Okay first I would definitely recommend typing all your posts in a word processor like Microsoft Word, or if you don’t have that, try
www.openoffice.org. They have a free one. It will catch a lot of those simple spelling mistakes we all tend to make when typing. For example, horizon instead of horizen. By the same token, give your posts a good read through before posting them. For example you wrote “… brushes low branches out of his with his right hand”. I’m sure you meant out of his
way, and a quick read through would probably catch that.
Overall I will say your post is better than most of those just starting out. You take the time to describe some things around you, which is good, but could be done a bit better. Throw in a few adjectives describing how things look, feel, and sound. Use all your senses. This is something I also struggle with, but can make your writing much more immersive. Remember that you’re trying to paint a picture with words.
Also, make sure you carefully read your opponent’s post. I wrote that the pool is surrounding the base of the statue, and I ended the post with Sorahn standing in front of the pool, facing the large wooden doors. I was a little confused when I read about the “structure” that Tenmatsu approached, while apparently looking for Sorahn, who was running around. Try to keep the continuity going to keep from confusing your readers. Also, I’m not sure if the movement you were talking about was Sorahn jumping down from the pillar or something else, but keep in mind that controlling someone else’s character is called bunnying, which is generally frowned upon, as well as against the rules. Not saying you did, but just keep it in mind.