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Elthas
03-14-2019, 06:37 PM
What is the name of your thread?: Elthas My Son.
Who participated in the thread?: Myself (As Elthas), Altair, Flamebird, Reina, Gavner, Hayate
Number of Posts?: 19
Full Rubric Judgment?: Yes

Feedback Rewards: (Post Length of Thread/10) * ((EXP Needed to Level)*0.05) EXP

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Philomel
04-25-2019, 03:03 PM
Apologies for the lack of contribution here, Elthas. I will try to get some commentary up myself at some point.

Gnarl & Root
04-25-2019, 08:12 PM
There is no working link to that thread. Can't find it to read it.

Elthas
04-25-2019, 08:18 PM
I don't know why the link screwed up but here it is again anyway: Elthas my Son (https://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?1568-Open-to-ALL-Elthas-my-Son) There you lovely doods go.

Gnarl & Root
05-15-2019, 05:56 PM
Hey Elthas, sorry for the delay in posting, but here you go. It's been a while since I held my workshop badge or Judge title, so I'll keep it simple.

Story side of things:-
I liked the overall premise of the story here but it just sort of ended when you were actually starting to get into it. This, unfortunately, affects a lot of things for anyone reading it like this. Characters didn't really get a chance to meet up and interact and there's no real story here to tell and conclude. I think there was meant to be, but maybe you gave up after a delay in posting? I'm not entirely sure but it certainly seems unfinished.

I would have liked to see where it was going, especially once you arrived at the remains of the great tree, but again its kinda hard to comment on this properly because leading up to the tree everyone who posted had their own story to get there and you were all setting the sense of doom after the explosion of the volcano. For those of you who did meet up you jumped forward to the introduction of the bandits real quick it kinda screwed up pacing after the slower paced start.

Writing side of things:-
First of all, I can see that you have improved Pav. So congrats on that, your effort shows. Overall the writing quality was pretty good. So I'll put some picky notes down that I picked up on. I got confused by Hyates posts at times. I wasn't sure who was talking at first glance. Elthas you do stuff like highlight The Great Tree for some reason, when it appears you're also using that to highlight the speech, this is conflicting when reading. Altair used a lot of "He" for everything and could do with trying to find another way around using it constantly.

Overall it's perfectly fine, and we all have our little hick-ups and problems. I know I do!

I do enjoy survival stories in apocalyptic scenarios a lot, so I think with the idea you are running with it had a lot of legs for future stories if you wanted to go there.

Philomel
06-21-2019, 07:01 AM
Gnarl and Root gets 285 EXP and 100 GP from my account for the late adding of this.

All rewards added.