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  1. #1
    upon the cheek of night

    EXP: 214,764, Level: 20
    Level completed: 0%, EXP required for next Level: 0
    Level completed: 0%,
    EXP required for next Level: 0


    Breaker's Avatar

    GP
    38,525

    Name
    Joshua Breaker Cronen
    Age
    30
    Race
    Demigod
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

    May-June 2019 Althanas Day Vignette

    Rewards in this vignette will be DOUBLED for all submissions made on May 4th and 5th 2019. The vignette will be open the whole month as usual, but in honor of re-opening the forums, today and tomorrow are bonus days.

    The prompt:

    "Your character has been transported to a place they've never been before. Where are they, and how did they get there?"

    I hope to see some truly unique entries!
    Shoot some diamonds and sparks
    from your torso

    -Wax Mannequin

  2. #2
    upon the cheek of night

    EXP: 214,764, Level: 20
    Level completed: 0%, EXP required for next Level: 0
    Level completed: 0%,
    EXP required for next Level: 0


    Breaker's Avatar

    GP
    38,525

    Name
    Joshua Breaker Cronen
    Age
    30
    Race
    Demigod
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    Since no one posted in this during May, we'll extend it to June! Enjoy
    Shoot some diamonds and sparks
    from your torso

    -Wax Mannequin

  3. #3
    Althanian

    EXP: 19,829, Level: 5
    Level completed: 98%, EXP required for next Level: 171
    Level completed: 98%,
    EXP required for next Level: 171


    Gum do Mugu's Avatar

    GP
    2,971

    Name
    Gum do Mugu
    Age
    41
    Race
    Dheathain Human
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

    View Profile
    “Catch me,” he begged the wind. His dainty parachute, fluffy and white, pined for just a breeze. Afternoon in the valley warmed the meadows and streams with promise. Fate, and the joy of a purpose fulfilled, waited across the weave of daisies and clovers. Somewhere, tomorrow morning winked and smiled an innocent’s answer.

    In the night, so many years back or forth, the old shaman’s essence dreamed a real dream. To be here, or there, or anywhere—it was as much the slice of a knife as it was a heart’s loving notion.

    And so, it went. It was a feeling sure enough, it was contentment.

    “I see before me… only life.”

    Then the wind came, summoned by the cradling benevolence of his ancient will. “I’m away!” he exclaimed, grinning in his mind’s eye. It was a rush to twist upward into the sky, nothing weighed him down. He breached across the cerulean extent, and plunged into its tangerine sundown.

    The valley floor carried a river and her fish, and those fresh waters called to the seed. “Kind waters, thank you,” he said, “but, I am expected somewhere else.” And so the shaman whooshed up again, the little seed danced through the air on humble gusts of divine wind.

    From the east flank, the seed crossed over the meadows, the river, and the farmer’s pastures, to find itself floating against the sorrowful frets of a child’s broken heart.

    For the first time that night, he felt the weight of consequence, as he dreamt there, in his bed. And truly, the weight pulled him happily toward’s the nose of the child. He whispered left, he whispered right, and brought the flighty little seed to its intended station.

    The child stopped crying and crossed its eyes to focus on the tip of its nose.

    “Huh.”

    “It’s a dandelion seed,” mother said as she rubbed the little one’s shoulders. “Let’s go and find a spot in the garden.”

    What a lovely dream...
    ( i like water ) O o . ζ°)))彡

  4. #4
    Althanian

    EXP: 5,050, Level: 3
    Level completed: 2%, EXP required for next Level: 3,950
    Level completed: 2%,
    EXP required for next Level: 3,950


    Lilthis's Avatar

    GP
    2,605

    Name
    Lilly Svalesin
    Age
    22
    Race
    Dark Elf
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Alerar

    View Profile
    White hair fluttered and spun in the wind, painting the sky as snow flurries swarmed around the dark elf’s lithe figure. Icy powder barraged her ebony face, staining it, no longer melting on impact as it had hours ago. Wind whipped across her cheek, slicing at flesh with a cold sting.

    Soaked through boots crunching in the snow reminded her of the track of boot prints that seemed to span on infinitely behind her. How long had Lilly been trekking down the ridge? Hours? Days? She couldn’t be certain. The last thing she remembered was a city… or was it a field… something to do with magecrafts.

    From the summit of the glacial peak she could barely make out a glimpse of hope through the thick sheets of snow. Far off, near the base of the mountain, she could see a glimmering light of some sort. That must’ve been radiating from a cabin or township or anything warm and dry. It’s constant glow mocked the freezing dark elf as she strove onwards. Consumed wholly by the fantasy of a hot meal and a roaring fire.

    Occasionally she’d glance away from the beacon and walk staring straight up. Something was amiss with the sky. It seemed to shimmer and move with a reflective quality. Perhaps it was just the moisture in the air. Maybe her exhaustion was playing tricks on her mind.

    Distraction and hiking down mountains are a terrible combination.

    “Shit,” she muttered as her right foot lost itself and fell out from under her. Flailing about her body contorted into a jumbled mess as her other leg spun around her narrow torso. All of her questions about the sky, the gnawing cold, and aching limbs were instantly replaced by the overwhelming sensation of falling. Gravity had come for her and panic set in. Before her mind could process its impending doom the inventive elf suddenly jolted upwards.

    Gone was the cold and the whooshing of the wind. Pale blues eyes lazily came to attention through several stuttering blinks. Lilly was indoors, seated, and across from an elderly elf adorned in extravagant robes. His face was framed by an outlandish beard which poked the air in every direction. And he was smirking at her.

    Smugly he parted his lips to declare, “you wouldn’t stop asking questions about how astral projection works.” Running a few fingers through the scruff hanging from his chin he grinned and said, “now you should know how it works.”

    Lilly glanced towards the table he gestured to. Sat atop the polished wood was a small glass orb. The orb showcased a quaint town in the grip of winter, surrounding a large snowy mountain.

  5. #5
    upon the cheek of night

    EXP: 214,764, Level: 20
    Level completed: 0%, EXP required for next Level: 0
    Level completed: 0%,
    EXP required for next Level: 0


    Breaker's Avatar

    GP
    38,525

    Name
    Joshua Breaker Cronen
    Age
    30
    Race
    Demigod
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    Thanks for participating! This is closed for judgment.
    Shoot some diamonds and sparks
    from your torso

    -Wax Mannequin

  6. #6
    upon the cheek of night

    EXP: 214,764, Level: 20
    Level completed: 0%, EXP required for next Level: 0
    Level completed: 0%,
    EXP required for next Level: 0


    Breaker's Avatar

    GP
    38,525

    Name
    Joshua Breaker Cronen
    Age
    30
    Race
    Demigod
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

    May-June 2019 Vignette Judgment

    Thank you both for participating! It was interesting how you both chose to have your characters go somewhere mentally rather than physically, but despite that you both fulfilled the prompt admirably with appropriate length vignettes. These were not the best entries I've seen from either of you, but they were creative and intriguing nonetheless, and since I delayed this judgment a couple months we'll double up the rewards.

    Gum

    Use of topic: Solid use of topic, although it was pretty difficult to understand what was going on. While there was ample poetry in your words, it got in the way of the prose as often as not. Take your first paragraph for example; of the four sentences that comprise it, three of them are rather abstract. I'm sure this was intentional to convey the dreamlike experience, but I think you'd benefit from dialing the dynamic wordplay down a bit, and (especially at the beginning of a post/vignette) giving the reader something more tangible to build on.

    Creativity: This is the aspect where you shone the most; although I didn't "get" some of your literary devices, they were nonetheless elegantly composed. I really admire your ability to find unique ways to explain ordinary things such as wind or warmth. It not only gives the world you describe a unique spin, it brings your character to life in a very believable way.

    Mechanics: I might have noticed a small error or two but don't recall anything worth mentioning. Well done!

    Lilthis

    Use of topic: You were on point as ever, finding a really unique way to put your character in an intriguing setting. Somehow you almost always manage to properly approach the prompt from an angle I didn't anticipate. In addition to using the topic well, you had an excellent structure and rhythm to your writing. The vignette started with vivid sensations which grounded me in the prose, and ended with an explanation of the events via dialogue. Really well done.

    Creativity: I kind of covered this above, so I'll just say that choosing astral projection as a means to get to a new place was pretty damn clever.

    Mechanics: There were a couple of words such as "barraged" which you may have used slightly incorrectly, but nothing that would interrupt the average reader so I didn't score anything against you.

    Great contributions from both participants!

    But there can only be one winner...

    Congratulations, Lilthis!

    Lilthis receives 600 EXP and 400 GP

    Gum receives 960 EXP and 300 GP

    (rewards doubled due to judgment delay)

    Hope to see you all in the next event!
    Shoot some diamonds and sparks
    from your torso

    -Wax Mannequin

  7. #7
    upon the cheek of night

    EXP: 214,764, Level: 20
    Level completed: 0%, EXP required for next Level: 0
    Level completed: 0%,
    EXP required for next Level: 0


    Breaker's Avatar

    GP
    38,525

    Name
    Joshua Breaker Cronen
    Age
    30
    Race
    Demigod
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    Rewards added.

    Lilthis reaches level 3!
    Shoot some diamonds and sparks
    from your torso

    -Wax Mannequin

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