Congratulations for making it to the second round of the Tournament of Champions. Both teams receive three Fate Points for making it this far! The battle closes after 11:59 PM EST on March 27th. Good luck to both teams!
Arenas were arranged at random, and your prompt is as follows:
Your battle takes you into a steaming, fetid jungle thick with thorny vines and infested with mosquitoes.
Xaul stepped through the portal into the thick jungle, grimacing as his boot landed in something warm, wet and squishy. The animal that had been feasting on the carcass bared teeth larger than its face and scurried off into the undergrowth. Xaul growled back at it as he scraped his foot against the ground and grumbled to himself. It turned out that the portals made his stomach go a bit off, and the ambient rotting smell wasn’t helping. He was used to it thanks to years of wielding Haingre, his left-hand katar that emitted a stench that would not be out of place in a charnel-house, but still…
I like it here, Xaul. Quite the ambiance. Can’t you feel these beasts, feel the truth that they recognize? They’re so right, so pure… The dark and rough voice that invaded Xaul’s thoughts was that of a god, the bloody and terrible god that Xaul had so long ago chained himself to in exchange for revenge. They became locked together, neither existing without the other, and constantly battle for control.
“Quiet, Resheph. I see them,” Xaul muttered, “but I will not succumb. Not to you, and not to that life.”
But think of the beautiful chaos, Xaul. Look around you, look at this jungle. Here, life is understood. Kill or die, feed or starve. Don’t you remember those days? Don’t you remember the euphoria of an enemy’s blood pouring down your throat? Resheph chuckled as snarls and roars echoed through the greenery. They know the truth, why can’t you? Only one law, Xaul. Survival above all else.
“I can’t believe that, Resheph. There must be something else, be it faith or honor or what have you. Who am I, without honor? Who are you, a god, without faith?”
Who am I without belief? I am still a god, because I don’t need that belief. Even sacrifices made unwittingly suffice, and with a world full of animals, blood is constantly dripping from “honorable” fingers. Besides, even the lowest of animals need revenge. Just look in a mirror to find the truth of that.
Xaul shuddered at Resheph’s words, but did not argue. His eyes flicked to Epsilon, who had emerged from behind the portal slightly after Xaul had. “We need a plan, shiny. I didn’t predict that the jungle would be this thick. We could go a week in here without finding our own asses, much less those of our opponents. Either we split up and sneak n’ seek or set off a red flag, your choice.”
'By the founder, first the cold, then this,' Nikolai paused in his thought for a moment before continuing, 'jungle. At least the freebirth wont be complaining about the cold.' The armoured warrior looked about at the jungle, it seemed the visibility was less than thirty meters in some places, and there were bugs everywhere. Nikolai sighed loudly, enough for the external speakers to pick up the mild annoyance in the Clanner's voice.
'I swear' The clanner thought to himself as he looked around for the small body of Madison, his battle partner, 'If what happened last round happens again, it shall be my rede to see all the monk's perish at my hands.' His battle claw flexing was the only visual clue that something was up in the clanner's mind.
The jungle itself wasnt so much a jungle, as just an area of alot of trees, alot of bugs, and alot of bogs. Unfortunately, Nikolai missed a step on landing and ended up at the edge, in one of the many bogs. The warrior knew from personal experiance, that his jump jets would probably fail to work in the bog, having the intakes for the Heat Sink's in his legs covered, would mean that the jump jets wouldnt fire. So it became clear, and with a barely audible "Damn" from him, that he needed to get to the edge of the bog before he could regain his lost mobility.
With a metallic whine, the moyomer muscles in his one-ton suit lifted each of the suit's multi-hundred pound feet to bring him implacably closer to the marker line that bordered the edge of the battlefield. A small imprint was the only thing, besides the noise of the suit itself, that gave away something was amiss.. With a hiss of compressed gasses, the suit dropped the leg with a squish back on to the boggy ground. Whine, hiss, squish. Whine, hiss, squish. The Elemental Class Battle Armour gave a small shudder when it's first foot met with something that was not 'boggy.'
Using the battle claw on the elemental suit to brush aside a tree as if it were just a branch, Nikolai spotted what might possibly be a teammate or enemy. It was a little far out for him to see, even with his enhanced imaging. "Damn it, Freebirth," He shouted into his microphone, "get over here before I start lighting the whole jungle up!"
"Fucking shit!"
I quickly brought a hand to the side of my neck before the insect had any chance of escape. I took a look at the aftermath. The decimated remains of a mosquito that was easily three times bigger than it should've been decorated my palm, along with a small splotch of what was presumably my blood. With a huff, I wiped the gore off on my jeans. Boy, I've read some sick shit about diseases that tropical areas such as this can carry. I could only hope that after this battle, the monks would give my body a thorough once-over. The last thing I needed was to have my face rot off while my insides melted out through my ass.
So here I am, in Round Two of this little tournament because of a clerical error. As it turned out, the two guys that the guy in the over-sized sardine can and I were about to fight were the wrong opponents. So the monks ripped us back to the temple, gave us a couple of pats on the back and an apology, and told us to wait. Well, after some serious thumb twiddling, me and Nikolai were escorted to another part of the temple where we were told that we'd be in the next round--and that we would be facing the correct team.
Horray. They finally got their shit together.
But if it's not one thing, it's another. The first not-quite-battle found us in the middle of a barren, frozen hell hole. My lips were still cracked from the intense wind and cold. But now, we were in the middle of a gods-damned jungle. It was the complete package: A cacophony of birds, bugs, and other wildlife, sweltering heat that made me start to sweat buckets before I could even finish my post-teleportation gag, and a brutal maze of tightly-packed tropical plant life.
I could hear another mega mosquito closing in. I quickly ducked and weaved, trying hard to not trip over any errant tree roots or vines as I went. The heel of one of my boots caught on a thick, thorny vine and sent me to the soft, wet ground in a classic example of speaking too soon. "Dammit all!" I quickly rose to my feet. My jeans and arms were covered with light mud and leaves.
Then, whilst I was distracted, the insect landed on my cheek and began sucking blood. "What the fuck!" Crunch. Bits of mud and bug juice sprayed across my nose as my hand brought swift vengeance upon the mosquito. About ten feet away from me, I could see Nikolai's hulking suit moving slowly between the trees. Smarting from my fall, I slowly maneuvered through the mess of underbrush to catch up with him.
"Seriously, Nikolai, use need to use that detection stuff of yours and find our opponents so we can get this over with!"
Out of Character:
Epsilon sighed briefly as he stepped from the gleaming silver disc. He loved the feeling of teleportation; being reassembled from the sub-quantum level up left him feeling new, whole, and recharged. It was the perfect mood in which to enter battle. He pitied the unfortunate many that found the process distasteful, and especially those whose bodies reacted badly to the strain.
This feeling of comfort abruptly vanished when his boot squished into the loamy ground. Immediately, a film of sweat coated his body, his uniform's moisture-wicking properties useless in the intense humidity. He could already feel beads of liquid coating his forehead beneath the cool metal of his mask. But that was only a trivial concern; it had no place in his thoughts at such a time. The Esper pushed it from his mind and turned to observe his surroundings. Massive tree trunks covered in moss, reaching upwards into the leafy green sky, so dense they were practically walls. Between them, the ground was choked with vegetation that dripped with moisture.
A jungle, pure and simple. A place where the inner beast is unleashed and the only laws are the brutal truths of survival. A dangerous place. Especially, he thought, for someone like Xaul. Epsilon could hear him now, arguing with Resheph. Epsilon wanted to offer some sort of aid to his ally, but he knew that there was really nothing he could do. So he settled instead for answering his partner's question.
"Perhaps not their asses, but I could certainly find their minds." He stretched out his senses to the jungle, and was immediately overwhelmed. The forest was so vibrantly alive, so densely filled with so many varieties of insect and bird and mammal, that he almost missed the telltale feel of two human beings not too far away. He went to report this to Xaul, but as he opened his mouth to do so a loud noise broke through the chatter of the forest animals. It was a human voice; male, though synthetic-sounding, as if it was being broadcast by speakers. It came from the direction in which Epsilon had sensed the human minds. At the same time, there came a ponderous creaking, followed by a series of snaps and a deafening crash as a tree toppled somewhere directly ahead of them.
Epsilon shook his head. "Though now that seems hardly necessary." he finished. "Judging by the sound, we're not far from them. We should approach with caution and try to set up an ambush. If they're equipped heavily enough to knock down trees, it should be a simple matter to outmaneuver them. If we split and move through the trees, we can flank them and take them by surprise."
"I'll go high. It's where I'm best," Xaul nodded as he drew his katars. For now, the weapons lay dormant, as they were not being fueled by Xaul’s rage, but that would change. He stabbed the blades into a tree trunk and prepared to haul himself up into the canopy, but turned back briefly.
“Shiny, Epsilon, promise me something. If I go off the deep end, if you see Resheph gaining control… Kill me. Put me down fast and hard and never let up, because if you do, you’ll die.” Xaul’s raspy voice was heavy with terrible certainty. “Kill me, and burn the body. I’ll do my best to take the bloody god with me into whatever hell awaits me.”
The possessed man sighed, remembering the days when he was just a simple farmer, and began to scale the tree. The steady shunk shunk of the nysattva steel piercing the bark was a small comfort as the sounds recalled the scrape of a hoe against dirt.
Stop thinking about that, Xaul. Forget your wife, forget your family. We avenged them, and they rest. Forget your old life, Xaul. Forge a new one. Let me in, and start anew. Let me in, and it all goes away. All the pain, the suffering, all the bad thoughts? Gone. Welcome the void, Xaul, and rest. Just let me in. it’s all ancient history. After all, that was hundreds of years ago, right?
“No, Resheph,” breathed Xaul as he moved rapidly up the tree trunk. “That was only yesterday.”
Fine then. You won’t take the carrot, so here’s a taste of the stick. You said you would drag me down into a hell. But think, little Xaul. Who is the god you have given your life to? Who do you constantly sacrifice to? Heh. I never told you, but the tears you cry later only make the innocent lives that much sweeter. You’re coming to my place, Xaul. You will be freely welcomed in my kingdom upon your death, upon my release. Heh, I might even make you my servant, for a change.
Xaul said nothing as he continued climbing, clutching tightly to his memories.
I resolved that for every minute longer I had to spend in this jungle I was going to break one additional bone in my opponents' bodies. My shirt was soaked with perspiration, my face stung from where I hit the muddy ground, I was covered with bug bites--and all before lunchtime.
"Nikolai! I said hurry up and find them!"
My teammate replied with a crackle from his loudspeaker, his voice tinged with annoyance. "We will find them when we find them, freebirth, and not a moment sooner."
"How many times do I have to tell you, my last name is not--"
Nikolai cut me off with a quick distorted hiss. "You do have parents, quiaff? That means you are a freebirth, pure and simple."
Patience was never one of my strong points. Back in the days when I was training to be an assassin, my parents would always scold me for being quick to act. That recklessness led to the botching of a few early assignments, until I got slapped around enough to get my act straight. From then on, I was able to idle in the shadows, rather than run out knives blazing into battle. But ever since I quit the profession and opened up my bookstore, my old habits started to return. And sulking around in this jungle, waiting for a battle that, quite frankly, I had no I idea why I was fighting in the first place... It wasn't helping. I wanted to scream.
The men who had sent us to this godsforsaken place didn't even bother to tell us who exactly we were fighting, only guaranteeing us that they were the right opponents. Given some of the stories I heard floating around after the first round, I could only guess that Nikolai and I were going to be squaring off against the real deal. My imagination ran wild with the possibilities. Perhaps my opponent would be covered in tattoos that gave him a wide range of magical abilities? Or perhaps there'd be that one guy you always hear about in fantasy stories from the far eastern portions of Althanas that was the sole survivor of his village's destruction--only because he was a chosen one of some lost god or what have you.
I swatted an unrecognizable insect off my shoulder. My patience was wearing increasingly thin. "Hey, Nikolai," I addressed the hulking suit that encased my partner. "You got a flamethrower, right? Start burning this mother down so we can get this over with. I want to go home."
Epsilon watched in silence for a moment as his black-cloaked companion vanished into the tangle of foliage above. Xaul's parting words were hard to hear, but he knew they were true. After the episode in the Garden of Secrets when they had first met, Epsilon knew that it would be extremely difficult to draw Xaul back from the brink a second time. He could do it, he knew, but only by entering Xaul's mind and forcibly yanking his conscious mind to the forefront. Epsilon also knew that this would almost certainly kill him, and the sight of his own dead body would send Xaul immediately back to Resheph's control. The Esper, however, had no intentions of letting that happen.
"I will never kill you, my friend." he murmured, "I swore I would help you see the universe rid of Resheph. I will be damned, more so than I already am, if I fail you in such a way." He made another brief mental sweep, passing over Xaul's presence in the canopy overhead. Phasing out the wild chorus of lifesigns was becoming easier as Epsilon maintained the scan, and he soon found his target: two swirling vortexes of thought and emotion directly ahead of them. Unmistakably humans, and undeniably his opponents. Both of them were quite obvious to his senses. One of them was female, her mind seemed to resonate with his mental energy. A psionic, at least slightly. Latent talent, perhaps. The other was male, thoughts swirling at a rate that suggested enhancements similar to his own, but it was also oddly muted.
Xaul. Our enemies are directly ahead of you. One male, one female, as the information said. Keep moving forwards and you will be directly overtop of the female. Once you locate them, hold position and wait until I am in place. We will attack together. He moved cautiously forwards, veering off at an angle from Xaul's tree. With luck, it would bring him around the side of the duo and enable a two-pronged surprise attack. He drew Sentinel, nudging aside a fern with fronds as big as he was. He moved quickly and quietly through the undergrowth, circling around the presences.
Epsilon moved into a small stand of bamboo-like plants, their many shafts concealing him behind a tightly-woven screen. Here, he paused to make one final scan, noting the positions of his enemies. Xaul was approaching the female, still hidden high in the canopy. Epsilon estimated that the other enemy was perhaps twenty meters ahead of him, directly between himself and his ally in the treetops. If he aimed well, he might even be able to strike them both.
Epsilon drew in a steady, calming breath as he closed his eyes and raised Sentinel. He gripped the bulky pistol with both hands, then again with his mind to further steady the gun. The beam would certainly be potent enough to burn through the foliage between himself and his target, and the Esper aimed towards the psi-presence of the male. Visible to no human eyes, the plants between them would not hinder his aim in the slightest.
This is the signal, Xaul, he thought as he squeezed the trigger and loosed the energy beam.
'Who does this freebirth think she is, ordering me to burn down the forest.' Nikolai thought angrily to himself as he ignited the burner and prepped his flamer. The warrior tromped over to the closest tree, the mechanical whirrs of the gears, and the hissing air of the pneumatics, sounding alien against the natural backdrop of the jungle. He glanced down to see a snake barely manage to slither out of the way before the moyomer muscles in the suit released the foot to fall, implanting itself momentarily in the ground a couple inches.
He moved ever so slightly to bring up his flamethrower to bear as the corner of his eye caught something in the distance coming toward him. 'Oh.... Freebirth!' He thought as he watched, seemingly in slow motion, as the beam seamed to glance off the rounded portion of his upper leg.
He glanced at the armour readings quickly. There was a small tinge of yellow to the armour that was protecting his left leg. 'Good,' Nikolai thought to himself, 'still enough armour to deal with my foes.'
"Maddison," the Clan Warrior shouted into the external speakers, "I have located a gunman." The clanner quickly got in position and ignited his jump jets, igniting flashfires in the foliage below and sending himself bursting through the canopy, out into what looked like a storm brewing in the area, he quickly readjusted his trajectory so that he would come down on top of the gunman, in what was termed a Death from Above attack.
A shot rang through the air. The explosion echoed through the jungle, scaring the wildlife into silence. The near-immediate sound of something against metal snapped my attention towards Nikolai. I turned quick enough to see a beam of some sorts ricochet off his leg and into a nearby tree with a deafening crack! The wood spontaneously burst into flame, burning bright and hot for a brief second before breaking in two from the impact of the projectile.
I stood dumbfounded for a moment, which was by far the last thing I should've done in a fight with someone who has friggin' projectile weapons while I don't in a place where they can conceal themselves with minimal effort. "Oh shi--!" Nikolai interrupted, letting me know that he found a gunman. No, ya' think?
Wasting no time, my teammate fired up his jets and took to the skies and traveled off in the direction the shot came from, leaving scorched earth and plant life in his wake. I was all alone now. A bird squawked in the distance. "Dammit, Nikolai," I harshly whispered. I tried to calm my breathing down a little bit. More than likely, it was only one of my opponents that fired the shot; if the monks brought them into this jungle the same way the did with me and Nikolai, then chances are that the fourth participant was out there, separated from his own teammate. All I had to do was hope that I found him or her (or even it) before they found me. Track them down, sneak up from behind, a quick snap of the neck or a slice across the throat, and I'd be that much closer to going home in time for tea.
And yet, things are never that easy in reality.
I stood up, glancing wearily all around me for any signs of the fourth participant. The sad realization came to me that I had no chance in any known layer of hell of finding my other opponent. My hands slowly crept behind my back, removing my damascus daggers from their sheathes. I made my way through the jungle in the opposite direction Nikolai went, all the time being wary of any surprises that might pop out nearby.
As Epsilon’s beam shot through the air, Xaul was moving quickly through the branches of the canopy to a position over the slight woman. He almost ahead of her, following and waiting for an opportunity, when the strange metal man blasted through the canopy, shattering several branches as he plowed through them. His jets finished the job, igniting more of the forest. The flames quickly died thanks to the intense moisture content of the air, but it was enough to weaken more of the canopy. Xaul barely had time to jump before the wide branch that he had crouched on began to drop with an oppressively loud, slow creaking and cracking.
The rest of the way down was especially painful. Xaul, having not been prepared for the jump, had not aimed properly, and hit several trees and vines as he dropped. Every impact drove the wind out of him, catching at his arms and legs and sending him spinning and flipping randomly through the air. Expletives from several different languages flew from Xaul’s mouth as he hit the ground fifty yards behind Madison with a sickening crunch.
His vision blurred, Xaul tried in vain to rise, to stand and face his enemy, but he could not. None of his limbs felt broken, but he might as well have broken his spine. Nothing would work. Warm sickly sweet liquid dribbled into his mouth, and Xaul noted with a detached air that he had broken his nose. Gritting his teeth, he wrenched himself onto his back and stared at the sky, panting at the effort and pain. Dislocated shoulder, too.
What in the hell are you doing, weakling? Get up, growled Resheph. She will kill you. Shit, you’ll die yourself with no help. Let me in. Release me, if only for a little while. I’ll get you moving.
Xaul chuckled weakly, the pitiful sound turning into a wet cough. Blood bubbled out of his mouth, and he turned his head to let it trickle onto the ground. Broken ribs, too. Pierced lung. You’re not getting me up, Resh–
“Daddy?” A small, slight girl of six crouched down into Xaul’s vision. “Daddy, what are you doing? This is a weird game, daddy.”
Xaul gasped at the sight of his daughter. His fingers twitched as he tried to touch her, to hold her close, but his arms refused to move. “Eaute,” Xaul breathed, tears running down his cheeks at she faded away, her quiet face fixing itself in his memory.
See? You’re hallucinating. Let me in.
“No. I die, you die.”
You don’t have to die, Xaul. Let me in.
“No, Resheph.” Xaul coughed again, more blood welling from his mouth.
Let. Me. IN! With each word, Resheph railed against the mental cage that held him, opening the slightest of cracks. It was enough. The bloody god flowed into Xaul and gained a tenuous hold on him. Xaul, his Kounnar activated by Resheph’s influence, rose unsteadily, his left arm hanging uselessly against his side. As Resheph strengthened his grip, Xaul’s tattoos began to show themselves, the red sigils glowing through the blood that was spattered over his clothes.
Epsilon, said Resheph, broadcasting his thoughts throughout the area. This is Resheph. Don’t worry about me taking you over; Xaul’s dying, and it’s taking all I’ve got to keep him moving. He lost his katars in the fall, and I need a weapon. Get me a polearm, a bill. Finishing, Resheph threw all his power into keeping Xaul alive.
Xaul stumbled over to a tree and collapsed against it, giggling weakly as blood dripped from his lips. Madness gripped him now, and he would do his level best to kill anything that moved before he died.
Epsilon was moving instantly. If he was to gain any advantage from his surprise attack, he had to act fast. As cooling fins sprang from the top of the energy pistol, the Esper slapped the weapon back onto his hip and threw himself out of his cover. With a psionic thrust downwards, he nearly flew out of the concealing plants in a splash of dew. He turned a quick flip in midair to reorient himself, and landed a good five yards beyond his initial position, facing down the enemy he had fired upon.
A powered exosuit? No wonder his mind was blurred, thought the Esper in surprise. Also no wonder that he seemed relatively undamaged. There was a large scorch mark along the mecha's left leg where the armor was seared, the damage seemed minimal. Dammit, that should have taken his leg off! Has Sentinel's power lessened for this Tournament? He hadn't noticed a change in the weapon when he examined it prior to the match...perhaps its power had been suppressed since he first entered the Garden!
No matter the state of his weapon, Epsilon was given no further time to ponder. The mech pilot made a rather unnecessary announcement, Yes, I'm sure you do see me. That would be expected, now that I've shot you and attacked openly, before crouching and launching himself into the air. Flames roared from the mech's boots, scorching the forest floor and sending an intense wave of heat washing over the Esper. Sweat now dripped constantly beneath Epsilon's mask, gathering in beads along its lower rim. He ignored it as the mecha rocketed into the canopy.
An airborne attack. So simplistic. Does he really expect that to work? Epsilon's lip curled in a smirk beneath the cool metal mask. Dodging would be a simple matter, once the pilot began to fall he would be unable to adjust his aim and the Esper would have no trouble disabling him. So as the mecha exited the canopy with a roar of exhaust and the cracking of branches, Epsilon took off across the scorched clearing, heading toward the woman and Xaul. He planned to be behind the mech when it landed, which would be the prime position to attack the vulnerable joints.
That plan fell apart immediately when a blast of emotion slammed into Epsilon's mental walls. Fear, surprise, and pain, pain, PAIN like the Esper had rarely felt, and it was coming from Xaul. Epsilon locked onto his partner's mind just in time to see his ally's limp body crash to the forest floor. Agony rippled across their mental bond, and the shock of it nearly made him stagger. Entirely disregarding the mecha now, he flashed through the underbrush towards his friend.
"XAUL!!" The cry tore its way from his throat as he leapt and landed by his fallen partner. He crouched at the dusky-skinned man's side as bright blood bubbled from between the man's lips. "No, I swore that this wouldn't happen...No, dammit, get up!" Xaul gasped and twitched his arms, murmuring a word, a name, that Epsilon couldn't understand. "I won't let you die, Xaul! Get up!" For so many years, Epsilon had been alone. His only interaction was with the scientists who used him for a research subject. Now, when he broken free of that damned existence, when he had finally found an ally and a friend, that friend was dying. Dying, and Epsilon could do nothing. A cold rage flooded him, and he cursed himself for lacking the training to use his mental powers for healing. But then, Xaul got up.
Epsilon jumped to his feet as Xaul laboriously dragged himself standing. Epsilon drew in a sharp breath as the Kounnar blazed, the sigils shifting almost as if they themselves were moving Xaul. The Kounnar...moving Xaul...Resheph! he hissed as he made the connection. It was confirmed an instant later when the bloody god's voice echoed down their connection. Epsilon slammed his mental walls shut, but he heard the god's foul voice anyways. It sounded abhorrent, like the moans of a gut-shot soldier mixed with the laughter of a rapist. But Epsilon knew what the god was trying to do. Resheph's mission was now the same as his own: keep Xaul alive.
How ironic that he has become our anchor, thought the Esper. "Here, Resheph. Keep him safe." He called on his power, shaping the energy within him. A spark of silver blazed in his outstretched palm, and flowed outwards in both directions, forming a long stave. A final flash on one end solidified the hooked blade of the bill, and Epsilon tossed the now-solid weapon to Resheph. Now, able to do nothing more than have faith in the god (the irony struck him again), he turned back towards the blast zone and called his power to face the falling mech.
As he descended back through the jungle canopy, causing another hail of twigs and tree branches, Nikolai watched in amazement at the speed his opponent had. Granted that this was one of the more obvious moves, and was more easily avoided. The clanner twisted mid air, and scanned for his enemies once it became known that his target was no longer at the spot where he would land.
"Freebirth!" the battle armoured warrior cursed to himself, silently chiding his lack of tactics. Because of this, he didn't remember that he was in mid air, and how close to the ground he actually was. The clan warrior failed to prepare himself for landing. The battle armour, coming down faster that it went up, hit the surface of a large sized pool of stagnant water and mud, nearly emptying the entire contents of the pool into the surrounding jungle before embedding the battleclaw in the mud about two and a half feet up Nikolai's arm. "Oof" was the only thing that came out of Nikolai's mouth as he landed on his face, and blacked out momentarily. What Nikolai did not notice was the fact that the water from the pool flowing back into it.
A few moments later, Nikolai awoke, his battle armour's faceplate covered in mud. Cautiously he stood up, causing water and loose mud to slough off the curved Ferro Fibrous armour. There was a little resistance from his left hand, which had ended up embedded in the mud, attempted to wipe the mud off his faceplate. Failing that, he took a few cautious steps, and found a tree, although not through conventional means. Nikolai finally managed to scrape away enough mud so that he could see by using the barrel of his flamethrower on the end of his right arm. "Dezgra, Chalcas, Stupid, FREEBIRTH Techs," Nikolai shouted once he was able to see, "Remind me to beat them when I get back to the Home Worlds. They should have forseen something like this!"
Finally able to see, he spots the gunman, who looks around forty meters away, about twice the distance between himself and the blast area. He started moving toward the gunman, starting to move faster with each step. When he reached the blast area, a pair of missiles streak out from the packs that are above his shoulders, all the while continuing his headlong charge into the gunman.
Round two is over! Thank you for participating! A judge will attend to your thread shortly.
Tvier Valka Seula versus Bang, Whoosh, Slice, Death
(TwinDeath/Exspherius versus Gordie/BlackandBlueEyes)
As I hate using colors to differentiate between groups, T.V.S.'s scores and comments will come first in the categories and B.W.S.D.'s will come second. Please keep in mind these are averaged-out scores between the players on each team.
STORY
(21.5, 19)/30
Storytelling (out of 5): 4, 3
- TD and Expherius, you both did a good job of incoporating your character's stories from beyond the tournament itself into the battle, and I greatly enjoyed reading about TD's fallen family and past without having to go back and go through his profile or past threads in order to understand. Everything made clear and perfect sense, although I would've liked more as to the tournament itself and whatnot. Just a bit more detail and such as to the god trapped within Xaul and/or Ex's experiments upon him and how, or if, those brought the two together would have probably earned you a 4.5 or a 5. The thing I liked most, however, is that your storylines were present even within the battle itself; it didn't stop once the fighting began. Bravo.
- BaBE and Gordie, you both gave me background as to the tournament itself, but none or very little within the broader spectrum of your storylines. I had to guess at things often from your character's inner and outer dialogue, things that I probably could have found within your profiles if I looked; I shouldn't have to, however. It wasn't bad, but simply put, average.
Setting (out of 10): 7.5, 6
- TD and Ex, I must say that your usage of the setting astounded me at times. In the beginning you both provided descriptions that felt real and immersed me within the reading, and a description that you took advantage of. There were times in your posts where that setting died away slightly, but I still had the basic feel and image in my head that never went away. Plus that fall at the end, involving the trees and branches and the weakened limbs, was a perfect example of using the setting in your writing with your characters.
-Most of the setting here was handled by BaBE, I felt. His writing was the only one of the two that gave me a feel as to just how messy and abysmal the arena was. It was excellent at times, definitely above average writing there. Gordie, I felt that even though you tried incorporating the setting into your writing, it was more of how your character affected it rather the other way around; a rather self-centered view considering the many dangers and problems in the arena, even (and especially) to a metal-suited man such as your character. There were some points where you noted that, but not enough where there should have been.
Pacing (out of 15): 10, 9
- This was pretty solid. Both your writings pretty much matched pace, but your surprise "ending" of sorts with Xaul falling out of the tree and damn near killing himself was good; left me wondering as what would happen next with expectation. I was disappointed when I saw that the thread was closed, as Reseph's sudden involvement only promised to make things more interesting.
- This was alright, but I got more of that PBP (post-by-post) feeling from both of you than I did from your opponents. Again, BaBE gave me less of that sense than you did, Gordie, which boosted your score into the "solid" range. His first-person way of writing gave me less of a spectator's view and more of a feel that I was in the cockpit of the character, which was incentive enough on its own to push me along.
CHARACTER
(21.5, 23)/35
Dialogue (out of 10): 6 for both.
-NOTES FOR BOTH TEAMS: I got a general feel of your characters through their dialogue with one another, but on neither side was there anything that was notably impressive. I felt Reseph's was a bit long winded at times and odd, especially coming from a god, and Gordie's faults were actually noted by other characters from time to time: "I have found a gunman", for example. There was more of a "lack of bad" here than anything.
Action (out of 15): 8, 11
- Nothing out of place here, but nothing particularly special either. There were a couple points, such as near the end, where the action was getting better and more and more involved, but otherwise I got more from your stories and personalities than anything.
- It was in this category that you two shone. I got more out of Gordie's personality from his actions than anything, from the way he broke through the trees and just wrecking anything in his path. BaBE's added irritations and complaints were more and more apparent in his actions as the thread went on, his impatience almost tangible from the scratching and itching and searching. I was disappointed when I saw he didn't get to post.
Persona (out of 10): 7.5, 6
- Your characters were both likeable and believable throughout the thread, although Reseph had me tilting my head a couple times. I got his general persona, however, so it managed to fit in with everything else. A little more on the loss that Ex felt or Xaul's pain at seeing his child would have brought you up higher, but I gave you an extra halfpoint for what WAS there.
- Gordie's persona felt very bland at times and I could often predict what was going to happen from it. While his actions and dialogue made his better-than-thou attitude apparent, I felt it could be expanded upon. BaBE, same with yours; it was there, but could've easily been expanded upon. I only had two of your posts to work with, so I cut a bit of slack there.
WRITING STYLE
(20, 18)/30
Technique (out of 10): 6 for both.
- Don't have much to say here; it was understandable and fine to read, but nothing special. There were points where the writing flowed really well, but they were few and far between. Sometimes the "inner thoughts" broke up the flow in the writing, even if not the pacing.
- Same notes as above, plus these: Gordie, in your last posted you switched writing techniques midpost, going from "moved" to "moves", if you catch my drift. This was irritating to read upon. However, you still earned a six from BaBE's excellent use of first person writing to draw the reader in.
Mechanics (out of 10): 8, 6
- A couple spots where a colon or semicolon would have been more appropriate, but nothing really that a quick once over couldn't find. Your sentences were neither too long nor too short, as I've commonly found before, so that was good.
- There weren't that many spots from you BaBE, but I found several grammatical errors with Gordie. There were several spots where you misspelled things and where you put a comma instead of a period; things like that. Also, be careful of fragments and run-on sentences as I noted above; they're easy to make and hard to find at times.
Clarity (out of 10): 6 for both.
- NOTES FOR BOTH TEAMS: Mostly it was the lack of information in one way or another that caused this "average" score. For BaBE and Gordie, it was the lack of info in their back stories or equipment; for TD and EX, it was past experiences in the tournament and some spots where an ability was activated, for example. In either case, both teams pretty much got the same score here.
WILDCARD
(4, 3)/5
Final Scores:
Tvier Valka Seula: 67
Bang, Whoosh, Slice, Death: 63
Team Tvier Valka Seula is the winner and moves on to the next round!
TwinDeath and Exspherius gain 550 EXP and 200 gold pieces.
Gordie gains 100 EXP and 75 gold pieces, BlackandBlueEyes gains 250 EXP and 50 gold pieces.
Exp and GP added!
Both members of Tvier Valka Seula are level 1!