Dysphoria

[Karuka]

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Taische curled under Taodoine’s wing, feeling safe despite the dangers inherent in the jungles of Luthmor. Her mother had already scared away the snakes, the cooking fire had been turned into a sweet fire to keep away the biting bugs, and anything big that came would find itself facing worse than a small fire, because her mom was more powerful than anything.

She hadn’t yet seen that notion successfully challenged.

“Tell me a story about a time you were really scared.”

“Y’know I don’t get scared.” Karuka’s hand ran over the thick mass of black hair that belonged to her only child, occasionally reaching over to scratch the sleepy phoenix who made it his habit to snuggle with the little girl while they slept.

“Yes you do. I saw you get scared. Once.”

“An’ I pray y’ never know that type of fear. All right. I’ll tell y’ about a time I was scared. I was right about yer age, an’ I went out int’ th’ forest t’ find some late summer berries. I los’ track of th’ time, an’ day turned t’ night. I couldn’t see, an’ had quite lost my way. I thought I’d never see anyone I knew again. At dawn, a great elk stepped out of th’ forest. He looked right at me, almos’ judgin’ me. I didn’t know if he was going t’ trample me or let me go, but he walked right up, sniffed me, an’ nudged me t’ my feet. I went th’ way he turned me, an’ found myself home that afternoon.”

Taische kicked the soft ground, earning an impatient squawk from Taodoine. “You don’t sound scared.”

“I’m not now. I was then. I was smaller’n you are, an’ not near as clever. I thought I was goin’ t’ die out there, in woods I thought I knew.”

“What about these woods?”

Karuka smiled. “I’m part of this place, wee bit. We’ll not get lost.” She bent to kiss the little head. “Sleep. Dawn comes early.”

Her daughter was asleep within a few minutes, and Karuka got up, moving through the overwhelming darkness of the jungle to tuck some more wood into the fire.

“Did'ja ever find what y' were lookin' for?" She framed the next syllable almost like a ward, warning the shadow lurking beyond the fire’s reach that she wasn’t what he remembered, almost daring him to try to test her.

“Kor.”