The Warriors of Trinity

[Verisyl]

(Note: This is to get my character's foot in the door. All three will be in Use, But it is open to anyone else willing to Jump in.)


Verisyl was walking with her Hooves tapping the stones that paved the pathways of Stonevale. She was new to Althanas and seeking to get her hoof in the door as far as getting her bearings. First thing's first though, she's gonna have to figure out where a good place to Mine is. Maybe the wayward Warrior can find someone from her world that has walked this path before and can tell her some a little about this place. She came to an old tavern where she sure enough encountered a fellow Draenei!

[Cerna]

Cerna looked at the Draenei that entered. Her face softened as she saw she was not the only one from her world to end up here. She looks toward her and lowered her hood as she stood to approach the other. "Welcome to Stonevale, Fellow Draenei. What may i assist you with?" She asked kindly. She used to be Stone Cold, but having found a Mate that freed her from her mental Shackles assisted her greatly with her attitude as well as gave her a new hope for her future.

[Verisyl]

Verisyl looked at the Draenei and nods in respect to her kin "Greetings. I'm actually a Warrior with Mining as a Side Hobby and I'd like to know where to start Mining. I'm quite new here and have no idea what world we are on. This isn't Azaroth anymore that's for dang sure"

[Cerna]

Cerna thought about what the Draenei Warrior was saying to her. She nodded knowing she had once been in this situation herself as she closed out her bar tab "Come with me then. I know someone that arrived here recently that may be able to answer your Question." Cerna said as she walked out of the tavern and led the other Draenei to the Plaza where she knew a good friend of hers would be waiting. "Lilith, Oi! Got a newbie here that needs direction to a Mining spot! Didn't you just go on a Mining trip recently?"

[Lilithios]

"Lilithinos looked towards the two incoming Draenei with a smile "Cerna you really don't need to be so Loud. I'm right here you know" The demonic Blood Elf stated musingly to the wiser Draenei. "But yes I will gladly assist this newcomer in your stead. I'm sure you'd like to return to Nosdyn in the Tular Plains correct?" Lilithinos smirked widely

[Cerna]

Cerna laughs at her friend's comment "Must you bring Nosdyn up every time I bring you a newcomer to assist? It almost sounds like you're trying to herd me off! She laughed once more "Besides, Pavel will be fine for a time without me. I'm actually up for a quest right now Anyway." Cerna said with a flick of her long, ornate tail adorned in jewelry.

[Verisyl]

Verisyl couldn't help but tilt her head at the interaction "Is this a common thing between you two?" She asked

[Cerna]

Cerna laughs once more "I can say this much, My fellow Draenei. There is never a dull moment between Lilith and I. We're constantly joking with each Other on a regular basis" Cerna said as she took a look at her newfound Friend's gear "Iron Gear and a Wooden Sword eh? I can see why you'd want to go on a Mining Trip or two. We need to get you geared up as soon as we possibly Can. So I propose we form a Core Group with us three for now to assist each other in our growth. And ultimately our survival in this Unknown Land we've stumbled into. This isn't Azaroth anymore my friends."

[Lilithios]

"Cerna's right. We need allies here. Without Allies you're basically a dead woman walking in some of the Harsher environments. But before we start coming together and forming a group, We really should introduce ourselves to those that don't know one another" Lilith proposed.

[Cerna]

Cerna nodded in agreement "My full name is Cerna Rose Bloodwing. In Azaroth i was known as a Death Knight. Lilith is a Demonic Blood elf if it wasn't obvious with her broad wings, and the fact I've known her since her arrival here. But what about you, Warrior?

[Verisyl]

"My name is Verisyl, But you both can call me Veri." Verisyl said as she looked at her two new companions. She was glad to know she won't be alone in this new land she must now call home. Especially since it isn't likely that she can return to Azaroth.

[Lilithios]

"Lilithinos, But You may call me Lilith" She said kindly. "So tell me Veri, Did you merely arrive here this morning? What's your story?"
Lilith asked her in Curiosity. She wanted to have an idea on how so many from their world could possibly be turning up here so quickly. She looked at Verisyl with growing interest in her tale. And she was sure she had a good one to tell.

[Verisyl]

Verisyl Nods "Well where do i begin? I was on our crashed ship in the vale we landed in doing repairs on it and then there was this big black rift opening up above us. Many of us fled the scene and i was among the Draenei trying to run. Needless to say because i was recently out of stasis, I was a slower runner then the rest of my kind and I got caught up in the rift. Next thing i knew i had woken up just outside this town"

[Cerna]

"A black Rift you say?" Cerna asked curiously "Like a Black hole?" That seemed to be a common way they came. It was how Lilithinos arrived, It was sort of how Cerna arrived more or less, And now it was how Verisyl arrived. This was a very peculiar event and it left Cerna wondering if Maybe there was a purpose for these events bringing the trio together. "It would seem the winds of Fate brought us three together for a reason. What do you say we stick together and discover what that reason Is." Cerna suggested

[Lilithios]

Lilith Nods "I agree with Cerna. There's safety in Numbers and we're more likely to survive this world if we stay in a group"

[Verisyl]

"Groups typically have names right?" Verisyl said "How about we come up with a name for the group if we're gonna be a group?" She was going off what she knew from her homeland. Where she's from, Groups were typically called Guilds. She wondered how different it was here but the thought excited her

[Cerna]

Cerna nods "I'm in agreement. We should come up with a good name so others will know who we are in the long haul. How about the Warriors of Trinity?" She suggested "There's three of us so far and we each have something different we can contribute"

[Verisyl]

She thought over the name that Cerna suggested. "Warriors of Trinity sounds fitting for the three of us. A Death Knight, A Demon Hunter and a Standard Warrior. Should be Fun" She grins

[Lilithios]

"Sounds to me like things are settled. From now on, We shall be known as the Warriors of Trinity. From now on We adventure together. Now for the first matter of Business. Finding out where we shall build a base of operations" Lilith pointed out.


~End

[Cerna]

Cerna nodded and smiles under her cloak "Yes Lilith. Let's go find a suitable Location to build our base"


~End

[Verisyl]

Verisyl nods and follows the other two offworlders. She was starting to feel like this was gonna be the start of an amazing adventure and Veri was never one to shy away from an adventure even back home. She secured her shield and sword to her back and took off as a brisk run to follow her two newfound friends. Adventure awaited her in the world of Althanas!

~End

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Judgment


Hello again Ashe!

As requested, here is your basic judgment. This thread is 20 posts long, and in the vein of your style the writing itself is more akin to a quick "burst post" RP. There were motes of character development, which is progress, and I think you would really benefit by writing and RP'ing with other writers on the site. This will definitely allow you to keep your style while adding to the content of your posts.


Pros


Again, another thread completed!

There were hints of character development between the trio of demons. No thread is ever hurt by even just a little bit of character progress, so keep this up.

On some of your posts, you've improved the content. A paragraph, at least, gives the reviewer something to work with, so keep doing this.



Cons


Aside from the three meeting and agreeing to journey together, plot and overall detail was too thin on the ground. These are early days, but I imagine you'll get better the more you expand out and write with other people.

Some posts were merely a sentence long. This is NOWHERE near enough to be able to give the reviewer a sense of the story you are trying to tell, or picture the scene you are in.

Be mindful of cliches. As I said before, it's early days in your career here so there is plenty of time to iron out the easy stuff.



Final Score: ***

Rewards (Inclusive of Stonevale x1.5 EXP bonus):

Verisyl receives 481 EXP and 48 GP!
Cerna receives 486 EXP and 48 GP!
Lilithios receives 241 EXP and 24 GP!

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

All rewards added!