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Thread: March Vignette

  1. #1

    EXP: 125,650, Level: 15
    Level completed: 42%, EXP required for next Level: 9,350
    Level completed: 42%,
    EXP required for next Level: 9,350

    Philomel's Avatar


    Philomel van der Aart (+ Veridian)
    30 (+10)
    Faun (+ Fox/Earth Spirit)
    Female (+ Male)

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    March Vignette

    Welcome to the March Vignette!


    With both the global effort going well with the distribution of the vaccine, spring coming and our reinvention of some of the areas of Althanas, this month's vignette is simple - write on the theme of New Beginnings. This could be something new in your character's life or something simple like a new day.

    Vignette Close Date

    March 31st, 2021 at midnight EST


    1. One submission per character.

    2. All entries have to be within the declared period. Editing your post and completely changing your submission is okay as long as all the edits occur before midnight EST on the closing day.

    3. The moderator judging the monthly vignette contest may post a vignette at the end, but will not be eligible for first or second place.

    4. Only on-topic vignettes are liable for rewards. The topics are broad enough that no character should be particularly limited.

    5. PCs must be involved in all vignettes. How "canonical" you choose to have the events of the vignette is up to you.

    6. All participants receive EXP. The top two finishers also receive GP. (Clarification: this excludes off-topic submissions, as per Rule 4).

    7. Entries are assessed on the following merits:

    Use of topic: Did the writer use the topic, or write something completely random and off topic?

    Creativity: Did the writer make something unique out of the topic or was it more cliche?

    Mechanics: Basic writing mechanics: spelling, grammar, punctuation, word usage, etc.

    Notes: Additional comments.
    *admin at your service*

    Matriarch of the Gilded Lily and of its brothels, associated establishments and the army.

    The family triplet: Philomel, Vaeron and Celandine.
    The god and kenku triplet: Stare, Avin and Vixen.
    The Primordials: Professor Charles and Moros.

  2. #2
    Nuclear Rage

    EXP: 55,143, Level: 10
    Level completed: 11%, EXP required for next Level: 9,857
    Level completed: 11%,
    EXP required for next Level: 9,857

    Flamebird's Avatar


    Felicity Rhyolite
    Neanderthal/ Human Hybrid

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    I want to be a hero.

    The room, darkened and full of officers and officials, focused on her.

    I want to help people.

    She walked in the center of the room, down the walk. Torches illuminated many unfamiliar faces as she approached her mentor.

    I want to be loved.

    She stopped at the steps leading up to her teacher, her general. She saluted him, then knelt before him.

    I want to be respected.

    He spoke words memorized from a book he had read many times.

    "Felicity Rhyolite. Do you pledge to protect Whitevale at any and all costs?"

    I want to be feared.

    "I do."

    I want to be powerful.

    "Do you vow to serve this Brotherhood in your talents and abilities?"

    "I do."

    I want to be recognized as someone, something, important.

    "Do you vow to take this duty seriously, and dedicate your mind and body to the cause?"

    "I do."

    I want to be a hero.

    "Then by the powers vested in me, I promote you to General of the Brotherhood of Castigars."

    I want...

    The entire crowd of ranking roles, including her mentor, all saluted her the way she had him. She could feel the respect, the honor. So... Why then...

    ... Why did she still feel empty?


    Whitevale, her mentor, the Brotherhood. It was the fresh start, the new beginning, she had always wanted. Why then did this feel so void?
    Last edited by Flamebird; 03-04-2021 at 09:16 PM.
    "You’ve got power, and you’ve got skill. What you don’t seem to have is control." ~ Shinsou Vaan Osiris, to Felicity Rhyolite.

    "Your hair reminds me of when I was a little kid, helping my mom pick oranges in the forest. When life was simple, easy, and I actually felt something.” ~ Leoric Blackwell, to Felicity Rhyolite.

    "I can't be proud of anything. I am ashamed of everything." ~ Felicity Rhyolite.

    Felicity Playlist.

  3. #3

    EXP: 320, Level: 1
    Level completed: 16%, EXP required for next Level: 1,680
    Level completed: 16%,
    EXP required for next Level: 1,680

    Katya Violetta's Avatar


    Katya Violetta

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    Magical energy swirled around in horrific displays

    The sound of the kitchen knife piercing his flesh sickingly echoed in her head.

    With a gasp, she awoke.

    The five year old girl was panting, sweat covering her frame. Light flooded down from the humongous, elaborate church window. It bathed her in golden light, making her hot despite Salvar's cold climate. The girl threw her blankets off and bolted upright. Her bare feet slapped against the frigid, stone floor. Her bedtime garb soaked up the sunlight. It was an odd combination of temperature.

    Looking around, she was in the chapel of her local church. She still shook, traumatized by her father's actions. It felt like ages ago, though it had only been a couple days. She had only ever been to the chapel in services. The room was strangely vacant, the pews empty and void. She could feel the vacuum of silence here, it was unknown. It was scary.

    "Good morning, child."

    The five year old screeched. She whipped at to see a fully garbed priest walking in from a back door. The girl's heart pounded, but it was only a priest. Everything would be fine.

    The priest smiled beneath his white garbs, approaching her. "Oh, girl. I have spoken with your mother, of what you have endured."

    Goosebumps flooded her spine. He bent down to her, robes flowing elegantly, "You are safe here, Katya. Under the protection of our church, nothing will harm you."

    Katya gulped, tears flooding her eyes, "I... Can't stop dreaming..."

    The man smiled, kind and gentle, "I'm sure you can't, dear. The fact of the matter is, you have been dealt a blow. But, as the Ethereal Sway teaches, there is hope and purity to be found in suffering."

    He reached forward and wiped her tears away. Softly, gently. "We will teach you, if you let us."

    Katya really wanted to.

    Was this her home now?
    ~ The Ethereal Sway Wills It! ~

  4. #4

    EXP: 3,695, Level: 2
    Level completed: 57%, EXP required for next Level: 1,305
    Level completed: 57%,
    EXP required for next Level: 1,305

    Celandine's Avatar


    9 (but looks and acts 18)
    " Philomel?" came the gasp.

    Then the young woman turned around, the bob of her short brown hair bouncing. There was a stutter, then a gasp as the man who had called out the name looked at her in surprise and realised his mistake.

    "So sorry!" he gasped,

    Raising her pale-skinned and long fingered hand the girl doll her head gently, as his pale green eyes drifted to her goat legs, her generous curves and the small ram horns atop her head. It was clear there was some confusion in him, for he was already doubting himself now that he had spoken.

    "Wait - it's - you look so -"

    "I am not Philomel Van Der Apart," the faun said softly, her voice much calmer and careful than the Matriarch that the man had mistaken her for. "But I know of the Faun General."

    The man took a moment, still stumbled by the similarities between the two goat-legged beings. Rigidly he straightened, tugging on his leather breeches as if grounding himself back to reality.

    "You - you do?" He asked.

    "Indeed," the young woman nodded, but did not smile. Instead she kept herself bared, tall and elegant, with all the graces her good-hearted governess had taught her. "But if you are looking for her you will not find her here. She is due her child soon, and thus is currently not able to ... Venture."

    He blinked again, looking around the small shop that they were in, the shelves filled with potions and vials. The shopkeeper was nowhere to be seen, but instead there was a silver bell on the desk to call for them to appear from beyond the beaded curtain that led to the back of the shop.

    "Oh. Oh are you one of her -"

    "I'm not a courtesan, no," the young faun said quickly, "no not at all. But I know of her Guild and her work. She is quite a legend in this city, I am led to believe."

    "Oh indeed!" Happily, he proclaimed. "Indeed. Some might say she saved the city from the invasion of the Brotherhood. And the wealth and prosperity she had brought, the trade she is linked with - why, it is not surprising she is finally getting herself an heir for all of... Well." He laughed lightly.

    The young faun tried to chuckle in response. Yet it came out as a dry attempt, with an obvious line of disappointment in it. It made the man pause, then frown as he realised perhaps he might have praised the Matriarch of the Guilded Lily perhaps a little too much. Perhaps realising that the woman before him was not the keenest fan of Philomel Van Der Aart he coughed and began to make his excuses.

    "Well yes, goodbye and goodday madam. Thank you - and sorry again."

    "Please, no worries," she smiled a little, again gesturing with her hand. "You are kind, sir, to be so polite."

    "Yes, well goodbye," he bowed rigidly, oddly, before hurrying out of the potion shop, causingg the bell on it to ring terribly sarcastically.

    The young faun just laughed softly to herself, now genuine, and looped her hair back behind her ear. She thought of her soon-to-be brother and the fact that he was so well known to be coming whereas she, Philomel's first born, was more of a whispered rumour. Celandine, daughter of Philomel and her dearest friend Rameses Vaeron, raised for the first few years in secret in a brothel by others, and then recently in a fortress hidden away from the world. Blessed to mature and learn incredibly fast she was just nine years of age, but graced with the body of a true woman and the knowledge of one three times her years. Now thought to be ready she had come to Radasanth to begin experience for herself, to begin to make an adventure of her own.

    It was her own beginning.
    Last edited by Celandine; 03-03-2021 at 03:19 PM.

  5. #5

    EXP: 67,821, Level: 11
    Level completed: 24%, EXP required for next Level: 9,179
    Level completed: 24%,
    EXP required for next Level: 9,179


    Vincent Cain
    Human (Tap Phantom)
    Boop. Boop.

    Vince let out a deep sigh, well, as deep as he could muster with the mask over his face. His glasses fogged up, obscuring the woman on the other side of the check-out counter from his vision for a moment. Before him were all the essentials, Jiffy-Pop popcorn, several bottles of wine, condoms, and a digiorno pizza. All of the ingredients for the one magical ritual he could perform on earth, date night. The venue of his current adventure? The mystical and magical dungeon known as Walmart. To his left, and approximately six feet back was a goblin that stood about five foot three and didn’t understand the concept of their nose being part of their respiratory system. Behind them was a valiant knight in shining armor, decked out in gloves, three face-masks, a face shield AND goggles.

    “Sir, your total is 32.99” Vince’s eyes shot back to the woman in front of him as he fumbled through his pockets to retrieve his wallet and insert his card into the chip reader. It croaked angrily at him, he withdrew it, paused, then reinserted it. Once again it croaked angrily and once again he let out a deep sigh.

    “Sorry, need to get this thing replaced.” The woman in front of him rolled her eyes a bit, that was probably a phrase she heard on repeat all day every day. For a third and final time, he reinserted the card and it croaked the three ominous tones at him, this time accompanied with a message to swipe his card. He obliged, and soon was shuffling away with his newfound loot.

    Vince found himself lounging on the same shitty couch he’d had since he’d moved out. Years of neglect and mistreatment had worn it down. The legs were wobbely, the springs at the buttom were a little too loose so you sank too far in when you sat down. Don’t even get him started on how it always ate the fucking remote, but none of that mattered right now, because at the moment he was cuddled up next to his favorite person in the world. Nay, make that two worlds actually.

    Rayleigh Cain, adorned in grey sweatpants and a black tank top was watching enraptured as Mr. Incredible squeezed his way out of an undersized cubicle and marched his way to his bosses office. In one hand she gingerly cupped her third glass of wine or so, in the other she delicately held the last slice of pizza absentmindedly. He’d spent the last five or so minutes debating whether or not he should try to steal said slice, he’d even concocted five or so comments to make about said slice, but three of them involved pointing out how much she’d eaten and he had the sneaking suspicion that would end up with him sleeping on this couch.

    “I still can’t believe you grew up watching movies like this.” Ray murmured, raising the slice of pizza up to take a bite, but pausing as the short man on screen fidgeted with some pencils. “No wonder you wanted to be a hero so badly.”

    The words pulled on Vince’s heart ever so slightly, his gaze drifting from her, to the pizza, and then finally back to the movie he was only half watching. He couldn’t recall how many times he’d watched the Incredibles, but as he watched the scene unfold, how Mr. Incredible didn’t want to stand idly by as a man got mugged, something stirred within him.

    “I still wish I could be…” he mused before kissing the top of her head.

    “Wished?” his wife shot back, breaking her gaze from the luminescent screen in front of her to meet that of her husbands. “Vincent, you’re one of the greatest heroes I’ve ever known.”

    “Was.” he replied shaking his head. “On Althanas I was the Emperor...back on earth? I’m…”

    “The same man, but no magic.” Ray interjected having replaced the slice of pizza onto her plate and holding a now freed finger up to his lips to sush him. He had to fight the urge to snatch the pizza slice as the smell of grease and pepperoni lingered on her finger.

    “And significantly less bulletproof.” He replied dejectedly. “Back on Althanas I could tangle with the worst of the worst, and even if things went sideways I’d just pop back up in my office a week later. Here on earth...the average joe could pull a fast one and blam, I’m dead.”

    “Well…” Rayleigh paused, weighing her options. “You could always go see if the fire station down the block needs some volunteers. Significantly less bullets going your way there...” Vince paused for a moment, significantly pondering the idea. “You don’t have to fight bad guys to make the world a better place Vince...besides.” She smirked leaning deeper into him. “You could always be my sexy fireman.”

    Vince felt a grin creep across his face as he leaned down to meet her lips with his own for a quick smooch before breaking away with a chuckle. “I suppose that could work.” Without skipping a beat his hand crept sneakily but slowly to the last slice of pizza and brought it to his mouth taking a bite.

    “Hey!” she protested, eyes widening in shock.

    “You’d had it in your hands for five minutes! I was pretty sure you were trying to reheat it with your body heat at that rate!”

    “I was distracted by the movie!”

    “Well, ya took too long. Now your pizza’s gone.” Vince immediately regretted that decision, as his wife began a pout that he was act one of “Vincent get’s kicked out of bed by his very mad wife” A popular song and dance soon to get it’s own broadway musical unless he changed the tune of this conversation. “Fine! What if we went somewhere fun for our date next thursday instead?” Her pout ceased its drooping, her lips halting their downward decline. This was a good sign but he needed to, as the ancient phrase went, turn that frown upside down in order to get himself out of the doghouse. “I hear they have some pretty good social distancing measures at the Arcade at the mall…” he crooned. “We could go bowling, have some not frozen piiiiizaaaa.” She smirked, and that’s all he needed.

    “That Mr. Cain,” she replied “Would be pretty poggers.” Vince clenched his jaw to refrain from busting out laughing at the drop of such egregious internet slang.

    “It certainly would be Po-” Vince opened his mouth, but before he too could Pog, the world flashed a bright teal and the two of them were falling backwards through the air. His eyes widened as Ray let out a yelp, and immediately years of instinct sprung to work. He flung the pizza away, freeing his hands to wrap around his wife, pulling her over him and placing his back towards the ground. He had no clue how far they were falling, but he’d hit the ground first and cushion the blow for her.

    A soft thrum coursed through his body, something equal parts alien and yet impossibly intimate as a snap of realization coursed through him. On pure instinct the two vanished in a cloud of sparks and reappeared on the ground beneath them, Vincent carefully holding his wife bridal style. The two of them were silent for a moment, breathing heavily as they pondered the night sky above them.

    “Well honey, I don’t think we’re in Texas anymore…” the Emperor managed to mutter after a long pause. There was a longer pause before Rayleigh piped up.

    “Fuck, that movie was good too.”

  6. #6

    EXP: 400, Level: 1
    Level completed: 20%, EXP required for next Level: 1,600
    Level completed: 20%,
    EXP required for next Level: 1,600

    Saz Eristrad's Avatar


    Saz Eristrad
    A pool of crimson at his feet reflected the vacant stare etched on his face.

    Saz stared at himself, both fascinated and terrified. The visceral image of himself hoarded the heat that fled from his fingertips as numbness set in. They flinched infrequently, a testament to his ebbing resistance. His shoulders sagged forward and his back hung limp, pitiful. His spine was folded in two uneven halves, either side of him cascading over a blade, thrust through him and buried in the ground.

    More of his essence flooded from his lips, and every effort he made to breathe ended in a fit of coughing. He could feel the warmth in his lungs, unnatural, every heartbeat filling them will fluid. After long, he would drown if the wound failed to end him first. "M...other," he rasped, but the word came weakly. He barely heard himself. "Fa...ther?"

    Salty heat washed down his face and dripped to the floor, distorting the image that held his attention. Saz could feel the life racing from his veins, every stroke of the clock an agonizing reminder that his time was at hand.

    I don't want to die.

    Ripples writhed in front of him. The image he focused on was gone, replaced with something erratic, intense. He tried to lean closer, but the pain wracked him again. "I... wan...t..."

    Saz blinked. He stared hard into the crimson lake, certain that the sulfuric gaze that stared back at him was a mirage.

    You seek life.

    It was not a question. The question reverberated as it echoed in his mind. It grew in volume and ferocity, and with it, he felt something else. The heat seeping out of his body felt cold by comparison. "Yes," Saz answered breathlessly. The Heart of a Forge ignited within the youth as he gulped greedily at the air. His lungs threatened to burst as he filled them to overflowing, and the heat of his breath sent an agonizing ripple through him as it scorched the amassed viscera.

    "My chest," he gasped. "My lungs!"

    Saz was fire. The sensation ripped through his body as a sensation like acid seared the inside of his respiratory system. Tears on his face dissolved as steam roiled upward from his pores, and when his eyes threatened to water, he felt the same intensity jump from his chest to his face. "Aaaaargh!"

    This is life, boy. This is my life. Our life.

    His fingers coiled around the metal impaled through him. They blossomed a familiar color as the weapon dug into his flesh. Saz stared angrily down at the offensive blade, prying at it like a mild inconvenience. His palms sizzled as he slowly ripped himself away with a sick pop. He slid along the edge and lowered himself to the floor, until he was on his knees in his own vitae. The broadsword clattered to the floor in front of him.

    Everything stung. His mind was beyond understanding now, so he questioned nothing. A simple, instinctive revelation struck him truer than all of the suffering. "I live," he whispered.

    All the braziers in the room flickered out at once as thought left him. Blackness consumed his surroundings. Saz dreamt of fire.
    Last edited by Saz Eristrad; 03-20-2021 at 12:26 AM.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator

    EXP: 8,208, Level: 3
    Level completed: 81%, EXP required for next Level: 792
    Level completed: 81%,
    EXP required for next Level: 792

    Tyr's Avatar


    Tyr Vythari

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    Vignette closed for judging.

    Thank you all for participating!

  8. #8
    Super Moderator

    EXP: 8,208, Level: 3
    Level completed: 81%, EXP required for next Level: 792
    Level completed: 81%,
    EXP required for next Level: 792

    Tyr's Avatar


    Tyr Vythari

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    March Prompt

    - write on the theme of New Beginnings. This could be something new in your character's life or something simple like a new day.


    Use of topic- There really isn't much to draw from other than you certainly followed the prompt, but the event was a bit dry for me. Although that could have been the intent. I feel that you could of injected more substance into this prompt to give it more flare and depth. I'll touch on base some with what I mean under Creativity. I did enjoy the way you went with such a big day in Felicity's life and the layout you went with. I certainly like writers putting a unique spin on the prompts and some structure was that.

    Creativity- What I enjoyed most about your entry is the way you used subtext in such a way to be short bursts of emotion that punched through the actual event, then using it to divide an otherwise drab story. Touching base on what I was saying under "Use of Topic" with substance, it is mostly with the scene and some background depth to the story that readers may not know about that certain event. With setting the scene, there's little there to send the imagination of the reader to soar to paint a picture. A certain balance to keep in mind with setting the scene: you don't want to provide too much information to where it makes the imagination of the reader irrelevant, but you want to provide just enough information that it sets up the readers imagination to paint the picture.

    Mechanics- There isn't much to point out in this area worth mentioning.

    Katya Violetta

    Use of topic- You did well on following the prompt, but I feel a little more could of been put into it to fulfill what was being portrayed in this entry. I couldn't help wanting to know a little bit more surrounding the father! Using a traumatic experience and sliding into a new beginning with wonder was a good way to go and you did a good job. You touched base on other elements I wanted to see also.

    Creativity- I enjoyed the flow of the creative mind with how you spin some descriptors to help paint a picture in this scene. You sprinkled in just enough about the surroundings and characters to where I had no trouble following what was going on, but there was an instance like "humongous, elaborate church window" that tended to be overkill disrupting the flow of this entry. "Humongous" could of been axed, as the reader would have filled in the blanks with just giving them "elaborate church window".

    Mechanics- I can't really harp on much in this area except with a few commas dumped into this piece. Some of them could've been removed to promote smoother transition and pacing.


    Use of topic- The slice of life being portrayed here did target the prompt and followed through, giving this piece a light and colorful feel with how it was written. There honestly wasn't many spots that pushed my attention away from following on to the end, nor leaving me wondering where the topic may be injected. Learning a few things about the lives of Philomel and Celandine was quite refreshing. Providing what I most enjoyed about the play on the prompt.

    Creativity- One thing I wanted to see from the creative mind of the writers with this Vignette was I wanted to see some personality, not only from the character the spotlight was on, but with the surroundings around that character as well. You did touch base on this and I could read the personality of the writer in the words. A new beginning or new day, be it good or bad, there is supposed to be some emotion involved. The movie playing out in my mind throughout this entry had no problem painting the picture with the words that were chosen, but there were some hang ups here and there that jumbled up the course.

    Mechanics- A couple misspellings and some punctuation mistakes disrupted the pacing and the flow of the storytelling in small ways. Repeating some description led into little over telling in places that felt a bit much. These things could've been easily rectified by a read through and edits.

    Cards of Fate

    Use of topic- Well, you certainly had quite a unique way of taking the prompt and spinning it to make it your own. It was a fun read and I enjoyed the elements used, including touching base on what I wanted to see from the writers with the topic. If it wasn't for the fact it was beyond the length for a typical Vignette, you did a good job here.

    Creativity- Definitely a strong area for the story with how went about laying it out. I was entertained throughout this piece with how you went about weaving in elements from not only Earth, but then emerging into a new beginning in a different yet familiar reality back in Althanas. You did well keeping the two different with clues like titles and also the comedy mixed in was great. The only thing that dragged the entry down was the shear length with spots added in that felt unnecessary to the effectiveness of the story.

    Mechanics- I did pick up on a typo and some punctuation mistakes sprinkled within that led into some run-on sentences that disrupted the flow.

    Saz Eristrad

    Use of topic- You also come forward with a unique way of making the prompt your own. I enjoyed how you went with a more cryptic interpretation by using life and death as a new beginning or new day as nobody else had. It also touched base on other elements I was quite pleased with. One thing I enjoy is making folks think with storytelling in such a way you had.

    Creativity- Definitely a strong point with what was written. There was a certain elegance that drove this piece with the prompt in tow to a higher level that I was impressed with. Use of vocabulary in a way not only to paint a vivid picture with just enough detail, but to draw in the reader to experience what the character was going through was well done to me. I certainly felt emotion and was drawn in to carry through to the end.

    Mechanics- I didn't pick up on many mistakes, but I will say there were some commas in places that needn't be there with how written. For example: "He slid along the edge and lowered himself to the floor, until he was on his knees in his own vitae."

    I enjoyed reading all of these entries! One thing I love about Vignettes is the vast variety of writers that go about things in different ways. I know this Vignette closed after the 15th of March for the ending of Althanas Festival double rewards but I'm giving them anyway. It's difficult to choose whom wins places when so close sometimes. 2nd was that.

    1st place: Saz Eristrad
    2nd place: Katya Violetta

    Saz Eristrad receives:

    400 EXP
    400 GP

    Katya Violetta receives:

    320 EXP
    300 GP

    Celandine receives:

    300 EXP

    Flamebird receives:

    1100 EXP

    Cards of Fate receives:

    1200 EXP

    Congratulations to Saz for the win!

    Thank you all lots for participating and for your patience on this.

    Rewards Added
    Last edited by Tyr; 05-18-2021 at 11:38 PM.

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