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  1. #1
    Ice Ice Baby

    EXP: 22,697, Level: 6
    Level completed: 39%, EXP required for next Level: 4,303
    Level completed: 39%,
    EXP required for next Level: 4,303


    Rehtul Orlouge's Avatar

    GP
    2,028

    Name
    Rehtul Orlouge
    Location
    Corone

    [Solo] Reflections of What Might Be

    Rehtul stretched his arms over his head and cringed as his elbow smacked into the hard stone floor beneath him.

    Wait, stone floor?

    Groggily he opened his eyes and surveyed his surroundings. All around him was a floor of stone, varying between shades of blue and gray. The young man sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, hoping that when he opened them once more he'd be back in the familiar inn room that he had leased for the year.

    "Nope," he said as he opened his eyes and surveyed the same cold stone surroundings as before. Ordinarily, most people would be quite agitated by the idea of randomly appearing in some new location, but the ice mage wasn't most people.

    "Not screaming, begging to find out why you're here?" a voice echoed out from the shadows, bounding off the walls. The young Orlouge shrugged and leaned his back against the wall. The cold touch of the stone behind him soothed his aching back temporarily, but he knew he'd have some severe stiffness come the next day.

    "Why would I bother asking? If you want me to know you'll tell me. Otherwise I'll be kept in the dark and you'll only get annoyed or amused by my questioning. It does me no good, either way," he responded with a slight scowl. Not only had he apparently been kidnapped from the center of Radasanthia, he'd been taken by one of those buffoons who so enjoyed the sound of their own voice.

    "You're right, of course," the voice said in a somewhat annoyed tone. "But you ruined my fun, and that's incredibly unsportsmanlike considering the trouble I went through to get you here."

    "I was asleep in a nice soft bed... and I find myself waking up on a cold hard floor. Do you truly expect me to be all that happy to play your games in this case?" the mage shot back without missing a beat.

    "True... It's been so long since I've had guests, perhaps I have neglected the finer details of keeping company. Ah well, what's done is done." With those words, a translucent blue being, vaguely humanoid in shape, but with shimmering, nearly undiscernible features, stepped... or rather floated forward from within the shadows.

    "Before you ask anything, what you see is not necessarily my true form, if I have one at all. I've brought you here through the realm of dreams, where anything is possible."

    "Now we're getting somewhere," Rehtul said as he stood up and stretched. Dream or not, he felt like he'd been sleeping on a stone slab for three days straight and needed to work out the kinks.

    "I suppose you won't ask why I brought you here, either," the being said, a hint of a pout to its voice. It was all the mage could do to suppress a smile at the childlike petulance the being before him was exhibiting. "Whatever. I brought you here because you are one of the few high leveled ice mages on the planet, and as an elemental spirit of ice, I cannot bear to see you going down the path you are currently walking."

    "That being... what? My desire to kill Ciato?"

    "The very same."

    "Well, I don't particularly care whether you approve of my intent or my actions. I will do what I must."

    The apparition raised an eyebrow, or at least Rehtul thought it did, as it said with incredulity, "What you must? Do you truly think that you're the one that absolutely has to deal with this man? Because I can tell you, there are plenty of others better suited to taking that man down than yourself."

    "Yet none of those who I know are capable of doing so seem to desire it."

    "You could gather the evidence, give them time?"

    "So that they can form ranks and protect him, maybe. No, I will kill him myself ."

    "And how exactly do you propose to do that?"

    Rehtul slammed a fist against the wall behind him as he nearly screamed, "I will become strong enough to kill him, his wife, his children, and my uncles if they're stupid enough to stand in my way!"

    "Well, that's what I expected to see... You hear yourself, boy? You're willing to kill people who have technically done no wrong by either yourself or the one you claim to be fighting on behalf of, just to snuff out the spark of life in a single being. However reprehensible this man may be, are you willing to cause so much collateral damage to-"

    "OF COURSE I AM! Everything I've done up to this point for the last five years has been in preparation for this! Why would I let them stand in my way at all?! They've done nothing to deserve it? They've shielded him from the consequences of his own actions for so long that he believes he can get away with anything! Anything, including playing the family against once another! He caused my sister to suffer because of his arrogant power grabbing!"

    "You'll despise who you become in the meantime, you know," the spirit said, a tinge of melancholy in its voice. It was as though it knew precisely the direction the young man was heading, and simply did not wish to see that.

    "Once you kill him, the only monster left... will be you."

    The words hung in the empty air between the spirit and the mystic for quite some time before Rehtul was able to come up with a response.

  2. #2
    Ice Ice Baby

    EXP: 22,697, Level: 6
    Level completed: 39%, EXP required for next Level: 4,303
    Level completed: 39%,
    EXP required for next Level: 4,303


    Rehtul Orlouge's Avatar

    GP
    2,028

    Name
    Rehtul Orlouge
    Location
    Corone
    "Me, a monster?" Rehtul weighed the thought in his head for a moment, not sure if he could even accept the idea.

    "Yes... one consumed by their own rage and thirst for revenge will always become monstrous, given enough time. It's like a parasite, you know. It eats away at whatever could be considered good about a person until all that's left is just hate and rage," the being said. "You're going to end up like that."

    "Sure, and I'll bet you the next thing you're going to try to tell me is that I should just forgive Ciato and live and let live? Nice try," Rehtul spat at the spirit as he started to stand. From the ceiling a gust of chilling air pushed down on the young mage, causing his legs to buckle beneath him.

    "Sit down and listen, you prideful human!" the spirit yelled angrily. Rehtul looked it in the face, where the eyes should have been, and grimaced. He could feel himself being judged and found wanting, but something, perhaps his pride like the creature said, would not let him back down. He forced himself on his feet and looked the elemental in the face with, pupils slightly dilated and breath coming out in ragged gasps.

    "I'm not human, and you'd do very well to remember that," he said. Magic coursed out from his body in visible rivulets as his steel blue eyes dilated further and he grasped his hands into fists.

    If the creature had eyes, it surely would have rolled them at such an act of hubris as it said, "Fine, stand. Whatever you wish. This is your dream, after all. I'm just trapping you in it, Mystic."

    The young Orlouge's ears perked up at the statement. If he focused, he could hear the stone around him creaking bit by bit as it settled into the earth beneath. Drips of water echoed through the darkness as the young man sat back down and attempted to think his way through the situation.

    "I'm dreaming, but you said you've trapped me here?" he asked.

    "Until you can either come to terms with the truth of your more bestial nature or overcome it and by extension break yourself free of the fate I've seen for you," the spirit responded solemnly.

    Rehtul turned toward the wall behind him and said darkly, "I cannot forgive what he's done. I will not forgive what he's done."

    "Oh, just listen to yourself. I can't, I won't. Did I say anything about forgiving him? Everything I see inside your head paints a clear enough picture that this Ciato fellow is a complete and total monster. I'd be a daft fool to attempt to make you forgive someone like that! No, what you need is a shift in perspective. You must still stop him, but not for revenge. You must stop him because it's the right thing to do."

    A sigh escaped Rehtul's lips as he turned his head just enough to view the creature trapped in his head with him.

    "The hell am I supposed to call you, anyway?"

    "Spirit Guide, Mentor, Annoying Dream Ghost... but I suppose you mean a name? I don't really have one, but you can call me Glacies. It's an old word from a far away land that means 'ice,' and it shall suffice." The young Mystic could hear the stupid grin the spirit was making because of that rhyming pun.

    "If I thought it would have any effect, you'd be eating a snowball right about now."

    "I know."

  3. #3
    Ice Ice Baby

    EXP: 22,697, Level: 6
    Level completed: 39%, EXP required for next Level: 4,303
    Level completed: 39%,
    EXP required for next Level: 4,303


    Rehtul Orlouge's Avatar

    GP
    2,028

    Name
    Rehtul Orlouge
    Location
    Corone
    "You know... if you mortal creatures were ever able to let go of your excesses, you'd be a far more prosperous society."

    Rehtul raised a brow at that and couldn't help but feel confused where that came from. The creature before him merely shrugged in response.

    "You, for example, you're letting this idea of cold revenge against a man you truly barely know weigh on you so heavily that it's causing immense strain on your psyche."

    "I've yet to see any proof to your claim," Rehtul retorted.

    The spirit looked slightly surprised. It stepped out into the dim light of cave completely and changed its shape entirely into the man sitting before him. He even copied the way the mage was sitting, only he was a couple of feet above the ground.

    "Did you not say that you would kill anyone who got between you and your quarry, regardless of their crimes or lack thereof, simply for aiding and abetting him in what he does?" the spirit asked. Hearing that thrown back at him, Rehtul shifted uncomfortably.

    "Perhaps I was speaking... too harshly," he admitted.

    "Perhaps? I'd say definitely. However, in a few years' time... it won't be so much of a stretch. What you said in the heat of the moment... Well..." With a wave of its hand, the spirit lit up the crystalline walls of the cave and showed a stark image. Rehtul stood in the middle of the family estate, white coat stained a deep red, almost black with blood, as his chest heaved in effort. Deep crimson blades of ice cut a swathe through the servants of the Orlouge manor as the silent image screamed deeper into the house as it gathered the blood of the fallen to craft ever more weapons.

    If an ice mage could be chilled to his bone, Rehtul had just experienced that sensation. He knew those people, had grown up with many of them, knew their children, and here was an image of him, slaughtering them just for the chance to get at Ciato?

    "That... that can't be right..."

    "The only monster left will be you... You think those were empty platitudes? Ruled by anger and hatred, mind and heart are corrupted, twisted into something that only vaguely resembles the original." The creature tapped its chin for a moment before continuing.

    "I suppose more accurately, I could say the hate and anger you feel will have taken your place. You'd be little more than a passenger in your own body, if indeed you existed at all anymore."

  4. #4
    Ice Ice Baby

    EXP: 22,697, Level: 6
    Level completed: 39%, EXP required for next Level: 4,303
    Level completed: 39%,
    EXP required for next Level: 4,303


    Rehtul Orlouge's Avatar

    GP
    2,028

    Name
    Rehtul Orlouge
    Location
    Corone
    "So... what do I have to do to get out of here?" Rehtul asked. The spirit was about to respond when the entire cavern around them began to shake. The image of Rehtul's possible future faded and Glacies swore under his breath.

    "Damn, I thought I had more time," it said.

    "Time for what?" the mage asked, suddenly afraid and curious.

    "You're not the only one I've trapped, kid-" The rumbling started again.

    "Well who else is there then?!" Rehtul snapped back, suddenly panicked. If whatever it was had been capable of shaking a completely different dream world, then it had to be a power to behold, perhaps something that he personally didn't want to deal with.

    "A monster I've kept sealed for years now. Unfortunately, with the recent cataclysm, much dark power has radiated into the world. It has strengthened his will, and now he seeks once more to break the seal upon his soul and body. If they were to reunite, a terror unlike any has seen in recent memory will descend upon the world once more."

    "Another follow of N'Jal that's been out of the picture for awhile, then?" the mage asked.

    "Yes and no... the creature was once bound to her will, but now hungers with a dark design all its own, free of her influence."

    "And that's better or worse?"

    "Who's to say? All I can tell you is that there's little time for you to learn your lesson, so... we'll have to resort to somewhat drastic action," the spirit said.

    "Wait, what?"

  5. #5
    Ice Ice Baby

    EXP: 22,697, Level: 6
    Level completed: 39%, EXP required for next Level: 4,303
    Level completed: 39%,
    EXP required for next Level: 4,303


    Rehtul Orlouge's Avatar

    GP
    2,028

    Name
    Rehtul Orlouge
    Location
    Corone
    A formless shadow rose from the ground between the young man and his doppelganger. The form turned a deep crimson before bursting into light before the young mage. Rehtul shielded his eyes for a moment before dropping his arm and looking at what the so-called "drastic measure" that was to be taken by his captor was to be.

    Before him, in all his blood red splendor, was the version of Orlouge who had committed the atrocities shown in the visions the spirit had shared with the young man. The creature looked confused for a moment, then beheld his younger self.

    "What's this? Some kind of illusion set up by father, perhaps? Does he seek to show me the person I used to be in order to get me to give up my goal?" the being mused aloud without so much as considering that he was in a reality other than his own at the present moment.

    "Here he is, fresh from a hand full of murders, still stained with their blood. The man you will soon become," Glacies said with a note of amusement in his voice.

    "This makes more sense, actually," the older Rehtul said before turning around. "Trying to stop me earlier than you did last time, spirit? You'll fail just as surely this time as you did in my timeline. There is no reality I will allow to exist where Ciato does not earn his just reward, a death at my hands."

    He turned toward his younger self, still sitting on the floor and said, "Perhaps you feel differently, but that will change with time."

    "I don't think so," Rehtul said as he stood up and faced himself. The older man looked him in the eye, but did not seem to truly see him.

    "What, you think you can beat me? I've been practicing for years in the Citadel. I've fought opponents far tougher than anyone you've faced in your entire life. Don't think you can-"

    "Stop you? I've no such illusions. However..." Rehtul said as a small blade of ice was dragged across the neck of his counterpart.

    The older man gasped for air as the younger man stepped forward. A point of ice appeared over Rehtul's hand and he shoved it into his older self's chest, straight through the heart.

    "Have you forgotten subtlety altogether? You don't have to go on a rampage to get what you want. Revenge is best served cold, after all." He noticed the pun a few seconds after it left his lips and he sighed. Too late now, the being before him was dead. He dropped the body of the beast he was meant to become and smiled somewhat sadistically at the thud sound it made as its head bounced off the ground.

    "Well... that was disappointing," the spirit said with a frown.

    "You were expecting some kind of knock down drag out brawl or something?" Rehtul asked, finally the one in control for once.

    "I was expecting more than that, at least," the spirit said, a noticeable whine in its tone.

    "I was an assassin at one point in my career, you know. I simply took advantage of my own penchant for being longwinded and drew the knife before he had even fully materialized."

    "Well that's... interesting," the spirit said, defeated. Another low rumbling shake filled the dreamworld once more, before a loud crack sounded through the entire world.

    Rehtul jerked and shot straight up in bed.

    "What the hell was that?!" he asked the darkness of his room.


    -----

    Somewhere, thousands of miles away, further north than even the furthest reaches of civilization in Salvar, a pair of emerald green eyes illuminated a darkened tomb. The spirit had been too late.

  6. #6
    Legend

    EXP: 127,650, Level: 15
    Level completed: 55%, EXP required for next Level: 7,350
    Level completed: 55%,
    EXP required for next Level: 7,350


    Philomel's Avatar

    GP
    14,025

    Name
    Philomel van der Aart (+ Veridian)
    Age
    30 (+10)
    Race
    Faun (+ Fox/Earth Spirit)
    Gender
    Female (+ Male)
    Location
    Corone

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    Commentary:

    Strengths:

    You start with a really great sender of foreboding, and open the story slowly and well. You do not provide all the information, but instead do it gradually so that we, as the reader, can be introduced to the idea of the tale with good pacing.

    In terms of character voice you have this defined well. Rehtul's inner voice is clear and present, as well as his more snarky comments, and as he goes on his adventures the reader learns with him, and learns more about him. The comments about the person who kidnapped him loving the sound of their voice is a good example of how his personality shines through the writing.

    A really beautiful insight into the purpose and wants and desires of your character, that really opened up to a future of exciting things that leaves the reader wanting more.

    Weaknesses:

    Overall I would have liked to see more of a balance with description and dialogue. There was some heavy explanation in parts and lots of conversation where there could have been more prose. What was said though was decently written.

    Scenery. More description and details would add just a little more to the overall thread and give it a sense of adventure and more meaning. The story seems all about the words and purpose for your character, setting up for possible future threads, and though this is fine to do it could have more done with the setting.

    The threads seemed to end on a staccato point. Although it was a good cliffhanger it was a little disjointed and sudden, with something missing. A bit of a, "and it was all a dream," type stereotype.

    Score: 65

    Rewards:

    Rehtul Receives:

    1500 exp
    70 gold

    Includes some discretion. All Rewards added.
    *admin at your service*

    Matriarch of the Gilded Lily and of its brothels, associated establishments and the army.

    Characters:
    The family triplet: Philomel, Vaeron and Celandine.
    The god and kenku triplet: Stare, Avin and Vixen.
    The Primordials: Professor Charles and Moros.

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