August/September Vignette

Welcome to the August Vignette!


Prompt

Your character looses something of great importance and irreplaceable to them. What does it happen to be and what lengths will they go to get it back?


Vignette Close Date

August 31st, 2021 at midnight EST


Rules

1. One submission per character.

2. All entries have to be within the declared period. Editing your post and completely changing your submission is okay as long as all the edits occur before midnight EST on the closing day.

3. The moderator judging the monthly vignette contest may post a vignette at the end, but will not be eligible for first or second place.

4. Only on-topic vignettes are liable for rewards. The topics are broad enough that no character should be particularly limited.

5. PCs must be involved in all vignettes. How "canonical" you choose to have the events of the vignette is up to you.

6. All participants receive EXP. The top two finishers also receive GP. (Clarification: this excludes off-topic submissions, as per Rule 4).

7. Entries are assessed on the following merits:

Use of topic: Did the writer use the topic, or write something completely random and off topic?

Creativity: Did the writer make something unique out of the topic or was it more cliche?

Mechanics: Basic writing mechanics: spelling, grammar, punctuation, word usage, etc.

Notes: Additional comments.

"No! No!"

She looked up. Her visions was flashing between a blur and a mess. She gasped, feeling the gap in her left hand. No... they stole it...

She watched as two bounty hunters made off with Felicity's damascus finger. Yes. She had a damascus finger. It had been a gift. She had lost her pinky in her childhood and went many long years with only four digits on her left hand. Then, an unexpected friend had given her a glove with a damascus finger as a random gift. It had touched her deeply, an act of support after he had initially insulted her lack of a pinky when they first met. It... it meant so much to her...

And now, she had been held down. The glove was ripped off and they made off with a neat little gadget for some quick money. As they darted through the boulder littered countryside, she gritted her teeth. No. No, this would not do. She needed it back. Not just because it was so easy doing things with five fingers on both hands. Not just because the damascus seemed to especially hurt opponents in unarmed combat. Not even because it made her feel better looking; not getting strange looks from civilians for her missing appendage now. No, the real reason she needed it back that badly... was because of who gave it to her.

Leoric... You did care.

The winds howled, causing eerie noises to filter through the area. Boulders were seen left and right. It was like a city, the boulders towering high like watch towers. Grasses and plants were caressed by the winds below, blowing wildly below. The wind reminded her so much of him. She drew her arming sword, raising her other hand and activating her Mobility Assistance Device. Her M.A.D. shot a cable out and slammed into one of the towering boulders in the area. With a whirl, she shoot forward using the grappling hook. One of the bandits turned around, shocked to see Felicity Rhyolite swinging around a boulder and kicking off another jagged stone. She fell and rolled across the grassy floor. Not losing momentum, she pushed off and was darting even closer to them as her cabble retreated into her M.A.D.'s cuff.

"How!" The bandit cried, "That finger was connected to nerve endings! How is she not at least wincing in pain!"

Oh, yes. The nerve endings. She took the glove and finger off before sleeping most nights, and it hurt every time. It felt like burning in her knuckles, the disconnection. Her finger being forced off hurt even more. It was like acid was drizzled over an open wound, and she knew that her hand was irritated. Gripping her sword with her good hand, she continued to race towards them. She had suffered far worse than this physical pain. Quite frankly, losing her momento to him would be hurting way more. She needed it back.

"Give it back!"

She finally caught up with the first robber. He knew he was caught and turned around, raising his staff. Felicity's momentum was so rapid, she was unable to change direction when he rammed the staff right into her stomach. Her sword fell out of her hand as she felt the wind jammed out of her stomach and through her mouth. Tears of shock flooded her, but she was relentless. She grabbed the shaft and turned aside, pulling the hand closer even as her left hand throbbed. A solid punch landed, and the man fell knocked out. She bit her lip, looking up to see that the other thief had stopped to look, then turned and darted away. As she ran, Felicity swayed from that creaming. Still, she was not giving up. She used her M.A.D. once again and swung across boulders, flying higher into the air as she caught up with her attacker.

Releasing her grappling hook, she let herself freefall. Heavy and muscular, she landed a powerful kick on her enemy as she slammed into her. They skidded across the ground, dragging tufts of grass and kicking up cool dirt. As they slowed, Felicity reached and started desperately wrestling her glove back.

"Give it to me!"
"No!"

Possibly concussed from the tackle, the woman struggled to keep ahold of the item of interest. Felicity yanked the glove out of her hand, receiving a numerous kicks in the side from the struggling opponent. Felicity seemed unable to feel it as she pushed herself off her opponent. Struggling with lightheadedness, she continued to grip her prized possession. As she staggered and swayed, the man from behind her wheezed, "Fine... It's yours."

Felicity barely noticed him run up to his companion and carry her away. As she wind blew, her hair was blown around and in her face. The winds reminded her of him, as he used wind magic. She looked down to the glove, tears flooding her eyes as she ran her right thumb across the metal finger.

Leoric... Did you actually love me?

She stood alone, surrounded by cold and unfeeling boulders.

I lost my knitting needles.

I know. I know. Such an idiot. Such a simple, stupid and not small thing! There they were, just stuck into my ball of wool by my side and then - well.

Distraction. An old grumbling man, with pointed ears like a goblin but skin of a southern human, rocked up to my seat with dazed eyes. Heavily, he sat down opposite me - something which I never would have invited him to do - and hefted his arm up to his side, scrunching it like it was injured or disformed. Then he starts going off in a garbling tone, spinning an outrageous yarn about how he left the battlefront, and his soldiers were left there, about how it was awful, the front, and how he had barely escaped with his hand.

His eyes were half focused, lips trembling in breaths. Grabbing my drink he slavered as he drank up the rest of the contents as I could only stare, smile politely and feel horribly uncomfortable in the fading light. Once he put the drink down he remained leaning towards me and I was subject to the worst breath even an orc could muster and - well ...

I leant back. Rude, but I leant back, cringing at his terrible scent.

"Well that's rude," he gaffawed and up and left.

I winced but said nothing. Didn't apologise, didn't move, only watched him leave a dirty ring on the chair. A young bartender quickly came over and cleared my table, nodding in understanding.

She brought me another fresh beer, and we shared a sigh.

It was only later though that I realised my knitting needles are gone too.

Vignette closed for judging. It will be posted here real soon.

Thank you both for participating!

August/September Prompt- Your character looses something of great importance and irreplaceable to them. What does it happen to be and what lengths will they go to get it back?



Flamebird


Use of Topic- Well done with using the prompt in such a way to make it your own. There wasn’t one point where I was left wondering where the elements I was looking for may come into play and it pulled me through to the end with an interesting snippet into the life of Felicity with a spark of emotion. Although, I did feel a bit like I was reading through a checklist in spots.


Creativity- This too was a particularly good area with the piece written by walking the reader through the story with enough information needed to paint a picture. You touched base on blending the past with the present in this piece which helped the reader understand the events surrounding Felicity with a glimpse of the emotion connected. There were a couple spots where the prose felt a bit shaky with a little over telling in spots which created a hiccup with the pace. I typically enjoyed reading through to the end overall.


Mechanics- Unfortunately this area was the hardest hit of the bunch. There were spelling errors peppered in like ‘cabble’ and ‘shoot’ which it reads like it should be ‘shot’. In other areas there were some words that were used that I think were meant to be something else that would have been better suited for what was being told, in which creating a some confusion. Other words were also a bit repetitive within close proximity. All of the above mentioned could be easily cured with a read through and edits before closing.



Celandine


Use of Topic- It was definitely off to a good start, but the prompt wasn’t fully utilized by leaving the how the knitting needles were of great importance and irreplaceable to the character and “what lengths will they go to get it back?” out of the equation. This resulted in causing this entry to read like only some of the story was told. I don’t imagine it was intentional and maybe more would have been edited in later, but life took over? I’m not sure. What had been presented did have an enjoyable hook to interest the reader, although ending in disappointment.


Creativity- What had been presented in this Vignette entry was fairly well done. With the descriptors that were chosen, you gave just enough to start the imagination on a journey without beating down the pace, but lacked in other areas. With what had been given, I had enough that it’s a tavern setting, but I would have liked to see just a touch more information about the setting without overdoing it.


Mechanics- There wasn’t much as to punctuation mistakes to need mentioning. I did enjoy the uncommon wordplay used in the piece showcasing a glimpse into quite a vocabulary, although I did catch where “disformed” was used rather than “deformed” could have been the intent.



Congratulations to Flamebird for the win!



Flamebird receives:

1100 EXP
200 GP


Celandine receives:

200 EXP
75 GP (Deductions for an incomplete Vignette entry in this particular case)



Thank you so much for your participation and patience on this!


Rewards Added