Core Matters (Closed)

Felicity collapsing had been enough to snap Nevin’s focus in her direction. Her words echoed in his head as he scanned her body rapidly, eyes flicking across her form as he tried to search for some sign of damage or trauma. But he couldn’t see any sign external injury - which meant either she’d been damaged internally, or… the problem was in the young girl’s head. Considering how she had collapsed earlier while trying to talk about her deceased brother there was a very good chance that it was somehow related to that. He couldn’t say for sure though, and he wasn’t about to lie to the little redhead.

“Easy, easy, easy there snowflake.” Nevin shut out the rest of the world around them as he cradled the teen in his arms and threads, lifting her up into the air as her body shook with tremors. The more he looked, the more similar to her earlier memory relapses this seemed. Something had triggered her falling into a memory, or stirred one inside of her, and it had once more left her devastated. Crimson, the poor child couldn’t even talk with people right now without running the risk of triggering one of these events? He had to get her back inside, to somewhere safe so she could actually rest and try to rebuild her shattered mental equilibrium.

“Come on little snowflake, let’s get you to a bed.” Carrying the teen and the golem core, Nevin strode back towards his shop. This was easily the most blatant Nevin had been about using his threads in public - not even Eteri had managed to get him to stroll through a town carrying her, though he had no doubts that she would be absolutely thrilled if he decided to do that. He ignored the slightly shocked looks from people he passed, some of them surprised by the threads, the others -a small minority that was aware of the red tendrils- shocked with him openly using them as he walked through the town streets.

But he had to. While the core was not necessarily extremely large, it was constantly lashing out with magic, trying to latch onto anything that it could. It was only by keeping the thing cocooned up in his threads that Nevin was able to keep it from reforming the golem that he and Felicity had dealt with before. As Nevin kept it wrapped up he could feel it condensing, retracting inwards on itself, and he was forced to constantly tighten his threads to keep the thing from slipping free. And on the other hand, he had to make sure that the young redhead in his arms didn’t slip and fall either. While he had full confidence in carrying her, one thing did prevent him from just doing that normally.

Felicity was shaking every so often, trembling violently as she curled in his arms and threads and sobbed. While Nevin didn’t think another memory had stricken her at the moment, he did not want to run the risk of another running through her scattered mind, and cause her to lash out or to spasm, and fall to the ground. While the girl was certainly durable enough to be perfectly fine from such a fall, the older redhead still did not want her hitting the ground. Jars to her body might make the turmoil in her head worse.

Nevin was pulled from his thoughts by the arrival at his front door. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. A thin cord of threads separated from the ones around Felicity, and dropped into his pocket. He fished out the key, then unlocked the door and opened it. A shove with a shoulder, and the door was open fully, and he carried his two burdens - one far more precious than the other - inside. Kicking with his foot shut the door once Felicity and the core were inside, then a deft twist with his threads had the door locked from inside. The key was dropped back in its place, and Nevin turned and started towards the back of his shop.

He needed to work on the core, and keep an eye on Felicity at the same time. Once more, he was thankful that he had had the foresight to install a cot in his workshop downstairs. Carrying the girl and the stone down the ladder was a bit difficult, and he ended up having to lower the core down below him, while he held Felicity up in the air above him. It was awkward, but at last he managed it. Downstairs, Nevin noticed something odd.

The core had stopped trying to grab onto the earth and dirt around it. He thought that a bit strange, considering that they were now underground once more. Did it have to do with the fact that they were in his workshop? Nevin had liberally been working his magic in this place for some time - was that enough to impregnate the stone around them with power, enough to shut down any attempts at using it to form a body once more? It seemed so. Nevin set the core down on his workbench, then focused his attention on Felicity as he gently laid her out on the cot once again.

“There, little snowflake, we’re safe. We’re safe.” He murmured the words under his breath as he unfurled the threads from around her. Of the two of them, he was the one worse off physically. While he let Felicity come back to her senses, Nevin set about making a simple healing tonic. For him, a blood-based one was far better than his normal herbal concoctions. He kept glancing at the girl, then the core, making sure he wasn’t about to have a panicking girl or a golem on his hands once more as he worked.

Anxiety.

Fear gripped her ferociously. Her chest tightened, her breath felt short and squeezed out. Panting, sweat coated over her as she clung tightly to Nevin, her brotherly figure. She was wrapped in his crimson threads. They felt strange, like a liquid, yet were sturdy and firm. Her rapid fear had her clinging onto his shirt. Unending terror bolted through her body as her vision glazed. She had no idea what was surrounding her. Sound was distorted, feeling was oddly muffled. Her vision switched between rapid blurs and turning off, visions of her past striking in milliseconds during her blackouts.

It was not just her cousin either.

Everything she had endured within that time invaded her thoughts. Armies of memories stormed the gates, breaching defenses. Memories of Jonathan’s death, yes, but other transpiring’s as well. The news of her uncle’s death devastated her all over again. Her feelings of despair and loneliness in the empty house that was once her. The true feeling of being lost and alone. Alone…

Ayleth also stampeded through her head.

Numerous memories, all terrible, ran rapid. The way she tortured, murdered, so many people. The abuse she handed out to her, the trauma…

Felicity did not notice at all when Nevin brought her into his home, into his lab… She did not even notice when he set her down.

Felicity just… came back to. Eyes suddenly unglazed, realizing what reality and memory was again. Unease still flooded her body, yet the familiar sights made it into her vision. The familiar ladder up, the two workstations situated at the opposite sides of the room. She could smell the fire of the oven cooking, she could hear a pot boiling with whatever potion the alchemist was brewing. The many odd and wonderful scents of various herbs and plants…. Nevin’s healer’s hole. His doctor’s dungeon. His laboratory where he created his greatest inventions – potions, pills, medicines and poisons. His layer, his den, his fortress…

Her anxiety began to simmer down, just like the slowly broiling medicine on the stove. Still, she curled up in the fetal position, her thoughts starting to line up with logic again.

Why am I like this? Why now? What’s happening?

Questions ran hastily in her psyche. The tightening and butterflies within her chest still did not yield, even if she was out of panic mode.

Through the corner of her eyes, she saw something. She jumped! She sat straight up, on her knees. Her hands searched for her weapon as they shook, “St-stop righ-” She paused upon processing who it was.

She sunk back into the cot, legs flattening as she pulled the pillow up, hugging it in attempts to hold onto something. She whispered timidly, “Nevin, sorry…”

Draining the magic out of the golem core was proving to be a rather tricky process. Nevin could have just cracked the thing let it all flood out - he had protections in place here, in his little workshop, that would have kept both himself and Felicity safe from the outpouring. But the blood alchemist had a different idea in mind, had something he could use the core for if it remained undamaged.

Right now, the thing was absorbing ambient mana in the air, and through a process that he could just barely follow, converting it into the earth-natured mana that had been empowering the golem before. That in itself wasn't too unusual, a few similar things tended to do that. No, what Nevin was interested by was the quality of the conversion. While it wasn't perfect, it was rather highly effective - and the core itself was a high quality gem. He could use that, once he had removed the earth nature from the conversion, and set something more appropriate in place.

To do this, he was having to keep the gem starved of ambient mana, so that it stopped the conversion. Once he finished that, he would be able to bleed out the last of the earth magic, and begin working to change the core so that it did wht he was needing it to. Slow and a bit difficult - and largely boring.

A rustle of motion drew Nevin's attention, and he turned his head to see Felicity curl up into a small ball on the cot hanging from one wall. It was the first time she had moved since he brought her down here twenty minutes ago. The alchemist was glad the young redhead was moving again - he could have tried to bring her out of her strange shock, but he had no idea what had triggered it, so he didn't know if he would make it worse in the attempt. No, being patient seemed to have been the right answer here.

He started to turn to her after making sure that the core was firmly secured - and she scrambled up, backwards, pressing herself against the wall and shivering violently as her hand clutched at her waist. Attempting to draw her sword, perhaps - which was currently laying a short distance away, on one of the tables down here. Nevin had thought it wise not to leave the panicking girl in the depths of some attack with a means to accidentally hurt herself so close at hand.

He folded his arms together and tilted his head to one side, watching as clarity returned to Felicity'eyes - followed swiftly by comprehension. She murmured some apology as she drew back, her body language closing up as she raised her knees to her chest and curled her arms around them. The blood mage shook his head once and relaxed his own posture.

"You've nothing to apologize for, little snowflake. No harm was done, and you are safe and sound. Come, unfurl and sit up. You may need to stretch yourself out, I don't know how badly your muscles locked up in that spasm." He rolled one hand at her, indicating she needed to stand up from the bed.

Her muscles did ache. They were tight, caught up in self defensive flight response. Her feelings of her own body returned and disassociation steadily melted away. Nevin was calm, reassuring. No wonder he reminded her of her late cousin. She reached out, hand shaky and pale. She took his hand, still numb. Unable to feel the pressure she put on him, she may have squeezed a little bit too hard as she pulled herself up. Briefly, dizziness overtook her. She grasped Nevin’s shoulders, steadying herself as she cried out in shock.

She grimaced, her balance returning. As she stood still, she attempted to stretch. A bit uncoordinated, yet easily slipping into the exercises. She regularly worked out, thus these stretches were common to her. The muscle memory was sharp as she moaned, “Is it time to take those blood thinners?”

She had been recently prescribed a set of blood thinners to help with her not-so-liquid blood. She had nuclear powers that practically ravaged her body. Her magic affinity helped her to cope, yet the anger and bleed based powers still proved to be potentially fatal. She was lucky she found Nevin when she did, as even heart attack or stroke was likely. She somehow had not developed bad enough blood cots…

Even now, more questions flooded her mind. Eyes wide in a faded fear, she used the bed to continue stretching her muscles out. “N-Nevin, I-“

She grunted, putting her feet against the floor. Her memories still felt fresh. Heavy emotion laid upon her as she resisted the urge to cry. No, she needed to get her thoughts out in a clear, concise manner. She rubbed her eyes, attempting to push through the lump in her throat.

“Jonathan…” She mumbled, “My un-un-cle-“ She paused, swallowing. Tears started to trickle down her face as she rasped, “Water?”

Nevin got her water. She gulped it down, soothing the tightness in her throat. She then blurted it out, “Ayleth! Everything! She-“ Time ran out on her emotion clock. She broke down. She placed her free hand on her knee, bending over as she sobbed. “All over again!”

She lifted her arm, violently throwing the glass down. The glass shattered loudly on the cold floor. She hardly seemed to care, caught up in internal crises. Anger screamed through her red face as she continued to wail, “Why?! Why now! Curses! Curses!” The shattered glass was tattered into pieces, like her psyche. The girl experienced approximately three years worth of trauma in a series of blurred dreams, all over again. She was confused, terrified. She fell back on the bed as she cried out, “What’s happening? Nevin! What’s happ-ppen-ening to me?”

Her hands fell over her face, back heaving.

Watching someone break down was decidedly unpleasant. Nevin chewed on the inside of his lip after he handed Felicity the water, watching as she tried to rally herself - and failed. The glass was thrown shattering against the ground as she fought with her emotions, trying desperately to keel them at bay. The older redhead frowned and waved one hand, thin red lines emerging from his arm and sweeping the broken glass against the wall, out of the way.

That dealt with, he stepped closer to Felicity placing a hand on one shoulder and gently guiding her back to the cot. She curled one hand into his shirt, and the other grasped weakly at her own clothes as she tried to rally herself again and again against the waves of emotion that were rolling through her.

"The blood thinners will wait until I don't think you're going to vomit them up from stress." Nevin knelt down in front of her as he sat her on the cot - the low height of the simple bed brought his head in line with hers. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze - nothing really compared to the strength with which she had held on earlier, but a reassurance none the less.

"And if I had to guess - it's because the last day or two is the first time you've really allowed, or been allowed, to feel. You know I will not judge you for being human, and having emotions - so they are all coming to the fore." The alchemist's voice was calm, steady as he spoke, a gentle sussuration that gave her mind something to latch onto. "When our emotions are already amplified is when we often find ourselves caught in the grasp of another - joy, relief, anger, sadness. They don't quite feed into one another - but if they are resolved, then another can more easily take their place. In your case, little snowflake, you've been hiding behind anger for so long that your other emotions, grief most especially, have been bottled up for a long time. Having things around that remind you of that grief - it can either help, or hurt, when you try to recover. Now then." He straightened up, slipping from her grasp as she curled up on the cot, rocking back and forth slightly as she wrapped her arms around her knees as she pulled her legs up to her chest.

"If you want - need perhaps - I can give you a mild calming agent. Something that will let you breathe and focus. It won't get rid of the emotions though - only let you work through them." A very mild soporific would do the trick. Laced with something to sweeten it, perhaps. Then he could get her to start talking about whatever it was that had had her break down like this. And it was very clear that she needed to get this off her chest, as it seemed to be a major source of the grief that she had been bottling up for who knows how long.

Only a mumble, a slurred “yes”, was emitted from the girl as Nevin turned to work on the calming medications. Her heart beat brutally against her ribcage, threatening to burst out. The pulse was neurotic and heavy, lightning quick and full of terror. She had nothing to run from, but she felt like running.

Her body vibrated as she huddled in the cot. Her thoughts raced too fast for even her to read. Blurred images, miserable memories, scattered senses that were someplace else. Her fingers went numb, hands hard to move, as she closed her eyes. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Snowflake?”

She opened her glazed eyes. The older alchemist held a pill and glass of water in his hands. Her fingers twitch, her arm protesting, but she shakily extended her hand and took the pill. After popping it into her mouth, she attempted to take the glass. It felt heavy as lead. She had to use both arms to take it from Nevin's grasp. Even then, her arms trembled as she drank the water.

After lowering it, she barely lost her grip. Nevin thankfully already had it in his hands, but Felicity’s own convulsed in weakness. Leaning back, into the shadows of her darn interior, the redhead leaned her head against the wall. Her arms were limp and at her sides, but her legs were still bunched against her chest. The panic within her began to slowly ebb away, yet the splitting pain remained.