Roast the Character Above You

[Eilan "Ea"]

Raise up the new boy, it's Ea, I stay tough
Blaze chumps and flip Shinsou butter-side up
I'mma smother a Neanderthal in fire, I don't play
Show these dweebs to the end of days
I've slept so long but you can't harsh my mellow
Just need some levels to wipe out this ghetto
I fought with the Grand Mage classes, exterminated the masses
Now i'm here to spit a thesis against both of your asses!

Only a mindless fool would knock Melchor's plan
To build an empire across space with a demon clan
With the Eilans he charted out the planets for my kin
So now I'm turning my attention to Shin
A Eilan called Temperance came to your place
He came to your planet and fucked up your race
Liquified and drank up your lady like gin
And he wasn't even as strong as me, the Eilan kingpin
And Felciity, let this sink in, I'm about to rain on your parade
Itchy trigger finger quicker with the flames than your name
You're history, I'll be the first to put it in writing
MC Rhyolite just got struck twice by greased lightning

[Flamebird]

Wait, who on Tenebrae is this little freak?
Some REEEing tiny smol demon wannabe?
Why is this weird creature yelling at me?
I thought it couldn't even speak properly

You think you're so big and bad and terrorizing
You're nothing compared to me, a beast
You're evil? Oh great, more of a reason to toast you
With my nuclear rage, and now I'll roast you

You need to drink algae infested pond water to stay alive
Meanwhile my magic keeps me going as I dominate the fight
You think you know how to twist your DNA
My own DNA could kill anybody, but I've survived that injection's fate

Hey!

I'm a creature of destruction
You're just a sad psychopathic muffin
I'm the OG Queen of taking hits
You behave like a little rotten spoiled kid

Top Maddy or Lye's villainy? Oh please!
Icebreaker was a better big bad without even trying
Meanwhile, I'm the Heroine of the Year
Making sure pests like you just disappear

[Eilan "Ea"]

Ooh, here comes Rhyolite, big tongue wobbling
Stumbling through her rhymes like a big dumb goblin
Your powers make me sick, but I'm better with the flu!
Like everything else, maybe you should let Shinsou do your rapping for you
Now I know I’ve got a temper, but you're making my ears bleed, you need a muzzle
Why are you pissed off all the time? Didn't your dad give you a cuddle?
You're the type of girl who could die of heart attack just in the shower
I bet that temper tantrum lasts about five fucking hours

Lye stabbed women when they wouldn't give him attention
Just like a poor man's version of OJ Simpson
Maddy started off a chemist and yeah, she was a prodigy
But after that she was only hot periodically

You, like humanity, are the sum of everything I despise
With the most dysfunctional family since the Orlouges were alive
Your fifteen minutes of fame with the Brotherhood came and went
Go back to Leoric and spend some time before you’re pregnant
Your frigid little body couldn't even handle what I do
Biology? When I get hard, I stay hard, and smack a bitch or two
You wanna bring the heat with the mushroom clouds you're making
I'm baking evil raps from scratch, I ain’t faking
I exterminated populations; you couldn't break a piece of balsa
White Glint your face, make a double chin salsa
I’m 2,500 years old, about to end the seeding!
When I’m done with you I’ll leave you burned and bleeding.

[Flamebird]

Galactic domination? Boo! What a clichéd trope
Your pathetic attempts at taking over Althanas are frankly, quite a bore
When you can form proper sentences, I'll try to take you seriously, wimp
Why so far away from home? Did they banish you like that outcast wannabe Invader Zim?

You may get angry, but no one is angrier than me boi
My body? Frigid and little? Nah, my muscles are ready to drop kick you back to space's void
I don't need Shinsou or Leoric to finish the battles I've started
I can survive any bleed or wound, no need to skin harden

Man, you're old! Grandpa Ea needs to get with the times
Readers enjoy more sympathetic villains with good reasons for their crimes
I could snap steel beams like twigs, my blood would leave you bedridden, take a sip
Here's a cup of all the reasons you should go back to isolated confinement, hibernation

I don't need to murder peeps to prove I'm OP
You thinking slaughtering innocents makes you some kind of king but really you're nothing
Even if I did get pregnant I could defeat you mid-labor
Take the plans of your Melkor wannabe and take your bad raps with you, cya later!

[Flamebird]

Let's bring this back, folks!

With or without the rap battles.

[Philomel]

Scary. ^^

[Flamebird]

Philomel probably has aids from the amount of people she slept with

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

I'm back, ragechild, now stand up and rhyme
I only came back so I could beat your ass a third time

Come at this Telgradian from the front, are you trippin'?
Too fast to touch, guess what? Now your arm's missing!
You've got gifts girl but like Storm on whisky, they're both wasted
Enpera will take you back to school, I'll get you f*cking educated

You say you're nuclear, but I've always dropped more bombs
You should stick to tonguing Leoric and going on proms.
What's wrong with your face? You going to cry?
Because your mentor left you at Whitevale to die?
Christ, newsflash, kid: Brotherhood is dirty business
Show some mettle or you're fired, you're Shinsou's Apprentice
Your sword's named Copycat, huh? Ain't that sweet
Shame you fight with it like you rode a bicycle race with no seat

You can't challenge my immortal throne
Because soon i'll be a god to rule over all Corone
Maybe Radasanth could beg me for a truce, cause when Shinsou let's loose
I'll put the Assembly's neck in a noose
I'll lance a motherfucker if he looks at me wrong
I'll be a Thayne, the bards will write me a song
I'm on point like the tip of my sword
Enpera's enough to destroy any Gilded Lily whore

[Flamebird]

Yo
Ragegirl is here to send you in a whirl
You read emotions like you save Whitevale
You train apprentices like you jump ship sale
Sucks

You're gonna get it rough, bud

You think you can be a god now?
You think you deserve some throne?
As far as Remy's convinced you're a clown
You've committed too many sins to atone
You're so stubborn, don't learn your lessons
While I'm rising from the ashes
I am strong. What do the strong do when afraid?
Whatever you're not doing, cause you keep getting played

I got my husbando to give up sleeping around for me
Meanwhile, Philomel's still catching aids and you keep losing Remy
That white coat's so bloodied, needs a tailor
Your own daddy thinks you're a failure
So you shouldn't recruit you to your Brotherhood
Maybe rethink that giant ego before you're thrown under the hood

I faced fear incarnate and won
I became your worst fate, your worst nightmare
From a mistake to a bloody champion
I get stronger the more you try to hit me, more than you could bear

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

You talk a lot of shit, but I'm sick when I spit
I'd rather lose Remy than sleep with Leoric
They call my father Regent but i'm the King of the mic
Call me Joffrey, i'll put your fucking head on a spike
I'm not dead inside, I've just got control of my flows
But you're like a coked up unstable garden gnome