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View Full Version : ~Act 2: Theselak Forged...~



Nosdyn
11-02-2021, 08:47 AM
(Potentially will have Cerna as a partner for this. Otherwise a Solo. Just so we're clear will contain erotic footage. Thanks for understanding.)

It was a typically hot day on the Tular Plains...

He was in his house that day. A large house that was positioned in the central portion of Theselak. It was a city that was built for the sole purpose of been a refuge point for Undead and all sentient races of Althanas proper. He'd accomplished a lot since leaving Ettermire and her bastard children behind.

The building were forged in demonic architecture style a combination of Undead cultural aspects and Nosdyn's own demonic roots. The buildings were exotic in appearance and a stark contrast to the buildings of Ettermire and Radasanth. The buildings were large multi tiered buildings and the city had grown. From those first nights whence Nosdyn had returned to the Tular Plains and built the city alongside his people. Nosdyn admired the undead a lot.

They had accepted his people and his culture....

He had accepted their own as well, even if N'Jal had not.

He stood outside of his large mansion like house and had his arms folded across his broad chest.

He was a short demon, standing at about five heads and was bald. He had blue skin and amber coloured glowing eyes. He was powerfully built for endurance. He'd survived a direct smite attempt from N'Jal.

He looked at the city of Theselak the wayward sanctuary they had made together, of their own blood, sweat and tears.

He looked at Cerna calmly the newest addition to their fold. She was his partner and mate at that point.

His arms were folded across his chest as he stared at the gathered.

About an hour later, his son, Tharak, ran up to his father. "Father, my lord." He gasped. Catching his breath he'd been running from the large Mage tower at the front of their city to their position. "We have a big problem."

Cerna
11-02-2021, 09:48 AM
Cerna looks at the boy and nods at nosdyn to let her handle this. She approached their son and knelt to his level "Calm down Tharak, you're hyperventilating. Now. Take a breath to calm yourself and tell us what's going on"

Cerna used to be quite stone cold and still is to outsiders. But She knows how to calm those within her group and this was no exception

Nosdyn
11-02-2021, 11:16 AM
Tharak composed himself. He looked at Cerna and nodded. She was the latest addition to their family. "There is a large group of outsiders approaching from Xaliel." He said calmly. "Roughly fifty in number."

Nosdyn cursed loudly. He'd been expecting something like that but not so soon. Can this be the chosen hour? He thought to himself as he looked at Cerna and nodded to nodded to his mate. The undead were a loose society and bound to one another. Nosdyn looked at his son. "What direction are they coming from?" He asked.

He knew though it was a group from Xaliel and likely would be a call to arms soon as they arrived.

Tharak pointed. "Yonder." He said and pointed at the exact direction him and his wife Lilly had scryed the incoming force from their divination tools.

Nosdyn nods. "Derroth prepare a group of our finest warriors." He told Derroth who was a loyal undead warrior. He looked at Cerna and Lady Xelldra. "Come with me." He told them all. A small group of them followed Nosdyn to the front of the city where they could intercept the incoming group.

Nosdyn looked ahead when his messenger raven cawed as the majestic bird landed on Nosdyn's extended arm. "My old friend." He rubbed the head of his companion and fed the raven a treat. The bird had a scrolls attached on his left leg. It bore the marks of Xaliel. One of the noble houses. He removed the scroll parchment and read it. His eyes narrowed. "They wish to meet with us. And expect to talk terms." He looked to Cerna for a moment. "We will be ready instead." He knew how the demon houses operated. He looked at Derroth. "Position yourselves around the town and strike at my signal." He explained and ordered.

Nosdyn was a tactician by that point and had survived the fires of Ettermire.

He meant to slaughter all of them. A short while later Nosdyn watched as the outsiders arrived at their doorstep.

Nosdyn's great cloak flapped in the breeze chaotically like a hungry caged lion.

He stood by Cerna, Tharak, Xelldra and Ellastra no other town folk were visible. The show down would begin.

Cerna
11-02-2021, 12:00 PM
Cerna stood at the side of her mate ready to do battle if it came to our. Her greatsword was with her but she would only use it if the need arose. She waited for one of them to speak standing right between Xelldra and nosdyn

Nosdyn
11-02-2021, 12:44 PM
Nosdyn clenched his fists tightly as he looked at the unfamiliar demon lord before them. "Speak." Nosdyn commanded with some degree of authority by that point.

The other demon walked up to Nosdyn alone, leaving the rest of his soldiers behind. "You know why I am here." The demon began arrogantly.

Nosdyn nodded. "You are here to die." Out there on the Tular Plains there was only one law that mattered kill or be killed. In demon society only the strong survived.

Nosdyn's answer was not unexpected. The other demon clapped for a moment. "You think you are a step ahead of us..."

Nosdyn raised his fist to signal the attack. A moment later there was a laced bolt shot from a crossbow on one of the roof tops. The crossbow's bolt was laced with an incendiary package. It struck the demon lord's chest. He was knocked back a few feet. He cursed and yelled as he attempted to remove the explosive bolt but with a few ticks as signal, it exploded taking a few of his cohorts out.....

A moment later the city's buildings emptied their citizenry out to storm the group of hapless demons. Nosdyn watched his people tear apart the demons with learned effectiveness. Nosdyn hugged his woman and held her close. Cerna. Precious Cerna. He looked at her calmly. "We are sending them a message. Our city only belongs to us. Nobody else. It is a free city." Nosdyn proclaimed boldly.

Cerna
11-02-2021, 12:51 PM
Cerna smiles at Nosdyn and leans into his embrace as he spoke his declaration. This was indeed a free city and Cerna herself would fight to the end to protect it. She was happy to be among allies when she had endured so much to get here

Nosdyn
11-04-2021, 06:55 PM
Nosdyn watched the undead tear apart the demons from Xaliel...

He held his woman, Cerna closely. His eyes narrowed in there, Theselak, he didn't hide behind his mask. He was able to be himself. The undead tore apart the bodies of the demons. Screams of pain and agony. Nosdyn's people had become expert at defending their turf. Nosdyn held his woman closely and he looked at his son. Tharak. "Are there any other contingency forces this time?" Nosdyn asked his son.

Tharak shook his head no. "That was the only group, Father." He said calmly.

Nosdyn nodded gently. He picked up his wife. "Let's get indoors." He said calmly to her.

Cerna
11-04-2021, 07:44 PM
Cerna Nodded and allowed her mate to carry her indoors. She was glad to see their turf was able to be defended without her needing to pull out her weapon. Long before she came to Althanas, She had been a servant and a tool of war. She had since found a new life on Althanas and has no intention on leaving it anytime soon. There was a lot to do for sure. They have a sanctuary for the undead to not only finish building, But defending as well.

Cerna knows all too well how quick the demons are to retaliate. "We're safe for the time being, But if the demons here are anything like the demons that plunder my home world, We may not be so safe for long" She told Nosdyn "We should really bolster our defenses lest others learn of our location" She was a tactical one, and ever wary, But she does know when to prepare for the worst case scenario. An old habit from being a mental servant to an undead king

Nosdyn
11-04-2021, 07:59 PM
He nodded gently to her as they cuddled. "They operate a certain way in Xaliel. There are rules and laws there if they intend to invade it will take time." He told her calmly. As he took her to their bed. He sat down gently. He looked far away for a moment thinking of the ghosts of his past. He looked at his mate calmly after. "As I imagine it is with you I also have too many skeletons in my closet." He explained. "Lady Xelldra says the past haunts me at points. Someday I will have to look into that." He said.

He listened to his mate as she spoke. His hand massaging her lovely belly. "I can go use the secret technique N'Jal taught us to make you warmer and full of life." He explained. It was a form of alchemy and life giving fluids. But he needed her permission for it. He ran his hand gently through her hair. He had a content expression on his face...

Cerna
11-07-2021, 10:39 AM
She nods and smiles as she relaxed in her mate's arms. "Go ahead love. But are you certain it won't burden you? You've already done so much for me from severing my mental shackles to welcoming me into your fold." Cerna asked. Even in life she got flustered anytime someone wanted to aid her.

Nosdyn
11-07-2021, 12:09 PM
Nosdyn smiled as she asked that.

Smiles...they were rare for him those days. But his people always held a warm spot in his heart.

He nodded gently. "You're no burden..." He told her truthfully and looked away for a moment thinking on his past. "In truth...I've always felt that I was the burden. A lord without a people until recently." He said carefully as he sat next to her. "I've come a long way...from that night outside of Ettermire there was a cave where I met N'Jal that time." He told her. "N'Jal took me as her champion." He shook his head. "I've been an idiot." He sighed for a moment and kept looking at her gently. Running his hand through her hair.

"This whole time all I wanted was a purpose. I thought Ettermire would bring that to me. I thought I could bridge the gap between our people and the people of Ettermire. I was wrong. NJal provided me a new purpose though. Walking that path lead me to you." He said to her.

"I don't regret any of it. I just wish that some things could have gone different. Maybe there can be no peace between our people and the people of Ettermire. Thaynes know I tried really hard to bridge the gap." He said to her.

"I will always protect you and be there for you." He kissed her deeply.

Cerna
11-07-2021, 12:13 PM
She kisses back deeply and passionately "I will assist you in bridging the gap however i can. I cannot promise a rapid success as there's things in my past i wish had turned out differently, Yet that turn of events also led me to you as well. And i'll be damned again if i don't try to assist you." She said with certainty.

Nosdyn
11-07-2021, 01:21 PM
He listens to her pledge, further committing to the fact that she was his mate with the approval of Lady Xelldra.

He nodded gently. "My time with Ettermire has passed." Nosdyn said calmly. "But your services as my wife are always required." He smiled gently. He looked away again for a moment, the ghosts of Ettermire haunted him deeply. He never slept as a result of the ghosts of his past. He shook his head. "Anyway my love. No need to worry about the troubles of Ettermire." He said calmly. "We're in Tular Plains now, and our laws are our own." He explained to her. "Anyway my love...I hunger." The passions of the flesh were definitely it's own burden one that he would gladly partake with his love.

He kissed her deeply more. Still running his hand through her hair, stroking her hair gently.

He suckled on her tongue softly as they kissed...

Cerna
11-07-2021, 06:32 PM
Cerna kisses back lovingly and purrs as she held her mate close. She cuddled close to him and at this moment, He was the only male capable of turning this hardened undead warrior into more of a teddy bear, But again, she really showed this side of her only around her family. Any outsiders and she's as stone cold as the day Nosdyn met her. She kisses him deeply

Nosdyn
11-07-2021, 07:13 PM
Nosdyn undressed himself and his wife.

He placed their clothing gently on the floor of their house. Putting it alongside their bed. He kissed her some more eagerly, with hunger. He climbed into the bed with his woman and massaged her tenderly. Kissing her with love and hunger. He massaged her belly softly as he held her close to him. He was used to the cold flesh of the undead, he'd grown accustomed to their cold touch. Many years of making the undead full of life and seed of his own body. He climbed on top of her calmly. "The technique I'm about to use on you is a form of alchemy that N'Jal taught me." He explained. "It's life giving fluids. A combination of my natural endurance with the secret process of our love making." He told her calmly. "It will happen immediately. You'll begin to feel warmth once more." He told her.

Then he slides himself in between her legs once more and fills her up with his large erection...

Cerna
11-07-2021, 10:12 PM
She moaned softly as she relaxed into him. As usual her long tail wrapped around his leg in an attempt to stimulate him the way he liked it

Nosdyn
11-08-2021, 06:49 AM
As he'd done with so many Undead before Cerna...he began to concentrate and summon the secret power.

His body had a faint glow about it at that point, dark red, as he began to summon the process that N'Jal taught him. He was connected to the undead, he knew this deep down. It was his duty to help them all. As his body began to glow he pumped himself deeply into Cerna's body. Slow and deep. Letting her feel every thick inch. He slid his hand on up her thigh to motion that he wanted her to wrap her silky smooth legs around his waist as well...

He pumped into her. Already lusting always for her velvety smooth tightness around him. He kissed her deeply as they make love. He was summoning up enough of the life giving seed that it would happen that very night. Just as N'Jal had taught him. He thrust hard into her, his heart racing from the pleasure as they kiss. He then felt her familiar tail constricting around his leg. He growled loudly as they made love. "More." He moans to her calmly.

He pushes deep inside of her, making sure he did the process completely correct...

Cerna
11-08-2021, 08:53 AM
Cerna did as she was instructed as she wrapped her legs around her Demon. She was being very mindful of her hooves as even an accidental kick can do some serious damage. She wrapped her tail firmly around his leg as she clung to Nosdyn

Nosdyn
11-09-2021, 08:41 AM
The secret technique was already working. She was already feeling warmer against him...

He held her closely against his strong body. Filling her up with warm seed. The process needed a lot of life giving seed for it to work. She wouldn't be truly living in that sense, but she'd be a lot warmer and have access to much of her power...

He ran his hand through her hair gently as he pumped himself inside of her. He needed her as well.

He held her lovely ass firmly, massaging it as he held her closely.

His lips were pressed hotly against her own...

"You'll feel change almost immediately. You won't be truly living. But you won't be cursed by the cold of undeath anymore." He explained to her how the process worked entirely. He was a gifted demon capable of bringing warmth and some semblance of life to the undead...

He held her closely the entire time. His large hands massaging her softly as he held her. The constricting of her tail against his leg made him release into her powerfully. Several large bursts of liquid hot seed. He growled out her name loudly...

Cerna
11-09-2021, 09:10 AM
Cerna purred loudly as she relaxed against him and as he filled her up. She already felt much warmer against him and constricted her tail tightly. She was in a sort of primal lust as she called out his name. She was remembering what it meant to truly love someone.

Nosdyn
11-09-2021, 11:40 PM
Her primal lust affected him in a intense way as well.

He held her close and released several more times into her that night.

His endurance was legendary, and he'd been trained by N'Jal herself. Once upon a time, N'Jal and Nosdyn had been lovers too. The primal lust and the constriction of her tail around his leg made him growl loudly with hunger for his love. He ran his hand gently through her hair. He knew the secret technique had worked. Hot seed spelled out of her love hole, he'd pumped her full of cum...he kissed her deeply the entire time.

His endurance was indeed legendary.

"The secret technique worked." He told Cerna, indeed she was much warmer than when they first met.

He kissed her lovingly as they spoke.

The constricting tail around his leg drove him mad with pleasure. But he wanted to catch his breath a little bit. Many hours had passed since they began their love making session that night. He wrapped the bed sheet around the two of them and held her close. He never slept, but kept his erection deeply inside of her the whole night. He held her close after that intense love making session. His hand massaging her belly softly. They were in the dark at that point, the single candle in their bedroom had gone out hours earlier.

He looked at her calmly the primal lust was almost as intense as his own. He ran his hand through long hair gently..."I love you." He told her calmly.

Cerna
11-09-2021, 11:45 PM
Cerna purred softly and relaxed as he held her. The primal desire keeping her focus. She was thinking about the day they met. When She was nothing more then a stone cold killer.

Nosdyn
11-10-2021, 05:00 AM
From Ettermire, Nosdyn had learned compassion and romance. He'd in the past been a really angry individual and committed a lot of terrifying acts. However, N'Jal had changed him and Ettermire had some small positive influence on him. Despite all of the betrayals he'd been forced to endure. He held his woman closely. He knew she was deep in thought at that point. He kissed her deeply at that point. It was very late into the Tular Plains night. He massaged his woman's belly quite gently. A part of him wished that he could give her children...but that was not meant to be. She was undead...but perhaps...

His own thoughts were calm. He was thinking about Ettermire and her bastard children. The most stinging betrayal had been Lukai Lancaster...even thinking of the simpleton boy pissed him off. He massaged her belly softly.

The fires of Ettermire had been a long series of tests for the Demon Lord. He'd been forged through the fires of betrayal. He sighed for a moment. He looked at his woman. "What are you thinking of?" He was sincerely curious as he thought about earlier, Ettermire had taught him compassion. His long grey beard rested against her bosom. He massaged her own hair gently, his large fingers twirling with his woman's hair.

"I'm just thinking about my past..." He said with a hint of regret. He had wished some of it had gone much different...

Cerna
11-10-2021, 07:37 AM
Cerna looks at him and nods "Same here. Although mostly i was thinking about the day we met. How far we've come since then." Cerna said. "You saw how i started out. A stone cold killer that trusted nothing and Nobody. Till we crossed paths that is"

Nosdyn
11-10-2021, 11:17 PM
Hearing his wife speaking, he nodded gently.

He ran his hand gently through her hair, running his finger through it softly. He enjoyed their closeness. His large amber eyes studied her carefully. His hand massaged her belly gently. He looked at her while she talked.

"I'm not that different from you." He said calmly to her. "I was once little more than a mindless soldier of the demons." The thought pained him greatly. Thinking of his past, and the many betrayals he had to endure. His hands massaged her quite gently. He kissed her deeply. Then he talked a little bit more to her. "In my case my people were betrayed by other Houses." He was explaining to her how the demon houses of the Tular Plains worked. "My family had their own large House once." He explained to her. "Now me and my son are all that's left of House Krotar. I been attempting to rebuild it with our own city and the like. The Demons of Tular Plains do not want to recognize our rights to exist." He shook his head.

"I went through this same mess in Ettermire." He explained to her. "Their houses also conspired against one another greatly." He sighed after a moment. "Thinking of Ettermire always upsets me though." He told her calmly...

Cerna
11-10-2021, 11:21 PM
Cerna nods "Thinking of Whiteout Tundra has the same effect with me....." She said "Don't get me wrong, aside from freezing the place was very beautiful. Wouldn't have minded spending an afterlife there if i had a free will" She chuckles softly

Nosdyn
11-11-2021, 05:38 AM
He held his woman closely.

His hand, large as it was massaged her belly gently. He held her closely. His mouth kissing her neck gently. He enjoyed their closeness and warmth they shared between one another. He sighed with audible happiness. He felt at peace and relaxed in her arms. His hands gently massaging her.

"We can write our own new story together though. Here on the Tular Plains." He began. "Life here is not easy but we protect each other and work with one another." He told her calmly. "Perhaps we're exiled by the other races of Althanas, and it's okay...we have our own citadel here." He closed his eyes for a moment. "I think we are destined for a lot together. Our story is just beginning my love." He told her gently and kissed her softly.

"I think this is the beginning of a better night for all of us." He concluded. He was actually quite intelligent and not stupid like many of his people were. Like many of the demons of the old world were, the ones who were responsible the Demon War that exiled his people to the Tular Plains. "Let's just stay here for a while in each other's arms my love." He said to her calmly as he massaged her.

Cerna
11-11-2021, 09:42 AM
Cerna nodded as she began to relax. She eases herself as he held her.

Nosdyn
11-11-2021, 12:42 PM
That night...

He never slept.

He could not sleep.

For many years up until that point in his life he could never sleep. Too many ghosts haunted him. He was content though as he held his woman. The lovely undead woman in his arms. He looked up at the ceiling of their bed chamber. There was dim lighting in their bed chamber. Natural ambience from the stars above, the celestial heavens.

He considered what to do next at that point. But did not want to disturb her sleep. He merely held her close. Whispered her name every so often and kissed her blue skin gently. They were a perfect match for on another. Nosdyn as well had rare blue skin for his tribe, his people. He listened to her breathing. His own chest rose and fell with every strong breath he took. The smell of sex was strong in the room. From the love making session of the previous few hours.

His strong arms held her closely. Many possibilities poured into his mind as he held her, many enticing possibilities. He could bridge the gap between his people and her own. Perhaps for Ettermire, it was already too late for them. He felt pity for them at that point in his life, but he no longer wanted to commit resources to their aide.

He kissed the top of her head gently. "On the morrow..." He told her that night... "I will take you around town and go hunting with you for supplies and food for the town folks." He told her calmly. "I want you to become even more familiar with the area around Theselak..."

Cerna
11-11-2021, 01:26 PM
Cerna smiles softly as she heard him speak and cutely opened one eye "you don't have to whisper" She smiles softly "I'm not asleep" She opened the other and shifted to look into his. "And yes I'd like that very much"

Nosdyn
11-11-2021, 10:25 PM
He considered what she just told him and that made him chuckle softly. He ran his hand through her lovely and long hair. His chest rising and falling with each deep breath he took. He adjusted the bed sheets so they were wrapped firmly around the pair of lovers. He nodded gently as he listened to her response. "Yeah. Just old habits my love." He told her gently. He hadn't realized he was whispering.

He kept his hand playing with her hair gently, enjoying the texture of it against his skin. His long beard was pressed against her body as they laid against one another. In her arms...he knew peace. It was an interesting sensation really, he'd had many lovers in his long life. But nobody had the effect Cerna had on the storm of rage in his heart. He felt calm and at peace. It was a good feeling.

He held her in his strong arms and listened to the sound of her breathing gently. He knew she also felt at peace and that warmed his heart...

Cerna
11-11-2021, 10:32 PM
Cerna smiles softly "If only i could properly explain to you the extent of what i had been through...But it's quite an ordeal to try and spell out" She laughs softly

Nosdyn
11-12-2021, 06:15 AM
He listened to her calmly. "There is plenty of time for you to try to explain that matter." He told her softly. "I've also been through quite a number of trying traumas in my life too. Don't feel too bad about it." He told his woman.

He massaged her hair as lovingly. The bed around them was built incredibly sturdy and the bed sheets were sticky with sex and sweat.

His hand massaged his woman tenderly. He was glad he didn't have anymore pending matters that month. He would make sure he spoiled his woman always. She mattered to him...she was everything to him.

He breathed deeply for as he laid there with her. The moments with Cerna had become precious and he didn't want to loose her ever. He'd gone through too much loss in his life. Loss, betrayal and back stabbing were common place in Ettermire.

He sighed as he thought of the past.

He regretted none of it. He just wanted to lay there with her forever if could be allowed the chance to...

Cerna
11-12-2021, 08:54 AM
Cerna smiles softly and leans into him lovingly. In her world she had to helplessly watch as her friends perished around her. Some by her own blade. Such little control She had back then. Her tail wrapped around his waist as she thought of that day.

"I had such little control of myself.....all I could do was watch as those I once called my allies fell to my blade....it was horrible. I'm scared that one day it might happen again." It was the first time She admitted fear to him

Nosdyn
11-12-2021, 09:00 AM
Surprisingly, Nosdyn didn't judge her or feel repulsed in any sort of way. He simply nodded being that he was a demon and was capable and had done horrible stuff in his past. He sighed for a moment listening to her.

"We all have regrets." He explained to her. "I'm pretty sure the priesthood of Stonevale, Crux, severed your ties to your former Lord." He continued to counsel her. "Should you ever loose control like that again, I will protect you our people will protect you." Feeling her tail wrap around him once more, solicited a moan form the demon. A moan of pleasure. He massaged her gently.

He knew she was concerned and deeply troubled by her past. "We have each other now and I will help you through whatever comes." He promised her calmly. He meant that too. Nosdyn was quite resourceful..

Cerna
11-12-2021, 11:21 AM
Cerna looks towards him and smiles a bit. She relaxes as he consoled her worries and laid them to rest. She was glad to have someone at her side should things ever get dicey. She laid in his embrace for some time

Nosdyn
11-12-2021, 07:22 PM
A month later...

Nosdyn awoke that morning with his wife in his arms...

He had a bad feeling in his gut, but he would face the challenges of the day with bravery and a calm heart.

He kissed his wife's forehead gently and got up out of the bed for a moment. "Come Cerna, we are needed." He said to her gently. He never would order her unless they were doing their rough play sessions...

He slowly got dressed in front of her and gathered his gear. Out the window in his room he saw that there were guests in their village...unwanted guests from Xaliel. He gathered his weapon and prepared for the worst...

Outside, he and his wife were met with several of his own people and the group from Xaliel. There were ten demons form Xaliel including a well dressed demon lord.

Nosdyn cursed by his wife's side. He walked up to the demon lord and his followers. Clenching his fists tightly. However, he held back and did not attack right away...he would hear them out. "What do you want?" He asked of the demon lord, they bore marks from Xaliel, a lesser house he did not recognize.

"Are you the one called Nosdyn?" The demon lord asked in a gruff Xaliel accent.

Nosdyn nodded. "I am..." He said. "State your business." He had a grim expression on his face, and stood by his wife and his people's side...a wind came in from the west.

Cerna
11-12-2021, 07:33 PM
Cerna stood at his side with her blade drawn. She could already feel her emotions rising as they would if she was commanded by her former king . But she would not act upon it yet. She would wait until she had the all clear to attack.

Nosdyn
11-12-2021, 08:28 PM
Nosdyn observed the demon lord calmly. His own hand rested at the hilt of his two handed prevalida mace. Ready to be drawn at any moment. "State your business." Nosdyn said to the demon lord once more.

The man nodded after a moment passed. "You'll be interested in this Demon Lord Nosdyn." The demon tossed an encased parchment at Nosdyn's general direction.

Nosdyn caught the parchment carefully. He released the parchment from it's case unravelling it. He momentarily released his grip on the two handed weapon at his command. He read the scroll for a moment. It was written in the old demonic tongue, the letters and symbols familiar to Nosdyn from his early education and youth. He read the document carefully, a form letter. "You are serious?" Nosdyn suddenly asked the demon lord blinking at his general direction. "You mean to join our houses?" He was incredulous at reading the letter.

Nosdyn found himself relaxing for a moment, since the Xaliel demons began their assault on Theselak...that new group was not hostile they wanted to be allies...

Several undead villagers were present and would always await Nosdyn's command. Nosdyn looked at one of the closer ones and nodded to the man in a command for the fellow to hold their ground.

They did so, holding their ground and awaiting Nosdyn's command just in case.

Tension was thick in the air.

Nosdyn narrowed his eyes calmly. He was willing to hear their proposal. "What else does this bargain entail?" Nosdyn's eyes read the letter in his hand once more...

Cerna
11-12-2021, 09:09 PM
Cerna doesn't trust it. but would hear them out if Nosdyn wanted to, That doesn't mean she won't voice her opinion however "Last time we encountered your House we were met with a brazen assault" Cerna said to the unknown demon lord "How can we be certain this is a sincere proposal?"

Nosdyn
11-12-2021, 09:36 PM
Nosdyn waited, but his patience was already wearing thin.

He listened to his wife talking to them, offering counsel. He nodded. Then looked at the demon lord. "You've all been at our threats since we became an established city." Nosdyn began. He was weary of further back stabbing attempts but his interest was there that time. "We have good cause to be hesitant of late." He added. He rerolled the parchment in his hand and placed it back in it's container. "Sorry. But no. My wife is right we have been fighting out for months now against your people." He paused for a moment and continued after. "The people of Xaliel exiled me and my House many years ago. An injury I have not forgotten. Unless you want to die right here and now you should go home." Nosdyn wanted nothing to do with their bargains...

The demon lord looked hurt, sincerely like he had just got rejected by local tavern whores. "We shall take our leave then. Nosdyn...you have a lot of eyes on you and your city. Just always be mindful of that." He said calmly and he and his people began to take their leave.

Nosdyn's eyes narrowed. "Thanks for the fair warning but we are good for it." Then...Nosdyn gave the signal to attack right as the demon and his entourage turned their backs on them...

Nosdyn grinned as the undead war machine moved.

Cerna
11-12-2021, 11:03 PM
Cerna moved with the troops as well. She had endured too much crap from them to sit idle this time

Nosdyn
11-12-2021, 11:20 PM
Nosdyn ordered his troops to attack. As before, a bolt with a laced incendiary package was fired from one of the buildings.

The bolt whistled through the air and struck one of the demons dead on, right on it's mark.

The demon was knocked backwards a few paces. Nearby, the demon lord reacted with fear and outrage drawing his sword. A black blade, that glowed with augmented power. By that point he undead, including Cerna, were effectively upon them already tearing the living apart with claws and other weaponry.

Nosdyn slowly drew his large mace like weapon.

He was walking towards the demon lord. That was HIS kill...

Cerna
11-12-2021, 11:27 PM
Cerna acknowledged that an worked to keep the other demons OFF him, Attacking with strategic calculating movements and all the while letting none escape her sight or her blade

Nosdyn
11-13-2021, 05:52 AM
They knew the odds, and what was stacked against them.

For the demons of Xaliel it was all a game to them...all part of their traditions and cloak and dagger bullshit. The very thought of more betrayals and more set backs pissed off Nosdyn complete. Nosdyn enraged made him an extremely formidable opponent. He walked slowly up to the panicked demon lord. Nosdyn pointed his weapon at the man's throat for a moment or two. "You're not going back home." Nosdyn hissed.

The demon lord was shocked as he looked at Nosdyn and his entourage was slowly killed horribly by Cerna and the others. "Why...? Why are you doing this?" The demon lord asked in fear.

Nosdyn shook his head. "Your kind has really grown soft." Nosdyn cursed. "Let me explain why this is happening to you." He told the demon lord calmly. "Fires of betrayal have beset me since I first left Tular Plains without my own House. Now I'm home and I have my own House and my own army." He told the man gently. "I don't need your pitiful and soft resources to make it on my own here in Tular Plains. We've already forged our own path." Nosdyn explained. He began to slowly raise his large battle mace. He swung it down ward.

A moment later it was over and he'd smashed the fool demon lords head completely into mush...

He walked up to his wife, Cerna.

Cerna
11-13-2021, 12:33 PM
Cerna was fighting off the last of the demons and making sure there were no stragglers left. She was taking no chances and she had no reason to take a chance as she had been betrayed as well in the past. Aranor. A king she once saw as a savior to her people had used her and her people as tools of war. It was why she is as stone cold to outsiders as she is "Stragglers eliminated, my love"

Nosdyn
11-14-2021, 07:23 AM
The others gathered around their leaders who was catching his breath.

Using the heavy mace still required a small bit of adjustment for him, but he was rapidly learning the mace arts. He'd smashed their leader's head himself, Nosdyn was no coward. He would tackle any problem as it arrived at their doorstep. He sighed after a moment of catching his breath. Hearing his wife's report he looked at all of them. "We are doing well." Lust was in Nosdyn's eyes as he looked at his wife with the same eager look he always looked at her with. That same hunger and lust. He looked around as the undead gathered around the two of them. The citizens of Theselak knelt before Nosdyn and his queen.

He nodded towards all of them and walked up next to his wife. "There is a storm coming." He said calmly. "The people of Xaliel will grow desperate to attempt to subjugate us. We will answer in kind always." Nosdyn said to his people. He wrapped his right arm around his wife's waist and pulled her close to his warm, hot body. He looked at his people. "When that day comes that Xaliel rises against us...we will be prepared as we always have." He told them all.

He was a leader through and through. He looks at the gathered undead around the two of them. "Destroy their bodies." He orders to his people. "Do not allow them to turn they are not worthy." He hated the demons of that age, what his people had become. Only he and Tharak were demons of a strong age.

They began to rip apart the bodies of the demons.

He looked at his wife. "They've grown soft..." He sighed and held her close. "Let's go home."

Cerna
11-14-2021, 08:48 PM
She nods but took pause after a bit. Her tail flicking the air as she listened "I don't think we're done here just yet" Cerna called out as her eyes narrowed

Nosdyn
11-14-2021, 09:29 PM
Nosdyn hears her calmly and his eyes narrowed.

A familiar scent touches his nostrils and he looked off to his East for a moment when he saw their enemy appear once more to harass them. Nosdyn noticed it when Aranor appeared his, eyes narrowed to thin slits. He studied the blue haired orc for a long moment as the man approached them. Nosdyn unsheathed his prevalida great mace, and held it in a forty five degree angle. It's shadow cast on the ground beneath them. Nosdyn held his ground unafraid of Aranor.

Aranor paused in front of Nosdyn. "You are either very brave, or very foolish not to be running from me right now."

Nosdyn looked at the strange Orc for a long moment. His hand gripped the shaft of his weapon tightly. He observed Aranor. "You're not attacking." Nosdyn stated bluntly. "You must want something else." He knew how men like Aranor operated.

Aranor nodded. "You're right I do want something." Aranor stated. "I'm here to make your woman suffer...."

Nosdyn shook his head. "You won't though we're prepared for you now."

Cerna
11-14-2021, 09:48 PM
Cerna took a battle stance as she pulled out her greatsword "I am no longer your servant, Aranor. Nor am I the weak undead you think i am. I have gained strength with help from my allies. I have gained new skills in their teachings. And they have stood by my side no matter what came my way. If you think that I still fear you, You're about as wrong as we are undead. So GO AHEAD! Hit me with your best shot! I will not falter" Cerna said confronting her foe

Nosdyn
11-15-2021, 04:51 AM
"Cerna..." Nosdyn began. But he hesitated. He was trying to figure Aranor out, he was a variable in a long list of variables. That was the part of it that didn't sit well with Nosdyn. Here in front of Nosdyn was an all but entirely unknown quantity. He narrowed his eyes for a moment. Keeping close to his wife he looked at Aranor the entire time. He looked at his companions a moment later. There was an unspoken bond between Nosdyn and his undead. Rules, orders, laws.

His mind was sharp and working quickly. He hesitated. On a field where there were too many variables...Nosdyn couldn't afford to make a mistake. There was too much at stake. He clutched his weapon closely to his person for a moment or two. He felt nervous as he observed Aranor and he spoke a short time later. "You are in over your head." He told Aranor, taunting the man carefully. He was trying to learn about how the other man operated, learn as much as he could. His eyes were narrowed as he studied Aranor.

Aranor looked at Nosdyn with a raised eyebrow. "You know why I am here Nosdyn." He looked at the demon lord with a neutral expression at that point. "Yet, you hesitate knowingly. Why?" Aranor asked.

"You misunderstand." Nosdyn began. "The position you're in Aranor." Nosdyn kept the man talking, kept messing with the man's head. "I hesitate only to keep my people and my city safe. You on the other hand have no idea what we are capable of..." He said quietly.

Cerna
11-15-2021, 10:37 AM
Cerna narrowed her eyes as she prepared her plan of attack on Aranor. She has had enough of his mind games and enough of his bullshit. She won't dare attack without her husband's command though

Nosdyn
11-16-2021, 07:50 AM
Aranor looked at Nosdyn carefully. "Why are you still hesitating?" The orc asked of Nosdyn.

Nosdyn carefully considered his response. He looked at his wife calmly, nodded and then looked at Aranor. "I have people under my charge, people to protect. You should understand, you were a King once yourself." Nosdyn said with some degree of admiration.

Aranor narrowed his eyes coldly. "Maybe once but that life has long since passed." Aranor said calmly. He looked at Cerna. "If you won't yet react I'll make this plain as day for you. I am here to kill you are but most important, I am here to make your woman suffer." He raised his hand and pointed it towards Cerna calmly.

Nosdyn still hesitated. He wanted to see the full effect of Crux's warding and the severing effect. He knew one thing from the encounter with Aranor. He owed Crux big time. He looked at his wife seeing the full effect of the warding. "Kill him." Nosdyn finally said...

Cerna
11-16-2021, 08:18 AM
Cerna nods and began to attack, rushing at Aranor with a tactical charge. She was calm. Calculating. She sweeps her weapon in a slashing motion that resembled a tidal wave about to hit the shore.

Nosdyn
11-16-2021, 05:35 PM
Nosdyn observes his wife's form and technique. She'd grown powerful in a short period of time. He waited as his wife attempted to take care of Aranor. Nosdyn kept his eyes locked on Aranor. Still, Nosdyn hesitated. He had to be absolutely certain that Crux's power had warded his wife.

He'd move once he was sure...

Aranor kept trying to focus his powers of pain and torment on Cerna. As he kept trying, he was realizing that his power no longer influenced her, and in fact, were fading out all together. "NO!" Aranor yelled in a cursed rage. "You can't have her!" Aranor yelled in his frustrations but it was too late, Cerna had begun her skilled attack.

Nosdyn already learned what he needed to learn and began to stalk towards Aranor's position...

Cerna
11-17-2021, 12:34 AM
Cerna attacked with certainty. She was a free Draenei now and she soon saw her mate stalking toward them. She grins and kept up her attack

Nosdyn
11-17-2021, 06:54 AM
Cerna scored a critical strike against Aranor. He took a step backwards, staggered. He clutched at the injury she gave him. His eyes narrowed as he spotted Nosdyn slowly on the move. For Aranor, Nosdyn was the big question mark with his dangerous weapon. He began to try to form a gate so he could flee the scene.....

Nosdyn clutched his weapon with both hands as he approached Aranor and Cerna. "You're trying to run are you not?" He accused Aranor. Nosdyn knew the type, he'd fought several people who were cowards and attempted to fight from a distance to hurt him. He considered his most recent battle for a moment and kept his face serious. A few moments later he was upon Aranor. He swung his weapon right at Aranor's mid section of his body...

Cerna
11-18-2021, 03:23 PM
Cerna followed up with a swift strike to Aranor's back which knocked him down. Two of Aranor's followers attack Cerna with bolts of dark energy to knock her out as they flee with their king in tow. He will not be an easy opponent to truly kill, But they at least left their mark on him

Nosdyn
11-19-2021, 09:51 AM
Nosdyn narrowed his eyes as he saw that occur. His initial assessment of Aranor was correct: That man is a coward. He knelt down before his wife and picked her up gently. His eyes holding a rage that was present there. He held her closely and walked to the healer temple of their city and took his wife there. "Heal her." Was his simple command as he placed her on an empty bed gently. He held her hand gently the entire time. He could not loose her and he stayed by her side the whole time. Lady Xelldra and the others began to heal her right away.

Nosdyn was lost in thought as he considered all he had learned....

Cerna
11-19-2021, 02:53 PM
Cerna laid unresponsive in the bed for some time. Her breath was shallow and labored. But she refused to go down this way. Not after all the pain and torment she had to struggle through to get this far. "Nosdyn....I'm Sorry....." She whispered softly as she tried to muster her strength. She did her best to make her apology loud enough for him to hear it. She failed to kill Aranor and this was in her eyes a failure

Nosdyn
11-19-2021, 06:53 PM
Nosdyn sat next to his wife as Lady Xelldra and the others healed his woman.

He had a stern expression on his face, he held her hand lovingly. She spoke at that point and he listened.

His eyes were narrowed to thin slits at that point and he considered what she had just said. He knew the outcome of the battle had affected his woman a lot. "It was not your fault." Nosdyn told his love. "The bastard had an escape plan we'll be ready for next time. I learned what I needed to learn though. We CAN hurt him." He promised his wife. "I'll have to thank Crux properly as soon as I am able to." He kissed his woman's forehead gently. "I'll stay with you here the entire time until y0u have fully recovered."

Cerna
11-19-2021, 07:05 PM
Cerna smiles lightly at him and relaxed feeling a little bit better about the ordeal. She held his hand gently and closed her eyes to rest

Nosdyn
11-19-2021, 08:08 PM
Later that night...

Once Lady Xelldra had healed his woman, he picked up Cerna and took her home, to their house. He placed his wife on their bed gently and took off his and her own clothing, laying in their bed with her gently.

He wrapped the bed sheets around the two of them, and held her closely to him.

His hands rested on her lower back gently as he held her. He kissed the top of her head gently and held her closely...

Cerna
11-19-2021, 08:13 PM
She smiles lightly as she rested. She was still somewhat recovering from her wounds so she wasn't quite up for sex tonight. She was happy enough laying beside her mate though

Nosdyn
11-20-2021, 06:15 AM
He kissed his woman's forehead gently.

"Worry not we did the best we could to defend our city..." Nosdyn began. "You're never a failure." He assure her once more.

Both his large hands massaged her lower back gently, easing the tension out of her. He held her as closely as he could. Though he was a serious individual most of the time, for his wife, he had a soft spot.

He held her as close as he could, comforting her. He would provide her anything she needed...

Cerna
11-20-2021, 09:09 AM
Cerna smiles lightly and leans into him, her tail wrapping around his leg as usual. She was recovering well and her mates words brought some reassurance to her. She kisses him gently

Nosdyn
11-20-2021, 09:41 AM
He moaned when her tail constricted around his muscular leg.

Holding her closely to his body, he continued to massage her lower back gently. When she wrapped her tail around his leg he felt himself growing exciting, but he'd never take he'd always ask her permission. He kissed her deeply and softly back as he massaged her gently.

He held her closely the whole time feeling himself grow stiff and hard.

He moaned with pleasure as he held his woman closely, his lovely wife.

His hand still massaging her ass gently...

Cerna
11-20-2021, 09:44 AM
She smiles softly and relaxes kissing him softly "you hunger tonight don't you?" She finally asked

Nosdyn
11-20-2021, 10:10 AM
He chuckled at that for a moment. "What kind of question is that? You should know I always hunger for you my wife." He smiled at her continuing to hold her against his powerful and warm body.

He noticed that her warm body was also eager and smiled. Massaging her gently.

His hunger knew no bounds, a by product of his powerful endurance.

He kissed her some more quite eagerly, but hesitated to take his woman. He knew she was recovering from their ordeal with Aranor and he would respect it until she felt ready to mate and breed...

Cerna
11-20-2021, 10:18 AM
Cerna relaxes and smiles placing a hand on his chest "you're hesitating. Are you all right Nosdyn?" Cerna asked with some concern

Nosdyn
11-20-2021, 10:38 AM
As that night went on, she asked the question.

His arms held her closely, needingly as closely as he could.

The question lingered for a moment or two between them. "I know you just got hurt my love. And are in recovery. I want you at full strength before we breed." He told her seriously.

He ached with hunger for her, but he could wait and be patient until she recovered fully her strength for proper breeding sessions.

He loved her and he would take care of her always...

Cerna
11-20-2021, 11:22 AM
Cerna smiles lovingly glad that he cares enough to wait until her strength returns to her. She purrs and relaxes resting her head on his chest

Nosdyn
11-20-2021, 11:59 AM
The old demon held his woman closely that night. He considered many matters as he held her.

He hungered....

But that was not something new the old soldier always hungered for his woman.

He had an almost uncanny appetite.

Holding her closely, he massaged her gently occasionally grabbing her lovely ass firmly.

As he held her close he realized how far he'd come.

Since that cave that night he met N'Jal and his destiny changed forever.

He sighed with peace and happiness for the first time in his life. He kissed the top of her head gently. "I love you."

He told her and meant that.

More than anything.

Cerna
11-20-2021, 12:11 PM
Cerna smiles and nuzzles him "I love you too"

Nosdyn
11-20-2021, 12:22 PM
The old demon was already planning the long parchment letter he would sent to Crux in Stonevale.

His eyes were narrowed late that night as he considered things he would write to Crux.

What he knew was that the warding and control severing of his wife had worked and her forced connection to Aranor was severed.

He knew that to be true at that point.

That night and ultimately that week, would be for them. He had no other arrangements to sort except for that letter.

Holding her as close as he could he continued to massage her with tender care.

Her body felt good against him and his erection throbbed and was hard against her he sighed with pleasure.

Through his connection with the undead, the old demon had learned patience patience and compassion.

Both of the ideas had served Nosdyn well. He smiled holding her closely...the whole time. He thought about the things he would do to his woman once she recovered fully...he had a grin on his face the entire time.

Cerna
11-20-2021, 01:11 PM
She smirks and placed herself on his erection to let him enter her. She knew he hungered and she felt up to sating that hunger now

Nosdyn
11-20-2021, 01:28 PM
Her action was a surprise, but a welcome one indeed. He gets comfortable as she placed him inside of her warm and hot tightness.

He grinned at her. "You hunger too, don't you my wife?" He asked of her.

His hands immediately going to that lovely ass and grabbing it.

He slowly grinded against her, taking good care of his woman, his arms placed her against his body closely so they were firmly on top of one another.

His hands greedily rub that lovely ass.

He felt her tail wrapped around his leg and he growled with pleasure....

Cerna
11-20-2021, 01:54 PM
Cerna purrs "of course I hunger love. Injured or not I'm still your mate. And I know you hunger too." She wraps her tail around her mate's leg and kisses him deeply

Nosdyn
11-20-2021, 02:55 PM
As they made love to one another he held her as close as he could.

Thoughts and memories pass through his mind. One of the thoughts was interesting enough of N'Jal and the night that Thayne was his lover as well. Those nights meant a lot to him whilst N'Jal was his ally. He sighed hours into their intense love making session...he held his woman closely to his warm and hot body he was growling with pleasur.e

His hands massaged her ass and lower back as he held her against his person. The thoughts of N'Jal bothered him a little bit but he moved through the temporary disturbance, he knew somewhere in space and time their enemy plotted against all of them...

Plotted her revenge...

He clung to his woman as the terrifying thought bothered him heavily. He had to whisper the name of the woman who disturbed him so...

"N'Jal..." His eyes were narrowed as he thought of their forgotten enenmy. "She stirs and moves against us now." He said to his woman and continued to make love to her. He felt nervous though he rarely thought of N'Jal like that, and he had carefully heeded the warning he'd recieved before that N'Jal stirred...

Cerna
11-20-2021, 02:58 PM
She nods at him "we shall be ready my love. She Will not harm you again" She reassured and nuzzled him

Nosdyn
11-20-2021, 05:17 PM
As they made love to one another, he held her closely. Massaging her lower back and ass...

She spoke to him in attempt to calm his nerves.

Nosdyn was afraid of nobody...except for N'Jal herself, she was the one being that truly terrified him.

He held his woman closely to him as they made love to one another.

At that point, more than ever...the letter to Crux would have become much more important to him.

"Tonight once you are asleep my love." He said to her. "I will write the letter to Crux." He explained calmly to her his hands massaging her. He continued to thrust his large erection deeply into his woman...needing her.

He always needed her.

Cerna
11-20-2021, 05:21 PM
She smiles lovingly "Nosdyn I don't sleep" She reminded gently. She had centuries of past ghosts haunting her so she would rest, but never truly sleep

Nosdyn
11-20-2021, 06:40 PM
He chuckled at that revelation...he'd forgotten in all the craziness that had been happening. He kissed her softly as they continued to make love to one another. "I had forgotten." He chuckled once more. "Sorry my love. You can watch as I write the letter to Crux." He told her softly. He would hide nothing from her.

His hand continued to massage the small of her back lovingly.

As he held her close he kissed her softly.

He enjoyed the feeling of her tight nether regions around his large and sensitive erection...

As he held her close to him, he released his seed deeply into her Undead womb many times that night.

He loved her.

Cerna
11-20-2021, 07:43 PM
Cerna nods and smiles softly "gladly my love" She said as she moaned in pleasure

Nosdyn
11-20-2021, 08:05 PM
That morning....

Nosdyn was at his desk with his wife by his side. He had an arm wrapped firmly around her as she was sitting atop his lap.

His hand rested firmly on her ass.

He was writing the letter he would send to Crux...

Perfect penmanship in the common tongue. No code or scripted words, he was being honest to his old friend as he continued to make love to his wife.

He wrote the letter in five long pages.

He smiled once he was done, and stayed with his wife on his lap, and his thick erection deeply inside of her. "The letter is finished my love." He told her and came hard inside of her again...

Cerna
11-20-2021, 08:28 PM
Cerna nods and kisses him lovingly "I can have my bat take it to him love. Fang had been begging me to take him to stonevale

Nosdyn
11-21-2021, 06:32 AM
Nosdyn kept his stiff erection deeply inside his woman, an arm wrapped firmly around her.

He nodded once she made the suggestion. "That works, I was going to use my own carrier birds for that. But yours is equally fine." He said to her as they continued to make love. His hunger was vast...

He kept his large hand firmly on her ass massaging it with hunger.

He placed his seal and stamp on the end of the five page letter he would send to Crux later that week.

It was a letter to thank his old friend.

With his erection firmly inside of her, he held his woman closely.

Kissing her deeply and lovingly, his other hand playing with her hair...

He kissed her lovingly as they made love for hours that night....

Cerna
11-21-2021, 09:03 AM
Cerna kisses him deeply and moans softly. She purrs as they made love. She was moving slowly as she was still minding her wounds, but She was glad to be with her man once more

Nosdyn
11-21-2021, 09:47 AM
Later that week...

After their heavy duty love making session, Nosdyn seals the letter parchment he was going to send Crux with the "K" stylized symbol for the Krotar house...HIS house.

He watched as his wife, Cerna sent the letter to Stonevale with her own messenger bird network.

His arms were folded across his chest as he watched calmly.

Fang stretched his wings and they were quite large. He flew off towards Stonevale.

He looked at his wife, Cerna for a moment after the deed was done. They had enemies on two fronts now, that coward Aranor and their ancient enemy N'Jal.

Nosdyn would be prepared for both and all enemies...

He kissed his wife deeply as the bat flew off to Stonevale and his destination...

~The End~

Cerna
11-21-2021, 10:06 AM
Cerna Smiles at Nosdyn and purrs. She stood at her mate's side Now having fully recovered from her wounds. Aranor got in a cheap shot on her. She would not Allow it to occur again. She was gonna be ready for whatever came their way.

She lifted her arm up to Send Fang to Stonevale with the message in his mouth. "Fang is a loyal bat. He'll get the message to where it's going." She smiles at him
She walked to her mate and kissed him deeply.

~The End

Preston
12-09-2021, 10:28 AM
~Act 2: Theselak Forged…~

If either of you would like to have any further critique please reach out to me and I would be happy to help. I am also open to discussion if you would like to discuss the feedback. Otherwise, it was a pleasure to read this thread and give the following judgement.

Strengths
Nos, you did well working on describing some of your background. I wish you had expanded on it more as if the reader didn’t know anything so you could explain. However, it was good to get some of it from the history with N’Jal and establishing the city as well.
At times there were some posts with Cerna that had a good touch of character and story interaction. I would love to see you continue to develop that over time, putting in a bit of characterization with your posts and developing the story!
Nos you did a good job of continuing the story with content based posts that continued the flow.
Cerna, Post #54 was very good. It had the proper sentence structure. The sharp way it was written lended to the action of the scene. It also had a pretty good metaphor attached to the attack. That is very good!


Weakness
Prose: There are a lot of grammatical things throughout the thread on both sides. Simple things like punctuation, capitalization and word usage are absent in a majority of the posts. The more advanced like tense agreement (using present instead of past, or vice versa) is also prevalent.
Story: I honestly did not get a lot for the background to understand what was happening regarding NPC’s. I get that Nos has a city he founded, but beyond that the other NPC’s in this didn’t give me much to learn about them. And I wasn’t sure on the purpose of the thread as a whole to start. Additionally, the dialogue was flat between both and didn’t show much character.
Timeline: In post 37 you are suddenly a month later, I’m not sure why but also not sure why this didn’t start a new thread potentially? Or what happened…
The battle with the demon lord of Xaliel lasted less posts than just the general love making of your two characters. I’m not entirely sure why Nos either doesn’t just rule all of Tular Plains if that is a demon lord, or why he is very much overpowered in comparison.



Stars: ***

Overall, with the star system I would give this thread a 3/10

Rewards

Nos - 1300 exp | 100 gold

Cerna - 480 exp | 100 gold

Preston
12-09-2021, 10:33 AM
Exp and Gp added!

Congrats to you both! Nos is now level 9 and Cerna is now level 3!