Battle at your leisure folks. This thread must be completed by January 9th, 2014 at 12:00 AM EST. If you finish early, please submit it for judging per usual.
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Battle at your leisure folks. This thread must be completed by January 9th, 2014 at 12:00 AM EST. If you finish early, please submit it for judging per usual.
Elthas requested a very simple arena for his battle against the mysterious Zack.
Well as simple as things could possibly get for the mind of an accomplished painter and sculptor. He'd imagined whole worlds, and that was the theme of the arena. Another world, another place similar to Althanas where there were was an entirely different group of Heroes and Villains. New resources to exploit. Elthas sat on a rocking chair located outside one of the many houses. The style of architecture was commonplace for Ayenee during it's pre technological era. Ayenee was a living, breathing world, and it was located somewhere beyond The Gates of Sensibility. Elthas had heard some of the older folk in his home town speak whispers of Ayenee before. And that is the vision he'd wanted to share with the world. Elthas looked about the town of Ayenee, it was located very close by to the central Castle of Ayenee in the kingdom of Ayenee. It was a simple naming structure, Elthas knew, but it was elegant at the same note.
Elthas sat on a rocking chair that was also designed in the artistic flair of the Ayenee denizens. People were NOT present in the arena however, they were inside their homes and observing the event that would soon unfold from that presumed safety. Elthas was smoking. He had a long and well crafted mahogany pipe that was lit. Wisps of cannibus herb swirled up into the air, it was a particularly strong variety too. Elthas wanted to be ready for the match that would soon follow. The cannibus herb had a known medicinal effect and could make people relax. Elthas smoked it often when he felt nervous or afraid of something. He read the sheets about Zack Blaze, for he knew about each of the opponents he faced during the first round of The Althanas Leagues.
Elthas was in several of the bracketed matches across the time period of two months. It would be more than sufficient to finish each of the match ups.
Elthas studied the sheets that were before him, he knew that Zack would be a powerful opponent. He was hoping that fellow would give him some leeway in the name of sportsmanship. Elthas was an honorable fighter and was there simply to cut loose and have fun. He had his gear with him, his armor and famous pair of knives. He would use his skill to full effect. By his side, on a windowsill sat a mug filled with Akashiman herbal tea. It also had a good scent, as of honey and other sweet smells. Elthas was letting it cool as he waited for his opponent to arrive.
The township proper consisted of several houses that were weather worn and tempered. The paints were earth colored, and the windows were all shut. It was a mild afternoon in the middle of spring on Ayenee. Ayenee's sun lurked overhead and was visible against the backdrop of the blue sky. As time passed, Elthas would periodically look at a pocket watch to discern how much time had passed. He knew there would be some time before his opponent got there, and that's what mattered the most to an immortal. Time. It swelled onward like an ocean, and Elthas felt the weight of immortality as much as any other of his kind. He sat with his legs propped up on the rails of the lively tavern he sat at. The tavern had an elegant porch and that's where his rocking chair was. He wore a dusty old fedora, tilted downward to hide his face. The pipe was lit and Elthas appeared to be reading very casually. He also wore a basic adventurer's suit. A leather vest, buttoned down, and a long sleeved shirt beneath. Both were colored brown. His overcoat, a simple trenchcoat, was wrapped around the back of his rocking chair. The pocket watch was settled in the vest pocket.
Elthas took a sip of his tea and realized that it was ready.
He felt good, he felt relaxed. The hour was now.
Zack dusted off his jeans, sighing at the amount of dust this strange town produced. He caught the occasional glance of people looking out of their windows as if they were expecting a showdown of grand proportions. Zack had been given much information on his opponent this time thanks to his sources at Misery Business Incorporated. Elthas Belthasar was an immortal, a man who thought himself a dashing rogue in a sea of unremarkable mercenaries.
It was too bad for Elthas, then, that the unremarkable mercenaries usually fired the first shot.
The boy brought his hands onto his head, twisting it until the bones in his neck released a satisfying crack on each side. He rolled his shoulders back and forth, a warm-up exercise Zack usually performed before any match he expected to be a good work out. He moved the bangs from his eyes, placing them back with their blonde brethren. His muscles screamed for a challenge, somebody that would allow him to showcase each and every one of his abilities. He hoped Elthas Belthasar would be that man.
Zack’s eyes fell upon his opponent, the latter rocking in a chair and enjoying some tea, it seemed. The youth crossed his arms and smirked, his eagerness showing in his slouched stance. A wind blew through the town of Ayenee, causing more dust to find itself on Zack’s denim. He leaned down and patted the dirt off once again, standing and wiping off the beads of sweat the sun was causing. He could hear the doors and windows opening ever so slightly from each of the houses around them. The townsfolk wanted to hear some witty banter, or so Zack thought.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he said, much to the disappointment of the crowd.
He heard the unfamiliar voice of the blond fellow before him.
Elthas knew the kid's name was Zack Blaze, and that he was very powerful after he had read the fellow's dossier. However, the monks had given him a deliberately incomplete file and Elthas would have to piece the rest of the information together on his own. Elthas nodded politely, and turned off the blazing embers of his smoking pipe. Sweet cannibus scented smoke swirled upwards into the air from where he placed the pipe down. He then took a pull from the tea to himself relax. Standing up, he placed the mug down and walked out towards Zack. He knew who Zack was, at least vaguely, so it only seemed fair to introduce himself as well.
"My name is Elthas Belthasar." Elthas said in a deeply accented voice. "I am looking forward to a good sparring session with you." Elthas said truthfully. He was having a good time in the Althanas Leagues, and he intended to continue to have fun. So long as people understood where HE was coming from, he would be okay. I have an image to maintain after all. He tipped his fedora towards Zack and removed his daggers from their scabbards. Rotating them both at the same time, he moved into an elegant combat stance. His face became very serious, but held a calm and kind expression at the same time. He clearly was not a blood thirsty monster, and enjoyed combat simply for the challenging aspect of it. Elthas wanted to get better, he knew, so that's why he was pushing himself so hard. Further, he wanted to place rightfully amongst the finalists. He had something to prove...
...Perhaps they all did.
Zack nodded in response to Elthas’ comment. Balling his hands into fists, Zack also got ready to fight. He shifted his right foot behind him, toes pointed to the east while his left foot remained facing forward. From this position, Zack began make small jumps up and down, creating very small clouds of dust around his form. He could hear the doors and windows of the Ayenee people begin to open now. There was no doubt in Zack’s mind that his strange and shy spectators were trying to sneak in further for this super special fight.
“Same to you, “ Zack said, his eyes focused on his opponent’s daggers. The metal from the blades glistened in the sun, the points reminding Zack more of a snake barring his fangs. For this particular fight both combatants would have to get close to one another to strike. Zack’s lips turned into a scowl; he had to be sneaky in order to prevent Elthas’ vipers from sinking their teeth into his peach-scented flesh.
Zack moved his right hand forward much like one would throw and underhand pitch. As he did so, a ‘spark’ ignited from his hand, creating a flame that ran across the ground, kicking up dust and leaving clumps of dirt in its wake. While the shark fin like fires only came up to an average person’s knee, it would be quick to engulf the entire body if it made contact. At the same time, Zack disappeared instantly, appearing directly behind and above Elthas, his feet starting a bicycle kick that would hopefully floor the warrior directly into the mouth of his hungry orange flames.
((Zack has simultaneously used his ‘Heat Up’ technique, his teleportation stone, and his Jogging Practice to try and hit Elthas with a very severe one-two combo of awesome.))
Elthas felt it become unnaturally hotter, not that it wasn't already hot.
However, the heat in question was of the arcane or supernatural quality. He looked down for a moment and that was all the distracting that was needed. When he looked back up, his opponent was gone for a moment, but Elthas was attempting to move. He was trying to second guess his opponent, however, it wouldn't turn out that way. Zack's fire spark ignited and touched the air. The attack struck Elthas dead on and scorched him for a moment or two, leaving him completely exposed to attack. Elthas cried in agony as he was burned by the magical fire.
As the magical fire continued it's burning path towards Elthas, Elthas fell to the ground as he was brutally kicked from behind. The bycicle kick, of course, connected. Elthas fell face first into the fire, and covered his face with his arms so as not to burn himself further. The fire licked his clothing and flesh producing the smell of charred skin. He felt pain and agony where the flames licked him ceaselessly. He attempted to roll away from the fire, feeling mostly the pain from the burn. Zack's kicking technique had connected true, but Elthas mostly felt agony from being burnt. He ended up on his back a few paces away looking up at the sky, keeping his face covered with his arms. His clothing were a mess, he was a mess, and he did the only thing that honest men could do at such a point. He didn't care of some thought him pathetic, he cried in agony.
Zack jumped off of his opponent as the flames consumed their victim. He landed on the ground, kicking up yet another cloud of dust. Elthas rolled around in pain screaming from his charred skin. The smell of burnt hair and flesh permeated the air and caused a few of the spectators to close their windows. Zack brought his thumb over to his nose, flicking it as if the complicated combo was no problem for the youth. He swung both of his arms back and forth and hopped on the ground once more, prepared for whatever was to come next.
Overhead he could hear vultures between Elthas’ moans of agony. The flames still licked at his foe’s clothes despite his rolling to try and put them out. Zack pursed his lips to the side, placing his balled fists upon his hips. If Zack knew that Elthas was going to be this easy, he wouldn’t have bothered coming out the gate with such a powerful combo attack. He brought his hand into the air, motioning it up as if to tell Elthas to get back up. He would offer no apologies for causing so much distraught to his opponent. This was a battle and in battles one was to show no regrets.
“Whenever you’re ready,” Zack said again with much more venom in his tone. His hand cackles with electricity as he continued to motion for Elthas to rise. If his temporary enemy continued to prove himself unworthy of Zack’s skillset, he would quickly put the warrior out of his misery.
(Conclusion Post)
Elthas growled in agony but the pain soon subsided.
He was quickly regretting ever joining the Althanas Leagues, and expecting a fair contest. After all, they are just barbarians... Elthas could not shrug off his pain, he was not hearty of constitution and endurance. But he WAS very smart, he had to use his skills to fullest capacity. His roll managed to put out a few of the flames, and his tears subsided, helping him regain his focus. His vision blurred. So that's what this is all about huh? No fair fights, just punks like him showing off to their girls back home...what a waste. There's no honor in this... Elthas pounded his fist on the ground and managed to find his daggers. They were nearby, his face was spared the brunt of Zack's flame attack. He looked at the blond boy for a moment or two and growled. Then, he did in fact rise.
"Didn't sign up for this shit. First that brat that killed me, now you. I was expecting a fair contest of wits and shit like that. But I guess that's too much to ask for nowadays since you're all fucking barbarians." Elthas sighed. He was angry and in pain, his skin was cracked from Zack's fire. He was trying to calm himself down as he looked at the blond boy, staring with something similar to hatred. However, there was something else that was there too. Pity. "I pity you barbarian. If killing's all you're good at then that's your curse." Elthas would continue to fight until he was incapacitated or dead. Elthas steadied himself, his knees were shaking and his whole body hurt like hell. He could smell his own flesh scorched and he wanted to puke.
However, he would save it for later.
There was a job to do.
His hands cracked as he wrapped his fingers around his daggers. He held them in a much tighter combat position, the daggers had been spared much of the brute force of the kid's fire. Elthas wanted to go home. He knew that the rest of them were going to be merciless killers all, and that had greatly soured his mental image of The Altanas Leagues. He was promised a contest of wits and ingenuity. What he got instead was savage blood sport. He would not participate in the next season. This was an all or nothing gamble, and Elthas was on the losing end.
He tried to come up with some sort of a plan to use against Zack, but what could HE do against someone capable of controlling the elements? Zilch. That's what. And Elthas knew he was far out classed in The Althanas Leagues. He would never again grace a contest of strength with his presence. Ever. This was it, Elthas sighed and did the only logical thing he could do. Much to the chagrin of the observers in Ayenee township, and those on Althanas, Elthas knew when he was outmatched and outgunned. It was a fool's battle. And Elthas was a humble man, he did not have the desire to become a great champion of old. He just wanted to survive. And so, as Elthas stood there, he did something that would surprise them all. Even himself someday. He sat down, and placed his daggers on his lap. "I SURRENDER." Elthas said. "You got this match, I no longer wish to fight. Think whatever you wish of me. But, this is not what I was expecting out of The Althanas Leagues. I hope that our paths NEVER cross again Zack Blaze." Elthas said and waited for the Monks to "turn off" The Citadel combat chamber and allow the disgraced Elf to go home empty handed.
Elthas stood with barely intact skin and a smell nobody in their right mind would want to be around. He berated Zack with a slur of clichés that made the youth internally gag. He had also admitted Zack to be the better competitor, sitting patiently as he waited for the citadel monks to tear down their illusion. Zack tightened his hands into fists, a small chuckle escaping the street fighter’s form.
“What’s so funny?” Elthas questioned his tone like that of someone who had given up entirely.
“You’re a fool,” Zack said, running straight towards the warrior and grabbing his neck. Elthas’ eyes grew wide as Zack lifted him into the air with his left hand. With his right hand the youth began punching his foe in the face. He could hear the women and children of Ayenee screaming in terror with each hard electricity filled blow he brought to Elthas’ features. Zack simply did not care anymore; he too had become fed up with his League opponents.
“I have had to deal with wimpy ice mages,” another punch delivered, loosening teeth from Elthas’ mouth. Streams of blood were starting to cascade down each orifice of the man. “Naked, weak vampires,” the lightning within Zack’s fists grew, popping with each hit and sending Elthas’ ace into non-voluntary convulsions. “Brooding, emo assassins,” his fists were now overtaken with both flame and lightning alike, causing bubbles to form across what was left of his opponent’s face.
“And you!” Zack threw the lifeless body of his foe to the ground, breathing hard from his rage induced beat down.
“You were my hope for a decent opponent. Somebody that didn’t rely on cheap tricks or their own useless abilities to try and outclass me! You were supposed to be different! You know why the monks didn’t take down the arena after your surrender?!” Zack’s flaming hands shot several more fiery blasts towards Elthas’ corpse; cremation in its cruelest form.
“Because I have to acknowledge and accept your surrender! Because both parties have to agree that this was a win for me and a loss for you! I refuse such a resignation until there’s nothing left of your Thayne-cursed body!”
It was at this point that Zack realized he was shouting his frustration at nothing more than a charred skeleton. Elthas’ knives had been welded to his bony hands. Zack grinded his teeth together, turning from his opponent. The arena began to fade, monks hurrying in to procure the corpse of the Ayenee local.
“The victory today is mine.”
(Conclusion post)
Elthas woke up in the infirmary.
He was shaken to the core, and had to rethink himself. The League made Elthas second guess his ability to do ANYTHING right at all. That probably was the most humbling experience of all. In the next few months, Elthas would look at who he was as a person, as a man. The tournament had showed him one thing: the nature of beasts. Beasts fought in tournaments, beasts of all walks of life. He remembered the insane look that Zack had given him. You are a fool... Zack had said in Elthas's harsh judgment. Elthas growled at that. Maybe he's right. Elthas thought to himself. I expected nothing more than a fair competition. What was so foolish about that? Elthas was hurt badly, not by Zack's crushing blows to his physical vessel, but by the crushing blows to his ego. I am weak... Elthas thought with certainty. I have to change that and grow more powerful, I can never allow a replay of what happened today. Elthas felt the bandages wrapped tightly around his body.
[i]Zack is a monster. I hope to never again come across him.[i] He looked at his side and saw a table with some food and drink present. A kind looking nurse was present.
"You did a brave thing out there." She said calmly.
"Don't." Elthas suddenly looked at her with an angry expression startling the nurse. "I don't need your fucking pity. I know I fucked up by even joining this shit!" Elthas was angry, he slapped a chalice filled with a nutritious drink on the ground. The chalice spilled it's contents slowly on the ground. Elthas unwrapped his bandages slowly.
"Elthas! Don't do that your injuries have not healed yet..."
"My injuries will become my power. My hate will become the fuel for my legacy." Elthas unwrapped his body completely, scarred and burnt tissue was present. He was a hideous creature at that point, reduced to little more than a monster. No thanks to Zack Blaze. "LOOK AT ME!" Elthas yelled.
The woman looked at Elthas with fear in her eyes. "I spit on you and all your Thayne." Then, bandaged and still wearing the simple clothing that the hospital provided, Elthas walked out of the infirmary area entirely on his own.
Something hideous had happened that day...something dark and very twisted.
Elthas died.
FIN.
“Was all that really necessary?” Zack’s ally, the ogre Makai, asked the youth as he stepped out of the room. Zack’s response was a look that would intimidate the fiercest of Althanian beasts. It was this look that caused Makai to not prod any further, and instead simply follow his master out of the citadel.
“Can I seriously not find somebody worthy to fight in this damn thing?!” Zack yelled to nobody in particular, his hands still smeared with the blood and melted flesh of Elthas. “I only have one more opponent, and I don’t even know who it is yet! Given my ‘competition’ so far, if you can even call it that, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was fighting my own damn shadow!”
“Pretty funny you say that,” Makai said as he held a list of Zack’s opponents in his massive hands. The youth had been teaching his monstrosity of an ally how to read and write since their inaugural outing together. Now the raging beast had become quite good at reading tradespeak, even the hastily written in opponent that was listed as Zack’s fifth and final opponent for the Althanas League. “You may just be doing that.”
Zack paused for a moment, turning to look at his friend. “What do y---“
“Kyla Orlouge.”
Zack’s eyes widened, his demeanor both physically and mentally completely shifting from the raging fighter of seconds before. Kyla Orlouge was a legend, one of the biggest names on Althanas. She had been the only Mystic to conquer both Light and Shadow magic, she was the daughter of the renowned Sei Orlouge. Surely if anybody was going to give Zack a decent battle, it would be her.
“Those sons of drakelings…” Zack whispered to himself, “Saving the best fight for last, eh?”
“So, what’s next?” Makai asked, handing Zack the papers.
“First, a trip to the bazaar, and then, we’ll try to see just how soon Miss Orlouge would like to fight someone worth her time…” Zack chuckled.
Thread Title: League A (Division 1): Elthas_Belthasar v. Zack Blaze
Judgment Type: Full Rubric
Participants: Elthas_Belthasar vs Zack Blaze
Plot: 13 --- 15
- Story- 5/10---5/10
Both parties attempted to add story elements to the battle. Elthas added a preface and fleshed out his continued purpose near in his conclusion. Zack didn't preface much in the beginning but his resolve became clear during the beat-down scene. Elthas also continued monologue during the fight which furthered a story purpose. This was combated by Zack's additional follow up making mention of his next match. Pretty even at the attempt in story.
- Setting- 4/10---5/10
Both players made very clear attempts at describing the setting. However, Zack made continued reference to the townsfolk that Elthas set up in the beginning. This, plus small references in the weather and description of the dusty, arid earth was the upper hand for setting.
- Pacing- 4/10---5/10
As far as action and tempo, both players kept the flow relatively quick. Once past the introduction, actions occurred one after the other with little pause for inner reflection or over description. Zack kept a certain tempo through his writing but did his some snares with unusual comma placement. Elthas made repetitive usage of not only his name, but Ayenee as well. There also was three or four occurrence that made mention that Elthas had read up on Zack. This repetition hurt the flow.
Character: 16 --- 16
- Communication- 5/10---5/10
This battle did not allow for much witty banter or dialogue. The second half of the thread was rich in monologue and Elthas was keen to use inner monologue to convey to the reader his thoughts and purpose. Both players used speech to minimal impact in the tone. Near the finale, both players created tension and conflict with a bout of anger.
- Action-5/10---5/10
Nothing too exaggerated happened in terms of action. Zack came out of the gates with a full force attack and the suspense of which was minimized by full receipt of the damage by Elthas. Although there was a display of combat tactics by Zack, political tactics were used by Elthas. Both of which were conveyed plainly and to a direct purpose. The battle could have used more drama and suspense.
- Persona- 6/10---6/10
Personalities were the strongest in this fight. Elthas tried to uphold the image of a regal fighter who sought to gain sport from the battle. Zack also sought the same, but on a completely different level. This pent up frustration of being beat down and dealing with the uncivil spoke volumes about Elthas's character. The opposite rang true for Zack where his frustration in dealing with weak opponents sent him into and uncontrolled rage. Each character clearly displayed their presence.
Prose: 15 --- 16
- Mechanics- 4/10---5/10
Elthas ran into issues with word choice and repetition. This sorely detracted from the potential of the read. Sentence structure was also off, occasionally forcing a reread to understand the information being conveyed. Elthas also used a majority of passive voice throughout his posts. Zack had a few errors in sentence structure where a clause was inserted but to no real merit to story. The break was mid sentence with caused a pause to figure out it's purpose. There was also one issue in tense change and a mediocre use of passive voice. Punctuation aside from that seemed proper on both accounts.
- Clarity- 5/10---6/10
Due to the areas mentioned above, Elthas's writing suffered in clarity. Reducing repetitive information, repetitive words, and focusing more on the active voice of the writing would increase clarity of the writing. Zack, aside from the solo error in tense and misplaced clause, had a clear presentation of content. The writing flowed linearly and conveyed the purpose with the occasional need to review.
- Technique- 6/10---5/10
Elthas had an interesting ebb and flow to his writing. The use of a single sentence in contract to larger paragraphs helped establish emphasis. Smaller sentences in contrast to longer ones created diversity through the read. Elthas also utilized clarifying sentences to original actions. One such being: "He had something to prove... Perhaps they all did." These are pretty common, but they are effective at creating intrigue and depth to the story. Zack used colorful imagery throughout and stretched his usage of adjective to create versatility in describing the same actions differently as they occurred. Zack also used a method of clarification to great potency: "Zack’s flaming hands shot several more fiery blasts towards Elthas’ corpse; cremation in its cruelest form."
Wildcard: 6 --- 5
I honestly wanted to see more out of this conflict. Perhaps it was Elthas leaving the Leagues or Zack's overwhelming power in comparison. Either way, the battle was pretty flat. It was written out well, but in terms of movie scenes, would not be the edge of your seat experience. The writing held purpose for both parties, but just lacked that umph from a good fight. I would like to see this as a rematch once Elthas has taken his character through this dark transformation. I'm interested to see how the results of this battle effect his continued story.
Final Score: 50---52
Zack Blaze Wins!:
- 1500EXP!
- 60GP!
Congratulations!
Elthas_Belthasarr Receives:
- 450EXP!
- 30GP!
EXP & GP Added!