((Please note that all bunnying as been approved for this story.))
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((Please note that all bunnying as been approved for this story.))
Judgment: Elite Optic
Congratulations on getting to the Final’s of the 2021-2022 Adventurers Crown! I am excited to read your submission and compare it with your peers in this solo based round. If you have any questions, concerns, or would like to reach out to me please feel free to do so!
Plot - 24The story section of the thread was well executed, but had a few small parts here and there that made me re-read to understand what was happening. Overall the writing flowed well, even with the intentional cut-scenes interspersed. There was a bit of a lack of setting to really create a full picture, but it was still enough to build on.
Character - 21The overall characters were well written. I thoroughly enjoyed the interaction and connection between Sorian and Elite, and felt that Sorian was the main portion of the character. There was a lot of dialogue in this, and at times going back and forth quickly where I had to go back and figure out who was speaking. I think that just interjecting a few “he said” type endings to dialogue when it’s that heavy, or some piece of narrative, would have made it clearer.
Prose - 20Mechanically, there were a number of small errors. The writing style, flow, and readability of the thread were pretty well done but could have been smoother at times. Well written with mi
Wild Card - 10
Score: 75
Rewards
2500 exp | 1250 gold
Exp and GP Added!
Congrats on Level 5!
The rewards granted for your completion are as follows. Please feel free to rename as needed, but if you would like to change the properties please allow me to review:
What Remains of the Helm of the First King: While the full helmet was destroyed by Elite, a piece of it is now hanging from his skull rack. The full power of the item no longer exists. However, what remains has the power to allow the user to communicate with the recently deceased.