Skaeth, unknown. -open-

The blistering heat licked at my cheeks, I could feel the constriction of anxiety tighten the breath in my breast. Two years, it had been two entire years that I had sentenced myself to solitary confinement. The loneliness had gripped me so tightly that at one point in time I thought I would have surely gone mad. The whisper of the trees are the only things that seem to speak to me now. Here I sat upon me knees at the same pile of dirt that blanketed my familiar, my companion, my Nymeria. The darkness stirred inside me as it had all those many days ago, it ripped and tore at my insides, begging to be released. An animalistic cry parted my lips, the sadness clawing its way up my throat squeezing the air from my lungs.

Through my tear blurred vision I stood, knees wobbling under my own weight. I wasn't sure how long I had been in that same position, maybe a few hours or even days. Someone cleared their throat behind me, turning I looked towards the person disturbing my grieving. A timid girl stared back at me, I couldn't seem to remember her name. She came from time to time having stumbled upon my cabin as I wept holding my slain dire wolf.

"Miss McKinley..." Her voice was soft, the freckles that were peppered across her face shown in the sun light. "Did you have another one of your episodes?" Quickly her gaze danced to the gaping holes between the trees of the forest that surrounded my cabin.

Episodes, I forgot that is what the natives were calling my outburst these days. I thought bitterly to myself before shrugging.

"I am a skaeth, a being born from the depths of the darkness," I mumbled my same answer as I always did.

"The town folk are talking, they say they hear uncontrollable weeping and cries of pain before the sound of destruction echos through the forest... It's okay miss McKinley, you can tell me- I am Brielle remember, my brother and I helped you." She held out her hand as she always did as if holding it would make all my pain disappear. "I came to check on you because well- the people are scared of you, your abilities are unstable."

"You should go," I muttered.

"I am still looking to find you help, someone must know something... You shouldn't always have to be alone..." She said softly

I turned my back from and listened to her leave, the back of my hand ran across my cheeks. I hadn't realized that I had started to cry at some point in the brief conversation. Making my way to the cabin I shook my head. They are scared of you. Her words dug a sharp pain into my chest, twisting it. "I am afraid of myself," I whispered.

I moved to the desk that was riddled with papers, books and scrolls each only mentioning briefly on skaeths, the origin of my people and some of the known abilities. Much as I had done before I reread the paragraph that mention my cursed ability called

Transfiguration.
Special Skaeths are able to morph into a form of pure energy, a black ball. They doesn’t hold any human resemblance in this form. They are not tissue, joints, bones or organs they are just a black abyss of energy. The ball is about the size of a large horse. In this state they are able to be harmed by magic or another blast of energy. In layman's terms this means that any weapon that harnesses magic is able to harm them, not only in this form but their regular human form as well. So for example but not limited to, they is able to be taken down by a spear that is the vessel of magic, a shield that has magic coursing through it.
When the rare Skaeths are in their transfiguration form they are able to destroy things. They are able to break through flesh and bone, stone buildings. As the Skaeth is energy in its purest form they are able to be stopped by other things such as more energy or magic. This power takes a lot out of them so once their energy is spent it renders them mostly unconscious.

I stared at the pages until the words seemed to be burned into my mind. Anger burned deep in my belly as I slammed my fist down against the table. I was alone, I had entirely no one that could save me from myself or this curse that was now my life. Nymeria, Joshua, Stare and Avin, they had all but been gone from my life, some taken some disappearing and never to be heard or seen from. I could feel the sting of emotions in my nose as I cleared my throat. "Time for a drink," I made my way towards the all but empty cupboards that held mostly ale or summer brandy.

I am still looking to find you help, someone must know something... You shouldn't always have to be alone... Brielle's words held such hope that they haunted me as I took my first drink.

((Follows the events of Hanging Softly Upon the Cheek of Night))

The return journey from the Realm of the Thaynes happened faster than I could blink. One moment I stood on a lush mauve carpet of grass and moss, listening to the musical sound of the wind trawling the treetops. The next my sandalled feet scraped on the harsh stone floor of the tunnel beneath the Shiriyama mountains. The verdant sunlight vanished, replaced by the near total darkness of the cavern.

I breathed deeply of the dank air, grounding myself back in mortal reality.

“Gingitsu,” I called for the trickster kitsune, the silver-furred scoundrel with nine tails who had taken my boots as the price of guiding me to Phantaria.

Only the echo of my own voice responded. I did not bother to repeat myself. The Lore Guardian was responsible for the portal between the Realm of the Thaynes and the mortal world. He would know I had used it; he was choosing not to show himself.

With measured strides I moved out of the long tunnel, trailing a callused hand along the rough-hewn wall to assist my low light vision.

“Adachi-san?” I called as I neared the tunnel’s entrance. I did not want the sacred crystal cavern’s protector to try cutting me in half again. This time there was no response at all. My low voice went out the opening and vanished into the night.

“Hinata?” I spoke the nekojin’s first name as I rounded the corner, sandals slapping the ground lightly. Only a light breeze greeted me.

I breathed out. Where could the samurai have gone? It had taken the full weight of my reputation to get past him in the first place. Nothing could have forced him to leave his post. And judging by the depth of the darkness outside, only a few hours had passed since I entered Phantaria.

I breathed in, and nearly retched. The wind coming into the tunnel smelled wrong. Rather than pure mountain air, the scent of too much death invaded my nostrils.

McKinely.

My mortal lover was the first thought to cross my mind. I had left her in a little cabin not far from Ninyama, the village surrounding the crystal caverns.

Forgetting Gingitsu, Hinata, and my boots, I raced out into the night. The rancid wind whipped through my black shirt and pants, and soot sprayed from beneath my sandals.

The village lay in ruins. Each building looked as if it had been bombarded by onager stones in a siege. I ran past burned out homes, overturned handcarts, and crumbling masonry. I ran until the mountain wind cut me like a knife, and didn’t stop until the flapping sandals carried me to the little cabin.

Its ceiling was caved in, its wall marred by black. As the growing sense of dread threatened to consume me, I forced myself to look inside. McKinely was nowhere to be seen.

I had drank an entire bottle of summer brandy, drowning my sorrows and misery with the harsh, sweet bitter taste of the alcohol. My head spun with many theories that tended to take of my time, and wall space as I had written most down, pasting them all over for me to stare at. Rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand I grunted unladylike as I pushed myself up from my desk. All the blood seemed to rush to my head, as my vision blurred and center of gravity started to tilt. "Great," I mumbled to myself as I tried to shake it off, stumbling before falling over into a pile of books. The impact seemed to stun me for a good minute as I laid there, the air knocked out from my lungs. Blinking I laid there, looking up at the ceiling of my cottage, the thought of just laying here for the rest of the day crossing my mind.

Slowly and sorely I sat up, wincing at the new dull ache that came from my back side. I rubbed my skull that had taken a hit when I tumbled to the ground. "Pull yourself together, McKinley." I scowled myself, as I stood up, my knees wobbled under my own weight though there wasn't much to me anymore. Moving cautiously, knowing there would be some bruising in a few places, I made my way towards the bathroom. Stripping off the clothing, letting them fall around down into a pool of fabric around my feet before turning on the water. It didn't seem to take long for the steam to fill up the small room as I stepped in.

The water beat down on my frail body, I knew I looked sickly which seemed to add to the town folks paranoia that I was indeed the devil reincarnated or at least his daughter. Everything seemed to fall in shambles after Joshua had disappeared, my entire life crumbling around me. This cursed ability seeming to consume as a whole being, the darkness and destruction that came with it. Lost in my thoughts I hadn't realized that the water had started to run cold, quickly I washed myself and hair before stepping out. A towel wrapped around me before I walked to my room, passing Nymeria's goose feathered bed. A sharp pain in my chest made me suck in a breath. I couldn't find the strength to toss it out and burn it like I had the things that were from my old life.

Drying off, I tossed an over sized shirt on, though all my clothes seemed to hang on me like a burlap sack. I crawled into bed, the motivation that had filled me after I told Brielle to leave, left me just as quickly. Curling up in a small ball on top of my covers, I knew that even as slumber crept in to claim me, I would not get a restful sleep. I would dream of the same night that seemed to haunt me as it always did, the night my transfiguration ability came to light, the night the townies struck back with revenge. It was the night that left me crippled to this day, they tore apart my cottage and took the blood that was owed to them by killed Nymeria, my dire wolf that had tried to protect me. With tears in my eyes, I let the harsh reality of my life fall to the wayside before I lost myself in the darkness of sleep.

I was running, always running. My eyes stung not only from the tears that I had cried and continued to cry but also from the smoke. My lungs and legs begged for some relief. I could hear Nymeria panting next to me, she jogged next to me as I stumbled through the forest to get home. I had blacked out after a bandit had tried to mug me for my weekly supplies I had gotten from town. When I woke up, it had looked like a bomb had went off and the villagers shouted out calling me a monster, the spawn of hellfire. Confused and dazed I ran and ran fast towards the safe haven that was my cottage, a place where I had lived most of my free life. They followed in pursuit, some carrying torches others weapons and rope, truly they were like an irate mob that you would read about in books.

Breaking into the clearing of my home, my safety with Nym at my side. I was so close until something hit me in my back, stunning me and striking me to the ground. I could feel the fresh tears spring to life as I felt the panic set in. A large sea of people gathering around me, my large dire wolf snapping at the hands that pulled at me. Some striking her with weapons and axes drawing blood, the wolf let out a howl of pain. My screams echoed into the forest, to no reprieve they tied me and went after my companion, chanting an eye for an eye. My sweet Nymeria's calico coat saturated with her own blood, it riddled the ground beneath their feet as they moved their anger towards my cottage but not before a few struck harsh blows to my small body. The pain consuming me and causing me to pass out, however long later I woke to my cottage ransacked and Nym dead next to me.

I shot up in bed, my screams bouncing off the stone walls, warm tears spilling down my cheeks as my chest heaved up and down. The dream always as painful as the night I had lived it. Since that night the towns folk did not come into my forest and I not left the clearing of my cottage, for two entire years.

Questions bombarded my mind as my sandals thrashed the mountainside, gravity pulling me downward at a headlong run. Where could McKinley have gone? Who could have taken her in such a way, and why had they destroyed Ninyama village? The ground looked cracked and ruined, blackened in places by mysterious scorch marks.

Something felt rotten on the island of Corone. I could not determine what… but something kept nagging at the back of my mind. Something about the dustiness of the brutish, nigh unfamiliar landscape…

I ran faster than a horse can gallop for over an hour, until sweat flecked my skin and the familiar winding road that connected Akashima to the southern city of Gisela came into sight. I needed not travel all the way south; McKinley’s cottage stood in a forest clearing less than halfway to the legendary city.

My pace slowed as I made my way along the road, but my mind continued to race. What had transpired in the hours of my departure to another realm? Day broke, hot and dry with the crimson of a sailor’s warning peaking over the horizon.

I rounded a bend in the road formed around a sheer cliff face. The bandits attacked like a pair of wild dogs.

They came up over the embankment at the side of the road, snarling wordlessly and brandishing their daggers like bared fangs. They had less than six steps to take before they’d be close enough to stab me.

I lifted a knee and then flicked my foot forward, a strangely dainty action for such a muscular man. My sandal flew off with the precision of a dart fired from an Aleraran steamgun and struck the man on the right in his bearded face. It was barely a moment’s distraction, but it made him turn his head which slowed and staggered his steps.

By the time he turned back I’d hopped to my other foot, pivoting smoothly and planting my bare heel in the second man’s throat as my second sandal fell off as well.

The bandit died before he hit the ground, not even given time to gurgle. My kicks struck with the power of pistons, and my bones were harder than dwarf-forged steel. The blow had nearly disconnected his head from his body.

The man my sandal had slapped stopped short, staring down at his partner, mouth agape at the immaculate precision of my kick.

I dropped my shoulder and looped an uppercut toward his jaw. It was a love tap - the type of punch I’d throw at one of my more advanced students in sparring. It was slow, and indirect. It didn’t matter. My fist collided with his jaw, and he fell in an unconscious heap atop his comrade’s corpse.

My heart galloped like a war horse in my chest, the pain of anxiety almost crippling. Had I already not been laying in the fetal position I would have curled into a ball. The whole in my chest set a blaze at the fresh feeling of loss for my sweet Nymeria. Her life was taken because of me, a skaeth, a being of pure darkness. My dire wolf had fought to her bitter end to protect me, something that had been gifted to me so many years ago and now I was here, alone and suffering because of how selfless she had been. I could feel the sting of emotions in my nose, the burning sensation that erupted from my tear ducks. With all the tears I had shed I could have easily drown myself in them, that or the emptiness that I felt since being alone. A shaky breath parted my lips as I tried to pull myself together again, but once I fell over the edge of self loathing it was nearly impossible for me to return.

The hatred and disgust I felt for myself was something that could have been considered self destruction in a way. I didn't deserve to live, to breath while others had suffered at my hand, at my negligence to know what exactly I was and how to control it. The dark thoughts to end it all and just drink myself to death or ask the girl that comes to check on me once in a while to bring me the things for a sleeping tonic, to make it extra strong and float into the darkness of oblivion.

"My Goddess, Kinley. Pull yourself together you miserable retch." I said bitterly to myself.

Though ending my life was tempting I owed it to Nym to live, live for what I was unsure but she had given her life for me to live. I pushed myself into the sitting position, pulling my knees tightly to my chest, I wrapped my arms around my legs. If anyone could see me know I probably looked like a small, half starved child. My hair still pretty damp from the shower, it fell around my face like a mess, the mess that I was. The pain that I felt constantly inside seemed to be eating its way at me, from the inside out. I felt like a hollow shell of a person. Things that once held so much meaning to me now seemed to be just a constant reminder of who I wasn't anymore.

A musician that no longer played an instrument, not that I could because the day they had ransacked my cottage they destroyed my music room. An artist that no longer found beauty in the darkness of somber feelings. A girl that used to have such an innocent look on life on herself now bitter and cold. I was a completely different person and rightly so in many aspects. My world had crashed around me and instead of rising above the defeat of it all I had sunk into a deep, dark depression that seemed to eat me from the inside out.

"May the Gods have mercy on my soul when this life of mine does end," I whispered softly.

I slipped my feet back into my sandals - they had belonged to Gingitsu, but they were mine until the thieving fox returned my boots - and then grasped the bandits each by their belt and dragged them into the ditch beside the road.

The living one was roused by pebbles scraping his skull and dry reeds poking up through his dusty clothing. He kept his eyes down at first, surely expecting a swift fate, but I merely waited and watched. I watched while he realized the comrade laying beside him was dead, watched as his eyes found my feet and slowly climbed up to my face.

“What?” he gasped, “how can it be you? You’re dead!”

I frowned and shook my head. “You’re mistaken. Only you and your friend shall pass today. The swiftness of your demise depends on the information you share with me now.”

“What?” he asked again, the confusion in his eyes outweighing the fear. “You missed everything. You abandoned us when we needed you most, Breaker.”

The way he said my name gave me pause. There was some reverence in the title. I look closer at the disheveled bandit and realized that beneath the grimy beard he was one of the many men who served under me in the Faith United. I could not recall his name, for he was one of hundreds of soldiers under my command… but I had seen him in the training yard, and on parade, more than once.

But… the last time I’d seen him had been no more than a month prior. How had he fallen so far in so little time?

“So, you blame me for your decisions?” I scoffed, “that is any coward’s path.”

“I blame you,” he growled, “and I blame the the great quakes that shook the earth, the fire that came from the sky, and the storms that brought the sea above land. Where were you for all of it, Breaker? I tried to help… I was one of the last that stayed on. But when the Faithful disbanded--”

I seized him by the collar of his coat and lifted him forcefully out of the ditch, until our eyes were looking level at one another. His feet barely grazed the ground. Blood pounded in my ears as I squeezed my fist tighter, cinching the fabric of the garment like a noose around his neck.

“Do not lie to me,” I growled, “the Faithful would not disband because of some trivial disaster. And you clearly left their ranks long ago. Speak the real truth now, or die.”

His eyes glinted in defiance, but his mouth stayed shut. I gave his body a one-handed shake, like a housewife flicking dirt from a rag. His neck snapped audibly from the sudden motion, and I dropped him next to the other bandit.

I leaped out of the ditch and raced down the road, my determination to reach Kinley’s cottage renewed. I did not expect to find her there… but it was the only place I could think to begin looking. Perhaps her dire wolf, Nymeria, would be able to offer some clue or direction.

I couldn't force myself to leave my bedroom, all things back in their rightful place still the two years of season had not been kind to my cottage. Partially it was my fault after my first episode after having some how destroyed an entire town causing two people to loose their lives, when they practically demolished the outside and inside of my home I didn't fix much. They had torn books from shelves, they had ripped doors from their hinges and broke windows and all my instruments. I tidied up if that's what you call it, fixing only the broken windows, boarding up the ones I didn't replace and picking up the mess. After that night I left the rest exactly how it was, the vines outside pretty much overtaking the exterior of the cottage. Inside it was always dark, barely ever lit unless by a candle or lantern. I had let my cottage reflect an image of how I felt on the inside for people to see. The crazed women with muddy red hair that morphed into a ball of black destruction.

I laid back in my bed and allowed myself to remember the happy times, the love making that I had shared with a demi god in this bed, how Nymeria used to pounce on our tangled bodies in the morning to wake us up. The times that I would play beautiful music for my lover that I had at one point considered the closest thing to my soulmate. It was all shattered when Joshua had left and had not return, leaving not a letter or message in his absurd absence. Many rumored that he had died or ran off with a goddess having left his mortal lover to parish in her grief. "Oh how right they were," I whispered bitterly to myself.

I rolled over to my side, clutching my pillow tightly to my chest. The anxiety starting to creep its way back in, slowly and excruciatingly tightening my chest. I tried to breath but my chest felt constricted, the weight of a grown man sitting upon my breasts. "Breath... In and out..." I whispered over and over again as if I was trying to convince myself that it would work.

The feeling of trepidation was entirely overwhelming. Even my stupid chant couldn't soothe me, not that it often did. I closed my eyes, willing myself to become unconscious. There were only a few times that I wished I could sleep and these were one of those few and far between times. I didn't sleep because when I did I dreamed of people and things in my past that no longer existed. "Please, please..." I whispered desperately, feeling the tears welling behind my closed lids.

I knew I was exhausted in more ways then one and that sleep would indeed find me eventually. I didn't sleep often but when I allowed myself to I probably almost looked dead to anyone. I knew that my complexion was extremely pale, I had lost a bunch of weight that made me look silky and there were almost permanent bags under my once bright gaze. Clutching the pillow tighter to my chest, I tried to clear my mind, which always seemed to race with thoughts. Breathe in, breathe out... one, two three and repeat...

Drifting to sleep, I prayed silently that I would no longer dream but just float into the darkness of oblivion. My chest rose and fell shallowly, and I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper into sleep. "Sleep," I mumbled before finally falling completely into a dreamless sleep.

The road forked inland toward my mortal lover’s cottage, and I slowed as the path became more familiar. Familiar, and yet unfamiliar still. The landscape was scarred, and many trees seem to have died. A dreadful discomfort rose in my stomach like bubbling bile, and my suspicions were only confirmed when I happened across a young woman walking hurriedly in the opposite direction.

“Where are you bound, sir?” she surprised me by speaking first as I approached.

“The cottage of McKinley Parish,” I said, “do you know her?”

The woman shook her head sadly. “I only know of her, these days. A force of unnatural destruction resides where that poor woman once lived.”

She tried to walk past me but I stepped in front of her, frowning. “What do you mean? Is she there, or isn’t she?”

“That’s not for me to say-” the woman’s eyes flitted over the cut of my sifan clothing, pausing with curiosity on the thonged Akashiman sandals. “My lord. All I know is that I’m the only one fool enough to go there anymore. Good day.”

She gave a neat half-curtsy and then skirted around me and trudged away, still wearing that same sad expression on her face. I watched her go for a long moment and then resumed my quick march towards the cottage.

The meadow surrounding the little structure looked as disheveled as the rest of the countryside, but Kinley’s cottage was blessedly intact. With little idea of what I might find within, I moved to the front door and inhaled deeply through my nose.

I smelled fear, chaos, and above all… sorrow. I could sense a force of great power from within… that couldn’t be Kinley, could it? But if it wasn’t… it might belong to someone who knew her whereabouts.

I tugged the door open and strode in to the familiar home where so man happy memories lived. The ghosts of myself and Kinley sat at the kitchen table, laughing over eggs and toast and tossing bits of bacon to Nymeria. I shook my head to clear the visions and moved deeper into the little house.

“Who’s here?” I demanded of the presence I could still sense, “and what are you doing in McKinley Parish’s home?”

The sleep that I slept was like one of a corpse. I didn't see, hear or feeling anything but blackness all around me. It was peaceful and if this is what death was to be like I welcomed it, ten folds over. The sound of the front door swinging open brought me back to consciousness. The sound of the rustling papers and pages scattered throughout my living area, sounded like an alarm. I thought for a moment, maybe this was the Gods being cruel, playing such a trick on me when I finally was sleeping without nightmares. The sound of heavy footsteps made me peel my lids open but not against protest. Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I still half way believed this to be a joke, a figment of my imagination as noone was foolish enough to barge into my home after having laid waste to half the city. Not on purpose... I thought bitterly to myself before I slowly pushed up into a sitting position.

My eyes adjusting to the darkness as I had fallen asleep cradling a pillow and forgotten to light a candle or lantern. I froze as a voice rang out, the pain of familiarity freezing every fiber of my being besides my heart that pounded wildly in my chest. "It can't be..." I whispered to myself.

The many of times I had dreamed that he would have just strolled into my cottage and hold me, telling me all was a bad dream. That he hadn't left me stranded, Nymeria was not slain for my wrong doings and I was not this monstrous thing that destroyed everything around me. He called out demanding to know who resided in my home, yet he didn't seem to care enough to come back to me after leaving me with not a single answer, a goodbye or closure.

Slowly I pushed myself to the edge of my bed, my wild locks falling in my face as I stood up slowly. I felt light headed, but I wasn't sure if that was due to the fact that I hadn't eaten a solid meal in weeks or because the man that I love- loved was demanding to know who was here after two years of being gone himself. Licking my lips I tried to breathe, calming myself as best as I could. Walking to the door way that no longer had a door thanks to the townies, I rounded it slowly.

My gaze stayed glued to the floor as my arms wrapped around my frail frame. "This is my cottage, so I should ask who dare enter it with out permission..." My voice shook and I wanted to slap myself for how weak I felt for wanting nothing more then to run into his arms and weep uncontrollably. Mentally shaking myself I forced my gaze upward to stare at the man that had claimed to love me but had vanished from my life without a trace.

My body had been a coiled spring, poised for action as the ball of magical potential rounded the corner and came into sight. I was expecting a mage or witch or specter of some sort… instead I saw McKinley Parish, my mortal lover.

The woman had always been slender, but now she looked skinny, starved of both nutrition and sleep judging by the dark circles beneath her eyes. Her hair was wet as though she’d recently bathed, and the shirt she wore hung across her shoulders like a bent tree branch. My mouth opened, but at first no words came out.

Kinley could not have changed so much in a single night… her body showed a year of neglect and abuse… perhaps two. And… the same was true of the land. There was no way that so much wreckage had rained down on all of Corone in the space of a few hours.

“Kinley…” I took a half-step forward and she flinched away. Everything I had seen and heard since returning to the realm of mortals came crashing down in a single thought, a memory of Am’aleh’s voice before she had taken me to Phantaria.

Time passes differently in the Realm of the Thaynes… I had known the risk, but I had not truly understood it. I thought at most that time there might be different by a matter of hours, days at most. Not years… by Trisgen’s wrath, years.

As the realization washed over me, my attention turned back to the hard facts before me. Kinley’s energy signature felt and looked completely different. She had become a being of great magical potential… and I knew only too well the trials that could come with power.

“McKinley,” I tried again, “I… what has happened? I know not how long I have been away. I was caught… trapped, until now, in the Realm of the Thayne. Believe this, Kinley, if nothing else… the moment I returned to this world, I came for you.

“But what has happened? Tell me, McKinely… tell me everything.” I could not share my worries with her… but I felt certain I saw the horror of death and destruction reflected in those eyes.

Iswayed back and forth, the burning sensation of tears in my eyes. At first I couldn't believe that it was him, it was Joshua after seven hundred and thirty days give or take a few, since I had last seen him. The pain inside my chest almost made me double over, I felt almost as is if I was having some type of heart failure. The tears slid down my face, not willingly I just had to stare at him for a moment to take the sight of him in, standing in front of me. When he moved I moved almost like a jittery dance.

His words held empty meaning to me, I stared at him. Tears wet my cheeks blinking, lifeless eyes. "People have died, Nym-" My words broke off I could feel my lower lip tremble.

I looked away, for a moment. The pain of losing my one true friend was overwhelming. "She died."

Looking back at him, the realization on his face when he understood what I was saying. He advanced on me panic set in as I scurried away, tripping over my own feet. He stopped almost immediately when he saw the look of fear come across my face. "You weren't here. Not for two years, things happened. I... I killed people..." My voice squeaked.

"You left me to do her bidding and many have suffered greatly in your absence." I spat out bitterly at him.

Turning my back on him I walked towards the cupboard, fetching the second to last bottle of liquor. I refused to run back into his arms like I had many times before. He had shattered my heart, crushed my soul and in that dark period I had become a beast of destruction. I was what nightmares were made from, things mothers would tell their child to scare them into behaving. Tears fell, like a leaky faucet that constantly dripped. I poured myself a cup of bourbon, I didn't enjoy the taste but it got me intoxicated a lot faster then the sweeter stuff.

"This is all your fault." I drank from the cup deeply, wincing at the harsh burn that slid down my throat, warmed my belly and spread throughout my body. Shivering I moved to pour another cup, the harsh taste still in my mouth.

“I cannot deny that,” I said. “I cannot deny anything that has happened in my absence. I was gone from this world, with no remaining influence save the soldiers I trained. It is my great shame that they did not assist you.”

I took another small step forward, not reaching for her. Not yet. She was like a yearling that had survived a wolf attack… ready to kick and bite at anything.

“I know this will be of little consolation,” I said gently, “but it remains stone cold fact. I went through the same emotions you are now feeling when my superhuman abilities first developed. I was completely overtaken by them. I killed those who did not deserve it.” My voice was harder than my bones. “I’ll never stop regretting those killings… and yet, somehow I’ve found a way to move on. Perhaps I’ll never forgive myself… but I feel if I do as much good as possible, at some point the scale may balance.”

I took a breath and did my best to catch her gaze. I missed the way those crystal blue eyes felt when they met mine.

“But… Nymeria.” Now emotion did enter my voice. Real, choked sorrow. My memories of that little cottage would never be complete without the familiar dire wolf. She had saved Kinley’s life on numerous occasions, and even rescued me from a bandit’s dagger on one occasion. “I’m so sorry Kinley. I wish I could have been here. I wish I could make it different.” I let a long moment of silence lapse, thinking of the brave fanged creature.

“Where does she lay?” I asked at last. “I would pay my respects.”

An overwhelming sense of anger washed over me, I gripped the cup tightly. The glass creaking under the pressure as I stared at him, eyes blinking but no emotion seemed to register on my face. My chest rose and fell, my knuckles whitening still I continued to squeeze the cup. He was saying things like he knew what I had been through. He had no idea because he wasn't here, he was off doing his goddess's bidding. The one person I had allowed myself to love, to let down my guard and he had left me for another woman. At the mention of Nymeria's name it was like something in me had snapped, the glass in my hand shattered onto the counter. My lips parted, my void gaze fell down to my hand, it riddled with glass shards. Blinking at my hand I watched as blood started to slowly pool in the palm of my hand and overflowed onto the counter.

"The place where my berries used to grow." I said flatly.

My eyes stayed on the crimson liquid that simply dripped, my eyes collecting tears as I tried to swallow past the thick ball of raw emotions in my throat. "McKinley," I heard him say with concern.

I stiffened at the sound of my name rolling off the lips of my lover. I breathed out a shaky breath looked up finally, bright blue gaze filled with unshed tears. My muddy red locks falling in my face as I moved towards the washing basin. My hand slid into the frigidly cold water. A gasp parted my lips, starting to wash the gash on my hand.I chewed on my lower lip as she could feel, in a way sense that the demi being was closing the gap between the two with her back turned to him.

As much as I wanted to hate him, he was the first man that I had laid with, the first person I had truly loved. I had spent many nights laying wrapped in his arms dreaming of the life that we would have together. He had been my protector and I had been his breath of fresh air, filled with innocence and music. I had waited in the village he had left me in for months, the villagers growing concerned as much as me when the great Breaker had not returned from his quest. All of their love had left with him, it had felt like in a single instant my soul had shattered and I had been too weak to fight the darkness that had awaited for a moment as such to arrive and creep in.

Closing my eyes tightly I willed myself to move but my body seemed to refuse. I could feel how close he was getting, the nearness of him making my heart beat wildly. It was almost as if my body craved him, refusing to flea from the the one thing, person that could grant me peace even just for a moment. A breath of fresh air from the solitude of destruction that surrounded me. I stared down into the bowl of now bloody water, the murky reflection of myself staring back at me like a hollow shell of the being I had once been.