Round 3 is concluded, judging will follow soon!
Round 3 is concluded, judging will follow soon!
Cold, jade eyes that liquify
eyes that are merciless,
staring in mute mockery
and in mockery of the muteness
Battle Judging
Round 3: Ashiakin vs. Yamihara
Nice beginning here, but I'm afraid it only barely reached the middle and did not come close to the end (thus the Pacing and Continuity scores). That's gonna hurt both of your scores, I'm afraid! Also, I checked the timestamps, and both of you are roughly even in terms of the number of days it took between posts, so I won't be penalizing either of you for inactivity in the score.
We hear a lot these days, what with the movement of the Citadel, about how Althanas needs random battles in random places. But we're hearing less of how to write such random battles well. But I think this is an example. Where are you? Doesn't matter, somewhere random. But you manage to start your fight in a way that isn't "Man runs into woman in woods. Man attacks. Woman defends." You give a logical reason for the battle to begin, as opposed to people that simply run into one another and fight for the hell of it. If we were to take the proponents of random battles at their word, we'd have to assume that the entire population of Althanas was a bunch of grungy yahoos with nothing better to do than bathe in the blood of people they run across in the forest. You, on the other hand, show with excellent flair how to have two people run into one another for no apparent reason and yet still have a solid and believable pretense to fight.
And that's my main "review." In keeping with the new standards for speedier judgings, there will be no commentary in the actual rubric, just numbers.
Yamihara
STORY
Continuity ~ 5/10.
Setting ~ 5/10.
Pacing ~ 3/10.
CHARACTER
Dialogue ~ 6/10.
Action ~ 7/10.
Persona ~ 6/10.
WRITING STYLE
Technique ~ 6/10.
Mechanics ~ 6/10.
Clarity ~ 7/10.
MISCELLANEOUS
Wild Card ~ 6/10.
TOTAL ~ 57
Ashiakin
STORY
Continuity ~ 5/10.
Setting ~ 6/10.
Pacing ~ 3/10.
CHARACTER
Dialogue ~ 6/10.
Action ~ 7/10.
Persona ~ 7/10.
WRITING STYLE
Technique ~ 7/10.
Mechanics ~ 7/10.
Clarity ~ 7/10.
MISCELLANEOUS
Wild Card ~ 5/10.
TOTAL ~ 60
Ashiakin wins! He continues to the next round.
However, because Dorian has withdrawn from the tournament, Yamihara will continue forward in his place as the only other person in this round to actually receive a score.
EXP REWARDS
Ashiakin gains 2363 EXP
Yamihara gains 675 EXP
GP REWARDS
Ashiakin gains 70 GP
Yamihara gains 140 GP
Exile of Raiaera
"He who has knowledge of the just and the good and beautiful ... will not, when in earnest, write them in ink, sowing them through a pen with words which cannot defend themselves by argument and cannot teach the truth effectually."
--Plato, Phaedrus
Althanas Staff Administrator Emeritus