-
Zack slammed Ceidon hard into the cave’s rock face, sending a jolt of pain spiraling down his spine. “Thank you,” he wheezed as his savior set him upright, but Zack had already re-entered the fray. Ceidon watched helplessly as Inwuhou and Zack scaled the beast. Though he desperately wanted to help his friends, the adventurer could barely breathe. Instinctively Ceidon reached down and placed his hand in his right pocket. This is where he usually kept the Shards of Dreniak, stones blessed with the power of healing. However, the stones weren’t there. Ceidon urgently started patting his pants hoping to find his treasured possessions. Fortunately he found them immediately in his left pocket...but he never, ever, stored them in his left pocket. Then he remembered everything.
Suddenly Ceidon’s senses erupted. First a putrid odor entered his nostrils, clearing his head almost immediately. Then, the intense heat of the cave attacked his body, causing him to sweat profusely. Finally he felt as though dozens of blunt needles had been pressed into his back. He had fallen off the cliff, crashed into a thorn bush, healed his body, led the group into a cave and woke a slumbering dragon. Some party leader he was. It was Zack’s cry for help pulled Ceidon away from his memories. The adventurer looked up to find Zack dangling from the dragon’s nose while it was attempting to eat Inwuhou and Itera for dinner. At that moment he knew he had to do something!
Ceidon started towards the dragon then stopped. The rest of his party was on the dragon. Only moments before it appeared that the only way to the apex of the cave was to climb what ultimately ended up being the dragon’s spine. He had an idea: one worthy of a party leader. But there was already a problem. In her attempt to save Zack, Inwuhou ripped out a piece of the dragon’s teeth and was about to throw it into its eyes. “Wait!” Ceidon yelled, but it was too late. The dragon roared and turned its head away from the nun sending Zack flailing along with it. All the while it began stomping its feet into the ground causing rocks to fall all throughout the cave nest.
“Don’t move!” Ceidon yelled to the others, seeing an opportunity. With a deep breath, Ceidon pulled his sword from its sheath and ran towards the lava river the group had just jumped across, but when he arrived he hesitated. This sword, Erol, was the one of the last items that belonged to his father before he died. “No, he would have done the same thing,” Ceidon mumbled to himself. In one seamless motion, dipped the sword into the lava and turned towards the dragon. With a loud cry, Ceidon ran as fast as he could back to the dragon and his friends.
Somehow Ceidon managed to dodge not only the falling rocks, but also the dragon’s stops before arriving at his destination: the dragon’s ass. By this time his sword was bright red and was bubbling, but it was still holding its form. Then, with all his strength, Ceidon slammed the flat end of the sword against the dragons behind like rancher breeding a cow. “Hold on tight,” Ceidon yelled to his companions, “We’re taking the express elevator to the top.”
Ceidon prayed that there was something tender on the dragon's rear other than scales or rock. He also prayed that if it took flight as planned that he would be able to grab onto its tail before it was out of reach.
-
Itera emerged her rift, dripping wet and half-covered in thin, gray mud. A few seconds ago, she had solved the whole problem of what to do when one side of her was painted with hot ash by hopping through her open rift and scooting the other end into the same hot springs that she had taken a bath in this morning. For the first time, she had a genuine frown going. For the unfamiliar, it was more cute than dangerous.
Ceidon ran past the dripping fairy while vigorously shouting something. Distracted by her own fury, she didn't hear any of it. The gap moved silently through the air and positioned itself above the dragon at about the same time as a red-hot, pointy piece of metal smacked flat-side into the draconic backside. Itera had a moment to reflect on the parallels between hitting a great big hot flying thing with a flat bit of hot metal and hitting an anvil with a flambéd teaspoon. The dragon was just reacting to the friendly pat on the behind when Itera's gap reached its final position internally.
Not long after arriving in Althanas, Itera had been fascinated with the human concept of graveyards. There were no graves in her homeland because everyone who died had a habit of not staying dead for very long. The world wouldn't stand for something as permanent as doing away with the embodiment of, say, light. So when she first came across a field of carved stones, each inscribed with interesting pictures and writings, she stole quite a lot of them as interesting souvenirs. She grew bored of them a few days later and re-discovered them a few hours earlier during spring cleaning. Now, they were going to be useful.
Heavy Hail - Unmourned Tombs
Seven tombstones fell from their storing-place in Itera's pocket, through the gap, and smote the dragon. Each one was easily the size of a child and struck like the ton of stone that they were. Itera winced at the cacophony of thumping, cracking, rumbling, and other associated sounds. Then she winced harder as the surprised dragon roared in pained defiance at the unusual precipitation. At least it had completely forgotten about its impromptu spanking and wasn't about to-
One of the eyes was closed, a thin line of yellowish liquid running down its side. The jagged end of a dragon's tooth poked out from between the tightly-squeezed eyelids. Chance!
-
“What the hell is that going to do?!” Zack shouted the question towards Ceidon, “Hitting a lava dragon with a lava sword!? Are you retarded?! What good is giving this son of a bitch a message going to do?!” Almost as soon as Zack’s verbally abusive questioning ended, the dragon launched himself up into the air, causing the teen to blink in utter shock at the stupidity of it all.
“Are…you…kidding….me?!” Zack slammed his fist into the snout of the beast, frustrated with the mind boggling logistics of his team mates. “How did that work!?” More fists into the nose, and that was when Zack noticed it. There was a yellow liquid streaming down the face of the creature, a liquid Zack just splashed onto his own features. Trailing the oozing liquid, the street fighter found himself faced with what appeared to be the dragon’s own tooth embedded into his eye.
“Great,” Zack sighed, “So now I’m fighting a seriously pissed off lava dragon with moronic team mates. Could my day get any worse?”
It could, and it did. More specifically, in the form of Itera appearing and offering the youth a way out. After his last interaction with the fairy, the interaction he did not remember but was most certain he was taken advantage of during, Zack decided to take his chances with the dragon. The beast flew up into the air, crashing through the roof of the cave with a remarkable strength and causing rubble to sprinkle itself along Zack’s body, much like the tombstones before it.
As they flew through the air, Zack relished the new, cool breeze that granted him from the outside. He was concerned, however, that his makeshift mount was going to take his entire party up into the air higher and higher, until they could no longer breathe. He had to act fast if he wanted to save Ceidon, Inwuhou, and most importantly, himself.
Zack climbed towards the eye of the creature, trying to focus on the trail of yellow liquid through the smog extracted from the lizard’s nose. It wasn’t hard, aside from the fact that finding a scale with a good grip was rather difficult. As he got to the eye, Zack released his grip on one of the scales, and proceeded to use this free hand to slam into the dragon tooth. With each hit of his fist, the tooth went in a little more. The higher they rose, the closer the sharp object was to piercing something vital. Zack punched furiously, all of his street fighter training bubbling up to the front of his brain as he attacked the inanimate object.
He could feel the bones in his fingers cracking, and could see the blood all over his fist. He had managed to break his own hand during the altercation, but the beast was still alive. As a result, Zack scooted closer to the eye, still holding on tight to the scale with one hand. With every ounce of strength, the boy began to throw his elbow into the top of the dragon tooth, pushing it down deeper and deeper. Zack could feel himself starting to loose consciousness (though he wasn’t sure if it was from blood loss or lack of oxygen), but he continued anyway. He had to try.
Then just as suddenly as he had appeared, the dragon released a large trail of flame from his mouth, a final death wail, before the gargantuan started falling from the sky…
-
Inwuhou had narrowly avoided being caught between a lot of dragon and a lot of stone by the expediency of jump off of the back. It was a long way down to the ground below, but she didn't have to make the fall. The moment that the dragon had smashed through the ceiling of the cavern and winged its way into the free air outside, Inwuhou reeled back along her own history and started deleting as quickly as she dared. It had been only a few seconds since she jumped, a short enough time to consume.
Quite suddenly, the nun reappeared on the dragon's back, having never jumped off at all. She collapsed there, arms hanging onto a mightily flapping wing-root and head spinning with the new paradox load.
That was a terrible idea. She thought, If I had been slow by just a second, I'd have hit the ground. If I had been early by just a second, I'd have hit the ceiling.
She gulped. A childish enthusiasm and giddiness penetrated all of her monastic training and discipline, Wait until the others hear about this! I might get a whole scroll added to the Library.... I... what's that smell?
The smell, which resembled a good leg of pork being turned over a fire, turned out to be coming from her. Inwuhou's death-grip on the dragon had kept her firmly attached despite the spasmodic gyrations that the creature was performing due to having its own tooth shoved through its own eye-socket. It also put quite a lot of her in constant contact with the skillet-like surface of the dragon scales. Her thickly-woven robes had browned and now a good bit of her was starting to cook.
Adrenaline gave up under the shock. Inwuhou jerked back, screaming, and fell off of the dragon. The pain hit like a brick wall, then she fainted. If she had been in a calmer state of mind, she might have noticed, with interest, that she was falling only slightly faster than the great corpse was.
-
Ceidon tried to ignore Zack’s chide, but the street fighter was right. This entire mission had been one disaster after another and Ceidon was the cause. Even his prized weapon, a sword given to him by his father, was about to be lost by his incompetence. He held on to Erol as long as he could before it melted into boiling metal. The next moments were lost. Apparently Itera dropped several heavy tombstones on the dragon and Zack punched it in the nose, but Ceidon was too busy lamenting to notice. Then the unthinkable happened: fed up with the onslaught the beast roared, spread its wings and took to the air. His plan had worked!
No, not his plan; their actions. This tournament, his mission, wasn’t just about him destroying the Omega Infinitum. It was about meeting others, working as a team , and winning a tournament. Alone Ceidon was clumsy, but in a team he was a graceful warrior. Maybe Kenneth Stern wasn’t as bad-shit crazy as Caduceus made him seem, as teamwork appeared to be at the core of the Adventurer's Crown. Ceidon grinned and then frowned. In the short time it had taken him to come to this realization, the dragon had already climbed out of his reach. Not only did he miss his ride, he also was pelted by boulders as the ceiling collapsed. He ducked and dodged his way to safety, finally coming to rest near Itera who was still in the cave.
“Hey,” Ceidon said sheepishly. Although he was under the weather, the adventurer still vividly remembered first insulting and then kissing the fairy only a few minutes before. “Looks like we missed our flight,” he said, looking at the ground. “So you know that trans dimensional warping you do? Would you mind if I hitched a ride?” Itera surprised him by draping her arms around him and pulling him in close. Then she kissed him on his lips.
“For…luck?” She said with a grin.
Time stopped for a moment and then suddenly Ceidon was yanked forward. He closed his eyes and grabbed Itera tightly. If she dropped him, he might end up smack in the center of oblivion. Eventually his eyelids turned from dark to light and the fairy whispered softly, “We’re here.” Ceidon slowly opened his eyes, refusing to let up his grip on Itera. They were now on a strange unnatural plateau near the peak of the mountain, standing in three inches of snow.
“Ahh,” Ceidon said, astonished. Directly in front of him, and behind Itera, was the shimmering mountain. Except it wasn’t a mountain, it was a 30 foot tall brick building. The bricks were glowing emerald green, which was obviously what he must have seen from below. However, upon closer inspection, there didn’t appear to be anyway to enter the magical fortress. “How do we get in?” he asked Itera.
“Uh, Ceidon,” she replied. “Ceidon!” The adventurer looked at the fairy only to find her eyes fixed on the sky. He followed her eyes and suddenly his heart filled with dread. Directly above them the dragon carrying their partners was dive-bombing from the sky at near terminal velocity. “Shit!” he exclaimed, pushing Itera away from him. Ceidon turned and dove to the side, praying that the plateau wouldn’t crumble under the force of the falling dragon.
-
Zack fell through the air, the massive dragon falling behind him, and Inwuhou descending slightly faster in his front. In times like these, most people would do the right thing, be the hero, and try to rescue the falling nun from both her imminent impact with the ground, but the crushing weight of the beast above the two of them. Zack looked towards the woman, then up to the defeated monster, and smiled.
The dragon, like chivalry, was dead.
Zack tried to shift his weight, falling at an angle and attempting to pull open shirt collar. His plan slightly worked, as his clothes kept getting caught in the wind, occasionally giving the youth a millisecond or so more into the air. He kept opening his collar, repeatedly trying to catch some wind in his fall from it, and finally found himself falling at the same time as the beast he had slain.
Zack acted quickly, shifting his weight back over towards the collapsing behemoth, finding a wind tunnel that had formed behind the creature’s wings. Without the wind resistance, Zack fell even faster, straight onto the body of the terrible threat that had almost killed him. He clung to the corpse of his fallen foe, closing his eyes and hoping for the best.
He heard the crash, and opened his eyes, surprised that he was still alive, that his plan had worked. However, the dragon had missed the hole it had flown out of; instead slamming directly into the green building that they had all once thought was a mountain. Zack looked around, coughing as his lungs caught a mouthful of dust. He could barely make out Ceidon and Itera’s forms in the distance.
If only Ceidon had a brain, and Itera had some courage, I wouldn’t have had to let Inwuhou die. Zack thought to himself a scowl on his face. He turned his back to his allies, looking around the chamber of the large palace. There, on a pedestal, the youth saw a parchment setting by itself. The cave, the lava, the dragon, even the lack of entrances, had apparently all been defenses to protect this paper. This had to be the Omega Infinitium.
“I…I think I found it!” Zack laughed, coughing from the dust once more and falling back upon the corpse of the dragon. “Zack Blaze…adventurer, dragon slayer, and rare treasure finder….man I’m good!”
((Zack's final post, you guys bunny him however you need to to wrap it up! We only have a day!))
-
Itera reeled back, tripped over an unexpected boulder, and smashed into the same. The dragon was in the last seconds of its swan dive now but so were its hijackers. One of them still had a death-grip on the overgrown lizard's snout. The other one was tumbling limply alongside, her long black hair streaming behind her like a shuttlecock tail.
The fairy briefly considered the benefits of simply letting everyone smash themselves to pieces. It would be fewer competitors for this whole tournament business later on and she had no particular attachments to any of them. Oh, certainly, the man on the nose had some skill, but she could always find and spirit away someone else. Perhaps she could even find someone with the same green eyes; that would be nice.
A horrible realization struck Itera as she idly watched the three nearing the ground. People went splat when they hit the ground really hard. These people were going to go splat and gte ? And if they went splat, there was going to be wet bloody bits going all over the place. If wet bloody bits were going around, she was going to get splattered on. The mud was going to be hard enough to wash out of her dress, but blood is a whole another issue. That stuff was impossible to get out and the rust-red color would stand out against her white fabric.
There was nothing for it, in order for her to save her wardrobe, she was going to have to save some humans.
Itera reached out with and found the boundary of motion and still in Inwuhou and Zack, then manipulated it just so. As the two neared the ground, each's momentum was turned and used to cancel the other's momentum. The two touched down, gentle as a lead feather.
With a singularly ghastly noise, the dragon's corpse smashed through the bricks and continued right through it. A huge cloud of dust, much of it glowing emerald green, rose and engulfed the small plateau. Itera tried to stare but was foiled by eyes watering from the dust.
"... *cough* I meant *cough* to do that..."
-
For the next few moments Ceidon remained face deep in the snow. As a result he missed Zack’s amazing midair maneuver, Itera’s heroic save, and the dragon’s impact with the emerald brick. When the dust settled and the ground stopped shaking, Ceidon slowly climbed to his feet to find all three of his companions shaken, but alive. It was par for the course with this group.
Amazingly, the dragon had crashed into the building, leaving a 10 foot gap in the brick. Zack had already entered, fresh from his triumph over the beast. Itera and Inwuhou held back. Ceidon gave them a small nod and then followed Zack into the building. Unlike the exterior, the interior was nothing special. Inside, the only article of note was a pillar containing a single piece of parchment. Naturally Zack picked it up, a large smirk on his face.
“Uh,” Ceidon said. Zack continued to gloat. “Uh,” Ceidon said once more in response to ‘rare treasure finder.’ When the street fighter finally finished, Ceidon yelled out, “That’s not the Omega Infinitum! Zack stopped immediately and looked to Ceidon. “The Omega Infinitum is a book. That’s a piece of paper.” Zack looked furious. Ceidon held out his arm. “Well, let me see it.” Zach hesitated for a moment, acting almost as though he thought the adventurer was attempted to trick him. Eventually Zack gave up and handed the parchment to the historian.
“It’s a map!” Ceidon exclaimed after a few moments. At this time he was completely obvious to the others. “I think I recognized this river and this hill. I think it’s in Lornius!” Suddenly everything made sense. If Kenneth Stern wanted to hide the book in a place where even the Order of the Golden Dawn feared to traverse, it was Lornius! Barren landscape, deadly animals, and xenophobic people: it was the perfect hiding spot. Parchment in hand, Ceidon began to run towards the exit. When he arrived, he turned to see that none of his teammates had followed him.
“Well,” Ceidon asked. “What are you waiting for? We’ve got a treasure to find!”
-
Round 1 closed for judgement.
Good luck!
-
Plot: (23)
Storytelling (8) – You completed all of the necessary tasks for this round of the tournament. Your island adventure, while not the most original, was well constructed and flowed well. The slightly humorous tone of the thread really complimented Itera and Zack, who might have felt slightly out of place in a more serious thread.
Setting (8) – There was nothing brilliantly out of the ordinary for the location that your group picked but you did a very good job of detailing it. A little more of a unique flair would have given you the bump you needed to score higher.
Pacing (7) – There was definitely a slow start in the thread with Itera and Inwuhou posting multiple times before everyone else. Inwuhou managed to post three times before Zack even got his first post in. It would have been an excellent start for a longer, more drawn out thread, but as it was it clashed with the swift moving style of the rest of the thread.
Character: (24)
Communication (7) – Ceidon and Zack both had very distint voices that gave very distinct impressions of who the characters were. Zack, it would have been very easy to allow your character’s self-superiority overshadow his other features but you found just the right balance to keep things both entertaining and engaging. I found myself laughing at several moments in this thread. Itera and Inwuhou, your voices started to blend together in areas, and while it didn’t necessarily make it difficult to distinguish between them, it made the characters feel less distinct.
Action (8) – The somewhat over-the-top nature of the characters’ actions in this thread fit almost perfectly with the story’s tone. All of your characters kept the story moving and kept things from becoming dull, even when nothing was going on. The only hint of an issue that I had was Inwuhou’s complete acceptance of Itera sticking out of her backpack with absolutely no trouble from it whatsoever, even while navigating the caves and lava tunnels.
Persona (9) – All of your characters really felt very individual in how they reacted, and I really like way that your characters reacted without thinking and then paused at the first available moment to think “wait, why am I doing this?” It added an overall sense of realness to the characters. It was good to see that your characters had emotional depth, ranging from jealousy, to lovesickness, to hopelessness, to smugness.
Prose: (20)
Mechanics (7) – While there were only a handful of errors in this thread, they were significant enough to lower the score. As always, read your work carefully and edit when necessary.
Clarity (6) – To be honest, with all the ass-burning, eye-stabbing, tombstone dropping going on, the dragon’s final moments became somewhat confusing and the exact order of events became quite muddled. Specifically, Inwuhou, your use of your time distortion led to some conflicting elements in the story after the characters fell off the cliff. The odd specifics of your ability also caused me to have to go back over the point where you were jumping over the dragon tail and instead ended up on top of it. For both Inwuhou and Itera, your abilities are very interesting, but their use needs to be carefully smoothed into the story so as not to create confusion.
Technique (7) – The lighthearted nature of this thread served you all well, but be careful when adding side commentary as too many of them, or ones put in the wrong place, can ruin the effect. Additionally, there were a couple of areas where numbers were posted as numbers instead of being written out. Taking the time to write ten instead of 10 will help the flow of your story.
Wildcard: (7)
Total: 74
Inwuhou receives 925 exp and 150 gp.
Itera receives 833 exp and 135 gp.
Ceidon receives 925 exp and 150 gp.
Zack Blaze receives 740 exp and 120 gp.