Sink or Swim.

My feet pounded against the hot, dry, desert ground, bits of rocks and sand dug into the soles of my bare feet as I ran. My heart raced, galloping against my breast bone like a raging warhorse. I stumbled blindly towards nothingness, my eyes bled from the force of me pushing my true sight ability too far. I had foreseen the future of the laboratory, my home crumbling to the ground in flames. All that I had known my entire life gone in the blink of an eye, a force of some greedy raiders leaving me exposed to the Tular plains around me. The screams of the people I had left behind still seemed to echo in my mind. I pushed forward attempting to leave whatever chaos that had ensued behind me.

Something seemed to reach out and wrap itself around my ankle, my limbs flailed wildly as I tried to catch myself. My body crashed to the ground in a heep of long legs and arms. A new pain exploded through my entire frame, my hand attempted to reach for my ankle that had been grabbed by nothing but a dried out tree root. I wheezed with relief that it was not a person or animal. The hot sun yielded no relief for my battered body, taking the end of my cotton dress and ripping a strip of it off. I knew that I probably looked like a walking corpse, bloody tears falling from my now white glazed eyes. I tied the strip of fabric around my eyes hoping to shield them from onlookers if I ran into any of them.

I forced myself to my already aching feet, they seemed to scream for relief. I tried to take a deep breath, allowing myself a moment to try and collect myself, think of what the professor would do in a situation like this.

Breathe, calm yourself. Feel your surroundings, don’t search blindly. You have sight in your other senses Adrielle use them! I could hear his voice so clearly as if he was almost right next to me.

Though my skull pounded as if it had its own pulse I inhaled deeply, focusing on the air filling my lungs and pushing it out. Slowing my heart rate down and letting myself calm down pushing all that had happened out of my mind. I had practiced this many times before, it was the only other time I was allowed out of my room at the lab. I had to focus on the climate around me, the way the wind moved and stopped noting an object close by. The way the vibration from the earth beneath my feet changed to alert me of something coming.

Pain is a weakness you can’t afford out in the world, it is a feeling that you, yourself, allow your body to endure. Block it out! The Professor chastised me in my mind.

I nodded in agreement to the professor in my head, blocking out, not allowing my body to feel the pain in my feet but the vibrations beneath them. I felt that the vibration to the left of me felt a bit muddled, fainter in a way. Sliding my foot, slowly to the left it bumped a boulder. A smile pulled on the edges of my lips. “Small victories,” I breathed out. Gaining a bit of confidence I started to move forward, letting the breeze, climate change and vibration guide my steps.

My tongue in my mouth felt thick, my saliva had dried long ago as I could feel the thirst for something to drink take over my mind. The thought of something refreshing to drink allowed my mind to wander from the task at hand. It only took a moment for me to stub my toe on a large rock, a shriek of pain parted my chapped lips. I sounded like a wounded animal, grunting and howling. I bent over wobbling on one foot as I cradled my now throbbing toe, I could feel wetness which meant I had hit the rock with enough force to draw blood.

Whimpering like a small cub, I hobbled blindly. My hands outstretched as if trying to guide myself. I could feel the shame of ignorance press down on me, the sound of the professor reprimanding me. You lost sight at the task at hand, foolish child! You must survive and you can’t do that when you allow things such as being thirsty to cloud your mind! He grunted with disgust in my mind as many times he would if I failed at anything.

I nodded at the voice in my head like the obedient animal he had trained me to be. “I am sorry, Professor…” I mumbled quietly ignoring the dryness in my throat.

I didn’t know how much distance I had put between me and the lab but it felt like I had been walking for days. Shaking my head I pushed those thoughts from my mind and straightened my spine a little more. I need to keep moving and stop thinking of things that I couldn’t control but focus on those that I could. The voice of the professor in my head was a voice of reason, one that I needed to help guide me to survival.

The feeling of the sun's rays had lessened, they didn’t seem to beat down on me as harshly. That realization made me think that the sun was probably setting soon and I would need to find a place to sleep for the night or at least hold up at. I inhaled deeply this time not to calm myself but to smell. The air was dry but not as hot and thick as before, I couldn’t make out much which seemed hopeless. I ground my teeth with frustration before inhaling deeply again, focusing, trying to grab any scent that I could give myself a direction to walk.

A gentle breeze brought the smell of a fire under my nose, my heart jumped with excitement. A single hope that maybe someone could help guide me to the next town. Don’t be foolish girl! The professor’s voice popped into my head. You don’t know if the fire is from a farmer, or the scent of the lab still burning miles away. It could even be the raiders that had destroyed your home! He growled angrily.

“Stupid Adrielle, stupid…” I scolded myself after the thought. “Proceed with caution,” I agreed quietly.

My heart began to pound in my chest, unintentionally I ground my teeth together. The anticipation of the unknown was something I couldn’t seem to cope with out here in the world. I had spent most of my life that I can recall in the safety of the Laboratory, the same four walls and small single bed was what I was used to. I stood frozen in my post for a moment trying to calm myself, I was still blind and needed to rely on my other senses to help me, I couldn’t do that if I was too fearful.

Get it together girl! Slow down and just breathe. You need to survive this and the only way to do that is by getting a grip on yourself. The Professor’s voice rang true in my mind as I nodded.

I took a few more deep breaths, as cliche as is was it seemed to work best for me. I grounded myself in that exact moment. I allowed my toes to curl into the ground, centering myself as best as I could. I refused to move until I calmed my entire body, the stiff movements I had been doing weren’t going to help me. It took a few moments before my heart rate seemed to finally slow, my tense body relaxed a little.

“Okay, nice and slow Adrielle.” I whispered.

Each footstep I took was deliberate never faltering as I knew that I needed to be trust myself to be able to endure whatever was to come. I had let myself get used to the idea of being held in captivity for too long, I had been studied and tested but never had I been left to be free. Like an animal that had spent its entire life in a zoo only to be released into the world after knowing nothing more than what the zoo had “taught” it.

As the smell of burning wood grew stronger, perfuming the air around me, I slowed my pace. I knew that the wind seemed to be carrying the smell to the northeast, which meant that I needed to widen my direction. I didn’t want to just waltz into some unknown camp, leaving myself so vulnerable. I crotched low, incase the fire was larger than I expected and cast light onto me.

The time seemed to sleep pass me with ease asI seemed to between the trees. The confidence that I had needed to begin with flowed through me now. I knew that the moment that it wavered I would be screwed and unable to take care of myself. “Keep going Adrielle, nice and slow.” I whispered encouraging words to myself. I paid attention to the temperature around me, I knew that once I get close enough the eat of the fire would carry itself towards me.