View Full Version : Approved ~The Paladin Rises.~ (Level 3)

08-21-2017, 07:21 PM
(Moderator Note: Making quite a few changes for level 3, bare with me.)

Level 2 Profile: ~Level 2~ (http://www.althanas.com/oldworld/showthread.php?27051-Lorenor-(-2-))

~Name: Lorenor (Removing the last name/Clan Name I think it's more mysterious without that information)

~Age: Immortal. Records exist that place him around the time of the first major Demon War of Althanas, perhaps older than that.

~Hair: None/Bald.

~Eyes: Glowing Blue Energy.

~Race: Undead (Changing this slightly too.)

~Height: 5'.0"

~Weight: 250lbs of Raw Muscle.

~Job Class: Paladin

~Title: Apprentice/Squire

~Alignment: (LG) Lawful Good

~Element: The Holy Light

~Psychological Profile:

(Level 3) Lorenor is different now. As his connection to ~The Holy Light~ deepened, he quickly became one of the first few Undead Paladins. His connection to The Ixian Knights/Sei Orlouge was severed in it's entirety as he developed a deeper bond with ~The Holy Light~. He no longer needed ties to the past. A past that was shattered with the breaking of The Tablet of The Ixian Knights and thus history was forever altered. Lorenor is a serious student of ~The Holy Light~ and has purged the negative effects of N'Jal's taint from his very existence. He is a serious man, with strong convictions and a faithful belief in ~The Holy Light.~ Lorenor acts as a harbinger and a precursor towards major events of history. As they unfold...he is a messenger of sorts. Bringing with him a sense of hope to prevent disaster from occurring on Althanas. He has a become a true Heroic figure on the larger stage of things.

~Vice: Greed

~Virtue: Leadership

~Description: Lorenor is Undead (Unsent) and has an Undead's physiology. He is built shorter than most Adventurers but is massively structured. He has toned muscle structure and a stocky build. His face is highly defined with deeply set features. He now has glowing BLUE eyes where once they were filled with a tangible darkness. Lorenor is bald, and stands a shorter stature. He has perfect posture. Lorenor has a pale/alabaster skin tone that is an after effect of his reformation process. He wears simple attire, namely the basic dressing fashion of his Paladin's Order. He dresses in blue overalls, and a simple long sleeved brown shirt. He carries on his person, a signet amulet that is part of the Paladin Order. And a Signet Ring. On his person he carries one weapon, a basic Iron claymore used with both hands. This weapon is Average quality. (Note: I am replacing Blade of N'Jal with this weapon and downgrading it somewhat in case there would be any problems with me using the update to get the newer weapon. Thank you for understanding.) He wears a simple traveling cloak that is colored brown. He wears black leather boots and matching gloves. He also wears a tabard bearing the marks of Ixian Knights. His cloak also bears the marks of the Ixian Knights. Lorenor's body periodically glows with a brilliant light that is an effect of The Holy Light's purity.

~History: (Note: For reference I am axing out The Ixian Knights from my storyline and going solo from that whole series of events.) Lorenor was an Undead. In times past, he was a harbinger of apocalypse, of dangerous tidings. Now...he quietly meditated alone in the old ruins of Corone. There were answers he was seeking, answers that only ~The Holy Light~ could provide. Despite his Undead physiology he had a remarkable connection to ~The Holy Light.~ He worked to develop that connection entirely on his own without assistance from the binding rules of any existing Guilds or Orders. Thanks to this gift, Lorenor found his destiny. He was meant to find The Darkness...and defeat it. So Althanas would be free of it's corruption. And so...Lorenor went on a journey to find other Undead he could convert to the teachings of ~The Holy Light~ and develop his own army.

~Skill Tree~

~(Rank 1/Weak) Leadership/Command-Lorenor is a skilled leader. With his silver tongue, he has a lot of sway over the people under his command.

~(Rank 1/Weak) Swordplay-Through some training with the Paladin Order, Lorenor is now effective at using heavy two handed weapons. His favored weapon of choice is a claymore worn across his back. Lorenor has achieved BASIC skill level with 2-Hand weapons. (Note: I am discarding Lorenor's former knowledge of swordplay and replacing it with this current version.)

~Ability Tree~

~(Rank 1/Weak) Undead Metabolism-(As Per Request, hope this helps Alex!) Lorenor is a special type of Undead that is blessed by The Light. As a result, The Old Hunger has been lifted by The Light. The Light makes it so that Lorenor does not have to eat or sleep and can calm himself by the act of Meditation rather that sleeping outright. Lorenor is still learning the secrets of The Light and his own enhanced state.

~Aura of Vengeance:

(Rank 2: Below Average) (This rank is the original version of this Ability.) (Stance/Combat Effect) A manifestation of The Holy Light. When Lorenor enters combat, he glows brilliantly and his Aura flares up. It is a shining light that causes burning damage against opponents who come in too close. Against normal opponents, this effect can cause basic to below standard damage. (Light burns/ low HP damage/etc.) The effect can be dodged if the person's will power is strong enough, and their endurance is high enough. Further the effect only has a radius of five paces in every direction around Lorenor. This effect is a passive effect and remains active so long as Lorenor is fighting. It does not harm friendly targets at all. (Stance/Combat Effect/Passive) The materialization of his Aura can now be passively activated ~at will.~ It is a shining light that causes burning damage against opponents who come in too close. Against normal opponents this effect can cause basic to below standard damage. ~New~ This burning effect is applied as Conditional Damage modifier and it is a damage over time effect. Lorenor does not control the severity of the dot. The damage does 15% added damage over time on Undead/Evil targets. On critical condition damage the effect is about 25% effective.

~Smiting Slash:

(Rank 1: Weak) (This rank is the original version of this ability. Note: For level 3 I am NOT updating this shindig, I will update it at level 4+) Lorenor commands The Holy Light. With this command, Lorenor can make his main weapon glow with power. The weapon shines brilliantly and can cut through most basic armor with a couple of slashes. It can easily tear through cloth and leather style armor. With effort, it can be used to punch through basic iron equipment. (Such as a Shield or a piece of Armor) On flesh it the smiting attack deals damage as Holy Damage. This effect is active, at all times once Lorenor imbues his weapon. It should be noted those with powerful disenchanting spells can disenchant the effect of this ability and Lorenor would have to reactive it. Lorenor takes approximately one full turn to imbue his weapon in this fashion. But once imbued, the effect stays through the remainder of the battle. Versus undead or Evil targets, the Smiting Slash's normal damage is 15%. Whereas the critical strike potential inceases to 25%.

~The Holy Light- (Rank 1/Weak) (Aura)-Now, Lorenor is a squire Paladin. As with all gifts, Lorenor must start from the bottom and work his way back up. Replacing his intimate knowledge of The Dark, is The Holy Light. During his period of Reformation, Lorenor somehow managed to completely purge the effects of N'Jal's corruption on his body. Replacing the darkness in his very soul is The Holy Light. Though currently a mere flicker of what it will become, Lorenor can periodically make his body glow with a pure light. Note: this effect is purely aesthetic and only meant to calm people down in their times of need. (I envision Lorenor becoming sort of like a Prophet for the Thaynes) This glowing light can last as long as Lorenor focuses. But if he goes into battle, or becomes unable to concentrate, The Holy Light fades away until he can concentrate again.

~Compelling Arts-(New for Level 3) (Rank 1/Weak) Lorenor has acquired a new skill from ~The Holy Light~ and it's teachings. Lorenor, with some concentration, can compel weaker Demons and Ghosts/Apparitions to be compelled to his will and biding. The bidding of ~The Holy Light~. This applies to NPC's only and is purely a story mechanic. Weaker entities of this sort are under the command of Lorenor. He can compel them to do his bidding to a degree of success. The compelling is usually to calm creatures down or put restless Spirits/Ghosts to eternal slumber. This is purely a story/NPC related skill.


~Basic Supplies-Lorenor in his pack, carries a basic set of sharpening stones to keep his weapon in good shape. He no longer needs to eat standard food and drink.

~Iron Claymore-Lorenor's Weapon.

~Cloak- (Nixing the Tabard and Ixian Knights references)

~Signet Amulet and Rings. (Paladin symbols)

Shinsou Vaan Osiris
08-29-2017, 12:43 PM
Apologies for the wait. We had some trouble accessing some information on the old site we needed to begin to approve your update, but the problem has now been resolved. You should hear back shortly.

Thank you for your patience.

09-02-2017, 10:51 AM
Thanks for your patience. A few things to get started; The Holy Light and Compelling Arts are both technically abilities, so please move them to that section. Also, you mention under Inventory that Lorenor no longer needs food or drink. This should be represented with some kind of ability. Let me know when you've made these changes and we'll proceed.

09-02-2017, 11:30 AM
Changes updated as per request.

I updated a Metabolism thing to represent his current evolved state. Hopefully that helps bro! I placed the two abilities in their appropriate tree as well. If any other changes need to be made let me know bro!!!

09-06-2017, 10:25 AM
Sorry again for the delay. Undead metabolism belongs under abilities, but I'll run your numbers now.

edit: Please remove multiple instances of the same ability from your profile. For example, please remove Rank 1 of "Aura of Vengeance" and include all pertinent information in rank 2. The way you currently have your abilities set up makes the profile difficult to work with, and this will only get worse as you continue to level up. Old versions of abilities should be REPLACED by new ones, not left to take up space in the profile. Thank you.

09-06-2017, 11:02 AM
Okay Breaker bro I THINK I did it correct.

I got rid of multiple instances of the same Ability and meshed it with the Ability itself...hopefully that helps bro.

Also I moved Undead Metabolism to the pertinent Ability tree. Also hopefully that helps.

Any further changes I need to make let me know bro you're the man bro!!!

I think I got everything anyway let me know if I did well bro.

09-06-2017, 11:10 AM
That ability still contains conflicting information. First it says it does 10% additional damage to undead and 20% with a critical strike, and later it gives those same values as 15% and 25%. Please edit your abilities so that there is no redundant/conflicting information, otherwise it's difficult to put a power level on them.

09-06-2017, 02:01 PM
Okay bro sorry for any confusion about this...I THINK I edited it correct.

Let me know if we're clear from this point forward bro. Sorry for any confusion on my behalf.

Trying to just streamline things as much as possible!

Any other changes I need to make let me know.

09-08-2017, 11:38 AM
Thanks for your patience and for working with us. Approved.