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Thread: Mommy Issues

  1. #21
    Legend

    EXP: 127,650, Level: 15
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    Level completed: 55%,
    EXP required for next Level: 7,350


    Philomel's Avatar

    GP
    14,025

    Name
    Philomel van der Aart (+ Veridian)
    Age
    30 (+10)
    Race
    Faun (+ Fox/Earth Spirit)
    Gender
    Female (+ Male)
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    Corone

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    "I can be a positive role model," she said with some certainty, knowing it to be true. At least she had been told that she was plenty of times. Her whole past twenty years had been dedicated to empowering women to the point of independence. Over half of brothels in Radasanth now thrived under her Matron scheme, where the whores essentially were self employed and were able to keep a healthy profit of their earnings after paying room and board fees to the brothel. Her army also was fully trained, and had a strong reputation, especially after the Siege of Radasanth and it's attachments to Whitevale. So empowering people, being a good role model was what she was all about.

    Although was she that much of a motherly role model? Had her passion for power and ambition to be known in the world actually overtaken her ability to be a good soul? Had her all of her desires caused her to actually make mistakes in life? All this carelessness that others pointed out she had made, caused by her apparent lack of confidence and concentration as the world had become more complex around her ...

    Life had become outrageously difficult and costly recently, sacrifices needing to be made far too easily.

    "My mother ... My own mother was a whore. Trapped in a horrible world by her - we called them the Bosses." She sighed, sinking into the grass and letting Veridian slip from her shoulders. "Her name was Lacey. She met a faun who came to hire her once. He got her pregnant, paid her freedom fees to the Boss, and that was my father. He kept her in a small flat and was horribly abusive. One day," she ran a hand through her hair as the words continued to tumble out. "One day he just disappeared, and so she took me back to the brothel - it was called the Hidden Tiger. Or the Crouching Dragon. Or both. Anyway I grew up there, and was ... Well owned really. When the Boss did nothing to react against my mother being raped by a patron I killed the rapist, the Boss, burnt down the brothel and took my mother somewhere safe."

    She looked up to Flamebird, sorrow deep in her eyes. "What was I to do but swear vengeance on every man who did a woman wrong? That's where I began, and here I am now - a general, a Matriarch, a ... Well. A woman."
    *admin at your service*

    Matriarch of the Gilded Lily and of its brothels, associated establishments and the army.

    Characters:
    The family triplet: Philomel, Vaeron and Celandine.
    The god and kenku triplet: Stare, Avin and Vixen.
    The Primordials: Professor Charles and Moros.

  2. #22
    Nuclear Rage

    EXP: 64,948, Level: 10
    Level completed: 99%, EXP required for next Level: 52
    Level completed: 99%,
    EXP required for next Level: 52


    Flamebird's Avatar

    GP
    1,898

    Name
    Felicity Rhyolite
    Age
    19
    Race
    Neanderthal/ Human Hybrid
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Corone

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    Philomel's story was gruesome as they came. And Philomel had decided on a path many would praise. Rise from the ashes, claim a crown in the wastelands. Make a kingdom and rule. Felicity herself had been on that path. Her hero complex was in the heights of testing. Felicity wanted to help people, to stop suffering. She also wanted to be honored and praised, to never be shunned again. Yet, hearing Philomel's story, a strange fun house mirror of her own, Felicity's eyes were opened. What did she truly want? To be the proud general of the Brotherhood of Castigers? To be a beloved hero? Or did she want something simpler? Her feelings for Leoric danced in her mind, as did her affection for Kylie. She remembered leaving them for Whitevale, when she had been so torn between duty and love.

    Duty and love.

    Felicity had always mixed up the two until now.

    Her eyes widened, her back straightened as she muttered in a sense of wonder, "Vanity..."

    Felicity remembered her old mentor, before Shinsou Vaan Osiris. She remembered Ashla Icebreaker, who had become the Executioner of the Wicked, Ayleth. Like Philomel, Ashla chased vengeance and validation. It had turned her into a wretched monster.

    Felicity looked up at Philomel, "Revenge, power, kingdoms, pride... It's all vanity. I get it now."

    Felicity leaned forward, determination flooding her. The true reason for returning to Whitevale, Felicity realized, was her personal attachment to Shinsou. She had been told before, by Hayate, that the Brotherhood was nothing compared to Shinsou. Felicity understood this. She valued the lives in that city, she truly did, but her love for the teacher who gave her meaning again mattered even more.

    "It's all vanity! Nothing of that matters, nothing! The only thing that matters is love. Love. Love for your friends, your family... Nothing matters but that, Philomel. And that's why I'm going to Whitevale. Shinsou means too much to me for anything else to get in the way." Not even Kylie and Leoric?

    Felicity reached out and placed her hand on the faun's shoulder. "What truly matters to you? Gold, revenge, and glory? Or the lives of your children? Loving them and them loving you?"
    "I can't be proud of anything. I am ashamed of everything."

    "I gave my heart, my allegiance, all my energy for this and got nothing but ashes in return. What on earth did I do to deserve being chewed and spit out like this? Time and time again, it's all the same."


    Felicity Playlist.

  3. #23
    Legend

    EXP: 127,650, Level: 15
    Level completed: 55%, EXP required for next Level: 7,350
    Level completed: 55%,
    EXP required for next Level: 7,350


    Philomel's Avatar

    GP
    14,025

    Name
    Philomel van der Aart (+ Veridian)
    Age
    30 (+10)
    Race
    Faun (+ Fox/Earth Spirit)
    Gender
    Female (+ Male)
    Location
    Corone

    View Profile
    Philomel looked up at the young woman, her eyes blazing at mention of Shinsou.

    "You go to Whitevale for him? To find him? Felicity," she breathed out slowly, shaking her head and frowning. "That man is good at heart, but do not throw everything in with him."

    Lips pursing she looked over the fields to where Whitevale lay, somewhere beyond the horizon, but a city she herself had visited once long ago.

    "Did you know that after the war and the meteor that he pledged himself to me and the Gilded Lily? But shortly thereafter he disappeared. He is my lover, the one man I thought I could be happy with, but ..."

    She sighed, shaking her head. "The Brotherhood was wrong to attack Radasanth. You are wrong to throw your lot in with them. Yes they gave you a home and a reason, I am sure but ... They killed innocents. And not to mention all that mess with Arius."

    Arius. The man who had threatened their very being, who had been anything but righteous and had been Shinsou's right hand man, but ended up deceiving them all.

    "Don't. Go there. Come with me," she looked right up at her, eyes wide as the idea formed.

    "Felicity, come with me to the Gilded Lily and show me a better way to live."
    *admin at your service*

    Matriarch of the Gilded Lily and of its brothels, associated establishments and the army.

    Characters:
    The family triplet: Philomel, Vaeron and Celandine.
    The god and kenku triplet: Stare, Avin and Vixen.
    The Primordials: Professor Charles and Moros.

  4. #24
    Nuclear Rage

    EXP: 64,948, Level: 10
    Level completed: 99%, EXP required for next Level: 52
    Level completed: 99%,
    EXP required for next Level: 52


    Flamebird's Avatar

    GP
    1,898

    Name
    Felicity Rhyolite
    Age
    19
    Race
    Neanderthal/ Human Hybrid
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Corone

    View Profile
    Felicity winced, listening to Philomel's side. Could she be detered now? After so much? Felicity reached up and grasped her forehead, more jaded and confused than ever.

    "I wasn't there when Radasanth was attacked. And to be honest, it scared me to hear about it." Felicity looked away, "Shinsou didn't mean to disappear, none of us did. Arius transported me to Salvar in an instant, I watched him teleport Shinsou someplace too. I failed to protect him from Arius, that's why he disappeared. It was my fault. And I've spent the last several months dragging myself from there to here. The reason I'm alive is that drive to reach him. I've lost enough already, I'm not betraying now because I feel something different."

    Felicity glared, "He's one of the few people who has ever believed in me. He gave me so much, how can I turn back now?"

    Images of Leoric and Kylie flashed before her eyes. Oh, Leoric. "I... I'm in love myself with someone. I wish so much that I could have abandoned it all for him. These last several months I've been tugged between him and Whitevale. But I doubt I could ever have him, and I know Whitevale still needs me. There's innocent people in Whitevale, just like in Radasanth. It's my duty to protect them. That's why I left once again, to return home. Philomel, I can't join you. Just like I wouldn't let myself chase him. If I left the Brotherhood, the first place I would have run is his arms..."

    Felicity looked away, "But didn't I ask you a question? What is better; gold, glory, and revenge or the love of family and friends? I can't have the man I desire, but I will have my teacher by my side again."
    Last edited by Flamebird; 03-24-2021 at 04:08 AM.
    "I can't be proud of anything. I am ashamed of everything."

    "I gave my heart, my allegiance, all my energy for this and got nothing but ashes in return. What on earth did I do to deserve being chewed and spit out like this? Time and time again, it's all the same."


    Felicity Playlist.

  5. #25
    Legend

    EXP: 127,650, Level: 15
    Level completed: 55%, EXP required for next Level: 7,350
    Level completed: 55%,
    EXP required for next Level: 7,350


    Philomel's Avatar

    GP
    14,025

    Name
    Philomel van der Aart (+ Veridian)
    Age
    30 (+10)
    Race
    Faun (+ Fox/Earth Spirit)
    Gender
    Female (+ Male)
    Location
    Corone

    View Profile
    Well, she had offered. And the offer would still be open to someone beloved of Shinsou. No matter what had happened the asshole of a man would still be the one that made Philomel's heart pound. Anger, fury, hatred, passion, frustration, regard, desire - oh Drys the desire.

    "When you are tired of playing their games you know where to come," she said gently. "Go to any brothel that bares the White lily and tell them the Nightingale calls for you." Nightingale. The meaning of Philomel.

    She rocked back to a comfortable position and thought of the questions Felicity posed. Love, honour, family. They were indeed important, and things that Philomel had either denied herself or lacked. And too - the young redhead had divulged that she had experienced love. Then why was she so determined to find Shinsou? Determined to deny herself happiness? But then Philomel was something of a hypocrite here. She herself was not running after the man.

    "Love is complicated for me. I was trained as a high end courtesan - I sell love. Or sold it, really," she pulled her hand through Veridian's fur, as the fox curled into a ball at her hooves. He purred softly.

    "I was trained to convince others that are in love with me. It was an act for years until I met Shinsou. I hardly believed it was real, actually."

    She sighed. "Therefore, I do not know how or where to even start. I don't know how to be a good mother. It's nothing I've experienced."
    *admin at your service*

    Matriarch of the Gilded Lily and of its brothels, associated establishments and the army.

    Characters:
    The family triplet: Philomel, Vaeron and Celandine.
    The god and kenku triplet: Stare, Avin and Vixen.
    The Primordials: Professor Charles and Moros.

  6. #26
    Nuclear Rage

    EXP: 64,948, Level: 10
    Level completed: 99%, EXP required for next Level: 52
    Level completed: 99%,
    EXP required for next Level: 52


    Flamebird's Avatar

    GP
    1,898

    Name
    Felicity Rhyolite
    Age
    19
    Race
    Neanderthal/ Human Hybrid
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Corone

    View Profile
    Felicity raised an eyebrow at Philomel's cynicism. She considered everything involving the Brotherhood some kind of game! She did not get love in the slightest. So, she looked down to the ground. How to explain? ...

    "I have little experience with romantic love, and I still doubt I'll ever find it in the man I crave. But... That's not the only kind of love there is."

    Felicity looked at the fox curled up with Philomel. She pointed at the ethereal mammal, "I bet you love your companion there."

    Felicity lowered her hand. "I experienced it with my uncle and cousin. They loved me. They loved me enough to completely move to a different land because I had no future in the one I was born in. My uncle provided for me, even when I was an ungrateful child. My cousin defended me and stood between me and harm. They loved me."

    Felicity leaned forward, "I experienced it with friends. People like Nevin and Yvonne. They acted in my best interests, even at the costs of themselves. Yvonne faced her fear of magic for me. And Nevin comforted me when I broke down. That was love too."

    Felicity smiled, "What is love? Love is a boundless attachment, deep feeling of passion and affection. You'll sacrifice anything for the ones you love. You'll gladly put yourself through grief to act in their best interests. You will protect, teach, and comfort for them. You will thirst for their presence when they are gone, and you will cherish when they are near. I have felt so many emotions. Hatred, sorrow, terror. But love is stronger than all of those. You will find the strength to face them for those you love. When I speak of love, Philomel, I speak of this. Agape love. True, deep affection and passion for friends and family. Love is the reason I'm still moving forward, regardless of what I've faced in this cruel world. I would do anything, lay down my very life, for Shinsou, Kylie, and even the man I desire..."
    Last edited by Flamebird; 03-24-2021 at 04:43 AM.
    "I can't be proud of anything. I am ashamed of everything."

    "I gave my heart, my allegiance, all my energy for this and got nothing but ashes in return. What on earth did I do to deserve being chewed and spit out like this? Time and time again, it's all the same."


    Felicity Playlist.

  7. #27
    Legend

    EXP: 127,650, Level: 15
    Level completed: 55%, EXP required for next Level: 7,350
    Level completed: 55%,
    EXP required for next Level: 7,350


    Philomel's Avatar

    GP
    14,025

    Name
    Philomel van der Aart (+ Veridian)
    Age
    30 (+10)
    Race
    Faun (+ Fox/Earth Spirit)
    Gender
    Female (+ Male)
    Location
    Corone

    View Profile
    Feelings. She knew a lot about feelings.

    And Veridian. Huffing a little, her attempt to recruit Felicity done, the offer to change the girl's life over, Philomel rocked to her hooves. Remarkably, this conversation was going better than could be expected. The faun felt something now for the little moving life within her belly, and one of those emotions was indeed guilt. There was a pang within her and loss for not having a strong relationship with Celandine, her daughter, as she could have had.

    The fox kept snoring, his side's heaving up and down, quite happy in his state. Keeping her eyes on him for a moment Philomel took some time to organise her thoughts before she replied.

    "Veridian and I are connected in a way beyond what anyone else might understand. We are siblings in the soul, our spirits are kin. It's hard to explain, but my Goddess whom I serve, Drys, told me so. He was, and always will be, my beloved. When he does I feel such pain, such a sense of loss that it feels like my body is being rent in twain."

    Her hands settled over her stomach, as she gazed up at the redhead with her slate grey eyes.

    "If you will not come back with me, Felicity, then promise me one thing. Take care of him and take care of yourself. If it comes to it that his life is in danger again, then I pray that you get him out of that. Do what you must."

    She nibbled her lip, perhaps being a fool for asking such a thing, but if the barbarian of a girl was truly passionate about staying with Shinsou, then Philomel had to ask.

    "And do not tell him I requested this. Just ... Keep him out of trouble. Though he's stupid enough to get himself into it anyway."

    Then she thought. "Could you take a letter to him for me?"
    *admin at your service*

    Matriarch of the Gilded Lily and of its brothels, associated establishments and the army.

    Characters:
    The family triplet: Philomel, Vaeron and Celandine.
    The god and kenku triplet: Stare, Avin and Vixen.
    The Primordials: Professor Charles and Moros.

  8. #28
    Nuclear Rage

    EXP: 64,948, Level: 10
    Level completed: 99%, EXP required for next Level: 52
    Level completed: 99%,
    EXP required for next Level: 52


    Flamebird's Avatar

    GP
    1,898

    Name
    Felicity Rhyolite
    Age
    19
    Race
    Neanderthal/ Human Hybrid
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Corone

    View Profile
    Felicity nodded, determination flooding her. "Absolutely. You didn't need to ask me to watch over him. I already was going to."

    Felicity blinked as the faun got up, asking one final favor.

    "Write it down. Quickly." Felicity stood up, "I'll deliver it to him myself; and make sure he reads it."

    In the grassy field, Felicity reached up and pulled her hair out of her face. She had purpose, regardless of what her mother had done to her. Felicity could only hope that Philomel understood that she had to watch over her son. She gazed upon the pregnant mother, wind rustling their hair, "And point me in the direction of Whitevale, please? I'm hopelessly lost."
    "I can't be proud of anything. I am ashamed of everything."

    "I gave my heart, my allegiance, all my energy for this and got nothing but ashes in return. What on earth did I do to deserve being chewed and spit out like this? Time and time again, it's all the same."


    Felicity Playlist.

  9. #29
    Legend

    EXP: 127,650, Level: 15
    Level completed: 55%, EXP required for next Level: 7,350
    Level completed: 55%,
    EXP required for next Level: 7,350


    Philomel's Avatar

    GP
    14,025

    Name
    Philomel van der Aart (+ Veridian)
    Age
    30 (+10)
    Race
    Faun (+ Fox/Earth Spirit)
    Gender
    Female (+ Male)
    Location
    Corone

    View Profile
    With her hand wrapped over the bloated womb that encased her son, Philomel looked at Felicity, a small and dad smile on her face. Though the warrior had rejected her offer of joining the Gilded Lily Philomel knew she would continue to be interested in her life, no matter how rude Felicity was. And short-fused. And annoying. Her tenacity though inspired the Matriarch and above all she favoured strength of heart.

    Taking out quill, ink and paper from her pack she settled to write a note to the man who was her lover.

    Shinsou

    I pray to Drys this finds you well.

    I have come across your progidy in the fields by Concordia, both of us at a crossroads apparently in our lives.

    She tells me you are alive and well, although I would have appreciated that coming from you. She has also persuaded me to keep my son.

    Indeed I am pregnant, although I have little idea who the father is. It could be one of many people, including yourself. I make no demands of you, or ask you to claim anything - above all, he will be my child - but it is by your right I make you aware.

    That and stop disappearing on me. I miss you.

    I love you. Despite it all.

    Philomel
    Folding the letter up she quickly pressed it into a square. She had no time to melt sealing wax, so tucked one end into the other and passed it to Felicity.

    "Get this to him safely. And Whitevale," she nodded and pointed towards the setting sun. "It's that way. Take care of him, even from himself. I will call on him when I need him."

    She smiled a little, "thank you."
    *admin at your service*

    Matriarch of the Gilded Lily and of its brothels, associated establishments and the army.

    Characters:
    The family triplet: Philomel, Vaeron and Celandine.
    The god and kenku triplet: Stare, Avin and Vixen.
    The Primordials: Professor Charles and Moros.

  10. #30
    Nuclear Rage

    EXP: 64,948, Level: 10
    Level completed: 99%, EXP required for next Level: 52
    Level completed: 99%,
    EXP required for next Level: 52


    Flamebird's Avatar

    GP
    1,898

    Name
    Felicity Rhyolite
    Age
    19
    Race
    Neanderthal/ Human Hybrid
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Corone

    View Profile
    Without a single peak at its contents, Felicity took the letter and secured it in her satchel. Taking the directions to Whitevale to heart, she stood up. Her purpose was out in front of her: Shinsou Vaan Osiris. He had trusted her as a general to save Whitevale, that was what she would do. Regardless of the cost.

    Felicity turned to the direction Philomel was pointing at. Ah, she would walk, run, to it. She turned to the faun a final moment and nodded, "You're welcome, and thank you."

    Felicity returned the small smile. Despite her disliking of the faun's choices and life style, she knew that she was not a bad person. The letter was in safe hands, until received to Shinsou.

    "Good luck."

    Felicity packed her luggage and swung it all on her back again. Once situated, the redhead gave her a small wave, then turned around. She ran off, far away. She was finally going home!

    She could only hope that home was waiting for her...
    "I can't be proud of anything. I am ashamed of everything."

    "I gave my heart, my allegiance, all my energy for this and got nothing but ashes in return. What on earth did I do to deserve being chewed and spit out like this? Time and time again, it's all the same."


    Felicity Playlist.

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