Krampus Curb Stomp (Solo

I was camped out in an old burned out keep, in the remains of an equally burned out castle. I had a fire going with the smoke drifting up through the air, and out of a hole in the ceiling. The castle was old, old before I was even an itch in my daddy's pants, in fact it was older than the current nation occupying the land. The keep was a round tower the highest of the castle, and was surrounded by a rather large courtyard which itself was surrounded fiver more circular "used to be" towers the tallest of which was still in half ruin. It was in the farthest north that I could find, and there I waited among the trees, the snow, the cold, and the night.

It was near midnight, and the full moon burned bright and low in the sky when I heard them, the bells that foretold ~his~ arrival. I soon heard his deep rumbling voice calling to his beasts of burden. The night grew clearer, more crisp as I heard the scraping of sleigh ski's against the cobble stone floor of the ancient court yard. I heard him step out, his boots crunching softly on the snow outside. Then there was a sound, kind of a like the sound of chimes, and in a twinkling of an eye he appeared by my fire.

He was adorned with scarlet hunting leathers lined with white fox fur. A red hunters cap, topped his head. He was a powerfully built man, barrel chested man, with a smaller keg around his middle which jiggled like a bowl full of jelly as he chuckled at me, and stating in an ancient, voice that reminded me of glaciers rubbing against one another"I received your letter young man." He sat himself on a rock next to me, and I gave him a bag that was full of cookies chocolate chip with nuts on them, and a jug of goats milk. "As is the custom in dealings with you" I gestured, and he laughed a belly laugh that ended in "HO HO HOOOOOO!!!!" I couldn't help but smile at that, his was a warmth that was infectious, one that awakened brighter feelings with in me, and he spoke "You seem to have me cornered young man. If nothing else you are incredibly clever. A naughty man requesting single combat with my co-pilot. If I refuse than the magic is broke, if I agree then the magic is broken. But allow me to let you in on a little secret. While you may not be seen as good, you are by no means wicked, or malevolent, follow me" he ordered.

He stood, and strode to the doors, pushing them open, I saw a creature standing eight feet tall, it had golden, spiraling goat like horns growing from its head; it was covered in a shaggy hairy red, and green cloak; his face was elongated; with sharp fangs, and black rubbery lips; its hands were thick, and knobby, ending in chitinous black claws. Continuing his thought as I looked at the creature he said "like the entity before you, you are necessary."

The creature spoke to me in a language ancient, and other. I didn't even have context to even start to translate it. The big man in red did the translation for me. "He says that you have made his day. It has been a score of ages since he's been aloud to let loose."

l drew my hand, and a half sword, and saluted the creature, the creature saluted me in kind, but with a cane. No not the support apparatus which older people use to get around, this thing was four and a half feet long, about an inch and a half thick, split down the middle, and tapered to a round end. Some times it's called a switch though I was always under the impression that a switch was cut by the offending child.

I grinned, and the creature let out a monstrous roar, which sounded like a goats billy but much deeper, and louder, and in a twinkling of an eye the creature appeared before me, and I felt his horns crash into my chest plate. I then flew through the air at an astounding rate, crashed through the doors of the main keep which was two inches of solid, magically reinforced, iron banded oak splintering it, and into the opposite wall, pulverizing several stones. I'm pretty sure a few internal organs got rearranged upon landing.

The jolly, elvish gentleman had reappeared inside the keep before I smashed the door. He has time to take a seat, produce a crystal goblet that was decorated in gold, silver, and red, and green gems, fill it with milk, and was dipping a cookie in it an amused smile crossing his face. He decided to take the time to talk to me "You know it's an interesting thought that has crossed the minds of the entire world, that my companion, and I are enemies." He let out another bellow of laughter "HOHOOOOOO! Far from it in fact, oh we are on different sides of the same coin, but we are on the same coin."

In another flash the goat like entity reappeared, and in a drumming rhythm ~bumpbumpbump bap~ delivered about a dozen blows into my stomach, capping the combination off by giving me a hard cross into my jaw sending my bouncing off the wall, and skipping across the floor like a stone on the surface of a pond. By some miracle I had kept my sword in hand.

The jolly old man was grinning at the show, chewing the milk drenched cookie, as he continued talking "children need discipline. When they do wrong, they need punished for it. That is where my friend comes in. Now he doesn't take any pleasure in causing a child harm, and he doesn't do it out of malice, but he does what is necessary to discipline a child."

I spit out some teeth, and stood up, the creature gave off another monstrous roar from where ever it disappeared to, and I felt its cloven foot drill into my chest plate again....it was dented. I intentionally dropped my sword as I flew through the air, my head clipped the seal, and I cartwheeled through it landing in the courtyard rolling with a grunt, but I noticed that the creature had a tell. It would roar before it would attack the bastard was intentionally giving me a hint.

By the time I finished my roll, the gift giver had moved him self, the table of stone, the rock used for a chair, and of course the milk, and cookies all into the courtyard as well. I started laughing, and he asked "what do you think is so funny?"

I decided to be honest with the guy who knows when you are sleeping, and when you are awake "He's got a tell!!"

"Of course!" The man in the red hunting letters exclaimed "my friend doesn't get to be magnanimous very often, you have given him a chance, and he's doing so by giving you a chance to prepare for his attack. Normally he thinks that if you're in a fair fight, someone is doing it wrong." he elaborated.

I laughed, as I heard the creature let another bellow, and I prepared I reached out with my mind feeling for the creature, his movements, I felt his body, and he was charging at me. Now a creature can move incredible fast, but few things can actually move faster than thought, my mind gripped the creatures foot, and fast balled it. The creature stumbled rolling across the court yard, and violently crashing into a pile of stones. I scrambled to my feet, and charged towards the creature.

The creature moved , and made a kick at my head, but not fast enough, and I caught the kick, gripped the leg in both hands, and slammed the creature into a fallen parapet.The creature countered easily, as it smashed its other foot in my face when it landed. I was kicked hard enough to snap my head back, and send me flying into a wall on the far side of the court yard. There elf of generosity was waiting, continuing his dissertation on how he, and the entity were part of the same whole. "Now while my friend is the punishment for poor behavior, I am the reward for good behavior. "

The creature bellowed out another roar, and I felt its hooves collide with my chest plate, as I was attempting to get up, and once again I went rolling across the courtyard. By some miracle I landed on my feet, sliding to a stop. Another roar , and I reached out, caught the creature by the horns, and twisted its head. The creature crashed into the ground. I landed on top of it, and started punching it in the face.

With a grunt, the creature threw me off, and clambered on top of me, and started hammering my face, each hit feeling like a blacksmiths anvil chasing into my skull from orbit.

I rolled slightly, and was able to drive my knee into the creatures side, it grunted, and I felt some of its ribs cave in. It grunted, and I was able to slip from under it, and snap kick my adversary in its jaw. It flipped off of me , and landed on it's back in a pile of ruble. I was beyond tired, I was beyond pain, my energy reserves were empty, and my ability to regenerate was at its edge. My mind was still running well, and I found a rock, a fairly heavy rock, gripping it with my mind, and a flick of my hand, it fast balled through the air, and just as the creature was pushing itself off the ruble the rock connected with it, crushing it against the rubble, and shattering.

"Well done!" came the deep voice of the cookie eating elf. He was now sitting near us once again, dipping a cookie into the milk. "Very well done, especially for one so young!" He reclined, and drank some of his milk washing down crumbs. "You see violence is sometimes necessary. My friend spanking children with a cane is necessary, the reaper mowing is necessary, the wolf, and the lion killing, and eating a weaker creature is necessary. These things by nature are not exactly good, but do contribute to good. You are not exactly good either, but you do contribute to good by maintaining balance, and keeping the walls of reality intact."

There was the now all too familiar below of the creature, and braced myself as the creature's horns once again crashed into me. I shifted my weight, and rolled the creature over me, and smashed it's head into the ground, snapping it's horn of as I did. I smiled to my self, as now I was armed once again. The small victory didn't last how ever, as the creature performed a low leg sweep, forcing me on my back, and the it drove it's cloven foot down on my middle, knocking the wind from me.

I let out an oof.

The creature scrambled up, as did I. Before it could completely recover, I threw my self at it, and we became locked in a wrestling match.

Early on, I had purposely dropped my hand, and a half sword now my mind reached out to such a familiar piece of metal. Eldritch energy wrapped around its hilt. The sword raised from its resting place, it's point directed toward the creature. Then with a mental grunt, I threw the thing straight as an arrow, fast as any falcon, and it struck true, skewering the creature through, and through from back to front, the blade barely missing myself.

The creature staggered back, looking down at the blade, and it began to laugh. I got a sickening feeling in my gut, which got even worse when it gripped the blade of my sword with its bare hand crushing it like a sheet of paper, and began pulling it out blade first through itself with sickening crunching sounds as the hilt passed through its bones. It transferred the sword from one hand to the other, gripping it from the hilt. It looked at it, and then with a flick of its wrist, a simple toss really, he threw the sword at me.

I heard four separate whip cracks as the sword broke the sound barrier four separate times before it reached me. The sword passed through the front of my armor, my ribs, the meat surrounding my ribs, by back ribs, the meat surrounding my back ribs, and the back of my armor like a hot knife through butter. When the hilt met my armor it buckled, and I flew across the courtyard, and the sword impaled itself against another stone wall, pinning me against it. The creature was on top of me before I could register my impact.

It punched my face caving it in, it punched it again smashing my head through the stone wall. Things went a little blurry. It leaped up into the air. performing a flip, and dropped on what was left of my jaw snapping my head back.

Some how, by some very real miracle I was not dead. I woke up sometime after. The creature sitting next to the jolly elf eating the remainder of the cookies none the worse for wear. To my astonishment neither was I at the table, that was originally a chunk of stone was a third gold, and silver decorated glass filled with cold, frothy milk, and a chair obviously meant for me.

The Krampus spoke, in its undecipherable language, and Santa translated "he says that you done well, and looks forward to see how much you improve over the year. I look forward to another fine showing as well. You will find that your body, armor, and arms are good as new. Now I have only a small amount of time to return North, so I wish you a Merry Christmas!" He, and his companion left the table, and entered the sleigh, and as they flew off I heard a hardy "HO! HO! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Before they winked out of existence.

Dracon receives a boosted 660 EXP for participation in Stonevale and 60 GP!

All rewards added!