...not even one paragraph in and I approve solely for the Vandalwand. Let's see if he's got more to him than magical prankster. Bit heavy on the prose; it reads like one of those sparkly slow motion sequences in the intro episode to an anime. No, really. Which isn't necessarily bad. The chase had a few wording errors and so on, but it was short enough for me to overlook it. Math's gang is a bit cliché. Bit too much of a five man band with too many archetypes in play: The Not-Quite-Pretty-Enough Boy Doubling As Joe Average With A Mischievous Streak (Math), the Mousy Quiet Girl Who'll Probably Be His Love Interest If She Does Not Die Horribly (Cleric), the Cool Big Sis Who Will Sit There And Look Sexy Before Being Removed From Consideration (Matches), and Those Two Really Ugly Guys Who Will Likely Be Dead Or Maimed, Mangled, Eviscerated, Or Otherwise Incapacitated By Post Three (Fingers and Knuckles).
Description of the Zirnden match is a bit odd. First Math's a Vandal...then he's a pit fighter. But I've seen worse and stranger. And I choose to believe the so-called strangehold was a four-dimensional triangle choke. Your profile does say Planesmagic, after all. The description of the Scourge is refreshingly different from what I've been exposed to so far, but it's a bit odd to see someone supposedly kind and gentle like Cleric involved in that. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume she's actually a poisonous little shrew who murders people with enough arsenic to taste. (Not happening, I know. A sh33p can dream.)
Points for the brick. Because.
Blackhood Syndicate's a nice name. Goes well in opposition to the Scara Scourge. Called it on Twiggy McMedic. For some reason, Gurren Lagann just came to mind. Saralynn. Yep. She's gonna die. Also: Hurray amnesia! With a side of Where's My Romance Theme Music And/Or Bottle Of Sleeping Pills And Tonic? Nice smackdown on the Bartholos, though I'm a bit O_o'd at the blatant ethnic gangery of it all. Even if that is how most gangs work. Vandal deserves the namesake, by the way.
...mmkay, and he didn't tell Chapter about Fingers, why? Also: Splittest? Called it again on Saralynn. Oh dear. Trauma Triangle of Love.
Nitpick: If there are so many families involved, with so much power at stake, why are only five being represented? Including what seems to be a low-level outfit like Chapter's? Meeting seemed a bit rushed as well. Abrupt cliffhanger was also abrupt. And out of place, considering the kind of damage Matches seems capable of. Another round of betrayals, hopefully. I want to be proven wrong on the assumption that these people are Loyal, Noble Thieves.
...epic-level Whut. I have no idea what just happened.
Mmkay, that's suitably random and out of nowhere and kind of a moodkiller. Origin story helps. Still a bit meh on the rapid change of pace and everything. Hate to say it, but this whole segue just...kinda lost me. Score's probably going to take a hit for that.
...yay. Back to, y'know. The actually interesting part. Except that it's interesting months after when it was supposed to be. Yay. Hopefully Math kills everyone. Traitor Chapter? Didn't see that one coming. Good show, would've been better to see firsthand though. Odd to see Math take charge like that, but stranger things etc. Cleric cursing? Shock. Awe. 'Cept not so much, because what little characterization we've seen of her since Math's drop back into The Real World is basically in line with that. Still say she's doomed though.
Nice ending overall.
[Tin Foil Hat]HER LIPS WERE POISONED! THIS THREAD ENDED WITH MATHIAS DYING![/Tin Foil Hat]
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