes,
Sign me up for number two.
Never had battles with themes,
but I hope to be in one with you.

[Breaker]

Don't forget the iambic pentameter

[Atzar]

and the ten syllables per line.

[Lucien]

I read the wikipedia entry too guys, so I know you're merely repeating one and other. Rest assured that I won't be doing that. If Shakespeare has a problem, he can tell me himself.

And if he does tell me, well...that'd be some freaky shit.

Keep applying, I'll keep looking. Cyrus, you're in for the Haikuattle!

[Slayer of the Rot]

Hey, where's the option where I just beat the ever loving shit out of you?

[Lucien]

Where your feet are. Thankfully, you'll see neither.

[Sighter Tnailog]

Don't call it Shakespearean sonnet form if you don't intend on following the form of a Shakespearean sonnet. Call it a 14-line poem with an ababcdcdefefgg rhyme scheme. But it's not a sonnet.

[Lucien]

Oh, I'm sorry Madison. You seem to have forgotten your glove deeply embedded into my face. Here, allow me to return it to you, iambic pentameter and all. Expect a link tonight, oh He who should make poetry funny.

[Artifex Felicis]

I wouldn't mind kicking your ass in a bad writing contest you pathetic excuse for an

THIS COMMENT HAS BEEN CENSORED FOR THE SAKE OF CAKE. PLEASE PROCEED TO THE NEXT ROOM AND GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS!

[Lucien]

It's on, Fuzzy. And unlike absurdities, this will end in awkward homosexual moments.

[Edward Judorne]

So, you still looking for a sonnet opponent, or will I do?

[Lucien]

Sorry Edward, but Findelfin called me out. However, I do intend to do more crazy rhyming poem battles and other such things after these three, and I'll keep you next in line for those. ;)

[Atzar]

Let me know, too... I was gonna jump in on the Haiku deal, but Cyrus beat me to it.

[Lucien]

Alright, I managed to get all three threads up.

I don't care too much about writing quality, although I will try my best at Haiku and Sonnet (however, it is counter-productive to write well in the bad gothic writing thread.)

For Cyrus (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=9009)

For Madison (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=9010)

For Colin (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?p=89028#post89028)