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Greetings! Again, I shall endeavour to keep this short and sweet.

Your first paragraphs, Storm, certainly hammered the title home! Admittedly it didn't get too much worse than that until post 5,...

Greetings! I have just a few jots for you tonight!

Despite a few elements that bordered on the ridiculous - ostriches? where in all the heavens did they come from? - I found your overall story...

How many hours went by in blissful slumber? How many days passed as she wafted in and out of consciousness?

Her strength returned to her in fits and starts. Her memories retained scattered...

The flame of his spirit flowed over her, around her, into her. Her robes, soaked from flying through cloud and falling through snow, dried out between heartbeats. The chill that had crept into her...

Silence swirled at her feet, at her hands. Lifeblood drained from the deathlike pallor of her face, pooled at her abdomen. Wisps of mist caressed her face in comfort and consolation. She sank further...

Her eyes fluttered open. The blurred world beyond made little sense to her tortured mind. She had not moved from where she lay on the cold floor of the mausoleum, a thousand crystal shards scattered...

Agony flared, like the petals of a fiery flower blossoming inside her stomach. Angelus’s tendrils of shadow had speared straight through the layer of incarnate energy she wore like armour over her...

The sun glinted from the frozen waters of a distant lake, sinking low on the western horizon as they climbed. Barren and lashed by the wind, the hillside offered little protection from the elements....

Few walked the muddy streets, despite the light that yet remained to the early evening hour. Smoke rose in lazy spirals from daub and wattle chimneys, painting dusky streaks upon the blushing...

Sped onward by the keen reflexes of his people, Angelus’s magic spiralled forth to bolster the battered wood and broken hinges. The third blow of the bardiche, instead of biting deep, rebounded from...

“Ow...”

Her forearm, slender and pale with chill, soon broke free of the pile of splinters, broken boards, and dirty thatch. Coughing and wheezing to feed her strained lungs with fresh oxygen,...

“Jump!”

Desperate for an alternative, Kayu cast her senses about her. To her right the trail stretched towards the Kalev Highlands. Given two desolate days of trudging through treacherous...

Hi Kryos,

I've been looking forward to this one ever since you started writing it. Let me begin by saying it's good to see you back and writing again!

With no further ado...


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Story:...

Nipping in with just a few comments, some to reinforce what Storm and Revenant have already pointed out, others to highlight my own feedback...

First of all, there's never enough anti-mage...

Story: As Sir Artemis says, the nature of the thread was easy to pick up early on - "A Day with Uncle Storm" - and it was quite a refreshing read. I agree that there were some contradictions /...

Nipping in with just a few comments.

The spelling error in the title is quite noticeable. Just saying...

Post 4 - thoroughly enjoyed the running battle with the tortilla. "Perhaps this food was...

*Meep*

Done. - Ray

Lunch break jots, one of two (paired entry)!

A star fell from the heavens that night.

Birthed from the deepest void to Kayu’s left, a wake of glittering white trailed behind a vanguard of...

The doors, solid bloodoak gilded in gold, swung open imperiously. Through them strode a matronly woman of indeterminate middle age, her wiry slender frame clad in robes as white as the shimmering...

A whispered worry.

“Please tell me she’s safe.”

A cackled response.

“You worry too much, Seregon. She’s safe with me.”

An ancient sigh, echoing loudly through the hollow...

Slowly, tenderly, she pried herself from the comforting softness of the silken threads embracing her. Her head throbbed in pulsing agony, remnant aches of the exertions that had seen her fight...

Her head swam.

Pain – agonising, overwhelming, nauseating pain – ran like lightning through her nervous system, burnt like fire in every muscle of her fragile frame.

Pain – sweet, succouring,...

They died easily enough.

I’m sorry.

It did not take her very long to decipher their true nature. Unlike the hordes of zombies she had witnessed during the Corpse Wars, no necromantic will drove...

The ground beneath her feet erupted.

Sheer explosive power sent her staggering backwards half a dozen paces, splattering her grimy white robes with clods of wet mud and shards of splintered stone....

Rewinding a few hours…

“Girl, why do you always run!”

“Not now, Auntie Tsuru!”

Tsuru’s swaddled form kept a close eye on their pursuit from her turbulent perch upon Kayu’s shoulders. Behind...